Total Drama Batman
by niko56
Summary: Rather than beat around the bush i have decided to make this little gem! Watch your favorite castmates and mine take on the iconic roles from DC Comics greatest superhero franchise! With many laughs, cries, fights, and of course DRAMA! So enjoy and REVIEW
1. Prologue

**I own nothing!**

**That's right sports fans I've done it again! You know how I have always enjoyed Batman and Total Drama, correct? Well now here's the big chance to see YOUR favorite castmates portraying DC's finest super hero franchise! Yup, I'm rewriting Bruce Timm's, Alan Burnett's, and Eric Radomski's 1990's smash hit series, _Batman: the animated series._ TOTAL DRAMA STYLE! **

**This would be the perfect way to parody the 2nd greatest animated show of all time (according to IGN) Yup, total drama meets Gotham City! Many of the castmates were so used to seeing making fools of themselves on animated reality TV, can now make fools of themselves in other crazy and maniacal ways. **

**So please, enjoy this little crazy and possibly not-worth-while-endeavor. Drop me a REVIEW! And, I'm writing the character list now, if you don't like it, TELL ME ASAP! I'm not changing mid-way through the series, got it? Good. **

**Heroes **

**Batman/Bruce Wayne: **Trent

**Robin/Tim Drake: **Cody

**Barbara Gordon/Batgirl: **Bridgette

**Nightwing/Dick Grayson: **Geoff

**Alfred Pennyworth: **Himself

**Commissioner James Gordon: **Chris

**Detective Harvey Bullock: **Chef

**Detective Renee Montoya: **Courtney

**Villains**

**Joker: **Duncan (Keep in mind this is the Mark Hamill joker from the series, not the Heath Ledger version which would make more sense casting Chris as the role.)

**Two-Face/Harvey Dent: **Alejandro

**Scarecrow/Johnathon Crane: **Ezekiel

**Poison Ivy/Pamela Isely: **Izzy

**Catwoman/Selina Kyle: **Gwen

**Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot: **Owen

**Harley Quinn/Harleen Quinzel: **Lindsey

**Riddler/Edward Nygma: **Noah

**Mr. Freeze/Victor Fries: **Tyler

**Mad Hatter/Jervis Tetch: **Harold

**Bane: **DJ

**Red Claw: **Eva

**The Ventriloquist/Arnold Wesker: **Katie **Scarface: **Sadie

**Killer Croc: **Justin

**Rupert Thorne: **Himself

**Talia Al Ghul: **Heather

**Ra's Al Ghul: **Himself

**Well kiddies it's late and I have to catch some shut eye! See ya!  
**

**Till next time!**

**XD**

**Oh and review! :)**

**Season 1**

**The Cat and the Bat**

**The Jokes On You**

**Pretty Poison**

**Mad Love**

**Cold as...Well, You Get The Idea**

**Two-Faced**

**Mad As a Hatter**

**The Laughing Fish**

**Did I Scare You?**

**Harley&Ivy**

**Season 2**

**The Joker's Wild**

**If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Rich?**

**Vendetta**

**Avatar**

**Almost Got 'im**

**A Cat In the Hand**

**Riddle Me This**

**Harlequinade**

**I've Got Batman In My Basement**

**Two's a Crowd  
**


	2. The Cat and the Bat, Part I

**Villain: Catwoman**

**Episode Counterpart: The Cat and the Claw (1992)**

**Written by: Sean Catherine Derek, Laren Bright**

**Directed by: Kevin Altieri**

**PLEASE REVIEW! Preety please  
**

**Episode 1: The Cat and the Bat**

She scaled the building stealthy and effortlessly. She wore a tight black outfit. Attached at the belt, a whip. Her nails were so sharp they could cut glass. The cowl she wore covered most of her face up to her chin. The outfit was also customized with cat ears.

Catwoman was her name. Larceny was her game.

She climbed to balcony and peered through the locked sliding glass door. Eying up a priceless diamond necklace across the room, protected by a very expensive laser grid

"Gorgeous." Catwoman licked her lips, she woke the black cat resting on her shoulders. "Isis, wake up darling, you're on." The cat yawned and stood on her shoulders.

Catwoman readied her sharp claws -[screeeeee]- and cut a small circular hole in the window.

Isis jumped through the hole and walked gingerly to the laser grid. Being small enough she was able to sneak through and grab the necklace. She quickly exited through the glass hole. And into her owners happy arms.

"Well done Isis my sweet. Let's go home." she cracked her whip.

She got a good hold of the next building and swung downwards. Meanwhile, the great caped crusader watched the entire event unfold.

"So, our new cat burglar is a woman." he said.

He quickly thought of a way to bypass her for a sneak attack. While on the next building Catwoman admired her find.

"This'll be a perfect addition to my collection."

"Funny, cause you'll make a nice addition to my list of arrests."

"Meooooooooooow!"

"You...?" she sounded surprised

"Yes, and you are?" Batman asked

"The names, Catwoman; and might I say you are just as they portray you dark knight...and I like it." Catwoman purred

"And I like when people don't steal from others." they started to circle each other.

"Well, it appears we've reached...a dilemma! [slash]

"ERGH!" she scratched into his cape.

"Nice, huh?"

"Well, looks like I'm gonna have to trim those claws."

"Not likely-erah!" she leaped right over him and darted for the edge of the building.

"Wait stop! Catwoman!"

"Relax Batman." she cracked her whip

"I'm sure I'll be fine!" she cracked it onto a flagpole of a nearby building and swung towards it.

"Well, two can play this game-[peoosh!]" he shot his bat-ling hook at the same building, and swung towards the femme fatal.

"Nice try Batman, but you'll have to do better then that-[schwing!]"

"Whoaaaaaa!" she cut the line, and Bats seemingly fell to his untimely death...But of course, he did not.

With quick thinking he drew another bat-ling hoot and launched it to the building

"Whew." then from the rooftops he heard

"We'll meet again Dark Knight, hopefully next time under better circumstances!" she darted away. Batman simply hung there and sighed.

And now we cutscene to Gotham Central PD, to Commissioner Chris M. Gordon's office to be precise. He was sitting at his desk, in a collared shirt and tie, with khaki pants. And glasses. With him in a blue suit get-up, flipping a coin was the District Attorney, Alejandro Dent.

"This is the tenth larceny report this week." Chris groused "If this keeps up, the department is going to become a laughing stock!"

"Relax Commissioner, I'm certain a "friend of ours" will have the answers we need." Alejandro insisted

"It's far too early."

"Care to flip for it?"

"No th-" Batman entered through the open window.

"Speak of the devil."

"Commissioner, Mr. Dent."

"Buenos noches my friend."

"Any word on these robberies?" Chris asked

"As a matter of fact, I happen to know our new cat burglar is in fact a lover of cats."

"Uh, come again?" Chris asked.

"She calls herself Catwoman, shes very good at stealth, speed-"

"And stealing apparently." Alejandro added

"Well at least we know who to look for, I'll get Bullock on the case asap."

"Alejandro, I trust the DA's office can get us an airtight case on our little feline fatal, wouldn't want her claws back on the streets, if you catch my drift." Batman insisted

"If you catch her Batman, I'll put her in jail for ya."

"Good."

"Well then, since we've settled this little-huh?" Chris turned around to notice Batman had vanished "But, how did? How does he do that?"

"I doubt we'll ever know."

Now we cutscene to the Batcave, where Trent Wayne's trusted butler Alfred was already waiting, reading the days paper.

"Rough night of crime fighting sir?" he asked

"You could say that." he approached the bat-computer.

"I heard about the robberies, any leads?"

"As a matter of fact, it's a cat...a rather fetching one."

"Ah, I see. Well forgive me sir, not that I enjoy our little chats, but; pray tell Master Trent, speaking of fetching felines, I do believe you're late for your appearance at the "Save the Wildlife Gala"

"Oh man I totally forgot!" Batman quickly threw off his cape and cowl.

"As I anticipated as much sir, I have already laid out your suit for the evening, and have started the Rolls Royce sir, it is idling out front for you."

"What would I do without you Alfred?" Trent asked

"Oh I shutter to think sir."

Trent Wayne got himself gussied up for his appearance in the date auction.

"And now ladies and gentlemen our next date to be auctioned. Give it up for Gotham Cities most eligible bachelor, Mr. Trent Wayne!" The spotlight shined on Trent as he approached the stage where the ladies were already all over him like fried on chicken.

"Now ladies, ladies, please; there's plenty of me to go around."

"Alright, we'll start the bidding at $1,000."

"$1,000!"

"$1,500!"

"$2,000!"

"We have 2,000 do I here 3?"

"3,000!"

"4,000!"

"5,000!"

"$10,000!" the crowd gasped

"Wow, uh...do I hear any more bids? Then sold to the elegant, Ms. Gwendolyn Kyle!" Trent saw the midnight blue haired beauty on the other side of the ball room. He approached her.

"Well, hello there Ms uh, Kyle was it?"

"Oh, please Mr. Wayne, call me Gwen."

"Oh uh, sure, uh call me Trent."

"Alright." she began to write out a check. "Here you are, $10,000, forget the date, you're off the hook, I'm in it solely for the wild cats you see." Trent quickly grabbed her arm.

"Now wait a minute, you paid to have a date with Trent Wayne, and that is exactly what you're gonna get."

"Well, alright, what say, lunch? Tomorrow at noon?"

"Sounds great, I'll uh, pick you up at your place?"

"Sure thing, here's my address." she handed him a slip of paper. "I'll see you then."

"Yeah...s-s-s-see ya."

The Next day at Gwen's lavish apartment, near noon. She got herself looking nice and started to talk to her various cats. That's not weird...

"Oh you guys should have seen him last night. Tall, handsome, with a chiseled jaw and excellent muscles." and it just got that much more gay in here. "The Batman, we would be perfect...sigh, except were two completely different people, he would sooner see in jail." she threw an outfit on.

"Still, you have to admit, I did get away from him."

[knock, knock, knock]

"Sigh, must be Trent, oh how I wish it were Batman behind that door." she opened it up, sure enough, there stood Trent."

"Afternoon Gwen, I uh, got you these." he handed her a bouquet of flowers.

"Oh thank you, they're lovely." she set them aside "Won't you come in, I need to freshen up."

"Take your time." Trent admired her place, which had some pretty cool stuff, along with 5 cats. "If you don't mind me saying, you have a lot of nice things."

"Oh thanks, I'm sort of a philanthropist."

"Yeah...and uh, you uh...sure love cats."

"Oh I do, always have, and always will, that's why I'm the way I am." she exited.

Trent then noticed the very same necklace from last night on the coffee table. He gasped a little, then to add more to the coincidence Isis had hissed at him

"hisssssssss!"

"Isis!" Gwen blared

"I'm so sorry, shes usually so good with people."

"Yeah...well uh, come on Gwen, lets get going."

"Oh, okay." the two left the apartment, with Trent now getting the idea his new girlfriend is Gotham's newest burglar...

**Tune in next time for part II**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	3. The Cat and the Bat, Part II

**And here's part deuce!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! Enjoy**

Trent and Gwen drove towards the Rose Cafe, a restaurant he frequents. He put on the Batman face throughout the whole ride. Gwen eventually seemed to notice and broke the silence.

"So...6th richest man in the world...that's gotta be something, right?"

"Uh, yeah it has it's benefits." Trent sighed

"Oh, gee Trent uh...your mind seems elsewhere since we left...did I do something wrong?" YES!

"No-no, no...no...no no, it's uh...I uh...have a headache, that's all, not to worry, these happen."

"Hmm, the life of a busy CEO. I hear you're the terror of the Gotham night scene." Girl you don't know the half of it.

"Some might say the same about you." Trent added cleverly.

"Oh me, nah."

After an equally quiet lunch, the two decided to walk the strip mall near the city square. Trent had an idea of how to incriminate and expose Gwen. They passed the Fancy-Pants Jewelery store.

"Nice stuff they got here, but oh how pricey."

"Gasp, Trent Wayne, care about price?"

"Well, frivolous prices."

"Ah." then something caught Gwen's eye.

"Ooh, the cats eye emerald, it's quite rare, and definitely something I would like." Trent smiled

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, I adore all things cat, that's why I'm trying my damned best to save the cats on this nature reserve."

"Well that's rather sweet of you Gwen." Trent then noticed a Rolex next to the emerald "You know I have every Rolex model ever made except that one, ooh; $15,000 that is steep."

"I see, you should put it on your Christmas list." Gwen joked

"Oh I will."

Later, Trent dropped Gwen back at her place.

"Well thanks for the uh, lovely date Gwen."

"Sure thing Trent, I hope we could do this again some time." she gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Trent closed the door.

"Oh, I have a feeling we won't." he whispered.

"Well Isis my sweet, tonight is another night...hopefully I can get what I want, as well as a piece of the dark knight." she pet her cat.

Trent was greeted by Alfred when he returned home.

"Good afternoon Master Trent, how was your date with Ms. Kyle?"

"Surprisingly eventful, yet dull nonetheless." typical.

"Oh what a surprise, you wouldn't have enjoyed yourself sir."

"No Alfred, I mean I think Gwendolyn Kyle is Catwoman."

"Hmm, wealthy animal rights activist, lover of cats, owner of many, has a lot of nice things you don't know she found, oh please sir, I could have told you that." Trent opened up the Bat-cave entrance.

"So, why didn't you?"

"Well you're the detective."

"Very funny Alfred."

"Not a funny bone in his entire body." Alfred sighed

"Look, once Catwoman is behind bars things will be right again, I happen to know what she'll steal next, all I have to do is give Bullock the run around." he suited up and jumped in the Batmobile.

"Sigh, he worries me sometimes." Alfred shook his head.

The Bat Signal lit up the Red Gotham night sky. Detective Harvey "Chef" Bullock stood atop the roof with Chris, awaiting Batman's arrival.

"He ain't gonna show."

"Give it time Harv."

"I'll give him five more minutes." Chef scoffed

"I think that's all we'll need."

"I don't get it Commissioner, why do we rely on that pointy eared freak?" Chef asked picking his teeth with a tooth pick

"Dammit Bullock it's a warzone out there, and Batman is our best weapon-" he landed on the roof. "Told ya."

"Evening Commissioner, detective Bullock."

"Cowl Head." Chef sneered

"Any news on Catwoman?"

"As a matter of fact, I think shes really Gwendolyn Kyle."

"The animal rights activist, ha; get a clue Bats, why would she steal stuff for the wildlife?" Bullock chuckled

"Actually Harvey, that makes perfect sense." Chris said scratching his chin

"It does? I mean, of course it does."

"You have a plan?"

"Yes, I think I may know what she intends to steal, but I'll need your help."

"What is it?" Chris asked

"The Cat's Eye Emerald, it's on display for sale down at the strip mall." Batman explained

"Of course, I'll send my crews in right a-...way?" Bullock turned his head to see Batman vanish "How do you put up with this?"

"You get used to it." Chris shrugged.

At the strip mall, Catwoman gracefully landed right in front of the store. Eyeing up all the shiny goodies inside the glass.

"Well, tempered glass huh, let's just see how "tempered" you are." she chuckled. And cut a hole right next to the lock of the door, she then let herself in. "Piece of cake." she gracefully swiped the emerald and the watch Trent was looking at earlier.

"Ah, there's my baby."

"Up to your usual tricks-"

"GASP." Batman was behind her. "You, I was hoping to see you again Bats."

"I was hoping to see you too...Gwen Kyle." he smirked

"Huh...ha, I uh...think you have the wrong girl Batman."

"Oh, do I...I've seen you dress up, I know what you've stolen...and you're going down!"

"UGH! Fine, you know my secret Dark Knight, but you're gonna have to chase me first!" she ran out of the store only to find

"FREEZE!" Chef's team was waiting for her.

"Gwendolyn Kyle, we have you surrounded, drop the stolen goods, and put your hands up!" he ordered. Gwen sighed, she knew she was beat. And complied with Chef's orders.

"Thanks Bullock, I'll take it from here." Batman approached Catwoman with a pair of Bat-Cuffs.

"Of course you will." Chef groaned.

Batman approached Catwoman, ready to arrest her, where; this would end this little vignette -NOOOOOOT! Oh come on you thought it would end like this?

Catwoman put on an evil smirk, then kicked Batman right in the gut.

"GAH!" she grabbed her loot.

"Ha, you'll have to better then that boys!" grabbed her loot cracked her whip and swung to the roof.

"Shes getting away!"

"Stop her!" the police yelled.

"Well your plan sure worked...Bats?" Chef bellowed just before Batman hit to the roofs.

"Dammit, fan out, find her!" he yelled

"Yes sir!"

Batman and Catwoman started a game of Cat and mouse-er, bat. They swung from building to building.

"Aw, Batman, you don't know how much I've waited for this...even if it was one day!"

"This turns you on?"

"A little!"

"It doesn't matter Gwen, you'll still be mine!"

"Oh Yes!"

"No-no, not like that!"

"Oh I know." she stopped at a building, knowing she would need a little extra oomph to get to the other side, Batman landed just behind her.

"Another fight Dark Knight?" she asked

"Oh sure thing."

"Hmm hmm hmm, you realize, kitty has claws?" You know what, if there is not 20 reviews by tomorrow from this chapter I will go jump in a lake, cause this is the best dialogue I have ever came up with.

"Let's mambo."

"Hi-yeah!"

She lunged. But Batman fell on his back and kicked her to the other side of the rooftop. She quickly recovered.

"Oh, yeah; come at me Bats!"

"Ha-[schwa!]" he tossed a batarang but it missed

"Ha, missed m-[bong]" well it is a Bat-ARANG "Well played."

"Thank you."

"But now it's my turn!" she jumped in and went for a slash, but missed.

"You missed."

"Wasn't aiming for you. Until we meet again Batman. That was such a purrrrfect brawl, but I really must run. Ta-ta." she jumped off and swung to the next building. Unknowing Batman already knew where to look for her.

"Oh, we'll meet again soon Gwen, real soon."

Catwoman landed on her balcony. And walked inside. She threw off her mask and admired her loot.

"Ah, yes, the cats eye, this will surely pay for the reserve." Isis rubbed up against her. "Hello there my sweet." she then noticed the watch.

"And this little trinket is for Trent...cause I know he wanted it."

"Touching Gwen." Batman appeared on the balcony

"Hissssssss!"

"It's alright Isis, he's right. Look, you have to understand Batman, I'm in it for the cats, that's all I really care about." oh how that sounded familiar to the caped crusader.

"I know you mean well Gwen, but stealing to get what you want is not acceptable, and I can't have that."

"I know." she approached him. "But you have to admit, it was fun while it lasted." Gwen smiled

"Yeah, it was." and then they shared a kiss. The first of many

"Aw, you do care-[click]" he handcuffed her

"More than you'll ever know-[slam]" Bullock and his officers entered

"You're coming with us Kyle." one officer ordered. She turned to see Batman had already disappeared. She smiled

"So, the game begins...You'll see Batman, but you forget, the cat has 9 lives, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" she shouted.

**The End, PLEASE REVIEW!**

_**Starring:**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr.: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

_**Guest Starring:**_

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Catwoman

**Marco Garzzini: **Alejandro Dent

**Neil Ross: **Auctioneer

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Police officer

**Mark Hamill: **police officer, various

**Tara Strong: **girl

**Mae Whitman: **girl, various

**Tune in next time for our next vignette: The Jokes on You! **


	4. The Jokes On You! Part I

**Villain: Joker**

**Episode Archives: Joker's Favor; Beware The Creeper**

**Written by: Paul Dini; Steve Gerber**

**Directed by: Boyd Kirkland; Dan Riba **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 2: The Jokes on You!**

It was a late evening at the Ace Chemical Plant. Duncan Napier and two of his henchman emerged from their vehicle. Each wearing a trenchcoat and fedora hat.

They entered...rather broke into the facility, nonchalant my ass; and started to creep their way towards payroll.

They were completely unaware of the fact Batman was already in the rafters waiting for them. Along with his young ward, Robin, and the ever elusive Batgirl. See, I told you I would put them both in this vignette.

"How dumb are these guys?" Batgirl asked

"Yeah, what a bunch of maroons." Robin added

"They might not know were here." Batman reminded them.

"Riiiiight." the sidekicks agreed

"Alright, one each; I'll take the leader." Batman ordered, then not saying another word he launched a batling hook to another steel girder ready to pounce.

"How come he always gets the leader?" Batgirl asked

"Who cares." Robin groaned

"Well Cody, you're in a good mood today." she whispered.

Now we cutscene to the gane who were walking down a catwalk across the factory floor. Below were many vats containing a bleach and acid solution. Yeah that's probably safe.

"Hey boss, you sure hitting this place is worth it?" one goon asked

"Of course, we need all the dough we can get right now, quit asking me stupid questions Rocco!"

"Geez Duncan, you're so grim, would it kill you to smile every now and again?" the other asked

"Sure Henshaw, when hell freezes over."

"This guy could give lessons in not smiling to Trent." Robin whispered to Batgirl.

"I know."

"Look, I know this place gives you guys the creeps, but once we reach payroll we'll be home fr-"

"I don't think so." Batman swooped in and kicked Duncan right in the gut, knocking him over

"Ugh-[thud]"

"Gasp, it's the Batman!" the other two drew guns, only to be bitched by Robin and Batgirl

"And us, don't forget us." Robin chuckled

"You." Duncan stood up. "I've heard things about you Batman, you've had some cat problems recently."

"Can it creep-o, I don't know what you want, but I can assure you-"

"What I want? Ha-ha, why the hell else should I come to a chemical factory in the dead of night, I want money you fool! Ha-ha-ha. Some detective you are Fart Knight!"

"Dude, he smiled, and laughed." Rocco added from the floor.

"I know, this is creepy bro."

"Your this, this great detective, and you can't even deduce why some wanton crook with a small time gang would want to be in some acid plant at like 11 at night, ha-ha-ha-ha! You're pathetic!"

"Knock it off I mean it!" Batman ordered.

"Ha, I'll knock it off, when you quit bothering everyone in Gotham you-whoa!" he went in for a punch but clearly Batman was having none of that.

"Clearly I'll have to teach you some manners!" he pushed Duncan into the railing, Duncan stepped on a near broken piece of the floor which gave way and he fell into the vats below.

"I'll teah you some man-Whoa-WHOOOOOOA!" [splash]

"It gave way." Batman sighed.

"Did you notice the green Mohawk, anyone?" Robin asked

"What about the other-two?"

"Looks like they got away." Batgirl stated

"Come on, we should go." they quickly left the facility.

Moments later Duncan emerged from the vats, but he didn't look the same. His eyes were dark and bloodshot. His hair completely green with a black tint. His whole face and body bleached white due the chemicals, and his lips bright red. Even his suit changed, mostly purple with the undershirt green. He stepped out, laughing hysterically.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh, I really must have gotten lucky on that one-[hick]" he stepped on a peace of broken glass. He saw his reflection.

"Whoa!" he jumped "That's...that's me!" no dummy it's Heath Ledger! Too soon? Mark Hamill? "My face...my lips...my hair! Okay the hair only looks improved but this! Batman." he sneered "Looks like I'll be the one teaching the dark knight some manners, but I'll need some supplies first. And maybe a cheeseburger. Oh I am one funny guy, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Wait a minute...wait a minute. Funny, Joke...r...J-Joker, alright, my new name, the Joker Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Joker exited the facility laughing all the way, and hit the streets. He found a local news stand.

"Paper sir?" the guy asked

"Yes please." Joker picked up a copy of the Gotham Tribune.

"Well, well, seems old District Attorney Dent is getting some big testimonial at the crowne rigde tower plaza tomorrow night eh?" even his voice changed to something clownish, yet sinister.

"Oh yes, anyone who is anyone will be there, The Commissioner, Trent Wayne, Mayor Hill."

"And maybe even Batman, right?"

"Oh sure, like he'll show."

"Oh he'll show alright, I'll make sure of it." Joker threw the paper down and started to walk away

"Hah-ah-hah-hah-hah-ah-hah."

"Hey, you owe me 50 cents for the paper-[bang bang]" Joker lazily fired towards him "Or-or-or not."

Now we cutscene to the batcave. Where Robin and Batman exited. Cause they live there, that's why.

"How were your rounds tonight gents?" Alfred asked

"Not good Alfred, someone accidentally fell to their death at the ace chemical plant this evening."

"Oh, good or bad?"

"Bad and as rude as the day is long, but dead is dead."

"Don't worry Alfred, he'll get over this sooner or later."

"Of course Master Cody, when you've been his butler for as long as I have, you get used to these sorts of things. Come, I've fixed your supper."

"Yes, coming Trent?" Cody asked

"In a few minutes guys, I still have to work over a few things." Trent took off his cowl and looked over the bat-computer.

"Something tells me we haven't seen the last of that guy." he pondered. He then got a call. "Hello, Trent Wayne here."

"You can drop the little voice changing act Batman, it's me."

"Bridgette, what can I do for you?"

"Well I was looking over what was in those chemicals our little friend fell into this evening."

"And, what did you find."

"They're very toxic and have very negative effects on the dermis, it bleaches it, as well as other things. But, it's not life threatening, at all."

"So, he's not dead?"

"Nope, I was listening in on Dad's police scanner, and a newspaper salsman not far from the chemical plat reported a distress call of a man fitting the symptom-ed discription steal a newspaper and try to kill him. I doubt it's a coincidence."

"Yeah so do I...I guess we'll have to see what his next move will be."

"Agreed, hey; you don't think, he would try and do something at Al's testimonial would you?"

"It's possible, and it was the page one headline in today's paper."

"Oh no."

"Look Bridge, all we have to do is go there, Cody and I are invited, and you can go with your dad, if and when he tries anything, we'll be ready."

"I dunno Trent, sounds like that's what he wants us to do."

"Of course that's what he wants us to do, we just have to outsmart him, we did it once."

"Yeah, plus it's so much fun kicking ass as Batgirl."

"Yes, the fighting is the best part."

"Hey, look I gotta go, why don't you get some rest, oh and Trent?"

"Yeah?"

"Trent and smile will ya."

"Goodnight Bridgette." he ended the transmission, and went upstairs in search of food.

Joker walked towards his abandoned hideout, where his so called loyal henchman sat in the living room, wondering what to do next.

[ker-slam] "Rocco, Henshaw!"

"B-boss?"

"Duncan is that you?"

"I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

"Boss, you, you, what the hell happened?" Henshaw asked

"Oh a little change is all Shaw, oh and it's not Duncan Napier anymore more, no-no call me, Joker."

"Uh, o-okay, Joker."

"Better, how do you like that fellas, your miserable old boss now faced with a permanent smile, makes you want to laugh, doesn't it?"

"A little." Rocco admitted

"Now, about our next move I have it all planned out. Tomorrow night were going to get revenge on the Batman."

"But how?"

"I'M GETTING TO THAT! Now then, we kidnap the DA Alejandro Dent, at his little testimonial, that'll lure the dark knight into a trap which we'll set. Speaking of traps, were going to need to invent a few of our own, and I think I know just where to start."

"Oh-okay boss."

"Yeah sure."

"Excellent, by tomorrow night, Batman and Gotham City won't know what hit em, in fact, they'll be part of something bigger, I'll call it, The Killing Joke-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

**To be continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**I know I said Duncan is based off of the Mark Hamill Joker, but this next scene gets very Heath Ledger-y. But I'm confident you'll enjoy it anyway, alright stick around for a little Why so serous? action.  
**


	5. The Jokes On You! Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Twas late the next afternoon at Wayne Manor, Trent was preparing for the evenings festivities while at the same time skimming through the days paper.

"Hmm...odd."

"You mean besides your nightlife sir?" Alfred asked

"Very funny Alfred." Trent groaned

"Not a funny bone in his entire body." the butler whispered

"No I mean, five different places were robbed today. Many of which joke shops and novelty stores, and even a dentists office, but only a highly concentrate of nitrous oxide was stolen from there."

"Laughing gas sir?"

"Yeah, odd, quite odd."

"But why on earth would anyone want to steal laughing gas?"

"I don't know Alfred...but I have a sneaky suspicion it has to do with the guy who fell in that vat last night at the Ace Chemical plant."

"Well sir, if I could make a suggestion, when dealing with gas, might I recommend an accessory this evening?" Alfred held up a reinforced Batman cowl which doubled as a gas mask.

"Perfect."

And now we can cutscene to the Crowne Plaza Tower restaurant. Twas Gotham's ritziest place of eats. Wait a minute, ritziest place of eats? Man I should have taken honors English, anyway...

The 22nd floor was packed for Alejandro's big testimonial. (of wit, I have no idea what one is) The very relaxed newspaper salesman who works far too late was right, anyone who was anyone was there.

Cody Drake, Trent's ward, wasn't the least bit excited, bored as hell I might add. Kicking ass was one thing, but having to steak out for a psycho who may not even show up, does make one a little dreary.

"Ugh, Trent why did you drag me here?" he groaned

"Because Cody, I'm certain that gangster who fell into the vats wants revenge, this is the perfect place for it."

"Yeah whatevers, I got my eye on some free shrimp."

"Have fun, and re-"

"Trent!"

"Commissioner Gordon, I didn't expect to see you here."

"Oh bull you old socialite, I wouldn't miss our dear friend's most crowning achievement for the world. Well maybe for court side tickets at the Knicks game, but Al doesn't need to know that." Chris chuckled...Why the Knicks they suck.

"Ahem."

"Oh yes, Trent, you remember my daughter Bridgette?"

"Of course, hello Bridgette."

"Mr. Wayne." aw, they're good actors

"And of course you know my ward Co...dy." he turned to realize Cody was elsewhere

"ay at?" Cody turned asking with a mouthful of shrimp.

"Ugh." Trent groaned "My apologies."

"No worries, have you tried the shrimp, hmm, hmm, hmm it is delicious."

"I think I will." Chris walked away

"Any sign of him?" Trent whispered

"Not yet...though I think Cody can assure us he's not in the shrimp bowl."

"Yeah, alright I'll keep looking."

"Gotcha boss." Bridgette walked over to Cody.

"Hey squirt, you find our little friend in the shrimp bowl?" she asked

"Don't sass me!" Cody groaned getting back to eating.

"Ugh, Cody Drake you are one huge slob."

Speaking of huge slobs, Trent, while searching, ran into another familiar face.

"Mr. Wayne!"

"Oswald Cobblepot, is that you? Man, you've put on some weight."

"Oh I know, this shall be the straw to break the canary's back, but; I'm worth it." he added stuffing his face with a piece of cake.

"So, how goes the club scene."

"Pretty good, pretty good, can't complain really; ooh shrimp?"

"Yeah I here it is great."

"Well, I'll be perusing that, nice talking to you Trent."

"As always." then he saw Mayor Hill

"Mr. Wayne."

"Mayor Hill, well quite a turnout this evening."

"Oh yes, yes of course, but if anyone deserves this, it's Al, and this will be a great publicity stunt, sure to lock him the spot for DA in the next election."

"Here's hoping."

"Ahem."

"And there's the man of the hour." Trent smiled

"Trent Wayne, glad you could be here tonight my friend."

"Yes, why wouldn't I support not only a good friend but Gotham's greatest District Attorney ever?"

"Oh, you're too much."

"So gentlemen, riddle me this." HA "What is the deal with the Batman?" Trent asked

"You mean the greatest thing since sliced bread? Amazing, but sure can move for just one guy."

"I dunno Mayor, I think Gordon has like a SWAT team of them and isn't telling us."

"So Al, where is this girl I hear you've been dating." Trent asked quickly changing the subject.

"Ah yes, Isabelle Lillian Isley, alas she is away on business in the Amazon, shes a successful botanist you know. Hey, you should join us on a date sometime Trent."

"Yes, I would like that very much."

"You know gentlemen I think-[pow]"

Hill couldn't get a word in edgewise, when the elevator door swung open and puffs of smoke filled the room. Suddenly Joker and his two goons (now masked with clown faces) entered the floor.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, we are the entertainment tonight AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Joker laughed maniacally. Trent, Bridgette and Cody quickly ran to find a place to change.

"Now, where is the man of the year-where is Alejandro Dent? Have you seen Al, you know who he is, no; well why wouldn't you, after all it is his special night ha-ha." Joker threw a shrimp in his mouth.

"Oh my God, this is good shrimp, has anyone tried the shrimp, uh Rocco, shrimp?"

"Uh, no thanks boss."

"Oh but why not, it's...to die for-nah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. I'll ask again, where...is...Ale-"

"Right here creeper!" Alejandro appeared behind him, flipping his coin, the crowd gasped.

"Oh, there you are Mr. Dent, and it's Joker, not creeper, I'm the Clown Prince of Crime, but Joker works all the same, here's my card-[shwing]" he tossed a sharp edged Joker card into a column just missing Alejandro's head.

"Well you wanted me, now you have me."

"Good, cause i-"

"Not today Joker." Batgirl appeared from behind him. The crowd started to whisper

"You...you with old Batzy at the plant last night, uh Batgirl was it?"

"That's me."

"Well then missy-"

"Whoa." she gasped when Joker grabbed her, and put a knife to her lips

"Back off Jo-whoa-[thud]" Rocco threw Chris who tried to defend the superhero who was actually his daughter.

"Can pops, some people are so rude. Now where were we, oh yeah." Joker began "You wanna know how I got these scars?" This isn't the right one for the scene but, whatever "My was father, was...a drinker...and a fiend. And one night, he goes off crazier then usual, mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself...he doesn't like that...not...one...bit, so; me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it...he turns to me, he says, why so serious? Comes at me with the knife, why so serious? He sticks the blade in my mouth, let's put a smile on that face aaaaaaaand...why so serious-oof!" Batgirl kicked him away just in time

"Oh-ho, a little fight in you, I like that."

"Then you're gonna love me-[pow]" Batmam punched Joker right into the table

"Oh, you, finally, and Robin, well, the gangs all here, ha-ha-ha." Joker chuckled. "So, let's get this party started!" he fired several bombs filled with his patented laughing gas. People in the crowd started to laugh uncontrollably.

"Nice isn't it...of my own design. Try to get them out of that one while-I."

"Whoa, hey!" joker grabbed Batgirl, and held her out the window, she was a little stunned to say the least.

"Let her go." Batman ordered

"Very poor choice of words. Aha-ha-HA-Ha-HA!" he dropped her off the balcony.

"No!" [peoosh]

"What? But, but you...you should be sidewalk stroganoff!" he noticed Batgirl fly back in via her batling hook.

"Rocco, Hens-" he noticed Robin had already subdued them

"I was always good at knot tying."

"Ugh, if you want something done right." he raised his gun...do it yourself!"

"Robin look out-[poosh]" joker fired his gas bomb at Robin, direct hit.

"Ha-ha-ha, aha-HA-HA-Ha-HA-HA-ha-ha!"

"You!" Batman yelled

"Me?"

"Batgirl, see to him and the others!"

"Yes sir!"

"Ooh, another fight scene, I must say Bat-Boy, you're quite the ballsy one ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Can it Joker."

"Oh, hush, why don't you!" he threw another bomb, but missed "Uh-oh." Batman grabbed him by the collar, and threw him across the refreshments table. "Ahhhhhhhh-[crash]" he hit the ice statue of Alejandro.

"Talk about hitting the iceberg." Joker passed out.

After 30 minutes of applying antidotes to everyone, the batman and company turned the unconscious joker and his goons in.

"Well, looks like this town has a new clown to worry about." Chris stated.

"Yes well, something tells me Joker will be a most annoying adversary." Batman squinted

"How do you figure."

"He's smart, and has a vendetta against me...believe me when I say this, he'' stop at nothing till he gets rid of me."

In the ambulance to take him to Arkham, Joker opened his eyes and let out a few laughs.

"Hah-hah-hah-ah-ah-ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-hahaha!"

**The End**

**PLEASE REVIEW! Next up, Pretty Poison! [Don't worry Courtney will be in that one, I meant for her and Chef to be here, but...I clearly forgot up until now, my oopsie!]**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Robin

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr.: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Drew Nelson: **Joker

**John DiMaggio: **Rocco

**Mark Hamill: **Henshaw, various

**Scott McCord: **Penguin

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill

**Marco Garzzini: **Alejandro Dent, various

Tune in next time, buh-byeeeee!


	6. Pretty Poison, Part I

**Villain: Poison Ivy**

**Episode rewrite: Pretty Poison (1992)**

**Written by: Paul Dini, Michael Reaves **

**Directed by: Boyd Kirkland**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 3: Pretty Poison**

**5 years ago...**

On the land to be Stonegate Penitentiary, a woman digs up a few flowers and places them in a pot, while Mayor Hill stood on a stage talking to the press.

"People of Gotham, it is with great civic pride that we break ground of the new Gotham Penitentiary, funded by the Wayne Foundation." everyone clapped for Trent. "Now this project was the dream of one man, and he's with us here today, Gotham's new District Attorney, Alejandro Dent." an applause rang out as Al approached the mic stand.

"From this field of weeds and wild flowers will grow a new institution to build a better safer Gotham." Al and Trent broke ground and the town cheered...but someone wasn't so happy about the new project...

**Present Day...A Better, safer Gotham...NOT**

The prison alarms sounded, someone was trying to break out by the prison yard. A helicopter landed to pick him up.

"Get me out of here!" he ordered. The helicopter took to the sky.

Meanwhile at Gotham PD, Commissioner Gordon received the call.

"This is Gordon." Chris answered "What!" he grabbed his coat and headed from his office "There's been a prison escape by air, the chopper's heading this way, come on!" he yelled.

Several police officers, as well as Bullock and their latest detective, Courtney Montoya joined the pursuit. Bullock of course sneaked back at the last possible second for a doughnut.

The chopper was heading passed the busy downtown area.

"Ha-ha, were nearly home free." the prisoner said -[BANG] "What was that?"

"Just some turbulence." The pilot assured him...

Yeah, turbulence alright. It was none other than the Batman latching on to the helicopter by Batling hook.

While down below at the famous Rose Cafe, Alejandro Dent was on a date with his new ladt friend, a devilishly beautiful redhead named Isabelle Lillian Isley...or Izzy.

"For la monsieur escargot, and for madame la Cesar salad." the The French waiter handed them their foods.

"Thank you Andre, I'm starving, lets eat." he said. Izzy took a rose from the centerpiece and gave it a good whiff.

"Shouldn't we wait for your friend?" she asked

"Trent? No he's always late, he probably got hung up on business."

Yeah business...Batman managed to hook the chopper on the tower top of a building, it swung down and landed right on the nose. The pilot was unconscious.

"Aw crap." The prisoner jumped from the wreckage and onto the wrap around balcony, jutting just off of the building...36 stories high. He grabbed an L-pipe sitting there for some reason, and sprinted cross the balcony, Batman at his heels.

"I hear he's rich." Izzy added

"Yeah, Trent runs around with a very high class crowd." Al added

The Prisoner sprinted across the very high up balcony only to have Batman toss him down. He quickly reversed the situation.

"But he still manages to get his kicks." Al chuckled

Batman kicked the prisoner off of him, just avoiding a pipe massage.

"There is nothing we don't know about each other." Alejandro assured his date.

Batman grabbed the creep by his collar.

"Who...who are you?"

"I'm your worst nightmare!" Suddenly the police chopper appeared

"Yo this is the police! Nobody move!" Chef ordered from the chopper. Batman left the prisoner to pass out on the stone balcony.

"I think you'll like him." Al said

"If he's your friend, I know I will."

"H-he, he..he had...big wings!" the prisoner stammered

"Yeah-yeah big wings, move it along pal." Courtney ordered.

Batman sped home in the batmobile, he made a quick call to home.

"Alfred I'm running a little behind schedule."

"I've alerted Mr. Dent sir, he and Ms. Isley patiently await your arrival at the Rose Cafe."

"Ooh I love that place, great food."

"In my humble opinion sir, it's exquisite." Alfred added. Batman pulled into the Bat-Cave where Alfred was already waiting for him.

"I'll be taking the Corvette this evening." he informed his butler.

"As I had anticipated sir, it is idling out front with a full tank of gas." Alfred informed him.

Trent quickly got into some less-Batman clothes, and headed for his very stylish sports car.

"Might I recommend the trout almondeen sir?" Alfred suggested.

"I'll give it a try Alfred."

"Wise decision sir, bon appetite."

And to cutscene a perhaps boring joke conversation, here's Trent.

"You should have seen Al's face." the three laughed...one may have been acting...and it might not have been Izzy.

"Oh my look at the time, I have to run." she said

"So soon?" Al asked

"I'm sorry Al but I have an early meeting tomorrow, you stay."

"Noooo." he cooed

"Oh I insist, spend some time with your crazy friend." she grabbed his face...seductively "And call me the minute you get home, Mr. Disrtict Attorney." She then proceeded to go for the kill, literally, with a big old smooch which lasted for...What's Bridgette's and Geoff's average?

Anyway she released, finally.

"I'll...I'll call ya." No you won't. And with that, Izzy walked away. "So, what do you think?"

"So, does she have a sister?" Trent asked

"Nope, Iz is one of a kind, that's why I asked her to marry me." Cue spit take

[spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!] "What!"

"Yup, it's the page one headline...oh, did it just get warm in here?" Alejandro asked loosening his tie.

"You're still flushed from that last kiss, Al; you just met her a couple of weeks ago." Trent persuaded

"And I already know shes the one for me...geez, it's hot in here!"

"Marriage is a big step Al." Yeah, you would know "Don't you think you're rushing it?"

"No way, the second I laid eyes on Izzy, the love hit me right in the face." and so will the mousse. Speaking of which, Al fell right into his.

"Ha-ha, come on Al you've lost your mind..." he didn't wake up. "Al, Alejandro!"

An ambulance came for the poor DA.

"It's alright Alejandro, the doc'll fix you right up." Trent said right before they loaded him in.

And back at Gotham PD Chris would get yet another call.

"This is Gordon, WHAT!" he rushed back into the offices "Alejandro Dent is in a coma at the medical center, come on!" They rushed to the scene, Chef went back for yet another doughnut.

"We need a pulse here, does he have a pulse!" a nurse asked

"Isn't that the District Attorney?"

"Get him into OR ICU number 3 stat!" The doctor ordered. The police and Trent waited outside the OR for the doctor's diagnosis

"What happened doctor, heart attack?" Chris asked

"No Commissioner, I'm afraid Mr. Dent has been poisoned."

"Oh my God...Bullock, get down to that restaurant! Oh, what's it called Wayne?"

"The Rose Cafe."

"The Rose Cafe, and find out who did this!" Chris ordered

"With pleasure." Chef ran down the hall.

"Montoya I want police guards here round the clock!"

"Yes sir!" Courtney accepted the order.

Trent was a tad skeptical so he went into the doctor's lab, who was scanning a sample of Al's blood on a microscope slide.

"Hey doc, are we talking about food poisoning here?"

"I wish, this is the most virulent strain of poison I've ever come across in all my years of medical research, were doing everything we can Mr. Wayne." he assured the billionaire CEO.

But Trent had other ideas to work this out HIS way, he grabbed the slide once the doctor left and placed it in his coat pocket. It was time for Batman to intervene.

Where meanwhile somewhere, someone just cut a rose from a flowerpot...with the newspaper clipping of the Stonegate ground breaking on a bulletin board above it.

**Alright, part II is going to be a little longer, and include Batgirl. So Please Review and I'll update the dramatic finally asap! Bysieeeeeeeeeees!**


	7. Pretty Poison, Part II

**Part II coming atcha!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! Love you! Sorta, no homo  
**

First we cutscene to the interrogation room at Gotham Central PD, where Chef was doing a less then impressive job getting answers from the restaurant staff.

"So what've ya put in this mousse?"

"Sugar, chocolate, eggs, crème."

"Strychnine?" Chef asked getting right in his face

"No, no, no strychnine, but I added just a pinch of vinegar."

"You know who did it talk!" Bullock moved onto one of the waiters.

"Hey hey-look I just clean the dishes okay?"

Now back to the Batcave, Batman and Alfred used the sample at the hospital to isolate the toxin.

"Alright, it seems we've isolated the toxin Alfred." I already said that!

"Indeed we have sir." Alfred read out the results "It is a lethal poison derived from an extract of the plant roses-seeives Belarus, better known as the wild thorny rose."

"I'll get a sample from the Gotham Botanical Gardens so we can whip up an antidote." Batman got up from his chair.

"Oh I'm afraid this is unfeasible."

Why?"

"Because the wild thorny rose has been extinct for nearly five years, so that means-"

"There's no antidote, great." Batman groaned. He checked the computer just to be sure only to discover it was in fact extinct.

Meanwhile at that undisclosed location our mysterious gardener clips one of the roses from the flower pot.

Trent had visited Al the next day. No visitors were allowed to see him so he just looked through the glass window.

"Come on, fight Alejandro." he whispered. Izzy appeared from the elevator, acting ever so well

"Oh Trent, I came as soon as I got your call, how is he?"

"Were not sure."

"...I...wanna see him?" yeah finish the job no doubt.

"Sorry ma'am no visitors, Commissioner Gordon's orders." Courtney said, who was guarding the door. Izzy started to cry...drama queen.

"You should try and get some sleep, come on I'll walk you to your car." Trent tried to comfort her. Yeah buddy...

Izzy finally slowed down the water works a little bit when they got to her car. A Prius. Figures...Trent opened her door, being the gentleman he was.

"Promise to call me if there's any change."

"I will, you get some rest." Trent cooed

"Oh, Al's so lucky to have a good friend like you." she gave him big hug.

That's when Trent realized about the kiss from last night, it was the last abnormal thing Al did before he blacked out, it was too much of a coincidence.

"Goodnight Trent."

"Goodnight Iz."

He drove home, and called Bridgette Gordon.

"_Hello?"_

"Bridge, it's Trent, I want you at the cave pronto, and while you're there, I want you to dig up everything you can on Isabelle Lillian Isley, where's been, what shes done, the works."

"_Consider it done Mr. Business man."_

Trent entered the Bat-cave to see Batgirl had already gotten to work.

"Well Bridge, what do ya got?"

"I know Izzy has a degree in botany from Gotham State University, shes a research chemist for Hilfiger their latest pefume is night-shade.

"At Gotham State she also gives lectures to students on rare and endangered plant species."

"Hmm, I think Alejandro's engagement is off." Batman said suiting up his cowl. "Come on."

The two drove out to her place. Attached to her house, an even larger green house. The two scaled the green house and looked through the skylight. She had many flood lights to act as an artificial sun...Not to mention an entire forest."

"Come on." the two sneaked down to the floor, where the botanist was tending to the very last sample ever of the thorny rose. And yes, she was talking to it.

"Don't worry precious, I won't clip off anymore of your beautiful petals...unless I need them." she then turned the lights off.

"She started a surround sound radio which played soothing new age music crap to help the plants grow faster. Though this episode took place in 1992 originally, Mythbusters later concluded this is in fact plausible.

She walked to a changing are and slipped into something more...Poison Ivy-y. Whiel thr crime fighter sneaked towards her, the activated a trap door.

"Gasp!" Batgirl grabbed onto Batman, who grabbed onto a hanging vine...

Attached to that was a giant fly trap lily, that attached more vines to the crime fighters and pulled them closer to it's oversized mouth. They struggled profusely. Ivy heard the ruckus and approached the duo.

"Oh, what has my sweet fly trap caught this time?" yeah, sweet sure "Hmm, a little big for flies." she turned on the lights "Ha-ha-ha, Batman, and Batgirl, a late night rendezvous, to what do I owe the honor?"

"Ugh...Alejandro...Dent." Batman struggled.

"Oh the poor district attorney, I hear he's not going to make it...oh, it's so sad, ah-ah-aha-aha-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah." her fake tears quickly turned into an evil laugh...screwballs.

Oh by the by, here's her outfit. Much like the redesign leafy revealing one piece from the late 90's, along with the leafy shoes, and a leafy eye covering mask. Don't fret, I brought back the bad-ass wrist crossbow.

"But why Isley?" Batgirl asked

"Oh please, call me Poison Izzy...er Ivy...huh, Ivy...Izzy, yeah Ivy works, call me Poison Ivy. You see, Al had to pay for his crime?"

"Er-what, crime?" Batman asked

"Yeah he's the DA?"

"Why, murder of course, killing off a field of beautiful roses to make that stupid penitentiary of his. This little rose would be extinct today if I hadn't saved my precious from those horrible bulldozers!" Screwballs... "The blood of those flowers are on his hands! Errrgh!" okay now shes just completely lost it. She regained...what was left of her composure. "So his fate was sealed." she got out a tube containing the toxic lipstick "With a kiss." she applied it "And now so is yours."

"No wait!"

She gave Batman a big old wet, Bridgette and Geoff smooch. Batman quickly spit out the posion but it was too late, he started to feel woozy. Ivy turned to Batgirl.

"Oh no, no-no-no-no, don't you even da-" YEAH BUDDDDDDYYY! Batgirl quickly spit out the poison dyke slobber inside of her mouth.

"Oh what's wrong, afraid I have cooties, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Ew, gross, girl kiss, ew."

"Aw, you've gone and hurt my feelings...too bad." she grabbed a small purple bottle from inside her leafy glove. "Cause I was going to share the antidote with you." she applied it to herself, and let the two tipsy crime fighters have a whiff which would keep them awake...for now.

"Enchanting is it not, I call it, rose from the dead." Appropriate...

Batman kicked her aside and threw his legs up locking them onto the water irrigation pipes above.

"Batgirl wrap your legs!"

"On it!" The fly trap pulled them closer. Batman managed to grab his small pocket knife and jabbed it into the vines, which bled a green milky substance-ha-ha, gross.

The plant released as it began to die. The two fell forward right in front of Ivy.

"NOOOOOOO!" she yelled. She readied her bad ass wrist crossbow, thingy. "Murderer!" she aimed right for Batgirl, who ducked just in time for the arrow to penetrate right into the dying fly trap.

"NOOOOOO!" Oh they're plants, GET OVER IT!

She started to fire at the dodging crusaders. They ducked behind a tree. They kept getting hazier, and hazier. Batman grabbed his fading sidekick and fired a batling hook to the light, and tossed a batarang Ivy's way. The flew up towards the light.

It couldn't support their weight and it fell into a little pool, setting sparks all over the place, which set the foliage ablaze...close your ears now.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Ivy ran for the rose, the only thing she had left, she tried to find a way out, and nearly got struck by a falling branch, where of course, Batman saved her just in time.

Batman and Batgirl were clinging on to the floor a they were over the trap door. Ivy, angry stood up and loaded one last arrow. The two could barley stay awake and began to get weak.

"Enjoy extinction Bat-Freaks!" hey, that's Bullock's line.

"Were not...going...alone." Batman held up the plant

"What, no!"

"The bottle, for the weed." Well, that didn't sound right. "Your choice." Ivy was nearly out of options, the fire consumed nearly everything.

She dropped the bottle, the two staggered to their feet and applied some much needed antidote.

"My baby, my precious baby!" Yup, shes having a plant-gasm.

"Come on, this way!" Batgirl had found an exit, the three were able to run through. "Whew, we made it!"

"We sure did." Batman added, Ivy fell to her knees.

"My pretty baby."

Now we cutscene back to Al's room, where he was just waking up from his coma. An unknown persons came late last night to give some life. Al was joined by Trent, Chef, and Chris.

"Where...where am I?" he asked

"You're in the hospital." Trent said

"Ya passed out into your chocolate mousse." Chef added

"But don't worry, you're gonna be fine." Chris assured the DA. Trent took Al's temp...the not gay way.

"Now Al about your engagement to Isabelle Isley, were good friends right?"

"Mhmm."

"I have to be honest with you don't I?"

"Mhmm."

"Okay then, I think Izzy is wrong for you."

"Hmm?"

To finish us off, we go to Stonegate Prison where Izzy would hopefully spend the next 50 years...NOT, she approached her precious plant in her cell. Those pinheads let her have it?

"They can bury me in the ground...as deep as they like...but I'll grow back...we always grow back...won't we baby?" If you watch the actual episode her eyes twitch a little at the very end.

**THE END! Tune in next time for our next installment, Mad Love.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr.: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Katie Crown: **Poison Ivy

**Emilie Clare-Barlow: **Courtney Montoya

**Kevin Michael Richardson: **prisoner

**Rob Paulsen: **Cafe chef

**Neil Ross: **waiter, various

**Billy West: **chopper pilot, various police

**Kevin Conroy:** Mayor Hill, various press and police

**Peace y'all!**


	8. Mad Love, Part I

**Villain(s): Joker&Harley Quinn**

**Episode Counterpart: Mad Love (1999)**

**Written by: Paul Dini (Story by:) Paul Dini, Bruce W. Timm**

**Directed by: Butch Lukic**

**PLEASE REVIEW! Pretty please...  
**

**Episode 4: Mad Love**

Commissioner Gordon mumbled and groaned as he staggered into the dentists office. Dr. Jo Ker DDS...yeah cause that's not suspicious at all. The so called dentist was washing his hands.

"Have a seat I'll be right with you."

"I don't mind saying I think these checkups are a complete waste of time, if it weren't part of the police physical, I wouldn't be here." Chris insisted.

"Oh come now Commissioner, what in this miserable world is more beautiful...Then a nice big smile, AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Joker revealed himself holding a drill

"Gasp! You!" Chris reached for his gun [pop] "What!" A bullet hit the commissioner, which exploded into streamers which tied him up upon expanding, he was tied to the chair.

"Naughty, naughty, jump around like that and the doctor won't give you a lollipop." a girl said in a rather ditzy obnoxious voice.

She was slender, gorgeous, and HOT! Wearing a black and red tight harlequin outfit. Her face pale, with 20 pounds of make up, and a black eye covering mask, she also wore a jester crown matching the outfit.

Dr. Lindsay Quinzel...Better known as Harley Quinn.

Joker and Harley examined Chris's mouth...for like 2 seconds

"Hmm, tsk, tsk, tsk, my my, this isn't good at all."

"Your diagnosis Dr. J?" she asked

"Well poo I'm afraid...Everything will have to go, aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" The drill got closer to his forehead...which is sad cause it's a dentist's office.

[Ker-crash!] Batman broke through the window

"Every freakin time!" Joker fumed

"It was an easy hint joker." Batman held up a pair of novelty teeth "Sloppy, predictable, don't tell me you're already losing your edge."

"S'cuse me, but the teeth were my idea, so's this!" Harly blasted Batman with some knockout gas

"No, -cough cough]-gas, unh." he passed out

"Ha-ha, that's a real 'gaser', huh Mistah J?" she chuckled. Angry, Joker, grabbed Harley by the bells.

"Never forget, I give the punchlines around here, got it!"

"Yes sir." she said faintly. Joker grabbed the gas canister and looked at the commissioner.

"You little-unh." he knocked him out.

"Now then, Harley, move these incompetent boobs to our new hideout, on the double."

"Yes sir Mistah J."

. . .

"Unh...ugh, uh-huh, wha?" Batman awoke to find himself hanging chained over a very large vat of something, he was in a warehouse.

Tied to his back was Chris.

"Ugh, what happened?"

"Commissioner?"

"Batman?"

"Joker-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"And Harley too."

"Ugh, and Harley too, jeesh, so Bats and Commish' G, I'm sure you're wondering where you are right now?"

"Not really." Chris groaned

"Were at the Ace Chemical pant where you became Joker." Ah, the detective strikes again

"Yes, how did you know?" Joker asked

"Well the giant vats of chemicals, plus this being an ironic vendetta were a dead giveaway...plus, I can see the window with the giant letters "Ace Chemical Plant" right outside."

"Oh-ho, what a comedian." Joker chuckled "So before I cap off our little feud with your ultimate demise, how about I tell you where I met this little gem." he cupped Harley's chin.

"EEEEEEE." she squeeled happily. "I was smitten with love at first sight you see, why don't I tell the story puddin'."

"Puddin?" Chris and Batman raised an eyebrow

"Ugh, don't get me started it's just this little pet name she has for me-okay Harls, tell our, captive audience you're little story, heh-heh."

"Okay, well it goes a little something like this..."

_Yay, Flashback!_

_Okay, so a few months back I was an intern at Arkham Asylum, I was so jazzed I could just plotz! _(It was always intended that Harleen Quinzel was in fact Jewish-Catholic...man what a contradiction) _I was actually this boring old psychiatrist-anyway, I met Dr. Leland._

"_Lindsay Quinzel, I'm Joan Leland."_

"_Hi Joan call me Harley everyone does." my voice was also a little different._

"_I was surprised to see such a well organized person like yourself wanting to intern here at Arkham."_

"_Well I always had this attraction for extreme cases, their more unique, more unusual-"_

"_And more high profile." Rude much_

"_You can't deny there's an element of glamor to these super criminals."_

"_I'll warn you right now, these are hardcore psychotics, if you think you can cash in on them by writing some tell-all book, think again." That's when I saw my puddin in his cell for the first time, eeeee, he gave me a wink. _

"_They'd eat a novice like you for breakfast."_

_Later, I waled into my office, and on my desk was a flower in a vase, a card was attatched to it, and on that card it read-_

_'Come down and see me some time'_

_-J._

_Later, feeling tough I walked over to his cell, he's so smug I just love it. _

"_Care to tell me how this got in my office?"_

"_I put it there."_

"_I think the guards would love to know you've been out of your cell."_

"_If you were going to tell them you already would have-ya know sweets, I like what I've heard about you."_

"_Oh really?"_

"_Yes, especially the name, Harley Quinzel, rework a bit, and ya get Harley Quinn, just like-"_

"_Like the clown character Harlequin, I know; I've heard it before." I started to walk away. _

"_It's a name that really puts a smile on my face...it makes me think I finally have someone to relate to, someone who would love to know all my secrets." _Hook, line, dumbass.

_It took some time but I finally managed to set up a session with him. I studied all his tricks and gimmicks and thought I was ready for anything._

"_Ya know...my father used to beat me up pretty badly."_

_Anything except that._

"_Every time I got out of line-bam, or sometimes I would be, just; sitting there-pow! Pops tended to fvor the grape you see. Oh there was only one time I ever saw dad really happy, he took me to the circus when I was seven, oh I still remember the clowns running around, dropping their pants-ha-ha, my old man laughed so hard, I thought he'd bust a gut, so the very next night as he staggered in from the bar I ran up to greet him with his best Sunday pants around my ankles-Hey dad, look at me-swoop-I took a big pratfall and tore the crotch clean out of his pants! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha._

_We shared a hearty laugh until-_

"_And then he broke my nose...but hey, that's the downside of comedy, you're always taking shots from folks who-just don't get the joke, like my dad, or Batman."_

_It was clear to me that the joker, taken for a creepy psychopath was just a tortured soul crying out for affection and exception at his antics..._

_And there as always was the self righteous Batman, determined to make life miserable for my angel! Yes I admit it, as unprofessional as it may seem, I had fallen in love with my patient...pretty crazy huh?"_

"_Not at all, as a young career oriented young woman you felt the need to abstain from all things fun, was only natural you found someone who could make you feel happy again."_

"_I knew you'd understand!"_

"_Anytime Harl." _Now you'll notice he has her hooked cause now shes in the patient's chair and Joker's in the doctor's chair...Man what a ditz.

_Then there was that horrible week when he escaped._

"_They got him!"_

_I rushed through the crowd to see my angel, beaten, handcuffed, nearly passed out and being taken in by you B-man. _Who was in almost as bad of shape as Joker.

_You plopped him right in front of me and I gave you that evil glare...I think that's when I had, had enough._

_So I rushed over to the nearest novelty store, grabbed various items, including this nifty revolver. _Paul Dini's favorite toy...Thanks South Korea! _The mask, the Harley outfit and a few other things I...kinda stole, oh the clerk wasn't too happy...so I threw him through the window. _

_Anyway I drove back, suited up and snuck in...i was always a little stealthy. I knocked out several guards with a rubber shicken I had stuffed with a brick, and fired a can of sneeze powder down the hallway, then I used a homemade bomb to blast the cell door open._

"_Huh, what the?"_

"_Knock-knock puddin' say hello to your new and improved Harley Quinn!" _

_with careful precision we got through the Asylum...and by careful precision I mean we just slammed through the place. Then we drove through the gates, laughing all the way! It was a magical first date._

_And it seemed like we can be happy forever._

_K, Flashback over_

"And now we will be happy forever once I get rid of you and Chrissy over here!"

"You mean when I get rid of them both!"

"B-but Puddin' I don't understand, don't you wanna finally be rid of Batman?"

"Only if I do it idiot! This is my glory, my plan, MINE!" Joker fumed

"O-o-o-o-okay Mistah J." Harley cringed.

"Oh Harley, I could never stay mad at you forever, come on now my little princess, where's that smile?" he stretched her lips out "Oh, there it is."

"Hee-hee-hee." Harley giggled.

"Now, Commissioner, Batzy, any last words?"

**Next is Part II, PLEASE REVIEW!**

**And a message to you Cartoongal11, cause I KNOW you're reading, Update that new story of yours right away I love it...AND SET YOUR PRIVATE MESSAGING TO WORK JEEZ!**


	9. Mad Love, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW! Ah, you will  
**

"So Bats, Commissioner, any last words?" Joker asked

"Go to hell." Chris sneered

"Aw, Gordy, now you've gone and hurt my feelings."

"Naughty, naughty." Harley taunted

"How about you Batman? Anything you would like to share with the audience?"

Unbeknownst to Joker and Harley Batman had already cooked up a plan to get them both out of their little predicament.

"I got nothing to say to you, Joker."

"Ha, you just did!" Joker countered. "Well no matter, let's see how you two-"

"Uh, not to rain on your parade Joker, but; simply dropping us in this vat will simply turn us into another you...it won't kill us per-say."

"Oh...why my dear Commissioner-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-if only you knew what I did to these chemicals...now, let's mambo!" He lowered the chained duo very slowly, laughing obnoxiously.

"Uh, have a plan?" Chris asked

"More or less..."

"Not as reassuring as I wanted to hear, but; I'm sure you've gotten out of stickier situations, so; who am I to judge."

"Thanks Chris, now hang on."

Trent got a batarang from his belt, and managed to activate it. It was an explosive batarang, he tossed it in the air, which exploded.

"Duck!" Joker yelled, him and Harley ducked aside.

The shock wave from the blastrocked the chains and the two flipped out and missed the vat by that much, Batman launched a batling hook and pulled himself up to the catwalk. Whereas Chris hit the floor.

"Commissioner!"

"Down here Batman!"

"Ugh! Come on Harley!" Joker demanded.

"Chris split up!" Batman yelled

"No kidding!"

The two took to two different paths, Chris's being on the first floor, where Batman dashed to the upper offices on the second floor. Joker and Harley also went to several different directions to catch the two.

Chris made his way to the med center inside the facility, and found himself hiding behind an operator's table in the dark room. There were two windows and a double door each with windows that could be seen out in the hallway. Chris drew his gun.

"Come on clown, come on...gimme a reason."

Sure enough Joker was walking by, Chris saw him through the walls. More sure enough Joker barged into the room.

"Oh commissioner...come out and plaaaaaaay." Duncan is just so perfect for this role, wouldn't you agree?

"Freeze Napier!"

"Oh my poor deluded commissioner...Duncan Napier is gone...he's gone, it's Joker now."

"You diseased maniac! I'll drill you!" Ha, that's what she said

"If you were really gonna shoot me you already would have." he took out a Mac 11 from his coat. "Now me on the other hand."

"I'll do it!"

Joker approached and fired a little to the side

-WARNING HEATH LEDGER CONTENT-

"Come on-I want you to do it, I want you to do it, I want you to do it-[bang bang bang bang bang]-come on you won't do it, you won't, come on, hit me, Hit Me, HIT MEEEE!"

[bang bang bang bang bang]

-IT'S OVER-

Joker managed to dodge Chris's frantic and haphazard assault.

"[clap...clap...clap]-You finished?"

"S-s-s-so-sorta?"

"Good...good, now to find the bat, heh-heh-heh-hah-hah-hah-hah—ah-ah-ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Alright now for something more like this chapter's counterpart.

Batman found himself on the seventh floor offices, thinking Harley was looking for him...but it seemed like Batman would be looking for Harley.

"I know you're in here Quinn..."

"How did you know I was in here?" she asked from behind cover

"I smelled you're perfume from earlier in the dentists office...it smells the same from the scent in this room...and, you just said you were."

"Ohhhhhhh."

"Give it up Lindsay-"

"That's Harley, Harley Quinn! Why can't anyone get that!" She jumped from her cover and kicked Batman right in the gut. He moved back an inch or two.

"Wake up you, listen to me; you're confused, Joker messed with you, he's manipulating you!" Harley drew her streamer firing gun.

"No, he loves me...which is far more than what I can say for you-[bang]"

"ERGH!" the streamers tied his arms to his torso, [bang] she fired again at his feet, Batman fell to the floor.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." she loaded an actual bullet...this one explodes.

"Lemme guess, an exploding bullet?" Batman asked like this SH*T DON'T PHASE HIM

"Hmm-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm, how did you know?"

"Eh-lucky guess."

"Well B-Man it was nice knowing but, all good things must have their end...but mine is just beginning, you see." Oh great shes gonna rant "There comes a time when a gal just wants a little more, and now all this gal wants to do is settle down with her new loving sweetheart?"

"Wait, you...and the Joker?"

"Righterooney!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha...-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." Wait wait wait wait...Batman...LAUGHED!

"Is that your laugh...I-I don't think I like it."

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha."

"Cut it out! You're giving me the creeps!"

"You little fool, I haven't known Joker long, but what I do know is he doesn't care for anyone or anything but himself."

"N-n-n-no, y-you're wrong, he told me things, secret things he never told anyone!" Harley cried

"Hmm, was it the lie about the abusive father...perhaps the runaway mom, oh he get's a lot of sympathy with that one."

"NO, SHUT-UP!" Oh hear that kids? That's the sound of her snapping.

"What was that line he told that one parole officer...oh yes, there was only one time I ever saw dad really happy, he took me to the ice show when I was seven."

"Circus, he said it was the circus." Harley frowned

"He's got a million of them Harley."

"But he...you, NO! I'm through with you, I'm gonna kill you, and then you're gonna die and make everything right!" Tears streamed down her eyes.

"Go ahead then, he'll never believe you-"

"HARLEY!" Joker stormed into the room dragging Chris who was knocked out.

"Hi Puddin' you're just in time to witness the final demise of Bat-[SMACK]" Joker bitch slapped her to the floor.

"S'cuse me Bats I'll be just a moment." he walked back towards Harley "What did I tell you earlier Harley...?"

"Um...um...don't-"

"Don't kill Batman he's mine!" Joker fumed "But you clearly ignored me..."

"N-n-now calm down puddin'..." Joker got closer.

"You've clearly forgotten what I told you...One of the painful truth's of comedy, you're always taking shots from folks who just don't get the JOKE-[CRASH]" and with that he pushed Harley out the window, who fell five stories to certain death...she survived, landing in a pile of collapsed boxes and other garbage...gross.

"M-my fault...I-I didn't get the joke."

"You know Bats I really must apologize for the kid, no respect for the old...ways?" he saw that Batman had broken free. "Oh no..."

"She almost had me you you know."

"Huh?"

"Arms and legs tied, a gun to my head, I had no way out then waiting for you to show up Joker, I knew your massive ego would never allow anyone else the honor of anyone killing me, though I must admit, she came a lot closer than you ever did...puddin'" Oh you're smug.

"Errrrrrr-ahhhhhhhhhh!" Joker lunged, Batman stepped out of the way and Joker fell out of the same window.

"What the?" Batman noticed joker fly to the window...on a jet pack.

"Made ya look, nah-nah-ne-nah-nah!"

"Er-UGH!" he tossed a batarang at the jet pack. Which caused it to go bizerk!

"Oh no-AHHHHHHHHH!" Joker flew all over the place until he fell into a smoke stack of a nearby factory.

"Well, looks like this will be the last we'll ever see of Joker." NOT. Anyway Chris came to.

"Unh...twice in one day."

"You okay Chris?"

"I've felt worse...where...where's Joker?" he asked

"With any luck, gone."

"And Quinn?"

"I don't know, I think we should call an ambulance."

Meanwhile at Arkham and placed in her new cell and stitched up pretty good, Lindsay will now monologue her experience...blah blah, blah.

"_Well it was fun while it lasted...but I learned my lesson...no more craziness...no more Joker, I see now that he is just a murderous, insane, heartless, unforgivable..._

Harley noticed another rose on her sink, and a card that read

'Get better soon, love you'

-J

"_...Angel." _ah, she'll never learn...well maybe...just maybe.

**THE END!  
**

**Alright, PLEASE REVIEW! And tune in next time for Cold As, Well; You Get the Idea**

**And for Cartoongal11 UPDATEEEEEEEE! PLEASE!**

**_Starring..._**

**_Scott McCord: _Batman_  
_**

**Christian Potenza: Chris Gordon  
**

**_Guest Starring..._**

**Drew Nelson: Joker  
**

**Stephanie Ann Mills: Harley Quinn  
**

**Suzanne Stone: Dr. Joan Leland  
**


	10. Cold As Well You Get the Idea, Part I

**Villain: Mr. Freeze**

**Episode counterpart: Heart of Ice (1992)**

**Written by: Paul Dini**

**Directed by: Bruce W. Timm**

**Episode 5: Cold As, Well...You Get The Idea**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

In some lair a guy wearing a robotic ensemble with a glass dome head. Inside the dome...ha-ha, was a pale blue face, with icy cold hair...and a frozen head band.

His name...was, Tyler Fries...He prefers the title, Mr. Freeze.

In one of his frozen robot hands held a snow globe with a dancing blonde figure skater woman in the middle.

"This is how I will always remember you, frozen in time, perfectly preserved...one day soon my love, the monster who did this to you will soon learn revenge...is a dish...best served cold." He's another one who you can puns about all day.

_Even in the midst of one of the coldest Augusts on record, Gotham has hit a rather eerie rash of "cold" crimes, all of which items have been looted from various GothCorp facilities." _News reporter Summer Gleeson said. _"GothCorp CEO Ferris Boyle had this to say-"_

"_I don't know what this person has against gothCorp, we have always seen ourselves as the People Company, if this man has a problem...were willing to listen."_

_Strong words from GothCorp, The People Company."_

Robin and Batman watched the news from the Batcave a long with Alfred.

"Oh my, cold crimes...Master Trent your rogues gallery gets stranger and stranger everyday." Alfred pondered

"I know, but look at this, the items stolen from the GothCorp facilities don't look too harmful separately...but together..." the computer connected the pieces

"Good lord."

"A giant...ray gun?" Robin asked

"A cold fusion ray gun." Batman corrected. "According to the computer, only one element is missing, and only GothCorp facility has it."

"You think that's where he'll go next?"

"Gee I don't know Robin, let's look at the other 0 GothCorp facilities-"

"Alright I get it, let's go."

"Sarcasm Master Trent?"

"You know it Alfred."

An armored Truck crashed through the gates of the compound of the Gothcorp facility. Unbeknowest to them Batman and Robin were already waiting for them in the Batmobile. And gave chase.

"Uh sir?"

"Eyes on the road Smythe, I'll take care of them." Mr. Freeze insisted. He pointed his patented freeze-everything-gun at the road which froze it solid. Making the batmobile slip and eventually collide into a fence

[CRASH]

Yeah kinda like that.

"Typical."

"Come on Robin!" They ran after Freeze and his men, already inside the facility.

"What are we looking for boss?"

"A neuron Flux Capacitor Smythe, I know what it looks like, just keep moving boxes!"

"Yes sir!"

"Come on, come on, where are you...aha! Found it! Here it is fellas, put in the van, hurry; you never know who will show up!" Freeze ordered

"Yeah, like us!" Robin shouted

"Oh great, keep moving, I'll take care of these two."

"Freeze!" Batman yelled...ha-ha

"Oh, how ironic." Freeze fired just as batman tossed a batarang, which got frozen mid flight "This fight does not concern you, I have my own personal vendetta to worry about!"

"We can't just let you steal stuff for your own personal gain!" Robin yelled.

"He's right...now just-"

"What, be cool? Since you ally yourself with my enemies you realize this is now between us-[blast]"

"Ugh!" he froze Robin's feet to the floor.

"Robin!"

"D-d-di-don't w-worry ab-out m-m-m-me...j-j-j-jj-just get h-h-him."

With a nod Batman jumped and dodged every blast while at the same time trying to sabotage the robbery. Eventually Mr. Freeze lost his touch and blasted one of his own henchman's legs.

"Aw!"

"Johnny!"

"Oh, look what you made me do! [blast]

"Ugh!" One blast finally hit Batman's left arm. Temporarily immobilizing him.

"Oh well, I never could aim." he was never good at sports. "Come on, we got what we came for."

"But what about Johnny?"

"Leave him, it's his loss."

"But-"

"But Freeze!"

"Would you like to join him?" He fumed

. . .

"That's what I thought, now let's go!"

"No, wait, pp-p-p-p-please!" he begged

"As for you Batman, I'm so sorry to have left you...cold, let the record show that today you have been beaten by Mr. Freeze! Now let's go!" The truck backed out. With Batman giving him a mad glare.

Later back at the Bat-cave med lab, Batman had the henchman in a chemical bath to melt the ice on his legs, Alfred chizzled Robin and Batman out of their icy jams.

"Thanks Alfred." Cody said

"No problem master C-"

"AH-CHOO! [sniffle-sniffle]"

"Ooh, Batman has a cold?" Cody asked

"I guess-[sniffle]-must have been from-from...fr-AH-CHOO! Freeze."

"Yeah, but we need to be more careful, cause that gun of his seems to work very well."

"I know." The ice melted off the henchman's legs. "But I can't let this [sniffle] cold stop me, cause after Batman drops our little friend at police headquarters, Trent Wayne has an impromptu meeting with GothCorp CEO Ferris Boyle."

Let's cuscene to that, shall we? Trent met the aging yet clean cut CEO in his office

"Trent Wayne, how nice to see you again, come come have a seat, still the terror of the Gotham night scene?" More or less

"Eh, you could say that-[sniffle]-so, what's this I heard about someone trying to steal stuff from you guys?"

"Oh, well I'm not sure why anyone would want revenge on this great company, well..." Ferris began

"Well, what?"

"There was this one guy sometime back, a uh cryogenist, a real whack job if you know what I mean. Name was Tyler Fries, if I'm not mistaken."

"What happened?"

"He was wasting company money, MY money! On some stupid little experiment I clearly denied! There was a fight with the security, we lost him." Ferris calmed down a little. "Look Trent you're a CEO, I'm a CEO you know how stuff like this works, The People Company thing is great PR but when the wage slaves start acting like they own the place, it's time to start getting the ax...know what I mean?"

"Yeah...sure." Trent sneered.

"So, will you be attending the humanitarian's ball tomorrow for Gotham's Humanitarian of the Year? Cause guess whose winning?"

"Ugh, I feel ill."

"I'm sorry?"

"No I'm sorry Ferris, my cold, I'll uh, see if I can make it. And uh, congratulations on your award...I'm sure it's, well deserved."

"Thanks Trent, nice talking to you as always."

"Yes...you too."

Later the next evening Batman felt he was ready for Mr. Freeze.

"So you think this Freeze character, is the cryogenist Boyle was talking about?" Alfred asked

"Ah-choo-sniffle. Yup, I only wish I knew more." Batman scratched his chin. "So I'm going to Back to GothCorp during the humanitarian ball and see what I can dig up-[sniffle-sniffle]-I'm certain if I dig deep h I'll find...find somet-AH-CHOO!"

"God bless you."

"Thanks." Alfred handed him a handkerchief.

"Then I'll bring Mr. Freeze to justice."

"Than might I suggest this for help." Alfred handed him what looked like a thermos.

"Knockout gas?"

"Chicken soup, it's the only way to fight a cold."

"Thanks."

And to finish this up a little we cutscene now to the lair, where Freeze and his men were hastily building the device...Well, it was mostly the henchmen building it and Mr. Freeze "Supervising"

"Hurry up, the gala is tonight!"

"Were almost finished boss, just gotta tweak this...and, there!"

"Shes ready sir."

"Excellent, come, there's work to be done, but I need to scout the building first just to be safe. Wait for me until I get back." Freeze ordered

"Yes sir!"

**To be continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**And if this message reachs Cartoongal11...Update Update UPDATE! I love it i love it i love itttttttttttttttt!  
**


	11. Cold As Well You Get the Idea, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Batman had disguised himself as a security guard and sneaked into the camera room not far from the ball room. The current guard was half asleep and really wanted to either join the party, or simply go home.

"Ahem. Mr. Boyle sent me to replace ya, and for you to enjoy yourself at the party with his compliments."

"Really?"

"Ah-choo!" Trent sneezed

"You okay?"

"I'm fine, go; enjoy yourself." The guard left very happy.

However the dumbass left his keycard, perfect, Trent took the card and threw off his disguise. Batman entered the files room. He remembered the name Ferris had told him earlier, he searched the filing cabinets...

"Let's see, Frankfurt, Fraser, ah, here we are, Fries." in the file was a video tape. Yes, VHS; cause this episode was made in 1992, and I'd like to not deviate cause quite frankly...I just don't have the energy.

Batman popped the tape into the conveniently placed DVD/VCR player and TV, and watched. He saw Tyler in what looked like a lab, different camera angles popped the scene left and right, there was a cryogenic chamber behind him,with what looked like a beautiful young woman inside.

"_Hello, my name is Tyler Fries. What I may offer you may or may not change the world. What if I told you I could end disease worldwide, in the world of cryogenics? Such as you see behind me, my beloved wife Nora. I froze her, to keep a life threatening disease at bay, I only hope that-"_

"_Open this door right now! Open up!" _Came an angry voice of Ferris from right outside the door. Eventually, two guards and Ferris rushed in.

"_I thought I told you this was not authorized, shut it down now!" _he ordered a guard

"_No, you can't, if you stop the process now, it may kill her!"_

"_I don't care, you've wasted far too much of MY money, and MY time, so were shutting it down, this instant!"_

"_No!" Tyler noticed a revolver in one of the guard's holster. He picked it up, and angrily and sadly aimed it at Boyle "Nooooo!"_

"_Tyler, please, I-I lost my temper, that's all, it doesn't have to come to this...grunt!" [pop-crash-bang-fizz] _He kicked Tyler into a table with a lot of cold chemicals.

"_Quick, let's get out of here!" _Ferris ordered his men

"_No, Nora...NORRRRA!" _

The video ended, Batman stood in shock.

"Yes, a true tragedy, it would move me to tears if I still had tears to shed-[blast]" came Mr. Freeze from the doorway who promptly froze Batman, knocking him out.

"Ugh...h-huh...what?" Batman awoke to find himself hanging upside down from a frozen ceiling, he was in Freeze's lair. He saw the villain right side up on the ground with his utility belt slung over the left shoulder.

"I'm sorry, but I cannot let you interfere with my plans any further."

"I saw what Boyle did to you and your wife, I know someone who can help you get back at him-"

"No! This needs to be done by myself...I will get my revenge Batman...And I hope you have enough body heat to last you until I get back." Mr. Freeze left the lair.

"Ugh...gotta...stop him...but how." Batman felt like this was bleak, until; he had an idea. "Wait a minute..." Batman spotted a lose icy stalactite...the top ones. He tore it off. "Well, it's -ah-choo!- All I got -[sniffle, sniffle]- ugh...ugh...uh-ahhhhh!" [thud] he fell to the floor. "Well, that worked more or less, now to stop Mr. Freeze. Ah-choo! [Sniffle] but...first, I gotta get my mitts on some of that chicken soup."

Batman dashed up towards an allyway street level, only to notice he was just blocks away from GothCorp. He dashed towards the building, hoping he wasn't too late.

Anyway Mr. Freeze and his crew drove up to the GothCorp in a giant flatbed with the giant-ass ray gun in the bed. Still the valet shrugged and asked politely for the keys.

"Park your truck sir?"

"No need, but I recommend you flee this place at once, lest you suffer the fate of those inside."

"Uh...so, do I park the truck, do I not park the t-"

"GET AWAY!"

"Yes sir!" the valet ran off

"Blast the building, that's an order!"

"No problem boss!" the henchman aimed the large gun at the 14th floor where the party would be held.

"Fire!"

[blaaaaaaaaast]

"It is with great pleasure for me to award Gotham's Humanitarian Industrialist of the year to Mr. -[crasssssh, swissssssssssh!]"

"What the?"

"Oh my God!"

The icy blast froze most of the room.

"Good, excellent, now for-"

"Batman!"

"What!" Freeze looked up "Ugh, take care of him boys, I'm taking care of Boyle."

Now this cool, Freeze approached a nearby fire hydrant and kicked off the top, the water spewed like a mile high...ha-ha, spewed, that if a funny ass word. Anyway he used his Badder than Bad ass freeze gun to freeze the stream at the bottom, the resulting momentum lifted him up and he literally slid in to the window, crashing the party...I'm not really sure if that's possible, I don't even believe in science, but it was still cool.

"Where is Ferris Boyle!"

Get Batman!" a henchman yelled

"Ugh-bwak!" he knocked out one instantly

"Smythe, Dresden, get 'im!" another yelled, readying the gun for another blast.

"Where are ya? Come out anf fi-[pow]-aw! There you are!" Batman hit one in the back of the head

"We can do this nice and easy guy." Batman coaxed him

"No way Bats, you ain't ruining this-[ker-slam]-ow." You don't even wanna know what happened to him.

"Ergh, Smythe!"

"I'll take care of him! Come here you!"

"Don't try it creep-o!"

"UGH-whoaaaa-[slam]" Batman literally threw him into a wall.

"Aw crap, gotta make this count!" he aimed the gun at the party. Mr. Freeze had left Batman's utility belt who pinched a knockout gas pill at him.

"No-[kissssh]-Knockout...ga-unh."

"Alright...time to disarm this...whew, that was close." Batman got a batling hook ready, and aimed it at the 14th floor.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Freeze had frozen all the doors shut so no one could getaway.

"I'll ask one more time, where...is...Ferris...Boyle?"

"Uh, right here?" he said squeamishly

"Boyle, it's about time I saw you again."

"T-T-Tyler...please, I-I-I-I-"

"You what? You're sorry? Sorry for ruining me...ruining my Nora? My dear, sweet, helpless Nora..."

"Uh...I uh, don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh no -[blasssst]"

"AHHH! Nooooo!" Freeze started to freeze his feet, legs, and lower torso to the floor.

"T-T-T-T-T-T-y-y-y-y-y-l-er...p-p-p-p-p-p-please..." he shivered

"No, now you'll know what it's like to-"

"Freeze, stop!"

"Ugh, figures! Stay out of this Batman, this is between me and the world's largest hypocrite over here!"

"I know, I know what he did, I saw, remember! But this is no way to get revenge." Batman sneered

"Of course it is, the perfect irony, I freeze him...for him freezing my heart." he aimed the gun at Boyle's head.

"Noooooo! Batman! D-D-DO S-s-s-s-s-s-s-ome-thing!" he begged

"Begging will get you nowhere Boyle, make a move, and he dies!" Freeze ordered. Batman had a batarang at the ready "I'm gonna-[chwing]-AWWW!" he knocked the gun from his hand "You little-[poosh...fisssssssh] AHHHHHHHHHH!"

Batman threw the thermos of chicken soup on his head, the warmth broke through the helmet, and being outside the sub-zero temperatures from inside the suit, Freeze could not survive, (he's fine) he passed out.

"What was that?" someone asked

"The only way-[sniffle]-to fight a cold. Here's a videotape of Ferris causing the accident that created Mr. Freeze." Batman tossed the tape into someone's hand. And he turned to Ferris, who was shivering profusely. "Good luck, humanitarian." he then walked away...

Later at his own, cold storage cell in Arkham Mr. Freeze studied the snow globe from earlier.

"This is how I'll always remember you...perfect...like the whiteness and purity of snow...someday my love...we will be together soon." he actually dried...except his tears froze halfway down his face.

**THE END**

**Thanx for viewing FanFiction**

**Okay, I realize this episode was very blah blah, not too much action, kind of ironic cause it won an Emmy wayyyy back in'92. **

**But fret not, Two-Face is up next...i can tell you right now, this episode will be at least 3 parts...maybe 4...it was a 2 part episode to begin with. **

**To Cartoongal11: Loved...loved it, loved it, loved it! Please though, add another chapter so's I can review, I reallllllllllly wanna see what happens to Gwen and Bridgette in the pink room...Not a manly word in that sentence...**

**Alright PLEASE REVIEW!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr.: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Peter Oldring: **Robin

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Peter Oldring: **Mr. Freeze

**Mark Hamill: **Ferris Boyle, various guards and people

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Lead henchman, guard, Dresden

**Topher Grace: **henchman, sleepy guard

**Tress MacNeille: **woman, various

**Mari Devon: **Summer Gleeson, various

**Nicole Sullivan: **announcer, various

**Maurice LaMarche: **Smythe, various henchman

**David Kaufman: **Johnny

**See ya folks!**


	12. TwoFaced, Part I

**Villain: Two-Face, Rupert Thorne**

**Episode Rewrite of: Two-Face (part 1) (1992)**

**Written by: Alan Burnett, Randy Rogel**

**Directed by: Kevin Altieri**

**Episode 6: Two-Faced**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

In his dreams, Alejandro Dent found himself running on an open plane. With dark and gloomy skies above, a raspy and threatening voice called out to him.

"_Al...Aly Dent..."_

"_No, please just leave me alone! Go away!" the figure who was identical to Al was right in front of him, flipping his double headed coin._

"_It's time Al, it's time..." [plink]_

"_No...No...NOOOO!"_

"It's time Al, it's time." his campaign manager woke him up.

"Oh Carlos, whew thank God...I had the dream again."

"Well here's some good news for you, they've started the sting." Al put on his game face.

"Let's go!"

The police have surrounded some of Rupert Thorne's Soldatto's in the old armory in East Gotham. Chris Gordon personally spearheaded the assault, he got on the bullhorn.

"This is the police, we have the building surrounded, come out with your hands up!" he ordered...yeah cause that works all the time.

"Retire, Gordon!" One of the Soldiers yelled from the fourth floor window.

"Hey Chris, how's it going?" Al asked

[bang, bang bang bang bang-rapid fire]

"It's been better." the two ducked behind a squad car. A cop approached the Commissioner.

"Sir, the SWAT team is in place!"

"Good, get them ready to move!" Chris ordered.

Meanwhile inside the armory, the soldiers opened up any and all of the boxes for anything useful.

"A Stinger, perfect; Jay, help me with this thing will ya!" two soldiers moved the launcher to one of the windows.

"They're starting to move!"

"Let em try, there ain't no one gonna get in here alive so long as we got this thing." the lead guy said. Batman appeared behind them and started to quietly wreck their sh*t.

"Just gotta get a good aim and-" the guy behind him noticed the bat.

"Oh, Frankie."

"What Carlo, can't you see I'm-Oh dear God! Mommy!"

"Ow!"

"Aw-[crash]"

"Merciful God! -[smash]

"OWWWW!" Everyone heard the commotion from outside.

"What's going on in there?" Al asked

"Sounds like they gotta bad case of Bat infestation." Chris chuckled. Suddenly they ran from the building, hands in the air.

"Help, help us!"

"We quit!"

"We surrender." and were quickly arrested. Of course the news crews had their eyes on Alejandro.

"I would like to personally Commissioner Gordon and his police officers of who this sting would not be possible." Gordon turned to the roof to see Batman just before swinging away.

"And thank you." Chris whispered

"Mr. Dent, are you certain these men are connected to Rupert Thorne?"

"Of course, and let me say that as you're District Attorney I will not stop until this town, is completely de-thorned!"

The lead soldier stopped right before entering the SWAT wagon.

"You're nothing but a bunch of talk pretty boy!" He kicked some mud onto Al's suit. "Mr. Thorne chews up and spits out creeps like you for breakfast!"

Al looked to see him and the others laughing. His bad side (from his dreams) couldn't take it anymore, and surfaced. He started to assault the guy.

"YOU little weasel, I'll rip you apart!" ha, that's what she said...wait...

"Help, get him off me, he's crazy!" Al was ready for a punch, but Chris held his arm

"Alejandro, snap out of it!" Al regained his control "What in the name of heaven do you think you were doing?"

"Chris...oh...I uh...i guess he just...just pressed the right button that's all." Al completely embarrassed, walked away.

"Huh, that's some button."

"_Help get him off he's crazy!"_

"_And after that incident, the dapper DA has gotten a new nickname Hot head Al. These men were believed to be in connection with crime boss, Rupert Thorne." _said Summer Gleeson on TV

"Hey, that's a good picture of you boss." one of Thorne's men said...then got slapped

"Great, the election is in a few days, and that little fiasco probably bought Al another 10,000 votes, with him still in office, he's sure to ruin us eventually!" Thorne thrashed.

"Well maybe we should see how far he swims in a cement suit?"

"And bring the heat down on us even more? I don't think so Giovanni, were gonna have to blackmail him."

"Well good luck, Dent's so clean, he squeaks." Thorne's secretary Candace said.

"Now don't be so sure Candace, remember the brighter the picture, the darker the negative...were just gonna have to see what Mr. Dent is hiding."

Anyway the following evening Trent, who was Al's best friend was throwing him a big campaign mixer in his back yard.

"If we want this city safe again, then we need to come down hard on these criminals! I will not see the good people of Gotham-" Blah blah blah, here's Trent and Al's fiance Grace LaMonte.

"Oh Trent, it was so nice of you to throw Al this mixer."

"Well thanks Grace, ya know Al and I go way back, but; I gotta say, have you noticed him...being, out of sorts lately?"

"Oh it's just the riggers of campaigning, that's all." Al left the stage to mingle with his voters.

"Oh-oh Mr. Dent, I just wanted you to know I voted for you two times!"

"Well ma'am I trust it was in two separate elections." he is the best Batman rogue to make puns out of.

"Oh, Mr. District Attorney, I have a question. When are you going to marry that darling fiance of yours?" Grace asked approaching him.

"Better marry her soon Al, cause I think she and I would be perfect." Trent joked

"You do and I'll prosecute." Everyone laughed.

"Uh, Al; I have some bad news." Carlos approached him

"What is it Carlos?" he handed him a piece of paper

"The judge had to overturn the case on the raid, he said the warrant wasn't complete." The bad side resurfaced again.

"NO! I spent months planning that raid! He can't do this to me! He's bought I tell you! He's on the take!" Trent ran over

"Al, calm down."

"No, you calm down you rich little twit!" he knocked Trent into a refreshments table. And Al was in control again.

"What the? Trent?"

Al ran inside the mansion with Grace and Trent not far behind...Unfortunately Candace saw the whole debacle.

"Al what was that?" Trent asked

"I just flew off the handle a little, that's all. Don't worry I have it under control."

"Al, you didn't just lose your temper, you were like a whole other person out there."

"I said I was sorry."

"I think you should get some help." Trent insisted.

"He already is." Grace said.

"Grace!"

"Alejandro, Trent is your friend."

"It's okay Al, a lot of people see shrinks."

"Yeah not when they're running for public office." he hung his head. "You know how some voters feel about psychiatrists."

"Well I for one am relieved you're tacking this problem head on. It takes a strong man to admit he has a problem." Trent smiled

"Yeah-yeah j-just keep it under your hat okay?"

"Don't worry, if there's anything I know, it's how to keep a secret." HAAAAA!

Now we can cutscene to one stormy night when Al was at a therapy session with Doctor Martha Crest. She was using the old falling to sleep while watching the watch technique.

"You are now in a deep sleep." said the older and frail psychiatrist. "Can you hear me?"

"Mhmm."

"Good, now Alejandro, I would like to speak to your other personality, I would like to talk to Big Bad Al."

"I-I don't think he wants to come out." Al cringed in his trance like state. If you see the episode a lightening strike briefly illuminates Two-Face for like a split second.

"He must if we are to help you...please try."

"Ugh...ergh, er-ah." Al's face turned mad and flushed, he took out his coin and started to flip it.

"Big Bad Al?" Dr. Crest asked

"Speaking." the raspy voice sneered

"I hear you and Alejandro are having problems."

"The guys a wimp."

Look, Al never liked to show anger as a , he used to feel very guilty about it, and repressed it all the time. Everyone feels anger, and if controlled it does no harm...you, Big Bad Al are all of Al's angry thoughts built up...maybe if Alejandro can control his anger, then-"

"Then, maybe I'll go away, right?" he stood up. "I'm not going anywhere missy, if anyone's leaving it's MR. GOODY-GOOD-[CRASH]"

"Oh my!" Al grabbed the lamp and made a huge hole in the window, the lamp crashed 17 stories below. Quickly she snapped Al out of his trance, he dropped the coin, bad heads up. He looked at the mess.

"Whoa, jeez did I do this?"

"Ugh, not you...your other personality, it's far stronger then I expected"

"Oh no, I've always been able to repress him! I can't go on like this doc!"

"Hmm...Al, I would like you to admit yourself to the psychiatric ward at county general for the weekend."

"No, I can't, with the campaign and all, I know i'm tryint to save my sanity, but there must be another way Doc?"

"Well, I suppose if you cut back on the campaigning and intensify our sessions?" yeah, bleed him dry, clever.

"Great, I'll do it, you set up the sessions and I'll be there!" Alejandro insisted. "Just so long as we keep all of this a secret."

Little did either know, Candace had been listening in the whole time. She put on her best evil smirk and walked away

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**To Cartoongal11: I really love it, but pleeeeeeeease stop keeping me in suspense, i want ACTION! Pleeeeease (shows puppy dog eyes). If i could offer my crappy imput i think Gwen shoudl fail her escape plan and gets punished...wink wink nudge nudge  
**


	13. TwoFaced, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

The following evening at the same place Joker crashed Al's big testimonial, was rented out for the after party, if Alejandro would win the election...like he wouldn't.

"Attention everyone, I have just learned that Alejandro Dent is receiving a mandate from the city in the form of a landslide!" Carlos announced. Everyone cheered.

"Now-now, let's wait until all the returns are in." Al said.

He left the stage with Grace on his arm. Trent was waiting for the two with an espresso in one hand. Gee wonder why he needs that in the dead of night.

"Congratulations Al, you're looking very calm and collected today."

"I told you I could handle myself...in fact I am in such good spirits, I may announce some wedding plans this evening." The blond haired Grace welled up

"Oh gee Al, you mean it?"

"It's in my acceptance speech." the two leaned in for some kissy-kissy, but, Carlos interrupted it.

"Uh, sorry Alejandro, but there's a phone call for you."

"Hold those lips, I'll be right back." Al entered his office and picked up the ajar receiver. "Hello."

"_Congratulations Alejandro...It's Thorne...Rupert Thorne." _Al put on his angry face

"What do you want you swine?"

"_Now, is that any way to treat a person who is going to make you a deal?"_

"I don't want anything from you Thorne."

"_Oh I think you will be, unless you would rather I speak to Big Bad Al. Or perhaps you would like me to speak to the press first." _Thorne held up Al's medical file. On the other line Alejandro cringed a little.

"What do you want?"

"_There's a limo waiting for you outside, take it, while you still have a career ahead of you."_

Al promptly hung up.

"Well I think he got the message." Thorne chuckled.

Al's happy face disappeared, and Grace noticed it right away.

"Al...honey...what's wrong?"

"N-nothing, I uh...i have an urgent meeting, watch over our guests would you darling?" he gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"But-but, the returns?"

"It's alright I uh...i shouldn't be long." Al got his coat and hat, and approached the elevator, Trent followed him.

"Al, where are you going?"

"Uh-uh nowhere."

"No tell me-"

"Mine your own business!"

"You're in trouble I can sense it."

"My friend you don't know the half of it." And there's another good pun. The door closed. Trent knew it was time to act.

Batman saw Al get into the limo, and he swung on top of a truck that was tailing it. The limo was picking up some serious speed. It changed lanes

"Ugh!" and so did Batman who jumped on a bus. He noticed the limo was heading for the East Borough Tunnel, so he launched a tracking device onto the back, and swung to the upper side of the freeway. It was up to the tracker now.

Batman followed the tracking device to Daggett Chemical labs. Thorne, his men, Al, and Candace were in an office room next to a catwalk above vats of highly corrosive chemicals. To a different effect of what happened to Joker.

"Stealing someones psychiatric file is pretty low Thorne...even for a low-life scum like you!"

"Oh, but it makes for such good reading, listen to this fellas." Thorne read from the file "It says here that little Alejandro was troubled with a bully at school...everyday the bully would pick on him. Until one day little Alejandro finally had enough, so he punched him real hard!"

"Ooooooo." everyone cooed sarcastically.

"This made little Alejandro feel very proud...until he found out the bully ended up in the Hospital."

"Gee, that must have been some punch." Candace acted as if she had never read the file before.

"Yeah that's what Alejandro thought, except the bully was actually in the hospital, with appendicitis! Never the less, Alejandro felt so guilty, he never showed his anger again, and so led to the creation, of Big. Bad. Al."

"Amusing, alright Thorne, so you know about me, what do you want?" Al asked

"Oh nothing, just a few favor's from the DA's office, just to keep my rackets going with no police prosecution."

"You're joking?" Al stood up

"Oh no, he's not here...and if you refuse I guess I'll just drop this off at Summer Gleeson's desk, I'm sure the people of Gotham would love to truly know the person...or person's they've elected."

Al got his angry, sweaty face on. All he could see was Thorne's men laughing at him, and Candace giving him an evil smirk.

He felt trapped, with no one to turn to...except for...you know who. He could feel his dangerous alter ego flip his coin in Al's head. The great equalizer...Bad Heads. Al let himself get taken over, he smirked.

"There's just one problem?" he approached Thorne

"Oh really? And what may I ask is that?"

"You're talking to the wrong Al-[grab-throw-thud]"

"Whoooooooooa!"

"OOF!" Al threw Thorne right into a wall of his own men, the fat ass boss brought them all down! Batman dropped in just in the nick of time-NOOOOT!

"You little cretin! How dare you." he grabbed Al's fist.

"No Dent, come on, let's get out of here!" Al threw his arm off

"NO! Thorne is mine!" him and his men stood up "Your welcome to help me Batman, but leave that rapscallion to me! Understand!" the two started to kick ass.

"No, you have to bring Thorne down, right...legally, you know that!"

"Alejandro might!

"Whoa-[thud]"

"Me on the other hand!"

"Whoa-whoa-AHHHH-[crash]"

"Could care less!"

In the midst of the fighting Candace simply stood there watching and possibly having a mini orgasm.

"Wild." was all she said.

"Crap, he'll kill me!" Thorne found the file and dashed from the office, Al had thrown another two guys off of him, and chased after the Kingpin...Kingpin! That's what that word means.

"Gimme that file! Gimme that File!" Thorne dashed onto the Catwalks. "Whoa, ugh-[thud]" Al slipped right in the side of it right over the railing over a vat. His body leaned halfway off the catwalk. The left half.

"I'll take care of him!" Frankie grabbed his Tommy gun, but Batman pushed him aside as he fired

[bang-bang-ricochet] "Look out Dent!" the bullets hit a fusebox, two high voltage wires fell into the vat of chemicals, causing a reaction, an explosive one that blew Al up and over the catwalk!"

"Alejandro!" he rushed over to see his unconscious friend "Al...no.".

It seemed like Al's days were numbered, at least that's what the papers said. Anyway, he was hospilized immediately, Grace and Trent visited him the very next day.

"Will he be alright doctor?" Grace asked

"Oh sure, a good plastic surgeon should be able to heel the physical scars."

"I'm worried about the mental ones." Trent whispered.

Now we cutscene to Rupert Thorne's office, where he was reading that news in the days paper.

"Well, looks like now Alejandro Dent will be out of out hair for good." Candace shrugged.

"I wish I could be sure about that." Thorne said tossing the paper into his fireplace.

So to finish this up we now cutscene to another dark and stormy evening, Al had woken up and the doc was about to cut the bandages.

"Alright, your face will look badly bruised, but not to worry I've already scheduled a surgeon." he cut the last few, the doctor and the nurse went wide eyed at the sight of his face.

"Well, get a mirror!" he demanded

"Uh,, Alejandro maybe you should wait for the surgeon-"

"I said get me a blasted mirror!" he pushed the doctor aside, threw the vase of flowers Trent had gotten for him (nice guy) and grabbed the small tabel mirror. He saw a normal fight half of his body, the left half, was scarred, bumpy and blue in color, his eye golden, his left side lips pulled backwards, you could see his teeth-you know what, you know what he should look like...oh the left side of his hair was now white.

No longer was he Alejandro Dent...he would now be Two-Face.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" he ran from his room, Grace was coming down the hall to see him.

"Alejandro?" she gasped when he turned his left side.

"Al...unh." she passed out at the sight of him. He approached her.

"Goodbye Grace, I'll miss you." Al then left through the nearest window, escaping into the night."

**To Be Continued...(end of part I)**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode was dedicated to the memory of John Vernon (1932-2005)**

**To Cartoongl11: I love it soooooooooo much, update soon plz! I want Gwen to suffer! I mean...pancakes?**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Marco Garzzini: **Alejandro Dent

**Paul Sorvino: **Rupert Thorne

**Dana Delaney: **Grace

**Diane Michelle: **Candace

**Scott Menville: **Frankie

**Carlos Alazraqui: **Carlos

**Dee Bradley Baker: **police officer, various

**Mae Whitman: **Press, various

**Jim Cummings: **doctor

**Dante Basco: **Henchman

**Grey DeLisle: **Dr. Crest, various

**John DiMaggio: **Various henchmen

**Peace y'all, tune in next time for Part II...well III but, you get the idea**


	14. TwoFaced, Part III

**Villain: Two-Face, Rupert Thorne**

**Episode rewrite: Two-Face (Part II)**

**Written By: Randy Rogel**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri **

**Episode 7: Two-Faced (Part II)**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Two-Face and his two goons, simply known as the twins road passed 222 50/52nd street. This wasn't just any old address, it was-

"Here it is, Rupert Thorne's Bookie joint." Twin 1 said. Way to be rude.

Two-Face readied the two sided coin, his official decider. Yes, he wears a suit of two different colors.

"Good heads we leave em alone, bad heads, we hit em hard." He said in a raspy voice, he flipped. Bad heads.

The guy at the door opened the speakeasy slide.

"Password?" -[kerslam!] the twins entered with Tommy guns.

"Everyone down-[rapid fire at the ceiling!"

"Ahhhhh!"

"Oh my God!" Two-Face entered

"Everyone stay where you are...for the next five minutes, I'm in control, you two; get to the safe!" he ordered the twins. They stormed the teller room, every staff member had hit the floor, and the safe was already open.

"Whoa, there must be at least 200,000$ in here." Twin 2 said

"Yeah and look at this, a whole box filled with dollar coins!"

"Take em, and let's leave before his back-up arrives." Then twin 1 noticed a diamond ring on someones finger.

"Hey, this is mine-"

"No, jewelery wasn't part of the deal, we gotta flip for it."

"But-"

"Two-Face?"

"Shut-up!" he flipped. "Good heads, leave it!"

"But-"

"I said leave it!" The two grabbed the loot and made a break for the car while Teo-Face went out to the door, looking back inside he said.

"Give you're boss and or friend Mr. Thorne, this message-[rapid fire]"

He fired hitting all the TV's that had the racing events...then the ceiling, then the madman left. Now meanwhile, at Thorne's HQ. He threw the phone against the wall

ER-AHHHHHHH! How much did he get me for this time?" The kingpin asked Candace.

"Over $300,000."

"God! He's embarrassed me for far too long now, 6 months!

"Why does he hate us so much?" Frankie asked

"You kidding, we created him." Candace added

"Enough! It's time we ended it, spread the word, I'm putting out a contract, $1,000,000-no...$2,000,000...1 million a face, for the man who brings me...Two-Face."

And now we skip for a dream sequence. Alejandro found himself running blindly, with Batman close behind.

"Alejandro!" he called out. Al kept running, he found himself on a rickety rope bridge. "Alejandro!"

"No stay back, get away!"

"Al, I want to help you!"

"Help me? You knew what was happening you knew what was going on! I thought you were my friend, you said you could help me, but you didn't!" he suddenly turned into Two-Face. "Now look at me!"

"But I tried Alejandro, I really did!" Batman defended. Suddenly the bridge broke, and Al fell down

"Why couldn't you save meeeeeee!" [splat] Batman then saw the images of his dead parents.

"Why couldn't you save us son?" Thomas Wayne asked Batman-

Suddenly, Trent woke up from his dream in the the Bat-Cave. The computer desk was littered with open psychiatry books so he could get an understanding of Al's "special" condition.

"Ah-unh...ugh, just a dream...so what kind of dreams are you having tonight Al...Sweet dreams...nightmares...maybe both at once?" he took a small newspaper leaflet of Two-Face "Sleep well my friend...sleep well. Wherever you are...whatever you've become...Know this...I will save you."

Now we let Trent get on his soapbox, we cutscene to another soapbox. Grace was at her apartment, looking at a picture of Alejandro, and sobbing into it.

[knock-knock-knock-knock] she heard a knock at her door.

"Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Yes?" As Clint Eastwood would say-_Get the sh*t out of your mouth, puss-cake!_

"Grace Lamonte? I'm detective Leopold, Gotham Vice." It was Candace and Frankie in actually semi-decent disguises...now we cutscene to some tea.

"I, just wanna know he's alright." Grace said.

"Were not sure what Al will do next, but were certain he will contact you at some point, if he does, just press the red button on this beeper, and we will converge on your location. Remember we only wanna help." Candace put the beeper in Grace's reluctant hands. "Contact us if anything changes." the two left.

"Okay."

The two fakies, got in their car and took off their disguises.

"You really think he'll show?"

"Oh he'll show alright, they always come back." Candace smiled. The two drove away, actually Two-Face had passed them, meaning they passed the apartment. He looked out his window, with a sad face(s).

And now we cutscene to their lair, Two-Face counted the loot which would be divvied out to his greedy Hench-twins.

"twenty nine eight, twenty nine nine, three hundred thousand, not bad for one evening's work." Twin 2 went for a stack, until Two-Face twisted his hand.

"Owwwwww!"

"You don't touch anything unless I tell you, got it!" he took out his wallet and shoved some bills in. "You were always a couple of greedy little bastards, even when I prosecuted as DA." he noticed a picture of him and Grace in his wallet...he noticed them both starring. "Well, what are you two looking at?" he fumed

"Well, gee Two-Face, if you miss her so much, why don't you just see her?" Twin 1 said

"Yeah, we can even bring her here if you like?" Twin 2 added

"Er, we have to flip for it, I have to...[plink]" he flipped, it landed on the table-

"Bad heads, forget it! We got bigger things to do anyway, it's time we finished off Thorne once and for all."

"You gonna knock him off?" Twin 2 asked

"Let's just say I'm gonna do to him, the same way he did to me." he chuckled.

Now back to the Bat-Cave. Where Batman was finding a pattern to Two-Faces crimes.

"Trying to find a pattern to Two-Faces crimes sir?" Cheese and Crackers Alfred, I guess The Britihs are rude!

"Yeah, look at the places he's robbed Alfred, Club 22, Gemini Jewelers, Two's Company Cafe."

"2's? Good Lord, has someone informed the second national bank?"

"He won't rob that, all these places are also Rupert Thorne fronts, for his various racketeering gambits." big words. "Unfortunately, he's used them all up, I think Alejandro is through humiliating Thorne, I think now, he wants to finish him." Batman stood up.

"You certain sir? Perhaps he'll rob them twice, maybe a sort of...double or nothing?"

"No...he wants Thorne Alfred, it's up to me...to stop them both. And I think I know he plans to do it." Batman got on the Bat-Cycle,

"Keep your guard up sir, Alejandro is no longer the man we once knew."

"I know Alfred...but I know I can still save him. I know my old friend is in there."

"That may make it even more dangerous sir." Typical line finisher for Alfred.

Batman drove out of the Bat-Cave. Headed for where he thought Alejandro would go.

**And that's our scene...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**To Cartoongal11: WHERE IS ITTTTTTTTT PLEASE UPDATE!**

**Alright, big finale coming up next  
**


	15. TwoFaced, Part IV

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Two-Face was in the office of Thorne's Lawyer, Kenneth Doubleday...of course that's what his name is? That was soooooo Bruce Timm's doing...Twin 2 was inside looking through files with the maniac, while Twin 1 guarded the outside.

"Aha, here we go boss."

"Excellent, a complete history of all his passed rackets and felonies, I knew it." Two-Face began sifting through the files "That wuss Alejandro would never have found this goldmine in a million years...following the law-Ha!"

"I agree, oh my-look, it even has his Swiss Bank Account numbers!"

"Excellent, now we can just-[crassssh]" Batman crashed through the window in the nick of time

"Typical." Two-Face huffed

"I'll take care of h-gwahhhh!" he pulled out a gun, Batman twisted it out of his hand, then he threw Twin 2 into a wall. Twin 1 entered the room

"Hey what's wrong I heard-Holy!" Batman quickly noticed, then threw him into the wall.

"You little-whoa!" Two-Face tried to retaliate, but Batman pinned him against the desk.

"Easy Al, I just want to help you."

"Help me? Help me? You don't know anything about me!" Two-Face fumed

"I know you have friends who want you well, I know!"

"Back off! Alejandro's friends are no friends of mine!" he grabbed the desk lamp and smacked Batman in the face with it.

"[bap]-OW!" Two-Face pushed him aside, and grabbed Thorne's files.

"Come on!" they dashed from the office.

Batman tried to catch up, and he managed to tear a piece of Two-Face's coat.

"Ah! You little!"

"Whoa-[smack]-unh..." Twin 1 punched him from behind his head. Knocking the Dark knight out.

"Good work, now let's go!"

**30 minutes later...**

"Batman...you okay?"

"Ugh...unh...w-what happened?" Batman was awoken by a janitor. "Where's...Two-Face?"

"Ain't no one here but us son." Batman then noticed the piece of Two-Face's jacket he tore off, it was the pocket, inside Batman found a matchbook...with a Two of spades on the back, he knew now where to find his fallen friend.

"Thank you, I think I have all the pieces I need now." Batman started to walk away.

"No problem."

Meanwhile, Two-Face and his goons were driving back towards their hideout.

"This is perfect, I'll ruin Thorne by tomorrow with all this information." he chuckled. They stopped at a red light.

A bridal shop was to Al's left, he saw a bride and groom mannequin and saw the banner above them appropriately titled

_'And the two shall become one'_

Of course the sign has to say that. Anyway al couldn't take it anymore, they had just gotten through that intersection, when-"

"Stop the car, now!" he did a quick flip of the coin-

Now we cutscene to Grace who was just about to hear the call shes been waiting for.

"Hello?"

"_Grace."_

"Alejandro?"

"_Listen, I have to see you."_

"Oh honey of course, where, when?"

"_Outside, there's a car..." _Grace walked to her window _"They'll take you to me." _she then noticed the beeper on her nightstand.

"Al, no matter what happens, know I always love you, okay?"

"_Yeah, I'll uh...I'll see you in a few." _he hung up.

"Oh Al, know I just wanna help you." she brought herself to tears, but pressed the button.

**Several minutes earlier...**

News travels fast, and Thorne just got the news his files have been stolen

"No! No! NOOOOOO! I can't believe that bastard stole my files, if the police finds out, I'll be ruined for sure! Frankie!"

"Sir?"

"Grab your crew, were find that miserable son of a-[beeeeeeeeeep]" Candace's purse beeped "What the hell?"

"Rupee, get your gun, and your checkbook, this is the lead we've been waiting for." she chuckled taking out the activated tracking device.

It was pouring when the Twins arrived with Grace and the Wild Deuce Club. Again appropriately named. The place was recently closed down. Grace stepped into the corridor, then the main stage room, while the twins waited in the corridor.

Grace noticed the room was half lit, half dark. And Two-Face stood right in the middle, a white ghost sheet covered the left side of his face.

"Hello Grace." he said

"Alejandro...what is this?" she approached him.

"It's Two-Face now...i just wanted you to know that...this is me...this is my life." he took out the coin. "The law of averages...chance...so fair...so unbiased, so...arbitrary." he walked over to a roulette table. "Chance...whether you're born or not...whether you're rich or poor, whether you're black or white...all, arbitrary." the ball landed on 2...of course.

"Al stop it! I remember when you used to control your life...and not some silly coin...you don't need it." she unclothed him, Al cringed. "You have me." Awwwwwwww-meh!

"But I...the...chance-it-" he then noticed the twins starring wide eyed and lifeless at the two-

"Well, what are you two starring at?" they fell, and entered Thorne and his boys...and Candace.

"Thorne..." Grace hid behind Two-Face.

"So, at last we meet...face, to face, to face." he chuckled

"What do want?"

"You know what I want, my files, where are they?" Thorne asked, he turned to Frankie who was already looting the safe, but couldn't find the files.

"They're not here boss."

"Go ruin someone else's life you swine!" Al snapped. "How'd you find me anyway?"

"Oh, you thank your fiance for that one." Candace held up the tracker, and Grace gasped "But I...Al I thought I was calling the police, I swear!" she put her hands on his shoulders, and Two-Face removed them.

"So much for taking control, huh Grace? And you'll never get those files Thorne!"

"Oh, won't I?" he took out his gun "Well then perhaps I need to teach this pretty face here a thing or two then."

"NOOOOO!" Grace yelped

"Don't you touch her!"

"Then gimme my damn file!"

"Ugh...fine." Two-Face approached the roulette table and pulled it up revealing a secret compartment, he took out the files. "Here."

"Good, now where were we?" guns were pointed at the couple

"Wait!"

"But!"

"Oh give it up, did you really think I would just-[thwack!]"

"Aw!"

"Gasp! Batman!" he entered into the room

"The jig is up Thorne! It's all over."

"On the contrary my friend, boys, take care of them!"

Well it was deja vu all over again, Batman and Two-Face polished off most of Thorne's men. Except this time, Grace was all over Candace.

"You slimy, dirty little-whoa!"

"Ahhhhhh!" CATFIGHT!

Alright, now to wrap a bow on this puppy, Thorne had a gun aimed at batman, and Bats slammed his fist up, and Thorne fired into the chandelier above, which came crashing down, trapping the Kingpin.

"Whoa-[crash]" Batman walked towards Grace, who by now has subdued Candace. Two-Face, saw the gun, and pointed it right at Thorne.

"No, wait, Two-Face!" he begged

"It's too late Thorne, you're time is up!"

"Alejandro, no!" Batman ordered

"It's too late Batman...it's up to the coin now...the great equalizer, the law of averages!" he flipped it.

Then Batman noticed the big box of silver dollars Two-Face stole the previous evening, he flung it towards the maniac, it got mixed in with the double headed coin, Two-Face, needless to say, went crazy.

"No! NOOOO! My coin, I-I can't decided without it! No! AHHHHHH!" he went nuts looking for his precious coin.

The police soon arrived, putting Thorne and his boys in one, and Al in another headed for Arkham.

"Poor Alejandro...you think there's any hope for him?" Chris asked Batman

"Maybe so Commissioner..." he walked over towards a nearby fountain. "Maybe someday."

"Yeah right, care to place a bet on that?"

"I'm no betting man...[plink-sploosh]...But, I like my odds." he flicked Al's coin into the fountain...it landed good heads up.

**THE END!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! And tune in next time for Mad As a Hatter!**

**To Cartoongal11: I love the sexiness, update asap!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr.: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Marco Garzzini: **Two-Face

**Paul Sorvino: **Rupert Thorne

**Dana Delaney: **Grace, various

**Diane Michelle: **Candace

**Scott Menville: **Frankie, various henchmen

**Tom Kenny: **time passing narrator, janitor, various

**Seth Green: **The Twins, various

**Mike Henry: **various people

**Kevin Conroy: **Thomas Wayne

peace y'all


	16. Mad as a Harold, Part I

**Villain: Mad Hatter**

**Episode Counterpart: Mad as a Hatter (1992)**

**Written By: Paul Dini**

**Directed By: Frank Paur**

**Episode 8: Mad as a Harold**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Miserable Wayne Tech scientist Harold Tetch sits in his office. The man was busy working on his latest mind control experiment mumbo-gumbo. Let's face it, this guy has no life. Anyway, he was experimenting on some mice.

"There you are my darlings." he activated their mind control headbands, and they had some tea...miniature sized, but it was tea. "Brilliant! Alright, I knew this experiment would kick ass!"

Suddenly, his abrasive and sadistic supervisor Nancy Stallone walked in along with Trent Wayne (I'm near certain that's not her real name, I am just too lazy to re-watch the episode)

"Tetch!"

"Oh, hello there Ms. Stallone, oh...Mr. Wayne. H-how are you sir, uh, how goes the musical career?"

"Eh, still working the bugs out on that one, but more importantly, how goes your research Harold?"

"Yes, were all anxiously waiting for your little mind control experiment." Nancy rolled her eyes.

"You see, if I were to use this mind control headband, my thoughts are transferred to what the mice are thinking, which means I can-"

"Last line Tetch!"

"Nancy please...continue Harold."

"Thanks Mr. Wayne. Anyhow basically as long as I control the headband, I control their thoughts."

"What an excellent application."

"I suppose." Nancy began "You sure about this Tetch?"

"Hey, I didn't spend 2 whole summers at Mind Control Steve's Mind Control Camp for nothing."

"Well I see it was worth it, if you will excuse me, I have guitar lessons, good day Harold, Nancy." Trent left the office.

"You got lucky this time Tetch, but your luck will run out!" She angrily stormed from his office.

Anyway Trent stopped by Leshawna the tech secretary, right outside the office. She didn't look too happy.

"Good morning Leshawna."

"Yeah, I wish it wa-Oh, oh uh, s-s-s-orry Mr. Wayne, I'm uh...just having one of those days that's all."

"Oh, what happened?"

"Not to be rude sir, but don't you have guitar lessons to attend to?"

"You be rid of me that easily, I just go to show everyone else up, now tell me, what's troubling you. As my dad always said-"

"A happy employee, is a productive employee-yeah yeah, alright, here goes." she began "My boyfriend Stephan broke up with me, all I said was..."

"Was what?"

"Nothing, sorry Mr. Wayne, I must get back to work."

"Oh, alright then, some other time." Trent walked away. Just as Harold walked in.

"Good morning Leshawna, ooh; my-my, you don't look happy."

"That's cause I'm not Harold...got a minute, you know you're the only one I trust around this office."

"Of course. A bit early for the coffee clutch though."

"Oh ha-ha, oh Harold Tetch you're as sweet as sugar. Anyway, my so called boyfriend Stephan broke up with me...cause I wanted to know where our relationship was going, so he just...split."

"Aw, but why, your the nicest girl I know...he'd be stupid to leave."

"Thanks...I knew there would be at least one good person in my life, thanks for listening Harold."

"No problem." that's when he got the idea. Until-

"Hey, get back to work you two!" Nancy yelled.

"Ugh, yes ma'am."

"Sure." Harold walked back into his office. "Aw, idiot!" he slapped his forehead "So close! Gosh I was so close!" he then noticed his musical poster of Alice In Wonderland. "Ugh, if only I was as cool as you." he said to the picture of Mad Hatter. "Wait a minute." he noticed his mind controlled mice. "Wait a minute...who says I can't be that cool, I can! I can control anyone I want...Just need a few of these." he grabbed a few microchip cards, on the one side with a 10/6 on them. Just like what the Mad Hatter has. "Perfect...I knew I had a couple of Mad skills." he walked back out of his office "Hey Leshawna?"

"Yeah Sugar?"

"What say I make you forget about that stupid old boyfriend?"

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is this, lemme take you out tonight, on the town; you and me, not-not as a date really, just as really good friends."

"Oh uh...well uh...gosh Harold..."

_Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes, oh gosh, please say yessss!_

"Uh, yeah, that'd be great."

"Sweetness, pick you up at 8?"

"It's a date!"

"Uh...okay." Harold walked back into his office. "YESSSSS! Take that Ms. Stallone. Maybe Harold Tetch has no confidence...but the Mad Hatter does."

Later that evening Harold certainly changed his look a little. He wore a cape and trench coat over British old style clothing. As well as a black top hat with a 10/6 card in it. And his headband under the hat. He was prepared.

"Evening my lady."

"Oh Harold, you sure clean yourself up nice baby."

"Of course...this is an unofficial date after all."

"But...you said it wasn't a date?" she retorted

"Uh...hey, up for a carriage right through the park?"

"Of course!"

"Whew."

They enjoyed a nice relaxing ride. They had exited their carriage and they were noticed at a slight distance by a couple of goons in the park. And in Gotham, that is not a good combination.

"Hey, look at this chump."

"Yeah man, I bet this chicken sh*ts loaded." he is, just not with money. Anyway, they approached the couple.

"Alright you two, this ain't your lucky night!"

"Gasp, dear God." Leshawna gasped. Harold just frowned

"Alright fancy boy, watch, money, and I like that hat." the one said

"What? N*gga that hat looks gay!"

"You look gay Antoine! Now gimme the hat...and your other stuff."

"Harold just do as they-"

"Na-ba...i got this." he interrupted her. "Look you why don't you imbeciles go ruin someone elses evening, huh?"

"Wrong answer Hat guy..." they got closer. Leshawna closed her eyes.

Harold threw his hands up, with two mind control 10/6 cards in his hands. They got close enough to where he simply placed them behind their ears...making them his zombies.

"What do you want us to do Mr. Hat?"

"Oh I dunno, go jump off a bride or something."

"Yes sir." they ran off.

"It's okay Leshawna, you can open your eyes now."

"Oh...what happened?"

"I scared them off with my Mad kung-fu skills, come on, we'll go eat."

The two went to the Rose Cafe. And everything seemed oddly good for the couple. Everyone seemed to know who Harold was. . . Which is odd cause he doesn't get out much.

"Mr. Tetch, your meals will be right out, and not to worry, is on the house, yes?"

"Thank you Andre."

"Wow Harold I didn't know you were such a renaissance man."

"My lady you've hardly broken the tip of the Iceberg."

We cutscene briefly to Arkham Asylum.

"What the hell, that's my line!" Mr. Freeze groused. He grabbed his paddle ball aside the snow globe. "I'll get even with this guy, he has yet to meet me, Mr.-OW!" he hit himself with the paddle ball "Ow, guarrrrrd, GUARD! I want my mommy, I want a bandage!"

Okay, now we go back to the episode, Harold had brought Leshawna to Gotham Story-Book land...which was a cheap non-Disney non copyright infringement knock off of Wonderland.

"Don't forget to lock-up when you're done Mr. Tetch." the guard was already under his control

"Wouldn't dream of Mr. Caraway." the two sat on some plushy mushrooms. Like the ones the guy who made Alice in Wonderland ate to inspire him...How do you like that Disney, he was on drugs. Is that how you wanna be role models to kids? Lousy bastards. Anyhow.

"Wow Harold...this night was truly magical."

"I'm glad you feel that way Leshawna, so do I. But as all good things must have their end, alas, we must be getting you back home. Jersey Shore is on tonight, I'm taping it."

"Oh yeah, come on." There's another televised abortion. Yeah that's right, From Jersey, Hate Jersey Shore. Take that stereotypes.

Anyway Batman was driving towards the East side Bridge in the Batmobile. He got a call from the police scanner Gordon let him...borrow.

"_Attention any available units, we got a few possible suicide attempts at East Side Bridge."_

"It's gonna be one of those nights." Batman sighed. He saw the two climb up one of the supports. They were the goons Harold had mind controlled earlier in the park...just carrying out orders. Batman launched himself to the top.

"Okay fellas, I realize the adrenaline rush is always a blast, but this is ridiculous."

"Sorry sir, were just doing what Mr. Hat told us to do...jump off a bridge."

"Uh, what?" Batman raised a cloaked eyebrow.

"Mr. Hat told us to sir." then he noticed the cards.

"Hmm, I wonder if this is causing you to go loopy, worth a shot, nothing ventured..." he grabbed the cards, the two returned to normal.

"Huh?"

"What happened?"

"What are we doing on the bridge?"

"Alright, what happened to you both?" Batman asked

"I dunno, this guy with a big hat on put these cards on our ears and told us to go-Oh my God Batman!"

"Ah, let's get out of here!" the two ran for the ladder and climbed down.

"Hmm, mind control...big hat..." come on detective "A 10/6? Tetch? No...it can't be...could it?"

Anyway Harold dropped Leshawna outside of her town house.

"Oh Harold, thank you for such a lovely evening."

"Anytime, until we meet again Leshawna, parting is such sweet, sweet sorrow."

"We'll, see each other at work."

"Riiiiiiiiight, well see ya." he happily walked home. Leshawna entered her house, where someone was already waiting with a box, and some flowers

"What the? Stephan?"

"Hey Shawna...look, I'm really sorry for splitting, you were right...we should see where our relationship is going...and I know just how." he opened the box.

"Oh Stephan!" tears were brought to her eyes.

"Will you marry me?"

"Oh, of course, come here sugar Daddy!"

Uh-oh, what will become of Harold once he finds out...? you'll see.

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Cartoongal11: Love it...need updates asap...with MORE WORDS! Love it! =)**

**Niko56 Public Service Announcement: Due to Hurricane Irene devastating my homeland, I doubt updates will be possible in the next several days. Guarantee I WILL NOT update tomorrow! Thank you for your understanding.**


	17. Mad as a Harold, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**-Sorry it's taken so long, but this is the first day I've had power and cable since last Sunday. Thanks a lot JCP&L...Bastards. Screw the middle class, that should be their motto  
**

Harold walked towards his office wearing his Mad Hatter clothing from the previous evening. Leshawna wasn't at her desk so he went into his office. Nancy barged in after him.

"TETCH! I don't know what the hell you did, but Mr. Wayne wants to see you right away!" she stormed out.

"Pleasant to see you too Nancy." like a hole in the head. He noticed Leshawna at her desk, he decided to give her a morning kiss, a-when.

"Oh Harold baby, thank you for a wonderful evening, it was really worth it!" she gave him a big old bear hug.

"I feel the same way-"

"And I have bigger news." she giggled and showed off the ring.

"What ever do you mean?"

"Oh it's Stephan, he asked me to marry him." Harold's heart sank.

"W-what?"

"Yeah I know I owe all my happiness to the two men in my life, isn't it-Harold?" she noticed him storm away. He ran into Nancy

"I'm going!" he climbed into the elevator and went to the top floor.

Harold angrily walked passed all the executives until he found Trent's office, he walked in.

"Ah, Harold, I wanted to talk to you about something-"

"Me too Mr. Wayne, I just wanted to tell you that I QUIT!"

"Alright so-WHAAAAAAAAT! But-But Harold you're the-"

"I'll be down to clean out my office, good day Mr. Wayne." (Again this isn't in sync with the episode I am just too lazy to re-watch it.)

"Hmm...this can't be a coincidence." Trent thought to himself.

Harold went back down stairs and stormed back into his office and started to throw his personals in a cardboard box.

"Lousy Stephan, if only I could change his mind! Gosh!" he then looked at the Alice and Wonderland poster.

"Hmm...maybe Harold Tetch can't do a thing about it...but the Mad Hatter can." he smirked. Just then Nancy stormed back in.

"Tetch! I-" he threw a card behind her ear.

"You're a chicken-START CLUCKING!"

"Buck-buck buck-buck!" Harold grabbed more of the mind control cards and walked out of his office.

"Harold Honey is something wrong?"

"Nope, at least there won't be."

"What do you-unh." he placed a mind control card on her ear. However everyone else in the office took notice.

"I'm gonna need a lot more cards."

Maybe 20 minutes later Trent walked down again to the tech department.

"Excuse me I-what in the world?" Trent quickly took notice that his normally diligent office workers acting like crazy animals. "Huh...my staff acting like animals...It is before noon...yeah that sounds about normal." he then noticed Nancy, Harold and Leshawna were missing "Okay, now I know this isn't a coincidence...Wait a second! The mind control cards!" he grabbed the chips off of all his controlled employees, all of which looked a bit surprised.

"What?"

"What happened?"

"Why do I have the sudden urge to scratch my own butt?"

"Hey! Tetch, where is he?" Trent asked, his employees shrugged.

"No clue Mr. Wayne, but it looks like him, Ms. Stallone, Leshawna and a few others are missing."

"Great...alright, get back to work, I'll uh...I'll find them."

Blocks away from Wayne Enterprises Mad Hatter had his numero uno mind control slave at a payphone...For you young viewers, it's a really really really big enclosed cellphone you find on street corners, and you pay x amount of money to make a call.

"That's it Leshawna...call that cur of a fiance."

"_Hello, Thorne Enterprises, Stephan speaking."_

"Stephan, it's Leshawna."

"_'Shawna baby, what's cooking good looking?"_

"I'm sorry, but I cannot marry you...my heart belongs to another."

"_What? What are you joking? Leshawna, Les-"_

"Good, good." Wait when did Palpatine get here? Hey! HEY Bruce, Eric, Emperor Palpatine was not in the script!

"It was Paul's idea."

"What? Dammit Dini! Wait...are we filming?"

"Yup."

"What? Eric? What the hell man, you're supposed to...eh,never mind. Where's Dini!"

Anyway Later that day Batman was driving along the city streets wondering where to find his missing employees, and his latest rogue.

"Okay, if I were Tetch, where would I hide. Hmm, well Harold doesn't get out much...wait a minute, 10/6...The Mad Hatter poster...Of course, Gotham Storybook land!" At that place Harold and his new mind controlled girl, now in Alice clothing.

"Ah, my dear Alice, care for some more tea?"

"Yes Hatter, please."

"Drink up, I made it spec-huh?" he went to some security monitors to see Batman had kicked open the locked doors. "Ah, the Batman, curiouser and curiouser, no matter, follow me my love."

"Okay."

Batman walked his way to what seemed like a giant chess board. He quickly noticed a lot of people dressed in Alice in Wonderland character costumes...He was quick to discover they were none other then his mind controlled employees.

"My my, you're a nosy little bat aren't you...hah-hah-hah, don't even try it Batman, they are completely under my control so long as I wear this headband...my life's work, a trick I've picked up at Technological Steve's Technological Camp."

"How many summer camps did you go to?" Batman asked

"I didn't have a good childhood okay! Gosh! My minions, destroy him!" Then the Queen of Hearts, who was really Nancy appeared.

"Off with his head!"

"I find that, a little ironic."

"How?" Hatter asked

"Uh...shut-up?"

"Well, rude, alright destroy him."

Batman dodged the ax and punch attacks, while actually not trying to hurt the slaves.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha...Oh Batman, I knew you would never want to hurt these innocent little victims of circumstance."

"Damn you're good Tetch!"

"Oh no...Harold Tetch I am no more, call me...The Mad Hatter!"

"Of course, everyone has a gimmick. But so do I!" Batman quickly launched a batling hook to the platform to where Hatter and Leshawna were standing.

"Aw crap!"

"This isn't a game Hatter!"

"You're correct, it's Wonderland!"

"And this isn't some stupid storybook!"

"Gasp! How dare you!"

"Hatter you're insane, look, I know you love that girl, but is that how you want to spend your life with her? Having her a lifeless mind controlled slave?" he actually thought about that for a few minutes.

"But I...she...I love...AHHHHHHH!"

"Oh boy." Hatter assaulted Batman with a hidden knife and a 10/6 card.

"Let's see how you like it being my slave, and don't try fighting me Batman, I spent two summers at Kung Fu Steve's Kung Fu camp!"

"Man, this Steve guy must make a killing."

"You don't know the half of it Batman."

He leaped forward. And in one fell swoop Batman tripped Hatter, who went forward, his hat fell and Batman grabbed the headband off of him, and Hatter hit the ground!

"Noooooooo-[crash]" . . . "Ouch...IDIOTS!" All of his slaves suddenly reverted back to normal.

"What the...what happened...what am I wearing?" Leshawna asked "Gasp, Batman!"

"It's alright Leshawna, you're back to normal now."

"Uh...what about Harold?" she asked as police sirens got closer.

"He can go to his own storybook land...at Arkham."

"Yeah, but at least he he was so-huh? Batman?" he had disappeared...typical.

**THE END!**

**Chapter dedicated to the memory of Roddy McDowall (1928-1998)**

Hi, Paul Dini here, executive producer and I did the teleplay on this episode. How are you enjoying the story? You're input is very important to us here at Niko56 Studios. So please drop us a REVIEW. Oh and to Cartoongal11, it was very great, uh please write more, and Niko56 would like to apologize on the power situation. Blast those Hurricanes. Alright, see ya next time, Scarecrow up next, stay tuned!

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Brian Froud: **Mad Hatter

**Novie Edwards: **Leshawna

**Grey DeLisle: **Nancy Stallone, various

**Phil LaMarr: **Mugger #2, Stephan

**Corey Burton: **Mugger #1

**Richard Moll: **police scanner

**Rob Paulsen: **chef, waiter, various

**Bruce Timm: **Himself, employee

**Eric Radomski: **Himself

**Niko56: **myself

**Paul Dini: **Himself


	18. Scared You, Didn't I? Part I

**Villain: Scarecrow**

**Episode Archives: Nothing to Fear, Fear of Victory (both 1992) **

**Written by: Henry T. Gilroy & Sean Catherine Derek, Samuel Warren Joseph**

**Directed by: Boyd Kirkland, Dick Sebast **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 9: Did I Scare you?**

Professor Ezekiel Crane stood at in front of the Gotham State University board for an appeal. On this board were Dean Schenkenmeyer, Asst. Dean Cooke and Dr. Long.

"I've called this formal inquest due to many student complaints from your class Professor Crane."

"Dean Schenkemflyer, how much time will this take eh, I must be getting back to class-"

"It's Schenkenmeyer!"

"And you may not have a class after this hearing Professor." Dr. Long added.

"What are you saying, eh?"

"Listen farm boy, you have 3 classes with a total of 67 students, am I correct?" Cooke asked

"Yes sir."

Alright." Long took out a stack of paper.

"Paperwork Dr. Long?"

"Stow it Crane! These are complaints from EVERY student of yours! EVERY!"

"You intellectual stumble-bums realize I teach classes in phobia and phobia management...quite nicely too...eh."

"Professor Crane, your teaching methods go a little too far. I-I-I-I mean, you pretty much scare the crap out of people! With that fear gas of yours!"

"It is to help them forget their fears by conquering them!" Zeke defended

"Yeah bull crap, we have reason to believe you just like scaring people." Long insisted.

"You have no proof!" Zeke defended

"_Ah, ever since I was a young kid, I always liked fear, eh. I just like scaring people ya know, this is like my dream job, eh." _Long played a tape recording from days earlier.

"But-but...that guy said he was with the newspaper." Aw, you gonna cry pussy?

"Enough of this! I can't have you screwing the minds of our students! Ezekiel Crane, you're dismissed!"

"What? What are you talking aboot!"

"He means you're fired dumbass! You have a college education and you couldn't figure that out?" Long chuckled

"Well then...ERGH! Fine! But I'm not done here!" Zeke walked towards the door "I'll get even you'll see, you'll all see, be afraid, oh yes gentlemen, be afraid, eh...Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Laters Long, Cooke, Crankenplyers!" he stormed out, just passing Trent, who was listening in

"It's not that hard of a name!" he defended

"Uh, yeah Sean it kinda is." Cooke patted him on the shoulders.

"Yeah, see ya fruitcake! NOT! Alright, next up on the agenda, funding acquisitions with Trent Wayne."

"Afternoon gentlemen."

"Mr. Wayne, it's always a pleasure to see you here at the University." Dr. Long shook his hand "Oh thank you uh-"

"Dr. Long, uh Samuel T. Long, you're father and I attended the university years ago."

"Oh yes, Dr. Long, he uh...he's talked about you...that I could remember.-uh soooo-"

"Ah yes, uh my condolences on your loss Trent."

"We feel the same way." Cooke and Schenkenmeyer agreed

"Thank you...question, who was that who just stormed out?" Trent took a seat.

"Oh some nutty professor we just fired, crazy fruit, loved to scare people, never you mind Mr. Wayne, now about those fundraisers?" Long asked

**3 years later...**

Geoff Grayson, Trent Wayne's older former ward, better known as Nightwing and Bridgette Gordon were in Geoff's Dorm room doing some sex studying. They like each other.

"Okay Geoff, we really have to stop with these study breaks, if we don't get this report done by tomorrow, professor Harlensenchester is going to kill-"

"You know Bridge...life is too short to study!" Geoff threw the books off his bed "See how easy that was, screw sex, let's have a pizza break."

"Sorry circus boy, we need a good grade on this, my dad said if I don't ace Ethics and Modern History this quarter dad said he'd throw me in jail, and with my dad you know that's now idol threat." Geoff leaned in closer

"I'd visit you in the slammer Batgirl."

"Yeah well he'd kill you for making me dumb, and then I'll end up some pretty butch dyke's prison bitch for the rest of my life, and then I'll die raped and miserable, do you want that on your dead conscious?"

"Nooooo." Geoff welled up slightly. "But ewww, what if it's Catwoman, or Harley...or Poison Ivy."

"I said dykes not crazy people...you know Ivy kissed me!"

"Yeah...wish I was there to see-[slap]-ow...sorry."

"That's okay, now let's...you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"The screaming, I just hear a ton of screaming from outside." Bridgette got up and went to the door, sure enough, a lot of kids were screaming and spazing out.

"AHHHHHHH!"

"Oh my God, Spiders!"

"Big Spiders!"

"Spider-man! I hate Spider-man!"

"Tigers!"

"Oh my GOOOOOD!" Bridgette quickly closed the door.

"Is Dylan Mason throwing another party again, I swear if he didn't invite me." Geoff fumed.

"Nope, all the kids seem to be thinking they're seeing their worse fear, when in fact nothing's there, something's up Geoff, and were gonna find out."

"Yes! Let's hit it!"

"Suit up Nightwing, let's go to work!" Bridgette yelled

"Yeah, see this is fun!"

"Alright, just gimme a sec to call Trent-"

"Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa...whoa."

"What's wrong Geoff?"

"We don't need to call Mr. Miserable-Batty-Takes-All-The Credit, we can do this all by ourselves."

"Gee, you really thinks so?" Bridgette asked

"I know so...mwah...now come on." Batgirl and Nightwing suited up and headed for the Quad. Where more students were yelling and screaming.

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

"SCARY!"

"TEACHERS!

"So many Richard Nixon's!"

"Huh, okay we know all the kids are suddenly seeing their worst fears...but who..."

"And why?" [pop-pop-koosh]

"I believe I can answer that Haaaaaa-ha-ha-ha!"

"Batgirl!" Nightwing pushed her out of the way as falling pumpkins exploded, and some sort of red gas spewed out.

"What the? Whose this!"

"Look out Nightwing!" now it was Batgirl's turn to be hero. She pushed him out of the way.

"Alright look creep-o! I don't know who you are but-"

"Oh but I know you guys, eh?"

The guy was standing on a purple flying wing he wore scarecrow like outfit under a large black old trench coat. His face covered by a Freddy Kruger mask, and his head covered by an old toque. Kinda like Hobgoblin, who is featured in my Batgirl Chronicles stories...check em out now! Anyway He landed.

"Batgirl and...uh...okay you got me eh, I don't know you."

"Nightwing!"

"Right, right."

"So, who are you?"

"I am the master of fear, the lord of despair, Cower before me you meek fools! I am-" [koosh]" he threw two pumpkins right at them.

"Cough Cough Cough!"

"COUGH COUGH!"

"I am, the Scarecrow! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-HAAAA!"

**To Be Continued...**

**Cartoongal11: Love it, but I needs more to satisfy me brain please update**

**Well kiddies, i start senior year tom-today, so if you have already started school best of luck to ya, and if not...well then you guys are the luckiest bastards on the face of the earth**

**BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
**


	19. Scared You, Didn't I? Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

I'm sure you can only imagine the fears and horrors our two masked copyright protected crime fighters must be feeling from the gas right now.

"AHHHHHHH, so alone...woods...no one...around."

"GAHHHHH SO MUCH HAIL!" Ah...what babies.

"Hmm, sleetophobia." Scarecrow chuckled (There actually is no technical term for fear of hail I'm just using it's proper name and the word phobia on it...CREATIVE) "And monophobia, interesting young crime fighters...well then, I must be off, eh."

"AHHHH, it huuuuuuuuuurts!" Whereas Batgirl was in the fetal position.

"So alone... so-ah-SQUIRREL!"

"AHHHH!"

"So scared!"

"FEAR!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha! What a beautiful sight, eh? Now to get what I was looking for." Scarecrow got on his wing and hovered above the quad.

While sleeping in his dorm-ish penthouse, Dean Schenkenmeyer got a call.

[riiiiiiiiiiiing-riiiiiiiiing]

"Zzz-huh? What? Aw...this better be important!"

"_It is sir! I-It's the students!"_

"Who is this?"

"_Officer Coleman, I've been the chief of security here for like...10 years now-If I'm not mistaken sir, you interviewed me-"_

"I don't have time for these games, my beauty rest has been disturbed, and I'm very cranky if I don't get my 8 hours of sleep!" [pound pound pound!] "Goodnight Mr. Coleman." he hung up. And turned his attention to who was knocking at his door, quite loudly "Whose there!"

[ker-wham!] the door flung open, and Scarecrow flew in on his wing.

"Knock knock...where are you Dean?" he said in a scary voice.

Skeptical of the situation and ready to shat in his pants, (meant to say shat) Schenkenmeyer got the .38 S&W revolver he kept in his nightstand drawer.

"Who is it? Show yourself-[fwang]" his bedroom door flung open.

"Scared you, didn't I?"

"You forget, I'm the one with the gun!"

"Yawn, your boring me Schenolantern." Scarecrow chuckled

"IT'S SCHENKENMEYER DAMMIT! Now who-wait a minute...no one botches my name up that badly except...-"

"Come on College boy."

"C...Crane?"

"EH! 2 points for you!"

"But-but why?"

"Cause you fired me that's why! I was one of the greatest professors here and you know it!"

"I couldn't have you keep poisoning the students with your crazy fear experiments you psychopathic nut!"

"It was necessary! Fear is what glues society together! And I was there to break the walls! Why can't you see that!" Scarecrow screamed

"Crane, listen to yourself-"

"And another thing, it's not Crane anymore, it's Scarecrow!"

"Appropriate for a nut like yourself."

"Pity you won't be able to even eat those words, eh."

"Again Crane-"

"SCARECROW!"

"Whatever, I'm the one with the gun."

"Yeah, well I'm the one with the pumpkin-[poosh]" he threw one right at the dean.

"Cough-cough-cough-cough, what the...huh...a-ah...AHHHHH Spiders! AHHH Get em off me! GETEM OFF ME-AHHHHHHH!"

"Hmm, typical Arachnophobia." he picked up the gun "Now Dean Schenke-er...Scheker...whatever, it's time you faced the ultimate fear-[fwing-crash, chunk]"

"What the?" A batarang knocked the gun out of his hand, and who should crash through the glass but-"

[CRASSSH]

"Give it up gruesome!" Ah, there's Batman

"Ah, the caped crusader, the grim stalwart Dark Knight...oh how I have looked forward to our meeting, eh?"

"Listen uh...I'm not sure what it is your trying to accomplish here-"

"My ultimate experiment...the entire university cowering in there own fear...heh-heh."

"Fear...hmm...oh right, Ezekiel Crane is it?"

"You truly are as good as the papers portray you Dark Knight, but are you good enough to handle with...the likes...of me!" he threw down a pumpkin

"What the-a cough cough cough!"

"Now, what big fear keeps the Batman up at night, hmm?" Ah crap, what was Trent afraid of...uh...Mimes, yeah mimes right.

"Ugh...ew..." he saw a mime doing the old "in a box" trick "Mimes...I hate mimes."

"Mimes...hmm, I don't have a phobia for that one, oh well no matter, I have other patients to see, ha-ha-ha! And it's Scarecrow Batman, don't forget it!" he threw down a smoke pumpkin to cover his escape.

"Oh great, two more of em, out of my way! Man these things give me the creeps." from his belt he took out a pellet, when squeezed it emits a gas that neutralizes many toxins in the air, first on the dean.

"Ahhh-Ahhhh-AHHHH!-[koosh]-oh...they're gone. Gasp, Batman!"

"It's Crane, he developed some kind of nerve gas that makes people see they're worst fears-stop looking at me! Crazies." he meant the mimes

"I know, made me see spiders-gosh spiders gimme the willies, what about you?"

"Mimes...Will you cut that out, there is no box there! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS!" [koosh] he opened another pellet "Ah, much better."

"Look if Crane is out for revenge he'll surely find Assistant Dean Cooke, and then there's Dr. Long!"

"Stay here and call the police, I shouldn't be awhile." Schenkenmeyer went for his phone

"Okay, but what about-" and just like that, he was gone "What is he, some kind of Houdini?"

Batman ran downstairs to Cooke's place only to discover Scarecrow had already struck, but he didn't kill the dean.

"Dean Cooke? Mr. Cooke?" Batman called out

"AHHHHHHH!"

"Well, that ear piercing scream would be a great spot to start looking." he ran into Cooke's bedroom, he too was in the fetal position.

"Bunnies...so...s-so many bunnies-ah-get em away from me!"

"Rabbits? Ha-ha, and I thought mimes were lame' Batman opened up a pellet. "You should be okay now Mr. Cooke."

"What the-Batman?"

"Where's Crane?"

"You mean the Scarecrow."

"Yes, it's Crane, now where is he?"

"I don't know, but I'll bet you he's on the hunt for Dr. Long, be careful Batman, he's dangerous, and very unpredictable."

"I know, you shouldn't worry yourself, I'll bet you I'll have him subdued in...9 minutes, I always liked that number." he turned to leave.

"I'll warn you right now, he's crazier now, then what he was years ago, it'll take everything you got, and then some."

"Thanks for the warning." Batman left.

Batman headed for the quad, to see all the students screaming, the dark knight sighed

"AHHHHHHHH!"

"OH MY GOD!"

"SCARY!"

MOMAAAAAAA!"

"Sigh, I'm gonna need a lot more pellets." He walked down the line spraying kid after kid, until he came to Nightwing and Batgirl.

"So alone...so very alone..."

"AHHHH GET THIS HAIL OFF OF MEEEE!"

"Ugh, I should have brought Robin. Alright you too, snap out of it [koosh-koosh]"

"Ah-huh?"

"Hey old man when did you get here?" Nightwing asked

"Mr. Freeze was causing a disturbance, but then I heard about this and came right over."

"This guy named-"

"Scarecrow, he was an old professor specializing in fear whose out for revenge."

"Whoa, that was a better synopsis then what I was going to say." Batgirl shrugged

"Yeah, now a professor here is in grave danger if we don't-[crash]-spoke too soon." on the other side of the quad Dr. Long crashed his car into a lamp post while trying to allude the Scarecrow.

"Ah, get away!"

"Not a chance, eh! This one is especially for you Long!" he held up a giant pumpkin

"Not today Scarecrow!" Batman threw a batarang at the wing's engine, which caused it to malfunction

"What the-Whoa-AHHHHHHHHHHH-[crash]...ugh...so close." he landed right next to some bushes.

The police arrived, Detective Montoya briefed the team.

"Detective, spearheading this yourself?" Batgirl asked "Where's the Commissioner."

"Ah something about a hair gel emergency."

"Yeah that sounds like da-I mean the Commissioner."

"Oh thank you Batman, if it weren't for you, I'd be finished." Long said

"Don't worry about it, it's why were here."

"Actually, if you could give someone a little extra credit in psych-ow!" Nightwing tried to be persuasive but then got slapped by Batgirl.

"Well thanks to you Batman, I doubt Mr. Crane here will do anyone anymore harm again." she pointed to the unmasked Ezekiel being loaded in the car.

"Somehow detective, I wish that were true." the car drove away.

"Oh come now guys, Arkham has gotten far better sec-what the?" she turned back and the three had disappeared. "Ya know one day I will figure out how they do that."

**THE END**

Hello there FanFicition, Eric Radomski here, I am a producer here and I directed this chapter. Again **Reviews**, always appreciated, always welcome, flames, no worries; plenty of people like this fanfic. Our season finale is up next, uh The Laughing Fish, here to end season 1 on a high note, stay tuned, oh and to Cartoongal11: Niko is quite curious at what Heather does to Gwen, write back would be appreciated. Alright, stay tuned, bye now.

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Dan Petronijevic: **Nightwing

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Peter Oldring: **Scarecrow

**Emilie Clare-Barlow: **Detective Montoya

**Tom Kenny: **Dean Schenkenmeyer, student, time passing narrator

**Rob Paulsen: **Asst. Dean Cooke, student

**Jess Harnell: **Dr. Long, student

**Dan Castellaneta: **Officer Coleman

**Tara Strong: **female student

**Jim Cummings: **various students

**Phil LaMarr: **student

**Eric Radomski: **himself

For those of you wanting to know the goofs and differences between these episodes and their Batman counterparts, lemme know I'm sure I could answer your questions.


	20. The Laughing Fish, Part I

**Villain(s): Joker & Harley Quinn**

**Episode Counterpart: The Laughing Fish (1993)**

**Written by: Paul Dini**

**Directed by: Bruce W. Timm**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 10: The Laughing Fish**

It was a rather stormy evening at the wharf. Some salty fisherman were unloading the days catch.

"Okay Mac, drop the net!" out fell the pounds of...uh...what's a salt water fish-smelt, yes lots of smelt.

"Alright let's see what we got-" he shined his light

"What the?"

"Oh my God." the all the fish suddenly had the giant tooth filled Joker grin with the red lips, and green fins.

"All of them, with the Joker's face!"

"Call the police!" Batman was on a nearby roof overhearing the conversation.

"He's made his move."

Meanwhile he returned to the Bat-Cave in the Batmobile, Alfred was at the computer desk reading the paper. The smiling fish made the front cover. Batman walked to the work table and plopped one of the fish right on it.

"Dining in tonight sir?"

"The dissection tray please Alfred." Batman asked

"Right away sir." Alfred got the tray of tools. "So, what's our smiling green Mohawk friend up to this time?"

"I wish I knew...you see Alfred, most criminals have such logic and motives for their plans...but the Joker's insane schemes make sense to him alone."

We cutscene now to the Gotham Copyright's bureau. The door flies open and two henchmen, most likely fisherman, then Harley Quinn walks into the middle.

"Ah-ha-hem...Look alive wage slaves. Presenting that Caliph of clowns that mogul of m...m-mogul of...psst, puddin' what's my line ag-"

"MOUNTEBANKS HARL!" the clown prince blared from outside

"Oh-a, right-right, that mogul of mountebanks, the one and-the-the only, Joker!"

"Well you just completely harpooned my entrance right in the ass, but I guess I'll take the crumbs as usual-hmm-hmmm-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Joker chuckled approaching the meek head of copyrights.

"Great Scott!"

"Actually I'm Irish." he approached his desk "Good morning Mr. -uh, uh-Francis, please allow me to introduce my associates, miss Quinn."

"Enchanty. Whoa, you have such smooth hands-"

"Stop gazing at them!"

"Yes sir!" she backed away.

"And these guys are messers-hmm...uh, a-well, there names escape me for the moment, but screw them, cause we gentlemen of business have business type stuff to discuss, ya know arrangements and all."

"What the hell, our names ain't that hard to remember." the first henchman said

"Shh."

"Uh, arrangements?" Francis asked

"For my fish of course." Joker plopped one on the table. "This has been worked out far in advance Francis, you are merely the last tiny little cog in my grand design, so don't speak to me again, k?" he picked up the fish. "Now, what is everyone in town talking about, hmm?"

"Uh, your fish?" why did he do that for?

I TOLD YOU NOT TO SPEAK!-[fish slap!]" Harley walked up to him

"Ew gross, fish, what a stink." she sprayed him with some "special" perfume

"Cough-cough-cough."

"All better."

"As I was saying, since every fish in Gotham bears my famous and quite frnakly kick-ass face, I should be getting a profit, for every fish product sold." Henchman number 2 dumped a box with his fish products onto the desk.

"Oh let's say, a nickel per fish sandwich, 50 cents for sardines-millions of dollars a day, to finance my happily hedonistic lifestyle-so, which of your tedious copyright forms do I fill out first? You may speak now." Joker finished.

"But no one can copyright fish, they're a natural resource."

"But they share my unique face, colonel what's-his-name, or whatever the f*ck he is has chickens, and they don't even have mustaches!"

"I can't help it, it's the law!" Francis defended

"Oh, trying to cheat the joker are ya? Well we'll just see who has the last laugh, YOU have until midnight to change your mind Francis, or you'll be the poorest fish of all-ha-ha ha ha ha ha-HA-HA-HA HAHaHA!" they started to exit one by one.

"Buh-byeeee!" Harley waved.

"Ugh, he's crazy."

Meanwhile Alfred was watching the news in the Bat-Cave

"_Coming up next, Marla Benson has a special on the smiling fish epidemic, just how safe are Gotham's waters?" _Well news guy who Mark Hamill clearly voices, here's Batman to answer that.

"Well good news first he's not out to poison people, this deluded toxin only effects fish."

"Well maybe he's trying to make us all die from disgust." Suddenly a commercial appeared on the TV

_They're finny and funny and oh so delish, they're joyful and jolly, Joker-uh...Fish." came Harley's voice. Then shes in a kitchen, where the two henchmen are sitting at a table dressed as kids_

"_Ugh, he doesn't pay us enough." the one whispered_

"_He doesn't pay us at all." _

"_Say mom, wondering what to feed the family tonight?" I dunno Mark Hamill...who is clearly doing more than his fare share of additional voices in this episode...just kidding _

"_What'll I feed the family tonight?" the ditz reiterated_

"_Argh, try me famous Joker fish!" joker appeared with a big ol sack o fish. "They're smiling smelt, giggling grouper, and happy haddock." he put some cooked pieces on a plate _

"This could cause a stampede to pork." Alfred commented

"_Yummy yum yum...eat it!" Joker noticed Harley wasn't biting_

"_Um...Mistah J, I have this little problem with fis-[mmmm]" he shoved the piece in her mouth "Mmm...nummy num num...[ralphs...vomits...yak!]" oh, that's gross_

"_That's right friends, Joker fish!" [vomits] "Tasty-[vomits]" "Tempting-[ralphs]" "And of co-STOP VOMITING! And of course." he turned to the henchmen_

"_Naturally low in cholesterol." the said in unison_

"_Coming to your local store-[record scratches]-just as soon as that nasty old Mr. G Carl Francis, DECIDES TO GIMME MY LEGAL CUT OF THE PROFITS!" _We cutscene now to Francis's house where Detective Bullock, Chris Gordon, and a horde of police officers were watching the same commercial while trying to protect the bureaucrat.

"Change the damn channel!" Bullock ordered. An officer tried to

"Why, it's on every station."

"Get a tracer on that signal, and get me some hair gel-NOW!" Chris ordered

"Yes sir!"

"_I hope you've decided to change your mind Francis, because I haven't changed mine-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"_ Joker held up a stop watch

Nearly midnight...

"Relax Mr. Francis, I got men posted at every window and door, ain't no way anyone's sneaking in here tonight." chef said

"If I got in so easily." Batman came out from a corner and took off the police desguise "So will the Joker...9 times as brutal!"

"Hey-hey, this is police business, haul your bat butt outta here!" Chef ordered

"Chef wait, no one knows the Joker's methods better than Batman." Chris said putting the finishing touches on his hair. "He stays."

"Glory hogging long underwear geek." Bullock sneered. Batman walked towards Francis

"Uh, Batman, why is this happening to me...I-I never did anything to this Jo-ker, I'm just a pencil pusher I can't change the laws! I'm harmless!"

"And in his sick mind that's the joke Mr. Francis."

Just outside the house a fish truck with a smiling fish mascot on top, a smiling swardfish drove up.

"Feeling alright?" Batman asked

"Oh sure, it's just today has been so crazy, I didn't even have time to rinse off that gunk the Joker's girlfriend sprayed on me earlier-"

"GET THIS MAN TO A HOSPITAL-NOW!" he ordered just as the clock struck midnight. The fish launched from the truck, crashed through the window, and then spewed some kind of gas from it, Francis started to laugh uncontrollably...

"He-heh-heh—Ah-ha-Ah-ha-AHA-HA-HA-HA-[koosh]-aha-aha...ha...ha." Batman quickly injected him with an antidote syringe, and then he passed out.

"I don't get it, we all breathed the gas and we ain't smiling?" Chef questioned

"He didn't want us, that gas was part of a binary compound, the joker exposed the first part to Francis when he threatened him earlier." the TV turned on and Joker sat at a news desk.

"_This just in, former copyright director G. Carl Francis is taking an extended vacation." _Francis's picture smiled on the news poster _"Looks like he's having more fun already, but I'm not, and unless I get legal claim to my fish by 3 am the number 2 bureaucrat in Gotham Thomas Jackson will be the next to feel my wrath."_

We cutscene now to Jackson's house, the police, and Batman had just arrived. He had a plan.

"I just wanna go on record saying this Batman business is the lamest idea-"

"Dually noted detective." Gordon interrupted Chef "But were trying it Batman's way to protect Mr. Jackson..." . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Nearly 3 am, and not a cackle from that hyaena."

"Must have scared him off." Bullock shrugged. Suddenly his cat entered through the door, with a fish in it's mouth "What was that?"

"Just my cat." Jackson said

"A JOKER FISH!" Batman yelled.

"It's effecting him, quick contain it!" Chris ordered. Mr. Jackson leaped to catch it, but the cat went right to scratch...Batman?

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Jackson quickly injected him...turns out the two had switched places.

"Even drugged, the cat went straight for it's master." Batman sighed and took off his other costume.

"Oh this is just dandy commish! Your pet bat's playing dress up while the Joker's popping pencil pushers left and right! Well I'm waiting around another moment, I'm taking action!" Chef yelled, he stormed out

"Bullock!" Chris yelled

"Commissioner, have a look at this." Batman held up the Joker fish after he injected the cat with the antidote. "It's a Japanese Tang, not native to Gotham's cold waters."

"So where did it come from?" Chris asked

"Oh, I think I know..." Batman did one of his famous disappearing acts.

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Cartoongal11: Please...WRITE MORE! =)**

**GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!  
**


	21. The Laughing Fish, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Chef had an idea of where the fish came from. Fortunately and unfortunately, it was the right place.

The Gotham Oceanside aquarium...appropriately located on the boardwalk. It was closed for remodeling for quite sometime, so Bullock figured it'd be the perfect place to hide.

He walked through the seemingly empty place. He entered the tropical marine fish exhibit where he was greeted by walls of fish on both sides of the hallway. Suddenly Harley jumped from atop one of the fish tanks and pointed her obnoxiously large revolver at him.

"Freeze copper! I gotcha covered, see?"

"Well well, if it ain't laughing boy's little Hench wench, your outgunned maggot!"

"Oh do tell-[bang]" she fired a streamer round right at his chest, which tied him up

"Hey-what!" suddenly a large hook, clasped onto his trench coat and pulled him up.

It was Joker, wearing a fishing hat and sitting on a large chair attached to an extremely large fishing pole. Which held the detective right over the large shark tank exhibit.

"Woo! Lookie what I caught...hmm, kind of runty though, I'm gonna have to throw it back-aha-ha-ha-ha—ha-hah-hah-hah-hah-nah-nah-nah-hah-ha-ha." he started to lower the line towards the open tank

"You know Bullock, you may be a lousy cop, but you sure make a terrific worm-nah-nah-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

"You won't getaway with this you green haired punk!"

"Hmm, he's right ya know." Joker stopped reeling.

"What, you're kidding!" Harley asked surprised.

"AHHH!" he stopped just in time for the shark to jump at Chef, and miss.

"No I'm not Harl, I mean if this lunchmeat knows where we are that means Batman won't be far behind, and why spoil my sharky's appetite, when I can feed him bigger fish, hmm?" Joker reeled Chef up.

"Ugh, again with the fish, I hate those gross fish!" she turned to Joker giving her the look. "Uh-no offense Mistah J."

"Poor Harley, this caper's been kind of rough on you hasn't it." he patted her on the head.

"Uh-huh."

"Oh cheer up poo, you can be my very own little mermaid!"

"Oh-eeeeee!" she squeaked. Joker then plopped a fish head costume on her

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"You're really sick you know that boss!"

"Proud of it Princess-huh?" Joker's security alarm went off. He alerted his henchmen to shut off the lights, and have their harpoon guns ready...all while using a whoopie cushion to warn them.

Batman drove the Batmobile down the boardwalk. He launched a batling hook atop the roof of the aquarium and swung up towards the roof.

He accessed the tropical fish exhibit via a broken skylight window and gracefully repelled in. This took exactly 9 seconds. He scanned the room with the bat-light looking for anymore tang. He then heard the voice of-

"Now this fella here, came with his own grin." Batman shined the light which revealed Joker comparing himself to the shark. "See the resemblence, and check out my catch of the day." the lights went on. Harley was sitting in the fishing pole chair, Bullock was on the line with a Joker fish in his mouth as a gag, and Batman found himself surrounded by the henchmen.

"Bullock." Batman sighed

"[pi-tooey] I didn't need no bat computer to tell me that weird looking minnow came from an aquarium." he spat.

"Yes well, this is all tremendously boring, of course I could always amuse myself by watching old Harv here give my shark indigestion." Joker smiled

"Yeah!" Harley cheered

"No wait...forget Bullock Joker, take me, I'm the one you want." Batman insisted

"Hmm, and let my little guppy go hungry? I dunno, what do you think we could do about that?"

At the edge of the shark tank Batman was chained by the wrists. Joker sat the chair. Bullock was also at the edge.

"You're right Harley, fish are disgusting, I think I'm gonna use my toxin on cattle, Joker Burgers!" he took out a clump of raw ground beef "Talk about a happy meal-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-ha!" nothing from Batman "Oh you never could take a joke!" He kicked Batman into the shark tank. Batman quickly saw the shark and went dodging.

"He doesn't stand a chance against that monster!" Bullock yelled

"Yeah-catch!" he threw the meat at Bullock's hands, and the detective fell in with the bloody meat.

"Hmm-gahhhhhhhh!" Bullock yelled as he barely dodged the shark. Batman and Bullock went up for some air.

"Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk." Joker chuckled as he closed the sliding glass at the top of the tank, trapping them both in. about a head's worth of room separated the glass and the water.

"Well this is typical. I'll check for the shark." Bullock ducked under, it was heading their way

"AHHHHHHH! Found him!" he swam up

"Good!" Batman took a breath and dove under.

He jumped on the sharks back, got the chain in front of him, and got the chain inside the shark's mouth in order to throw him off. The shark tried to do just that by barrel rolling Batman around the tank. Joker simply admired the work from above.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-oh-ah-ha—HA-HA-HA-BLAH-HA-HAHAHAHA!"

Batman eventually got the shark to knock off a piece of coral which hit the glass below cracking it. The escaping water pressure caused the glass to break. The shark and Batman went through the window as the hallway filled with water. The shark's teeth, broke the cuffs on Batman. The water caused the shark to go through the exit, on the boardwalk, and right into the ocean below.

Joker noticed his Henchmen and his Hench-nut were knocked off kilter because of the blast.

"Oops, gotta run." the Clown Prince said. He got onto the chair and pressed a button which raised it to the roof.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-h-huh? Oh no-crash" should have put a collapsible roof there...gee you'd think he'd plan for that. Batman ran over to Chef who was coughing up some water.

"You alright?"

"Just...[cough cough]-just give him one for me will ya?" with not another word Batman hooked his way to the roof.

Joker was a little tipsy from the crash, he was walking like a drunk man about the roof.

"Ha-ha-ha-h-whoa-aha-ha-ha...ha-huh?" he noticed Batman behind him, Joker turned around and was met by his fist.

"[pow]-Ow!" he landed by a took box, and grabbed a wrench.

"[pwak] Ugh!" Joker hit Batman in the shoulder.

"Meanwhile, back at the wrench! Since my side splitters don't tickle you, how bout a skull splitter!" he raised the wrench and launched, however, Batman caught the wrench and grabbed it. Joker ran for the edge, right above the ocean.

"There's no place left to go Joker!"

"Hmm, buh-bye!" he jumped. Joker pulled a chord which inflated a duck floatation ring. "Ya see Batzy I think of everything-wha-WHOOOA!" he saw the shark in the ocean, they both went under...and neither came up.

Harley stood on the edge of the boardwalk sobbing, she dropped a joker playing card into the drink.

"Oh...Oh my poor-poor puddin."

"C'mon, he was an abusive, psychotic, twisted maniac." Bullock explained

"Yeah, I'm really gonna miss him!" she sobbed. Batman and Chris stood by the pier's edge.

"Do you really think he's gone for good?" Chris asked looking at himself in his spare mirror

"I hope so Chris, but somehow I doubt it."

The final scene is we see the shark come up and eat the joker card.

**THE END!**

**And that's the end of Season 1**

Uh, hello there, Bruce Timm, Executive producer and I directed this chapter. Well I hoped you enjoyed season 1 as much as we all here at Niko56 Studios did. Not to worry, Season 2 is on the way, watch out for the introductions of Penguin, Riddler, and Killer Croc. As well as more of your favorites, and especially, more Joker. Always REVIEW, and uh, Cartoongal11 please keep it up, if you have any questions you know where to find us. Bye now.

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr.: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Drew Nelson: **Joker

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Harley Quinn

**Mark Hamill: **Henchman #1, TV personalities

**Jeff Glen Bennett: **G. Carl Francis, Head Fisherman

**Maurice LaMarche: **Fisherman, Henchman #2

**Kevin Michael Richardson: **Fisherman, police officer

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Thomas Jackson

**Clancy Brown:** Salty Fisherman

**GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY**


	22. Author's Note

**This here is the OFFICIAL episode guide until the season 5 finale. Please refer to this, NOT the prologue for future episodes. For more questions, drop me a review. I do take anonymous. **

_**Season 2 (BY September 12th 2011)**_

**The Great Egg Hunt: Penguin (Intro)**

****Harley&Ivy: Joker, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy**

***Vendetta: Killer Croc (Intro)**

****If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Rich: Riddler (Intro)**

**Cat and Mouse: Catwoman, Mr. Freeze**

****Almost Got 'im: Joker, Two-Face, Penguin, Poison Ivy, Killer Croc, Catwoman, Harley Quinn**

**Two's A Crowd: Two-Face, Rupert Thorne**

****Harlequinade: Joker, Harley Quinn, Boxy Bennett (intro) **

**Fear Me!: Scarecrow, Mad Hatter**

****The Joker's Wild: Joker**

_**Season 3 (Beginning of October 2011) **_

****The Demon's Quest: Ra's Al Ghul, Talia Al Ghul (Intro, 4 part Episode)**

**Riddle Me This: Riddler**

**Birds of a Feather: Penguin, Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, Two-Face, Catwoman **

****Harley's Holiday: Harley Quinn, Boxy Bennett**

**Frozen Solid: Mr. Freeze, Catwoman **

***The Dummy Is I: The Ventriloquist (intro) **

****Bane: Bane (Intro), Rupert Thorne, Killer Croc **

***The Last Laugh: Joker, Bane, Mad Hatter**

**Crimson Claw: Red Claw (Intro) **

****Trial: All of Arkham Asylum **

_**Season 4 (will most likely begin in November 2011)**_

**The Not So Great Escape: Ventriloquist Penguin Harley Quinn Bane The Exterminator (intro)**

**Avatar: Ra's Al Ghul, Talia Al Ghul **

****Lock-Up: Scarecrow, Lock-up (intro)**

**Fish Tailed: Killer Croc, Mad Hatter, Joker, Catwoman**

****The Lion and the Unicorn: Red Claw**

***Puzzled: Riddler, Rupert Thorne **

**The Thorne Father: Rupert Thorne, Two-Face**

****Joker's Millions: Joker, Harley Quinn**

****Girls Nite Out: Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Catwoman, Red Claw, Talia Al Ghul **

**Contract: Lock-Up, The Exterminator, Every other villain (4 part episode)**

_**Season 5 (Will most likely begin in January 2012) **_

****Over The Edge: Scarecrow, Commissioner Gordon, Bane**

***Holiday Knights: Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Mad Hatter, Joker**

**I, Robot: Bionica (Intro), Two-Face**

**Sabotage: Poison Ivy**

**Inspector Batman: Dr. Claw (special guest appearance)**

**Grand Theft Cato: Catwoman**

**Verruckt: Dr. Hans Steinreich, Joker, Harley Quinn, Ventriloquist, Bane, Penguin, Red Claw**

****A Bullet For Bullock: Vinny the Shark, Nivens (both guest appearances) **

**Down On the Bayou: Killer Croc**

***A Frozen Secret: Mr. Freeze, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Dora Smithy (Intro, 4 Part Episode) **

****=An episode rewrite from the B:TAS franchise that is not very original to my own specifications **

***=An episode counterpart with bits and pieces from B:TAS and is semi-original to my own specifications**

**blank=A completely original episode with maybe one or two line archived in from B:TAS and is near completely original to my own specifications**

**I would also like to send my condolences to anyone who had loved ones lost on this day 10 years ago, my heart goes out to you all, Happy Patriots Day.**

**9/11/01-9/11/11  
**


	23. The Great Egg Hunt, Part I

**Villain: Penguin**

**Episode Archive: I've Got Batman In My Basement (1992)**

**Written By: Sam Graham & Chris Hubbell**

**Directed By: Frank Paur**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 11: The Great Egg Hunt**

The very fancy looking Owen Chesterfeild Cobblepot sat in his office at his club, the Iceberg Lounge, Gotham Cities fanciest Arctic themed lounge...Maybe the only.

[knock-knock-knock-knock-knock]

"Uh, Mr. Cobblepot? Boss?

"Huh? Come in." Penguin said. The guy entered.

"Sir?"

"Ah Jay good to see you, and uh...please call me Penguin."

"Uh...okay, why?"

"Eh I dunno, I don't write this." he took something from his desk. "Hello desk sandwich...[chomp-chomp-chomp] So, is there any whereabouts on that crystal egg I've had my eye on?"

"You mean the jade crystal egg, funny you should mention that. It's actually at the Sloan Auction today, nearly slipped my mind." Jay said

"Fabulous! What time is it?" Penguin asked taking a bite of his desk sandwich.

"Uh...oh-now."

"[spit-take]-WHAAAAAAAAT!" Jay wiped the residual sandwich bits from his face.

"Uh...ha-ha, sorry boss."

"You idiot, there's no time to lose! We must get to that auction post haste!" he got his multipurpose umbrella.

"Post haste? Seriously who writes this crap?" Jay asked

"I dunno, some fat kid from West Jersey, now let's hit the bricks already!" he grabbed the last bit of his desk sandwich.

Anyway the duo drove to the auction house along with Sparrow, Penguin's other henchman.

"Alright, now where are you..." he looked around the auction table, while simultaneously sampling some hors d'eouves...aw screw you openoffice I know I spelled it right! "Ah, there you are." he had his eyes on the egg.

"Sir if you would take a seat, were auctioning off this item next." the auctioneer said

"Alright then." Penguin took a seat.

"Ladies and gentlemen we have this lovely Jade and Crystal Egg up for auction today, it was forged in the Han dynasty in China, let's start the bidding at oh...$10,000?"

"10,000." Penguin said

"12,000." he turned to see a woman not far from him.

"15,000." he countered.

"20,000!"

"25,000!"

"30,000!"

"40!"

"50!"

"We have 50, do I hear 55?"

"I'll do one better then that my friend, how bout 60." Came Trent from the back of the room.

"Ha chicken feed, 75,000." Penguin said.

"Boss what are you doing, that's all the cash we brought." Jay whispered.

"Fret not my imbecilic henchman, that is what check books are for-"

"You forgot your check book boss." Sparrow reminded him

"W-What?"

"Yeah you grabbed your other desk sandwich by mistake, remember?"

"Curse my characters cliche! Oh well, there's no way that hag will-"

"$100,000." the lady said, the audience gasped.

"-Have. That. Much." Penguin sighed

"Do I hear anymore bids? Going once...going twice...then SOLD to the lovely Ms. Trina Brooks."

"Oh thank you...thank you." she ran up to retrieve her prize. Then walked away.

"Congratulations on your new egg Ms. Brooks." Trent shook her hand

"Oh, thanks Mr. Wayne, I adore these things, this one will complete my collection, I got the money from a settlement from my recent divorce."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." Trent sighed

"It's quite alright, it was nice running into you Mr. Wayne." she went for the exit.

"You too." Then a furious Penguin walked towards the crime fighting industrialist. "Mr. Cobblepot."

"Mr. Wayne."

"How goes the-"

"Great! Everything's great! Couldn't be more great, nice seeing you again Trent-oh, this is Jay and Sparrow."

"Yeah I see them at the club often."

"Yes, excuse me sir, but we really must be going." Trent had a sneaky suspicion, so he put a bat tracking device/bat listening ear on his coat. He started to listen in as the three headed for the Penguinmobile.

"_Great, I've spent years searching for that blasted eg-hey Sparrow you gonna finish that doughnut?"_

"_Sigh, well I was-"_

"_Thanks-[chomp-chomp-chomp]"_

"_Was saving it for later. Anyway boss, if you want that egg so bad why don't we just...persuade that woman to give it to us?"_

"_Oh please she looks like a true collector, and they hang onto these sorts of things...no-no gentlemen, and I use the term loosely, the only way to get that egg back, is to steal it."_

"_Ha-ha, now were talking boss." Jay said..._

"_Follow her car!" _

"Well it's a little early, but what choice do I have?" Trent shrugged. "Besides, it's half the fun."

Anyway the Penguinmobile was on the Gotham Interstate hot on the trail of the black Mercedes driven by Ms. Brooks.

"Ah, my dear little egg, I've got just the place for you...right on my mantle next to my ship in a bottle and my divorce papers-[bump]-what the?"

"Hit her again!"

"You got it boss-[bump]"

"Whoa, crazy maniac!" Ms. Brooks yelled

The cars got alongside each other, Ms. Brooks saw exactly who was perusing her.

"You! That fat guy who was that bidding war with me at the auction! Well, I can assure you, you won't get my egg, no sir!"

"Oh, we beg to differ!" Jay snickered bumping into her car yet again.

"Ugh, blasted egg hunters!" it was her turn to bump them

"Whoa! Jay!"

"On it boss!" [BUMP]

"And another thing, I'm not fat, just very big boned!" Penguin yelled "Lemme show you just how big boned I am-[ponk]-OWWWWWW! Mommy! It hurts!" He tried to punch open the passengers side window to her car...didn't work.

"You alright boss?" Sparrow asked

"Never better, cause I got this! He pressed a button on the top of his umbrella which activated a chainsaw attachment.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Oh my-[ker slice]!"

"Gotcha!" he grabbed the egg

"No! My Egg!" -[Bump]

Jay bumped her car one last time, only this time she went right into the guard rail on the freeway. Her car stalled.

"NOOOOOO!" Penguin drove away...but who should appear blasting in the nick of time?

"Gasp, Batman!"

"You alright miss?" He had on a new outfit, this one with kevlar steel plats in some places, and a Batwing jet pack with a wrist control that fires missiles from the wings.

"I'm fine, just get me my egg!"

"We'll do, in the meantime I suggest calling AAAA." he gave a quick salute and flew towards the Penguinmobile. Penguin admired the egg.

"Ah, beautiful...And you know the best part gentlemen?"

"It's free?" Sparrow asked

"No you boob it's free-oh...yeah, v-very good Sparrow, yeah it's free."

Jay looked into the mirror and saw a flying Batman coming close.

"Uh-oh, Boss, we gotta Bat!"

"Huh?" he turned around "So, the caped coconut." Penguin poked his head out the window. "A little early today, aren't we Batman?"

"You know why I'm here Cobblepot, hand over the egg, and give yourselves up!"

"Now ask yourself Bat-First of all it's Penguin now-But ask yourself Batman, how often does asking nicely ever work?"

"Eh, it's always worth a shot!"

"A shot huh? Well if it's a shot you want!" Penguin pressed a button and from the trunk released a round of missiles.

"Aw crud!" Batman quickly dodged all the missiles. "Ha! Eat Sh*t Sucka!"

What the...that wasn't in the script-Eric, who did the teleplay?

Uh...Wasn't Paul-

No wasn't Dini he's been busy with his Spider-man stuff...uh, I got Bruce working on the next episode-

Oh you know who it was, Butch Hartman-

Really?

Yeah.

Get out!

No seriously, Alan hired him the other day as a freelance to help our artists, and uh; he had a good knack for script editing so, yeah we let him do the teleplay.

Oh alright, tell Butch when you get a chance to ease up on the cussing, this is still a kids show.

We'll do boss.

Thanks Radomski.

Alright anyway Batman had his own firepower.

"Brace yourselves!" with the press of a button he launched two missiles from the top of the wing, they just missed "Dammit!"

"Ha, nice miss loser, now eat this!" Penguin let a purple gas emerge from the trunk. It clouded Batman's sight "Adieu Batzy!"

"Aw no-cough-cough-cough-cough-" he eventually emerged from the smokey mess. "Ah, well that's more like i-AHHHHHHHHH!" he realized he was on the othe rside of the road and heading for an oncoming police car.

"AHHHHHHH-[crash]" they both slowed down in time however Batman just slammed his head into the familiar windshield.

**TO BE CONTINUED! PLEASE REVIEW!  
**

**Cartoongal11: WHERE IS IT? Just wondering...[puppy dog eyes]  
**


	24. The Great Egg Hunt, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Batman rolled to the street after smashing his face into the windshield of Courtney Montoya's car. Chef was also with her.

"Oh my God Harvey I think I just hit Batman!" Courtney cringed

"Quick, hit him again Montoya, he's still breathing!"

"Ergh! Oh shut up!" she stepped from the car just as Batman stood up. "Batman are you okay?"

"NICE! Never better!" he said nearly falling over. Chef appeared from the car.

"Afternoon Freak, you do realize it's still daylight, right?"

"Bullock, still fat and annoying as ever ya, cheap bastard!"

"Ouch." Bullock said

"Sorry, maybe it's the concussion, maybe it's cause Butch Hartman's doing the teleplay, I dunno, that was way out of context." Batman slurred

"Yeah, uh...why were you flying on the wrong side of the road at super sonic speed?" Courtney asked

"Ugh, Owen Cobblepot."

"The guy who owns the Iceberg?" Chef asked

"Yeah, stole some rare crystal egg...thing?"

"Why?" Courtney asked

"I dunno cause he likes birds, or something to that effect. Heck he's even calling himself the penguin now."

"Why that?" Chef asked

"I dunno I don't write this stuff."

"Well then, I guess we'll have to catch him. Trouble is, where would he go to?" Courtney asked

"Well I think I have an idea. And uh, we better get a move on...were...kinda holding up traffic." Batman pointed behind the two to see their police cruiser had a parade of angry motorists behind them.

Anyway Montoya drove the three to The Iceberg lounge. The club doesn't open until 6 so the place was closed. But that won't stop them.

"Alright, let's get to work." Batman said.

"Now hold up there Cowl Head, you're rolling with us, and uh, we use these little things called warrants to search places." Chef explained

"Ya know I didn't even plan on going in anyhow, I think this concussion is getting worse."

"Wait wait...you mean, were doing this by ourselves?" Courtney asked...sort of afraid

"Looks like it." Batman put on a small smile.

"Well how bout that!" Bullock took out his gun "C'mon Montoya!"

"But-but, what about all that talk about warrants!"

"Courtney do I ever do what I'm supposed to do?"

"No."

"Good, besides I only said that so old Bat Head would stay out of this one. Now come on!"

"Ugh, s-sorry Batman, will you be okay?"

"Sure, I'll just hang here, holler if you need me." The two went for the front door, Batman of course had some other plans.

Penguin and his bird named cronies stood in his office staring at the final crystal egg to complete his collection. Penguin of course was eating another desk sandwich.

"Gaze at it gentlemen, a stark beauty to behold...seriously who writes my lines?" he asked taking a bite.

"It sure is a beauty boss." Jay said

"Oh yeah, it really brings out the...uh...uh...-"

"Color! Yeah the color in the office."

"Yeah-yeah what Sparrow said."

"Thank you fellas, I just wanted to thank you for today and-LEAVE ME! I have lots of work to do."

"You mean with all the extortion, the racketeering, the money laundering?"

"Yes Jay, thanks why don't you say that a little louder I don't think they heard you in METROPOLIS!"

"Ha-ha, he got you good Jay."

"Oh shut-up." they left the office.

See Penguin didn't just jump into the whole evil thing willy nilly. Anyway he counted his loot from all his various rackets the club provided. While enjoying his sandwich and staring at his egg.

"Ah, life is good. And all it took was was 20 minutes...or...like, 30 minutes, ah who cares, who needs math when I have money."

Anyway Courtney and Chef managed to sneak inside the vast club. They first noticed the very large ice pool with all kinds of seals and of course penguins in it.

"Well this place sure is as nice as everyone says." Courtney whispered

"I know, his waiting lists start in like July and go to Christmas 2020." So when you read this 9 years from now, you can get in.

"Yeah I know, but it is nice." Courtney approached the edge of a pool. "How does he get all these arctic animals?"

"Money?"

"Sure...now where is he?"

"Oh, why don't you just ask us." Jay and Sparrow came out of nowhere.

"Hey thanks-oh...hey, you work for Cobblepot don't you?" Courtney asked

"Oh it's Penguin now." Sparrow added

"So we hear. Alright maggots, the jig is up! Where's the egg?"

"Egg, what egg?" Jay asked

"The one we just stole idiot!"

"Sparrow, don't tell them that!"

"Ohhhhhhhhh,"

"You guys aren't the best of henchmen." Chef chuckled.

"Well, Detective Bullock, you're not the best yourself.

"Hey, you guys know me!"

"And me, don't forget me!"

"Uhhhhhhh..."

"Ohhhhhh-errrrrrr-nope."

"Not a clue."

"Oh come on! Detective Courtney Montoya!"

"Nah."

"Not ringing any bells."

"AHHHHHHHH!"

"Oh, now you got her mad." Bullock shook his head

"You...I AM IMPORTANT! More competent than this fat slob-no offense Harv you I love you, but let's face it you're a nightmare-AND YOU TWO, on the ground! NOW!"

"Yup, she mad."

"I said-GROUND!"

"Okay, okay." the two got to the floor. Suddenly the office door flung open.

"What's all the racket!" Penguin yelled.

"You, EGG!"

"Jeez, what's got into her?" Penguin asked

"Oh you know shes got a little PM-what"

"Hey!" Jay and Sparrow tied them up with throwing bolas and they hit the floor.

"Ha-ha-ha. Well-well-well, this...this is who they sent. You gotta be kidding me, well detectives, how bout I give you the grand tour."

"Oh that sounds very nice, but we respectively decline." Courtney chuckled

"Uh, we really don't have a-"

"I know Harv, I know."

Anyway the two were suspended and tied up above the giant iceberg in the middle of the pool. Penguin and his boys stood off to the side.

"Okay, Thought you both would enjoy a nice dip in the pool."

"Oh, and me without my trunks."

"Ha-ha, very amusing Bullock. But seriously me, along with a the greatest animal experts in the city have altered the DNA of my seals and Penguins here...they will be feasting on your flesh."

"Gulp." the two gulped.

"Detective Bullock, Detective Montoya...it's been a pleasure, but I must bid you adieu."

"Please Peng-HAA! HA! Yeah I knew someone would get my name right!"

"Uh, we may not have time to gloat Montoya, because were getting closer to the berg, and so are the penguins!"

"Ha-ha-ha, Jay, Sparrow, you should see them sq...what the?" he turned to see his two henchmen tied up. "How did you-GASP." he noticed Batman on the restaurant floor above.

"Your not one to pick henchmen Penguin." he held up the egg.

"THE EGG!"

"You know you want it Penguin...the detectives for the egg. Your choice."

"You wouldn't Batman, do you know how much that thing is worth!"

"Apparently $100,000, so I've been told."

"Oh come on! Oh fine, gimme the egg!"

"Hey Penguin...catch!" he tossed the egg.

"NOOOOOOO!" He managed to catch it. "Whew, gotcha."

Batman grabbed the grappling hook and swung to grab the detectives. Just as the police arrived.

"Freeze!"

"Police!" Later the detectives were talking to the Dark Knight.

"Thank you Batman, what happened to that concussion?" Courtney asked

"Oh, you know...it passed."

"ergh...mmhnm." Bullock grumbled.

"Harvey, don't you wanna tell Batman something?"

"Ugh...thanks for saving us Bats, we'd be dead without you."

"Anytime, keep up the good work, this city needs you both as much as me, I'll be seeing ya."

"Yeah thanks, hey-huh?" they turned their heads for one second to see him pull one of his famous Houdinis.

**THE END!**

**Alright, glad you enjoyed, PLEASE REVIEW! Cartoongal11: I loved it keep it up, and uh, yeah stay tuned for Harley&Ivy coming up next!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Bullock

**Emilie Clare-Barlow: **Detective Montoya

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Penguin

**Rob Paulsen: **Jay, police officer

**Corey Burton: **Sparrow

**Kath Soucie: **Ms. Brooks

**James Arnold Taylor: **Auctioneer, police officer

**Niko56:** Myself

**Eric Radomski: **Himself


	25. Harley&Ivy, Part I

**Villain(s): Joker, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy**

**Episode Counterpart: Harley&Ivy (1993)**

**Written By: Paul Dini**

**Directed By: Boyd Kirkland**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 12: Harley&Ivy**

Twas one of those evenings in Gotham. Batman was chasing a black and purple tinted convertible through the streets. Harley Quinn drove the vehicle while Joker sat in the back, relaxed as ever. See, you thought he was dead. But he's NOT

"Ah, the wind in my hair and the Batman at my heels! Oh how I love it! It's the kind of night that that makes you happy to be alive, right Harley girl?"

"S-s-s-sure Mistah J." she said nervously trying to look back at him while simultaneously paying attention to the accelerator, the dash, and the road...

As if she didn't have enough to worry about with tying shoes. Anyway, Batman was closing in on the couple.

"Quick, turn here!" Joker ordered

"But-but boss that's-"

"I said turn!"

"Y-yes sir!" Joker leaned back to relax, until, they hit the unfinished dirt hill.

"What-WHOAAAAA-[bong-crack-veroom]" He flew into the passengers seat, and eventually the unfinished dirt hill became paved road again.

Joker climbed back into the back seat, not very happy at Harley.

"You dimwitted idiot! Why didn't you tell me someone put a hill there!"

"I-I tried but-"

"Never mind you stuttering ditz, just hand me the gun!"

"Yes sir!"

"Come on come on! He's gaining!"

"Yes Puddin'"

Harley handed Joker a rather large revolver with a long barrel, much like a .44 Magnum on steroids. Joker aimed at the closely approaching Batmobile.

"Hey Batzy! This is where I leave you flat-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha! [BANG] Huh?" It was a gag gun that shot a 'bang' flag. "Sonofabitch!" In rage he threw the gun into the windshield just missing Harley's head.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!-[crash]-Ha-ha, ya didn't say which gun."

"Harley you useless bimbo!"

Suddenly Batman launched a hook and winch cord from the front and latched onto Joker's bumper, he tried to stall em and then pull the car in.

"Come on-come on, MOVE IT!" Joker ordered

"I'm trying Mistah J, really!"

"DO SOMETHING YOU PINHEAD!"

"Ergh! Hey if he wants the car so badly he can have it!"

Harley pressed a button which released the trunk and back bumper. The resulting momentum threw the Batmobile back, nearly going over the side of the freeway. The bumper hung down, Batman was stalled. All he could do was watch them drive away.

"Next time clown." he said.

We cutscene now to Laff City, an old and closed...and seemingly abandoned comedy club. Now Joker's new lair. The two returned home, where Joker henchmen Rocco and Henshaw were waiting. Harley went about her chores, feeding Bud and Lou, his hyaenas.

"No we didn't get the diamonds! The Dork Knight chased us before we could even get to the museum!" Joker explained "I had a great shot at him too except...my dear little Harley Quinn gave me the wrong GUN!"

"Aw but Puddin, it was kinda cute and funny watching you shoot at him with the uh...uh bang flag." the henchmen chuckled, Joker was not amused, he approached his ditz.

"FUNNY! FUNNY!" Harley backed against the wall ready to cry and regretting her last sentence. "You presume to tell ME what I should think is funny! In fact, when have you EVER contributed a worth while endeavor or idea for this gang, hmm?"

"Uh-er-uh...uh..." don't strain yourself now "Oh well I did get us away from Batman."

"Oh huzzah! The kid gets lucky and she wants a metal!" Joker fumed, he turned back to Harley. "Maybe I should just let you call the shots-maybe you're a better criminal then the rest of us put together!"

"Maybe." she said a little too proud. "Er-I mean, not." she whispered starring at an angry Joker

"Errrrahhhhhhhhgggggh!" He gave Harley the boot.

Literally, I mean he literally just kicked her right out the back door. Gave her the big designer tote bag she had, then slammed the door shut.

"Ahhhhh-[thud]. Fine I'll go, but you'll be sorry! I'll make my own gang and pull off a big heist and then I'll be laughing atcha! Ha-ha...ha." she walked away. "I miss him already."

Anyway to prove Lindsey-er, Harley isn't incredibly hopeless, we cutscene you now to the Gotham Museum of Natural history, the place where the two tried to break into a little earlier.

Harley roped in from above then saw her prize on the other end of the room. She nticed a very high tech laser grid guarded it. Being an amazing gymnast, she did flips and cartwheels until she was right in front of the display case.

"The Harlequin diamond, valued at $3,000,000-oh Mistah will just plotz when I give him-...No, I'm keeping it for myself...maybe."

She reached into her tote and picked out a glass cutter, to carefully-

[braaaaaaaaaaaaang, braaaaaaaaaaaaang] The alarm sounded. Harley saw someone moving awfully fast carry a box down a few corridors.

"Aw the hell with it." she grabbed her right gun and smashed the glass, grabbing the diamond and running for the exit.

The person tripping the alarm was none other then the beautifully crazy Poison Ivy. She ran for the exit only to see two cop cars pull up. With no warning Harley grabbed her by the hand and pulled her away from the doors.

"Nice going butterfingers! Why don't you just light the Bat-Signal while you were at it!"

"Rude much-And I wasn't trying to get caught!" Ivy defended

"Could have fooled me. Hey aren't you that plant lady...uh...er...Oh-Poison Oakey?"

"Ivy! Poison IVY!"

"Sorry, Harley Quinn pleased to meetcha!"

The cops broke into the locked door. And the duo raced across the museum floor to a viking ship exhibit where Detective Courtney Montoya was the first to spot them.

"FREEZE!"

Brief Cutscene to Arkham Asylum. To Tyler Fries.

"Really? Ugh, why couldn't I have been blasted with sand...there's no puns for that."

And were back. The duo ran into the dinosaur exhibit

"This isn't the best way to get acquainted...I mean not that your not totally hot or anything, but still...got any ideas?" Ivy asked. Harley looked at the box Ivy stole.

"Hmm, whatcha got in the bottles?"

"Plant toxins from the museum labs."

"Works for me." Harley connected the bottle to the muzzle of the gun and fired. [bang-crack-fizzz] the cops coughed. Ivy even bull rushed Courtney on their way out.

"Stop in the name of the-aw!"

"Not tonight baby!" they ran outside. "Wow, sexy and brilliant, you're the whole package dollface." Ivy said with a little slap on Harley's ass.

"Gee, you really think so?"

"Yup, come on, we'll take my car."

"What car?" Ivy took off some brush over the car to act as a shrubbery camouflage.

"Oh, that car." It was Ivy's convertible named 'Rosebud' the two drove away triumphantly. "I think this will be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"Thanks, I think so too."

Anyway Ivy lived in Gotham Acres, a suburb project which was condemned do to a river of toxic waste moving through the center of the suburb. Ivy lived in one of the few finished houses. She needed to treat Harley with an immunization in order to keep her immune. Needless to say Harley wasn't so happy about it.

"Oh...I hate shots, I haaaaaate shots!" she wailed

"Now-now, you're not immune to poisons like I am, and you won't last one week here in toxic acres without my antidote."

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-ee." done. She rolled down her sleeve. "Gee, you think with living with Mistah J I'd be used to a little pain." no kidding.

"Can I ask you something cutie-pie, why do you put up with that clown?"

"Now don't get me wrong, my Puddin's a little rough sometimes...okay all the time-but he loves me, he really does."

"Yeah sure he does, you're just one big forgiving doormat!" Ivy said moving to a plant chair she made.

"Hey, I'm no doormat! . . . Am I?"

"Ha, if you'd have a middle name it'd be welcome." she saw Harley well up a little. With a little command she nudged a vine to tie Harley up a little and move her closer to herself.

"Now cheer up Harley...you just a little woman's self esteem." she grabbed the clown girl in a few carressable areas. "In other words, let's play with the boys...on our terms." and then, just like that, a big old slobbery kiss. YEAH BUDDY!

The following evening the two went to the Gotham Perrigerinator's club. (A club for adventurers...men only) It was their round table meeting night.

"Alright gentlemen, if that's it for old business I suggest we move on with old b-"

"Now wait just a sec there chairman." Ivy walked in. the guys muttered to each other. "Evening boys...at least I think you are-"

"Now see here lady, is this some kind of joke?"

"The Joke my dear chairman is this awful, out-of-date, sexist excuse for a men's club. Now I ask you fellas, what kind of "adventurers" refuse to admit women?" while they muttered and fumed it distracted Harley who laid down some growing vine pods, which sprouted up and tied each of them up.

"Still, if it's excitement you boys crave." Ivy chuckled

"What the?"

"Hey!"

"What!"

"Now that should keep you big strong men busy while we weak wiitle girls, woot you're twophy woom." Ivy said in baby speak.

"Gee Red, you got style." Harley said hugging her new companion.

"This is true." the girls left the room, poised to begin their crime spree.

**TO BE CONTINUED...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**To Cartoongal11: Where is it? More pleeeeeeease! Suspense, action, drama, sexy, lesbians! Somebody STOP ME!**


	26. Harley&Ivy, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

As the spinning newspaper cliche will show you, the two definitely deserved the names "Gotham's new Queens of Crime" Spending the next several weeks stealing various items, money, jewels, and of course rare plants.

Anyway, twas a usual evening for the duo. Izzy had put their latest newspaper clipping on their fridge. Yeah cause instead of a good report card, or some other accomplishment, you have your criminal exploits.

Where as Lindsey was setting the table for dinner. Izzy was wearing a one size fits all T-shirt, and nothing else, whereas Lindsey was wearing a man shirt...and nothing else. (That's what it looks like in the episode.

"Ooh, whatcha make, whatcha make?" Lindsey asked excited.

"Steamed chard and beet juice, yum! It'll put some hair on your balloons kid, I know." She set out their leafy dinner, and juices.

"Gee green, my favorite color, sigh." Lindsey mixed her food into Joker's face, and used the beet juice to make his red smile. "N-no offense Red, but I'm ot so hungry, somehow I don't feel like my perky self, something's missing." Izzy knew exactly what that meant, she slammed her fork onto Lindsey's plate.

"Will you cut it out already, I can't believe you're still looming over that psychotic creep, besides, I thought we had something special, a crazy hot relationship!"

"Yeah, we do...but I'd feel better if I knew he missed me too."

oh P.S. Whenever NOT in costume, I'll refer to the character's as their actual names, to make it less confusing.

At Laff city, Duncan was fuming, rifling through his drawers in just a wife beater and his pokadot boxers.

"HARLEY! Ugh, this place is going to blinking blue blazers, damn that woman!" Duncan fumed throwing various clothes to the floor. He walked out to the main room where Rocco and Henshaw were having some dinner.

"Anyone seen my socks? Harley! Where are ya you stupid woman!-"

"Grrrrr!" his hyaenas growled at him.

"Ergh! Stupid animals!" he hissed "I can't believe they snubbed at me! What's going on Roc? The place is a mess, no ones fed the hyenas, and I can't find my socks! Where's Harley?"

"Ya...ya canned her boss, remember?" Rocco said sheepishly.

"So, shes always come back before!"

"Well I...I guess you ain't seen the papers then." Henshaw added

"Papers, what papers, we haven't done anything in over a...new queens of crime?" he read the headline. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed so loud the closed sign on Laff City fell off.

Later that evening Harley and Ivy were being pursued by Courtney Montoya after another successful bank robbery.

"Eat this copper!" Ivy launched an arrow from her wrist crossbow and it hit right on the left front tire, stopping Courtney in her tracks.

"I'll get you for this! Mark my words! MARK THEM!"

"Later loser!" Ivy blew her a kiss.

"Sigh, I remember when I would go driving like this with Mistah J."

"Mistah J – Mistah J- oh change the record Harl! You wanna be some wakko's victim the rest of your life?" Ivy mocked

"Well-"

"Besides gorgeous, remember...we have each other." she cupped Harley's chin.

"Yeah." that's not reassuring.

Anyway when they drove off someone got a sample of the skid marks their tires made-BATMAN, hey there he is, I knew he'd be here eventually, what did he have like one line? Jeez it's like the second act.

Anyway, at the Bat-Cave Batman was going over the sample while at the same time finding information on the Queens of crime.

"Choosing a weekend date sir?" Alfred asked

"Not hardly." he sat back in his chair, scratching his chin. "This is one sister act that's hard to follow Alfred." He got hi guitar to play a little blues. "And look at this?"

"The tire sample or the fact you should have taken more of those guitar lessons?"

"...The sample Alfred. It has the same contents you would find in a toxic waste dump."

"Well then Master Trent, might I recommend an accessory this evening?" he held up a gas mask cowl. The caped crusader smirked and nodded.

Later, Lindsey called Joker knowing Izzy was tending to the garden. Joker was sitting at his desk at Laff City. Reading a dirty magazine.

"WHAT!"

"Um...Mistah J?"

"Harley?" Joker tossed the magazine aside.

"Hi Puddin, you...you still angwy with me?" she asked in a baby voice.

"Ohhhhhh...baby, sweetie, princess, pumpkin pie, you I can't hold a grudge...WHERE ARE YOU!"

"I'm with a friend, but I'm okay-oops, I gotta go, I'll talk to you soon." Lindsey hung up.

"Sooner then you think-ha-ha-ha-ha." he traced the call.

"Who was that?" Izzy asked a little suspicous

"Oh uh...tele-doctor-wrong number?" -[crash]" Batman slammed into their sliding glass doors.

"Evening ladies. Playtime's over."

"Well well Harley, if it isn't our favorite Bat-[crack]" Izzy threw down the plant she was working on, which sprouted it's vines and tied up Batman.

"Ugh...unh...eragh!"

"Aw, poor Bats, all dressed up." Izzy said

"And no place to go! Yes!"

With Batman captured the two had chained him up to the back of a table, while chaining him with a bunch of kitchen appliances. The positioned the table over the hill of the toxic river.

"Here we have the typical male aggressor, fittingly imprisoned within the confines of female servitude."

"And quite frankly folks, he's never looked better." Harley aid taking off the gas mask.

"Admit it Bats, you honestly didn't think two women were ever capable of bringing you down." Ivy smirked

"Man or womwn, a sick mind is capable of anything."

"A very amusing statement Batman...we'll carve it on your headstone-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Aloha sucker!" Harley pushed the table right into the toxic river. The two shared a kiss then turned to the house.

"Hey Red, did you leave the lights on?" Harley asked

"Uh, no; I thought you did." Uh-oh.

The duo entered the house to find Rocco and Henshaw eating the food they had set out that evening. And Joker was right next to them.

"My-my, haven't you dykes been the busy little beavers." he chuckled

"Puddin! You found me!" Harley ran up to him, giving him a hug.

"So much for self esteem." Ivy sat by the bumbling henchmen. "I hope you dopes realize you're sitting on a toxic dump, I reckon you have 5, maybe 10 minutes before the fumes do you in."

The henchmen coughed out all their food.

"Shes right boss...I feel kinda...sick." Rocco coughed

"Hold it in Rocco!" Joker ordered. "I'm only here to collect what's mine." he cupped Harley's chin.

"EEEEEE!" she squeaked happily.

Anyway underneath the toxic waters Batman was able to get out of his chains and make it to the surface. Thankfully, he immunized himself before entering the neighborhood.

Joker had laid out their loot, while Rocco and Henshaw held the two.

"Woo...look at the goodies!"

"That's ours you louse!" Ivy yelled angrily trying to get free of Henshaw.

"Oh Izzy, I wouldn't leave you empty handed..." he approached Ivy. Harley knew what he was going to do. "Since you like flowers so much..."

"Oh Puddin, no!" Joker pushed Harley aside

"You can have mine!" he threw Ivy's head into the poison lapel Joker had on his Jacket.

"No...Red." Harley teared up.

"Ah-ah-ah-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! It's doesn't affect me." the redhead smiled, then she kicked Joker right in the no-no's.

"OW!" She then knocked the other two about the house, then grabbed Harley by the wrist. "Come on!" Joker managed to get up.

"Get em." he squealed.

Harley and Ivy ran to their car. Just as Rocco and Henshaw confronted them both, with a Tommy gun. Before they could shoot, Batman jumped down on them both. The girls smirked, and crashed into Joker's car as they drove off.

Rocco had thrown Batman behind a wall, just as Joker walked out. He grabbed the Tommy.

"Nice work fellas. Oh Batzy! -[rapid fire.] he shot at Batman who was behind a wall.

"Stop shooting you lunatic, were sitting on a powder keg!" that was all Rocco and Henshaw needed to hear before they took off.

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" his shots hit some barrels of waste, which exploded, causing a fiery chain reaction. "Whoops, dopey me." the fire picked up tremendous wind, so much so it knocked a board off of a house, and hit Joker right in the head.

"Wha-[thunk]-unh." Batman used the Bat-remote to call the Batmobile to his location from where he parked it.

He tossed the unconscious Joker in the passengers seat and quickly drove away as the toxic fore consumed the entire complex. But now back to Harley and Ivy who were escaping down the road.

"Ha! No man can take us prisoner!" Ivy yelled. a set up if I ever heard one. Someone had shot their left front tire, the car skidded off the road...And out approached COURTNEY, with a shotgun.

"Alright ladies, raise em." And no man ever will...for now.

At Arkham Duncan was in his cell fuming, while outside Lindsey and Izzy were attending to the Asylum's garden together.

"Ugh, that's right, next time I start a gang, no women...YOU HEAR ME! NO WOMEN!" he called outside

"I think we can still work it out...don't you?" Lindsey asked Izzy, who tossed some dirt into her face.

**THE END! **

**To Cartoongal11: LOVED IT! Me brain needs more smut! Wait that came out wrong.**

**Alright folks, please drop me a review! Killer Croc is up next, stay tuned.**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**David McCallum: **Alfred

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Courtney Montoya

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Drew Nelson: **Joker

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Harley Quinn

**Katie Crown: **Poison Ivy

**Mark Hamill: **Rocco, guy

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Henshaw, guy

**Townsend Coleman: **Chairman

**Frank Welker: **Bud, Lou, various

PEACE!


	27. Vendetta, Part I

**Villain: Killer Croc**

**Episode Archive: Vendetta (1992)**

**Written By: Michael Reaves**

**Directed By: Frank Paur**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 13: Vendetta**

Originally I had planned to go with the original episode...Now I think I'll try something else.

Batman landed on the roof of Police HQ. Thinking Commissioner Gordon had called him on the Bat-Signal.

"Commissioner?"

"No Bats, it's me." Chef came out from the darkness.

"Bullock?"

"Yeah...I need your help."

"Then this must be serious..."

"It is." Chef walked towards the edge of the roof "It's Montoya."

"Courtney...what's wrong, i-is she in trouble?"

"Yeah...but she shouldn't be. Bats someone set her up. And I'm not sure who."

"What's the crime?"

"Kidnapping...I mean, Courtney...she would never but the Commish' and that strutting new DA Fool Van Dorn think shes guilty as they come. Times like this where I miss Al." Bullock lit a cigarette.

"Harvey...I'll do what I can, what do you know?" Batman asked

"Not much...See they think I'll try and do something stupid so I didn't get so much information...They were right to not trust me, all I know is they're transporting her right now by boat across the river to Stonegate."

"Hmm...I'll have Batgirl and Robin watch over the transport, in the meantime...what did Courtney do before she joined you in Vice and SCU?" Batman asked

"She was a fashion designer at some cosmetics firm in South Gotham. They're not in business anymore."

"Well I think there would be a good place to find some clues."

"We...as in...a partnership with you?" Bullock asked

"Why not, we both don't want to see Courtney up the river...let's do it."

"Batman, we-"

"I know we don't like each other but listen! Clearly this person is no amateur! I was just at Arkham, everyone from my rogues gallery is there! This is someone new and someone that knows what they're doing. So maybe working together is what we need, now, ask yourself this Harvey Bullock what kind of partner would you be...to let her slip away, because of our petty differences?"

Bullock gave a slight chuckle and flicked his cig off the roof, he turned to the caped crusader just as the rain fell.

"You're a f*cking piece of work, you know that Pointy Ears?" Chef asked. Batman gave a smirk.

"Come on, we'll take my car."

The two drove down the city, while Batman got on a vid conversation with Batgirl and Robin.

"Courtney Montoya? Never, she wouldn't ever kidnap anyone."

"Never the less there's some concrete evidence against her, Bullock and I are on our way to her old business."

"Okay, so who did Montoya illegibly kidnap?" Robin asked

"Mayor Hill, no one sure why, but he is missing and all the evidence points to her." Bullock explained.

"Alright, we'll watch over the transport to make sure it goes smoothly." Batgirl assured him.

"Good, I'll talk to you both later, Batman out." transmission ended.

Chef examined the Batmobile a little bit.

"Damn Cowl Head this things nice...hey what does this one do?" he reached for a red button.

"Passenger ejector seat."

"Okay, not touching that."

"So...Chef...how did you get that name?" Batman asked

"Eh, I was a prison chef upstate, it just stuck."

"Right...so...Prison Chef-"

Okay to fill out this awkward moment, we now go to the docks, where Courtney was being loaded onto her prisoner transport boat. Needless to say, she wasn't taking her conviction well.

"NOOOOOO! No-no-no-no-no-no-no!"

"Courtney, you know what the...judge...said." Chris tried to force her onto the boat.

"Commissioner! I didn't kidnap the mayor, honest! I'm being framed! IT'S A FRAME JOB!"

"Courtney of course I believe you...but the judge says otherwise and I like my job so...ha-ha, kinda in a dilemma here-but not to worry Montoya, we'll get you an appeal asap, you'll never know you're there."

"CHRIS!-[slam]" the door slammed, Chris walked back onto the dock.

"Whew, shes pissed, ya know I should probably get her that appeal."

Anyway the boat drove into the stormy waters of the Gotham River to Stonegate Prison on the other side. Courtney sat on her bench chained to it.

"Stupid Chris...Stupid judge, I never did anything wrong!" she fumed "And what's worse it seems like my only partner abandoned me." she sobbed. "Dammit Harvey!" On the East Borough Bride, Batgirl and Robin sat on the edge poised to strike.

"You think anything is gonna happen?" he asked

"I dunno Cody...your guess is as good as mine, but knowing our luck-"

"I know Bridge, I know...I know."

Watching the boat via periscope was a mini submarine piloted by an unknown crew.

"Alright boss, Montoya is in the transport...shall we strike?" the sub commander asked to an unknown person over radio.

"_Go for it...I just need to pick up a few things from an old job first, I'll be with you shortly."_

"Copy that, end transmission. Alright boys, ready the torpedo."

"Ha-ha yes! Finally some action!"

"Ready...aim...and..." JUST SAY FIRE! READ THE GOT DAMNED SCRIPT! "Fire."

Thank you.

The torpedo headed on a crash course to the bottom of the police boat. In the engine room, two armed guards noticed some creaking.

"Hey...Maclin...Mac...you hear that?"

"I sure do-[creak]...the hell do you think it is?"

"I don't know, come on." the two drew their guns and approached the hull.

"Eh, I dunno Bloom, it's an old ship, shes probably just-[BOOM-sploooooooooosh]"

"What the!" the Captain noticed the vessel take a boom, then a dive. "Dammit! Maclin, Bloom, do you read me! Crap, were sinking!" another office ran into the bridge!

"Captain, were sinking!"

"NOOOOOO! What gave you that idea Connors! Just make sure the prisoner is...whoa!"

Suddenly the Sub rose to the surface, taking the front of the ship with it. Three henchmen emerged from the hatch, guns drawn.

"TERRORISTS!"

"Why does everyone these days assume that?" one asked

"Just shut-up and fire, boss wants Montoya alive!"

"Whatever!" Up on the bridge, Batgirl and Robin noticed the commotion.

"That's our cue."

"Gee, ya think!"

The two readied their wing jet packs and headed for the wreck. Needless to say, slaying the officers and nabbing Courtney was easy.

"Hey, hey! Lemme go! Lemme go! Do you even know who I am?"

"Oh we know who you are Montoya, and so does our boss!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha!" they laughed.

"And by the looks of things, your crew and this ships seen better days, so we'll just give you a lift from here-"

"Don't bet on it creeps!" Batgirl yelled

"Alright fellas, let's make this easy, down the hatch!" they jumped in, and the sub took a quick dive.

"Aw crap!"

"Batgirl-[splash]" the two took too much speed and did a nose dive right into the water.

"Oh boy...Trent...is going to kill us." Batgirl sighed

"Heh-heh, you first."

Anyway, Batman and Bullock had arrived at the dilapidated old office building that was Courtney's former employer. They emerged from the Batmobile.

"Renew-You Fashion...she used to work here?"

"Just till it went under."

"Boy you're not kidding, this place is trashed, it's half demolished, there's no roof-"

"So let's make it a quick one Cowl Head! Come on." Bullock drew his gun and lit another cigarette.

"I like your style Bullock. Let's split up."

"I like it, we'll meet back here in an hour. Sound good."

"Perfect."

The two split up and searched the wet and leaky building. Everything seemed to still be there. But it was creepy, really, REALLY creepy, like Zoinks! Creepy. Anyway Chef was on the fourth floor (the top floor, which had no roof, when in the R&D room he saw someone rummaging around.

"Whoa, now this guy ain't right..." he tiptoed in, gun drawn.

"Where is it...where is it!" the figure loomed. Suddenly Chef knocked a can, grabbing his attention.

"[Crink]-Sh*t!"

"Huh?"

"Uh-Freeze maggot! Who are you."

"Now, you shouldn't sneak up on my tubby, cause I don't like that!" he turned round standing tall...really tall, and really built.

"Hey, who you calling...whoa...oh boy-"

Batman was just a floor below when suddenly he heard Bullock yelling, and then gunshots.

"Huh, who is this guy Courtney is with in this photograph?" he thought to himself looking over an old photograph.

"AHHHHHH-[bang-bang-bang]-BATS! BAAAAAAAATS!"

"Bullock!" Batman quickly followed the screaming and dashed into the R&D room, to find Chef by the door. "Chef, you alright!"

"I'm fine Bats, I think I may have found a clue that could wing this for us?"

"What makes you say that-gasp." Batman then saw the creature

"Oh, just a hunch."

"You stay out of this Batman! Or whatever you are, this doesn't concern you!" A lightning strike illuminated his face.

"Who...I mean, what are you?" he asked

"Don't look at me I'm hideous! I'm out to get my ultimate vendetta! The ultimate revenge, the names Justin Jones! But you can call me by my new name...Killer Croc!" A lightning strike illuminated his face once more.

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**To Cartoongal11: take your time =)  
**


	28. Vendetta, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

The rain continued to fall. Batman and Chef tried to get a good look at his latest rogue. He was gray in color, with fins and scales all around his body. He was well cut, with scale covered 12 pack abs. And neat dark hair. He only wore a pair of designer jeans.

"Let me guess, you used to be a model at this company, then Courtney Montoya must have been the cause for you to...change?"

"You're as good as the papers portray you Dark Knight. But there's more to it then that, you see-"

"Aw dammit a flashback!" Chef groaned.

_Flashback_

_You see, I wasn't just a model at this place...I was THE model. My face, my body was everywhere. I had it all. That picture you're holding Batman, that's when I first met Courtney Montoya, the young and beautiful new Research Analyst. _

_I remember one day she concocted this formula that actually made your skin look soooooo much younger, almost 5 years instantly! I couldn't pass it up, so naturally, I stupidly became her guinea pig. _

_That's...that's when things went very wrong. She did warn me not to use the whole vial of the substance but like a fool I lathered my whole body. Almost instantly I started to change, and not soon before long, I became this, a hideous monster of what I once was. I swore revenge on her one day! _

_But it was hard, she joined the GPD, and it seemed like she was untouchable. _

_End Flashback_

"Until now, so I kidnapped Mayor Hill and made sure all the evidence pointed to her, so she could become vulnerable as now. and once I return to my new evil lair...I was considering doing the same to her as she had to me...but, yeah I think I'll just kill her."

"Good plan Croc, except you left out one major detail." Batman smiled

"Oh really, what's that?"

"US!" Bullock lunged at the supervillain.

"Oh boy-grunt!-[smash]" He grabbed Bullock mid air and tossed him about the room. "Ooh, you're scaring me tubby." Batman bear hugged him from behind.

"Give up now Jones!"

"NEVER!" he threw Batman off of him. "Doesn't matter anyway I got what I came for...and like I said this doesn't concern you." he grabbed the jar he stole, and turned to walk away.

Batman quickly tossed a bat-bolo which seemed to tie him up. Croc quickly tore out of it.

"Damn!"

"Increased strength, gotta thank Courtney for that one." He ran into the hallway.

"Ugh! Come on Bullock!"

"Yeah...uh, go ahead, I'll catch up!" he saw Batman leave. "Got damn I'm getting too old for this." he followed after him.

Batman ran about the facility looking for Killer Croc. He blindly turned corners, looking out of a window he saw Croc run into the courtyard. He jumped from the window, and flew towards the criminal in typical Batman fashion

-[umph-thud] he knocked Croc down.

"It's over Jones."

"That's Killer Croc!"

"Ah!" Croc kicked Batman off of him, he ran towards a manhole.

"You can follow me if you wish Batman, but keep in mind, you'll be in my element. The sewer. Oh, did I mention, I also have fins now...sniffle-sniffle...I'm so hideous." he splashed down. Batman growled.

"That little!" he heard panting behind him. "Bullock, come on, were hitting the sewer."

"WHAT! Bats you're crazy!"

"Do you wanna save Courtney or not, you heard what he said."

"Yeah...I heard. Alright Pointy Ears you got me over a barrel-...[splash-splash]"

The two splashed down into the sewer, the water was easily up to their chests because of the rain.

"AW! All over my new shoes-and I just cleaned this trenchcoat! I swear when we find this-"

"Harv-shh!"

"Why an i-"

"Shhhhhhh! He's here." Batman looked all around the dark waters, and Chef drew his gun.

"Where?"

"Anywhere, were in his element remember?" suddenly Batman heard a faint sound of moving waters.

"Oh God..."

"Chef...please tell me that was your leg that brushed up against me."

"Nope."

"I was afraid you'd say that." suddenly...

. . .-[SPLASH]-AHHHHH!"

"Croc!" the two ducked as Croc swam back under the waters.

"Come on, we'll catch him better on foot!" the two got on the side of the sewer not submerged by water and chased Croc down. Batman of course had a Batarang at the ready.

"He's got to be this way!"

"I'm following you Batman!"

Meanwhile in like a Ninja Turtles style lair in the sewer, Courtney slowly woke up. She was chained to the wall, she quickly noticed the four henchmen...well one was a woman. Behind them in a giant pool that water flowed into was the parked mini sub.

"Huh-unh...what the?"

"Oh good, shes awake." the hench-woman said.

"You! You're the people who kidnapped me!" she fumed

"Not just you." they pointed to mayor Hill, who was right next to her.

"Mr. Mayor."

"Detective Montoya? What is this about?"

"Let's just ask them.

"Oh I'm sure our boss can explain that, in fact...that sounds like him now." one Henchman pointed to the bubbling waters, and out jumped Killer Croc, holding the jar of stuff.

"My lord! What is that!" the mayor asked

"He looks familiar..." Courtney squinted.

"I should look familiar Montoya." Croc approached.

"Huh...J-Justin? Justin Jones?"

"You know this man-thing, detective?"

"I thought I did sir."

"That's right Courtney, it's me, Justin Jones, THE face and THE bod for Best-In-Show cosmetics, the same place that employed YOU! Where, YOU did THIS TO ME!"

"Oh right...Mayo Hill, we might be in trouble-"

"More then you'll ever know! And it's Killer Croc now! Know why? Cause you turned me into a friggin' Alligator!" Croc fumed holding up the jar of her formula. "But it's no matter, you see I set up this little Vendetta just to get back at you. My deepest apologies Mr. Mayor you're just a measly an unfortunate victim of circumstance."

"Gee I feel so appreciated." he rolled his eyes.

"So...you both want to know why they call me, Kille Croc?"

"I don't really want to find out." Courtney cringed.

"Well you will, very soon-"

And while he rants we go to Batman and Bullock, who had just peaked their heads out of the water to see what exactly was going on.

"Okay, were gonna have to do this the old fashion way."

"I agree Batman, quietly." the two emerged from the waters and went for the Henchmen, one by one, while Croc ranted. They had them all tied up in one fell swoop...this would be cooler if you could actually see it.

"So anyway, enough ranting...it's time you two took a permanent swim in my element, hand me the concrete shoes boys...guys?" he turned to see- "YOU TWO!"

"It's over Croc, give up!" Batman ordered

"Never, not till I GET MY REVENGE!"

Bullock quick, unlock them, I'll take care of the sideshow here."

"Can do!" Chef ran to the chained two.

"Took you long enough." Courtney smirked

"Oh just shut-up and be glad to see me-"

"Hurry detective Bullock!" Hill ordered

"Yeah I'm trying here!"

Croc launched Batman at the mini sub, poised to deliver the final blow.

"That's it! My revenge might have failed, but at least I'll know I got rid of you Batman." he grabbed a huge rock, which a Batling hook quickly latched onto. "What the!" they looked up.

"Hey boss, need a hand?" Robin asked he pulled the rock from Croc's hands.

"Miss us Batman?" Batgirl asked

"You're both late!"

"Oh please don't-Look out!" Croc grabbed Batman.

"I'm gonna squeeze the life from you-whack!" some punched Croc right in the back of the head.

"Not in my town you're not." Mayor Hill said

"Yeah!"

"Right on Mayor-[rumble, rumble]-uh-oh."

"CAVE IN!"

"This place is going down, hurry, we gotta get to the surface, grab a Henchman!"

"I'm a woman!"

"Whatever, let's just go!" Batman ordered.

The place began to collapse. Croc managed to come to long enough to see them leave, Courtney noticed the criminal and gave him one last look

"I will be avenged Courtney! Oh yes, you haven't seen the last of MEEEEE!" just as the whole tunnel caved in on him.

They climbed out of the nearest manhole, not a surprise Chris and his police were already waiting.

"Easy does it Commissioner."

"Mayor Hill?"

"Yes, let be the first to assure you Courtney here is innocent, she had nothing to do with my kidnapping, these guys here can explain that, won't they?"

"Well, my apologies Montoya, let's get them to holding, but forst get a shower cause you all stink!"

"We know." everyone said.

The next day the rain had subsided. Courtney was standing at the edge of the docks thinking. Starring off at the sunrise. Trent Wayne, was joined down the docks with Alfred, Cody and Bridgette.

"You think we've seen the last of him?" Cody asked

"Nope, not at all."

"It's always the ones you least expect to return, isn't it Master Trent?"

"Yes Alfred, and I'm sure somehwere out there Courtney knows one day she'll make things right with Killer Croc."

"So we all hope." Bridgette sighed

"Ya know, it's times like this, that bring me back to my old days in the British Intelligence-"

"GROOOOOAN!"

"Not again Alfred!"

"Quick run!" they scurried away. The butler chuckled

"Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm, gets them every time." We now pan over to the water wherea mysterious creature does a jump, then a dive.

**THE END!**

**Vignette dedicated to the memory of Aron Kincaid (1940-2011)  
**

Hey, hello; Alan Burnett here guys, Director and Executive producer. Just so excited for our 100th review, come on whose it gonna be? Cartoongal11: keep at it, it looks good, and uh; look out for the Riddler up next, that's all I got, bye guys.

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Bullock

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Detective Montoya

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**Peter Oldring: **Robin

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Adam Reid: **Killer Croc

**Rob Paulsen: **Lead Henchman, Maclin

**Kevin Conroy:** Mayor Hamilton Hill

**Lauren Tom: **Hench-Woman

**Jess Harnell: **Bloom, Henchman

**Clancy Brown: **Captain

**Jeff Bennett: **2nd Officer, Henchman

**Kevin Michael Richardson: **Police officer, Henchman.


	29. Battle of Wits, Part I

**Villain: Riddler**

**Episode Rewrite: If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Rich? (1992)**

**Written By: David Wise**

**Directed By: Eric Radomski**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 14: Battle of Wits! **

I changed the name of the episode because, it's too long. So, there.

In Metropolis, At Competitron, the world's foremost video game designer, seemed like any usual morning.

Noah Nygma steps out of the fourth floor elevator with the morning crossword in hand. As per his usual morning routine. He finished the last word-(the whole puzzel only took him 10 minutes anyhow)-he tossed the crossword on a nearby cart and attempted to open his office door.

[clunk]- "Ow! What in the world."

Assuming his door was unlocked Noah accidentally ran into the locked door that was once his office. He looked around, there were filled boxes everywhere. A janitor was doing some last minute cleaning nearby. Nygma saw his name plate was taken off his door.

"What's going on here, my door was right here?"

"Yeah, was is right." the janitor plopped Noah's door tag in the nearest trash receptacle.

"What's the meaning of this?" Noah asked annoyed

"What does it look like Noah?" his greedy boss and CEO Daniel Mockridge said. "You're out of here, your history, your fired, comprende?"

"Have you lost for what passes for your mind Mockridge? You can't afford to do without me!"

"I can if you're gonna sue me for royalties." Mockridge added scratching his mustache.

"I created the Zombie Slayer video game! This company, Sony, and Microsoft is making millions right now because of my genius!" Noah defended

"Competitron Software success didn't come from the product Nygma, and I'm sure Mr. Gates and their crews will agree. It has the corporate attitude, it's strength is in the boardroom, the deal, the contract. Specifically the work for hire contract you signed?" he said taking Noah's contract from his blazer pocket. Noah was mad, he felt duped

"You are a fool Mockridge to think you'll getaway with this, your a-moral greed is no match for an intellect like mine!"

"Oh yeah, then tell me something Noah, if you're so smart, why aren't you rich?" Mockridge then walked away. Noah quickly grabbed his things, and stormed from the building.

We now take you back to Gotham City, two years later. Daniel Mockridge sat in Trent Wayne's office along with Trent's right hand man, Lucius Fox. Twas the biggest deal of Mockridge's career.

"Now I've made sure that Competitron owns all the rights to Zombie Slayer free and clear. Considering all the licensing and merchandising, well hell we've just built a Zombie Slayer theme park outside the city. "And if we had to pay royalties and all that to the creator-"

"You can stop pitching Mockridge I want this deal." Trent finally said after a tired yawn. "So I can move Competitron to Gotham. This city desperately needs the jobs it will create." Trent finished. Mockridge gasped at what he saw outside.

On the building across the street, there was a Stock light sign. But instead of Stocks moving across the screen read a message.

Mockridge A Riddle for you:

"What's he trying to do." he whispered

Why do multimillion dollar deals break down in the Wasteland?

"Mockridge...are you okay, Mockridge!" Trent asked

"Huh, what? Oh uh, we'll uh have to wrap this up later guys, something's just come up." Mockridge gathered his things as the two looked puzzled at one another. Trent and Lucius turned to the riddle outside.

"Well, whatever that meant, it sure rattled his cage Mr. Wayne." Lucius said

"Why do multimillion dollar deals...-"

"Break down in the wasteland?" Trent said. With the first part in his office, then the last later in the Bat-Cave.

While he pondered, Geoff was playing Zombie Slayer on the Bat-Computer. The game itself was an improvised version of Nazi Zombies, but with riddles and stuff added in.

"It has to have a double meaning?" Trent pondered, as Alfred walked in with the Batman and Nightwing costumes neatly pressed and folded.

"Master Geoffrey that must be quite a computer game." Alfred said "Especially if it's worth tying up a 50 million dollar computer." (Keep in mind this dialogue was taken from '92.)

"Oh it is, it's called Zombie Slayer, it's so rad! Look, you basically get to slay the hell out of these zombies, and instead of getting points or credits like in other games like this like to get weapons and open doors, the have to answer a riddle." Geoff explained coming towards a door...in the game. "Like here I'll show you, what is the shortest distance between Nome Alaska, and Miami Florida? Well, that's easy, a straight line."

"Begging your pardon Master Geoffrey, but wouldn't the shortest distance on a globe be a curved line?"

"Oh...oops, you see if you get an answer wrong, like I just did, your access is denied for two minutes, and all the zombies in the round go right for you...even faster-OH GOD!"

"Wasteland...Wasteland." Batman kept thinking as he slipped his boots on. "Wait, doesn't Mockridge own a club in town called the Wasteland?"

"Oh, the wasteland, no!" Geoff slammed his head down. "In the game, that's where you go if you die."

"Come on Nightwing, Daniel Mockridge's life could be in jeopardy!" Batman tossed Geoff his costume.

Mockridge entered his vacant club...which was closed for the evening. He walked towards his office.

"Nygma...Nygma?"

"Decode that message all by yourself Mockridge?" someone said turned sideways in his big bosses chair. "Or did you have help?"

"You're trespassing Nygma, get out! I've closed this deal I've sold out to Wayne, and there's nothing you can do to stop me." Mockridge approached his desk. The figure turned forward in the chair, the office desk light t only illuminated some of him.

"Of course there isn't, I have a proposition for you."

"You've come up with a new game?" Mockridge asked smiling ear to ear.

"This? No this puzzel is far more then any mere game." the guy said holding up five golden rings connected together. "Wouldn't you agree, or do you need to try it out for yourself? Solve it. Then we'll talk." he handed Mockridge the rings.

"Oh for God's sake." Mockridge mocked...ha-ha, though he quickly tangled himself up, and virtually cuffed his own wrists...wow what a retard!

"Ergh! What is this, some kind of extortion scheme?"

"You think I want money? Not anymore. What I want now...is you." he got closer. Two Henchman came out and grabbed the executive.

Simultaneously Batman and Nightwing crashed through the skylight and landed onto the dance floor a mere few feet from the situation in the office room. Suddenly, the figure emerged from the second floor balcony

"Well, well, Bat-Something-Or-Other isn't it? Who invited you?" The figure walked to the first floor "You know what happens to gate crashers? They have to match wits...with...the Riddler!" he yelled

The Riddler wore a green blazer, and gray slacks, purple shoes, and gloves. He had a tie with a ? mark in the middle, an awesome cane, and a green Bowler hat. And a purple Zoro mask. Behind him, the henchmen dragged Mockridge to the firs floor.

"The Riddler? What is that Nygma, some kind of joke on your name?" Batman asked

"Ha, he so burned you!" Nightwing mocked "Wait, what? Nygma?"

"My-my, can we actually have a brain underneath that pointy eared cowl?" Riddler asked "So tell me, have you brawn to match?" he snapped his fingers, and the two Henchmen attacked.

Using their usual brand of fighting the Henchmen seemed no match for the dark night and his first ward. Hell they were so bad Nightwing literally kicked the one in the ass. He wasn't too happy after that.

Riddler pressed a button on his cane which activated some spinning strobe lights. Just asBatman threw the one Henchmen into a table. Slowly some lights popped out as the lights spun faster. Nightwing took the tablecloth and pulled it so the Henchman fell right off

"Whoa-thud!"

"I always wanted to try that." The lights moved faster as they popped, sparks flew down starting a fire. Riddler had moved himself and Mockridge towards the exit. The light chandelier fell down causing a large fire in the middle of the room.

"Well done Batman, but have you wits to save two people, at the same time?" he pressed another button on his cane. From the bottom launched a giant Chinese finger cuff on Nightwing.

"Huh?"

"It's my own variation on the Chinese finger cuff.

"Batman! You gotta help me Batman, I can pay you whatever you want, just PLEASE BATMAN!" Mockridge begged, as the Riddler and company went for the exit.

Batman ran with the incapacitated Nightwing out the back exit, just as Riddler drove away.

"Dammit!"

"Hey, get me out, it's getting really hot in here Bats!" Nightwing yelled noticing some of the paper caught fire.

**To Be Continued...**

**Cartoongal11: I loved it! I'll review tomorrow, CAN I WRITE A SEQUEL PLEEEEEEEASE!**

**And let's give it up for Kyrogue23 for being the 100th REVIEW! YEAH! Guess what you've won...Absolutely nothing! Except this chapter for your viewing pleasure!  
**


	30. Battle of Wits, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Batman and Nightwing drove through Gotham planning their next move.

"What did you mean by, a joke on his name? You know who he is?"

"I figured the creator of the Zombie Slayer video game was behind all this the moment I saw that billboard this afternoon. I read all about him in the company records I examined. His name's Nygma...Noah Nygma." Batman explained.

"Huh...what...hmm...oh I get it, E-nygma, like a puzzel or riddle? An enigma! At least we know who were looking for."

While driving on the East Borough Bridge, Nightwing noticed the skyscrapers off to the right were all flashing their lights at once.

"Huh? Hey Trent look!" Batman quickly stopped the Batmobile. They exited and walked towards the edge of the bridge. "The lights, they're all flashing at once man!"

". . .It's Morse code." Batman opened his wrist watch and started to type in the codes.

Meanwhile at Gotham Electric, Riddler and his henchmen had taken the place over in order to send the codes to Batman and Nightwing.

"Alright, that should get their attention." Riddler said. He approached the exit. "Come on."

"But I don't get it boss, we got the guy you wanted." the one said

"Yes...but Batman knows who I am, we'll have to put him and his snot nosed co-thwart out of the way first."

Back on the Bridge, Batman had managed to decipher the code.

"Got it, let's go Nightwing." the two hopped back into the Batmobile, driving away.

"Well, what was it?"

"When is the Slayer's owner, as high as an elephant's eye."

"Hmm..." Nightwing thought...there's a scary image. "Well Mockridge is the Zombie Slayer's owner, but what's as high as an elephant's eye?"

"Corn."

"What? Corn, really?"

"It's an old song lyric, from before your time." Batman said "

"So what's he saying, when Mockridge is corny? When Mockridge is in the corn?"

"What's another word meaning corn?"

"Uh...er...kernel, the cob-?"

"Maze!" Batman got it. "When Mockridge is in the maze."

"Of course, the Zombie Slayer maze at the amusement park! The building is one gigantic zombified maze!"

"Exactly, and that's where were headed."

Batman and Nightwing entered the closed amusement park, and approached the door to the Zombie slaying mansion, the main course of the game. Just before the entrance, a hologram or Riddler appeared at the door.

"Where's Mockridge?" Batman ordered

"In the center of the maze along with the Destructor robot. The most deadly zombie in the entire game."

"He ain't kidding, not even I could kill that freak." Nightwing whispered.

"I've programmed the zombie robots to violently attack you as they would in the game, as for the Destructor, I programmed him to destroy Mockridge at exactly 4:30 am. Which gives you less then...10 minutes to run the house and find him." Riddler said looking at his pocket watch. "But first, throw down your utility belts. It will be more...interesting that way don't you think?" the two threw down their belts as planned.

"There's plenty of weaponry for you to choose from inside, of course...if you could answer my riddles that is, defeat the game, and Mockridge is all yours simple as that. Now, you may enter." The door opened, and the two walked in, just as it closed behind them.

They entered a large foyer with a huge wrap around staircase at the other end, on wither side of the room, were two doors with a ? mark on them. They heard a moaning roar from atop the stairs.

"Uh-oh, here they come!"

Zombies poured out from the staircase. Nightwing ran to an outline of an AR-15 on the wall. A riddle popped up.

"What is always wet, and always dry?" Nightwing read

"Uh...a martini!" the gun appeared.

"I know you don't like guns that much but-"

"They're robots Nightwing, and we have a life to save, now point and shoot!" Batman ordered

"Yes sir! AHHHHHHHHH!" [bang bang bang bang bang bang bang]. They mowed down the zombies.

"Come on, uh...right door, I think."

"Nightwing, how fa did you get in this game again?" Batman asked

"Uh, I dunno, halfway maybe?"

"Already I like this!" they approached the door.

"Let's see, I'm portable, I'm a star, and I'm revolutionary?" I am BAD with these riddles, sorry

"Uh...a flashlight?" the door opened.

"Come on, we have like 5 five minutes."

"I know I know!"

They ran into another larger room, to the far side was another door and many large windows. Batman had an idea.

"Of course, the courtyard! That's gotta be the middle of the maze!"

"What? Come on that's too easy, besides you have to go through like 7 more rooms, that door over there doesn't even lead you to the courtyard-"

"Nightwing, we don't have any other choice! Mockridge's life is in jeopardy!" Suddenly a horde of zombies appeared. "Come on, give it to em!" Batman fired.

He mowed down the continuous wave of zombies, Nightwing had other ideas in mind. He loked around for another weapon.

"Aw crap this is taking way too long." he looked around and noticed a flame thrower. "Bingo." he went for the riddle. "I'm revered in Egypt, I can be as deadly as a knife, yet I'm cuddly as a pillow, what am I? Uh...I don't know..."

"AHHHH!-[bang bang bang-click]-aw crap, out of ammo, Nightwin-[fwoooooosh]" Nightwing fired at the zombies with the flame thrower he aquired.

"Ha, it was a cat! Hey zombs, SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!" -[fwooooosh]"

Cutscene to Al Pacino's living room...

"What the hell why does everyone have to use my catch phrase, I mean Clint Eastwood's gotta have like, a million of em, I have 1 and now it's been turned into a cartoon joke-what...the f*ck!"

Were Back...

"Nice job."

"I learned from the best, now come on, can't let you have all the fun."

"Right, to the courtyard!"

"So...how do you fathom we get through?" Nightwing asked

"Easy, see video games are one thing...reality is another...YEEEEEEEEAH!" Batman sprinted for the nearest window. -[craaaaaash]- and did a barrel roll through it. Nightwing shook his head

"Here's hoping I didn't rub off on him too much." he followed his semi-boss to the Courtyard.

Sure enough, Mockridge was tied at a fountain in the middle, with the huge, near naked, and menacing Destructor Zombie guarding him. Along with more Hench-Zombies.

"Oh boy." Batman gasped. Riddler appeared via hologram.

Come on Batman, face ME!" the Destructor yelled

"Ah-ah-ah, you know cheaters never prosper Batman."

"Neither do criminals, so I guess were even Riddler!"

"Touche, but can you answer the final riddle?"

"We'll see, come on Nightwing, you burn em, I'll toast em!"

"Ooh, we should patent that dude!"

"Just shut up and see that their crispy!" Batman groaned

"Can do!"

"Batman please, help meeeeeeeeeee!" Mockridge yelled. As the two started to mow down more of the zombie mayhem.

"Better hurry Batman, you only have 2 minutes left, let's see if you can take it." Riddler chuckled.

"Ugh, come on, come on!" they finished off the zombie attacks, and came face to face with the Destructor.

"So...how do we defeat this thing, again?"

"Answer the final riddle!"

"Oh right!"

"I have millions of eyes yet I live in darkness, I have millions of ears, yet only four lobes, I have no muscle, yet I move two hemispheres, what am I?" It asked as it moved it's giant hammer over Mockridge.

"The clock's a-ticking Batman." Riddler teased

"BATMAN-PLEA-"

"I'm working on it! God if I could only think-[snap]-thinking, of course, it's the human brain!"

"That's...correct." the Destructor then melted into a pile of gross steamy goo. Batman approached the Riddler hologram

"The brain has billions of optical nerves, 4 lobes, two hemispheres, and-"

"Is the only thing Noah Nygma respects." Nightwing finished

"Ergh! Lucky guess is all, but it won't save you Batman, destroy them!" Suddenly the Destructor formed back into himself.

"I'm baaaaack."

"Aw crap." Batman groaned

"Were finished-FINISHED!" Mockridge screamed. Suddenly, Nightwing shot him with the flame thrower, and he melted again.

"NOOOOOOO!"

"You're through Nygma!"

"Sorry boys, but you'll never find me, I'm not even at the amusement park, never was!" Turns out he was calling them from a plane. "And by the time you exit the maze, I'll be out of the city. Ta-ta Batman, we will meet again, count on it-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-AHA-HA-HA!" the transmission ended.

Geoff was in the Bat-Cave reading the days paper.

"I bet you're happy about this." he said talking about Trent's new business deal.

"Bringing in 5.5 million and many jobs will do that." Trent explained

"But that creep Mockridge got to pocket a cool 10 mill from that buy out, what a burn man."

Maybe, but we've been searching for the Riddler for months, and he's still out there.

We now cutscene to Mockride's house where he had locked the place up for the evening, and searched the place with a shotgun, all nervously.

"_Mockridge may have his money, but he won't be sleeping well." _After checking underneath the bed and in the closet, Mockridge slid into bed, ready for a restless night.

"_How much is a good night's sleep worth? Now there's a riddle for ya."_

**THE END!**

Ohmigosh, hey guys, Rob Paulsen here, hi I do various voices for our little show Total Drama Batman, wasn't in this particular one, but still, always glad to do my part. Just asking for your REVIEWS and traffic as always, and be ready for a complete original coming up next, we got Catwoman and Mr. Freeze, stay tuned. Bye guys!

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Dan Petronijevic: **Nightwing

**Dvid McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Carter Hayden: **Riddler

**Gary Frank: **Daniel Mockridge

**Morgan Freeman: **Lucius Fox

**Kevin Michael Richardson: **The Destructor

**Frank Welker: **Zombies, Henchman #2

**Maurice LaMarche: **Menchman #1

**Al Pacino: **Himself

**Rob Paulsen: **Himself


	31. Cat and Mouse, Part I

**Villain(s): Catwoman, Mr. Freeze, Ferris Boyle**

**Episode Archive: ORIGINAL!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Teleplay by: Paul Dini&Butch Hartman**

**Directed by: Kevin Altieri**

**Storyboard Direction: Glen Murakami&Randy Rogel **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 15: Cat and Mouse**

It was gonna be one of those nights. The alarm at Arkham rang out, and you know what that means...Besides the fact were the second best group II high school football team in the state right now, it means, ESCAPE!

Coming up from the moat they just jumped into was none other then Gwen Kyle and Tyler Fries, who unknowingly escaped at the exact same time.

Running through the forests outside of the city. The two decided to take some rest. Freeze was able to obtain his freeze gun and freeze suit.

"Whew...that was...sigh, that was a rush, uh, cool hanging with you Freeze." Gwen said. She was redy to walk away.

"Yes, thank you Ms. Kyle." Mr. Freeze added. "Now if you excuse me, I must get back to my work, freeing my Nora...and maybe knocking over a few sporting goods stores, which ever comes first."

"Uh...don't you suck at sports?"

"...Don't rub it in."

"Oh, you know I'm kidding, gosh you're so grim...kinda like Batman."

"Yeah, Batman; a meddling force to be reckoned with, after I find my beloved I will have no more reason to tango with him."

"God, you are grim. Even more then me. Now if you'll excuse me Freeze I have some stuff to steal and a certain...bat to chase me."

"You might be the only one who would enjoy that." Mr. Freeze rolled his eyes.

"Maybe I do, gotta problem with that?" Gwen asked

"Why do you care for him so much, do you want to be thrown back into that dump?"

"Doesn't answer my question."

"Mine's more important!"

"Maybe I like the chase Freeze, why do you like Nora so much-"

"Cause shes my wife." Mr. Freeze cut her off.

"Okay, you uh...good luck with that, I'll be getting off my place now...bye."

Mr. Freeze then got a good view of Gwen as she walked away. He wouldn't openly admit it then, but there was something about her in that nearly too short one piece striped prison uniform that just made her just look so good.

Yeah, a tad perverted I know...but you know something else-IT'S MY STORY!

"Uh...say Gwen." she turned around

"Yeah?"

"Would uh...i dunno, help me? Ya know in my quest, I mean if you want."

"Oh, Tyler Fries, are you asking me out on a villain date? Not sure Nora would like that."

"NO! Of course not, but you see, she is at Gothcorp...and you know."

"Uh-huh."

"They have really nice stuff you can steal." oh how persuasive.

"Well, how could I possibly pass that up...sounds purrrrrfect."

"Good, come on, I know the way."

"Ha-ha, I bet you do."

While the two formulated a plan, Batman and Batgirl sat in Commissioner Gordon's office, where he of course was a little busy with more then just the situation at hand. Like fixing his hair and gelling it to perfection.

"Ahem." Batman said

". . ."

"Commissioner?"

"Huh, what, oh, when did you guys get here?"

"Uh...5 minutes ago Chris."

"Oh right, what were we talking about again?" the crime fighters groaned.

"Catwoman?"

"Mr. Freeze?"

"Escaped?" they finished the sentence at the exact same time.

"Oh yeah, well if I had to guess, I bet old Fries would be heading back to Gothcorp to get his revenge."

"Or perhaps get his wife Nora." Batgirl suggested defying Daddy.

"Oh right...either way I suggest we place a perimeter around Ferris Boyle, just in case."

"We can divide and conquer Commissioner, but I doubt that's what Freeze wants this time." Batman and Batgirl stood up to leave.

"Yeah but what about Cat-woman?" they pulled a Houdini. "Every FREAKIN time!"

Anyway at Gothcorp, Catwoman and Mr. Freeze stood on the roof of the facility, ready to break in.

"You set?" Mr. Freeze asked

"Plenty set, so to run over this again, I go and steal from the vault, whilst you head on down to the storage center to find your wife's chryogenic freezer?"

"Correct, Good luck Catwoman, I shall endeavor to meet you in the storage room."

"Alright, and I won't be needing your rope. I can see my way into the place." Catwoman jumped over and onto the side of the building, digging her claws into the concrete and crawled down like Spider-man.

"Aw man, why can't I do that, I'm a champian mountain climber-oh, who am I kidding." Mr. Freeze tore open the skylight and fast. Rope to swing down into the facility.

Meanwhile Batman and Batgirl saw the whole situation unfold from across the street.

"Well, I think it's obvious what their plan is." Batman smirked

"Yup."

"We should probably split u-"

"I call Catwoman!"

"What-Bridgette! You don't know what she-"

"Sorry Trent, have fun with frozen butt!" she swung her way across the street with an angry Batman close behind.

"Ugh, damn dibsies." he groaned.

Meanwhile inside his corporate big-important-businessman-office, Ferris Boyle was going over the previous month's profit invoices, or something like that. I dunno, I don't...I don't know business stuff. Hey you remember Boyle from Mr. Freeze's debut episode? Corrupt Industrialist? Voiced by Mark Hamill? Nearly froze-well anyway, same guy. Anyway he noticed some trip a silent alarm in the vault 'room, hmm, wonder who that could be?

"Hmm?" he looked over the monitors. "Hello nurse, what's this?" he saw Catwoman looting his safe. "Ergh! Just what I need, another costumed nut-job trying to steal from me! Well not this time sister! You got another thing coming!" he grabbed a revolver from under his desk. Anyway inside the vault, Catwoman was getting loaded! But with money, not what some of you might be thinking...

"Yes, come to Gwenny." she was sure to fill two bags each with an equal amount. "This one will be for the wildlife preserve...and this ones for me. Ah, is there not happiness money can't bring?"

"Sure."

"Gasp!"

"Just like there's no problem prison time can't solve." Batgirl said wittingly holding up a pair of handcuffs.

"Oh, you're the lady bat aren't you...Listen...Batgirl isn't it?"

"That's me, Gwendolyn. Nice that you and old Tyler Fries are helping each other out, warms my heart to see villains doing each other a solid." Catwoman rolled her eyes.

"Oh pul-ease, I'm just helping Freeze move a heavy package is all, this is all for me and the cats."

"Yeah well, too bad I'm gonna have to stop you from stealing company money."

"You forget, bats are just mice with wings little girl." she held up her claws.

"So?"

"So, I eat mice for breakfast!"

"Ahem! No ones going anywhere." Boyle entered the vault, gun in hand. "No one, and I MEAN NO ONE steals Ferris Boyle's money and gets away with it!"

"What, I'm not helping her, I'm on your side dude!" Batgirl defended

"Quiet!" Ferris ordered

"Wait a minute, what do you mean YOUR money, don't you mean the companies money?" Catwoman asked

"Ha-ha-ha-ha. No, I mean MY money, this is MY company and I own the right to the money and anything in it to use as liberally as I please, GET IT?"

"Ya think Niko will write all the times he used I and my in caps?"

"Yeah probably."

"_Oh-oh here we go again! You know what, you know what, I will bet you...I will bet you Butch added that in the script didn't he...DIDN'T HE? Did he Mark?_

"_Yup, right here boss, in the script, every time I say MY or I, in caps."_

"_Oh I knew it, and I bet he added the little fourth wall crap in the last line, un freaking believable, Eric, Paul, Al, Bruce, I don't care what you gotta do, but do something about Butch Hartman and messing with the scripts, please! I knew I should have had Tom Ruegger do the teleplay...Alright whose line is it, Mark, Megan, Kristen?"_

"_Uh, yeah, Mark next line."_

"_Alright, thank you Paul, and action!"_

"Oh, we good now? Okay, back into character...Both of you shut-up! Drop the money, hands in the air-"

"The-"

"Yes Batgirl, the both of you." Boyle ordered

"Yeah fat chance-[bump]"

"Ah-unh." Catwoman knocked Batgirl over the head with a bag of money, she then held it above her face.

"Ah-ah-ah Ferris, you wouldn't want to shoot your own money would you?"

"Ergh! No...curses! My greed finally caught up to me!"

"That's right, see ya sucker." Catwoman made a break for the exit.

"Ugh." the corrupt industrialist turned to the unconscious Batgirl. "Well now my little bat, you may be of use to me, cause if there's a Batgirl, there's a Batman sure to follow." he scooped her over his shoulder and exited the vault room.

Meanwhile Mr. Freeze was sifting through storage, until he found exactly what he came for. The cold chamber containing his long lost love...who resembled Harley Quinn in a few physical ways...wink wink-nudge-nudge.

"Gasp-there she is, after all this time. My love my...Nora. And a whole box of Gothcorp Baseballs, alright, two birds with one stone." he started to wheel the heavy chamber towards the exit...when.

"Freeze!"

"Ugh, you...and enough with the irony Batman, you're not going to stop me from taking my love with me."

"You're right Tyler, it was wrong for what Ferris Boyle did to you, he even used all his corporate power to get himself out of trouble, but that still doesn't get away from the fact you and Gwen escaped from Arkham, and it's time I took you back."

"No! At least wait until I get my Nora- at least let her be in my cell with me...can't you grant me that one wish Batman?" he started to cry

"Fries...I...I wish there were some other-"

"Psych!" he chucked a baseball his way...missing completely. "Man I have the worst aim!"

"Yeah, you made that perfectly clear the last time we met." Batman snarled

"No I didn't."

"Oh, well whatever, this script is just messed up today, look what happens in act two-"

"Fascinating Batman, what it should say is I have bad aim...in sports! -[zap]"

"Hey!" Batman fell to the floor, his legs frozen solid from the ray of the freeze gun.

"Well-well, let's just see how cold you can get." he aimed right for Batman's head

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Uh-oh, how's Batman gonna get himself out of this one? Tune in next time to find out. Also, sorry to rant guys, but I...have got a real discontent for atheists right now, why? PM me to find out the ridiculous story!**

**GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!**


	32. Cat and Mouse, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"So Batman...any last words?" Mr. Freeze asked

"Actually I could think of a few-"

"Fries!" Came an angry Ferris Boyle from the other side of the room.

"Boyle." Mr. Freeze turned around to the gun wielding Industrialist.

"Batgirl." Batman whispered seeing her body over Ferris's shoulder.

"Come to ruin more of my life Boyle?"

"I thought I'd ask you the same thing! You have a lot of nerve. Showing up here unannounced with your little associate to try and rob me of all my money, and my PROPERTY!"

"My Nora is not your property Boyle, the sooner you learn that, the better off we'll all be."

"NO!" she is in MY storage room so shes MINE, you hear me Fries, MINE!"

By now Tyler was getting impatient. But not as much as Batman, who just laid there trying to think of a gadget to deice himself...Too bad he left the Bat-ice pick back at the Batcave.

"Hey you." Catwoman suddenly appeared above him.

"Catwoman?" Batman asked shivering a little.

"What's up good looking, surprised to see your flame out on the prowl ag-"

"Gwen this is clearly not the time, Boyle and Fries are gonna kill each other, and we gotta stop em before it's too late."

"Ugh, why don't you take all the fun out of life-"

"Oh speaking of that, when were done, you're both going back to Arkham."

"Yeah, not wise to say that to the girl whose going to help you out, but...maybe, if you do a little something for me."

"Sigh, what do you want Gwen?"

"You, are going to let me go one time, the next time we meet, after that, you can throw me in jail all the times you want, sound fair?" Catwoman asked

"Ugh, sure, but just this once."

"Yay-mwah-thanks Bat-"

"Unfreeze me!"

"Jeez okay-okay, I'll just use the automatic Gothcorp ice saw."

"Huh, we need to make one of those." Batman whispered

"What?"

"Nothing, saw me." And here's some comedy for ya-

"And another thing, Whenever I would go to the Gothcorp company picnic, you would never even acknowledge me, and you always ate all the fried chicken!" Mr. Freeze fumed

"Oh-oh, so it's my fault Chambers never makes enough damned chicken!"

"As a matter of fact Boyle it is! And to end this 5 minute yelling contest, I am taking my wife with me!" he pointed the freeze gun.

"Uh, hmm...no, I don't think so-[bang]" he shot the gun right out of Freeze's hand.

"Oh come on!"

"And...you know what Tyler, it's time for a little payback." [bang-bang-kiff-crackle]

"NOOOOOOO-[crash]" he shot open the chryogenic freezer. And a near dead Nora Fries fell out. "NOOOOOORAAA!"

"Boyle, you're insane!" Batman yelled getting out of the ice

"NO Batman! I'm just an industrialist whose tired of being taken advantage of! It's time to kick it up a notch!" he grabbed Nora's body. "I happen to know she can't sustain her own life outside this chamber after 1 hour. Let's just see how far I can stretch that-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"NOOOOOO! YOU MONSTER!"

"And to add to my little collection." he grabbed a Gothcorp Grapple Gun and caught Catwoman, pulling her towards Boyle.

"Help-BATMAN!" she was trapped.

"Ah, I love our products-Gothcorp, The People Company!" Boyle announced.

"Boyle! Now you've gone too far! I made a promised Catwoman things would be alright, and to my wife-"

"Oh shut up Tyler, and hey, I'll send you a postcard from what I do with the two of them-oh and Batman, think of this as my way of thanking you for nearly ruining my career-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" he threw down a Gothcorp Smoke Pellet and disappeared.

"Damn, gone!" Freeze fumed

"Tyler I-"

"Get away from me, haven't you helped enough!"

"Look, I know you don't want to do it, but we need to work together, or else we'll never see them again!"

"Forget it! I'll never work with the likes of you Batman!" he shrugged

"Alright then how about this, don't do it for me...do it for Nora..."

"Nora...ergh, alright, I'm in." they started for the exit "I suppose we'll be taking the Bat-car or whatever?"

"Bat-MOBILE, and yes." they ran for the parking lot. "I had the cloaking device disguise it as voice actor Maurice LaMarche signing children autographs."

"I do it for the kids!"

"Shut-up hologram Maurice." he deactivated the disguise and the Batmibile appeared.

[screeeeeeeee!]

"That's Boyle's car, come on, there's no time to lose!"

"I'm on it. Hang onto your ice Tyler-[veroooooooooooom]"

"WAAAAAAAAH!"

"Chris, send some cars in my pursuit, it's Ferris Boyle, he went off the deep end, he's kidnapped Batgirl, Catwoman, even Nora Freeze!" Batman called Chris

"_I'm sending a pursuit unit right away Batman, good luck!"_

"Alright, LET'S DO THIS!" Freeze yelped

Anyway in his Bentley, Ferris drove down at very high speeds, continuing the game of cat and...uh, another cat, and a bat, and a frozen, sick wife. Quick question do I strike you guys as weird or sociopathic? Think about it. Anyway, Nora was sitting in the passenger's seat, while Batgirl and Catwoman were tied up back to back in the trunk.

"Ugh...if only I had my whip. Come on Batgirl, wake up, snap out of it, please!"

"Zzzzzzzzz."

"What the hell, I thought you guys loved the night." Catwoman groaned. Then she remembered. Batgirl had such-

"Bad ass gadgets in her Bat-utility belt." yes, thanks for being rude. Catwoman tried to reach a Batarang or something to get them out of the jam. But it seemed she couldn;t even move her tied up hands.

"Ugh, this is impossible!"

"UGH, Batman this is impossible, can;t this galopy go any faster?" Freeze asked

"Were going pretty fast here, don't worry, we'll catch them." Batman assured them. Boyle looked at his rear view mirror to see the Batmobile gaining fast.

"Come on..." he poked his head out the window. "Hey Batman! If you and Tyler want this broad so bad, well you can just have her!" he quickly pulled over and pushed Nora out, nice guy. Then he just drove off.

"NORA! Batman you have to drop me off!"

"But-Tyler-"

"NOWWW!" He jumped from the window, just as the police surrounded Tyler.

"Sigh...good luck Tyler Fries, I'm gonna need some of that luck now." Anyway Ferris drove over towards the docks, and right at the edge of the nearest pier...right by the aquarium. Remember, THAT aquarium? Boyle exited the car.

"You're too late Batman, all I have to do is push this car into the drink, and poor wittle Batgirl and Catwoman take a nice wittle water nap." he said in baby speak.

"Boyle! Do you have any idea what you are doing!"

"Getting revenge! You nearly ruined me and my business the last time we met, and I'm gonna see to it that the two most precious girls in your life are ruined because of it!"

"Your own greed nearly ruined you Ferris, now you're ruined for real!"

"I DON'T CARE! My greed is the symbol to my power, I could have been the most wealthiest man in Gotham, even more then that hack Trent Wayne!" he got closer to the edge. Batman was just getting more mad.

"It's scum like you that make me sick Ferris, people like Joker, or Poison Ivy or Two Face might be eviler on the outside, but at least they're honest!"

"Honesty, please; honesty is a drug people abuse far too much, and drowning is something people always avoid too much, let's just see how your friends handle it-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" Ferris tried to pull the car off but in the process, fell before the car, teetering over the edge.

"WAHHHHHH!" Ferris then activated his self inflating Gothcorp life ring. "You see Batzy I think of everything-whoa-AHHHHHHH!" [splash] until he fell right into the mouth of the same shark that "ate" Joker in our season 1 finale. DAMN this one should have been the season 2 finale, oh well.

"Well good bye Boyle, it is what you deserve-[creak...crack]-Oh no!" the car fell over the edge, Batman quickly launched a Batling hook to the bumper.

The heavy car nearly pulled him in too. Catwoman just managed to throw open the trunk, still attached to Batgirl

"Ha, I'm free-whoa...what'd I miss?"

"Catwoman, can't hold on...much longer, climb...n-now!"

"Right." using her cat-like reflexes, she was able to climb the rope to freedom, just as it snapped, and the car hit the ocean with a loud smash.

[snap-wheeeeeew-splash] like that.

"Whew, close one." Batman stood up, and untied the two. Batgirl yawned. Waking up from her slumber.

"Sigh, what'd I miss?" she asked

"Oh, only everything." Catwoman said "Thanks for saving my life, let's do it again sometime."

"Sure, right after you-huh?" Catwoman suddenly disappeared.

"Have you been giving her lessons?"

"Nope...but she sure catches on quick." Batman smiled

"So Trent, what about Boyle, you know he's-"

"Taken care of."

"Okay, what about Mr.-"

"Taken care of, and boy did you miss everything."

"Well gee Trent, you sure have all the answers this evening."

"I sure do, it's nice when things work out in the end, come on champ, let's go home." they both got in the Batmobile.

"So whose gonna run Gothcorp now that Ferris is chum?" Batgirl asked

"Hopefully someone a little more...people friendly, butI'm sure that wherever Ferris is, he's getting what he deserves." as they drove away we cutscene to the ocean where the shark jumps from the water, swimming away...

**THE END**

Hi guys, yeah; Mark Hamill here, the original voice of Joker from Batman: the Animated Series, and Ferris Boyle. we are very happy you enjoyed today's episode, and ask you politely for your feedback, as always, and to Cartoongal11 please keep at it. Okay, one of my personal favorite episodes coming up next, Almost Got 'im, we got a lot of familiar faces, please stay tuned, alright bye guys.

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Peter Oldring: **Mr. Freeze

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Catwoman

**Mark Hamill: **Ferris Boyle, Himself

**Maurice LaMarche: **Himself

**Paul Dini: **Himself

**Niko56: **Myself


	33. Almost Got 'im, Part I

**Villain(s): Joker, Two-Face, Penguin, Poison Ivy, Killer Croc, Harley Quinn, Catwoman**

**Episode Rewrite: Almost Got 'im (1992)**

**Written By: Paul Dini**

**Directed By: Eric Radomski**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 16: Almost Got 'im**

**By far one of the best episodes in the entire B:TAS franchise so I am not fudging this one up too much. But I know you'll still love it anyway :D**

Joker, Two-Face, Penguin, and Killer Croc sit at a poker table at a crowded seedy bar one evening in Gotham. Playing some you guessed it, poker. Joker had the first deal.

"Alright, I want a nice clean game gentlemen." he dealed the cards

"Huh, that'd be a first. So I heard you know who nailed the Mad Hatter last week." Penguin said taking a bite of a club sandwich.

"No kidding, he certainly get's around for just one guy." Joker added

"Yeah well that's where you're wrong, I don't think it is one guy." Two-Face groused looking at his cards.

"Huh?" Croc asked confused.

"Well the way I figure it I bet Gordon's got a whole bunch of them stashed somewhere like a-um, SWAT team, he wants you to think it's one guy but-"

"Oh, you're always seeing double." Joker said cheating right off the bat by pulling a second ace out of his sleeve.

"It's obvious our caped friend suffered some sort of crime related trauma when he was younger, perhaps an over anxious mugger blew off a piece of his face." Close Penguin, real close

"Sure, he could be all gross and disguting underneath that mask-"

"Grrrrrr." Two-Face growled at Joker's last statement, squeezing the half n' half milk that would go in his espresso.

"Uh, no offense Al."

"Just deal." Two-Face groused

"Well you know what I think." Croc said

"God Croc, not the robot theory again!"

"Well he could be."

Suddenly, the jazzy score picks up, and who should enter wearing a big trenchcoat and hat over her outfit was Poison Ivy. She approaches the table.

"Evening me an herbal tea and, deal me in."

"Scram lady...this is a private-[crash]-ow, my beautiful face!" Ivy pulled the chair out from underneath Croc, and he hit the side of the table right on the chin. "Why you little-[pwak]" she then kneed him in the gut. Ivy took Croc's seat.

"Poison Ivy." Two-Face sneered

"S'been a long time Alejandro, you're still looking...halfway decent-ha-ha-ha-ha, see what I did there?"

"Half of me wants to strangle you." Two-Face growled

"Oh, harsh, and what does the other half want?"

"To hit ya with a truck!"

"We used to date." Ivy cooed sarcastically."

"Ah." Penguin and Joker nodded.

"So, what brings such a dainty dove to this dismal little den?" Penguin asked with hearts in his eyes.

"Why, running from the law, and the Batman of course." Ivy took off her coat and hat.

"Of course."

"Likewise."

"You got it."

"Same here." Croc said sitting down in a chair he uh...procured from another patron. "You'd think one of us would have got 'im by now."

"I've come the closest." Penguin said

"Are you kidding I was the one who nearly-"

"[slam]-No ones come closer to snuffing the Batman then me!"

The villains started to clamor, when Joker whistled getting

"[tweet!]-The fact of the matter is we all each have a good almost got 'im Batman story, I know mines the best, but; let's hear yours anyway, I'd say ladies first, but since we don't have any-hah-hah, we'll start with you Izzy." Joker chuckled. Ivy's tea was presented to her.

"Alright, it was like, last Halloween-"

_Flashback_

_In my little pumpkin patch, I had rigged hundreds of pumpkins to spew poison ivy gas when lit. I knew Batman would show up just as Gotham started scratching._

_Sure enough Batman found the patch, which looked vacant. He approached the checkout booth, which was also empty, then behind him in a very tight extremely revealing outfit was Ivy, lighting a smaller pumpkin in her hand._

"_Trick or treat...Batman-[plop-fiss]" she dropped it to the ground, and the gas spewed all over the place. Batman coughed and fell to his knees. It seemed she won. "It's midnight Batzy, time to unmask." before she could take off his cowl, he punched Ivy right in the hepatitis...i mean lower gut. She flew into a pole holding up some strip lights. They fell causing sparks and activated the other pumpkins._

_[pop-pop-pop-pop-fizzzzzzz!] Batman darted away coughing_

"_No...poison gas!" he fell again._

"_Ya see it's the darndest thing really, I have this natural immunity against poisons, toxins, the pain and suffering of others, go figure."_

_On the ground with his belt Batman activated the Batmobile to glide towards Ivy. She gasped, ran in a STRAIGHT line (dumbass) towards the kiosk, she climbed the lamp post on top of the kiosk just as the Batmobile blew through it, and Ivy fell into a pile of pumpkin goop. _

_Batman gave himself some oxygen and approached the villianess, shaking his head._

"And that's how I almost got 'im." Ivy said proudly

"With exploding pumpkins." Joker chuckled

"I'd like to see you do better."

"Oh you will Iz, but I'm saving the best for last. And boy will you be amazed. Now whose next?"

"Me amigo." Two-Face said. Of course he would go second. "There was this time I robbed the Gotham Mint 2 million in 2 dollar bills."

_Another Flashback_

_Luckily for me, I brought along the two ton gang. They were four guys, two dressed in gray fatigues, and two in white fatigues. They grabbed Batman. Two-Face flipped his coin, bad heads...what would happen if it landed on good heads? I mean does he just leave?_

"_The coin says you lose Batman! Tie him up, and just so he doesn't get any ideas." Two-Face took his utility belt. "Let's see how you fare without your toys. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-AH-Ha-Ha-ha-ha-ha-aha." _

"...So, what happened next?" Croc asked, we go to Two-Face's hand for a moment, 4 of spades, 2 of hearts, 2 of clubs, jack of clubs, and jack of hearts.

"I felt as long as I had Batman at my mercy, might as well give 'im a fair chance."

_Yay, another flashback_

_Batman was tied to one side of a GIANT-ASS penny. On one side of a fulcrum, the other side up, suspended above on a forklift was a ton of gold. _

"_Here's the deal, the coin lands face up, you'll be squashed flat...it lands face down, it'll just break every bone in your body." Two-Face explained _

_He was ready to have his one henchman drop the load, but looking for his coin on his person, he seemed to have misplaced it._

"_What the? Where's my coin, anyone see where I? Oh-no!" he saw Batman had the coin and proceeded to cut the ropes with it's jagged edges._

"_Boss, what should I?"_

"_Quick, launch it now!" Two-Face got in the driver's seat, and dropped the gold bullion. Batman launched, he managed to cut himself free in mid air, the coin landed on the two henchmen with a giant CLUNK._

_Then Batman landed on Two-Face knocking him out of the driver's seat, sending him into a pile of dollar coins. _

_Then, Batman drove the lift into the other two henchmen, trapping them in their shorts by the fork. Triumphant, he approached the fading supervillain._

"_Here, I owe you a dollar." and flicked him his coin._

"And if it weren't for this blasted coin...I would'a got 'im."

"Gee, that's too bad Al, but I guess you'll always come in...second-heh-heh." Joker chuckled looking at Two-Face's hand. "Anyone else want to go?"

"ME!" Croc slammed his fists on the table. "There I was, held up in this quarry when Batman came sneaking around...he was getting closer...closer, then..."

"Then...what?" Penguin asked taking a bite of yet another sandwich

"I threw a rock at him! Huh...huh?" the other villains looked at him with a look of 'who invited you?' Why are you here?' You're not even a main Batman villain anyhow.'

"Okay, that happened. So Alejandro, what became of the giant penny?" Ivy asked

"I was a big rock." Croc welled up a little.

"They actually let him keep it!" Two-Face fumed. "Whose deal is it?"

"Mine." Penguin took the cards and gave em a good shuffle "I find your middling machinations mildly diverting, but for sheer criminal genius, none surpass my most recent criminal ornithological inspired entoilment."

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Owen, what does that even-"

"Smaller words please lard ass, you're losing Croc." Joker said

"Huh?" Croc was definitely out of it.

"For weeks I let rumors circulate through the under world of my plan to steal a pair of rare breeding condors from the Gotham zoo. Sure enough on the appointed night, guess who showed up."

_Whoopee, yet another flashback._

_It was late outside the bird enclosure at the zoo, Penguin had just melted away the lock with his umbrella. Which has a lot of do-dads attached to it. Batman landed right behind him._

"_Oh, not this time you bratty bat, take this!" from the umbrella tip, he sprayed Batman with a red gas, which seemed to have no effect. Batman shrugged in confusion. _

"_Curses, I would grab the wrong umbrella." he darted inside, with Batman at his heels. _

_Once he entered, the doors closed and locked behind him. And a spotlight shined from the catwalks above. _

"_Welcome my batty friend, you have taken the bait as I had anticipated." Penguin said over a loud speaker. "Now face your wrath in my Aviary of Doom!"_

"Wait wait wait...slow your roll there big O, the Aviary of what?" Ivy asked

"Yeesh Pengers, how corny could you get?" Joker asked

"Bah, just because you mundane miscreants have no drama in your souls doesn't mean-ugh, anyway once he was I my av-big bird house-[munch]" he took a big sandwich bite.

**To be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**The action packed conclusion coming up next!**

**Cartoongal11: where's the big finish, I HAVE TO KNOW!  
**


	34. Almost Got 'im, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

When we last left our hero, Batman was searching for Penguin in the bird enclosure.

_Guess what? More Flashback_

_Then this happened. Out of nowhere, a ton of humming birds flew towards Batman, who started away. Penguin called from over his megaphone on the catwalk._

"_Beautiful aren't they? Like glittering fragments of the rainbow...or maybe a good frosted doughnut, whatever you see it. By the way, that red stuff I shot you with, nectar which they just absolutely love." Batman continued to run away "It's perfectly harmless I assure you, their poison tipped beaks however, are not. A mere peck or two will just slow you down, three of four you'll start to get dizzy, five or more, ha-ha-ha, well, I'd like to say it was nice knowing you." Batman stopped for a moment, swatting the birds away with his cape trying to find a plan._

_Found, he tossed a batarang and knocked open the sprinkler system above, the birds hit the ground. Penguin wasn't too pleased, even seeing Batman on the ground after a few pecks. _

"_Oh well played, now to take a poison antidote from your, miraculous belt, I suppose?" Batman hit the deck, and got out the antidote gun, only to have his wrist scratched by another bird._

_[sqwak!]_

"_AHHHH!" it was an ostrich of some kind. Batman started to back away._

"_And I recommend doing it quickly before my cassowary's razor sharp talons, rend you asunder." _

_Batman needed a quick plan and fast. He noticed two of the fallen hummingbirds on the ground, with quick thinking Batman grabbed the bird's and jabbed their poison beaks into the leg of the cassowary._

"_SQWAAAAK!" it fell over. Batman quickly gave himself an antidote shot._

_Batman saw Penguin making a break for it. He exploded open the locked door to see the fat ass fly away with his helicopter umbrella. Who does he think he is Inspector Gadget?_

"_Naturally I had flown the coop in a hurry."_

"Still, I almost got 'im."

"Not even close!" Joker chuckled "What you are all forgetting is there's all sorts of ways to get someone. Take my latest run-in with Batzy, twas just last night, as all of America tuned into it's favorite TV show." Joker took out a TV from under the table.

"Wait wait, you just...carry a TV with you?" Two-Face asked

"Well sure, doesn't everyone?"

_FINAL FLASHBACK_

"_It's Late Night Gotham Live!" Harley Quinn squealed "And here's your host, the guy who puts a smile on your face whether you like it or not...The Joker!" The audience clapped (against there will) _

"_Good evening folks I'm the Joker, living proof that you don't have to be crazy to host this show, ha-ha; but it helps!" [Cricket-cricket-cricket]_

"_Okay then, we gotta a real treat for you folks this evening, I ran into my first guess last night while making a withdrawal from the bank! You may know him as the Dark Knight but we prefer to call him history! Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha! Here he is the one and only...Batman." Another curtain raised revealing Batman tied up in some sort of electric chair. With a spinning meter above him. And now, a word from our sponsors_

. . .

Cheese...go eat some!

. . .

"_And were back, with my extra special guest." Joker approached Bat-Trent "So, how's Robin?"_

"_. . ."_

"_Ugh, you depress me you know that! Moving right along, you know kids, we got here something no home should be without, the laughter activated electric chair! Designed by Joker Enterprises JE, where funny comes first! Ha-ha, yes the merest titter of gaffer brings the propultion to maximum zappage! Harley, a demonstration if you would?"_

"_Coming right up Puddin'! Ooh, which laugh should I use, something Bugs Bunny, or something more evil like a-"_

"_JUST LAUGH YOU TWIT!"_

"_Okay-okay, ha...ha."_

_[zaaaaap]_

"_Unh!" Batman winced in pain._

"_But for a real demonstration, were pumping our studio audience full of my patented laughing gas! This'll put them in a good humor-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" _

_The henchmen put on masks, as the gas got pumped into the audience. The crowd started to go nuts with laughter._

"_HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"_

_[zaaaaaAAAAAAP]_

"_Unh-UGGGGH!"_

"_Gee. These Dumbasses will laugh at anything, even the phonebook, Harl?" Harley began to read from the phonebook._

"_Ah-ha-hem, Marshall Adams, 555-0120."_

"_HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"_

_[ZaaaaaAAAAAAAAAP]_

"_AHHHHH!" the needle kept getting higher._

"_Abagail Adams 555-5515."_

"_HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"_

_[zaaaaaaaaaaaaaap]_

"_GaHHHHH!"_

_Getting cocky...and sarcastic, Joker put a sausage on a meat fork and started to roast it on Batman's charring body._

"_M.J. Addison 894-2684-[whi-crack]-Gah!" That is my actual cell phone number by the way._

_Catwoman had whipped the book from Harley's hands. She was in the catwalk, starring daggers down on stage. She leaped down and tackled herself into Harley_

"_Ugh-HEYYY!" then right into Joker._

"_Oof!"_

_His fork fell right into Batman's lap. Then Catwoman threw the villain dream team into the backdrop wall behind Joker's hosting desk, destroying the whole ting and leaving the two in a complete mess._

"_Shows over Joker!" Catwoman yelled. Joker stuck his hand out of the wreckage._

"_Catwoman ladies and gents, let's hear it for her." Catwoman then whipped off the applause sign above crashing it into the remaining henchmen. Batman then was able to use his hand to prick the fork into one of the wrist restraints, and unlock himself, just as the chair exploded from all the electricity._

"Almost got 'im." Two-Face shook his head.

"Yes if not for that infatuated feline." Penguin added

"Oh, but that's the best part...

_Okay fine, this is the last flashback_

_Once the chair went up, I was out of there toot sweet._

"_Oh no you don't-[crack-thud]"_

"_Ow!" Catwoman snagged Joker's ankles, and he hit the floor right on the chin. She tried to pull him in triumphantly, but!_

"_Miss kitty still wanted to play cat and mouse, never realizing I still had an ace up my sleeve-[boing]"_

"_Ah-unh." Catwoman was knocked out cold by Harley who shot her with a boxing glove from her gun._

"And by God, speaking of aces, lucky me-ha-ha!" Joker threw down his hand, 5 aces...well four with a joker wild...season finale...

"Oh!"

"Aw dammit."

"Typical."

"Hey, lemme see those cards!" Penguin took Joker's hand.

"Now-now, don't be sore losers." Joker threw the pot into his sack.

"Hey, I don't get it, you just hit Catwoman and left her there?" Croc asked

"Oh come on Crockers, didn't I say there was more then one way to get someone, just as we speak, shes being trussed up at the Pussy-Foots pet food factory, first thing tomorrow I'm sending a lovely can of cat food, to Batman-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Joker laughed. Suddenly Croc stood up, with his voice changed

"I don't think so."

"Huh-whoooooooa-[crash!]" He threw Joker across the bar and onto another poker table, the light above shook violently.

"Uh, was it something I said?" Joker asked in pain.

You can thank Glen Murakami, cause this next story board makes absolutely no sense. As the light faded to dark around Croc as it swung, you could see Batman's cowl, then as it appeared Croc's face, the other villains took to their stereotypical weaponry.

"Well-well, an imposter in our midst." Penguin said

"Risking it all to save your kittin Batman?" Ivy asked

"You're not getting away this time." Two-Face added

"Maybe-[snap]"

He snapped his fingers, and sudden;y the bar patrons suddenly drew guns, Commissioner Gordon and Detective Bullock were there too, the whole shebang was a sting. The villains dropped their weaponry.

"But I'm not so bad at setting traps myself."

Now we cutscene to the Pussy-Foot's pet food factory. Tied up and gagged on a convenor belt feet from a nasty, dirty food cutting saw, was Catwoman, with Harley ready to pounce at the controls.

"I had a kitty once, ya know, they don't always land on their feet." she playfully scratched Catwoman's head. Who growled. "Look at the bright side Gwen, by tomorrow you'll be feeding hundreds of hungry cats, the fun starts as soon as Mistah J gets back."

"I don't think so!" Batman appeared on the catwalk.

"Stay back B-Man or say ciao to yer girlfriend, cat chow that is-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! That's a good little rodent, and just to make sure ya don't follow me." Harley started the belt. She ran away. Batman quickly sprung into action, easily capturing the ditzy clown girl.

"Gee Batman what are you going to do, kick me around, or save your kitten?" he turned to Catwoma getting closer to the saw. "You only have time for one." she smirked.

Batman raised an eyebrow, and used his free hand to activate the emergency stop lever right next to where he was standing, stopping the belt just in time as always.

"Ha-ha, good call, help!"

Harley was then arrested. Batman met Catwoman atop the building.

"Thanks for saving me back there."

"I owed you one, also; this is your one time I let you escape, remember that deal?"

"I remember, and I wish our little relationship was more then just the two of us saving each other from freaks and weirdos." she got closer. "Maybe we can find a place without the freaks, without Gotham...maybe, without masks."

"Don't push it Gwen." They kissed passionately. the sirens below attracted her attention, when she turned Back, Batman was already swinging away.

"Hmm, Almost Got 'Im." she shook her head.

**THE END!**

Hey, howdy people, yeah Richard Moll here, the B:TAS voice of Harvey Dent/Two-Face, and I believe I did him in the flashbacks in this particular episode of TDB. We hoped you enjoyed this little vignette, and wish that you leave us a REVIEW! Your feedback is important to us as always, we got a little more Two-Face up next, with a dash of Rupert Thorne, stay tuned! And to Cartoongal11: Niko wants to know, where the rest is, cause it's getting good.

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Drew Nelson: **Joker

**Marco Grazzini: **Two-Face

**Scott McCord: **Penguin

**Katie Crown: **Poison Ivy

**Adam Reid: **Killer Croc

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Catwoman

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Harley Quinn

**Carlos Alazaraqui: **Henchmen, bar patrons, crowd laughing

**Cree Summer: **crowd laughing, advertizing spokes girl, patrons

_**In Flashbacks...**_

**Kevin Conroy: **Batman

**Mark Hamill: **Joker, crowd laughing

**Paul Williams: **Penguin

**Diane Pershing: **Poison Ivy

**Richard Moll: **Two-Face

**Arleen Sorkin: **Harley Quinn

**Adrienne Barbeau: **Catwoman

Goodnight Everybody!


	35. Two's a Crowd, Part I

**Villain(s): Two-Face, Rupert Thorne, The Falcone Family, the Maroni Family, The Pareto Family**

**Episode Archive: ORIGINAL!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Teleplay: Tom Ruegger**

**Directed By: Bruce W. Timm**

**Storyboard Direction: Glen Murakami**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 17: Two of a Kind**

Thorne sat in his office talking with the other Don's on the Gotham Mafia Commission. Twas him, Sal Maroni, Carmine Falcone, and Lucio Pareto.

"So Thorne, what's uh, what's with this big meeting here?" Sal asked

"Don't tell me you plan to off the whole commission in one place, you know you'd be dead." Luke added

"Gentlemen, lemme assure you you are all here on a legitimate call to business." Thorne turned around in his chair.

"What kinda business?" Carmine asked

"Simple, you are all aware in the past several months my businesses were nearly ruined, correct?"

"Yeah it was the freakin' Batman, right?"

"No Lucio it was that mick hustler Boxy Bennett-"

"Carmine, Lucio you're both wrong, wasn't Batman or Boxy...it was Dent."

"Oh yeah, Two-Face." Sal remembered.

"So...were here because?"

"You are all here, Carmine, because; I need him out of the picture, if he were to ever escape again, he could do all he can to ruin my business, and I can assure you, once I'm out of they way, guess whose next!"

"Alright, alright, we see your point, I guess we'll put a crew together and go whack Dent at the Fruit Loop Box?"

"No Sal...why should Rupert here get all the credit, I say we all just put a small crew up and go get Dent. After he's tried a million times and failed, let's have the rest of the Commission have a go at the former, DA." Lucio suggested

"Well, how could I argue with that logic?" Thorne shrugged

"Alright then, it's settled, we'll go and get Alejandro Dent. Rupee, it was fun as always, but we really must go." Carmine stood up.

"Please fellas, come back anytime...anytime." They left. "Suckers! Ha-ha-ha-ha!" The Kingpin swung around in his chair. His secretary Candace entered

"What was that about Rupee?"

"Oh nothing, just the other families, or should I say pigeons walking into my trap! They want to whack Ally Dent, however; once they realize they can't stop them, he'll go after them, and when he does...he'll get rid of them all, and when he does...I'll be the only Don on the Gotham Commission, it's brilliant."

"But, what if-"

"Nah-ah Candace, I've already worked that out, there's no way he'll pin this on me. And even if he does fail, at least I'll have the satisfaction of knowing Alejandro Dent is no more. Hmm-hmm-hmm, this might be the greatest plan I've ever thought of."

Anyway at Arkham Asylum, Trent Wayne and Alfred walked into the visitor's room, wanting to see a certain someone. Wonder who it is...

"You sure it is wise to see Alejandro while he is rehabilitating sir?" Alfred asked

"Why not, I mean; according to Doctor Leland and Doctor Bartholomew, he's gotten better, he's barely relying on the coin anymore."

"Maybe because the last time Batman and Two-Face met, the coin saved your life."

"Ixneh Alfred."

"My apologies sir." They entered the visitor's room. A guard greeted them.

"Uh, Mr. Wayne, Mr. Pennyworth, this way please, table 2."

"Of course it is." the two sighed.

The other door opened, and Alejandro walked towards the table, accompanied by Doctor Bartholomew, an older doctor at Arkham.

"Trent! Alfred, recognize this good looking guy?"

"Hello old friend." Trent greeted

"Hey Trent." he sat down.

"He's made quite a leap in his rehabilitation, making his own decisions, not lashing out at people, I think all that's left is the surgery."

"Let's hope so." Alfred added

"Well, I'll just leave you guys alone." Bartholomew walked away

"As will I sir, the vending machine is calling for me." Alfred chuckled leaving in the opposite direction.

"So?" Trent asked

"So, what?"

"You think you could ever forgive Thorne for doing this?"

"Ugh...Thorne...I dunno, maybe. He's still there ya know."

"Your alter ego?" Trent asked

"Yeah, just can;t shake him you know...For the passed year or so I have been so consumed with him it's so hard...to just-"

"Be yourself?"

"Exactly. It's like he controls me." Alejandro got out his coin "And this...this stupid coin, controls him. And I can't just get rid of it, he won't let me...but when I control him, all I gotta do is get rid of the coin you know amigo?"

"I know exactly what you mean."

"You know it's funny, I owe most of this to Batman. Wasn't for him stealing this coin, I'd still be as messed up as I have...hmm-hmm-hmm, almost got 'im though...almost got 'im. That's not me talking."

"Right. So how have you been otherwise."

"Trent...Do I even have to explain?"

We cutscene to outside, where four well dressed goons leave their car, guns in hand and approach the entrance to Arkham.

"Alright fellas, hit em fast, hit em hard hard-"

"Uh, ain't we supposed to kill Dent?"

"Whatever, let's just go!" they stormed into the lobby -[rapid fire]- "Everybody, hit da floor, now!"

"You heard him yous mugs, hit it!"

. . .

"He calls himself the Joker?" Trent asked...yeah like he has no idea.

"Yeah, you were at my testimonial remember? How could you not-[bang-bang-bang]-what is that?"

"Sounds like...gunshots, excuse me Al, I'm gonna check it out." Trent stood up, and headed for the nearest exit.

"Hmm, wonder why he would hear gunshots..." Al pondered.

Trent made a made dash into the hallway to find a place to change. He ran passed Alfred by the vending machine.

"Uh, Master Trent I believe you're needed at the Lobby."

"Understood Alfred, cover me will ya!"

"Right away sir."

Trent quickly changed into Batman and rocketed his way into the lobby, only two of the gunmen were present.

"Halt!"

"Well, lookie here Carlo, it's the freakin Bat!"

"Figures we'd find him here at Arkham!"

"I'm gonna clip yer wings ya little pes-[pok]" as he raised his gun, Batman threw a batarang into the muzzel rendering it useless.

"You were saying?" Batman smirked

"Ugh! Cover me Jim!"

"Wit pleasure!"

The gangster ran towards Batman, only to have himself thrown over Batman's shoulders. Don't lean into your hits dumbass!

"Next!"

"Carlo! I'm gonna drill ya, Bat-Bastard!" gross that's disgusting. He started to fire in bursts, only to have Batman dodge everything! "Dammit, empty! Your dead meat!"

"Bring it on!" Batman called his ass out.

The guy sprinted forward and threw several combinations Batman's way.

Pwak!

"Aw!" Batman got him with a right jab "You little-[pow]-Aw!" then with a shot to the gut.

"I can go all day guy!"

"Yeah so can I, YEAHHHH!" the gangster took a running start, and Batman dodged his blows, then coming back triumphant with a left hook, and uppercut combination which took the gangster to the ground.

Pwak-Zok-thud-

"UGH!" Batman grabbed him by the collar.

"No, please!"

"I'm only gonna ask this once, WHY!"

"D-D-D-D-Dent!"

"Alejandro!" he left the scared gangster on the floor.

Meanwhile, the other two gangsters made their way into the visitor's room, Doctor Bartholomew tried to keep them away

"No, you can't, he-he's still unstable-[pow]"

"Well guess what pops, we don't give a damn!" they stormed inside the room.

"Dent!"

"Ah! Who...who, who are?"

"Let's make this quick lawyer boy, this here's compliments of Don Falcone, Maroni, and Pareto!" they aimed their guns

"The whole commission wants me dead?"

"That's right, pretty neat plan huh?"

"Idios mio." The former DA sneered.

"Whatever that means, we'll take it as your last words...say goodnight."

"No wait! I never-AHHHH!" he heard the coin flip in his head., he snapped, again "YOU LITTLE WHIMP! Get rid of them! Do it! Do it NOW!"

"What the?"

"I knew this guy was crazy, but-"

"You little weasels!" Two-Face bellowed "That pussy Dent is gone, I'm in charge now! For good! Now, if the Commission wants me...I'll just give myself to them-AHHH!"

"Whoa-[crash]" Two-Face launched a table at the two gangsters, just as Batman ran in

"Al, no!"

"BATMAN! I don't need you interfering with what I gotta do now! The Commission wants me dead! I'm just gonna have to beat them to the punch, no coin flip, no second guesses, there's only one way to truly cleanse this town! And I'm going to see it goes through!"

"Alejandro-"

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PESTULANCE!" he grabbed another table, unfortunately Batman had little time to act

"No, Two-F-[crash]"

"Nice knowing you Batzy, if you need me, I'll be getting back at Pareto, Maroni, and Falcone if you need me." Two-Face said "And by the way, DON'T need me!" he stormed out.

It took time for Batman to throw the heavy table off of him, but once he did, Two-Face was gone.

"I gotta find Al, ugh, before it's too late."

**TO BE CONTINUED!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Cartoongal11: Proud of You =D More Please =)**

**GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!  
**


	36. Two's a Crowd, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**3 Weeks later...**

In his limo, Lucio Pareto was being driven from his penthouse to his office, escorted by 3 bodyguards. It was a sunshiny Gotham morning-[BANG]-and that just ruined it.

[screeeeech-crash] The limo hit a lamppost as it crashed. The driver had been hit by a sniper.

"Dammit!, whose hit!" Pareto yelled

"Driver sir!"

"Sh*t, Costello, take the wheel!"

"Yes sir-[bang]"

"Dammit!"

"Ha-ha-ha, there's number 2." she distant sniper said to himself

"Crap! Ugh! Sam, Paulie, we'll lose 'im on foot, guns up let's go!" the Don ordered.

The three exited the limosine quickly. Racing towards some kind of cover, they found a stroke of luck by a nearby jewelry store.

"Boss, in this ally way!"

"Good, good, come on, Sam, in first, Paulie, cover the rear!"

"Yes sir bo-[bang]-unh-[thud]" As he dashed into the ally, Paulie took a shot to the head

"Paulie!"

"Dammit!" Pareto groused "Sam watch for this gunman, I'll scout up ahead!"

"But boss!"

"Don't worry about me dammit, just do it!"

"Yes sir!"

Sam waited for the sniper, but it seemd like the coast was clear, the only sounds was the incoming police sirens, and maybe a few people screaming off in the distance. Meanwhile, Lucio tried to find an exit down the ally way.

"Hey boss!"

"Yeah!" Sam turned his head around "I think were good, the sniper-[bang]"

"SAM!" right in the back of the head. The Don an forward only to have a shot hit his left shoulder, completely close-lining him to the ground.

"Ah-[thud]" he started to breathe heavily, his soon to be assailant approached him carrying a PSL sniper rifle.

"Well-well-well, Don Lucio Pareto."

"D-D-D-Dent..." he sneered

"Right, you're not as dumb as you look." he raised a smaller pistol, shooting Pareto's right from his hand-[bang]"

"Ah! Listen, Aleja-"

"TWO-FACE!"

"Two-Face fine...I-look, I- I-[bang]-Ah!" Two-Face got him in the neck., Pareto coughed up some blood.

"AHHH-cough-cough!"

"Who...wanted...me...DEAD!"

"It was...wa...w-ach-choke-cough-uh...unh..." He faded

"Damn, no matter, there's still two more of you, ha-ha-ha-ha."

The next day, at the Taste of Sicily restaurant, the place where he normally frequents, Don Sal Maroni was enjoying some dinner.

"If you'll excuse me fellas, you garlic goes right through me." chuckles filled his table. "Uh, Santino, Giovanni, mind waiting outside for me?"

"Sure thing boss."

"Excellent."

"Maroni's boys waited outside the empty bathroom. Sal quickly did his business, and went to wash his hands. But who should come out of an adjacent stall while he wasn't looking. Sal just noticed Two-Face in the mirror.

"You-ACK!" he got his neck in a garrote.

"Salvatore Maroni, I suppose you heard that Pareto found his way onto my list. Such a pity, and how ironic!" Two face said "Ask yourself this amigo, is it your lucky day? I don't think so-"

Ack-ch-ck-ack-ack!" he choked

"So, who...is...setting...me...up? WHO?"

"Was...AK...wa...unh!"

"DAMMIT! That's two down, good thing there's still Falcone, I'm sure he'll talk, and he'll pay-oh yes...pay." Two-Face clenched a fist-

"Boss!

"Don Maroni!

"Everything okay in there!" Two-Face was quick to leave hearing the guards outside, luckily he knew his way around the vents.

Some time later, Bullock was investigating the crime scene with Batman and Robin, and Gotham CSI.

"Damn, Maroni and Pareto in as many days." Bullock pondered

"There's no way this a coincidence." Batman said firmly

"You think they're connected?" Robin and Chef asked

"Most likely, two very powerful Kingpins in Gotham put to rest in two days...no doubt it'll be a third."

"Falcone must be next." Chef thought

"Probably, I'll see if I can protect him while at the same time bring him in if possible."

"Good luck Bats, I'll follow my own...leads." the two had vanished

"How does he do that-"

"Detective Bullock, over here sir."

The two entered the Batmobile and drove away to Falcone's HQ at the Gotham Marriott.

"You think it was Two-Face?" Robin asked

"Has to be, there is no one else who would have that much beef with all three kingpins."

"Three...what about a fourth-"

"Thorne, exactly, Rupert wants and expects Two-Face to eliminate all of the crime families in Gotham so he'll be on top." Batman explained

"Oh I get it...sorta."

"Just let's go save Falcone, k Cody?"

"Got it!"

Meanwhile walking down the hallway on his office level, Falcone definitely knew something was up. Especially when he approached the elevator. Maybe 20 feet away, the door opened, but the elevator opened empty.

"What the...I guess maintenance will have to-huh-whoa!"

Out of nowhere from the elevator a rope with a hangman's noose grabbed Falcone by the neck and pulled into the shaft!

"AHHHH! Help!"

"Ah Falcone, the last of the Kingpins!"

"Dent! Where-AHHH-HURTS!"

"It better, now, who set me up!" Two-Face called out

"Alright fine, I'll sing, it was...it was Thorne!"

"Hmm, figures, old Rupert always had it out for Alejandro...and me. Thank you Carmine, your services are no longer needed, as you mafia guys say, arrividercci!" [snap]

"Wha-AHHHHHH!" The Kingpin fell, only to be rescued in the nick of time by Batman and Robin by Batling Hook.

"Oh...oh thank God."

"Falcone...Where is Two-Face headed?" Robin asked

"Thorne, he wants to get Thorne!"

"Figures, now Carmine...about all that racketeering?"

Anyway Two-Face raced over to Thorne Enterprises, where the Kingpin was in his office. Going over the days returns. When suddenly, Frankie, his chief liutenant ran in

"Boss, Boss!"

"Frankie how many times had I told you about-"

"THORNE!"

"Dent!"

"That's why!"

"So, Two-Face, what brings you to m-"

"YOU KNOW WHY THORNE! YOU SET ME UP!"

"Did I? Must have-"

"Don't play games with me you little weasel!"

"Oh I'll play all the gaes I want Dent, you did exactly as I wanted, Frankie?"

"I'll take care of him boss!" Frankie ran towards Two-Face "Come here you!"

"I don't think so-[pwak]" he threw Frankie against the wall.

"Ahhhhhh-[thud]"

"It's just you and me Thorne-"

"Not likley!" Thorne took out his gun which Two-Face shot out of the way.

"Like I said, just you and me...and you know what they say...Two's a crowd-[bang-bang-bang]" He shot out the window behind Thorne

"No...N-n-noooooo!" Two-Face held Thorne over the edge

"I know you set me up, so you could both rub me out and be the top Kingpin in Gotham, a perfect two part plan! THOSE ARE MY SCHTICKS!" MINE

"No, Dent! PLEASE!"

"I've told one too many times, it's...TWO-F-[pwak] AW!" A Batarang knocked Two-Face's grip off, and the two hit the floor as Batman moved in.

"Dent, no!"

You! How many times must I drill this into your head Batman...I. Am. NOT. ALEJANDRO. DENT! I'M. TWO-FACE!"

"Stop!" Batman ordered "How much better are you going to feel by just getting some stupid revenge! Thorne is scum I'll agree with you-"

"Hello, right here ya know!"

"Shut-up! Batman, I don't care, I have no feelings for anyone else, except myself...and this coin."

"I know you're in there Alejandro! Stop this! You can do it!"

"No...I...I-"

"Fight it Al, fight it!" Frankie ran towards Batman, who just gave him a back punch-[thwak] "FIGHT IT!"

"I...I...AHHHHHHHH!" Two-Face dropped the coin and hit the floor. Crying I might add.

"Whew...glad that's over. It's okay Al, it's okay."

After that, Batman and Robin were on the roof across the street.

"Where's Falcone?"

"At police HQ like you asked."

"Good."

"Trent...you think there's still hope for him?" Robin asked

"I'm not sure Cody, but here's what I do know...Crazy as it may seem...I know my old buddies still in there...and one day...he'll find the courage, to stand up for what he fears most...himself."

**THE END...**

Sup, hey guys, Niko here. Just wanted to thank you guys for reading, and to ask you to PLEASE REVIEW! Oh, season 2 is winding down! Yeah! The only episodes we got left are: Harlequinade, Fear Me! And The Joker's Wild, in that order. I have an away game tomorrow night, DO NOT expect an update. And to Cartoongal: it's really keeping in suspense, I love it! Stay tuned guys, Harlequinade up next.

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

**David Oldring: **Robin

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

_**Also Starring...**_

**Marco Grazzini: **Two-Face

**Paul Sorvino: **Rupert Thorne

**Ray Liotta: **Carmine Falcone

**Corey Burton: **Sal Maroni

**Carlos Alazaraqui: **Lucio Pareto

**Frank Welker: **Doctor Bartholomew

**Tom Kenny: **Sam, other henchmen

**Diane Michelle: **Candace

**Scott Menville: **Frankie

**Mark Hamill: **Costello, Henchmen #2, #3

**Billy West: **CSI, various henchmen

**Jeff Bennett: **Paulie, various

GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!


	37. Harlequinade! Part I

**Villain(s): Joker, Harley Quinn**

**Episode Rewrite: Harlequinade (1994)**

**Written by: Paul Dini (who else?)**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 18: Harlequinade!**

It was in a seedy yet small warehouse at the South Gotham Docks. Some of the seediest men in the country came to see a slicked greasy dealer's auction for a huge item of interest.

"Here it is gentlemen, enough ka-boom in this bomb to turn Gotham City into the world's biggest pot hole, yours to pick clean or blow sky high! Let's start the bidding at oh...1 million?" The dealer finished. The bids rang out

"1 million!"

"2 million!"

"3 million!"

"5!"

"Gentlemen please, don't insult me with nickel and dime bids, the man walks out with this atomic bomb walks out with Gotham in his pockets! Your city, or your explosion. Now, with that said, what am I bid?"

"How about nothing!" A voice came from the darkness. "That's right, zero-zip-zilch-nada." Joker came from the darkness, wearing a top hat. He flicked a joker card to the floor, the razor sharp edges stuck. "My personal check of bupkiss, drawn on the first national bank of squadoo!" Quickly all guns were pointed at the confused Joker.

"Oh, so sorry losers but this lot is sold..." he takes the hat off "To me." On his head was a smaller bomb with the fuse fading fast.

Everyone wasted no time vacating the warehouse after Joker's little ultimatum. All except the dealer, who fell to the floor. Joker threw the bomb to him. It popped, a clown face popped out, and spewed some Joker gas...now with 20% more gas!

"You really should loosen up dealer, have a laugh now and then."

"Ha-ha-ah-ha-ah-ha-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" he started to laugh uncontrollably.

"Oh that's so much more pleasant!"

Later at the police investigation, the bomb had vanished, along with the Joker, Chris Gordon was talking to Mayor Hill over his police radio while Batman listened in.

"_Alerting the public now would only create a panic Commissioner."_

"But if that madman plans to use the bomb, we've got to evacuate the city, and fast!"

"_I can't evacuate 10 million people on your suspicion! We don't even know if the bomb is still in Gotham, keep me posted if anything turns up." _ the transmission ended there

"Well, that was no help." Chris said

"Joker will be extra cautious." Batman pointed to his brain"We need to think like him, or maybe, recruit someone who does."

We cutscene you now to Arkham Asylum, more specifically, the cell of Lindsey Quinzel. Laying backwards on her bed, chewing on some gum. Playfully humming to herself...Or whatever is inside her so called brain, I'll leave that up to your imaginations. Suddenly Batman entered her cell.

"Ms. Quinn."

"Huh-ah-[thud, choke, gulp.]" she swallowed her gum. "Dontcha ever knock before entering a ladies boudoir?" she asked standing up

"I need help." Batman ignored her.

"Well you've certainly come to the right place, I recommend a lobotomy." ZING

"...Ha-ha, the joker's stolen a bomb, and we can't find it, this city and everyone in it is going up in a mushroom cloud!"

"Hmm, so you want me to turn squealer on Mistah J-Ha!" she fell back onto her bed. "Sorry B-man, no deal."

"Well then, how bout this." Batman smiled "I talked to Gordon and Dr. Bartholomew, you help me out, and they'll write your ticket out of here."

"Ooh." Lindsey perked up with an all too familiar evil smirk.

"If...you promise no double-cross." and, smile go bye-bye.

"Aw shoot, take all the fun out of life."

"I don't have time for games..." Batman started to walk away.

"Okay-okay-okay, deal, shake?" she put out her hand, Batman wasn't exactly compliant, so Lindsey simply took up his hand and shook it herself.

"Oh the irony of it, the grim stalwart Dark Knight and his greatest female adversary working together!" Where, where's Catwoman? Ha-ha, I keed!

Anyway we cutscene to the Batmobile, where Lindsey was handcuffed.

"I sense a lack of trust...or, maybe I am deranged?" the ditz pondered. Batgirl appeared over a transmission

"Need any help keeping zippy under control?" she asked

"I'm fine, in the meantime check in with your da-I mean Gordon and see if anything turned up."

"I'm on it." the transmission ended. Unaware to Batman, Lindsey was able to get out of the cuffs. She reached for the nearest shiny red button.

"I wanna listen to the radio!"

"Don't!" she activated the emergency parachute break...thingy. The Batmobile swerved to the side of the road.

"Ha-ha, oops."

"Listen and listen good...you don't touch anything, say anything, or DO ANYTHING UNLESS I TELL YOU TO, GOT IT!"

"Yes sir." she said sheepishly.

(Hey if you wanna laugh your ass off for a few seconds, Youtube "Batman Chews Out Harley", same scene, but more funny then just reading it.)...Anywho, they continued driving.

"The Joker wasn't seen at any of his old hideouts, I want you to show me the last place you two were at." he turned to Lindsey who was just mocking him by now.

"Uh-ha-ha, okay." And at this comically themed hideout, Lindsey turned on the lights.

"This used to be our special little love nest."

"You don't say."

"Wait right here while I go and uh...slip into something a little more comfortable."

"No tricks." Batman warned

"Hey we have a deal remember?" Lindsey disappeared.

While she did oh so suspiciously-Have you ever noticed how Lindsey's knockers are just f*cking HUGE! How is that age appropriate? How I ask you HOW.

Ignoring that, Behind a curtain Batman saw a manasory of monitors, cameras each watching over several offices in Gotham. Commissioner Gordon, Gotham Police, Mayor Hill, just to name a few.

Needless to say, Batman was a little, well...mad as hell. But behind him, were the hyaenas, Bud and Lou.

"Grrrrrrrrr!"

"Huh...AH!" he wasn't quick enough to pull a gadget, and they jumped him. But who should cartheel to his rescue? None other then Harley Quinn of course.

"Ah, I feel like a human being again...come here babies, mommies home!" the two ran to their master. "Oh aren't you the sweetest, yes you are, yes you are."

"Yeah, they're just charming. Just freaking charming...like a hole in the head."

"Oh stop being such a sour bat, hey; how do you like our Ha-Ha-cienda? See, I'm plenty smart, just used a big word comically and correctly in a sentence." Harley smiled arms crossed

"It's just fine...These monitors however...it looks like Joker has the whole city wired."

"He's a genius." Harley cooed

"What's the real attraction Quinn, you and that psychopath? No way it was just cause you let him scramble your brain." Batman said

"I just knew the second I stepped into Arkham that Mistah J was the man for me, he listens to me, and he loves me, he really does." Harley added throwing a beefy steak to Bud and Lou.

"Yeah he really must've loved ya the day we first met, and he pushed you out that window."

"Hey, I forgot, you are his honor to kill, my mistake, and I'm fine now, see."

"Ugh, there surely is no hope for you."

On the road again Batman called Batgirl. Harley was enjoying a candy apple.

"_Evening boss."_

"Any word from the mayor or Commissioner Gordon?"

"_No, not yet. How goes your search?"_

"Quinn said the old Acme joke factory was an old hideout the two once used, meet me there asap."

"_I'm on it."_

The two quickly reached the seemingly abandoned factory. Batman readied a Batling hook.

"Climb up."

"I can get up there all by myself thank you." she took out a joker firing grappling hook. [boing...thwonk.] until it fell back down and hit her right in the head.

"Owww...ha-ha-ha...ha, okay, take me away." Batman and Harley flew up to the 3rd story. "AHHHHHHH!"

The two entered through a window and into a dark, and box cluttered storage room. Batman and Harley sneaked around the room, only to find cob webs and dust...and uh well, boxes.

"Sneak, sneak, sneak." Harley chuckled

"Shh!"

"What are ya shhing for? No ones been in this dump for years." she said surely

"We'll see about that." Batman opened a door. Which led to a balcony and staircase, below that was a large casino. Illegally run. With live entertainment, wet bar, slots, tables, keno, and of course-

"Gangsters." Batman groused emotionless. They noticed him above on the balcony. Batman tried to step back, but of course, Harley hit him over the head.

"UNH!" Batman was tied up and thrown on a craps table, and a mustached gangster approached the duo.

"Well-well-well, what do we have here?" He said, his name was Boxy Bennett.

"Hiya Boxy!" Harley yepled

"Harley Quinn, last time I saw ya they locked ya in the squirrel farm and swallowed the key." he drew his gun and aimed it right at her face "Why'd ya bring the bat here?"

"Gulp, now Boxy." she began pushing the gun away. "You know I would never work with Batman, I knew you'd blow us both away if you thought that."

"Grrr." Batman growled.

"you thought right sugar." they put their guns away.

"Whew...so yous haven't seen Mistah J around have ya?"

"No I have not! Ya know I could never wonder how a pretty little dame like yourself would end up wit a slob like da Joker." Boxy said

"Now Boxy, sure my Puddin's a little rough sometimes." she saw Batgirl out a window. Having an idea "But relationship doesn't have it's ups and downs?" she asked approaching the stage. "Ah-ha-hem, B flat." she asked the pianist...ha-ha, it's a funny word.

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

SUCK IT, SUCK IT VOORHEES, 4-0 BITCHES YEEEEEEEAH! YOU LOSE AGAIN SUCKERS! Sorry, just a little excited is all


	38. Harlequinade! Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Harley sings a song called "Say Were Sweethearts Again" there is no better song to describe the "love" Between Harley and Joker than this one. But I do not feel like writing down all those lyrics so were gonna skip that.

While she sang, she was able to distract all the gangsters attention from Batgirl sneaking in through the back window...stumbling on her way down...knocking into three tables, and seven slot machines. Then making a ruckus trying to get Batman untied-Jeez Bridgette it's called stealth dammit.

Halrey's boobs can't distract them forever...or can they? Anyway, As the song ended Batman and Batgirl sneaked behind the gangster. Harley got some claps as she finished.

"Thank you, oh thank you, you're all too kind, just so kind." she said. Batman tapped Boxy on the shoulder.

"Huh-[sucker punch]" right in da face.

"Hey!"

"He's escaped!"

"Wa-hoo! B&B alright!" Harley shouted. They started to fire guns in Harley's direction. Batman was quick to grab her off the stage.

"Gah! They're all working together!" Boxy yelled.

Batgirl ducked behind a poker table, 5 armed gangsters fired in her direction. With quick thinking she spotted a free standing roulette table.

"Bingo." she fired a batling hook in the middle, and pulled it down, crashing it into the gangsters.

"Ha, I think we got...ah GO-[crash]"

"Yeah, that's taking out the trash alright!" she said

With the casino nearly destroyed, the only problem left seemed to be a few gangsters and Bennett.

"Let's go Quinn? Quinn!"

"Hey Bman, check this out! Ya-hoo!" Harley cut the cord to the chandelier she was sitting on, and sent it crashing down on the gangsters and Bennett, clustered around each other which made it easier. The three headed for the back exit. And down the ally way towards their respected vehicles.

"Did ya see the way I handled those creeps? Yay so delicious! I was like pow-zap, oh Batgirl eat your heart out sucker!"

"Sigh, what was she before she went bonkers again?"

"Your dad didn't tell you? She was a clinical psychiatrist." Batgirl stopped for a moment

"Figures." she chuckled. They approached the Batmobile and Bat-Cycle.

"Did Gordon find anything?" Batman asked

"Yeah, came up with squat, and here's the funny thing, the mayor still won't let him evacuate the city." Then Harley started to laugh.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, oh it's so brilliant, way to go Mistah J!"

"What are you saying?" Batman asked

"Oh come on Bats, you've seen how my puddin' keeps an eye on Gotham, what better way to tie up the cops...than to tie up the mayor!"

At Mayor Hill's big and awesome pool behind his house, he was in fact tied up in a chair, with Joker were three henchmen, and Joker decided to take a nice dip in the pool."

"Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm, Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Batman, and Batgirl looked through their binoculars behind the scenes in the backyard. They saw Joker getting dressed, and the henchmen submerging the mayor in the water.

"See, do I know how Mistah J works or what? And here you thought I was just another bubble headed blond bimbo, well the jokes on you, I'm not even a real bimbo! Or, was it blond, oh I have to read the script better."

"Good job." Batman said approaching the clown girl.

As Harley was gonna give him a high five, Batman quickly cuffed her hand to the gear shift in the Batmobile.

"Hey, what gives?"

"I can't risk you warning the Joker, I'm not dumb you know."

"Now Bats, would I do a thing like that-[shh]" YES! the glass closed. "Hey come on!" she saw the two disappear. "Oi, you just can't trust some people." her glove was actually a metal one, that her real hand was able to slip through. Now free, she went to town on the buttons. Now we cutscene to Joker and Mayor Hill, Joker was drying his hair.

"Nothing like a moonlight dip, eh Mr. Mayor, heh-heh?" Joker asked

"Please, just make your ransom demand and get on with it!" Mayor Hill begged

"Oh no ransom this time Hammy."

"Wha...you...you can't mean-"

"Oh yes indeedy-do!" Joker said rubbing the atomic bomb sitting on a pedestal by the pool. "Why should I take out you, the cops, and the Batman separately, when I could blast all you losers at once!" Joker got over a two-way "Send down the plane boys, were blowing town, literally-ha-ha."

"_Yes sir"_

"But...but all those innocent people?" Hill asked

"Some joke on them huh? Think of it as, the ultimate punchline-Nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-ah-hah-ha!" he chuckled evilly as he kicked Hill under the water.

Just as Joker started to walk away, Batman made his move. He tossed a Batarang right at the Back of Joker's head, knocking him right to the ground.

"Gah!" Batman went to pick him up, but as he did-[chok-chok] "HUH!" suddenly, his wrists were stapled to the tree.

"What the-hey!" The Batgirl found herself bound together by a Bat-bolo. Just as she got mayor Hill from the pool. And there stood Harley Quinn holding a specialized gun that fires two large staples, and a bolo laucncher.

"It's amazing what you find in people's glove compartments-EEEEE!" she screached. A surprised as hell Joker gasped as the clown girl jumped into his arms

"Harley?"

"Hi Puddin!" his frown changed into a slight smile. "You clever little minx, how'd you escape from Arkham?" Yeah cause he wants you dead.

"Batman sprung me sos I can find you, locked me up in his mean old car too." she said turning to Batman...one of her tassels got stuck in Joker's right eye socket, which steamed him a little bit. "Awww." he said trying to be sympathetic.

"Quinn! We had a deal!" Batman groused.

"Sorry B-man, no one ever said anything bout hurtin' Mistah J." Suddenly the plane rode into view. It was a freakin dated WWI biplane, with gunner positions in the front and back, with under storage.

"Ooh, fancy, does it have a bar?" Harley asked. Joker got out another remote and pressed the button, a panel came off of the bomb, revealing a timer delay and wires.

"_Countdown sequence has been initiated, 10 minutes to detonation."_

"Good lord!" Hill grimmaced.

"Come Princess, we'll get to a safe altitude, and watch the fireworks." Joker said placing Harley into the under storage.

"It's lucky you were here Harley, that countdown sequence didn't leave Joker much time to spring by Arkham and pick you up!" Batgirl yelled.

"Quiet Bat-Brat!" Joker sneered

"You...you were gonna come get me, weren't you Puddin?" Nope

"Oh of course, pumpkin pie, but uh...here you are, so I can, save myself the trip!" Harley ducked her head back out

"But what about all our friends, Ivy and Two-Face, and Hat Guy, and Lizard Man, and...Penguin Head!"

"What about them?" Joker pushed her head back in.

"Don't forget your little pets!" Batman added

"Gasp! The babies, we can't leave the babies!"

"I'll buy you a gold fish!" You mean you'll steal her a gold fish

"No!"

"Why you little-[twak]" Harley kicked him right in the face, and jumped from the plane. Joker didn't care, he just jumped in, and took the front gunner's position. And ordered his three henchmen to take off.

The plane took to the skies. Harley started to pull the staples off of the tree bounding Batman.

"You know Bats I think Mistah J isn't the right guy for me after all." she said tearing the staples off.

Joker's plane came in for a pass. And dropped several bombs on the position, Joker looked for the two. Who waled away, cause his aim is terrible.

"What, they should be street pizza! Go around again!" He ordered

"But boss!"

"The bomb!" his henchman yelled

"I said go around again!" Joker yelled pointing the dual Vickers at them.

"Yes sir!" They brought the plane down again.

Now free, Batgirl and Batman made a mad dash for the bomb, and snipped the cords, defusing it.

"_Malfunction, malfunction...mal...func...ion."_

"Made it with time to spare." Batgirl cheered

"Thank Heavens Bat-folks, you've done it...again?" Hill said before seeing the plane come in close with the ground.

"That bombs going off, even if I go with it, Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!" he dropped the rest of the bombs with another pass, they missed, of course. Hill jumped back in his pool. Batman and Batgirl ducked behind a tree.

This time for a final pass, the plane was just 8ft off the ground, aimed right for the bomb. Joker fired

"Laugh this off! PUDDIN!" Harley yelled, she fired her clown head launcher, and hit him right in the head

"DOINK-ugh!" Joker spun the guns as he fired randomly due to him being nearly knocked out, he nearly offed his henchmen, and hit the fuel reserve on the plane.

"LOOKOUT-[crash]" the plane just missed the bomb, and crash landed into Hill's back door. If this episode had aired 7 years later, it would be canceled. Avoiding death yet again, Joker staggered out the other back door, and fell off the patio steps, activating his parachute comically as he hit the ground. He heard the cock of a gun, he came from the chute, and there stood an angry Harley, holding one of the machine guns.

"Freeze clown!" Joker had only one option...call her bluff.

"Quinn, no!" Batman yelled

"He's mine Bats!"

Batman, Batgirl, and mayor Hill knew there was nothing they could do.

"You wouldn't." Joker said smugly "You don't have the guts." Harley started to cry. "Not in a million years would you ever-" his efforts failed, and the angry clown girl fired -[click]-empty, a flag that read rat-tat-tat, came from the gun. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, and Harley flashed a nervous smiled that said OH SHIT! Joker only smiled, and opened his arms, as his henchmen crawled from the wreckage.

"Baby, you're the greatest!"

"EEE!" she squealed, and their mad love continued...for now that is. They shared a hug. (Look at that scene on Youtube, it's the best...i think it's like "Most Epic Batman Scene Ever" or some sh*t like that, or just Youtube "Ending to Harlequinade")

**THE END!**

**Vignette dedicated to the memory of Lloyd Bochner (1924-2005)**

Guess who? Still guessing, Hiya Fanfiction, Kevin Conroy here. I was the original voice of Batman in B: TAS and I'm Mayor Hill in this particular show. Hey thanks for your viewing of another awesome TDB episode, we ask you to leave your feedback, and get ready for Season 3! which we plan to air this Friday with the first part of Demon's Quest. But for now, More Scarecrow and Mad Hatter coming up next-Hey Cartoongal, don't think we've forgotten about you, alright guys, stay tuned.

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

_**Guest Starring... **_

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Harley Quinn

**Drew Nelson: **Joker

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hill

**Tom Kenny: **Dealer, gangsters

**James Arnold Taylor: **Boxy Bennett, Henchman #2

**Jeff Bennett: **Gangsters, Henchmen #1

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Henchman #3, various Buyers

**Mark Hamill:** Joker's laugh, various

**Jennifer Hale: **Computer voice, various

**Frank Welker: **Bud, Lou, various gangsters, various Buyers


	39. Fear Me! Part I

**Villain(s): Mad Hatter, Scarecrow**

**Episode Archive: ORIGINAL!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Teleplay: Steve Perry, Jean MacCurdy**

**Directed By: Dan Riba**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 19: Fear Me!**

Harold Tetch, who was recently paroled from Arkham, looked for a new place to become his evil lair. Cause let's face it, that place reforms NO ONE.

Anyway, he picked an old rundown apartment building in Park Row, better known as Crime Ally. The back wall was completely blown apart, and many of the walls had imploded. He picked the best looking apartment on the top floor. It seemed like the mad skilled brainiac was alone. Until he heard someone try and unlock the front door.

"What the-[rumble]-Gasp, an intruder!" He got a 10/6 card, and hid behind a coffee table. The figure opened the door.

"Hmm, this place seems like it'll be a great s-"

"Tally Ho!" Harold appeared!

"Whoa, hey, easy Hat, same team bro!" Ezekiel Crane cringed as Harold nearly gave his correlative an interstice.

"Oh, you, sorry...Scarecrow right?" Harold asked

"Professor Ezekiel Crane, but that's what it says on my rap sheet." he said.

"Oh, my apologies, care for some tea, I just made a fresh pot." Harold offered going for the stove that surprisingly worked

"No thanks, I was sure to knock off a 7/11 after I escaped. Since everyone is preocupied with Joker and that bomb of his, no one really cares about anyone else right now, eh?"

"Aw you escaped? Lucky, I'm on parole." Harold groused taking a sip "So, what brings you to Crime Ally?"

"Oh you know, just thought this would be prime stomping grounds for a new evil plan, eh." Zeke said.

"Small world my evil friend [slurp] these crime ridden hoodlums would be the best guinea pigs for my mind control cards. Have you any of that fear gas of yours?"

"Oh dude, only like 100 gallons of the stuff, eh? It's out back, what did you have in mind, what can we do?"

"Whoa-whoa man, what's this we stuff, it was just a question. But...hmm, perhaps...Oh I got it!"

"What is it?" Zeke asked

"I can control minds, you can control fear, between the two of us, we can bring this city to it's knees. And, I think I know how, but were gonna need help." Harold explained.

"I like it eh...I know where to get some equipment to help us out, eh?"

"As will I my fear induced friend, with some people to help us in our quest."

That next morning, at Wayne Manor, Alfred had just finished preparing breakfast, it was cinnamon roll morning, so of course, Cody and Geoff wasted no time.

"Oh Masters, Trent, Geoffrey, and Cody, breakfast!" Alfred called

"CINNAMON ROLLS!" is Owen here? Anyway, Geoff and Cody raced down the stairs. Only for them both get stuck in the kitchen doorway trying to muscle through.

"They're mine!" Cody yelled

"No they're mine!" Geoff yelled back...how original

"They're mine Geoff!"

"No they're yours Cody!"

"That's what I said they're mine!" Ah, classic Ed, Edd, n' Eddy.

"Easy, easy gentlemen, I've made plenty."

"Oh boy!"

"Your the man Alfred." they took their seats at the breakfast nook.

"Ah-ah-ah, you know the rules gentlemen, not until everyone is present." Alfred warned the two.

"Sorry Alfred."

"Mind your manners."

"Speaking of his darkness, where is our adopted old man?" Geoff asked

"He and miss Gordon had a run in with Joker and Harley last night, something about a bomb, I don't know the details are quite hazy and quite frankly gentlemen, the bomb is disarmed, all is well, I could give a rats arse."

"Sorry I'm late." Trent groaned staggering into the kitchen, in his robe, pajamas, and five o'clock shadow. He took his seat

"Now gentlemen, enjoy." Alfred insisted

"YES." the two went to town, a tired Trent Wayne just watched.

"Ugh, they act as if they haven't at a cinnamon roll before." Trent rubbed his eyes.

"They are MY cinnamon rolls after all sir."

"So Trent...how was last night?" Geoff asked swallowing a huge bite of roll.

"Ugh...don't even ask, Joker's a madman, Quinn is a nightmare, they're so-called "love" is a bad joke, and what's worse, they don't make an espresso strong enough for Batman." Trent said slamming his head on the table.

"But, you've never tasted MY new espresso sir, a little something I picked up from an old colleague in Burma." Alfred said pouring him a cup.

"Nice try Alfred but I don't think-[sip]-. . .WOW! WOW-WEE THIS STUFF IS THE F*CKING SH*T!" Trent shot up, now wide awake "I feel like I can a run a marathon!"

"I wouldn't recommend it." Cody chuckled.

"Wow, I feel so alive, but boy I sure hope Bridgette gets some of this, I bet shes worse off then I am-[knock-knock-knock]"

"I got it Alfred." Geoff volunteered. He went for the front door. "Baby!"

"Hey Geoffy!" Bridgette ran to give him a hug. "I smelt the infectious smell of Alfred's famous cinnamon rolls and felt I had to get in on that!" she raced into the kitchen.

"You were saying?" Cody asked

"Oh hush Cody." Trent said taking another sip of the espresso.

"Well Dark Knight, you're looking rather enthusiastic for someone who should want to gouge out his own eyes after last night." Bridgette hugged Trent and grabbed a roll.

"Hey, you try putting up with the ditziest, most insane women in all of Gotham City for an entire evening, and then tell me how chipper you'll be!"

"Okay-okay I see your point." she said. Trent picked up the newspaper.

"Oh master Trent, a letter came for you this morning." Alfred reminded him

"Whose it from?"

"Well that's the puzzling thing, there's no return address, just that it's from some girl named Heather Al Ghul."

"Probably junk mail, just get rid of it would you Alfred."

"Right away sir."

Trent read the third page article.

"Huh?"

"What's up boss?" Bridgette asked

"This, Harold Tetch has been paroled, and Ezekiel Crane has escaped, if I know my rogues, it'll only be a matter of time until those two meet up."

"You're sure?" All four asked

"Yeah...I'm sure, wheels up kids, we got some recon to do...together!"

"YES!"

Anyway Ezekiel returned to their new lair with a ton of audio&video equipment, where as Harold came back with their actors.

"Zeke, I'm back brohan." Mad Hatter said

"Sweet, I just finished setting up all the stolen equipment for our commercial...that is what we were going for, right?" Scarecrow asked

"More or less, yeah that might work."

"So Hat, who did you find?"

"I found, 4 strippers from a local club, and the principle cast of That 70's Show."

"I heart mashmallows!" one strippers said

"Yeah, I didn't really need to control the strippers if you catch my drift-"

"Stop talking I totally get it, eh."

"Okay, this little redhead is Anna."

"Hi!"

"The cute blonde is Rachel."

"Nice to meet you."

"This absolute ditzy blonde here is Sharron."

"Sailboats!"

"And this busty little brunette is Tiffany."

"I saw you on TV! Gasp, and I'm gonna be on TV-EEEEE!"

"And I'm sure you've heard of Topher, Ashton, Danny, Mila, Kurtwood, Wilmer, and Laura."

"Why are we here again, dumbass?"

"Ha, I made sure the microchips kept them in character." Hatter chuckled.

"I like it, now all we need is a good script, to spread our message of terror over Gotham, where I will spread my fear gas over the commercial whilst the masses watch it, then; once they're vulnerable, you shall control their feeble little minds...eh." Scarecrow explained

"Good plan, now all we need is a good script." Hatter pondered

"Yeah, you get to work on that...me and...you, and you will set up the AV stuff in this other room." Zeke took Rachel and Tiffany into the adjacent room.

"Wait what are you going to-oh, riiiiiiiiight, alright Sharron, dance it will amuse me, Anna; you seem like you have a decent brain among you, so we'll write the script, shouldn't be too hard, this Niko kid does it all the time." Hatter shrugged

"Whatever you say sir."

"And uh...Cast of That 70's Show, I want you all to reenact the scene where Fez pretends to be Red while the Forman's are at some High School reunion."

"But, we need Debra to acurately-"

"Topher I didn't ask for excuses I asked for a scene dammit-Gosh!"

"Yes sir!"

"Alright, down to business, our commercial...what should we call it?" Hatter pondered

"Oh, how bout, Fear Me?" Anna suggested

"I like it."

And I'm Red dumbass!"

"Ha, classic!"

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Niko56 assumes no liability for claim on these clebrities. Cartoongal11: I want Heather to cryyyyyyyyyyyyy! Muh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Have a good one. **

**Goodnight Everybody!  
**


	40. Fear Me! Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Hatter and Anna had finally finished the scripts, which monopolized their whole day.

"Oh fiddle sticks Anna, were nearly late, I wanna get a primetime slot on the commercial to make sure everyone is watching." Hatter said checking his pocket watch.

"Sorry sir, but I think were done."

"Right you are Anna, this script is gold, pure freakin' genius!" Hatter got up and ran to the AV room where Scarecrow should have been setting up. "Scarecrow, we good?"

"You bet, gimme a sec." the door opened, three dorky guys exited first, then came Scarecrow with a stripper around each arm.

"Uh...who are the dork-I mean dudes?" Hatter asked

"Oh dude, check it, this is Spencer."

"Hi."

"Gilbert."

"Salutations."

"And Franz."

"Sup dude."

"They're tech students over at Gotham U, I slipped them some of your mind control, thought you wouldn't mind, eh. I hired them to finish all of our work while I had sex."

"As long as they got the work done I could care less."

"Well good Mr. Hat sir, were ready to go." Gilbert said getting behind the camera.

"Alright people, study your scripts-"

"Screw stick in the mud, eh, let's get to work!" Scarecrow yelled

"YEAH! LET'S DO THIS!"

"See Harold, Ashton is into it, eh."

"Ugh, should've went for Charlie Sheen." Hatter groaned "Alright we'll do it on the fly, just get ready." (Message to CharlieHarperFan88: he is NOT winning)

Anyway, it was dark by now, and the bat quad returned to the Bat-Cave revealing a fruitless search. Each jumped out of their own vehicle.

"Ugh, 8 hours and still nothing." Batgirl groaned

"I should have packed more cinnamon buns for the day." Nightwing addec "I'm down to my last four...three."

"It doesn't matter, we still have to find out where those two are, maybe we just didn't look hard enough." Batman suggested

"Maybe they fled the city?" Robin shrugged

"A possibility." Batman agreed

"Maybe they're dead?" Nightwing proposed

"...Also, a possibility."

"Maybe...aliens abducted them?" Batgirl shrugged, eyebrows were quickly raised. "Oh come on, you guys came up with the likely possibilities already, and I wanted to be part of the group!"

"You can be part of my group babe-"

"Nightwing, not now."

"Well, maybe some calming TV will get our mind off of them." Robin suggested turning on the Bat-TV."

Of course, they would catch a glimpse of the debacle Mad Hatter and Scarecrow had created. The logo of That 70's Show appeared.

_[cutscene to Forman's basement]_

_Scarecrow [whispering off camera]: I thought you said this was going to be a commercial_

_Mad Hatter [same]: shut-up, this is better. _

_[enter Eric Forman from back door.]_

_[Hyde, Fez, Jackie, and Donna sit and watch TV]_

_Eric: Hey guys, guess what?_

_Hyde: Oh my God you killed Red?_

_Jackie: You bought yourself a new car, cause the Buena Vista is crap_

_Fez: your getting a vathectomy?_

_Donna: you got me that ring?_

_Eric: No, no, gross, and no, I realized what my greatest fear is-_

_Hyde: girls_

_Jackie: Red?_

_Fez: kola bearhs?_

_Donna: Commitment?_

_Eric: okay, how come everytime I have something to say, you all just harpoon it right in the face?_

_Fez: becauths it'd be weird to harpoon it in the assss? _

_Eric: yes, thank you Fez, no-no; my greatest fear is-[fear gas is sprayed out of nowhere]-what the...uh..uh...AHHHHHHH-ground hogs! -[thud] AHHHHHHH!_

_Hyde: I'm impressed Forman, you made my day...and made a fool of yourself, damn you're getting good at this._

_Eric: OH DEAR GOD, THEY'RE CLAWING MY FACE!_

_Donna: Eric, they're are no gro- _

_Eric: Donna, ones by your neck, I'll save you! [thud]_

_Donna: HEY! [Kelso enters from the back door]_

_Kelso: guys, guess what-_

_Hyde: in a minute Kelso, were totally watching Forman get wrecked by some imaginary ground hogs-ha-ha-ha._

_Kelso: ha-ha-ha, well that totally trumps my news!_

_Jackie: should we...should we do something_

_Fez: Jackie...thweet, thweet, Jackie-[he gets too close]-thomtimes, we have to jusst let Eric work this out on his own._

_Eric: AHHHHHHH!_

_[Enter Red with Tiffany, Anna, Sharron, and Rachel]_

_Red: Alright, which one of you dumbasses left the strippers in the driveway?_

_Kelso: oh, that was me Red. See that was my big news. But now were all just watching Eric go nuts over some imaginary ground hogs._

_Red: huh...well that sounds like something Eric would do. However, tell Eric...he annoys me. [Red leaves up the stairs. Oh and Kelso._

_Kelso: yeah Red?_

_Red: make sure those strippers find they're way out of my house in the next 15 minutes, or I'll shove my foot so far up your ass, you'll be the first person to taste shoe vomit. _

_Eric: AHHHHHH!_

_Red: Ugh, there goes what's left of my only dumbass son. [Red exits]_

_Kelso: Ha, jokes on Red, I only need 20 minutes._

_Hyde: he said 15 moron-[slap]_

_Kelso: ow...wait, so...that's 3 carry the 2, so...divide by 7...Aw crap!_

_Anna: you guys are strange_

_Fez: yeah, I know baby_

_Sharron: where are all the badgers?_

_Tiffany: I think he's afraid of gophers-_

_Rachel: you're both wrong, they're ground hogs _

_Eric: AHHHHHHHHH!_

_The End..._

_Scarecrow: aw dammit, the gas flow is jammed, it won't flow through the TV's._

_Mad Hatter: well fix it dammit, and quick people are losing interest!_

"Track their signal?" Batgirl asked

"Oh big time. Let's go guys."

Meanwhile, Scarecrow, and hi crew were going over hill, and dale to try to get the nozzel's working on the fear gas to flow through the televisions, while Mad Hatter "supervised" them...More like complained.

"No-no Spence, I said gold goes into red, not red goes into gold, you idiot!"

"I told YOU to do this work while I wrote the script, but did you listen, nooooooooo sir, you hired a bunch of tech geeks-Idiots!" Hatter groaned

"What are you talking aboot, they did a fine job-"

"Wow, thanks b-"

"Get back to work Gilbert!"

"Yes sir."

"If it was up to me, the whole time could be under our control right now-"

"Hey Hat man, why don't you just shut-up, and let a professional handle-[CRASH]"

"Mind if we drop in?" Nightwing asked, the Bat party had landed

"Ah, the gangs all here, minions, get them!" Hatter ordered.

"I got em!"

"I saw em first!"

"Who are we getting again?"

Danny and Ashton had pinned Batgirl and Robin to one wall.

"Wow, I realize this is the worst possible time to be starstruck but wow, Danny Masterson and Ashton Kutcher are holding us!"

"You're right about one thing this soooo isn't the time!" Batgirl kicked the two off of them.

The strippers surrounded Geoff.

"Well-well-well, only four of you, and one of me."

"Yeah." Tiffany smirked

"I don't like your odds."

"Well do you like, washboard abs!" He asked picking up his super uit.

"WHOA!"

"Ah, get's them every time." Geoff said taking the cards from behind their ears.

"Ahem." an annoyed Batgirl asked.

"Oh come on, it works doesn't it?"

Now it was time for Red to square off with Kurtwood.

"Come here you dumbass!"

"Okay, easy does it buddy-aw jeez!" he started to dodge his punches. "Alright, there has to be an easier way to do this...I got it, look; they posted your name on the Vietnam War memorial!"

"Really?" he turned his head. As Batman took the card. "What the...who the hell are you supposed to be, Halloween was four months ago, dumbass!"

"Yup, he's back alright."

It didn't take long for everyone to be back on their own control, leaving Hatter and Scarecrow alone.

"Oh great, now what?" Hatter asked

"Just a little of this, eat your fear Batman! Mimes if I do recall-huh?" Before Scarecrow could blast Batman, their hench-people, surrounded them

"Oh rubbish." Hatter sighed

"Ow-Ow-not the face-OW!"

"We should pull them off Hatter and Scarecrow." Batgirl shrugged.

"Yeah...eventually." Batman smirked.

Commissioner Gordon showed up with his police to take em into custody.

"Alright, get em outta here!" an officer ordered "They're headed back to arkham Commish."

"Good, right where they belong, thanks to you guys of course."

"It was nothing Commissioner." Robin smiled

"Yeah, you might say, they can Fear us now, or some cliche to that extent." Batman shrugged

"Ugh, stick to the crime fighting, K Batman?"

**THE END**

What goes on Fanfiction? Hello, Dan Riba, Director. Were glad you enjoyed this little vignette with our most extensive cast in the history of our show, we ask you to leave a REVIEW and to Cartoongal11: keep it up, I bet Courtney has a terrible time on her "date" with Heather. Alright guys, season 2 finale up next, The Joker's Wild, stay tuned.

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Dan Petronijevic: **Nightwing

**Peter Oldring: **Robin

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Brian Fraud: **Mad Hatter

**Peter Oldring: **Scarecrow

**Jennifer Hale: **Anna

**Tara Strong: **Sharron

**Grey DeLisle: **Rachel

**Mae Whitman: **Tiffany

**Jess Harnell: **Spencer

**Billy West: **Gilbert

**David Kaufman: **Franz

**Dan Castallaneta: **cop

**Topher Grace: **Eric Forman

**Laura Prepon: **Donna Pinciotti

**Ashton Kutcher: **Michael Kelso

**Danny Masterson: **Steven Hyde

**Mila Kunis: **Jackie Burkhart

**Wilmer Valderrama: **Fez

**Kurtwood Smith: **Red Forman

GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!


	41. The Joker's Wild, Part I

**Villain(s): Joker, Cameron Keizer **

**Episode Rewrite: The Joker's Wild (1992)**

**Written By: Paul Dini**

**Directed By: Boyd Kirkland**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 20: The Joker's Wild**

Arkham Asylum. Duncan was being escorted to the rec room. Twas the first time he has seen any daylight since the big bomb episode. Also fresh from the streets were Harold and Ezekiel playing chess, and Izzy was sitting on the couch, stroking a fern, and watching a botany special. To be a complete dick, Duncan immediately changed the channel.

"Hey, I was watching that!" Izzy shouted

"Well, now you're watching this!" Duncan chuckled, he took a seat on the couch next to Izzy.

"Change it back you lousy bastard!" she fumed

"Hmm, nope-nope-nope-nope, don't want to." Duncan smiled.

"Grr-Guard!" Izzy yelled. The huge guard, named Irving sighed, and approached the psycho.

"Ugh, what's the problem?" Irving asked. Duncan just sat back, and played the good guy card.

"Don't look now Sunny Jim, but the plant lady has gone whackers again." Izzy went wide-eyed, she knew solitary would be in her future.

"But-b-b-b-but-but, he started it, I-I was just siting here!" she begged

"That's right, you're always blaming me. And the children wonder why we fight." Duncan got closer to her as if they were married. Izzy quickly pulled away

"Grrrr-crazy." she growled

"I know you are, but what am I?"

"Okay-okay, you'll watch this quietly, or you'll go back to your cells." Irving said changing the channel to the evening news

"Ya-vol!" Duncan saluted like he was Sgt. Schultz.

"I don't care." Izzy crossed her arms and got to the one side of the couch, Duncan tried to make a move.

"You hold my hand, and I'll slug you, heh-heh."

"Guard!"

"Just kidding-just kidding, yeesh, Izzy, lighten up!" Duncan pulled away.

"_This is Summer Gleeson live at Gotham Palisades Boardwalk where were here on location at the grand opening of billionaire Cameron Kaiser's newest showcase resort. Total price tag for this fun seeker's mecca, nearly 300 million dollars." the redhead approached the high roller._

"_It's true Summer, I sent out to create the most opulent gambling resort in the world, besides, what's a few million here and there as long as my guests are happy?"_

"_Gotham's elite have turned out in style for this event." she approached Trent, who had a ditzy date. "Mr. Wayne, what brings you here, and can you perhaps drop a hint about the secret theme of Mr. Kaiser's resort."_

"_Well I just wanted to hang out, gamble, do some karaoke with the guitar...but as for the theme, it looks like we'll find out together Summer." Kaiser jumped into the middle where a giant sheet covered the resort. _

"_Ladies and gentlemen, the wait is over, I hereby welcome you one and all...To Joker's Wild_

"Say what!" Duncan asked getting on the edge of his seat

_The resort was all things Joker, in front of the entrance, there was even a large column, saying Joker's Wild, and on top, a rotating Joker head, that laughs. _

"_Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha."_

"_Ew, that's disgusting."_

"_Psst, Summer, were on the air."_

"_Oh, uh...there you have it, let's get a reaction from the guests, Mr. Wayne."_

"_No comment." He walked away, then Summer wanted to get an exclusive with the Industrialist._

_"Mr. Kaiser, why build a casino seemingly in honor of one of the world's greatest outlaws?"_

_"Summer please! My Joker is a classic symbol long associated with cards and games. I can't help if it bears a passing resemblance to some criminal fruitcake-"  
_

"ERRRAGH-[crash]" in rage Joker threw Izzy's fern right into the television, then he went on a rant. Izzy was enjoying every second of this, so much so she didn't even care Duncan ruined her plant...Damn.

"How dare that smug pleading fool, try to cash in on my image!"

"No who should lighten up?" Izzy asked

"Ergh-don't get cute with me Red! He's ripping me off! I'll protest! Yeah-yeah I'll sue, yeah that's what I'll do, then I'll rip his lungs out, and I will too." then Irving ran over

"Take it easy!" Then Duncan got the idea.

"Oh, fell, sick, ugh, room...spinning, need a...a doctor." Irving drug him to the exit.

"Oh Joker." Izzy asked "Thanks for the smile." Ooh so smug, but Duncan had bigger fish to fry. Irving brought Duncan into the empty infirmary.

"Hang on, I'll get Doctor Bartholomew."

"Yes...please...hurry." Irving left "Cough-cough-ha-ha-ha-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha, sucker." Duncan checked to see if the coast was clear, and he then tiptoed down the corridor.

"Ha-ha, what a maroon." Little did he know, Irving stood down the hall behind him

"I know you are, but what am I?" Duncan went to sneak past a few more guards, these happened to notice him

"Gasp! The Joker!" Duncan took off running

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Exit stage left, laughing all the way-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" He ran into a janitor cleaning the halls.

"Excuse me!"

"Ugh, oh my God!" he quickly began mizing various soaps and cleaners into a water fileld bucket.

"Freeze!

"Stop!"

"Step right up and play everyone's favorite game, what's the Joker got in the pail! Ooh, maybe a deadly poison, or perhaps something to make the floor nice and slippery!" he dumped the soapy contents, the guards fell on their backs, and Duncan snuck right on by.

"I always did know how to make an exit!" he opened the door "Ta-da!"

Duncan ran through the fenced in courtyard. He grabbed a rock, and a long stretch of connected handkerchiefs from his pants...yeah that's not weird, he tired the rock in the front, and got ready to swing.

"Don't try this at home kids!" he launched the rope outside the facility. A passing by truck got attached to it, and Duncan flew onto the roof "Yipee!" he reached into the cabin.

"What the? Hey!"

"Sorry, no riders!"

"Hey-aw!" Duncan threw the driver out, and then hopped in.

"Now to treat Mr. Cameron Kaiser to a real blow-out opening-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Cutscene now to Trent's room, now a mackeshift Bat-Cave, he hung up his Bat-glider, ready to fly, and Alfred got out all his essentials.

"I didn't mind driving down here at a moments notice with your equipment. And I was happy to dream up a plausible alibi for your date. But staying in this horrid place pushes even my tolerance." Alfred groused.

"Mine too, but I'm convinced it wasn't Kaiser's original idea to make a Joker themed casino." Trent said. He tore off some wallpaper, which had different wallpaper underneath. "See?"

"But why the deception?" Alfred asked

"That's what I intend to find out."

The casino had glass elevators which rose from outside. Batman stood on top of one of them, and swung his way to Kaiser's wraparound penthouse on the top floor. He leaped in from the roof, and went right to work in his office.

Batman was trying to find any evidence of why Kaiser would have made a Joker themed Casino. Early on his search seemed fruitless, until the detective stumbled upon a scale model of the resort. Batman took off the column that was out front, the one covered up read

"Camelot, hmm." Batman then looked at the desk.

He looked through stack after stack of files. He found several unpaid invoices.

"Huh, looks like Kaiser broke the bank on this place." he said. He then sifted through a file on the Joker, with everything Kaiser would need to know about him and his criminal past.

"What an interesting hobby you have Cameron." Suddenly the penthouse door swung open. And in came a well dressed Irving

"Hey you!" he yelled. A small skirmish broke out. Batman was able to dodge the terrible fighter's combos. Batman hopped into Kaiser's desk chair, and kicked Irving in the gut

"UGH!" Batman then threw down a smoke grenade to cover his escape. "Aw-cough-cough, where are ya? Come out and fight!" he ordered. Batman closed the door to the skylight and got off the roof.

Back on the ground, who should enter the hotel casino, but Joker. He admired the rows of tables, and slots, all modeled after him.

"Whew, Jumping Jimminy Christmas! It's...It's an homage to me! I'm kinda sorry I have to blow it up."

He continued to look for a minute or so, until an employee dressed just like him, handed Joker a box containing, cash, chips, and playing cards. Clearly mistaken for an employee.

"You're wanted over at table six, we got players waiting." rather then cause a fuss, Joker nodded at the doppelganger.

"Hmm-hmm, then again, all work and no play." Joker approached the table, and took off his hat and trench coat. "Good evening folks, the game is blackjack, Joker's rules of course, heh-heh." he used his mad card sharking skills to shuffle the deck. He then dealt out the cards. Joker flipped his over.

"Whoo, blackjack already, lucky me." he said taking the chips.

"Hey!"

"What?"

"Come on."

"Now-now, don't be sore losers, were here to have fun-ha-ha-ha!" the camera caught Joker right in the act. One of Kaiser's security men noticed it first.

"Mr. Kaiser, that daler's doing something screwy, I'm calling security-"

"No wait." the mogul said watching his performance.

"Ooh mercy me, another blackjack, one might think I had an ace up my sleeve-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh." Joker said as four aces fell from his sleeves and onto the table.

"Let him deal." Kaiser smirked

"Yes sir, you're the boss."

Back at the table, Joker scared the players away.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-Aha-ha-ha!" the players left. Meanwhile Trent Wayne walked passed, with some chips in his hands. "Try your luck friend?"Joker asked

"Why not." Trent took a seat "Set em up."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Alright, big finish coming up next. Cartoongal11: WHERE IS ITTTT! I want to see Courtney on her miserable date with Heather!**

**Goodnight everybody!  
**


	42. The Joker's Wild, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Joker got a good look at Trent for a second as he dealt the cards.

"Say don't I know you?"

"Uh, I don't think so." Trent shrugged.

"Ah sure, Trent Wayne, so this is how your family got all those billions ha-ha." he joked

"The secrets out, and you are?" Trent asked

"Oh, just a nameless clown, shuffling my life away."

"Too bad it has to be in such gruesome surroundings."

"Hah?" Joker dropped the cards he was shuffling. Even though he wanted the place destroyed, it was still HIS image. "Don't care for the décor?" he asked picking up the cards.

"Not hardly, all those horrible faces grinning at me, that would do things to my mind after awhile." Trent said playing it cool. Joker dealt the cards. Trent had a 9 and a 3.

"Grr, who says you have one." Joker snarled quietly

"Yeah I'd be ready for the laughing academy if I had to stare at that ugly clown all day." OHHH, that did it, Joker leaned in

"Why I oughta-"

"Hit me." HA. Trent placed his bet. Joker tossed him a King. "I'll stay."

"I call." Joker turned over his cards. "Twenty!" he said excited. Then Trent turned over his cards, a 3, the king, and 9.

"Oh lucky me, twenty-one, how nice, a little something for the Wayne charity fund." he said taking all the chips. He left Joker with one as a tip. "Goodnight." Trent left the table. And an angry Joker crushed the clay chip in his fingers.

"ERRRGH!"

Trent walked over to Alfred who had his chip bucket.

"He's here." Trent whispered dropping his chips, and the 8 card he kept in his sleeve to win the previous game. In a few minutes, Batman had approached the table where he just played, unfortunately Joker had switched tables, and another Joker employee was at this particular one.

"Place your bets folks."

"You!" he turned the employee around to realize he was fake.

"Batman!"

"Is that Batman?"

"I don't believe it!"

"It is Batman!" Everyone took notice. Joker noticed this from the craps table he was now working at.

"Whoops, time to cash out!" he grabbed as many chips as he could "Outta my way losers-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" he darted away.

"Hey!"

"Somebody stop that guy!" Batman chased after Joker. He had ran to the winner's circle where a Jokermobile was up for the win.

"Aha-haha-ha-haha-ha!" Joker jumped into the driver's seat and drove down the ramp, causing a path of destruction, wrecking most of the tables and slots in the casino.

"AHHH!"

"Lookout!"

"Stop that guy!"

"Call security!"

Batman leaped into the back seat. Joker was quick to slam on the breaks, the resulting momentum caused Batman to fall forward into the front

"Whoa-ah!"

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Joker crashed onto the boardwalk and headed for the edge of the pier. "Here's where I get off." he activated his ejector seat. And went flying, Batman leaped out just in time before the car crashed. Ka-boom!

"Not bad for a starter, but the real fireworks are still to come-ah-ha!" Joker chuckled.

Joker disguised himself as a steward, pushing a covered room service cart.

"S'cuse me, hot stuff coming through, one side please!"

"Ah-hey!" he rudely ran into people.

There was an indoor amusement park inside the resort, which was still under construction. Joker walked over to a roulette table that a large bust of his head was holding. I guess it was like a tilt-a-whirl ride. Twas the only working ride in the entire place. Anyway Joker took the sheet off the cart, and got his explosives ready.

"I wouldn't take odds on this place lasting the night-hah-hah." On a nearby camera, from his penthouse Kaiser saw the whole situation unfold. He smirked, and readied a suitcase containing 50 grand his Joker files, and his insurance invoices. He clicked don the intercom

"_Helipad."_

"I want my personal chopper ready for take off in 20 minutes."

"_Yes sir Mr. Kaiser."_

As he was about to run, a batarang unexpectedly knocked the briefcase from his hand. Batman swooped in

"Gasp."

"Going somewhere?" the dark knight asked

"First you trash my penthouse, then my casino, you wanna wreck something else?" Kaiser asked pretending to be nonchalant. He sat back in his chair.

"I've seen the unpaid bills, building this casino has bankrupted you, that's why you turned it into a target for the Joker."

"You've hit the jackpot Batman, but I've come too far to stop now." noticing one of Batman's hands was on his desk, he pressed a button, which shocked him...what an interesting desk feature.

[ZAAAAP]-"Ahhhhhh!" he fell to the floor completely disoriented. As he did, Irving and another guy walked in.

"Ah, you again." Irving said

"What should we do with him boss?"

"Hmm, send him down to his friend." They put Batman in the nearest elevator. And wanted it to hit the amusement floor. Batman walked out still disoriented. Joker acted quickly and hit him over the head with a piece of wood. [thwak]

"Unh!"

"Kinda slow on the reflexes eh Batzy? That car crash must've taken more out of you then I thought-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Batman woke up tied to the roulette board...You know, all these villains have all these opportunities to unmask this guy, and yet they never do it. What the hell?

"Wakey-wakey." Joker said. Batman grunted, he could just barely move his hands. "Thought you'd like to be conscious for your own demise, I really put some effort into this one." Joker pointed to all the explosives laid carefully throughout the room. "By the time I leave, you, the casino, and that strutting joke Kaiser will all be blown sky high! Not bad eh?" he chuckled

"You won't get Kaiser Joker, he's playing you for a patsy." Batman explained

"Eh?"

"He's counting on you to blow up this place so he can collect the insurance, by the time it blows, he'll be miles away, laughing at you."

"Ergh! I hate it when you make sense." Joker sneered. He disarmed the main fuse, which deactivated everything else. "I'll settle my score with Kaiser man to clown, but that still doesn't leave you off the hook." he got out a Joker-grenade. "How bout that Bats, looks like your numbers up, Ha-ha-ha-ha!" he activated the ride, and tossed the grenade onto the table, walking away chuckling.

It sped up. Batman quickly was able to get a batling hook from his belt, and aimed it at the granade when it went by, it got stuck in the bust, then exploded. Ka-boom! Batman was able to get out of the ropes as the ride fell apart.

Meanwhile, Kaiser jumped into his helicopter, not noticing who the pilot actually was.

"Get me out of here now!" he ordered

"Yes sir!"

The helicopter took off. Batman rushed up to the helipad to see the actual pilot getting off the ground rubbing his head.

"Are you alright?" Batman asked

"Oh yeah, but some clown jumped me and took my copter, Mr. Kaiser's up there!" The chopper kept circling above the resort.

"Why are you circling you fool?" Kaiser asked

"...It was a scheme worthy of me Kaiser."

"GASP!"

"The way you got me all riled up and turned me loose on this place." Joker said taking out his gun.

"You...you were supposed to destroy the casino!" Kaiser jumped

"Yeah but I realized it would be more fun to get rid of you and then run the place myself."

"No, you can't!"

"Oh please, Mr. Kaiser, you of all people should have realized there'd be a Joker in the deck-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-huh?" he then noticed Batman fly towards them via the Bat-Glider. "Oh why can't he ever stay dead!" Joker shouted taking evasive action.

Batman flew closely behind them, as their pursuit took them all over the local resorts. Joker fired from his gun out the door, but his aim tanked.

"Dammit, this was not in my plan."

"Mine neither!" Kaiser added. Batman climbed into the cockpit, and whacked Joker right in the face. [thwak]

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-aha-ha-ha-ha!" he then kicked Batman out of the chopper, and got a shot on the glider's motor., he went down.

"Oh come on!" Joker watched the glider get stuck in the rotating Joker's mouth.

"That's it, chew him up and spit him out-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Little did he know Batman was was on the underside of the bird, he climbed in again, and nearly tackled Joker into the controls "What-hey!"

"Stop, you'll kill us all!" Kaiser warned.

Right he was, the controls went haywire, and the chopper made a crash land inside the casino, crashing through one of the glass windows...again, this episode aired before 9/11 but I think today it would still be fine, right...Right?

[CRASH]

"Lookout!"

"Get away!"

"AHHHH!" It eventually stopped in the middle of the room. Joker made a mad dash, [pop] he fired, missing Batman's cape, and the Dark Knight knocked the Clown Prince of Crime into a slot machine. It malfunctioned, and jack-potted, a ton of coins fell onto the passed out Joker.

"Yee-haw-winner-[ding-ding-ding-ding]"

Back at Arkham, Joker was watching the news of his previous night's caper, with Izzy, Harold, and Ezekiel.

"_And so it ended for the Joker and ex-billionaire Cameron Kaiser." Summer Gleeson said. _

"Bah-enough of this crap." Joker said changing the channel to Looney Tunes...I MISS MEL BLANC!

"Hey!"

"WE WERE WATCHING THAT!" the other three complained

"Alright fine!" he changed it back to the news

"_-And was returned to Arkham, coming up next-"_

"Oh you bunch of whack job losers you make me sick." he whispered

**THE END!**

**And so ends Season 2!**

What the haps Fanfiction! It's your friendly neighborhood Niko here! Glad you enjoyed Season 2! Rest assured Season 3 is on the way! With The Demon's Quest, now a SIX part episode cause I just realized the spisode "Off Balance" comes before the Demon's Quest chronologically and it introduces Talia Al Ghul then. So Season 3 will have 12 episodes, the most in the entire franchise! PLEASE REVIEW! And Cartoongal: it's no trouble...I just wanna see Heather suffer that's all. Alright see ya later guys!

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Drew Nelson: **Joker

**Harry Hamlin: **Cameron Kaiser, Arkham Guard

**Katie Crown: **Poison Ivy

**John DiMaggio: **Irving, additional voices

**Mari Devon:** Summer Gleeson

**Phil LaMarr: **security officer, additional voices

**Jim Cummings: **chopper pilot, henchman, additional voices

**Mark Hamill: **Joker's laugh, additional voices**  
**

**Kath Soucie: **gambler

**Corey Burton: **additional voices

**Jason Marsden: **TV Host, additional voices

**Diane Pershing: **additional voices

**Peter Oldring: **Scarecrow

**Brian Fraud: **Mad Hatter


	43. The Demon's Quest, Part I

**Villain: Count Vertigo, Heather Al Ghul, Ra's Al Ghul **

**Episode Rewrite: Off Balance (1992)**

**Written By: Len Wein**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 21: The Demon's Quest, Part I (6 part episode)**

Atop the Statue of Bravery on Gotham Bay (A parody of New York's Statue of Liberty) on the large torch balcony, stood a well dressed yet scared greaser named Twitch, waiting for his contact.

"An hour I've been waiting." he said looking at his watch "I don't know why Niko wanted to meet me here for anyway."

"He didn't Twitch." a deep voice said from behind him

"Gasp!"

"I did." Batman came from the shadows.

"You! You tricked me, but for what?" he asked. Batman got closer.

"In formation, on the Society of Shadows." By now Twitch was right against the side. "Word is they've started operating here...Tell me all about them!" Batman ordered

"Hey, they're ain't that much to tell, see, I only work for him not with him okay?" Twitch answered getting nervous.

"It'll have to do now talk!"

"Okay okay, word is, they got their claws on every dirty deal in Gotham."

Speaking of claws. Several ninja like guys with green goggles over their eyes, clawed their way up the statues arm towards the torch. Very stealthy I might add.

"In fact, word is they've got something going down tonight! Gonna boost some new ultrasound gizmo or something." Twitch continued

"Who runs the show?" Batman asked the ninja's quietly jumped up to the balcony behind him.

"Strange dude, strangest thing about this guy, he goes by the codename: Vertigo-GASP!" Twitch saw one of the ninjas behind Batman

"He grabbed a dagger and leaped forward. Batman was quick to pin him against the wall. While he took care of the ninja, he was unaware of the other walk towards Twitch.

"No, please...h-he made me talk, I didn't wanna!" Twitch stammered helplessly.

"No one betrays the society." he said in a raspy quietly sinister voice. He grabbed Twitch and threw him over the side.

"Please, I DIDN'T DO ITTTTTTTT!" [Splash]

"Such be the fate of all traitors." the ninja said looking over the side.

Batman had thrown the one ninja that he had beaten up into the guy who offed Twitch, they hit the floor.

"You'll pay for that!" the Dark Knight yelled

One ninja grabbed a gun, Batman ducked as he fired. The round was a grappling projectile attached to a rope, it caught onto the crown of the statues head. The shadow ninjas grabbed two zipline apparatuses and rode the rope as such. Landing atop the head. Batman followed them using his own trademarked method.

Batman was quick to kick them both against the side of the crown. Knowing they were beat, the one of the ninjas replied.

"May the shadows live forever!" the two activated a mist that sprayed inside their goggles. They both hit the floor.

"What the?" Batman unmasked the two, their pupils were completely dialated, almost as if they were lifeless.

He left the statue, not knowing he was being watched. By a sketchy looking raven haired woman on the docks wearing a skin tight black leather catsuit. She walked away, to carry her news.

Meanwhile, Commissioner Chris Gordon was alone in the firing range inside police HQ. He was trying mew methods in multitasking. Firing down range while finding the perfect way to apply hair gel...Research is...going rather well. He checked his target.

"Success, the perfect grouping, and the perfect shiny tone." he then heard a small wind. "Huh? Batman, that you?"

"Over here Chris." he came from the shadows.

"I heard Twitch got bumped off, due a few Shadow agents."

"When I tried to interrogate them, they used some sort of gas to erase their own minds." Batman explained

"Yeah, that fits with what little we know about them." Chris added studying his target.

"But something Twitch said makes me think they're going after Wayne Tech's new Sonic Drill, tonight when it comes into Gotham by train, tell Bullock to add more guards, just to be safe."

"Jeez is there anything you don't know about? I only made that detail a couple a...hours ago?" he saw Batman had vanished, again. "Some day I am going to nail his feet to the ground."

Later, at the city train yard. The delivery train had just arrived. The box car was opened, and a big box reading Wayne Enterprises was in plain view. Lucius Fox and Chef Bullock approached the car, accompanied by police.

"You don't want us to touch the drill, right Mr. Fox?" the rail worker asked

"Not unless you have to." Lucius said. The guys unloaded the box "And be careful, this prototype is the only working model from our lab in Chicago. And I don't wanna be the guy to tell Mr. Wayne it broke before it got to headquarters for the final shakedown."

"But I thought you said it could be dangerous?" another worker asked

"Well it's intended for building excavations, oil rigs, but-"

"Relax kid, that gizmo ain't gonna hurt nobody as long as Harvey Bullock's-[weeeoooooong]" suddenly a yellow flash descended to the train yard. Everything became distorted, and definitely slowed down.

"What the?"

The distortion looked almost like a hypno-reel, and this made everyone nauseous. The workers, police, and Lucius noticed a man in a knights outfit, a red cape, and an eyepatch over the left eye, which was causing the molecular distortion...or so it seemed (cause it's only how the mind perceives it). The blond haired man was accompanied by several Shadow ninjas.

"W-who are you?" Chef asked

"What do you want?" Lucius added frightened

"Zhe first zing I vant iz vor you to shtop azking stupid qvestions." he said in a noticable German accent. "Zhe second, is a powerful veapon. And I zink your drill vill do nizly." he finished. The Shadows grabbed the box.

Bullock and the others tried to stand up, but couldn't as it looked to them like the ground was moving upwards in a vertical fashion. Making them even more nauseous. The Shadows got the huge ray gun from the box. Then Batman appeared from atop the train

"And I think you'll do 10 to 20 at Stonegate, minimum...if I press charges." he whispered that last part of course.

"Zhe Batman!" the Knight guy yelped. "I zuppose zhis had to happen zooner or later." he said disappointed.

Batman leaped down and knocked the guy...off balance, ha-ha. But when he looked up, Batman got caught in the beam, and then HE was off balance. Yet still, the Caped Crusader managed to tackle him to the ground.

The two engaged in a brief hand-to-hand conflict. Knocking over boxes. Over turning equipment. Eventually the ray stopped working, regaining everyone to normal. Suddenly a throwing knife hit a box inches from either face of Batman or the German. Looking up, they saw her. The girl from the docks.

"You!" The German said.

"Ugh-[thud]" Distracted, Batman let his guard down, and a piece of rail equipment hit his head by a Shadow ninja. One of their helicopters flew over the scene. A ladder was dropped down, The German let the ninjas climb first.

"Come, vere do back vithin zhe tolling of zhe hour!" he reminded them. They stole the laser, and flew off. Batman took the knife, and quickly noticed the girl had disappeared too. He fled the scene as everyone else regained normality.

At the Batcave, Alfred was busy shining the giant penny, while Batman researched what he could about the infamous League of Shadows.

"But are you certain this, lady in black was working with this Vertigo chap?"

"Had to be Alfred, he'd never be able to escape if it wasn't for her." by the way the German is Count Vertigo. "And she was the only one who wasn't affected by his weapon." Batman stood up.

"Weapon sir?"

"That eyepiece of his, I can't put my finger on it, but I think it gives off some sort of radiation. I think it sends people off their balance somehow. Creating the illusion that everything around you is Topsy-turvy."

"My word."

"Not that it matters. Nothing about that will gimme any clues to their whereabouts. He mentioned returning to his base before the tolling of the hour." Batman said sitting back down in his chair. "Which suggests a clock tower or church bell." Batman got right to researching. "Then fled west. But there's nothing to conceal such a target, not within 50 miles to the west."

"Might I suggest Master Trent you take a break, if you keep pushing yourself like this, you soon won't know your left hand from your right." Alfred suggested leaving his work.

"Left from your-Alfred, your brilliant!"

"So I've heard."

"With my head turned around like that I couldn't tell one direction from another. They didn't escape to the west, they went East!" Batman hit a breakthrough, then searched all the towers within the east.

"There Alfred, that has to be the place!" Batman picked a target outside the city.

The place was a completely stereotypical vampire's castle overlooking a huge cliff atop a hill. Batman went to the mysterious location. While in his search he noticed the raven haired beauty walking away from the castle. While some of the Shadows were falling her stealth like.

"Gasp!" several jumped her, while two more grabbed her. She threw the two over her shoulder and into the two in front of her. Then Chuck Norris'sed two more. Then became unsuccessful when two managed to grab her, she still kept fighting them off. Batman felt he neded to help her, so he leaped onto to several of the shadows from above. The two stood back to back, ready to stave off their attackers.

"Four against one, nasty odds." Batman said he grabbed one and tried to pull him above his head, not realizing his dagger split his bat belt off. Then knocked him out.

"I can take care of myself, thank you." the girl said

"So I see."

"Still the jester is appreciated.

"No problem, still whose side are you on?"

"Hmm, that would be telling-"

"And it would make no difference." One of the shadows appeared on the rock above with another holding the stolen laser pointed right at the two.

"As of now, this battle is ended."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Psst...Cartoongal...[puppy dog eyes]...update...pwease...?**


	44. The Demon's Quest, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

They fired the beam. Rather then fire anything, the muzzle lights up. And where it was fired at, the matter distorts and breaks. Such as the ground underneath Batman and the girl's feet. The two fell into the gaping hole made by the beam, each passing out upon impact.

Later that same girl was inside the castle monastery-whatever it was, in a makeshift infirmary dressing Batman of his wounds. He was unconscious laying on a bed. She had removed his mask. A rat moved across the bedside.

"Filthy creature." she said

"I've been called worse." Trent moaned coming to, assuming she meant him. "What happened to-My Mask! What have you done with it?" he asked sitting up frantically.

"Easier to clean your wounds." the girl said.

"Then you know...You know that I'm-"

"Hush, who knows what other ears may be listening." she looked around, as did Trent. He quickly threw his cowl back on.

"Just who are you? What are you doing here?"

"My name is Heather." she said walking back to her cleaning station. "And I too have business with the society of shadows." she walked back over to Batman.

"What kind of business?"

"Personal business, such as I imagine yours must be?" she asked. The two approached the door.

"It's a simple enough lock, I can get it open with-My Belt! Dammit, must've lost it in the skirmish!" Batman smacked his forehead at his own stupidity.

"How unfortunate." Heather groaned sarcastically.

"I appreciate the sympathy, but what we need right now is a lock pick."

"I know." Heather got out a hair pin. And almost effortlessly unlocked the door. "We make a great team, don't we?" Not answering Batman sauntered into the seemingly empty hallway, with Heather close behind "Now come, hurry, there's no telling what evil Vertigo will do with your sonic device."

Their sauntering turned into a quick pacing as they sprinted through the corridors of the ancient and out of place castle. Heather eventually took point

"Sounds like you too have a history." Batman tried to play detective to try and find a connection. The two came to an intersection, and to their left, 15 or so yards down the hall were two Shadows looking away from them.

"Yes, the dark ones work for my father." Heather whispered "Until father came to realize the blackness of his soul." they tiptoed behind the two and did the Vulcan squeezy thing.

"Unh-[thud]"

"Sleepy-[thud]"

"When he learned of Vertigo's intentions, my father sent me as his emissary to get it out of Vertigo's hands."

"How kind of him, why should your father even care?" Batman asked

"Because my father cares for all humankind." Heather added. The two continued on through the corridors without anymore interruptions.

"This way, it leads to the lab."

"Lab, what lab?"

With no answer the two came to a pair of double doors, on the other side was a stereotypical mad scientists lab, with Gothic ornate windows on either side, and the device was on a table clear on the other side of the room.

"Oh, that lab." Batman said

"Unlocked, how convenient, you do realize however that this is a trap." Heather winked opening the door.

"Naturally, but what other choice do we have?" Batman asked with a shrug.

The two entered the laboratory, it seemed as if no one was there, and that no trap was set-

"Ahhhh!"

"Aw!" suddenly Vertigo stepped in and activated his device.

"Velcome vriends, your qvite right I had been exshpecting you-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

The two fell to their knees, and felt his device only getting stronger, they felt higher then the guy who wrote Alice in Wonderland-

"Hey! Not cool bro, not cool!"

"Shut-up Harold your not even in this story!"

"Meh!" ...Anyway-

"Your little dizzifying device won't stop us Vertigo!" Batman said

"Maybe, maybe not." he grabbed the device "You zee, you'll have to get across zhis room alive. And zhat may prove difficult conzidering zhis entire room iz rigged to deshtroy you, and in case you zink vonce I go, my dishorienting evect vill go vith me, zink again, I've planted duplicate Vertigo devizes shrouought zhe room, activating, vonce I am departed, Aufwiedersan, and good luck, you'll need it-Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Vertigo exited. The duo stood up

"AH!" Heather yelped

"You alright?" Batman asked

"My contact lenses, I lost them when we fell. Without them in this distortion effect I'm as helpless as you."

"I don't do helpless." Batman said offering his hand. "Come on, take my hand. I can get us through this."

"Really? But how?"

"I trusted you, now it's your turn." She seductively grabbed his hand. Batman led the two through the distorted trap filled maze. First the hit a trap door.

"JUMP!" they landed safely

"How did you know?" Heather asked. Then a scythe like pendulum flew passed

"DOWN!" missed it by that much, and it hurts that much less. Then they stepped on a floor board which activated poison darts from their side.

"STOP!" just missed. Then a spike grid just missed piercing them by the other door, which to Heather looked like the wall. Batman pushed it open.

"Clear." the two walked into the corridor.

"How did you do that?" Heather asked

"Simple, I just kept my eyes closed." The Dark Knight said opening them back up

"You What?"

"I knew the only way to eliminate the Vertigo effect was to rely on my other senses to see us through."

"Alright I am impressed, now where to?" why are you asking it's your castle.

Anyway the two entered a large courtyard in the middle of the castle with dead trees on either side. A large bell tower was clear across the courtyard, Vertigo must have been up there. They heard a helicopter moving towards the tower.

"Up." Batman said.

Vertigo was in fact moving to the tower top, the wrap around balcony had several large bells in the middle, and their ringing ropes led straight down.

The mad man reached the top with the device. He called the chopper to get close to the window. But just as he was about to touch the rope ladder to freedom-

"Going somewhere vertigo?" Came Batman's voice from below. He and Heather were rushing up the spiral staircase.

"No, it'z impozzible!"

"Nothing Iz impozzible!" Batman mocked.

"Zhen I vill vinish you both myzelf!" he activated his Vertigo device stopping the two in their tracks, they were so close to the top.

He then used the laser to destroy the steps that were both in front of and behind the two. Trapping them.

"Can't...take much more of this, only one thing to do." Heather fell.

"Heather, no!" she grabbed onto the rope, ringing the bell, which went right into Count Vertigo's ear

"[Boooooong]-AHHHHH! AHHH!" Vertigo dropped the device. Batman quickly jumped onto an adjacent rope and caught the laser as it fell. [Booooong-Booooong]. Distorted Vertigo moved towards the window and accidentlally fell, and crashed right into the moat below.

"Whoa-ahhhhhhhhh-[splash]" then the chopper "flew away" . . .You'll see.

Anyway the two were back on the ground walking away from the castle as the sun rose. Batman found his bat-belt on the ground.

"Without Vertigo to lead them, his agents have all fled?" Batman asked still holding the device.

"Yes, the Society of Shadows is no longer what it was." Heather added semi-happily. Batman got in front of her a little, he noticed she had stopped.

"Well...better be getting this back to Gotham City."

"Wait...I can't let you leave like this, not with the drill." she raised her knife launching gun...Come on guys, it's Heather, she can't be all nice.

"I finally thought I knew which side you were on, I should have known better." SHE didn't know Batman hid a tiny explosive device inside the muzzle. "Considering you knew where everything was in the monastery, how could you have?" he asked handing her the drill. "Unless you were one of them." suddenly the same chopper hovered over and dropped the rope ladder for Heather.

"I am truly sorry Batman, it could have been...sweet-ha-ha-ha-ha." she grabbed hold, and the helicopter took her away. Batman watched the chopper fly

"THIS IS NIT OVER!"

Anyway while in the helicopter, flying towards Romania; Heather gave her Father a video transmission.

"Vertigo has been dealt with Father."

"_It's no wonder you seem so pleased, and your mission?"_

"A complete success. A acquired this just as you asked." she said holding up the laser drill.

"_Then find a target and test it, to be certain it has survived it's ordeal in tact." _Heather aimed for a nearby mountainside, but as she fired, it activated the explosive causing the muzzle to go haywire, before it exploded Heather quickly dropped it over the side.

"Argh! The Batman he sabotaged it somehow!"

"_So, even in defeat the detective manages to achieve some small measure of victory." _he ended the transmission. "As you said detective...this is not over..."

**To Be Continued...End of Part 1**

Alright alright, lemme be the first to say not only how awesome this vignette was, but this probably has the best cast were ever gonna have on any of these episodes, I'm serious! David Warner coming back to reprise his role as Ra's Al Ghul, Rachel Wilson being Talia, Morgan Freeman back as Lucius Fox, Freaking Maurice LaMarche as Count Vertigo, are you kidding me? Well, alright just REVIEW guys, more Ra's and Heather coming up next, Stay Tuned!

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Rachel Wilson: **Heather Al Ghul

**Maurice LaMarche: **Count Vertigo

**Mark Hamill: **Various Shadows, a rail worker

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Various Shadows, additional voices

**Morgan Freeman: **Lucius Fox

**Rob Paulsen: **Twitch, various police

**David Warner: **Ra's Al Ghul


	45. The Demon's Quest, Part III

**Villain: Ra's Al Ghul**

**Episode Rewrite: The Demon's Quest (Part I)**

**Written By: Dennis O'Neil**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 22: The Demon's Quest (Part II)**

Gotham University, established 1898. At least, that's what it read on the rain soaked plaque on the fence. Nightwing scaled said fence. Then, he scaled the wall of his dorm. He crept into his dark dorm room.

Suddenly a flashlight shined on the elusive crime fighter. The shiners, one large man, a well dressed man, and an equally well dressed man wearing a sphinx mask.

"Who are-[thonk]" someone shot a knockout dart into his left shoulder. Nightwing hit the floor, hard.

About a week later, both Batman and Trent were baffled. Twas that night that Batman returned from searching. He exited the Batmobile, where Alfred was waiting in the Bat-Cave.

"No word there Master Trent?"

"None, and I've scowered the entire city, and no ones seen either Nightwing or Geoff Grayson for days."

"I really should head upstairs then Master Trent, in case someone should call." Alfred insisted

"Good call."

"Oh and before I forget, this came for you an hour ago via messenger." Alfred handed him a manilla envelope with Trent's name on it. Alfred departed from the cave. Batman took off his cowl.

Trent looked through the envelope only to find one picture. He gasped at what he saw. Nightwing and Heather Al Ghul tied up, with some people in cultist outfits holding jagged knives. A note was paper clipped to the top 'Save them if you can'

"So...they know your identity detective." came a voice from the darkness

"WHO ARE YOU! HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE!" suddenly another guy behind the well dressed guy tossed a knife at Trent's feet.

"You must forgive Ubu detective he's well trained. Allow me to introduce myself, I am the one who is called Ra's Al Ghul."

"The Demon's head, I thought you were only a legend." Trent said re-cowling.

"I am quite real, as I'm sure your aware of my resourcefulness is well deserved. As you can see we share a common problem, your ward and my daughter have been kidnapped on the same night." Ra's said. He and Ubu got closer. "You do remember my daughter, correct?"

"Your Heather's father?" Batman asked

"Yes, but surely you do not expect for her to mention me by name -[violent coughing!]" Ra's hit the floor. "Keep your distance! I am merely old, much older then you could imagine. But not so old I cannot assist you in your search."

"I see your point. Okay for openers, look at the blade, they're used by a cult of mercenaries in Calcutta." Batman explained pointing to the blades in the picture. "Even the rope appears to be made of a hemp, indigenous to that area."

"Well done Detective, you are surely worthy of your reputation." Ra's said "To India then! Come, I have an aircraft waiting." Batman was ready to lead them out, but was stopped by Ubu

"Infidel!" he shouted pushing Batman out of the way

"Hey, what's his damage!"

"Forgive my servant, he feels no one should perceive me." Ra's warned "Call it being over cellists."

"I'll call it, strike one." Batman grit his teeth.

Anyway they took off for India in Ra's obnoxious Indiana Jones style aircraft, the three sat in the lounge, Ubu poured the two wine in two very ornate golden cups.

"You still have me at a loss Ra's Al Ghul, just how did you know who I am?" Batman asked

"I control a vast global organization detective. Obviously Batman's exploits require many...costly implements, it was a simple matter of my people coming the world to find a bunch of wealthy men finding many items Batman might require, the one who my daughter seemed to match the description of, was Trent Wayne." Ra's explained.

"Hmm, next time I'll have to glue my mask on." Suddenly Ra's began to cough violently again. "Do you need help?"

"I need nothing! As Napoleon told me: A strong will can lead a frail physique."

Anyway in the city of Calcutta India. The three had departed from their plan and begun to walk around the seedy parts of town. Where they would most likely find some sort of clue.

"How can you be certain Detective, that those we seek, can be found here?" Ra's asked

"I make it my business to know things like that, here; there's an incense shop, down that ally." Batman went to lead, but was pushed out of the way, by Ubu.

"Infidel!" Ra's went first.

"Okay, that's strike two." Batman hissed.

Suddenly out of nowhere come many Indiana Jones like thugs wearing period clothing. Ubu put Ra's out of harms way.

"Yes." the Demon whispered.

He watched Batman just destroy the onslaught. Throwing people over the shoulder, knocking several into fruit carts, close-lining the hell out of them. It seemed like it was over, Ra's jerked his head up to signal one was above on a roof, he jumped, and Batman tossed him to the ground.

"Nooooo!" he begged

"Yes, unless you can tell me about the mercenaries who did this!" Batman fumed showing him the picture.

"T-t-they...have fled...with the boy and the woman." he panicked. Batman picked the thug up by the collar and put him against the wall

"Where?"

"To...t-t-t-to...to Malaysia. To a Bagota, in the shadow of Mount Barobi! I know mothing moe, I swear it!" Batman dropped the thug.

The team headed next for Malaysia, through the vast rainforest by way of jeep. Ubu drove, while Ra's sat shotgun, and Batman of course, sat in the back.

"Look at it Detective, one of the last of the rainforests, they provide vast quantities of oxygen yet the rich only profit from it's destruction. You who belong to the over class, have much to answer for." Ra's clenched his fist. While he talked Batman played a sad song on the guitar.

"Trent Wayne donates millions of dollars a year to preserve these forests, sing about that." Batman smirked

"Which need I remind you are being depleted at over 120,000 acres a day. Does your money solve this problem? No. It will take power, and I fear...Ruthlessness!" Ra's yelled. They continued to get deeper into the forest. "Humankind must work to preserve these forests except on their own greedy appetites!"

"And your the one who will do the forcing, right?" Batman asked

"I am...qualified, yes." But I may not have sufficient health left in me-"

"Master look, up ahead!" Ubu pointed to an Aztec pyramid like structure.

"Ah, in the shadow of the volcano just as the Indian said, we must hurry, the next piece of our puzzle surely awaits within." Ra's said poetically.

Batman hurried to the top of the steps, and went inside the large, and nearly darkened room. The only light source was holes cut in the ceiling to let moonlight through to the ground.

The room of the temple itself was littered with many artifacts of the ancient world of Malaysia, the temple itself looked completely vacant, as if no one has been there in hundreds of years.

An item however that caught Batman's eye, was a topographical map, that looked fairly modern. Suddenly, a large steel door closed on the main entrance whilst Batman was alone, and another small door opened somewhere else in the temple. Batman heard the growl of a hungry jaguar moving about the temple. Though he could not see him.

He saw the beast circle around the artifacts in some sort of attack formation, Batman stood his ground as best he could, but it seemed no match.

"Aw great, where Gwen when I actually need her." he groaned. Suddenly the kitty pounced

"GROWL!

"Aw!"

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**By the way guys, i already got a season 6 made up! For those of you wondering what's gonna happen, gimme a shout. Lemme me just say we have NOT seen the last of Ferris Boyle and Count Vertigo ;)  
**


	46. The Demon's Quest, Part IV

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Fortunately the jag just clawed a piece of Batman's outfit, the upper left chest area. It seemed like the Dark Knight would be running out of options, Batman of course, had an idea. I mean, when doesn't he? Come on he's Batman.

"Nice kitty..."

"RAWR!" Batman just dodged the pounce.

"Alright, let's try it this way." he tossed a Batarang, the jaguar quickly clawed it away

"Rawr! Rawwwwr."

"Alrighty, Batarang, no good." Batman was back at the drawing board. He then saw a very nice ornate guitar on a pedestal. "How about this!" he gave it a good swing, and the jag chewed it up like termites on a freshly wooden house. "Hmm, maybe I should stick to playing rather then smashing." At the drawing board yet again Batman finally came up with one last idea.

"Come here kitty-kitty-nyah!"

"RAWR!"

Batman took off his cape and threw it over the jaguar trapping it like it was in a sack. He then grabbed a knockout pill from his utility belt and tossed it into the open hole at the top. Needless to say the jaguar wasn't too happy.

"Rawr-Rawr-RAWR! ...Rawr...rawr...grrrrrr-zzzzzzzz." Batman took the cat out, and let it sleep.

"Sweet dreams pussy cat." he said. Suddenly the steel door flung open forcefully, enter Ra's and Ubu.

"Detective, are you alright?" Ra's asked

"Fine, a little banged up, but; that's just how I roll."

"Excellent, did you find any clues?" the demon asked

"Actually yes." Batman picked up the topography map. "Look at this map here, it's of the Himalayas, and see this, there' s a scratch right down the middle, as if done by a fingernail to make out a route."

"Indeed, I am familiar with that area, and the nearest field to accommodate my aircraft is 100 miles from our destination." Ra's explained. "So I will arrange for a helicopter when one is needed." they found themselves at the exit. Batman bowed at the door so as to not get Ubu strike three.

"Please, after you." Batman insisted. Ubu grunted with appreciation.

Their quest would take them through the Himalayas of Nepal, over the snow-cap peeks, the three were ready to jump out and land via parachute. Batman opened the side door to get a blast of blizzard in his face.

"The LZ is just ahead, I've already radioed for my men, they await us on the mountain top." Ra's yelled

"While I land the hard way, right?" Batman asked

"You must search for clues, if we are to have any luck finding the people we seek, splitting up will be most nes-[violent coughing]" Ra's sat down, at his coughing again.

"Master, we must get you to one of the pits!" Ubu insisted going to his master's side

"Pits?" Batman asked skeptical

"Ignore him Detective, we must stay on the hunt, for the sake of the children!"

"Alright, if that's the way it is to be played." Batman shrugged, then jumped. His chute was attatched to a static line, so it released immediately.

Batman descended into the snowy mountains. He looked for the LZ. He found it, but just a half a click away on the ground, he spotted something shine briefly like a star or something...To his surprise, an RPG round was fired, it just missed Batman, and went right for the helicopter, blwoing it to pieces-[Ka-Boom]"

"No!" the chopper hit the ground in a fiery thud far below the LZ. Suddenly from the ground, assault rifles fired towards Batman, who quickly released his chute and fell the next 20 feet to the mountain top, where he activated his Bat-skies, and skied the mountain down to the charred helo.

The attackers arrived moments later, finding Batman's winter jacket on the ground just feet from the wreckage, they shot at the coat. Batman of course, hid in the snow, and jumped them both. Knocking them both out cold.

A little saddened by Ra's and Ubu's supposed deaths, Batman knew this could not sway him. He took out the map, and continued from the LZ with no more altercations. His search led him to a cave carved into one of the mountains.

The cave quickly turned into something like a cave to a finished bunker, Batman peered into a rather large room, on the far other end in the dead center sat someone half asleep on a chair.

"Nightwing?"

"Huh? Batman!"

"Are you okay?"

"Boy am I glad to see you bro!" still didn't answer his previous question.

"I'll have you free in a minute-[shwip]" a throwing knife whizzed passed Batman's head.

Suddenly, 6 guys dressed like a occultists came out of nowhere all holding battle axes and those jagged knives. Batman quickly and creatively subdued them all. And then went to free Nightwing so nonchalantly.

"Been here long?" Batman asked freeing his older ward.

"Couple days I think, I still have no idea who grabbed me." suddenly the room lit up with candles

"I do." Batman snarled. Then out from a curtain came the very man, still in the sphinx mask, clapping his hands. Batman quickly jumped him, throwing the mask off... "Ra's Al Ghul..."

"I guess your little "accident" wasn't fatal, I imagine you and Ubu fled the chopper while I wasn't looking."

"Indeed, for the moment it exploded it was proceeding on automatic pilot. So, how long have you known Detective?" Ra's asked "That I planned your ward's capture?"

"Almost from the beginning. How could you have known that Nightwing and your daughter were abducted on the same night?" by now the henchmen were coming too.

"Unless I had done the abducting?" Now Ubu entered

"Exactly. And do you think I would let you take me anywhere in your plane that you meant to lead me somewhere? For one thing, there were all those would-be assassins, knowing exactly where we would be and when, someone would have to be tipping them off. That someone had to be you." Batman continued "Then there was Ubu, always at your side, always very picky about you going ahead of everyone else. Except in Malaysia, where you knew there was danger waiting."

"I'm deeply impressed." Ra's bowed

"As...am I." came Heather's voice. She too entered by her father, rather then her skin tight catsuit, she wore an Indians belly dancer costume.

"Ready to go?" Batman asked Nightwing, trying not to look at the smirking Heather.

"Well...if you say so?" Nightwing shrugged. "Though it was just starting to get interesting." the two started for the exit. Ubu ran up to them

"The master gave you no permission to leave."

"I didn't ask for any." Batman kept a cool head. This angered Ubu. He went to throw a punch, where Batman was quick to catch it.

"And that's strike three-"

"Wha?"

"And you're OUT!" he then threw Ubu over his shoulder., he hit the floor...hard.

"Wait, I can't let you leave like this." Heather said blocking the exit. "My father meant you no harm, really."

"He had a funny way of showing it." Batman said crossing his arms

"My time is short Detective. I have no sons, I need a man to assume my position when I am gone."

"Then it was a test? But, why me?" Batman asked

"Because you are most worthy, that is proven beyond any doubt." Heather got closer "And, because my precious daughter, loves you." she got real close.

"Forget it."

"Then this means we must be enemies, you will regret this Bat-[violent coughing]" this time it got real bad. Ra's hit the floor. Heather ran to him.

"Father." he wasn't moving.

"He's dying!"

"I've had it with your little games." Batman fumed

"This is no game I swear it." by now Ra's was weezing. Barely breathing.

"Pulse is bad, he can't fake that." Batman said checking the Demon's pulse.

"We must get him to the Lazarus Pit!" Heather insisted.

So, the gang brought Ra's over this large inner cave cliff. Feet below that was a glowing bubbling fizzing green goop. Ra's was placed on a stretcher which was suspended by a rope to lower him into the pit.

"You want us to put him in that, you're crazy!" Nightwing fumed

"No, listen to me, I know this is difficult to believe but this pit is what keeps him alive, what has kept him alive for centuries." Heather explained

"Batman?" Nightwing asked

"Please, you must believe me!"

"We have no choice, he's stopped breathing."

So a shirtless Ra's was lowered into the pit, as he hit the goop, it fizzled even more until the stretcher was easily 7 feet under.

"We killed him." Nightwing sighed, Heather only smiled

"No, all is well."

Suddenly the goop began to whirlpool itself, fire came out of Ra's mouth and eyes, and a giant wave of the stuff, brought him up to the surface, only he didn't look like himself...at all, much, much more insane.

"HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Heather ran to him, only for herself to be lifted over his shoulders

"Father, no!"

"Put her down!" Batman ordered. Ra's only kicked him to the ground.

"AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

"I said, PUT HER DOWN!"

"HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

**To Be Continued...End of Part II**

Alright guys, wow...almost there, just two more chaps to go to see what rally happens to the demon's head. Anyway REVIEWS always appreciated, and if anyone wants to know about upcoming episodes, or season 6...and beyond, gimme a shout! Lemme just say, season 6 opener...Arleen Sorkin returns -tee-hee ;)

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Dan Petronijevic: **Nightwing

_**Guest Starring...**_

**David Warner: **Ra's Al Ghul

**Rachel Wilson: **Heather Al Ghul

**Jim Cummings: **Ubu

**Frank Welker: **Thugs, Jaguar

**Dee Bradley Baker: **various henchmen

**Mark Hamill: **various henchmen

PEACE!


	47. The Demon's Quest, Part V

**Villain: Ra's Al Ghul**

**Episode Rewrite: The Demon's Quest (Part II)**

**Written By:Len Wein, Dennis O'Neil**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 23: The Demon's Quest (Part III)**

Ra's still continued to laugh maniacally holding Heather above his head.

"Put her down Ra's!" Batman yelled again

"HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

"No, father please!" Heather begged

"We must do something, the chemicals will revive the dying, but will kill a healthy person." Ubu explained.

"I get it, I get it!"

"AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Ra's turned to the pits, ready to throw Heather in.

"No, Father please, Stop!"

"HA-HA-HA-HA-huh?" Suddenly the rope of a batling hook, wrapped itself around Ra's arms. Batman pulled the demon away from the pits, and Heather hit the ground...sort of softly. Batman picked her up bridal style. They saw an angry Ra's break free of the rope starring daggers at them.

"Stay back!" Batman ordered

"No, I can handle this myself!" Heather insisted. She approached her seething father and...slapped him in the face. Ra's winced a little, and then seemed to go back to...let's...call it normal.

"Thank you daughter." they embraced in a hug "And thank you Detective, for saving my daughter's life."

"You look refreshed father...renewed."

"Yes." Ra's said getting his flex on. "But even a miracle such as the Lazarus Pits comes at a terrible price."

"Yes, it offers life, but a major side effect is for the revived to go temporarily insane."

"Quite, and no man may reap it's blessings indefinitely, so I ask you kindly again Detective, to wed my daughter and carry out for me when I am gone?" he saw Heather smile devilishly.

"The answer is still no." Batman said arms crossed

"A pity, you leave me no choice." Ra's snapped his fingers, suddenly 7 Shadows appeared pointing guns at Batman and Nightwing.

"Father no!" Heather begged

"He's seen far too much, they cannot be permitted to leave!" Ra's insisted dragging her from the room. The shadows backed up slowly, Ra's went for a stone button on the wall, only to be stopped by Heather.

"You would destroy this place? Our home?"

"Only a minor loss, there is nothing here that we cannot find at our desert stronghold. And we must not leave anything behind that can be used against us." Ra's pressed the button. Rocks and debris started to fall, and the whole cave began to shake.

"Farewell Detective."

"Goodbye...Beloved." Heather hung her head. Just as a massive stone door fell, trapping the crime fighters.

The whole cave shook. Bigger stalactites fell, one almost crushing the very platform from where they stood. The floor cracked, almost dropping the two in. Batman saw an open opportunity, the rope that dropped Ra's into the pit earlier.

"Nightwing, the Rope!"

"Got it!" Nightwing fell and grabbed onto the rope, hanging on for dear life. Batman did the same.

The two nearly dropped into the pit. Until Batman saw their ever closing window of opportunity. The pulley which held the rope up, was attached to the ceiling of the cave, right next to that was an opening. The two quickly climbed to the top, just as the entire ceiling caved into itself. The dashed away to harder snow, lest there's be an after shock.

The ground continued to cave, and the two found themselves at the edge of a cliff. Batman saw another window of opportunity, the cliff curved, making it a good snow covered slide.

"Come on!"

"Jump! Trent are you nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuts!" the two jumped and slid down the mountain, avoiding the avalanche that was headed their way. They finally hit paydirt...er, snow rather.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, wish I wore the thermal tights, but other then that-" Nightwing was cut off by the sound of Ra's plane, flying away. "By the time we reach the bottom of this mountain, he could be halfway to his desert stronghold, wherever that is."

"Then it looks like were gonna have to find it. He's gonna try and make his green and preserved planet a reality...even if it means destroying half the planet's population." the two continued through the snow

"But, like we don't even know where to start looking."

"You were with him for nearly a week, you must have over heard something."

"Well, I was trying to bust a move on Heather...didn't work...but there was this one word that kept coming up."

"Which was?" Batman asked

"Orpheus."

"Well, it's not much but it's all we got."

The two made it to the capital city and began their search at the Wayne Industries Nepal building. At a computer Trent and Geoff started THEIR quest.

"Orpheus, in Greek mythology, he descended to the netherworld to bring his beloved back from the dead." Trent said "But according to the database, Orpheus is also the name of a privately owned satellite, launched into synchronous orbit over a year ago."

"Uh, coincidence?"

"Yeah, right." Trent chuckled

"And where's it hovering over?" Geoff asked

"Where else, a desert...according to the latest track...The Sahara desert! And these coordinates must be the location of Ra's Al Ghul's desert stronghold!"

We cutscene you now to the cockpit of a plan several clicks from the location, and closing in. Nightwing was driving...scary thought?

"Were within 100 kilometers-I HEARD THAT-of the target area Trent, gonna hold her steady at 5,000 feet just in case of AA fire. But you should still be able to eject at this altitude." dumbass, it's either metric or customary, not both!

"Let's do it!" Batman said strapping on another parachute. He took the jump.

On the ground, a convoy of Shadows on camel back were en route to the stronghold. Batman snuck behind a rock formation they were walking passed. One of the camels picked up his scent.

"Huh...what is it, what do you see girl-[thud]" Batman knocked him off, quickly disguised himself and jumped onto the Camel, looking just like the rest.

"Hey, quit lagging back there!" The lead guy yelled. Again it looked cooler in the actual episode.

Anyway, atop a desert cliff, was the stronghold, actually it was more or less a fort, or castle. Complete with opening drawbridge and everything. Ubu was there to greet them.

"So, you have finally arrived? Dismount and follow me, there is much work to be done." he ordered. Yup, they were in the right place. "Best we not keep the master waiting.

The Shadows dismounted and walked forward awaiting orders. Whereas Batman walked in between two buildings, Ubu saw this and followed him.

"You there, did you not here? I said-huh?" he saw no one. "Must be seeing things."

Meanwhile Batman peered into another building, a large command center with a satellite uplink station. This time Ubu caught him. And threw the dark knight over.

"So, my eyes did not deceive me, you will pay for this trespass!" they began in a heated battle, however Batman proved a tougher opponent, and it seemed Ubu was beat...well until the Shadows got wise and grabbed the disguised Caped Crusader. Batman of course wouldn't give up without a fight, and tried to take them all on...this lasted for a good minute of so before they had him.

"For this indignity, I shall see you suffer!" Ubu fumed

"Enough!" Came Ra's voice. He and Heather walked from their building on a stoop. "What is the meaning of this disturbance Ubu?" Ra's asked

"Forgive me master, but I discovered this most unworthy one spying." Ra's stroked his dual goatee in amusement.

"Oh? I would like a closer look at one so foolish." he jumped from the stoop "Also brave." he took off the one mask. There stood old Batzy.

"You?" Ubu asked surprise

"My admiration for you is well founded Detective."

"Too bad I can't stay the same."

"Shall I dispatch of him master?" Ubu asked

"No, for now merely relieve him of that cumbersome belt." Ra's ordered. Heather took his belt, an kept giving him goo-goo eyes.

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

Alright guys big finish coming up next...Hey Cartoongal...proud of you...

MOOOOOORE PLEASE!

GOOOOOOOOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!


	48. The Demon's Quest, Part VI

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Alright guys, big finish here! Then we get to move onto something else! Yeah seems like forever!

"You can at least tell me your plan, right?" Batman asked. For whatever reason two guys took off his bat-shirt and cape.

"Well, I suppose I do owe you that. Detective considering this is mostly brought on by you and people like you." Ra's said scratching his chin. "Alright."

"Shall I take off his mask master?" Ubu asked

"No-no leave it, it's a badge of honor." Ra's insisted. "Anyway, I always dreamed of an earthly utopia. With my heir taking over for me after I pass. And your refusal to become my heir has left me no other choice. Now because of this I must use my destruction of the Lazarus pits in one fell stroke." Ra's took them to an opened trailer with a satellite dish on top, twas his nerve center of the entire operation.

"How?" Batman asked

"I'll show you." Ra's pressed a button, that opened up a dome atop a 50 foot circular structure with a crane hovering above it. Deep in the hollowed structure was another pit. "The chemicals in the pit are much like a stew bubbling to the earth's surface only at certain key places." Ra's explained. The crane lowered a huge bomb towards the hole.

"As we speak, my people are placing bombs like that one, over each and every Lazarus Pit in the world. These bombs are linked to a private satellite already in earth orbit."

"Orpheus."

"Precisely, and at the moment when the sun and moon are lined up to create the perfect alignment it will be covering Earth's magnetic field giving a signal to the final countdown." The Demon continued. "8 minutes after one bomb will be lowered into the heart, of each pit. The satellite will release a signal detonating each bomb simultaneously. Each pit typically runs near Tectonic fault lines all over the globe, with the exception of the this one and the one in the Himalayas which is now destroyed. Earthquakes will ravage the globe, also the resulting explosions will bring about a chain reaction, the chemicals will flood the globe, all will be saturated in their chemical solution. And when the resulting cataclysm has been abated the world will be at last, at a blessed peace. Our defiled planet shall once again be restored...to it's former glory."

"Uh, Poison Ivy much? Not to mention this will cost countless lives." Batman gasped

"Actually detective we have counted: 2,056,983,000...A most impressive plan, would you not agree?"

"Yes...I can see it clearly now for the first time." Ra's smiled, thinking Batman would completely humble himself. "You are completely, out of your f*cking mind!" his smile quickly faded.

"Infidel dog!" Ubu fumed, kicking Batman right in his Bat-Back. He hit the floor. "This time I shall attend to you personally!"

"Ubu!" the beast stopped

"I want the Detective to witness this with his own eyes." Ra's insisted "To see the realization, of my dream." The Demon left the deck on the trailer.

"Yes, master." Ubu said with a bow.

"You two, take him to the tower, so he can witness my moment of triumph!" he ordered two Shadows.

"As you wish, master." one said.

"Wait!" Heather quickly stopped them. She gave Batman a big ol' Heather kiss. . .YEAH BUDDY! "To remember me, Beloved." she said.

Anyway inside the tower they had chained Batman to the wall in the dungeon. It looked as if a typical dungeon should.

"Not so tough without your precious belt are you?" one taunted. The left the room.

Now Batman was no idiot, he knew what to do in situations like this. So before they took his belt, he scrambled a pin inside his mouth, which he used to pick himself out of the shackles in a hurry. The guards stood on the other side of the barred gate with their backs turned to the dungeon.

"One can only wonder why the master felt it would take two of us to guard him."

[Bong]

"Unh."

"Aw-unh." Batman grabbed them both and slammed their heads against the gate, knocking them out. He grabbed their keys and freed himself. Meanwhile Ra's stood on his private balcony with Heather addressing his henchmen.

"My children, we stand on the threshold of a great adventure! Even now the satellite Orpheus is moving into proper alignment with the sun and moon and the moment of destiny is finally upon us!"

"YEEEEEEAH!"

"Woo-Hoo!" everyone cheered

"Father it is not too late, surely there is some other way." Heather begged

"No daughter, the decision has been made." Ra's gave his men the signal, and they activated the timer, 5 minutes remain. Heather cringed. "In 5 minutes the world will be forever changed.

In the midst of all the Shadows cheering, no one watched the ammo dump...well all but one but he was quickly knocked out by Batman, he peered into the window, and saw his window of opportunity. He grabbed a grenade off the fallen Shadow Ninja, pulled the pin and tossed the grenade inside, running for his life.

[BOOOOM-Ka-Boom, EXPLODE-SHHHHAAAAA] The explosion destroyed the ammo dump, all the stockpiles destroyed. Not to mention all the live RPG rounds and Artillery Shells. Needless to say, the Shadows retreated from the fort immediately. Nightwing watched the debacle from the plane...3 miles from the fort.

"The hell did he do?"

Ra's then saw Batman climb the deck to the trailer. Subduing the guys working the controls.

"Master!" Ubu yelled getting a sward ready

"Get rid of him, he's ruining everything!" Ra's ordered. Ubu quickly tossed Batman off the deck with a bolo. Batman was able to grab it

"Infidel!"

"If you only knew how sick I am of you calling me that!" Ubu took out his sward. And lunged, Batman was able to use the rope to collide him into the trailer, knocking the beast out.

"Whooooa-[thud]" Batman grabbed his sward.

"Perhaps Detective it is time you and I, finished this!" Ra's yelled approaching him as the fire grew stronger. "It is the only chance you will ever have to stop that satellite." Ra's unsheathed his sward. "Well? Are you man enough to face your better?"

"If you insist."

The two began in a heated battle of wits-HA-which brought them all around the fort, eventually on the defensive, Batman found himself walking and fighting up the spiral stairs of the cylinder of the pit. The two climbed to the very top.

There were some very close calls...mostly from Ra's to Batman. Hardly phased however Heather saw the two fight.

"Give it up Ra's! You'll destroy yourself!" 30 seconds remain

"It appear we will both perish together Detective." they reached the edge "Accept it, you have no other choice!"

"Do I?" Batman used the sward as a appear to launch at the satellite dish, effectively destroying it...2 seconds remained. With no power, the satellite fell out of orbit, and landed just off center of a developing Hurricane in the Eastern Atlantic Ocean.

Now completely angered, Ra's took very risky and fruitless lunges, which Batman easily dodged. Finally taking one lunge that threw him into the pit. Ra's was able to stab his sward into the side wall. Being the good guy, Batman lowered his hand

"Give me your hand!" Ra's was ready to initially but recessed

"...Victory is yours Detective, maybe now it's time I become one, with the planet I love so very much."

Ra's let go, and fell straight into the pit, not to resurface. Heather just caught the last glimpse...she of course, was heartbroken...as only she can be. The two were ready to part ways outside near the plane.

"You understand Beloved I share my father's dream, with the same ends, but I do not choose his means to those ends." Heather explained

"I know." Nightwing broke the small silence by starting up the engine.

"What's to become of me then...am I to become your prisoner?" Heather asked

"...Of course not." But as Batman was ready to leave-

"You must...Most of this was my fault, you see, I could have stopped this at anytime but I didn't."

"Heather, no one will find you guilty of-"

"What about your drill? What about me helping Vertigo? I'm not as innocent as I lead on..."

"O...kay, then come with me then." he offered handcuffs...such an odd ending. They shared a kiss right by the plane.

"So...plus one? No?" Nightwing asked killing the mood.

"Yeah-yeah, lets go already." they took off

"So is it finally over? Have we seen the last of Ra's Al Ghul?"

"Looks that way." Batman shrugged.

But as they leave we cutscene now back to the pits, where a single hand reaches out...

**THE FREAKIN END!**

Fanfiction! Hi, Kev Altieri here, director of this fine 3 parter! We hope you've thoroughly enjoyed, and ask you leave us your REVIEWS! We got some Riddler up next, and Cartoongal: loved it, but we need more! Alright guys, have a good one.

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Dan Petronijevic: **Nightwing

_**Guest Starring...**_

**David Warner: **Ra's Al Ghul

**Rachel Wilson: **Heather Al Ghul

**Jim Cummings: **Ubu, one or two henchmen

**Dee Bradley Baker: **various Shadows

**Mark Hamill: **various Shadows

**Frank Welker: **Camels

**Goodnight Everybody! Wish me luck, Homecoming Game Tomorrow Nite!**


	49. Riddle Me This, Part I

**Villain(s): Riddler, The Gray Goblin (Intro)**

**Episode Archive: What is Reality? (1992)**

**Written By: Marty Isenberg, Robert N. Skir**

**Directed By: Dick Sebast**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 24: Riddle Me This...**

En route back to Gotham from Libya, Batman and Nightwing were unaware of the deal going down in a condemned building. Riddler entered the building with a suitcase. He found the one who he sought to find.

"You know this wasn't easy to obtain." he said handing over the case.

"Oh spare me the sob story Nygma! Point is you've given me your end of the bargain, it's time I gave you mine." the shadow guy said in a very high pitched, yet sinisterly familiar voice...

"Good, meet me tomorrow night at this address." Riddler said handing the guy a card.

"You're...you're kidding me right?"

"Hey, it's either that or no deal."

"Okay-okay fine, I'll see you there 9 o'clock sharp, now leave me, I want to be alone with all my favorite presidents...and Ben Frankin...hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-aha-ha-ha-ha-AHA-HA-HA-HA!"

"Okay...creepy, I'll be seeing ya." Riddler cleared out of there in a hurry.

Twas the next morning, Cody Drake was busy watching Saturday morning cartoons at the Wayne Manor living room. While Alfred was busy dusting.

"Ha, those Animaniacs sure know how to have fun." Cody chuckled laying upside down on the couch.

"You do realize master Cody this is a cartoon?"

"Of course Alfred." the boy wonder rolled his eyes. Suddenly the phone rang. [briiiiing] "I got it Alfred. Hello, Wayne Manor, Dr. Love speaking, what's cookin?"

"_Cody it's Trent."_

"Oh..."

"_Disappointed?"_

"No, just thought some desperate ex-girlfriend would be calling."

"_Ha-ha, listen, I found Geoff, were heading home from the Sahara."_

"Sure sounds-wait the Sahara?"

"_Long story, gotta drop someone of at Arkham, saved the world, Demon's Head-same ol-same ol, put Alfred on would ya buddy?"_

"Sure...Alfred, it's Trent." Cody said handing the Butler the phone.

"Oh splended...Master Trent, how did your search go?"

"_Better then what I had hoped, I found Geoff, and to make a long story short, saved the world."_

"Excellent, when can I expect you both back in Gotham?"

"_Sometime early tomorrow morning, make sure Cody and Bridgette go on patrol-"_

"They have been Master Trent, however our dear friend Mr. Nygma has been stirring up trouble in town."

"_Well, at least he's back. It's on them for now buddy, I'll be in touch."_

"Alright Master Trent, I eagerly await your arrival, ta-ta." he hung up.

"Speaking of Riddler, check this out." Cody pointed to the TV.

"_Our top story today, Gotham has been terrorized by Riddles."_

"_One of Gotham's latest costumed criminals, The Riddler, has been terrorizing the city as only he can."_

"_Noah Nygma, once a respected game designer for Multicorp in Metropolis, turned to a life of crime after being wrongly fired."_

"_Since his brush with the Batman and Nightwing 8 months ago, he has been on the run, now finally resurfacing 3 nights prior."_

"_He steals from various places, then paints his riddles across the walls, his latest crime, robbing nearly $100,000 from Gotham First National Bank last night."_

"_It's been rumored that Riddler will be teaming up with Gotham's latest costumed foe, The Gray Goblin."_

"_No one knows who he is but he has been recently seen stealing various prototypes from Gothcorp, strangely enough on the 4th month anniversary of CEO Ferris Boyle's disappearance."_

"_Police Commissioner Chris Gordon has offered a $50,000 reward for his capture, and in the Batman's most recent disappearance, not a moment too soon."_

"_Join us as we bring you in depth at this shocking exclusive, I'm Jack Ryder."_

"_And I'm Summer Gleeson-" _Alfred turned off the TV.

"I imagine yours and Ms. Gordon's search has been fruitless."

"Your telling me, he's crafty Alfred, knows every move we make before we even make it." Cody groaned

"In my humble opinion, he's probably the most intelligent villain you've ever faced, maybe ever will." Uh...Ra's Al Ghul would disagree.

"Well, better go see if the Commish' has any leads."

"Good luck Master Cody."

Later that evening, Riddler stood in the sewers awaiting the arrival of the Gray Goblin. The bowler hatted psycho was getting very impatient.

"Ugh, 9:03, I said 9 sharp, where is he? Gray Gobin, where are you Gray Goblin?" Suddenly he heard a jet engine, and from down the line came the Gray Goblin on a dark flying wing.

"Here I am Riddler. Nice isn't it, a little present from my old friends at Gothcorp."

"You're late." Riddler said dryly

"Fashionably late, thank you."

If your curious about his wardrobe, he wears a gray three-piece with a black tie. And a darker gray cape and hood combo, the only thing you can see under the hood is his grayish eyes.

"So explain to me, and the folks at home, your plan."

"Easy, Gordon's put a 50k reward out for me, you as a concerned citizen will do just that, once were alone in his office, we pounce on him, kidnap him, and raise a little bounty of our own, once we have our money, we go our separate ways, fair?"

"Yawn...You're boring me Nygma, there's no fun in that plan at all, just a lot of work."

"Well I don't see you making any brilliant plans!"

"Oh but I already have one." Gray began "It's easy, there's no one at police HQ at this time tonight anyway, we split up and you go find Gordon, eliminate him, and steal the the 50 grand, while I, loot the police safe, and then, we blow up the building, it might just be the best plan since Joker tried to blow up the city with that bomb!"

"That's actually not a bad idea, I like it-but, oh yeah there's one thing missing...like-Enough Explosives to take down a building!" Riddler fumed

"I already thought of that." from his coat Gray took out a small bomb "Has enough nitroglycerin to choke an elephant, we just need to find one key stress point in the building, shouldn't be too hard, right?"

"Nope."

"Good, let's begin, but uh, one more thing."

"What is it?"

"Why couldn't we have just met somewhere closer to the police Headquarters?"

"Were under it..." Riddler pressed a button, the floor above them blew down.

"I thought you said you had no explosives?"

"Not enough to destroy the whole building, now let's go."

"Hop on." the two flew up to the police HQ. "Ah yes, the special crimes evidence vault...sound proof, you're as smart as you lead on to be Nygma."

"I try. But if I may ask, why couldn't have we went with my plan again?"

"Because I'm in it for the money, and my plan will make us rich."

"Whatever you say, now let's go." they unlocked the safe, and split up.

Upstairs in Gordon's office, he was showing Batgirl and Robin Riddler's latest schemes...all the while geling his hair.

"Okay, as you can see here, more stolen goods...more riddles, I don't know how he does it. But since you say Batman is away, we have no other choice but act now before he really hurts the city." Chris explained

"Of course Commissioner."

"don't worry, we catch Nygma way before Batman and Nightwing get back." Robin assured him

"But in the meantime, Robin stay with the Commissioner to act as a bodyguard, in case Riddler has anything to say about the 50 grand, I'll start searching with Detective Montoya." Batgitl suggested

"Good idea." Robin agreed. Batgirl exited.

Meanwhile Gray Goblin had found the vault room and was using his new stolen tools to crack it open. He found success.

"Bingo. Come to papa heh-heh-heh-heh." he opened the safe. "Ah, there you lovelies are, hello Ben, gained some weight I see, Ulysses you crazy sonofabitch, Alex, lost any duals lately? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Yup, he's talking to money. Suddenly he heard the cock of a gun behind him.

"Don't move freak! That's my paycheck you're stealing! Turn around slowly." Gray complied

"So, Harvey Bullock, world's fattest and most annoying detective all rolled into one."

"Listen to me hoodie, I don't know how you got in here, but I know how you're getting out!" Chef fumed

"Really, you mean like this!" he launched a bolo which tied Chef up.

"What-Hey!"

"Nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah! You know Bullock! You may be a lousy cop, but you make a terrific dead weight, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Suddenly a Batarang flew in Gray's general direction

"Huh?"

"Don't bet on it you!" Came Batgirl's voice.

"Ah yes, Batgirl right? Of course I'm right, how could I forget a face like that hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

"What about mine!" Courtney Montoya asked entering.

"Hmm, Ms. Montoya, you I'm not familiar with but...no, no I don't remember you that much at all."

"What! How dare you! I'm in the news just as much as Chef!"

"Yeah uh, not to rush you guys, but this bolo is really constricting me-"

"QUIET! Now, if you little girls will be so kind enough as to move it or lose it, I'll be taking this cash, finding Riddler, and getting the hell out of here." Gray quickly threw some cash into a sack.

"No way, it's 3...er, 2 against one!" Batgirl counted "And you're going down."

"Yeah, and where is Riddler anyhow?" Courtney asked

"Oh I dunno, probably looking for old Chrissy to make him die...with a Riddle."

"Well i'm sure Robin can handle him." Batgirl shrugged

"Just like you two can handle me, right?"

"Right!"

"But would you fight a guy with a familiar face?" he asked taking off his hood

"Oh my God!"

"I don't believe it!"

"It's-"

**To Be Continued...Don't I just suck?**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!  
**


	50. Riddle Me This, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"Old man Jenkins!"

"Oops sorry, ha-ha costume store was having a sale, couldn't pass up that opportunity." Gray smirked, he unmasked again.

"Ronald Reagan!"

"Ha! I knew he wasn't dead, pay up Montoya!"

"No Bullock you simpleton, it's just another mask!"

"Frank Welker?"

"Whose he?"

"They make masks for voice actors?" . . .

"John Lennon?"

"Mark Hamill!" Getting warmer

"The guy from the Allstate commercial?"

**Several Cliche costume changes later...**

"Okay, last one, promise."

"Shelly Winters?"

"Alright-alright-alright, I swear this is the last one."

"GASP-Ferris Boyle!"

"That's right you so called crime fighters, and you better get used to calling me, The Gray Goblin." he said putting his hood back on.

"But, how?

"Yeah sucka we all thought you was dead." Chef added.

"So did I, really should thank Joker for that fish toxin he used on the shark, screws them up internally you see, when it swallowed me whole, it messed me up a little, scrambled my brain...and gave me slight upgrades to my strength and speed. But, never did tear me away from my one love...money."

"Figures." Batgirl rolled her eyes

"Then why work with Nygma?" Courtney asked

"Why else, he was available and hiring."

"Speaking of Nygma, we better find him before he gets to the Commissioner!" Batgirl suggested

"No kidding, STILL TIED UP HERE!" Bullock yelled

"So, as the nutso Bowler hat man would say, Riddle Me This: How many good guys does it take to take down a money hungry ex-CEO psycho?" Gray asked before stepping onto the wing

"Uh..."

"Er-"

"Uh-"

"Too late, eat my dust-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" he flew with the money, grabbing Courtney by the arm

"Wha-hey!"

"Oh yeah I forgot, I like having a hostage, you should know that Batgirl! Ta-ta kiddies-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" He flew about the headquarters.

"Ergh! We gotta stop Boyle before he does some serious damage!"

"Ahem!"

"Oh, right." she ran to untie Chef.

Meanwhile upstairs Cody and Chris sat in the office, not the least bit concerned about Riddler...well sorta.

"Relax Commish, no way Riddler is gonna sneak in here while the R-Man is present."

"I know-I know Robin, but you said it yourself he's...I-I'm sorry, did you just refer to yourself as the R-Man?" Chris asked

"You bet I did." Suddenly through the glass windows they saw a translucent Riddler in the offices outside.

"Shh..." Chris pointed to the door. Robin nodded, getting a batarang ready. Then, the sound of a small Jet engine was heard, following by the sound of-

"Yoo-hoo, oh Riddler! Got some greenbacks for us, nah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

"Shhhhhhhhh!" Ridder shhed him. "Are you crazy, the commissioner is in his office and I'm trying to be sneaky-"

"You do realize we can see you from the window right?"

"Oh dammit!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-don't fret Nygma, there's always plan b."

"Plan B? I don't like where this is going." Courtney groaned

"Oh shut up, and enjoy the ri...oh crap."

"What's wrong?" Riddler asked

"_Malfunction...malfunction." _the wing's computer voice said

"That's what's wrong, best you stay away Nygma." Gray warned

"What-I don't like the malfunction voice." Courtney gulped. All the while Chris and Robin looked pretty confused just behind the walls

"Oh pul-ease, I bet I can fix this easil-oh crap." One of Riddler's cuff links got stuck in the wing.

"Ergh! Nice going -[crash-thud-CRASH]"

K here's what went down, The malfunction caused the wing to fly at mock speed straight forward and haphazardly. Right through into Chris's office, gathering the Commissioner and Boy wonder in their path, finally crashing through the window behind them, now 25 stories above the street, and losing altitude.

"HOW DO YOU STOP THIS THING!" Courtney yelled

"It's a malfunction you idiot, it won't stop, till something else stops iiiiiit!" Gray shouted

"Like that?" Riddler pointed to the the office building they were quickly approaching.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

...Anyway on the 18th floor of the Metlife building, right by the window panel, two coworkers were enjoying some coffee and making small talk.

"So, can you believe Hansen totally blew me off in the big business meeting?"

"I know, what a douche."

"I made those quarterly plans from scratch and that f*ck head takes literally, all the credit for it! Unbelievable."

"Hey don't worry about it dude, you're still the best chart maker in this entire dump."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah man, hey-screw that turd Hansen, no one makes those damn charts as good as-[CRAAAAAAAAASH]"

"Whoooooooooa-[bang-cash, thud]"

The wing crashed through the window, injuring everyone in it's path. Everyone eventually fell off as the wing flew across the hallway and into the elevator shaft, blowing up. Everyone staggered to their feet. When Gray looked up, he saw a horrible sight, a fiery...green cafetti.

"What-NOOOO! My fortune! NOOOOOOOO!" the Gray Goblin fell to his knees. "I was gonna use that money to put a down payment on speed booooooooooat." he sobbed

"What?" Chris yelled behind the makeshift cover he hid behind, gun drawn "You're Ferris Boyle, you have like...7 boats!"

"Well 8 actually, but I don't own a speed boat dammit!"

"Ha, you should have called yourself the Greed Goblin, not the Gray Goblin!" Robin added

"Nah, sounds too much like Green Goblin which is already taken, besides, other then green, gray is my favorite color-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Anyway inside Chris's ruined office Chef and Bridgette watched from across the street at the smoke filled office across the street from them.

"Okay, looks like were swinging across." Batgirl said getting a Batling hook ready.

"Oh no-no-no-no-no-no-no Bat-Freak, there is no way-NO WAY I'm-" Chef couldn't even finish his sentence when Batgirl gave him the 'you're doing this stare' "No way."

"Mm-hmm."

"Nu-uh, noooo way, there is absolutely-"

"NO WAY you you all can win now!" Riddler said. He was in front of the smashed window with two guns aimed at the small few employees, Robin, Chris, and Courtney, who have been subdued. Gray was off to the side "Finally I can be rid of you Gordon, so once Gotham PD is without their fearless leader, it'll make finding my old friend Daniel Mockridge even easier!"

"What! Mockridge?" Gray asked

"Yeah..."

"The only man in this world more greedy then I?"

"Again, yeah, you know him Boyle?"

"Know him? Ha! We used to play golf together and laugh about not tipping the caddys or drink girls. Point being I could have told you where to find him."

"WHAT!" Riddler fumed "We break into police HQ, risk our lives on a death defying flight across the street, destroy this office building and injure like...let's see 1, 2-3, 8 employees...and you could have just as easily of told me this...last night?"

"Oh yes indeedy-do ha-ha." Gray laugh

"Well-WHY DIDN'T YA!" Everyone yelled

"He didn't ask, besides, this was way more fun, and...sort of more profitable."

"ERRRGH! Well it doesn't matter, Noah Nygma finishes what he starts! So, goodnight Gor-"

"Uh...Riddler." Gray said looking out the window

"Not now Boyle, I want to enjoy this."

"I can see that, but I suggest you move a few steps to your right-"

"Knock it off Gray you're ruining my concentration!"

"You can just as easily concentrate a few steps over there!"

"Boyle for the last time I-oh crap." he saw Bullock and Batgirl swing right for the window

"AHHHHHHHH-[thud-crash]"

"Eh, tried to warn him." Gray then noticed Batgirl recover right by him. He grabbed her from behind. "You however Ms. Batgirl will make an excellent temporary source of income-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm."

"Mmmmmmmmmm!" she muffled. Chris and company surrounded the injured Riddler who was already being cuffed by Chef.

"Ha, finally gotcha Nygma!"

"Ugh, whatever, just can you get me some anti-acid...[vomits]-and a new pair of shoes."

"Thanks guys."

"Yeah you sure saved us!"

"Way to go!" the office workers cheered

"Ha, just goes to show, we didn't need Batman's help at all on this one. Right Bat...girl?"

"Huh?"

"Where'd she go?"

"And where's Boyle?" Chris asked

"Surpsise-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Gray appeared on another wing just outside the window.

"GASP!"

"It's always nice to carry a spare, like the boy scouts say, be prepared, oh and as for Ms. Batgirl." Gray gained a few feet of altitude to see Batgirl, gagged and tied up, dangling from the bottom.

"Let her go Boyle!" Chef yelled

"Not likely Tubby, if you want her, you better get a good ransom ready, I'll be in touch, ha-ha-ha-ha...Aha-h-ha-ha-ha...AHA-HA-HA-HA!" he flew away. Chris put his hand on Robin's shoulder.

"Don't worry, we'll get her back."

"I sure hope so Chris...I sure hope so."

Later at Wayne Manor Cody was chilling in the study while Alfred was buttling something, when suddenly the clock opened up. An uncowled Trent was carrying Geoff like a wounded soldier off the battlefield.

"Ugh, remind me again, why I had to carry you, when I did all the work?"

"Hey, I flew us all the way from the Sahara, that's not easy!"

"Hey, you didn't have to save the world from a mad man and almost blow it-"

"Ahem."

"Oh, Alfred old chum."

"Master Trent, glad to see all is well."

"Hey, any hug for me old man?" Geoff asked

"Of course master Geoffrey, glad to see you again."

"Hey Cody why the long face?" Trent asked

"You shouldn't have one bud, we had to drop someone off at Arkham on our way back and we saw Riddler being brought in, congrats little bro!"

"Yeah, look...We got Riddler, but this new guy, The Gray Goblin...he's got Batgirl."

"GASP!"

"Here's the kicker sir, he's really Ferris Boyle." Alfred commented

"DOUBLE GASP!"

"Well..." Trent walked for the window. "Get used to more sleepless nights fellas...cause until we find Bridgette, wee not getting too many, but for now were all exhausted...so we'll start fresh tomorrow...Out of one frying pan, and into another..." Geoff and Cody went off to sleep. "It only gets wose Alfred, it only gets worse...and I know, both Ferris, and Ra's Al Ghul are laughing at me...right...as...we...speak."

**THE END...**

Howdy Fanfiction, it's Eric Radomski again. Hope you enjoyed our little episode here, as we move onto more Penguin up next with Birds of a Feather. We ask you to PLEASE REVIEW and to Cartoongal, it's looking great! Alright guys, goodnight!

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Robin

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Courtney Montoya

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

**Dan Petronijevic: **Nightwing

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Carter Hayden: **Riddler

**Mark Hamill: **The Gray Goblin

**Rob Paulsen: **Office Worker

**Jennifer Hale: **Computer voice, office worker

**Jeff Bennett:** Jack Ryder, office worker

**Mari Devon:** Summer Gleeson

**Tom Kenny: **Time passing narrator, office worker

**James Arnold Taylor: **additional voices


	51. Birds of a Feather, Part I

**Villain(s): Penguin, Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, Two-Face, Catwoman.**

**Episode Archive: Birds of a Feather (1993)**

**Written By: Chuck Menville**

**Directed By: Frank Paur**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 25: Birds of a Feather**

Four of Gotham's worst sat in the club office of the recently paroled Penguin. Scarecrow, Two-Face, Poison Ivy, and Catwoman

"Any particular reason why you've called us here bird brain?" Two-Face asked... Wrong cartoon

"Yeah, cause I eat birds for breakfast." Catwoman added showing her claws.

"Patience, my fellow villainous miscreants, I have called you here on a matter most important." Penguin assured them. He took a bite of his favorite desk sandwich.

"Alright, eh, what is it?" Scarecrow asked

"I need you four-"

"Uh-huh."

"To steal-"

"Uh-Huh."

"A Priceless-"

"UH-HUH-"

"Rare Faberge egg from the Gotham museum!"

"Uggggggggggggh!" the villains groaned

"What?" Penguin shrugged "Something I said?"

"No you simpleton, it's always with the bird stuff with you! Besides why do we have to get it?" Ivy asked

"Yeah, and why did you bring that murderous thing along, we hate each other!" Two-Face added

"Al it's not a hatred...more like I wish you dead kinda thing."

"Ya-ya, ya see!"

"Alright, look; it's not ideal, but rest assured the payoff will be most enticing." Penguin got out a suitcase "1 million each."

"Ugh, I'm sick of money eh, what else you got, eh?" Scarecrow asked

"Oh uh...what do you want?"

"I...wanna diamond."

"Done." Penguin plopped a small diamond on the table.

"Uh...I mean a bigger diamond."

"K." Penguin brought out a larger diamond "Big enough."

"Plenty, eh."

"Good, now, the egg is in the Gotham Museum of Natural History, I don't care how you get it, so long as it does not connect back to me, understood?"

"Yes sir."

"Good, now leave me to my desk sandwich." he shooed them away. "Take my catering van out front." he tossed Two-Face the keys. They walked outside to the parking lot in search of the van.

"Dear God I hope it's not in the shape of a..."

"Penguin." the villains groaned starring at the vehicle Two-Face unlocked

"Alright-alright, it's not ideal, but money talks, am I right amigos?"

"You didn't flip for it...desperate much?" Ivy asked

"Ergh! Fine bitch." he took out his coin "Heads we steal some other van, bad heads, we get this crap-[plink]...DAMN! Get in." Everyone piled into the van, all except for-

"Oh, sorry Izzy, no more room, guess you'll have to settle for the back-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Two-Face chuckled slamming the door.

"ERRRRRGH! I will get you! Mark my words, MARK THEM!" she sneered getting in the back.

"Say Zeke, what would be the best route to get from here to the museum if I say-oh, wanted to hit every road bump, and construction site?" Two-Face asked

"Lombard Street in San Francisco, go already, eh?" Scarecrow rushed

"Alright-alright, I'll just take Corbin Boulevard, they're always working, ha-ha." they got under way, Ivy was just sitting there, arms crossed being tossed about every which way in the back of the van. "Having fun Iz? Hmm-hmm-hmm, cause I know I am." Two-Face chuckled.

Meanwhile Mayor Hill was at the museum exhibit commending Trent Wayne of obtaining the egg.

"This is a fine exhibit Mr. Wayne, I'm quite impressed."

"Thank you Mayor Hill, you know this egg wasn't easy to obtain, it's a rare Faberge crystal egg from the Han dynasty."

"Amazing, where ever did you find it?" Hill asked

"...Malaysia."

"Oh, exotic; however, I grow wary of this security system you've set up. You know the museum is a prime target for thefts, and with all the costumed nut-jobs running around, you can't be too careful." Hill warned

"I know what you mean sir, I hardly feel safe in my own mansion anymore." Trent joked

"Which is why I'm proposing the new Security Bill, to up the ante on these costumed freaks sorta speak, I even plan on deputizing Batman and his crew in the coming year."

"Well...that might work." Trent pondered.

"I'm sure whatever the case, the system will handle the artifacts, were closing soon, join me for dinner Mr. Wayne?"

"Oh I can't I have some work things to handle at home, you know; some other time mayor."

Trent walked to a clearing and starred into his Bat-Watch, which was also a video communicator. At the Bat-Computer sat Robin with Nightwing close by.

"Any news on our greedy friend?"

"No sorry Trent, and we've been combing the entire city." Robin said

"Yeah, besides it's not like this guy will give us some sort of-"

"_CLUE! Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" came Gray Goblin disrupting the camera feed on the computer, Trent listened in._

"The Gray Goblin?" Nightwing asked

"Alright Boyle, where's Batgirl?" Robin asked. Gray turned from the camera and pointed it at a gagged and tied up Batgirl.

"_Shes right here fellas, and if you want her, you're gonna have to pay handsomely for her, remember, nothing with me is ever free. Maybe the lady bat could make me a nice lady goblin." he chuckled stroking her ponytail. Batgirl grimaced at the very sight_

"Where have you brought her you fiend!" Trent asked using the Batman voice

"_Is that old Batzy I hear? Listen to me Batman, I'm going to have some more fun with little Batgirl for a little while longer, I'll give you more details later, K?" the transmission ended, and Trent came back on._

"That's it." Robin sighed

"Nah, don't count your eggs before they hatch little bro, it looked like she was in a warehouse of somesort-"

"Chicks."

"Pardon?"

"The saying goes, don't count your chicks before they hatch."

"Ugh, whatever. Trent point is, we'll all go searching tonight, sound good?" Nightwing asked

"I'm on my way home right now."

The museum was locked up for the night. And it seemed like there would be no major disturbances for the evening...[crash]-not! Two-Face negligently crashed into a parking meter in front of the museum.

"Al, you just hit a parking meter." Catwoman said

"Cobblepot can take it out of my paycheck." Two-Face said with no emotion. "Enjoy your ride Izzy?" he asked looking bad at the pissed off Ivy

"Errrgh, stupid little, ergh." she groaned teeth grit. They exited the van and walked towards the front door.

"Okay, door locked, anyone wanna have a go at it?" Catwoman asked

"Allow me sexy kitty." Ivy approached the door. "Watch the master at work, these babies will knock off any lock...or former District Attorneys."

"ERRRRRRGH." Two-Face sneered flipping the coin.

Ivy put several seeds in the lock, they expanded into vines, which exploded the lock, and the door opened.

"After you villains." she let them all walk in "Psych-[slam]"

"Ugh!" she slammed it right in Two-Face's...Two-Face. "Grrrrrrr...good heads I leave her alone, bad heads I shoot her in her smug little face-[plink-slam]-OW!" Ivy opened the door and hit him again.

"Let's go lazy bones, we don't have all night!"

"Grrrrr." he picked up his coin, good heads. "Sh*t."

Meanwhile in the Batmobile, Batman began his search. While Robin and Nightwing searched elsewhere.

"Alright, I'll start searching in midtown, you guys start North and South." Batman ordered

"_You got it boss."_

"_No probs Trent."_

"Alright, better get s-"

"_Attention, silent arlarm tripped at Gotham Museum." the police dispatcher said_

"Damn...well, I'm not too far, and that egg wasn't easy to find...Gotta thank Ra's Al Ghul for that one." And Batman raced for the museum. Where Meanwhile, Gray was starring intently at Batgirl, who was trying to sleep.

"Hmm?"

"So...Now that I have the famous Batgirl at my mercy...might as well see as to who you are-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm." Gray walked over to her

"Mjhmhmjmhmnmhmm!" she muffled kicking and trying to flail her arms.

"Now...let's see the true identity of the lady bat. My lady bat." he took off her cowl.

**To Be Continued! PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Cartoongal: I NEED MORE PLEEEEEEASE =)  
**


	52. Birds of a Feather, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Bridgette cringed knowing she was exposed...Gray however, looked at her puzzled.

"Hmm...I don't think I know you."

"Whew."

"In fact I'm almost certain...but I never forget a face. I'll know who you are eventually Batgirl, here, have your stupid cowl back. All I have to now is collect my ransom, and I know, they'll pay handsomely-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha."

"You'll...you'll never getaway with it Gray Goblin, they'll find you...I know it."

"Oh, but that's what I'm counting on my lovely captive, how else will I collect your ransom money, hmm? Rest assured Batgirl, I will get my money and I will discover you're true identity, and when I do-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm, Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-Aha-aha-aha-aha!" Gray cackled. Seriously doesn't Mark Hamill have the greatest villain laugh ever or is it just me?

Anywhose, we go back to the FUTURE, no I keed I really mean the museum. Scarecrow had gotten the guards taken care of with his fear toxin.

"AHHHHHH!"

"SO SCARY!"

"OH DEAR GOD!"

Poison Ivy had gotten the security beams taken care of. Now all that was left was to actually steal the egg. The glass case was on the otherside of a laser grid. The glass was most likely armed.

"Alright, Good heads we use the stealthy approach, bad heads, direct approach-[plink]"

"Yeah yeah get real faces, no one has time for that." Catwoman said taking the coin in mid air.

"Alright then Gwen, what do you suggest?" he fumed

"Stealthy of course...don't blink kiddies, and watch the master at work."

"This ought to be good, eh." Scarecrow said crossing his arms.

You ever seen Get Smart the movie? Ya know what I mean, the part where 99 and Max gotta get through the laser grid and they do it in two totally comically different ways? Yeah picture that, but here.

Catwoman used a variety of gymnastic type moves to get through each laser. She looked oh soooo good in the tight cat suit. Seriously I wish I could animate this and it's really pissing me off that I can't. Eventually she got to the glass case.

"Okay, I admit, I'm impressed." Scarecrow marveled

"Eh, good enough." Two-Face shrugged

"Okay feel free to say no..but can I just f*ck you right now?" Ivy asked, she immediately got those kinds of looks. "Sorry, didn't write this...but that is something I would say."

"Look just stay put so I can cut this glass okay?" Catwoman said getting right to work.

She took out a glass cutter, and carefully cut a circular hole in the middle of the glass. Then like Indy, she took out a bag of sand...yes it is very cliché, you wanna write this? Anyway she did a quick switch, everyone whewed when it was all done.

"Alright, like I said...-"

"Piece of cake?"

"GASP." Came Batman from a hiding place above a column interrupting their triumph.

"You." Catwoman smirked

"Oh come on!" what? Ha-ha "Every. Freakin. Time!" Two-Face bellowed "I am so sick of you!" Batman jumped to the floor.

"Yes, cause your faces really brightens up my day."

"Not in for your puns Batman-[plink]...And the coin says you lose."

"Uh, no it doesn't, it landed good heads u-"

"Well Zeke let's pretend that it did, okay?" He fumed

"Uh, okay."

"Hey, guys, dark knight here, gonna send us back to the nut-nut farm if we don't STOP HIM." Ivy yelled.

"Oh right." the two said in unison.

"Eat mimes Batman!" Scarecrow fired, just missing Batman and hitting Ivy.

"Ah! Crane you idiot!"

"Oops."

"Hmm...no-no Scarecrow this is good, I wonder what Poison Ivy's greatest fear is..." Two-Face smirked

"Uh...No...No...NOOOOOOO! Not the forest! Why...WHY...CURSE YOU RICHARD NIXON! CUSE YOU!" she fell to her knees. "Nooooo...nooooo...nooooooooo...It's okay my babies, I'll get you into some water, and everything will be o...NOOOOO, it disintegrated! WHYYYYY!"

"Richard Nixon burning a beautiful forest of course, gotta phobia for that one Crane?" Two-Face asked

"Hmm, nope I don-hey!" while they weren't paying attention Batman managed to tie the two up.

"Oh nice going moron."

"ME! This is all your fault, Mr. District Attorney!"

"That job is dead to me."

Batman walked over to the sobbing Ivy on the ground and simply put a pair of bat-cuffs on her. She was in the fetal position.

"I doubt you're going anywhere." he said. He then heard Catwoman from the rafters of the second level.

"Yo-hoo, oh Batzy."

"Grrrrr."

"Catch me if you can!" she disappeared

"Oh come on Catwoman!"

"So not fair! I'll never get my diamond now, eh!" Just as Bullock and the police barged in

"GOTHAM PD!"

"Nobody move!"

"Gasp, Batman!"

"It's Batman!" they just got a glimpse of him, cause Batman swung up to the second level following his little kitty.

"...Good luck freak." Chef muttered.

Batman swung up into the upper exhibits looking for Catwoman.

"Catwoman...here kitty-kitty-"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha." he heard her snicker behind him, but disappeared when he turned around.

"Gwen this isn't a game! What use would you have for some egg anyhow...unless-"

"Ha-ha, it's not for me cutie."

"Right, you just wanna sell it and collect all the money, and screw your three co-thwarts being arrested downstairs right?"

"Well done detective-"

"Don't call me that please."

"Why-"

"Just trust me Gwen! Trust me." Suddenly his Bat-Watch got a call, guess who? Well come on, guess...

"_Ello Batzy!"_

"Goblin, what now?" Batman asked looking around for Gwen.

"_That's Gray Goblin Bat-Man. Anyway, I've unmasked you're lady bat and-"_

"_I'm_ sorry, are you eating a pizza?"

"_Yeah, Dominos, gotta sweet deal Too."_

"And you got it delivered?"

"_Yeah...too bad the delivery boy is far too disoriented to remember where my secret lair is-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah! Anyway, I unmasked you're lady bat...fortunately for you and her...I, don't know who she is-But rest assured! I will find out who she is...mark my words Batzy, and uh...get a handsom man's __ransom ready, an would you be so kind as to gift wrap it for me, that's be real nice-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" _the transmission ended.

"That. Son. Of. A.-"

"Bitch?" Came Catwoman from atop the skylight. "You know good looking you really should watch learn to multi-task, ta-ta Batman!" she closed the door.

"Sigh." Batman shook his head and rose up to the ceiling. He crashed through onto the roof.

"Oh...you do work fast-[whi-crack]-so do I!" she said readying her whip.

"Gwen I so don't have any time for this, just gimme the damn egg I got other more important work to do."

"Oh sure, like I'm just gonna drop the egg juct cause-[mmmhmmnmhmnmhmmn]" with no warning at all Batman planted a big old kiss right on her lips.

"There, happy?"

"Huh...what...I knew you cared."

"Yeah-[click]" he slapped a pair of Bat-cuffs on her. He grabbed the egg, as a police helicopter headed for the roof.

"This is the police! Nobody move, nobody move!" Catwoman was too smitten to do just that, Batman on the other hand headed back for the first floor with the egg.

"Here you go Bullock, make sure it get's back in the case." Batman said

"Sure, no problem, have any idea who these freaks were fencing this for?" he asked holding the egg

"I think I have an idea, and I belive him not having the egg will be more of a punishment then prison."

"Well whoever it is Bats they sure have..." Chef looked up to see Batman disappear...again "One day Cowl Head...one day."

Penguin sat in his office waiting for his egg. So excited he was, that he forgot to have any food in his mouth.

"Oh boy, sure can't wait to have the last of the rare Faberge eggs to complete my coll-"

"Don't bet on it Cobblepot."

"Huh, you!"

"Yeah, about the egg you wanted Poison Ivy, Catwoman, Scarecrow, and Two-Face to steal...well, let's just say, better luck next time, since I can't pin this on you what I can do is have the satisfaction of you not getting that egg, good day Owen." Batman promptly left, and the overweight club manager fell to his knees sobbing.

"WHYYYYYYYY! WHYYYYYYYY!" Meanwhile in the Batmobile.

"_Hey Trent, you're wanted at Arkham, Scarecrow tried to escape the police, don't worry I got him." Robin said over transmission._

"And you can't handle this on your own because?"

"_Cause get this, they're letting Harley Quinn out!"_

"What?"

"_Yeah shes apparently sane or, something close to that, but about the Gray Goblin, I don't have much for you."_

"I'll be right over, and I don't think we need to worry about him and Bridgette right now."

"_Why do you say that?"_

"Oh, just a feeling, I'll be right over."

**THE END**

Alright guys glad you just freaking loved it! We got Harley's Holiday up next, lot of comedy I know you guys will enjoy that. Uh, yeah PLEASE REVIEW! And get ready for Frozen Solid, which will conclude the Gray Goblin saga for now, don't worry he'll be back in the Trial episode, which is our Season 3 finale. Cartoongal just keep it up, and uh-yeah, still got Bane, the Ventriloquist and Red Claw before we finish up season 3, stay tuned!

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Robin

**Dan Petronijevic: **Nightwing

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Penguin

**Katie Crown: **Poison Ivy

**Peter Oldring: **Scarecrow

**Marco Grazzini: **Two-Face

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Catwoman

**Mark Hamill: **Gray Goblin, guards

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill

**Billy West: **police

**Kevin Michael Richardson: **police

**Mae Whitman: **police

GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!


	53. Harley's Holiday, Part I

**Villain(s): Harley Quinn, Boxy Bennett**

**Episode Rewrite: Harley's Holiday (1995)**

**Written By: Paul Dini**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 26: Harley's Holiday**

At Arkham, Lindsay sat in doctor Joan Leland's office, ready to hear the good news ahead of her. Little did she know of what tomorrow would bring. If only she knew...I DOOOO!

"You've made wonderful progress Harley, and I'm happy to say tomorrow you'll be released, mentally sane and sound-"

"WHOOPIE! Yay-yay-yay-yay!" The ditz danced around crazily. Mentally sane, HA! "Uh I mean thank you Dr. Leland."

"That's okay, you have every right to be excited." -

"Unhand me!" came Ezekiel's voice from outside.

"I just the other inmates were making your kind of progress." Batman and Robin were escorting the deranged psycho down the hall.

"I am the master of fear, the lord of despair, cower before me in witless terror!" he shouted, they stopped in front of the office door.

"Hi professor Crane!" Lindsey waved

"Good evening child-Worship me fools! Worship me! I want my lawyer eh! I want my diamond! I want some damn respect eh!"

"I think he's getting better." Robin commented. the guards escorted him away. Batman turned to Lindsey.

"I hear you're getting out tomorrow."

"Yeah, you gotta a problem with that?" she asked trying to be tough. She cringed a little when Batman offered his hand for a shake.

"Congratulations."

"Yeah yeah whatever, so I made afew...okay a lot of mistakes in my life, I got my head back together and gonna stay out of trouble." Yeah, cause you were sooooooo together before. Anyway she noticed it hard to getaway from Batman's grip.

"For your sake I hope so." Batman said. He and Robin walked away. Most likely looking for the Gray Goblin.

"I'll show ya! Starting tomorrow you'll see I'm just as sane as anyone!"

-**The Next Day-**

"Oh my God!"

"Dear Lord!"

"What the hell!"

"Getaway from them!"

Ahhhh!"

Sane my ass, Lindsey was rollerblading down the shopping district while walking her hyaenas Bud and Lou. She was wearing a tied up midriff and red booty shorts, while chewing gum. Anyway she stopped to see all the people behind her look all distraught, not noticing Bud and Lou eating someones groceries that they dropped.

"Gee what's wrong with them?" the dumbass asked. She used the nearest window to use as a mirror. "I knew I shouldn't have worn this, it's so out of style it's growing mold. Oh I probably look so stupid." I think shes made a breakthrough! Anyway she looked up to see the sale sign over the department store.

"Yay! Finally I can do some real shopping, come with me babies!" she said.

Inside Trent Wayne was trying on suits, he was on a date with Veronica Vreeland, his current girlfriend. She was a very rich redhead, who was as shallow as a grave.

"I love it!"

"That makes one of us." Trent rolled his eyes taking the sports coat off.

"Really Trent, a man of your social status needs a woman like me to keep you in the latest trends, who dresses you anyway, Alfred?" The billionaire blushed.

"Uh, well-look, ties!"

"Oh they look great, wait right here I'll pick you out a few." she walked away.

"Whew."

Elsewhere in the store Lindsey was looking at sundresses and blouses. The store manager walked over to her after seeing Bud and Lou quarrel over a rib bone.

"Excuse me miss, you can't bring those things in here!" she bellowed

"Oh it's okay, don't worry, they're house broken." Lindsey said She picked out a nice pink sundress on sale and headed for the register. She walked Bud and Lou with her, only for them to get weird looks, surprise surprise. The stopped in front of Trent, and started to bark and cackle uncontrollably.

"Grrrrrrrrr!"

"GRRRRRR!"

"Hey-hey, no...no, I'm so sorry I've never seen them do that before..." she studied Trent "Hey, don't I know you?"

"I-I don't think so." Lindsey covered up his face

"Hmm...something about that chin-I got it you're-" BATMAN "-Trent Wayne, the boy billionaire!" Dumbass. "Yum, unattached I see." she got around his arm

"Ah-hem, may I help you miss?" an angered Veronica asked

"Uh-oh, enter the jealous girlfriend...Hey remember me, that big charity bash you threw, the one the Joker robbed? I was the clown girl holding the gun on ya!" GREAT way to make friends you idiot. "Aw don't worry, I'm over the whole crime thing, see?" she held up her rehab papers...she even spelled her own name wrong. "I'm rehabilitated, and ready to live my life right."

"How nice for you, bye, let's go Trent." she hurried him along.

"Gee you make one little mistake and they never let you forget it." she said placing her sundress on the counter, the manager rang her up.

"I just wanna live a normal life, that's not so much to ask, right?" Lindsey asked putting the exact change on the table.

"No I guess not." the manager went to remove the security tag, when Lindsey simply took it "Miss, wait!" Lindsey went for the exit still talking to herself.

"I just wanna live a normal life without some cop always pouncing on me-[briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing]" the passed the security gate, of course the alarm went off.

"Hey what's the deal?" she blonde asked disgruntled.

"It's the security tag, it set off the alarm." the guard said

"No, it's my dress I paid for it fair and square!" Lindsey defended taking an arm off a store mannequin.

"I know, just let me remove the security tag and you can-"

No way-[thwak]"

"Unh!"

"You're not taking me back to the slammer John Law!" Lindsey yelled, she fled into the deaprtment store. This left the guard to defend himself from Bud and Lou, this included even breaking open the window. Trent and Veronica noticed this as they got into Trent's car.

"What in the world?"

"Stay here!" Trent ordered. He dashed to the register manager. "Where?"

"She ran into the changing room!" Trent ran into the changing rooms until he saw a the only door locked.

"Miaa, please come out, I'm sure this just a simple misunderstanding. You don't wanna mess things up on your first day out...miss?"-[slam]- "Unh!" The door flung open, and Trent hit the floor, and out popped an angry and insane Harley Quinn.

"I tried to be nice, I tried to play by the rules, but NO! They wouldn't let me go straight! Society is to blame!" She saw Trent try and help her with his smiley face. "Back off rich boy, I'm armed!" she said holding up the mannequin arm...ha-ha. Harley rollerbladed out of the store and stuffed Veronica right in the back of Trent's convertible.

"AHHHH-[thud]"

"Move over toots, I'm driving-oh darn it's a stick...I'm not very good with these...oh well.-[whistle] to Mommy!" she yelled. Bud and Lou jumped into the back with Veronica. She started the car up.

"Hold on!" Harley started the car up and got right on the wrong side of the road. Trent dashed out to see Harley go all GTA on his car. Anyway Harley ran Bullock of all people off the road and into the store wall. Let me just say Chef's car will be nothing but scrap by the end of this episode, adding to the stereotype that Harvey Bullock is a jinx when it comes to automobiles.

"Whoa-AHHHHHHH!" [CRASH]

"Oh-ho, you're gonna pay for that!" Chef yelled putting his police light on the top of his car. "Don't worry Mr. Wayne, you're car's in good hands, when Harvey Bullock is on the case!" Chef yelled driving away. Good hands my ass. Oh well good thing Trent has Allstate.

Meanwhile much later that afternoon, General Kort Vreeland, Veronica's father paced around in Commissioner Chris Gordon's office.

"So...Let me, get this straight Commissioner. You mean to tell me that, dumbass Trent Wayne allowed a crazy woman ina clown suit to kidnap my Veronica!" Yes!

"Wayne did what he could general Vreeland. And for what it's worth I don't think Harley Quinn means her any harm...sorta. Today's her first day out of Arkham and the threat of being sent back probably spooked her." Chris explained.

"Dammit Gordon I want answers not excuses! My daughter's in danger, I want helicopters, SWAT teams, full military backup-[splash]" in the midst of his rage the General spilled Chris's coffee. And hey, couldn't he provide the military backup anyhow

"Oh I'm sorry Chris, I just want my little girl back, if you could just give this old soldier a moment to compose himself." Gay

"Certainly sir, I have to gel my hair anyway." Chris took his leave, but just as he did. General Vreeland made a phone call. "Lieutenant, General Vreeland here, I'm calling a code red...No-no that's a code brown I said code red...Dumbass!"

Meanwhile racing down the street in the Batmobile, Batman and Robin went in search for Harley and Veronica.

"Sounds like Harley wasted no time getting into trouble." Robin guessed

"Shes good at that." they stopped at a red light...K how awkward would it be to be next to that thing at a traffic stop? "Still, I think she really wanted to do good this time."

"Yeah-yeah." Robin looked at the tracking map for the car. For situations just like this Trent had traced all his vehicles. "According to the scanner your car should be right-here."

Harley whizzed through the intersection, with Bullock hot on her trail."

"Uh-oh." The two went after them.

The Batmobile went right passed Chef's crappy car, Chef of course wasn't pleased. Batman gotcloser and closer.

"Please Ms. Clown." Veronica begged

"Call me Harley, everyone does."

"Please Harley, please let me go, I'm rich, I can pay you whatever you want." Harley scoffed and pushed her back. She then saw the Batmobile inch up to the side of the car. "Oh great!" Batman rolled down the windows.

"Hiya B-man, wanna race?" she asked

"Quinn! Stop the car, now!"

"No way!"

"We just wanna help." Robin added

"Oh sure like you helped poor professor Crane last night, and the others. Sorry boys, you're not taking me back to Arkham." Harley insisted.

She was about to pass a semi making a wide turn.

"Hold on!"

"AHHHHHHH!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" The Batmobile and convertible glided under the wheels as they were short enough, Chef on the other hand

"Ha, I gotcha now you little-huh...Aw cra-[crash]" his roof got completely taken off. The truck driver ran from the truck just as it keeled over and exploded [KA-BOOM] yeah like that. Chef knocked into a fire hydrant, and his "new" convertible got filled with water...then immediately stalled.

"FUUUUUUUUUCK!" Oh don't worry Chef, it only gets worse. "I'm gonna get that little cook if it's the last thing I ever do!" he said just as his airbag activated

I can arrange that, anyway we go back to the Batmobile which lost sight of Trent's car. Robin checked the scanner

"Shes headed for the south side."

"Probably to someone who can hide her until the heat dies down." Batman assumed.

Harley would go to who else but Boxy Bennett. The same gangster from the Harlequinade episode. Since his last club failed he moved onto another venue...a crappy fish market. Yup, cops'll never lok there.

"Last time I saw you, you not only ruined my club." he took out a gun. "But brought the freakin' Batman down on me as well! Gimme one good reason I do not dust you right now?"

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Cartoongal11: Come onnnnnnnnnnn! You can't just leave me hanging like that! Still, good job though. **


	54. Harley's Holiday, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

To everyone's surprise, Harley gave him a full on kiss. It was so good, Boxy quickly concealed his gun.

"I'll buy that."

"No sweat toots, Boxy will take care of us." Harley whispered to Veronica.

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of." she said, she noticed the gangsters surround her with the look, as Harley cartwheeled towards Boxy. "Wait, Harley; don't leave me!"

"So, how soon can you sneak me out of town?" Harley asked

"Leave us not be hasty, we gotta friendship to renew, and Ms. Money-Bags to ransom off." Veronica shrugged not hearing the conversation. Harley just waved at her nervously.

"Oh no, we can't do that." she walked back over "See, it's kinda my fault shes in this mess in the first place, as soon as I'm gone she goes back safe and sound." Veronica smiled. Boxy did not.

"I'm calling the shots here sugar, anyone that thinks different has to go through me, got it?"

"Got it." Came Batman's voice as he entered the fish market.

"Gasp!" Veronica gasped like she was the cute girl being saved by the clandestine hero-wait a minute that is kinda what's happening here. Boxy drew his gun, so did the other gangsters.

"You've stuck your cape into my business for the last time-[fish slap]" Boxy was knocked to the floor by a flying fish, flung by Robin.

"Well what do ya know, Joker was right, they are naturally low in cholesterol, and naturally high in ass kicking." he said grabbing another fish.

"Take em boys!" Boxy ordered.

Two of the gangsters went right for Batman, using wooden poles, what is this Javelin practice? The others went after robin through the rows of fish counters. Robin knocked one over right onto two gangsters firing at him.

Meanwhile, It seemed as though Batman had everything under control on his end, the other two gangsters seemed to be subdued, Veronica was so excited she ran over to him.

"Were safe, thank goodness!" Boxy managed to get to his feet and grab her. "Ah!"

"Back off freak, or the dames hist-[Slap!]" Harley fish slapped him to the floor.

"Get yer own hostage bub!" she grabbed Veronica.

Batman and Robin continued to nail the henchmen, Batman with the broken pole, while Robin used two fish as nun-chucks to knock out his competitors. Where as Harley and Veronica ran to the shipping area in the back and came face to face with a large man with a hook. Harley got out her popgun, which had only one round-[pop] Direct hit. Boxy appeared from behind them, with his gun.

"Sorry doll, as we gamblers say, you just crapped out. Any last words?" Boxy asked

"Eh, just one: BABIES!" Harley yelled. Suddenly Bud and Lou dashed through the wall and attacked Bennett.

"GRRRRRR!"

GRRRRR!"

"What the-AH!"

"Play nice with your new chew toy." Harley mocked. The two ran outside towards Trent's car, to getaway, again. With the two chewing his pants, Bennett was able to make it to a fish delivery truck and drive off.

"Hey, Harley...and Veronica, they're gone!"

"So is Bennett." Batman added

"Oh no, not again!"

Harley and Veronica headed towards the East Borough bridge, not saying a word for the first few minutes.

"Did you mean what you said back there, you know about, letting go?"

"Sure, you're a good kid, and I uh...ha-ha can't help but feel a little responsible for all of this." Harley said

"No kidding." aw, she hurt Her feelings. "Uh, so...what will happen to you?" Veronica asked to lighten the mood.

"If I'm lucky, I'll get out of town before Bats hauls my butt back to the bin."

"Couldn't you just explain this is all just a misunderstanding?"

"Ha! With my past, I hardly believe it myself."

"...Look, let's make a deal Harley, you get me out of this alive, and I'll drop all the charges."

"Really? Damn you're alright toots, for the first time today, I think things are really looking up-[BOOM]"

Suddenly a giant blast came from in front of them. It was the General but in an Abrams tank.

"Daddy!" Veronica yelped

"Daddy? Oi!"

"You in the car, release your hostage immediately!" he ordered. Harley quickly turned around and headed back. The tank gained speed. Okay here's what I don't get, he continues to shoot this car, with his daughter in it? Paul, where was the sense in that? Where?

"Hey, what are you doing, that's my father!"

"No, that's your father, IN A TANK!" The two passed Bennett, who decided to do a quick U and follow them.

"Oh no you don't!" he said. Then the general ordered the tank off the freeway, immediately, and they rode down the hill and back onto the main street, crushing several cars along the way.

Meanwhile Chef had made some necessary repairs to his car, which was still filling up with water from the hydrant, when he got a call from Gordon over the police scanner.

"There good as new...well, sorta. Nothing a little crazy glue and duct tape can't fix-"

"_Attention all units, suspect Quinn is headed for Gotham City Square, all any available units please respond, over." _Bullock wasted no time.

Cut scene to the Bat-Mobile

"You here that?" Robin asked pointing to the scanner

"Yeah-" Suddenly the got another call.

"_Batman, it's been forever it seems, how are ya champ?"_

"Not now Boyle! Were in a -"

"_Not now, that's no way to treat the man who has your sidekick, tell me, what's more fun then a bat upside down?" Gray asked_

"Uh, I don't know?"

"_A Bat-GIRL upside down-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah! But I grow wary of her, I'll have my ransom demands post haste, ta-ta Bats I'm gonna have some more fun with her, let's see how old Bat-girl likes a little educational television! Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" end transmission._

"We'll deal with him later, right now we-"

"Batman, look!" they approached the city square and Harley almost ran right into them.

"Oh great." the clown princess of crime turned around and headed right into the middle of the square, with the General, Boxy, and Bullock closing in.

"Gotcha now!" -

"You screwy little-"

"Trouble making clown!"

Oh you'll love this, they just collide right into the car! Again, good thing Trent has Allstate. But seriously Paul? I mean...Why? This makes no sense at all!

"V-Veronica?" the general asked fearing the worst. He and Batman approached the wreck. When suddenly

"Hey Bird Boy, look alive!"

"Whoa!" Harley dropped Veronica, who landed in Robin's perfectly capable hands. she had launched a grappling hook at the last minute.

"Well that's my good deed for the day, BYEEEEE!" she floated up

"Wait! Get Bennett, I'll go after Quinn." Batman ordered. Speaking of which, Boxy tried to getaway, but got tied by Robin.

"My little girl, I was so worried." The General gave her a hug

"I've noticed."

"Leaving so soon Boxy?"

"You got nothing on me!" a soaking wet Bullock picked him up

"I'm sure I can find something, move it!"

Batman walked up on billboard covered roof in search of Harley.

"You don't know when to quit do you?" she asked from out of nowhere

"Listen to me, all the work you've done, your freedom, if you run now you'll lose them Harley. You're so close to winning back your real life. Why risk it now? WHY?" suddenly she jumped from behind a billboard and tried to kick Batman, to no avail.

"I'm having a bad day! I'm sick of people trying to shoot me, run me over, and blow me up!" And here's the sad part, that's just today, it's only episode 26, and she ain't going nowhere. Harley escaped his grasp and leaped onto another billboard platform. Oh you guys will love this, my favorite Harley quote.

"I didn't even get to keep my new dress...and I ACTUALLY PAID FOR IT!"

Oh...My...GOD I'll alert the freaking media...Yes hello media, hi this is Nick Durdan, you know that kid you've never heard of? Well have I got a story for you...Local mad woman pays for dress...what?

That's not a story? Hang up? Harley's an idiot? Well be that as it may, I think that is very rude to say about other people, good day sir...I SAID GOOD DAY SIR! Well, I showed him I did.

Batman leaped after her and he did a face plant into a neon sign, ouch. Harley jumped onto the ladder and climbed taking out a Joker-grenade...Now with 30% more boom.

"I tried to be good, I really did, but if that's how it has to be, then fine! Let's get back to basics!" She pulled the pin, and Batman was quick to throw a batarang and knock it out of her hands. The grenade tumbled in the center of the sign, blowing it up beneath her.

"AHHHHHHH!"

"Harley fell and managed to grab onto the Coca Cola sign, a giant moveable straw.

"Talk about grasping at straws, oh well, at least I'm going out on a joke." it snapped.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Of course Batman was there to grab her, and pull Harley back to safety. "I think I made a mess on your cape."

A handcuffed Lindsey was brought into Arkham, they passed doctor Leland.

"Home again home again, jiggity-jig." Harley sighed

"Not for too long though, Ms. Vreeland dropped the kidnapping charges, with a little more hard work, you'll be ready to enter society for good." Leland said removing her handcuffs.

"Yay, there's just one thing, why'd ya stay with me, risking your butt for someone whose never given ya anything but trouble?"

"I know what it's like to rebuild a mind." Batman said taking out her sundress. "I had a bad day too, once."

"Oh...B-man, nice guys like you shouldn't have bad days." she said giving him a quick kiss. But Lindsey had a better idea, she tossed the dress aside and gave Bats a big old smooch -YEAH BUDDY!

"Mhnmhmnmhmnmhmmnnmm-mwah! Call me."

"Don't push your luck-"

"Uh, Batman, hate to interrupt but." Robin pointed to the window, the Bat-Signal was lit.

"Must be Chris, he probably got a demand from The Gray Goblin, come on!" they ran off.

"I'll still wait for you Batman." she walked passed Izzy's cell, who witnessed the whole thing. "Eh, what are you looking at?" the crazy redhead only smiled.

**THE END!**

**Alright guys, Frozen Solid up next, and that will be the last we see of Mr. Ferris Boyle until the season finale. Don't forget we still got The Ventriloquist, Bane, and Red Claw still to come. PLEASE REVIEW, and Cartoongal: keep it up please =)**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Robin

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Harley Quinn

**Jennifer Hale: **Veronica Vreeland, additional voices

**Cree Summer: **Manager, various

**James Arnold Taylor: **Boxy Bennett, various

**Kurtwood Smith: **General Vreeland

**Frank Welker: **Bud and Lou, Various people

**Peter Oldring: **Scarecrow

**Jess Harnell: **Additional Voices

**Suzanne Stone: **Doctor Joan Leland, additional voices


	55. Frozen Solid, Part I

**Villain(s): The Gray Goblin, Mr. Freeze, Catwoman**

**Episode Archive: ORIGINAL!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Tom Ruegger**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini&Bruce W. Timm**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting By: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 27: Frozen Solid**

Batman and Robin met Nightwing atop The Police building with Chris Gordon.

"Boyle dropped this on the front entrance a few minutes ago." Chris said holding up a-

"Tape recorder?" Nightwing asked

"I know, Bullock and I were just talking about that. What a tight wad." Chris pressed play.

"_Ugh, how do you work this stupid piece of junk? ...Hey Batgirl, does the red light mean it's recording? I don't know I threw out the instruction manual-Oh, flip me off why don't you, stupid cunt! ...Oh sorry, forgot were still a kids show. How weird, Butch isn't doing the teleplay is he? Who is...Paul and Bruce? No...No Freaking way! Oh my God, this is rich nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah! Alright, hello Batman, bat-friends, Commissioner. I have Batgirl at my disposal, and if the following items are not brought to 117 Cherry street in one hour, she will die...I want...Ooh this is fun, my first ransom." Gray continued to babble, everyone rolled their eyes. "Okay, $3,000,000 cash, 100 dollar bills, no exceptions, also, I want Tyler Fries and Gwen Kyle, that's it, better hurry, cause the clocks a ticking-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm...Okay, how do I end this-" _Chris stopped the recording.

"That's uh...well that's all the important information, the other 37 minutes he pretty much goes on a rant on why he can't shut the damn thing off, it actually gets kinda entertaining." Chris explained.

"Wait, 117 Cherry street, isn't that-"

"The criminal confiscated weapons warehouse." Batman said finishing Robin's sentence.'

"We can provide the money for the sting no problem." Chris began "That hard part will be getting Fries and Kyle."

"I doubt it, I'm an Arkham frequent shopper." Batman smirked. "Have the cash ready when I return Commissioner, I'll be right back."

"Okay, who wants to help old Chris count 3 mill-" he noticed the other two had vanished "I figured as much." The Commissioner turned off the Bat-Signal and got to work.

Batman returned to Arkham Asylum and was quickly greeted by a familiar face.

"Dr. Bartholomew."

"Batman, I must have just missed you, Dr. Leland said you and Robin were here. I heard Harley had herself one heck of a day."

"Yes, but I'm not here for her, and I have little time."

"Oh?" the doctor followed him

"I need Tyler Fries, and Gwendolyn Kyle asap."

"For...?"

"Don't worry they'll be back soon, a mad man wants them as part of a ransom, if my plan goes as planned, I can have them back in their cells in a few hours."

"Well I'm sure Ms. Kyle will be eager so long as it involves you, but uh, good luck getting Mr. Freeze, Tyler doesn't want anything to do with the world since his wife's chryogenic freezer was moved to his cell." Bartholomew explained.

"Oh?"

"Yeah the police let him continue with his research, we believe he'll find some closure if he can revive her."

"That maybe true, but no better pleasure would come to Tyler, then watching justice coming to the man who made him the man he is today."

"Ferris Boyle?"

"Yes, or how he likes to go by now: The Gray Goblin, he's the one who wants Tyler and Gwen."

"Interesting...you sure you know what you're doing on this one?"

"Of course." they approached Tyler's cell.

"[knock-knock-knock] Tyler?"

"Yes, who is i-ow-dammit."

"It's Doctor Bartholomew, and I brought a friend."

"Hey it's your asylum doc, no need for permission to enter." they opened the door. Entering the freezing cold cell "But make it quick won't you I'm very bus-ow...you." Tyler was trying to research while hackey-sacking, and failing at both.

"Hello Tyler."

"Humph, haven't you done me enough "help" lately Batman?"

"Tyler, what if I told you, you; were about to embark on a mission to save a certain person from certain danger?" Batman asked using a movie voice.

"Ha...no thanks, the only person I care about in this world is my lovely wife, and now I finally have her back, I'm doing nobody, anymore favors, so don't even try coaxing me Bats, there is no way-NO WAY I'm gonna he-"

"What if I told you I would be bringing Ferris Boyle to justice?" Batman asked

"...Go on." Tyler put his notes down.

"Look, he's insane, he's more greedy then ever, and he's putting anyone's life in danger, help me, and I'll put him away here, forever."

"Promise?"

"Well...we can let the courts decide, but I'll do my part."

"Hmm, alright; I'm in, just let me give my dear wife a kiss goodbye."

"Sure."

Later, the three entered the Girls Wing, Lindsey was bragging about her kiss from Batman.

"No really, I totally smooched him, right Red, you were there, tell em."

"What can I say, old Linds gave Bats the good stuff." Izzy agreed. "Sigh, how I wish she would gove me the good stuff."

"HA! I can't believe you would kiss my Batman Harley! How dare you, he's mine! Mine you hear me, MINE!" Gwen fumed.

"Well, I enjoy both sexes Gwenny, but I must admit, I gave Bats a couple of smooches over time." Izzy said proudly

"WHAT!"

"Sorry Honey, but that's how I makes my livings."

"Gasp! Izzy, you're...you're gay?" Lindsey asked

"Bi...but I thought you knew...we lived together for weeks, I must have made like a zillion passes at you."

"Uh-no!"

"Oh...Well, surprise, I'm bi!"

"Okay, thanks for telling me bestie!"

"Ugh, you're hopeless." Gwen did a face palm.

"Yeah, but shes my hopeless...my sexy-sexy hopeless." Izzy cooed.

"Ha, sorry ladies, all three of you are wrong." Came Heather's voice.

"Huh?" the three girls asked

"That's right, my beloved loves me the best, he said so himself." No he didn't. "Shut-up. But anyway, were destined to be married, and then I'll bear his kids, and-"

"Wow, new girl's reeeeeeeally crazy." Lindsey said "I should know, I was a doctor...or was I a psychiatrist?"

"Hey! New girl has a name, and it's Heather Al Ghul dammit!"

"Okay, nice to meet you Heather Al Ghul dammit." Lindsey retorted

"Ugh, you are impossible!"

"You're all impossible." Came Batman's voice

"BATMAN!" Why can't girls give me an entrance like that?

"Hello crazies, I mean ladies, and to be exact, I have kissed all of you...but I love none of you, get it, however, I need Gwen."

"HA-FACE!" she said exiting her cell. Then wrapped herself around Batman's arms. "Whatcha need me for handsome." she then got dirty looks from the other girls.

"For a ransom." he said getting her off him.

"What?" Gwen asked

"Hey, you never said Gwen and I were gonna be ransom bait for Boyle." Tyler complained

"Gasp! Boyle...as in...Ferris Boyle?" Gwen asked

"Don't tell me the great Catwoman is really Chicken-woman." Fries joked

"No...of course not, c-come on, let's go."

"Alright then." Batman led them out.

"Good luck all." Dr. Bartholomew waved, he too exited from the opposite side of the wing.

"...Hmm-hmm-hmm, and then, there were three." Heather smirked.

Meanwhile the team suited up in an abandoned warehouse blocks from Gray's hideout.

"So, you sure this plan is full proof Batman?" Mr. Freeze asked

"Of course." he said closing the two suitcases filled with money. "Everything is gonna go over smooth as silk. Trust me."

"Alright cutie...sound puuuuuurfect." Catwoman said seductively.

"Uh Gwen, a little too close to the face there."

"Oh, uh-ha-ha, sorry." Mr. Freeze only rolled his eyes.

"Commissioner, is your team ready?" Batman asked

"_You bet, ready when you are Batman."_ Chris said over radio

"What about you two?" he asked Nightwing and Robin

"_Were good boss."_

"Excellent, alright; just stay cool."

The team approached the front entrance, and calmly entered the warehouse. On the second floor, Gray saw everything through a window. He turned to Batgirl.

"So, they did everything as I told them eh? And with minutes to spare, well done. So, Batzy; looks like MY genius plan is going according to...plan." he cupped her chin

"You'll...you'll never getaway with it Boyle." she turned away

"Oh Bats but that's where your wrong...I'm going to make the whole city see that, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." he left her. Meanwhile back on the main floor.

"Hello, Gray Goblin, I got your ransom." Batman called

"Good, just leave it all on the floor there." Gray instructed from out of sight.

"Alright, now what?" Batman asked

"Now, thank you Batman, your services are no longer, NEEDED!"

"What the-whoaaaa[thud]" Out of nowhere, one of Riddler's puzzle chains latched onto Batman pinning him against the wall.

"Hey, this wasn't according to plan!" Mr. Freeze yelled

"No, but it's part of my plan!" suddenly the lights turned on

"B-B-B-Boyle?"

"Surpriseeeeee-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! How will our heroes get out of this one you ask? Well, we'll find out right after a word from our sponsor, stay tuned."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**oooooh, they're in trouuuuuuble. As for you Cartoongal...WHYYYYY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! PLEEEEASE UPDATE! Okay stay tuned..**


	56. Frozen Solid, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Gray was situated inside the head, ha-ha, of a transformers like robot, optimus prime sized. Unfortunately, Mr. Freeze recognized the robot right away.

"Hey, isn't that the mega-freezing robot concept prototype I was working on while I was at Gothcorp? The one you said was a waste of time and money?" Mr. Freeze asked

"Well, what can I say, I don't have all the answers you know-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah! Besides, it'll make for the perfect irony." he used the robotic arms to grab the suitcases full of money.

"What do you mean by that?" Mr. Freeze asked [zeooooom] "HEY!" He used the freeze ray gun on the robot to freeze Mr. Freeze's legs and torso. "Oh, that irony."

"Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm." Gray chuckled "Just like you tried to do to me, on my most achieved evening."

"Riiiiiiiight, about that." Mr. Freeze chuckled nervously.

"Uh, what about me?" Catwoman asked

"YOU! You and that accursed Batgirl and the Batman, ruined me! So now I'm going to ruin you all too. Starting with you Bat...Man?" he looked to the wall to see a broken Riddle chain. "Oh crap."

"Crap! Doesn't even begin to say how screwed you are Boyle." Came Batman's voice from atop a stack of boxes, accompanied by his Bat-companions.

"Oh but you see Batzy this is the best part, you should have figured I would have a backup plan." he pressed a button on the robot, which vacuumed Catwoman and Mr. Freeze inside it's belly.

"Whoa, didn't see that coming." Robin gasped

"Likewise you won't see this coming either, right Batgirl?"

"What do you meeeeeeeeeeeean!" he vacuumed her in too.

"Batgirl!" Nightwing yelled

"Not again!"

"BUT WAIT! Don't touch that dial kiddies, the real show is still to come aha-ha!"

Suddenly the robot started to transform. Into a blimp, then the roof opened, and the blimp floated away. With Gray laughing all the way.

"Catch ya on the rebound bats! Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"No, I'm not losing her again!" Nightwing quickly launched a Batling hook and hit the cockpit of the blimp. He quickly climbed the rope.

"Nightwing wait!" Robin followed. Batman was a little too late.

"Great, well; at least there's more then one way to deal with this." He jumped off of the boxes and got over the radio. "Chris I need-"

"_WAIT! Don't tell me! Lemme guess, you need a chopper crew inbound asap to chase a transforming robotic blimp?"_

"Done yesterday!" Batman ordered.

"_Already in progress my friend, but uh...where will you be?"_

"Playing with one of my new toys...Batman out."

We now take you to just outside the blimp where Nightwing and Robin climbed the rope to the top.

"Hey Geoff!"

"Yeah Codemeister?"

"Have...have I ever told you how much I HATED heights!"

"I thought you absolutely hated defusing bombs?"

"Not since I took that bomb defusing class that Vin Diesel taught, it's as easy as snip-snip-sn-WHOA!" Robin nearly fell "Fact of the matter, I really don't like heights!"

"Well I'm sure you really don't like dying either, so just hang on and climb, innocent-sorta innocent lives are at stake here!"

"I know, I know!"

Inside the cockpit-ha-ha-Gray had set the course for auto pilot. He drew a small (and cheaply made) USP 40 pistol. He turned to his captives. Freeze was uh, well, frozen while Batgirl and Catwoman were tied by their wrists behind their backs.

"So, because I don't know who Batgirl actually is, maybe one of you two do...and you better know, because if no one fesses up...I'm gonna waste all three of you! So, start remembering."

"No Boyle, wait!" he removed her cowl.

"Now, talk."

"GASP! BRIDGETTE GORDON!" the other two villains gasped. Catwoman used her clws to silently tear through the ropes that bound her.

"Gordon, any relation to our dear Commissioner?" Gray asked

"Shes his daughter Boyle." Mr. Freeze answered.

"Well alright then, now that I know who you are, I can finally destroy you Batgirl!"

"NO!"

"Don't worry, I'm sure your old man will understand." he raised the gun...Boy, can't wait to read SargentEpsilon's review after this one.

"I don't think so Boyle-MEOOOOOOOW!" Catwoman leaped free, and pounced on the former industrialist.

"Oh sh*t...AHHHHHH!"

"Hiiiisssss-Meow! Meow!"

"Ow, ow it hurts, no-n-no not the face-OWWW!"

"Ouch, go Gwen." Bridgette used a batarang to get herself free.

"So...the Commish's daughter is the lady bat, huh?" Mr. Freeze asked

"Ouch-ow-oh my God! Oh, please!"

"Yeah." she re-cowled herself. Then took out a can of spray. "Too bad you're gonna forget." Batgirl said in a sing-song voice. She sprayed his face.

"Huh-what...where am i-Batgirl?"

"Yes, this forget-me-Bat spray really does work."

"Oh merciful God! Not the teeth!"

"HISSSSSSS!"

"Wow, she really does not like Boyle."

"Yup.

"Meeoooooooow!" at that Moment Boyle grabbed her by the neck.

"Catwoman, don't worry I'll-oops-[punch]" clumsy Batgirl dropped her batarang and a souless and angry Gray Goblin punched her away with his free hand...what a douche. He opened the door and hung her out the window.

"Ferris!" a heartfelt Catwoman begged "Come on...buddy old pal, no hard feelings." the bleeding industrialist simply dropped her. Frozen, Gwen looked down, and held up a sign exclaiming "yikes" and she fell Tom&Jerry style.

"Sorrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Nightwing and Robin, nearing the end of the rope, saw her fell.

"Hey, was that-"

"Dude I hope not-"

"It is!" Came Gwen's voice who caught onto the rope. "We gotta hurry, he's still got Bridgette and Tyler, climb dammit climb!"

"Wait how did she-"

"I got it Nightwing, whoa-whoa-aw cripes." Robin got out his Forget-me-Bat, which he clumsily dropped, and it exploded right on Catwoman's head

"Cough-cough...wait, Batgirl who?"

"Well, that's one way to do it." Nightwing shrugged.

Back in the cockpit-ha-ha, a heated stuggle began between Gray and Batgirl.

"Yeah, still frozen up here."

"SHUT-UP FREEZE!" they both yelled, Batgirl managed to get a blast of Forget-me-Bat on Boyle

"Ha! Comes in handy, in the clutch."

"Cough-cough! Ergh! Enough of this-[falcon punch]"

"Unh-[thud]"

"I'm through messing around Batgirl!" Gray took out a bomb from his cloak pocket. And tossed it on the main controls locking it in place. Batgirl managed to get up from her dazed condition.

"The second that bomb goes off, this whole blimp is going to go sky high! And don't even bother defusing it, it's fail safe AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! See you later-NOT! Hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" Boyle jumped out the nearest window and started to climb one of the safety ropes to the top of the blimp.

"Good thing I still have the Gothcorp Jet Pack!" he said tying down the suitcases of money.

"Aw man, I'm gonna follow him, Tyler, uh...sit tight." Batgirl followed Gray outside.

"No don't worry about me, I'm not going any-aw what's the use?"

Meanwhile, the three dopes on a rope were nearly to the cockpit box.

"Almost...there." when suddenly the heard a jet engine blast. It was the flying Bat-Wing. The cockpit opened up, and who should pop out but?

"Need a lift?" Batman asked. Catwoman wasting no time landing in his arms.

"Baby, how'd you know?"

"Back."

"Yes sir." she groaned with bat-cuffs on her wrists.

"Come on you slackers!" the other two fell into their seats.

Batman rose to the top of the blimp. Ferris was on top being pursued by Batgirl to the front of the blimp, which would have made for an easier getaway for the insane industrialist.

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" He got the jet pack ready.

"Freeze Boyle!"

"Oh right, cause that one's gonna-"

"Listen to her Boyle, it's over!" Came Batman's voice. The sun was just peaking over the horizon as the blimp headed over Gotham Bay.

"That's where you're wrong Batzy! All I have to do is activate this jet pack, fly away and watch this blimp take your Bat-Cunt and Tyler Fries down with it!"

"Uh-Gray-"

"Shut-up Batgirl, you've been nothing but a thorn in my side from day one! I knew your identity once, and I'll find out again!"

"No really, freeze!"

"Oh ha-ha, very funny, like that'll-huh?" someone tapped Boyle on the shoulder, Gray turned around.

"Hey Boyle...Freeze-[veerrroooooo]

"Noooooo-..." finally silence. By Freeze's freeze gun, Boyle as frozen into a block of solid ice.

"Bought time...but uh, what about the bomb?"

"Taken care of-[Ka-BOOOOOM]-Sorta-AHHHHHH!" the blimp fell. Batgirl grabbed Freeze and activated the Bat-parachute. While Batman used the bat-claw to grab Boyle. Just as the police were surrounding.

"Gotham PD!"

"Air support!"

"Nobody move!"

"Well, that's one way to do it." he said.

With everybody back at Arkham where they belonged Trent was reading the next days paper, while Alfred served him tea on the veranda.

"Victory tea sir?"

"Yes, thank you Alfred."

"Hmm, quite the headline sir, Freeze freeze's Cold Industrialist. What a title."

"Yes, I was surprised how eager and easily it was to get him and Gwen back into the asylum." Trent said taking a sip.

"But what will ever come of that cold, cold hearted man sir?"

"I'm not sure Alfred-"

We cutscene briefly into Arkham...Where Tyler was continuing his research, and the girls were back to fighting over Batman. And a few cells down from Tyler in cold storage, sat the frozen Gray Goblin.

"-But somehow I think Boyle has a good, long, cold time to think about that." his gray eyes shined through the cold blue ice.

**THE END!**

Guys, howdy, Tom Ruegger here, director and fellow Jersey native likewise Niko56. Were glad you enjoyed our little saga here, we ask you to REVIEW! And get ready for the long awaited debut of Katie and Sadie coming up next. Cartoongal11: Congratulations! You were TDM's 200th review, keep up the writing and keep enjoying, alright, stay tuned guys.

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**Peter Oldring: **Robin

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**Dan Petronijevic: **Nightwing

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Mark Hamill: **The Gray Goblin

**Peter Oldring: **Mr. Freeze

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Catwoman

**Frank Welker: **Dr. Bartholomew

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Harley Quinn

**Katie Crown: **Poison Ivy

**Rachel Wilson: **Heather Al Ghul

**Jason Marsden: **Police

**Phil LaMarr: **Police

GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY


	57. The Dummy Is I, Part I

**Villain: The Ventriloquist&Sadieface**

**Episode Counterpart: Read My Lips (1993) **

**Written By: Alan Burnett&Michael Reaves**

**Directed By: Boyd Kirkland **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 28: The Dummy is I **

Katie Wesker was an amateur crook. She seemed to have a knack to cracking safes. Everything in her life seemed to be all peaches and cream...and larceny, until that one faithful evening she robbed a puppeteer shop in West Gotham.

"Almost there...and...YES! Perfect." she said admiring all the days cash. She quickly stuffed it in a sack. "And now I am out of here." she decided to walk through the showroom, filled with all the puppets...yes, it does seem creepy. Suddenly out of nowhere-

"Hey, where ya going?"

"Huh?"

"Over here." Katie turned around nervously. "W-w-w-whose there, look if it's about the money, I'll put it all back, I swear! See, t-t-this is me putting it back."

"No-no, please don't, but uh...come a little closer." the voice said. Nervously Katie moved closer.

"You're getting warmer..."

"Who are you?" Katie asked

"Not who...what." Katie eventually found the voice.

"But you...you're a puppet."

"Yeah and..."

"And..." Katie picked the puppet up. "And you look just like me...well lighter skinned and, heh-heh heavier, but just like me, I love it."

"Oh thanks, I'm Sadieface by the way, weird name I know, probably why I've never been bought."

"Really, my names Katie! Katie Wesker. But I feel so sad that no ones wanted you, you're so lifelike, almost like-"

"Like I have a mind of my own?"

"Yes, EEEEE! I am so taking you home with me, come on." Katie broke out the front and quickly ran away.

"This is gonna be the beginning of an awesome friendship."

"EEEEE I was thinking the same thing."

The police arrived sometime later, Montoya and Bullock spearheaded the investigation with Batman, Chef was busy talking to the store manager.

"So how much was taken?" Chef asked.

"Oh, just 3 grand, lucky the burglar didn't find the secret safe in the back, I got close to 100k in there." the manager said.

"Anything else taken?" Courtney asked, sifting through the puppets on the shelves.

"Oh I doubt it, unless the thief has a thing for puppets." The manager shrugged. Perplexed, Batman kept looking.

"Hmm."

"Oh great, Pointy Ears has his thinking face on." Chef groaned. Batman starred at the empty spot where Sadie once sat.

"Sell any puppets today?" Batman asked

"Oh no Batman, I'm closed on Sundays, and I just restocked my shelves yesterday evening before I closed up."

"Hmm, ones missing."

"Where?" Courtney asked

"Right here. Know the make?" Batman asked the manager

"Why yes, old Sadieface. Somehow when she was made, her creator gave her a mind of her own."

"You didn't create her?" Batman asked

"Oh not her, but I assure you all I would never make any puppet like her. Her own mind was corrupt, made a little psychotic if you will."

"What do you mean?" Courtney asked "Is she manipulative?"

"Of course not, she is only a puppet, enticing maybe. However she is extremely sadistic, evil minded, for the life of me I could never sell her."

"So why do you think the thief took her?" Batman asked

"I imagine perhaps she spoke to the thief and they had something in common. Puppet or not, and in the hands of a capable thief, this could be bad."

"Maybe, I'll look up more about this-"

"Detective Bullock, uh sorry to interrupt, but we found this hair tie on the floor here." said a police officer.

"Mine! Face!" Bullock said putting his hand in Batman's face.

"Well, I know when I'm not wanted, goodnight everyone."

"What?" Bullock asked getting a few dirty looks. "I called dibsies."

Anyway, Batman returned to the Bat-Cave. He tried to see if he could find out more about this mysterious puppet and thief. Alfred of course had something witty to say.

"Spending too much time at the Asylum sir?"

"What's that supposed to mean Alfred?"

"...Your top listed site on the computer is the cities Crime Stoppers, and whenever Batman isn't off fighting crime...he's here."

"Fine, there's something else I've been meaning to look up, the art of dummies."

"Puppets sir?"

"Yup, weirdest...crime...ever."

"Well, whenever you decide to go to bed it's all made for you."

"Thanks Alfred." his butler exited the Bat-Cave and back to the surface.

Meanwhile Katie and Sadie rode up to the open gate of the Wayne Manor. Katie's was a tad skeptical on her new friends decision.

"Stealing from Trent Wayne? I dunno Sadie."

"What? But I thought you liked stealing and looting?"

"Yeah but I've never pulled off a job this big!"

"Oh okay, wanna hit somewhere else?" Sadie asked

"Are you kidding! This could be the best score ever! Trent Wayne looted by a wanton crook and her best friend puppet! I happen to know that rich schmuck has no security system-" You heard wrong "-And the only people living at the estate is him, his two adopted kids and his old fart butler."

"So...what?"

"So, I think Trent Wayne is going to get a little visit from the...the Ventriloquist..."

"And Sadieface!"

"Oh, how could I forget you bestie, come on." they left the semi-safety of the car, and approached the front door.

"You sure you can open this with one hand?"

"Ha! Only in my sleep!" Ventriloquist easily picked the lock to the door. "See, piece of cake."

"Right, now shh!" Sadie warned.

"Oh, right."

The two sneaked about the manor to try and find the safe containing all the moneys. They sneaked up the stairs and into the creaky hallways. Alfred was in the kitchen washing some dishes. Who says you lose your hearing at...holy crap Efrem Zimbalist Jr. is like 90-something.

"Hmm...strange." Alfred said. He exited the kitchen and into the main living room. "Master Geoffrey...Master Cody? … Batman even? Hmm...curiouser and curiouser." he too walked up the stairs.

Meanwhile Ventriloquist and Sadieface found the room with a giant-ass safe in it.

"Sadie look."

"I think we've done it Katie, we found it!"

"EEEEEEEEEE" they approached the marvel

"You can crack this baby, right?"

"Is the Great Wall of Chine huge?"

"Yes."

"I agree it's a freaking wonder! But yes, I can crack this." Ventriloquist got right to work. And damn, Catwoman has got nothing on her. "I think I...almost got it, there." the safe door opened.

"It's..."

"It's..." the two gazed

"Beautiful."

"The Wayne family fortune...all of it, all I one pl-"

"Ahem!" Ventriloquist gulped, she and her puppet slowly turned around to see the angry butler blocking the doorway. "Can I help you?" Alfred asked

"Uh...sure you can...big guy, uh, I'm with us, Ja-Jahovas Witnesses and was wondering if I could just have a moment of your time?"

"I'm quite happy with the Church of England thank you-if only I could find a bloody church in this town-but none the less, that answer is not going to fly."

"I thought not."

"And...is...is that a...puppet?"

"Uh, maybe." Ventriloquist tried to hide her new friend. But Sadie had other plans. From behind her, the puppet grabbed a small Tommy gun small enough for her.

"Yeah I'm a puppet Jeeves, what of it!"

"Oh dear lord!"

"Sadie, what are you doing-"

"Quiet Katie, I gotta make sure prim and proper here stays quiet so we can make out with that rich snots loot!"

"But-But, I could never kill-"

"But that's the best part, I do all the hard work, and you just stand there." Sadie moved closer, which made Katie move closer.

"Great Scott!" Alfred backed away.

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW! ...And stuff**

**So...World Series anyone?  
**


	58. The Dummy Is I, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

As Alfred backed away he heard the echo of what Batman said earlier in the Bat-Cave.

"_Weirdest. Crime. Ever."_

"_Puppets sir-puppets sir-puppets sir?"_

"Well, found our puppet thief." he whispered to himself.

"What did you say Jeeves?" Sadie asked "I'm the boss around here see! Well, besides dummy over here."

"Hey!"

"Oh relax Katie it's just a joke, you know cause I'm-I'm the dummy, but I gotta big evil brain-oh jeez another tough crowd. But anyways I can't let you tell anyone about us." the two inched closer. Katie covered her eyes.

"Say goodnight Jeeves!"

"My name is not Jeeves!" Alfred fumed "My name, is Alfred Pennyworth!"

"O...kay, any need for the dramatics?" Sadie asked, when suddenly-

"Excuse me." Came Trent's Trent voice. He entered the room nonchalant as ever wearing a robe, slippers and pajama pants. When in reality he knew exactly what was going on. "What's going on in here? I heard some struggling...Alfred, are you being rude to our guests?" he asked

"What?" the butler asked angrily.

"What?" Ventriloquist and Sadieface asked equally surprised.

"But-but-but-but-sir!"

"Now-now, I'm always happy to have guests in my house, why exactly did you two stop by again?" Trent asked

"Uh...er...uh...you see?" the two stammered . . .

"Uh...We were...l-lost." Ventriloquist said

"Yes-yes, were lost."

"Hmm, great Ventriloquist act." Trent complimented

"Thanks."

"Uh, where are you headed, maybe I can help?" Trent asked

"Uh, you know what, I just remembered where we have to go-I mean, I have to go...but uh, thanks, nice meeting you Mr. Wayne."

"My pleasure uh...I'm sorry, I never got your name."

"M-my name?"

"Yes, I am always intrigued to learn about new people, it's an interesting quality my dad once taught me." she welled up a little...and uh...so did Sadie.

"Oh...m-my name is Katie Wesker, and this is my puppet..."

"S-S-S-adie-f-f-f-f-face."

"Well Alfred show them the door, I don't pay you to stand around."

"But-but-but-but-but-but." Alfred stammered confusedly

"Alfred..."

"Ugh, right away sir." Alfred mumbled his way to the front door.

"Thank you Mr. Pennyworth. What do you say Sadieface?" Ventriloquist asked as if she was doing some sort of act.

"Uh, thank you for your kind hospitality, and thank you Mr. Wayne."

"Anytime." the duo left, and Alfred slammed the door. "Boy what nice people."

"What! Nice People! Are you insane sir! Has all the hand-to-hand combat gone to your Bat-Head?" Alfred fumed, Trent only smiled. "I'll bet you shes the puppet thief you mentioned earlier, and-and...and you knew this already, and placed a tracking device/microphone on her, didn't you?"

"Come on Alfred, don't you know me better by now?"

"Oh, Master Trent you are quite the thespian."

"What, I'm no gay woman, what are you talking about."

"Sigh, but the Rhodes Scholar you are not, at any rate, what do you propose happens now?"

"We just sit back, relax, and listen.

**The next day**

Batman listened in on the conversation between Ventriloquist, Sadieface, and their new gang...hich consisted of two other guys. A muscular tough guy named Rhino, and a lesser tough guinea named Mugsy. Sadie did all the talking.

"_You sure we can hit this place boss?" Rhino asked_

"_Yeah, security will be very tight." Mugsy added_

"_Of course were sure, right Katie?"_

"_Right, I happen to know the First National Bank is loaded with cash, and security sucks when it opens promptly at 9 am on Tuesdays."_

"_Hey, tomorrows Tuesday." Rhino exclaimed_

"_That's why were hittin' da place ding-dong-[thonk]"_

"_Ow, the hell Mugsy!"_

"_Shut-up, the both of you! Sadie ordered_

"_Sorry boss."_

"_That's fine, just be ready for tomorrow." The conversation ended. _

"Well at least we know where they're going to strike, you going in alone?" Alfred asked

"Have to, Bridgette and Geoff both have classes, and Cody's going on some big field trip to Metropolis, so yeah I'm on my own." Batman stood up and approached the Batmobile.

"You sure you don't want any help sir?"

"I'll be fine Alfred." he opened the door. Batman hopped in "I've fought villains on my ownbefore haven't I?"

"Well yes, but; I believe it is you who once said: never underestimate your opponent, no matter how weak they may seem. This Ventriloquist might not be a -a Joker, or a Poison Ivy, or even a Riddler...But that doesn't mean this psycho doesn't have a few tricks up her sleeve."

"I'll keep that in mind Alfred."

"Oh, one more thing sir."

"Yes Alfred?"

"Take this." Alfred handed him a small jar.

"Uh...what's in it?" Batman asked

"The puppet's natural enemy." Alfred smirked

"Uh, acid?" Batman guessed

"Termites." Batman simply smirked

"Uh...why uh...do you have a jar of termites on hand?"

"Don't look at me, I don't have all the answers...But I'll bet you Butch Hartman did the teleplay yet again."

"Right then, I'll see you later." Batman rushed out the secret entrance and over to Gotham first national. "Man, being out in the daylight sure is weird."

At the bank, Chef Bullock was waiting in line to cash his paycheck.

"Man, I come her early to beat the crowd, and I'm still waiting in line! I'm an officer of the law dammit I should get to go in front...I bet Sherlock Holmes doesn't have to deal with this crap-hey quit pushing you!"

Anyway, Now dressed in mob apparel, Ventriloquist and her small gang used the direct approach I.E. Having Rhino bust through the front door

[Blam!]

"Alright everybody, this here's a raid! Nobody move!"

"AHHHHH!"

"Oh my God!"

"Quickly someone call the police!"

"Hey uh...Rhino, that door wasn't locked you coulda just opened it." Mugsy said

"Yeah but it's more fun this way."

"Alright yous mugs listen up! I'm Sadieface, and this here's the Ventriloquist! Were here to take the banks money, cooperate, and you will leave her with all your skin and bone marrow attached to your body."

"Wait-what?" Ventriloquist asked

"I don't know, been working on some new liners."

"Oh they're good."

"Thanks."

"Wait a second?"

"Is this a joke?"

"Is that a...?"

"Yeah it is."

"You mean to tell me were being held up by a puppet.

"Not just any puppet, a puppet, with a Tommy Gun!" the crowd quickly quieted down.

"Mugsy, Rhino, to the safe!"

"On it boss!"

While the Ventriloquist and Sadieface kept the crowd at Bay, Rhino and Mugsy found the safe at the back of the bank, where Bullock was ready to surprise them.

"K Mugs, should be a piece of cake." Rhino said getting the acetylene torch ready.

"Cake, now that sounds good." Bullock said

"Gasp!"

"More like, just desserts."

"Good one, who writes your comedy Dan Schneider?" the two drew guns (I keed, Dan you are a funny guy). Now Bullock was outgunned 2 to 1.

"Aw crap." suddenly a batarang came down and knocked the guns from their hands.

"What the?" Batman swooped in, and did what he did best

[Pow-Baf-Zok-Ouch] and apprehended the two.

"Thanks Cowl Head, but I could have taken them?"

"Sure you could, and I'm Trent Wayne."

"Yeah, everyone's a friggin' comedian today." Chef rolled his eyes.

Batman walked out into the main room behind the teller windows, shhing the tellers while Ventriloquist watched the hostages. He got a Batarang ready, he tossed it, but as he did, Sadieface made Katie turn around so she could shoot it away!

"Whoa! Didn't see that coming, Chuckie much?"

"Oh Batman, surely you figured I was capable of doing more then just stand up comedy." Sadie said.

"Yeah right." Sadie forced her handler to inch closer giving the Bat a great idea.

"_Man what a fat idiot."_

"Hey, whatcha say?" Sadie asked Ventriloquist

"What I said nothing."

"_Shes so fat and stupid, why'd I have to look like her."_

"You did it again!"

"Boss it's not me, honest!" the gun was now turned on her.

"You're a Ventriloquist dammit! How could that not be you!"

"I'm not a very good one."

"_This idiot doesn't know nothing!"_

"You know what you lousy meat head, how bout I turn this on you!"

"No boss, please, I'm-I'm so-"

"Hey Puppet-head."Batman said directing their attention. "Eat it." he opened the jar and let loose the termites, which consumed Sadie.

"Nooooo! NOOOOOOO!"

"No! SADIE!" Ventriloquist fell to her knees sobbing "She...she was the only friend I ever had." Batman approached her. dangling a pair of Bat-cuffs.

"Yeah, try the other one." he said. As he cuffed her, he noticed Chef walk out.

"You know, I miss the old days when crooks had a simple motive and a common gimmick."

"Yeah...Just goes to show...who the dummy really is." Batman said

"No, no it doesn't."

"Well whatever I don't write this."

At Arkham Asylum, Katie was in her woodshop time...making another Sadie face.

"Oh that's very good Katie, you're quite the puppeteer." the guard said

"Thanks...I try." she gave the head a nice scar down the cheek.

**The End**

Hey! Niko here. Wow guys...Season 3...is winding...down! Glad you enjoyed the Ventriloquist's debut, speaking of debuts, we got Bane up next, with more Candace, Killer Croc, and Rupert Thorne. PLEASE REVIEW as always and thank you for making this my most popular story ever! Cartoongal11: to answer your previous question you were the 200th person to review this story. Alright guys, catch ya tomorrow.

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Courtney Montoya

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **The Ventriloquist

**Lauren Lipson: **Sadieface

**Tom Kane: **Store Manager

**Earl Boen: **Rhino

**Tom Kenny: **Mugsy, Time passing Narrator, various

**Mae Whitman: **additional voices

**Rob Paulsen: **Police officer, Arkham guard

**Grey DeLisle: **additional voices

By the By, i played Arkham City recently...It...Is...The...SHIT! I love it, so stealthy so unpredictable, Frekin Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill back as Batman and Joker! And, Tara Strong as Harley Quinn, wow, did she do her homework. Play the game it is awesome it will blow your freakin minds!


	59. A 'Juicy' Contradiction, Part I

**Villain(s): Bane, Rupert Thorne, Killer Croc**

**Episode Rewrite: Bane (1994)**

**Written By: Mitch Brian**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 29: A 'Juicy' Contradiction**

A freakin huge brother in a three piece suit, and wrestling mask exits his plane at Gotham International Airport. He looks for the sign pointing to him. He finds who he was looking for. Candace.

You guys remember Candace, Rupert Thorne's personal secretary? Of course you do. Anyway one of her goons grabs one of his bags, which was extremely heavy. The two enter the back of the car, and it drives away.

"You really can't get good help these days." she said.

"Nah, people just need to try harder that's all." the guy said.

"Well, I hear your help is the best money can buy. You see, I'm the one who hired you in the first place."

"Well then I guess I owe you something special..." he took something in foil from his pocket "My mommas famous chicken salad sandwich."

"Thank you."

"And I see you have exquisite pleasures miss-uh, sorry I never quite caught your name."

"Oh, call me Candace."

"Call me, Bane."

We cutscene you now to Rupert Thorne's building, inside his private gym. The Kingpin was hitting a boxing bag while Jake, his personal trainer held it.

"Grunt-huh!"

"Come on boss, hit it again!"

Grunt-grunt-grunt!"

"Again!"

"Pant...grunt-pant." he grew tired

"Come on boss, no wonder Batman is running rings around you!" Jake said

"Grunt-PUNCH!" angered, Thorne punched Jake right out, just as Bane and Candace entered. "You just can't find good help these days."

"So I've been told." Rupert walked towards a counter, with a stove where some soup was boiling. "Candace when Jake comes to, tell him he's fired. Ugh, if only I can get my damn chili to get that perfect kick."

"Please, allow me. Momma always taught me to cook." Bane went right to work mixing some spices.

"Assassin, and he cooks! Perfect, now let's do some business Mr. Bane." Rupert said opening a suitcase filled with diamonds. He picked up a newspaper about his crime families botched job days earlier. "They'll never pin it on me, but that little heist at the Lufthansa Airport cost me 10 mill. You almost didn't get paid." he showed his new cooking associate the diamonds. "Lucky these babies didn't get nabbed in the smuggling bust." Bane stopped cooking and grabbed the case.

"No Mr. Thorne, you're the lucky one grunt-HA!" He punched the boxing bag with one punch right off the chain and into some dumbbells.

"Uh, ha-ha-ha, I'm-uh, making my secretary available to you, to uh, provide information on your target." Thorne explained nervously.

"My needs have already been met." Bane took out a newspaper with Killer Croc's recent escape on the front cover.

"I'm paying you to go after Batman, not Killer Croc." Rupert said.

"But the Batman will surely be on the reptiles tail, I'll observe him in action, understand how he thinks and fights...and then, I will break him." Bane clenched a fist. "Now, where do I find this Killer Croc?"

I'll tell ya where Bane! Twas later that evening at a government warehouse by the docks. Because that's where all the sh*t in Gotham goes down, that's why! Anyway, there were only two guards guarding the warehouse. They were on break. When suddenly a large truck smashes through the door

CRASH

Henchmen pour out from the truck, as does Killer Croc, who on top of his pants wore a trenchcoat and hat. He threw the guards against the wall

"Whoooooooooooooa-[thud]"

"Load what you can in the truck boys, we'll get the safe." Croc ordered. Many of his henchmen went to loading boxes into their truck while Croc and several others tried to open the safe in the control room. It seemed like things were going well, until Batman and Nightwing crashed through the skylight.

"Batman!" Croc yelled. His men tried to ward them off. He ran back into the other room, and grabbed the safe away from his locksmiths "No time for this!" he yelled. He carried the heavy safe and loaded it back on the truck.

Aware of this, Batman threw a smoke grenade, which exploded right in front of Croc, and the safe fell off the back of the truck.

"AHHHHH! My beautiful eyes!" he quickly ran away.

With the henchmen subdued, Batman and Nightwing chased after the amphibious psycho. Croc made his way to an under construction building, and tore down a pipe wall.

"Grunt!"

"Look out-[crash]"

Upon getting up the two noticed a manhole cover roll towards a nearby wall, and by the hole, was Croc's trenchcoat. The two crime fighters were skeptical on whether or not to follow Croc now in his element.

Inside the sewer, Croc was using an intersection by the manhole as cover, he had a piece of metal pipe and was ready for the two.

"Come on in Batman, the water's fine-[crash] Huh!" the wall to the sewer was crashed open nearby, and thr very largeBane stepped out, wearing a wrestler's uniform. He had his juice tubes at his wrists and head...you know what I mean.

"He is mine to destroy monster!" Bane warned

"Over my dead and gorgeous body!"

"As you wish." Bane gave himself a quick shot of juice, and got stupid strong.

"Oh God...Not the face!"

Batman and Nightwing entered the sewer and heard the commotion from nearby.

"Ah-Ah-Ah-Ow!"

"That's Croc." Nightwing said. The two continued in the direction of the girlish wail. Suddenly a knocked out Croc was floating towards them, they noticed the wall...that was missing.

"Somebody's helping us out, somebody tough." Nightwing scratched his chin.

The two brought Croc out of the sewer, each grabbing a leg, and walked away thinking on who they guy was.

"Maybe he's a crime fighter like us, someone who wants to help clean up Gotham?" Nightwing guessed. "What do you think Batman-gasp!" they came to the Batmobile and saw it was in worse shape then Croc.

"I think you might be right Robin, whoever did this is tough. Cause this was done with bare hands." he pointed to the marks on the wheel wells.

Later at Arkham, Croc was in his cell, barely conscience, and in a variety of casts, including one raised leg cast. Batman decided to pay him a visit.

"I didn't think you'd mind a little company."

"Visiting hours are over." Croc sneered in pain.

"Hmm, wonder how these traction's work?" Batman asked walking over to the pulley that raised and lowered his suspended casts.

"When my bones heal, I'll show you first hand." This didn't sway Batman from having his finger at the lever "Okay-okay! What do you want?"

"Who did this to you Croc?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"If you'd rather suffer in silence, that's fine with me." Batman shrugged, and turned to the pulley, and lowered his casts.

"Aw! Okay-okay! He was huge, had these uh-tubes in his head, click of a switch they pumped him up three times his size. And he had an accent, African American, and just a hint of Rastafarian." Croc said.

"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Batman smirked

"You'll know hard Bats, once he leaks that juice into his brain and snaps you in two."

"Don't bet on it Killer. Later gator." Batman walked away

"Ha, and I thought Joker's puns sucked." Croc shook his head.

Back at the Batcave, Geoff was busy making repairs to the Batmobile, when Alfred walked in with a paper, and dinner.

"You seem to have a ding in your door sir." Ha-ha

"He trashed my car Alfred, between two guys, that's personal."

"Nice to see you still have your sense of humor in the face of adversity sir." he rolled his eyes.

"Something Croc said reminded me of an old story I read about that happened at a Jamaican Prison, Pena-Doro." he looked it up on the Bat-Computer. "For lifers only."

"So were looking for an escapee?" Alfred asked

"Precisely. And there's only been one escape in 25 years. 3 years ago." he looked at the pictures of the smashed walls. All in a row. "Computer, find out what you can on Project: Gilgamesh."

"Gilgamesh, like the warrior?" Alfred asked

"The ultimate warrior. A project to make super soldiers out of hardened criminals, it was abandoned when they got more then the bargained for."

"And, what was that sir?"

"They got Bane." Batman and Alfred watched the archive footage of Bane's transformation, and how he went stark mad, and broke out of the place. Damn. Geoff walked over, more surprised then the other two

"Dude..."

"After the escape, Bane went into business for himself as a freelance assassin. Ususal price for a job...5 million. So question is, who wants to eliminate me?"

"No offense sir, but so many they could form a small country, much like Facebook. The question lies, on who has 5 million dollars to spend at gratis." Alfred explained

"Well, with Ferris Boyle still frozen at Arkham, Daniel Mockridge on my side, and most of the crime families in the city either dead of imprision, who does that leave?" Batman asked. Alfred said nothing but simply held out the paper about Rupert Thorne's botched heist at the Lufthansa Airport.

**To Be Continued PLEASE REVIEW!**

Hey Cartoongal11: Proud of you =) no need to thank me, it's just free compliment day. So, who wants compliments...anyone?


	60. A 'Juicy' Contradiction, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

At Thorne Enterprises, Bane was in Thorne's office getting his flex on, and curls on. Whilst Candace watched him.

"I have anticipated his every move. Soon, you will have the honor of watching me pry the mask from off his cowardice face, and then...ha-ha-ha, I will break him." Bane said

"With Batman out of the way, Gotham could be yours, and...so could I." Candace got up close to the left arm.

"But, what about your boss?"

"Well, accidents do happen. See you tonight." they shared a kiss. Suddenly, Rupert and Frankie walked in.

"You're here late Candace."

"Just leaving Rup." she said. "Hiya Frankie."

"Sup Candace. Whoa, you weren't kidding boss, that guy is huge."

"Thanks man." Bane said. Rupert walked to the window.

"He's out there somewhere Bane I just know it."

"Yes, and I think, he may be...closer then we think...excuse me." Bane left the office

"What's eating him?" Frankie asked

"He's just doing his job Frankie, as you should be doing yours."

"Yes, right away boss."

Batman followed Candace to her place in the Batmobile while across the street on the ledge of the building stood Nightwing with binoculars listening in on the conversation. He ejected the tape recording the microphone that was sneaked in earlier to Rupert's office.

"Hmm-hmm-hmm, perfect." little did he know Bane had climbed up behind him.

"So, this is the Night of wings, eh?"

"Whoa, what the!" He held Nightwing over the edge...20 stories high.

"So sorry, it'll be over, before it begins."

"I think not!" Nightwing held onto his arm, and rolled underneath his legs, which flipped Bane. Nightwing was then able to dash across the ledge.

Their running led them off the building to the smaller buildings below. Bane was always right behind Nightwing. He was in need to catch his breath and stood behind a vent. Nightwing tried to over power Bane, but he was unable, and, Bane squeezed him so hard, he knocked him out.

"You have courage for one so small, you can yet be of use to me." he said carrying Nightwing off.

Candace arrived back at her apartment sometime later. She tossed her coat aside like no one was around, but something seemed amiss. Especially when you see Batman behind you in your closet mirror

"Gasp!"

"I'd like to speak to you about your new boyfriend."

After some explaining, Candace went right to watching TV.

"You've been stood up." he said

"Doubt it. He's obsessed with you, knows everything about you, he probably knows you better then you know yourself." a possibility. The phone rang. "Bet it's for you." Batman picked it up and said nothing, it was in fact Bane.

"_I've been watching you Batman, but; like a common sniper, you never did reach the fawn."_

"What do you want Bane?"

"_Oh just something between two foes...what do you value most Batman? Or should I say, WHO you most value most." he hung up_

Batman ran to the window, and on a TV antenna he saw Nightwing's costume hung up

"Nightwing!"

Batman quickly grabbed Candace's Alderamin and broke the window, he swung his way across the street. Intrigued, Candace left her apartment. Batman ran up to the outfit, and saw a note attached to it.

Wharves of Rose's Thorne

That was the name of a large shipping vessel owned by the Kingpin. On the deck, dangling over the side, on suspended chains, was Nightwing, without most of his costume. Candace went to unmask him, but was stopped by Bane

"I want his mask Bane!" she ordered

"Patience. Soon it will all unfold." Bane activated the crane which held Nightwing. A weight was attached to his feet.

He was held over a dry dock, and lowered in, pipes from inside the square enclosed dock, filled fast with water.

"Whoa."

"Been nice hanging with you." Candace blew him a kiss.

Batman swung onto the deck of the vessel, where he heard Bane's voice, and saw Candace one deck above.

"Welcome to my arena Batman! Prepare to meet, your master!" Bane yelled, he juiced himself up.

He jumped down from his perch and hit the ground hard. That alone knocked Batman off balance. Bane threw a punch, which Batman dodged. The dark knight tried punching him in the chest, but to no avail.

He went for a kick. Big mistake. Bane grabbed his leg and tossed him into the side of the railing. Which he used as a slinghot somehow and launched himself at the superhuman, only for Bane to close-line him.

"Unh!"

On the ground, Batman was able to use some feet blows to the head to flip Bane. This proved to the Detective's advantage.

"Unh!"

"Ah!"

"Ugh!"

"Aw!"

Candace watched the spectical, and Nightwing was nearly stomach deep in water, like Houdini, he needed an escape plan. His victory was interrupted when Bane threw him into a stack of wooden boxes. Batman noticed one of the knocked out contents...a harpoon gun.

"I will break you!" Bane yelled getting closer. Batman was able to shoot him point blank, which blew Bane right off the ship and into the water. [splash]

Batman turned his attention to Candace, who took off running. He then noticed Nightwing in the uh...well, wet dock, which was now up to his neck. Batman jumped in.

"My legs! Get the weight!" he ordered. The caped crusader went under.

He quickly undid the chain, and then freed his former ward. Candace backed away only to bump into a soaking wet Bane. As Batman climbed the ladder, the superhuman grabbed him, and kicked Nightwing into the water.

"Hey-[splash]" he then noticed Candace. "Come here sweetie, I got something to discuss with you." Candace took off her shoes, and jumped in after him.

Whereas Batman and Bane went back at it. Batman was having better success...cause he had more boxes he could smash over Bane's head. And Candace proved quite the fighter under water. Batman threw a Batarang at Bane, who quickly caught it.

"Toys? You try to fight me with pathetic little toys." he said bending it in two.

He went back at smacking Bats around a little bit more. While under the water, Nightwing finally had the advantage. He took Candace under...yes buddy. Back up top Bane angrily grabbed Batman

"You have nothing...you are helpless...SCREAM MY NAME!"

"...Never." Bane brought him over his shoulder.

"I will break you!" With the advantage, Batman jabbed another Batarang into the juicing apparatus around Bane's wrist. This caused it to go haywire and feed him ALL THE juice, AT ONCE! Bane grew four times his size

"No...NOOO! The venom, can't...stop...IT! AHHHHHHH! MOMAAAAAAAAAAA! You can't do this to me! I am invincible! I. AM. BANE!"

With that said Batman disconnected the tube from the back of his mask, and Bane fell, growing down to a normal, more manageable DJ size. Candace had sneaked out through the ladder, and managed to sneak away.

"Let her go."

"What, but I can-"

"I know where shes headed."

Back at Thorne Enterprises, in his office sat himself, Candace, Frankie, and Batman holding a pathetic, crying, and defeated Bane.

"This the best you can throw at me Rupert?" he asked tossing his mask and apparatus on the table.

"Dude...is...is he crying?" Frankie asked

"Frankie, quiet." Rupert ordered

"Go on Candace, tell him." Batman smirked

"Tell me what?" Rupert asked turning to his secretary.

"Take his mask Candace." he got out the tape recorder "I call this...Better Luck Next Time."

"_With Batman out of the way Gotham could be yours. And so could I."_

"_What about your boss?"_

"_Well, accidents do happen." _Batman left after that.

"Aw, that's just cold." Frankie shook his head

"Frankie, zip it." he saw Candace try to sneak away with Bane

"CANDAAAAAAAAAACE!"

**THE END!**

Well-well-well, we are nearly done with season 3 guys, got some more bane up next, along with Joker and Mad Hatter, then Red Claw, and then...dun-dun-DUN, the trial! As always PLEASE REVIEW! And get ready for more, stay tuned!

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Dan Petronijevic: **Nightwing

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Cle Bennett: **Bane

**Paul Sorvino: **Rupert Thorne

**Diane Michelle: **Candace

**Adam Reid: **Killer Croc

**Scott Menville: **Frankie and henchmen

**Tom Kenny: **Jake and guards

**Jason Marsden: **guards

**GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY And wish me luck tomorrow night, Big Conference Championship Game verses Somerville!  
**


	61. Carnival of Chaos, Part I

**Villain(s): Joker, Mad Hatter, Bane**

**Episode Archives: The Last Laugh (1992) Make Em Laugh (1994)**

**Written By: Carl Swenson, Paul Dini&Randy Rogel**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri, Boyd Kirkland **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 30: Carnival of Chaos**

Better name, right? Oh yeah, just a little gloating here...

YESSS! YESSSSSSS! CONFERENCE CHAMPS! YESSSSS! YESSSSSS! 7-0!YESSSS! UNDEFEATED!

Guy's I'd also like to apologize it has been a nightmare around here since that freak snow storm I just got my power and cable back today. Again, sorry.

Anyway, Jack Ryder and Summer Gleeson were doing the news, as Trent Wayne watched from his bathtub. Yeah, he can actually afford a TV, in his bathroom.

"_And there were no survivors."_

"_Thanks Jack, in recent news, The Batman found himself in the news yet again, this time in a fight with Gotham's latest supervillain: Bane."_

"_At one of Industrialist and possible Kingpin Rupert Thorne's shipping vessels, the dark knight found himself in a battle of wits with this juiced up mega human."_

"_It is said Bane did escape, now without any of his juice, sorta speak. After the fact, Thorne said he was unaware of the skirmish on his vessel, but suspiciously offered no other comment." _

"_In related news, Arkham Asylum suffered two more escapes, Harold Tetch, better known as The Mad Hatter, and Gotham's most infamous foe, Duncan Napier, aka: The Joker."_

"Aw crap." Trent groaned

"_And they have already gotten busy. The duo has already stolen supplies from local businesses, and money from three banks, using their mind control and laughing gas to incapacitate the crowds."_

"Typical."

"_It is unknown whether the two had gone into business together, but one thing's for sure, Gotham police are hot on their trails."_

"_And in happier news, the new Carnival/circus has finally been unveiled just outside the city. And it looks like that's all the time we have, I'm Jack Ryder."_

"_And I'm Summer Gleeson-[off]"_

Trent shut off the TV, just as Alfred entered, with a mimosa.

"And so, the work of Batman is never done, is it sir?"

"Nope, uh thank you Alfred. And I can assure you, they are working together."

"Well, I'm sure whatever they're up to, you'll find out what it is."

"Spoken like a true butler."

"As they young people say sir: duh."

"Oh I've been meaning to ask, how was that spa day you took?"

"Eh. No comparison to the hot springs in Bhutan, but...a good day nonetheless."

"Speaking of good days, there's a big merger going down today at work, I'd hate to miss that." Trent said sarcastically

"I'm sure sir."

Twas later at the big company merger with Wayne Enterprises and Star Labs, and needless to say, Trent was bored as hell.

"Now as you can see by these projections for next quarter, we will nearly triple our our current product quotas combined from-"

"Oh...my...God, this blows." Trent whispered to Lucius Fox.

"I agree, we've sat through like 5 of these over the years, and they just tell us the same damn thing, over and over again."

"Ugh, if it didn't mean this merger could bankrupt both our companies in the blink of an eye, I'd say yes right now."

"I agree."

Across the street at the First National Bank, Bridgette Gordon was waiting in line to cash her weeks paycheck. Huh, where have you seen this before? Cliche...yet effective.

"Next."

"Yeah I'd like to make a deposit."

"Uh, how much?" the teller asked

"$200."

"Alright, I'm gonna need to see a deposit slip."

"Ew...oops kinda forgot them at home-"

"Oh come on!" Bridgette groaned "This is intolera-[CRASH]

"AHHHH!"

"What the-"

"WHY IS IT ALWAYS THIS FREAKIN BANK!"

"Alright everybody, stay right where you are!" Mad Hatter ordered, wearing a gas mask. He was accompanied by two large crooks wearing gas masks and wearing clown makeup.

"Do what you're told and this will all be over quickly and painlessly."

"Uh, you want us to loot the safe boss?"

"You IDIOTS! of course that's what I want, get to it! I'll be here."

The two morons adjourned to the vault in the back of the safe room with an acetylene torch.

"Hey you hear what happened to Mugsy and Rhino a couple a weeks ago?"

"Yeah, something about da bat? I dunno, it's a little fuzzy if you ask me."

"Too bad for them huh? Lotta cash in this baby."

"I agree, come on let's just open her up." They got the torch ready.

Now dressed, Batgirl watched the situation. She got on her Bat-Communicator to call Trent.

"Alright boys, let's just see how you wanna deal with Batgirl...and Batman."

. . .

"Now if you'll look at this graph you'll see that in the next quarter of the financial year-"

"Lucius..." Trent whispered

"Yes?"

"Will you kill me?"

"...Only if you kill me first."

Suddenly Trent's communicator buzzed. He sunk under the table.

"_Hey Trent, it's Bridgette, sorry to bother your highness at work, but you may wanna get across the street to First National pronto."_

"Didn't the Ventriloquist just rob that place?"

"_Yeah, but now we got other problems."_

"What kind of 'other' problems?" Trent asked

"_I'll give you a hint-"_

"The Mad Hatter!"

"How did-"

"He's right behind you." Trent whispered pointing to the screen

"_What-hmnmhmnmhm." her cries were muffled by Hatter_

"_Well-well, looks like I got 2 of you pesky-pesky crime fighters for the price of none-hmm-hmm-hmm, I'm sure you and young Robin will enjoy your captivity-NOT, adieu." _

Hatter ended the transmission, fortunately, he was too busy marveling in his own success to ever notice the screen, Trent of course covered it up anyhow.

"Well?" Lucius asked

"Well, it's time to go to 'work' Lucius."

"That's more like it Mr. Wayne." he smirked Excuse me Mr. Meriwether?"

"Yes Mr. Fox?"

"As much as Lucius and I enjoy your sales pitch, I say it's in our companies best interest if we delay the merger for now-at least until the market picks up." Trent added

"Oh, alright then, I can live with that, ladies and gentlemen of the Wayne Board...Mr. Fox, Mr. Wayne, here's hoping." he said walking out with the sales pitch.

"Alright everyone, let's get back to it, huh?"

"Yes sir."

With everyone else oblivious, Trent and Lucius stepped into their "secret" office, where Lucius designs all kinds of cool stuff for the bat-team.

"Alright Mr. Wayne, what can I do for you?" Lucius asked

"Well I'm gonna need some kind of mask that can counteract both Hatter's mind control and Joker's laughing gas."

"Got just the thing." Lucius held up a padded gas mask cowl, steel plated, and bullet proof- "And to add to what the narrator just said, weighs only a couple of pounds."

"That's why you're the best Lucius."

"And in case you're tired of the tights, I got this." a kevlar and steel suit hung on the wall. "Your mobility will be a little strained, but I can assure you, no bullet, no molecule of gas will pierce it, and, I got a little something here for ya." he held up the forearm plates. "The blades here on the sides, press this button, ballistic." Lucius smiled

"I love it." Trent suited up, and got on the awaiting Bat-cycle "You need me, I'll be across the street."

"Good luck...Batman."

Across the street, Courtney Montoya was already talking to some of the patrons and doing some investigating with other officers.

"Detective."

"Oh, hi Batman, I uh...imagine you've heard?"

"Yes. She sent me a message at the last possible moment." Batman explained. He looked around for some clues. "Did Mad Hatter leave anything?"

"Nope, just a few dollars they couldn't steal." she said holding up a seemingly discarded 20.

"Hmm, lemme see that." Batman examined it. The bill had a definite sugary smell, and there was a fine pinkish dust on the bill.

"See anything?"

"Yeah, this dust...it...it smells like...like Cotton Candy."

"So, your saying...The Mad Hatter was recently to a carnival?"

"Or using it as a lair! The new Carnival."

"But Batman that place opens tonight."

"Then Joker and Hatter must be planning something big, come on, we gotta investigate." he led Courtney to his bike.

"Wow, really?"

"Yeah, I'm a little short handed right now if you haven't noticed." he gave Montoya the spare helmet. "Now lets go-[veroom-veroom-veroooooooooom]"

Meanwhile, in the main trailer. Sat the clown prince of crime, talking to Mad Hatter. The two counted the day's loot.

"Man I tell you what Doris, this haul is truly something, Rockafeller ain't got nothing on me-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

"GOSH! Stop calling me Doris Joker!"

"Oh whatever Mr. Cry-Baby. Are our prisoners uncomfortable."

"Yup, and everything is ready for tonight-[bang-bang-bang]" a knock came at their door.

"The hell?"

"It must be the cops!"

"Easy there 10 pence, no cop bangs that hard, I should know-ha-ha." Joker nervously opened the door.

"Hi, you the Joker?" Bane asked

"Hey, you're that Juiced guy that was in the news, come-in-come-in make yourself at home, mi trailer es su trailer-ha-ha-ha-ha. Yo Doris, you can come from behind my desk, it's only the Bane guy."

"Oh, you...hello there good sir."

"Hi there."

"So, I imagine you're in need of a job?" Joker asked walking back to his desk chair

"Oh yes please, now mind you, where I lack in muscles right now, I make up for it, in other needs-"

"Yawn." Joker yawned

"Er-I can cook, I can-"

"Alright alright, you're boring me, and I thought Doris over here was lame-"

"Grrr." Hatter sneered sipping some tea.

"Look Bane, what I need right now is a strong man, lucky for you, you have the body, I have the juice."

"Huh?"

"Ugh, drink this dammit!" Joker put a bottle on the table."

"Joker's Jolty Juice?"

"It's like steroids in a bottle, just like that crap you use, only temporary." Joker explained

"Well, bottoms up-[gulp-gulp-gulp-burp]-Whoa...it's...it's..." Bane felt the change

"Curiouser and curiouser." Hatter marveled

"Excellent, now there's nobody that can stop us-Nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

**TO BE CONTINUED!**

**Again guys, sorry about the whole power thing, I'll be back to my update daily thing, I promise, I REALLY wanna get to the Trial by the end of the week-NOW A FOUR PART EPISODE! And to Cartoongal11: PLEASE update! Oh please please PLEEEEEASE! Alright see ya guys!**


	62. Carnival of Chaos, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

YES! I am invincible once more...I am...BA-"

"Alright-alright settle down there John Cena, you're hired, now you need to get to work." Joker snapped his fingers, entered, a large clown robot. "Bane, this here's my right hand man and your new supervisor, Captain Clown." (This one's for you Kyrogue23)

"Hey, I thought I was your right hand man!" Hatter complained

"You...MY right hand man-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh Doris, you crack me up. First of all, DORIS you need to be a man, to be my right hand man, hell if anything, I'm using Stromboli-Man over here, at least he fits in with the whole circus, carnival scheme."

"But we all do Joker!" Hatter fumed "He's the strong man, you're the clown, and I'm the ring leader!"

"Great-great, just sit there and read your little fairytales Doris, I'm showing tiny here his new job, this way Bane." the two left the trailer.

"Last time I ever tell him any of my middle names." Hatter snarled.

Joker led Bane to the big top.

"Alright, here's your post."

"O...k."

"And here...are your uncomfortable captives-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Joker pointed up to the trapese platform, where Batgirl and Robin were tied up on the pole.

"I picked up young Robin here, late last night while after his patrol, I doubt even Batman knows he's missing yet."

"Hey Joker, whose your new friend, you're mother!" Robin yelled "Huh, get it?"

"No." Batgirl said dryly

"Listen Bird Boy, if anyone's gonna be making the jokes, it's gonna be me! GOT IT!"

"Sure."

"Whatever."

"Alright all you two need to do is stand watch and-"

"Joker!" Came Hatter storming in, already dressed in his ring leader apparel.

"What is it now Doris?"

"Stop calling me that! Listen, the victims are already arriving for our little show."

"Aw, no! Crap, I don't have as much time as we thought. Alright, Bane, Clown! You're with me out back, lest we run into any of the usual Bat-troubles, but I doubt it-hah-hah-hah-hah, Hatter get to your station, everything is set for you."

"Right-eo!" they exited in different directions.

"I don't like the looks of this Bridge." Robin whispered

"Me neither."

The guests purchased their tickets, and approached the big top, where ring leader Hatter, was there to give each unsuspecting guest a mind control helmet ring.

"Step right up, step right up friends, get your free helmet rings, one per customer, and they must be worn inside the show at all times!"

"Oh."

"How interesting."

"Come on, let's get good seats."

"Hmm-hmm-hmm. Perfect." Hatter smirked getting into his position.

A little tardy to the party, Batman and Montoya parked the bike away from the other cars.

"Alright, now what do we do?" she asked

"Easy, you; are gonna go inside the big top and scout for clues, me; I'm gonna search everywhere else."

"Hmm, your pretty vague you know that?" she asked

"Oh big time."

"Alright, I'll look for you in case things go a little south." Courtney said distancing herself from Batman, only for him to already be gone. "Huh?"

"Don't worry, I'll find you." he said out of nowhere.

"Sigh, should have picked Metropolis." Courtney sighed.

Anyway, the young and brazen detective found herself under the big top, where she had sneaked into. Drawing her gun she noticed the disguised Mad Hatter in the center of the tent.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I the great Haroldini, bring you a marvelous spectacle for you all to behold. Heh-heh-heh." he pressed a red button on a secret remote, which activated the rings, making the crowd his slaves.

"What is thy bidding my master?" the crowd asked

"No." Courtney whispered.

"You, are to watch my latest spectacle, the death defying final stunt! The fatal end-of Batgirl and Robin!" the spotlight appeared on the two crimefighters.

"Hey Bridge, were on." Robin whispered

"No SHIT Dipstick!"

"Watch as these two are tossed from our completely unsafe trapeze, and into this giant pool of acid! I'm sure it will have you all rolling in the isles!" -[bang] "Huh, what's this!"

"The only isles you'll be rolling in Mad Hatter, will be at Arkham Asylum!"

"Pfft! Has the Bat sent you off to sidekick pun school too?"

"Nevertheless, I'm certainly not gonna let you-[bang]" he gun was shot out of her hand by Hatter.

"Oh blah, blah, blah-Lunk! Jester! Dispose of Detective Wench over here."

"Yes boss!" The two guys from the bank job approached.

"And just to make this more interesting." Hatter pressed the button that launched Robin and Batgirl onto the trapeze.

"WHOOOOOOA!"

"Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God!" Robin closed his eyes.

"Ugh, if we can manage to stay on this-ugh, I think I can reach-ugh, one of my batarangs, so we can-ugh, cut the ropes." Batgirl struggled

"Works for me, just HURRY!" the two hung over the vat of acid.

"And speaking of rolling in the isles." Hatter said. He pressed another button, and a pinkish gas emitted itself from the ceiling. He and his henchmen quickly dawned gas masks. "With Joker's special laughing gas, this will turn all these people into our giggling zombie slaves! As will it you-huh?"

"No chance Tetch! I always carry a spare gas mask. Thank you CIT training!"

"ERGH! Boys, dispose of her!"

"Yes sir Mr. Hat!"

Meanwhile Batman was elsewhere in another darker tent, there was this definite creepy vibe to the whole thing that he didn't like at all. The lights suddenly came on. -AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! And that confirmed every suspicion.

"Joker." Batman said dryly.

"What's wrong Bats, not happy to see me?" he asked, Capt. Clown appeared next to the psychopath.

"What's the big scheme this time? You and Mad Hatter kidnap my sidekicks? Then brainwash the patrons into your zombies while watching them die, so while they terrorize Gotham, you two use the money you stole to skip town?"

"Nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah! Oh Batman, you never do cease to amaze me, do you? Except you left out one teensy-tiny little detail." Joker smirked

"Oh really, and that would be?" RIIIIIIIIIIP "UGH!"

Bane appeared from behind him after ripping a hole in the tent, and gave Batman a big Bear Hug.

"Eh Batman, miss me?"

"Bane? Well, for once, the supervillain finds me...first time for everything I suppose."

"Silencio! Time for you face...your doom!" He squeezed tighter.

"Yeah, we've been over this before." he stomped on Bane's foot.

"OOOOW!" he let go of Batman.

"And now for a little of this." he used some anti-venom to nullify the juice inside of him, and Bane returned to his normal slightly more manageable momma's boy DJ size. He handcuffed the sissy to a pole.

"I'll be back for you later."

"Okay...can you...you...at least get me a bandage!" he sobbed

"Yes well, this is so tremendously boring you morons! Oh well, never send a human to do a robot's job, cause I still have my-[crash]" Batman tossed a batarang which hit the clown right in the robotic mouth, he spun out of control, and then exploded-[ka-boom]

"You...You killed Captain Clown! YOU...KILLED CAPTAIN CLOWN!" Joker yelled exiting the tent in a hurry. Batman followed him out, only to be pelted by old cotton candy, and a bunch of other garbage.

"It's garbage day Batman-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Joker ran off to the big top. "Hey Batman! You stink so bad, I can smell ya from here!" he dashed into the big top. "Hatter!"

"It's okay, I've got everything under control-"

"Yeah-yeah whatever, just hand me the flame thrower."

"Okay."

"Perfect, time for a little extermination-hah-hah-hah-hah."

"HAHAHAHA-I-I-IAHAHAHA-Almost got it!" Robin yelled laughing like an idiot.

"Gr-gr-gr-!" Batgirl added

"Now, let's see how my-GASP-Lunk! Jester?" Courtney had already sududed the two of them.

"It's over Hatter-Hiyeah!"

"Ugh!" she kicked him down, and deactivated the gas. The crowd was still laughing. Meanwhile, elsewhere in the tent, Joker was trying to fry a bat.

"Games over Batman! And you're gonna melt just like a grilled cheese sandwich-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"I don't think so."

"Oh really, why do you say that?"

"Behind you."

"Huh." Batgirl tapped him on the shoulder, when he turned around, she clocked him one-WHACK "AH-unh...ugh-[thud]" the two had already gotten out of the trap and gave themselves treatment to the gas, whereas meanwhile, the crowd was still acting like zombies.

"Good job team, another case solved, but uh...were gonna...-"

"Were gonna need a lot more anti-venom." Robin added, noticing some of the people trying to leave the big top.

Later, the police and paramedics arrived to give proper treatment, and finally arrest the three culprits, oh and the other guys. Great movie!

"Well Detective Montoya, I gotta say, you're quite the brazen one." Batman said

"Yeah if it wasn't for you, squirt and I here would be dust." Batgirl said

"Ah, it's no trouble, it's pretty cool to actually help you guys out, now let's get those three out of here and back to arkham." she ordered one officer.

"Yes sir Detective!"

"THAT'S MA'AM!"

While Being transported, Joker will provide us with some ending narration.

"Well, we may lose for now...but once we get back to Arkham, we can begin phase 2."

"What's phase t-" Bane began

"Well, were planing a kangaroo like tri-"

"Don't tell him that yet you idiot, he's still green! Moron."

"I'm sorry GOSH!"

**THE END!**

**Alright guys, we got Red Claw up next, who is LOOOOOOOONG overdue for her debut, it's gonna be epic! But not as epic as the Trial coming up before. You. Know. It! PLEASE REVIEW! And stay tuned guys!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Courtney Montoya

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**Peter Oldring: **Robin

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Drew Nelson: **Joker

**Brian Fraud: **Mad Hatter

**Cle Bennett: **Bane

**Morgan Freeman: **Lucius Fox

**Mari Devon: **Summer Gleeson

**Jeff Bennett: **Jack Ryder

**Jess Harnell: **patron, various

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Mr. Meriwether, additional voices

**Grey DeLisle: **various patrons

**Corey Burton: **Lunk, various

**Carlos Alazaraqui: **Jester, additional voices

**GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY! **


	63. Crimson Claw, Part I

**Villain: Red Claw**

**Episode Archive: The Cat and the Claw Part II (1992)**

**Written By: Sean Catherine Derek, Laren Bright**

**Directed By: Dick Sebast**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 31: Crimson Claw**

Along the east borough bridge, Trent Wayne drives home from a long day at the office, while awaiting in the backed up toll line, he listens to the traffic report.

_And traffic will be backed up along the East Borough Bridge this evening, due to a stopped oil tanker in the middle of the bridge, it is facing horizonatally blocking the path of traffic-_

"Great, just what I need." Trent said turning off his radio. "Late for dinner, again, and I'll most likely be late for patrolling...again!"

While Trent waited in line. Down by the tanker, on the side facing away from the traffic, several well placed guerillas were poised for their attack.

"Alright, were all set here boss."

"_Good, now get out of there quickly, we need to make this look like an accident."_

Right boss, I'll be in touch, M3 out." he said "Alright guys, let's move it, in case any uninvited guests show up."

"Right."

"Gotcha." the three adjured to the nearby staircase which leads you to the catwalks beneath the bridge. "Come on." Once they were on the stairwell.

"Now for the accident." M3 chuckled. He pressed a button on a small remote.

[Ka-FWOOSH]

"Cool."

"Oh my God!"

"The Tanker!"

"Dear God!"

"Quick, someone call the fire department!"

A small bomb was activated which ignited all the fuel inside the tanker. The nearby backed up motorists abandoned their cars, and made a break for it. Back by the toll booths, Trent noticed the explosion.

"Well, looks like I'll be patrolling early after all." he smiled, he activated a smoke sequence, which made it difficult for people to see him change in his car.

The panicked citizens running away from the smoldering wreckage on the bridge would have taken no time to notice either. Anyhow, Batman swung his way on top of the bridge suspensions, and over to the wreckage. He then noticed the guerillas by the stairwell, about to make a break for it.

"Well, they certain;y look out of the ordinary." he said.

The henchmen, made their way into the small and dark labyrinth of catwalks, just 55' above the sketchy waters of Gotham Bay.

"Alright fellas, let's just get to a safer distance, then watch the fireworks."

"I'll drink to that." M2 added

"How bout you Ben...?"

"Ha-mgmnmhnmhmm-whoa-whoa-whooooooooooooa!"

"Ben?"

"BEN!"

[splash]

"...I'm okay..." they looked over the side to see their fellow comrade thrown from the catwalk and into the water.

"Whoa! You see that?" m2 asked

"I sure did...and I think we have unexpected guests." Good one Einstein.

"I'm gonna go check it out." M2 walked back into the darkness. Suddenly a bat hook came out of nowhere, and tied him up

"WHAT-WHOOOOOOA!" he then went sailing back up towards the bridge. Then he fell back down and hit the Catwalk hard-[thud] "Ugh!"

"Abdu? Abdu?" M3 turned around, and then he saw the terrifying Batman in front of him. "You!"

"Yes, now tell me-[rapid fire]" Batman was interrupted by the sound of machine gun fire from M3's AK-47. Batman was able to dodge everything and use his own gun against him, up close. By knocking him down to the floor.

"Tell me...why did you blow up that tanker?"

"Tanker, what tanker?" Batman then noticed a suspicious tattoo on hs right forearm, it was a bright red bear's claw.

"Hmm." in the midst of this Batman didn't notice he had stood up.

"Ha! You're too late Batman! Once I flip this switch, it's bye-bye bridge.

"No don't!" too late, by the time Batman knocked it out of M3's hand and into the water, it exploded.

"Frankie Don't-[BOOOOOOOOOOM]" M2 was too little too late.

The Bridge exploded right below the tanker fire. Taking a good portion with it. Batman just was able to hang onto the now broken and suspended catwalk on the final rail. M2, well...yeah, not so lucky at all. Whereas the other guy had a better foothold on the dangling catwalk by where it was connected to the unbroken area of the bridge.

"NOOOOO!" Batman yelled, with one hand on the rail. Feeling like he had nothing to lose, M3 drew his small .45

"So, this is how it ends, huh Batman-[bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-click-click]" he emptied the magazine, not a shot hit Batman. "Damn! Well, at least I'll know it was still a success, until next time Dark Knight!" he climbed up back onto the flat catwalk.

"Ugh." Batman groaned.

Later that evening inside the Bat-Cave. Batman was doing a little research on the events from that evening, strangely enough, that wasn't the only "accident" on a bridge or tunnel that evening.

"Son of a bitch."

"Stocks down again Master Trent?" Alfred asked

"No. Every bridge, and the two tunnels that get one onto Central Island have been completely destroyed, and I witnessed the destruction to the East Borough myself."

"You mean, all of them?" Alfred gasped "The East Borough, and West Borough bridge?"

"Gone."

"The William McKinley Tunnel?"

"Washed up."

"The John F. Kennedy Memorial Tunnel?"

"Damned."

"Your father's memorial bridge?"

"All gone Alfred, Central Island is now completely trapped, except for the ferry's. And they're done for the evening."

"Alright, think of it this way sir, what is on Central Island that this maniac wants so badly?" Alfred asked

"Well, there's Midtown, The Exchange District, Park Row, and Dawson Heights, oh; and the police HQ is on the island, it's the central Hub of Gotham City, any maniac would want to get his hands on it." Batman explained

"Whatever the case maybe, I should fly over to police HQ and find out if they know anything, cause right now the only clue I have is a guy with a red bear's claw tatoo."

"What?" Alfred gasped

"Something wrong Alfred?"

"That's the mark of Red Claw."

"Red Claw?" Batman asked

"He's a terrorist leader...back in my days in the Special Air Services I heard stories about their terrorist cell. They've brought small countries to their knees-their ruthless Master Trent. And I'm certain all menders have a bear's claw tattoo."

"And this 'Red Claw' is their leader?" Batman asked

"Positive. No one knows much about him, other then he must be insane."

"Terrorist, insane, yeah sounds like someone I would go after." Batman shrugged, approaching the Bat-Wing.

"Master Trent-"

"Don't worry Alfred I'll be careful, but thanks for the concern." he closed the cockpit, and flew out of the cave entrance. Alfred simply shook his head

"Oh Trent Wayne, someday you'll be the death of me."

Batman landed on the roof of the police building where the conveniently enough, the Bat-signal was already lit. Batman then found himself in Chris Gordon's office.

"Well, we heard about your story on the East Borough Bridge." Chis said

"Yeah."

"Well, why couldn't you stop them?"

"Commissioner I did what I could, these guys are nuts-"

"I'm kidding, jeez, in these situations you need some kind of comic relief, know what I mean?"

"...Sure."

"Alright Batman let me bring you up to speed." Chris got out a file.

"Red Claw. We don't even have a photo of the guy, but what we do know-"

"Is that he's a ruthless terrorist leader, who probably wants to cut off Central Island?"

"Uh...yeah...how did-"

"I'm just that good." Batman shrugged.

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight, well I'm sure you don't know that we caught one of them trying to escape from the JFK tunnel job."

"Did you?"

"Yeah, follow me." Chris led Batman to the interrogation room elsewhere inside the police Headquarters, they looked through the two way glass to see Bullock arguing with a quiet guy, with a full sideburns, mustache combo, slightly shaved, and a red headed buzz cut. He wore a tan shirt with some white stripes, a leather jacket, blue track pants, and timberline work boots.

"All we know about him, he goes by Bellic, his accent points out that he's Eastern European, he was involved with the JFK tunnel explosion, and he works for Red Claw, but otherwise he won't crack." Chris explained.

"Okay, lemme try and take a crack at him Chris."

"That's why you're here." Chris said, Bullock exited the room, angry.

"ERGH! Damn he won't crack!"

"Lemme give it a try Chef." Batman said walking in.

"Yeah good luck Pointy Ears, he's a freaking rock-and ah what's the use, he can't hear me."

"Uh commissioner, this DVD just arrived, I think it's something you should see, the mayor's here and everything." an officer said

"Oh jeez, I'll be right there."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**And a GOOD-A-FREAKIN NIGHT EVERYBODY!  
**


	64. Crimson Claw, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Batman sat down at the other end of the table...Now we engage in 2 minutes of silence.

"...Bellic-"

"So, you're Batman...must say, you...you are as gruesome as papers portray you." he said in a groggy Russian accent.

. . .

Chris entered the viewing room, where mayor Hill was already waiting.

"Commissoner Gordon."

"Hey mayor. I wish these were happier circumstances." the two shook hands

"I agree mayor, what exactly brings you here exactly?" Chris asked

"If you haven't noticed I can't get off this damn island."

"Yeah, alright let's pop this in." Chris inserted the DVD.

. . .

"Cut the crap you scumbag. Who is Red Claw? I know you're working for him!" Batman yelled slamming Bellic's head into the table.

"Ha-ha, you still think you're looking for man?" he chuckled

. . .

"_Attention, people of Gotham City. I am Eva Evanovich, but you losers can call me...Red Claw." she stepped from the shadows_

"What?"

"Shes a girl?"

. . .

"You mean...the most ruthless terrorist leader since May 2nd 2011...is a woman?"

"You sound surprised Dark Knight."

"Er-never mind, a sick mind has no gender barrier! Now, unless you wanna eat that table, you'll tell me your plan!"

. . .

"_If you morons haven't already noticed, all means of land transportation to passport through to Central Island have been completely blocked off. You might be wondering why?_

_. . ._

"Why?" Batman asked Bellic

"Easy, she wants you to pay some of the moneys so she won't sink your charming island to bottom of ocean-"

. . .

"SHE WOULDN'T!" Hill stood up

"_And unless you pay me $34,000,000,000 American by midnight tonight, at the train station; Gotham will fall like the Titanic-"_

_. . ._

"34,000,000,000?" Keep in mind, Bill Gates is worth 56 billion. That's A LOT of money, even for Trent Wayne's standards.

_. . ._

"_That's correct, 34,000,000,000; better hurry Gotham, cause the clock's-"_

_. . ._

"A-ticking." Bellic chuckled

. . .

The DVD ended.

"Well, that's it." Chris said ominously. "Mayor Hill, what are our options?"

"...There's only one man with that kind of money around these parts Commissioner..."

"Trent?"

"Trent. I'll put a call to his estate, meanwhile, see how Batman is doing on his interrogation."

"Yes sir." Chris exited the film room.

. . .

"AH-[crash]" batman slammed Bellic's head against the table again

"WHERE IS SHE!" Corner of 5052nd street

"Damn, could you slam face any harder? Jeez, I got faceprint in table, see!"

"Huh, really?" Don't fall for it Batman

"Yeah you asshole! Right here see?"

"Where, I don't see any-[slam]-Aw!"

"Psych!" Bellic leaped forward and dashed out of the room.

"I can't believe I fell for that one! HALT!" Batman chased after him "I bet Adam West and Kevin Conroy don't have these problems. STOP HIM HE'S GETTING AWAY!"

Bellic dashed through the police HQ running over anyone, and I mean ANYONE that stood in his way.

"Ah!"

"Hey!"

"Hey watch it!" Bellic saw the door in front of him, and made a break for it.

"Ha, nearly home free!"

"Freeze Bellic!" Batman yelled. With quick thinking, he hoped onto a nearby mail cart, and skateboarded his way towards the fugitive. "Bullock, stop him, he's getting away!" Batman shouted as the suspect flew right passed him.

"Roger!" Bullock drew his gun, and pointed it at his ever closing window of opportunity.

"Say goodnight buddy-[bang]"

"Nah...sh******t...ah...ach...ung-[thud]"

The round hit right down through Bellic's right shoulder, shattering his collarbone and collapsing his right lung. Among the several burst arteries was his gushing blood, the bullet actually pierced through to the other side of his skin.

Bullock, a pissed off Batman, Gordon and several other police officers gathered around the slowly dying, blood gushing from the mouth fugitive.

"Damn, thing packs a punch for a .38-smack-ow!" Bullock was interrupted by Batman hitting him upside the head. "What the hell was that for Cowl Head you said stop him, and that was me stopping him!"

"I didn't mean kill him you MORON! I was trying to get out of him why Red Claw is doing this to Gotham, and where she is! Oh by the way-"

"Shes a woman." Everyone else said in unison.

"Okay, I guess someone explained this all to you."

"Not all of it, we still don't know where Red Claw is or what shes doing." Chris said

"Well now we'll never-"

"Unh...[cough-cough]-Batman." Bellic said weakly.

"Ugh, he's really out of it, that would be the collapsed lung talking." Chef chuckled "Ow."

"Batman...cough...Red Claw...s-sewer."

"Figures, how else do you sink a city? But why?"

"She...cough...she...cough cough...she...just...-

"Cause I enjoy bringing countries to their knees that's why?" Red Claw yelled. As we cutscened quickly to the central mainframe of the sewer. The same place where Killer Croc had his debut. She was saying this to one of her stupid henchmen.

"Now, I want these explosives online, by our target date, or so help me I will snap all of your necks!" ah, same old Eva.

"YES SIR!"

"Good, now chop-chop, it's nearly-"

. . .

"11 o'clock, I'm calling it." Gordon said checking Bellic's dead pulse.

"We only got an hour!" Bullock complained

"No...I'm not letting this city go to pieces because of some psycho terrorist. I'm going." Batman made his way to the elevator.

Meanwhile Mayor Hill made a call to Wayne Manor, only to discover...

"_Good evening, Wayne Manor."_

"Alfred? Hi it's Mayor Hamilton Hill."

"_Mr. Mayor, good evening sir."_

"Oh how I wish it was. Listen, is Trent there?" he was

"_Oh, I-I'm so very sorry sir, Master Trent was uh, called away on urgent business I'm afraid."_

"No! Listen, see if you can call him, this is extremely urgent."

"_Yes sir Mr. Mayor I shall call him immediately." Alfred hung up_

"Dammit, all we can do now, is pray." Hill sighed

Meanwhile in the Batwing, Batman was flying his way to Midtown, where he believed underneath is where he would find Red Claw. Alfred gave him a buzz just to see what exactly was going on.

"Alfred?"

"_Master Trent, uh, Mayor Hill called-"_

"Lemme guess, he was wondering is Trent Wayne could lend him 34 billion dollars, right?"

"_Well no, he left out that minor detail, but it was leaning to an urgent message."_

"Well look, don't worry about it, I think I know where Red Claw is, oh and get this...he, is really a she."

"You're kidding, you mean all this time the whole British government, and most of Interpol, and the CIA have been looking for a man this whole time?"

"Looks like she had you fooled buddy, don't worry, I'm handling it." Batman smiled, he hung up.

. . .

"Ugh, does anyone say goodbye anymore?" Alfred asked

. . .

Batman reached the main manhole cover in Gotham City Square. Fortunately, there were no crazy frantic people in the street.

"Okay, let's see if Seth MacFarlane got this right for a change." Batman dropped two Bat bombs, which exploded the street, down to the sewer, the hole was big enough the the batwing to fly through

"Success!"

Batman flew into the sewers, and went in search of Red Claw.

Speaking of Red Claw, she and her henchmen were putting the finishing touches on the plan.

"11:45, almost time-[rumble]-what the? What's that noise, someone better answer me or I'll-"

"Boss, look!" One guerrilla pointed to the Batwing entering the main central Hub. Batman was quick to subdue the henchmen with his smoke gas emitted from the plane.

Cough!"

"Cough-cough!"

"Gee, you all look a little gassy, I can fix that!" the Bat wing landed, and the dark knight popped out.

"So, this is the Batman huh?" Red claw asked

She was wearing her usual workout attire, except in Red, there was one white highlight in her hair, and of course, the red claw tattoo on her left shoulder.

"Red Claw, I've heard much about you as well, like the fact that your completely insane! You'll fit right in at Arkham Asylum."

"Ha! I'm not going anywhere Bats! Except to some private island where I can use that money I'll get from the stupid citizens of Gotham! I might even throw the switch anyway, and watch this charming little island sink to the bottom of the ocean!"

"Yeah, I don't think so."

"Oh really? Well then you'll have to catch me first Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Catch me if you can!" she held up the remote and dashed into one of the sewer pipes.

"Come on, I don't have time for these games."

Batman chased in after her. The pipes were ridiculously dark, the only light source was the light from street level by the storm drains. Batman could hear Red Claw taunting him.

"So, once I blow up your charming island, will you be in such despair you might just drop dead?"

"Shut-up."

"Make me!"

"Oh I'll make you!" he activated his night vision. Only to discover she was a few yards in front of him.

"You've finally met your match Batman, not surprising, it's a woman!"

"I've said this before, a sick mind knows no gender limit."

"Well, maybe you're right, but...you'll soon learn, how superior my fighting skill are compared to yours!" she lunged. Only for Batman to throw her over his shoulders.

"What! Impossible! You can't even see!" yet how can you?" Anyway Batman matched her move for move.

"Take that!"

"No! This can't happen! I have brought entire countries to their knees! I am the queen of terror Red Claw! I am not going to let some...some guy in a Halloween costume ruin my most crowning acheive-[smack!]" he hit her so hard she fell unconscious. Batman stepped on the remote, deactivating the explosives.

"Man, I've known her for all of 10 minutes, and already can't stand her." he picked her up.

Batman made a quick pit stop to drop her off at Arkham.

"This isn't fair Batman, I will have, my REVENGE! I WILL!"

. . .

"Ah, the sweet sweet smell of justice." Batman smiled. "Commissioner, it's done."

"_I know, my men are removing the explosives as we speak, and the bridges are already in repair, the tunnels will start early tomorrow."_

"Good."

"_But since your awake you should know Poison Ivy took advantage of this situation, she escaped hours ago."_

"I'm on it." he ended the transmission. "And to think, hours ago I was stuck in traffic...Ah, I love my life."

And now we cutscene to the rec room in Arkham, where an angered Eva entered. The other villains were gathered round in a circle.

"A yes, you mut be the new girl, come in, come in, ake yourself not at home-ha-ha-ha." Duncan chuckled

"Can it, I'm not in the mood."

"Oh I'm sure you will be...cause we were just discussing our next fool proof plan to snuff the rodent once and for all...The trial of Batman-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-ah-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

**THE END**

**Yes! The Trial is finally up next! Just in time to end season 3. Thanks for reading guys, I ask you to PLEASE REVIEW! And get ready for the most exciting adventure yet. Quite frankly this is the best episode in the franchise in my opinion, only fair we make it right, okay, stay tuned guys. **

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Julia Chantrey: **Red Claw

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hill

**Michael Hollick: **Bellic

**Jason Marsden: **Police officer, M2

**Maurice LaMarche: **M3

**Dee Bradley Baker: **M1, additional voices

**Cree Summer: **Female henchmen, various

**Jim Cummings: **other police officers, additional voices

**Phil LaMarr: **additional voices


	65. The Trial, Part I

**Villain(s): Everyone except Ra's Al Ghul, Penguin, and Rupert Thorne **

**Episode Counterpart: The Trial (1994)**

**Written By: Paul Dini&Bruce W. Timm**

**Directed By: Dan Riba**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 32: The Trial (Part I)**

In the City Courthouse, Izzy awaits her verdict by the judge.

"The prisoner will stand." he ordered "Isabelle Lillian Isely, District Attorney Beth Van Dorn has asked that the maximum sentence of life in prison be imposed upon you. However, as your apprehension came at the hands of the Batman, and not a recognized agent of the law this court has no choice, but to return you to Arkham Asylum, where it is hoped you'll complete your rehabilitation."

Izzy smiled evilly at Van Dorn as the guards led her out of the courtroom.

. . .

She was led back to her cell at Arkham, where an over enthusiastic Lindsey was happy to greet her.

"Hi Red hi! Welcome home!"

"Hi Harley." Izzy sighed, she sat on her bed.

"Aw, things didn't go so well, huh?"

"Nope."

"Well cheer up kiddo! Word is were gonna throw a little party! And old Harold here's got the invitations." Harley pointed to the guards with 10/6 cards behind their ears, now under Harold's control.

Meanwhile Beth was getting an interview as she left the courthouse.

"_Not only does Batman create these so-called "super criminals" he takes it upon himself to be their judge and jury, with no regard for the legal system."_

"_It sounds like you wanna put Batman on trial?" the reporter asked_

"_Believe me I would like nothing better."_

Chris Gordon was watching the broadcast with Beth later that same evening.

"Strong words." Chris sneered

"It's got to stop Chris! As Gotham's new District Attorney, I can't allow to let your pet nut run loose in MY city." Beth insisted, Chris walked to one of the windows and lifted up a portion o the blinds

"Dammit Beth it's a war zone out there, and Batman is our best weapon."

"Well I think he's a drug the city keeps taking to avoid facing reality." As she said that, Batman entered through the other window, through the blinds. "Speak of the devil."

"The East Side Skulls are ready to declare war on the other gangs." Batman said

"Old news, my department has already planned a sting to catch the Skulls leader." Beth said proudly

"Don't bother." Batman pulled up the blinds.

And there, dangling 10 stories above the ground in front of them, was the leader of the East Side Skulls tied up and gagged.

"Very cute mister. You wanna support law and order so bad, you take off that mask and put on a uniform." Batman ignored the DA and swung out of Gordon's office. "You hear me Batman! THIS IS THE LAST TIME! Next time I see him ooooooh, it's gonna be a whole different story." Beth assured the Commissioner. She took the Batarang off the gangster for evidence.

Speaking of different stories, Beth sat at a window table at Gotham's trendiest Restaurant: '12th Floor' waiting for her date.

"Hello Trent." HAAAA!

"Beth, I'm so happy we could meet on such short notice." they took their seats "Seems everywhere I look there's our crusading DA out to rid our city of Batman."

"Oh please, he's the last person I want to talk about tonight." she said putting her glasses in a case with her initials on the cover.

"Sorry. Still even you have to admit Batman has done some good."

"Yes but look at the lunatic fringe he's created: Joker, Two-Face, Poison Ivy and all the rest. Batman's responsible for every one of them. In fact-"

"Excuse me Ms. Van Dorn, but your office called, they said it was urgent." their waiter said.

"Oh I'm sorry Trent, I won't be a minute." she got up...And shes right, she'll be several.

(Now I know what you're all thinking, and; this episode aired in 1994, cell phones were not popular at this time. It was very common for you to leave your babysitter or place of business the number of the place you were going to if there was a problem.)

Anyway, Trent waited for Beth to return, but to no avail. Usually he's the one making the girl wait. Anyway he finally flagged down his waiter.

"Excuse me, have you seen Ms. Van Dorn?"

"Not in the las half hour sir-"

"Look!"

"Must be trouble!"

"It's the Bat-Signal."

"I can't belive."

"I've never seen that before." Trent noticed the Bat-Signal lit. he was ted no time suiting up, and making his way to the roof. Chris was there to greet him, with Beth's glasses case.

"It's Van Dorn's, was dropped on my desk about an hour ago, along with this." he handed Batman a note, written in serial killer stickers.

Batman,

Come to where lives hang in the balance, or the law in Gotham dies;

Yours in crime,

The Riddler. 

Batman easily deciphered that this meant the courthouse. He jumped into the enclosed courtyard in the middle of the complex. And in the middle of that, a stone statue of lady liberty, Justice. Anyhow Batman noticed a standing masked figure by one of the doorways.

"You there! Come into the light!" he ordered...no answer. "I said-[thud-cracksh]" Batman lunged at the specter. Nearly knocking himself out, he took off the coat to see the ACTUAL statue, now crackd from the fall.

"What in the-[chok-pit]-UNH!" suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his left shoulder. He tore the arrow out of his cape, becoming woozy, twas obviously tipped with a knockout saran He then saw Poison Ivy take off the statue disguise, her wrist crossbow still aimed at the Caped crusader.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha! Your ours Batman!"

"Don't bet on it!" He grabbed a tracking device, which activates with two Bat wings popping out. "Wait a sec...all ours-[kick]" he was interrupted by the sound of Harley Quinn kicking the dvice from his hand.

"Oh." he groaned

"Aw no ya don't-[kick]" she followed with another kick to the face. "Ta-da!" only for Batman to grab her by the bells, and toss her a good few yards. "Whoa-AAAAAAH-thud." and right into Ivy.

Unfortunately Batman was far too weak to do anything else. He hit the floor, fading fast, as he watched the two psycho girls approach him, chuckling evilly. Then he blacked out.

Anyway, Beth found herself inside a cell inside Arkham, she angrily banged on the cell door.

"Let me out! Do you hear me, I said-!" suddenly the door opened, Beth gasped on who she saw enter.

"Welcome to Arkham, Van Dorn."

"Two-Face!" she dashed for the door.

"Don't bother screaming for help, the white coats can't hear you...matter of fact they can't do much of anything, thanks to the Mad Hatter." she noticed some inmates toss old tomatoes at the doctors and guards under Hatter's control. Dr. Bartholomew got nailed in the head.

"You're gonna escape?" Beth asked with despair

"Eventually, we got some legal business to take care of first." Two-Face smirked

"What do you mean?"

"I'm talking about, a trial. Me the prosecutor, you the defense...and your client-[snap]...is Batman." Killer Croc dragged him in. Batman was struggling to get out of the straitjacket he was in.

Anyway, they left, which gave Batman and Beth some time to go over their strategy...or more or less, Beth bitching and moaning over their situation.

"This is crazy, me defending you. As far as I'm concerned, you belong in here with them."

"Ugh-whatever! You've gotta go through with it, it's their game and their rules." Batman warned her. Suddenly the door opened again.

"let's go, move it." Croc ordered. Hatter was also with them.

"Indeed, can't keep the judge waiting, no matter how annoying he is." Hatter added. Croc grabbed Batman, and Two-Face led them closer and closer to the clamoring of people which got louder and louder.

"You said it yourself Beth, Batman created every one of us." Two-Face said flipping his coin

"So, were placing him before the bard, to face our justice." Hatter added

"And me?"

"Basic 50/50 option...you get him off, you both go free...he goes down, you take the fall with him."

"Amusing idea what? Kidnapping you to be Batman's attorney." Hatter said

"Personally I suggested a quick slug between the eyes; but I lost the coin toss." Two-Face groaned. Suddenly two double doors opened, and they appeared in the large amphitheater, with a second floor of seating and a large skylight on top. The whole room was set up like a courtroom, and the defendents were led to their table. Harley came over wearing Batman's utility belt, which he just realized he no longer possessed. She began to taunt him.

"I borrowed your belt Bats but it doesn't do a thing for me...plus it totally clashes with my outfit." Anyway Croc, with help from Scarecrow; chained Batman to his chair to just make sure he couldn't get away. Beth sat next to him.

Batman narrowed his eyes, all the prisoners chanting, ALL his rogues in the jury. Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, Mr. Freeze, Killer Croc, Harley Quinn, Riddler, Gray Goblin, Catwoman, Heather Al Ghul, Penguin, Bane, Mad Hatter, and Red Claw. With the Ventriloquist&Sadieface posing as the bailiff, and of course Two-Face as the Prosecuting Attorney...Joker was nowhere to be seen.

Anyway, The Ventriloquist stepped forward.

"Oiyay , oiyay." she said quietly...I have NO idea what that means.

"She said oiyay dirtbags dummy up!" Sadieface yelled to quiet them down.

"Thanks Sadie."

"No problem. Okay people! Court is now in session, the good people of Arkham Asylum verses the self righteous vigilante called Batman! Our prosecutor is ready! Likewise our fair, and impartial jury."

"Hang him!"

"Shoot him!"

"Freeze him!"

Puzzle him!"

"Strangle him!"

"Take all his money-Ah-Choo!"

"Crush him!"

"Squash him."

"Nuke him!"

"Hit him with a rock!" Wonder which villains said what.

Anyway Batman was too busy doing two things, looking for Joker, and wondering why Catwoman and Heather were giving him goo-goo eyes.

"And now all rise for the most benevolent, most honorable, judge Joker!" Sadie announced. Well, that solves that one problem. Joker entered to the sound of his annoying carnival theme music. and took to the podium. He wore a stereotypical judges clothing, and the wig.

"Guilty!" he shouted

"Hey, I was promised a chance to defend my client!" Beth yelled back

"Oh very well, like it'll make a difference babe-Mr. Prosecutor, what's your opening statement?" Joker asked. Two-Face walked forward.

"Look at us...were all freaks and monsters...and ho made us this way? BATMAN!" Everyone cheered, Two-Face walked over to Beth

"Go on Bethy, defend him if you can, call the first witness amiga!"

"Yo Hat, on the stand." Sadie ordered. Hatter took to the stand, as Scarecrow led Beth to Joker.

"Proceed counselor." Joker said happily. Beth knew she just had to act as though this was an actual trial.

"I suppose you, like your friends think Batman drove you to be a criminal?" she asked

"He did."

"And as I recall your case, you brainwashed and kidnapped an innocent girl who rejected you?"

"Well I wouldn't say reject, more as a friendly slap to the face, and Batman forced me to do it, he was gonna take her away from me, I had no choice."

"Well gee you could have respected her wishes and let her go."

"I'd of killed her first! … Oh, IDIOTS!" he turned to Joker. "I'd like that last statement stricken from the record please."

"Pipe down Doris-[slap"

"Nyeah!" Joker slapped Hatter down

"Wait a sec...you mean, is someone supposed to be writing this down?" Joker asked Beth walked back to her table

"This is crazy."

"That's beside the point, just keep it going."

**To Be Continued!**

**Alright guys, were gonna get into the nitty gritty with the interrogations next, and see these villains true colors-NOT! PLEASE REVIEW!**


	66. The Trial, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

The police were investigating the scene at the courthouse, Commissioner Gordon, was quick to find the Bat-Tracking Device. Several of the pieces have broken off.

"It looks like Batman's hunch was wrong, there's no sign of him or miss Van Dorn." Courtney Montoya told him.

"Now don't count your chicks before they hatch Montoya, look; he was here alright, see."

Now we cutscene back to the Arkham courtroom, where Harley took to the stand...canoodling with Judge Joker.

"I object to this witness, shes obviously trying to influence the judge!" Beth fumed.

"What makes you say that?" Joker asked as if it were a huge joke

"Never mind, do you have a statement Quinn?" Beth asked

"I just wanna say, if there was no Batman, there's be no Joker, and I'd never have met my dear sweet Puddin.' Thank you Batman!" Harley waved

"Sad isn't it? Lindsey Quinzel used to be a doctor here at Arkham until the Joker twisted her mind." Beth said addressed the less then enthusiastic jury.

"Ha! Your just jealous cause you don't have a fella that's as lovin' or as loyal to ya like my puddin' is to me." she cooed. Joker blew her a kiss, and Harley melted in her seat.

"Uh-huh, so I guess that's the same loyalty I saw the last time you escaped, and puddin' here-"

"D'oh." Joker's eyes went wide.

"Finked on you in hopes of getting some time off...ha, like that's possible." Joker's goose was officially cooked.

"Is...that true, Puddin?" Harley asked

"Uh...well, finked is...is-is such a strong word-D'oh!" he was cut off by Harley grabbing him by the collar and violently shaking him

"You lousy scum sucking creep!"

"The witness is excuuuuuuuuuuused!" Joker begged. Croc grabbed Harley and drug her from the courtroom.

"I'll wipe that grin off your disgusting face!"

"Knock it off lady!" Croc warned her.

"Alright, whose next...?" Beth asked "The defense calls...Tyler Fries to the stand." Mr. Freeze sat at the bench.

"Now Tyler, can you point out to me the person who drove you to be a criminal, in this courtroom?"

"As a matter of fact, it is that SCUM over there, The Gray Goblin!"

"Ah-CHOO! Go ta Hell Ty-ty-ty-AH-CHOO!" Gray sneezed "Bless me."

"Freeze, what are you doing?" Joker whispered

"If it wasn't for him I'd be at home with my wife right now, BUT; if it wasn't for Batman, Gray Goblin wouldn't exsist, I rest my case...However, Batman did help save Nora from his clutches...so, 50/50 toss-up, you could appreciate that, can't you Al?"

"F*ck off Freeze boy." Two-Face sneered.

"Alright, who wants to go next?" Beth asked

"I'll go." Gray shivered, taking the bench. "F-f-f-forgive me-ah-choo-[sniffle]-they...they just-just thawed me out yy-y-y-y-yest-er-day, gotta nasty co-co-c-c-c-oool-AH-CHOO! Cold."

"So, who exactly made you become the Gray Goblin?"

"Stan Lee. I was watching Spiderman at the time, however, twas Batgirl and Catwoman that drove me insane!" He grinned looking at Catwoman who just stuck her tongue out at him. "But, I rest my ca-AH-CHOO-case-[sniffle-sniffle]"

"I see, next?" Beth asked cleaning off her glasses "How bout you professor Crane?"

"Gladly Counselor, eh." he said taking his seat.

"Now, I believe your claim to fame was scaring all of Gotham University?"

"Correct."

"Yes, and this was Batman's fault, how?"

"If it wasn't for him-WHOSE AFRAID OF MIMES-eh? I would have succeeded."

"Screw you Scarecrow! Those things are freaky as hell man!" Batman fumed

"Order-order!" Joker slammed the gavel. "Now-now Bats, you best simmer down or I'll hold you in contempt of court." he playfully warned.

"Grr."

"Anyway, how exactly did Batman drive you to become a criminal?"

"Well he...he...F*ck you." Scarecrow sat back down.

"What about you Miss Evanovich?" Beth asked Red Claw

"Pass I know I'm insane, not his fault."

"You moron!" Joker yelled

"Ah shut up Clown! Or I'll snap your neck!"

"You ever been strangled by your own laughter?" Joker asked

"Uh...no thanks." she answered nervously "Uh B-B-B-Bane, wanna go next?"

"Alrighty." Bane took to the bench.

"Mr. Bane...what's your real name, can you point that out to the court please?" Beth asked

"Uh...it's kinda personal."

"Need I remind you sir you are under oath."

"But I uh...er, D-Devon Joseph Hughes."

"You big idiot your not under any oath, lie-LIE!" Joker ordered

"I-I can't! Momma always taught me to never lie! Batman never created me! It was all my fault!" he sobbed walking away...Joker slammed his head on the bench.

"Well then...Mr. Nygma?" Beth asked

"Why certainly Attorney Van-"

"NO ME!" Heather insisted jumping into the seat.

"Or, Ms. Al Ghul can go, that's perfectly fine...and rude." Riddler groused.

"First off-Hi Beloved!" she blew Batman a kiss. Catwoman simply mocked her and rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I loved Batman so much, I stole from his company, helped my father destroy the world, and offered to be his prisoner, simply to be with him, so yes...he did drive me to become a criminal, cause I was so smitten with him." Batman's eyes went wide

"What did you mean by you, stole from his company?" Beth asked

"Oh uh..." Heather just realized what she had done "It's a...sex term?"

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiight, she "stole from his company" Nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" Joker laughed "Jeez Bats, you sure know how to pick em..."

"Whew." Batman and Heather sighed.

"Yeah I'm not good with sex terms." Heather chuckled nervously.

"I see, now Riddler-"

"No me!" Catwoman jumped into the bench.

"Rude." Riddler crossed his arms.

"Batman never drove me to be criminal...like Mr. Boyle over here, passion, and greed did...I just enjoy the chase cause I just can't stand to be without him. Case closed." Catwoman gave him a wink and plopped back into the jury box.

"NOW IT'S MY TURN!" Riddler yelled jumping at the bench.

"Noah Edward Nygma, the Riddler, hmm; funny you look different not trying to strangle Daniel Mockridge, the true man who cheated you, drove you insane, and caused you to become the Riddler!" Beth yelled

"Well yes, you sure know...your...SHIT! Joker, can you get rid of that statement please?"

"What am I, a freaking Ipad? Take your seat Dumbass." he said annoyed.

"K."

"Alright, whose left..."

"Okay, shes calmed down a little." Croc said walking back in with Harley."

"Ah Killer Croc, just in time, take the bench please." Beth ordered

"What'd I miss?" he asked

"So, can you point out exactly who drove you insane?"

"Yeah it was Courtney Montoya-"

CROC!" Everyone fumed

"Huh, what? Oh right." Croc walked away. "Joker can I change my-"

"NOOO! You can't change your statement! You know why idiot? Because we have NO ONE to write it down? Look you want your stupid statement changed, here!" Out of nowhere Joker grabbed out an age old typewriter.

"Oh boy."

"DO IT YOURSELF-[Clunk]"

"Ouch."

"And last but not least-"

"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Poison Ivy cartwheeled into the seat. "Like that Harl, that was for you sexy."

"Oh thanks Red, at lest SOMEONE appreciates me." Harley added glaring at an uninterested Joker.

"So it's Batman that made you live a life of crime, huh?" Beth asked

"He should have let me rub out Alejandro Dent, we'd all have been better off, wouldn't we Al?" she asked with a smirk

"Ah, you rotten little-" Two-Face muttered flipping his coin.

"But Ms. Isley, isn't your true criminal nature derived from your love of plants? That you prefer them to people?"

"Now I love plants honey, but a rose, is a rose."

"Well then, I guess it wouldn't bother you if someone, let's say the judge here, ruthlessly plucks, an innocent rose, from the lush green earth." she said taking the rose of Joker's lapel.

"No." Ivy seemed uninterested.

"Even though he's given it his death sentence, its petals falling, one by one-"

"Stop it." Ivy sneered

"One by one till it's all gone honey-" Beth tore the rose apart

"AHHH! MURDERER!" Ivy yelled jumping onto Beth! Scarecrow and Hatter pulled the psycho off the DA.

"Ms. Isley, please." Hatter begged putting her back in her seat. Beth, unphazed stood up.

"I used to think Batman created all of you, but I see now you all would ended up the same, Batman or not, oh sure the gimmick might be different, but you'd all be there somehow, causing mayhem to the people of Gotham, the defense rests."

Anyway, in Montoya's car, Chris and Chef were fiddling around with the tracking device.

"If only I knew how this damn thing worked." Chris complained

"Let me try Commish."

"No Chef you'll only break it!"

"Aw come on."

"No Lieutenant! That's an order!"

"Aw, never lets me have any fun." Chef complained

"Oi." Courtney rolled her eyes.

. . .

"Jury, you've heard the evidence, consider your verdict." Joker said. The jury muttered to each other.

"You're honor, in light of Miss Van Dorn's sterling defence, we have no choice but to find the defendant, Batman...Not, guilty." Hatter announced.

"Amazing." Beth said amongst the boos of the other inmates. Joker just clapped.

"Well done Counselor, you discovered that it wasn't Batmna who created us, that we in tern ruined our own rotten lives." he smirked

"I gotta bad feeling about this." Batman whispered.

"And since we are so rotten, vile and depraved...were gonna waster you anyway!"

"YEAH!"

"KILL EM!" everyone cheered, except for Batman and Beth.

"[stuttering]-That's all folks, let's mambo-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Joker slammed his rubber chicken gavel.

Batman and Beth were removed from the courtroom, and down a long hall. They passed a tomato covered Dr. Bartholomew.

"Help us please!" Beth begged, no help.

Two doors opened, to a large room, with an angled lethal injection table. I'm not even sure if a sanatorium is even allowed to execute, but; whatevs. Croc strapped Batman in.

"Let me go!" Beth ordered. Ivy and Harley gave her, her wish and dropped her to the ground.

Joker stepped in wearing executioner's clothing now...he pat a happy Harley on her head. Catwoman and Heather whispered to each other.

"What are we gonna do, we can't let them kill him." Heather said

"I know, just lemme think Heather." Then as they said that, Beth remembered the Batarang she had from earlier.

"And now for the final confession, the big secret you've hidden from us for so many years! Brothers and sisters at long last I give you, the man behind the bat."

"Well I would like to finally see that." Catwoman shrugged.

"Oh no." Heather bit her fingernails as Joker's hands went for the cowl, and started to pull...

**TO BE CONTINUED...End of Part I**

**End of Season 3...**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Courtney Montoya

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Sarah Gadon: **Beth Van Dorn

**Drew Nelson: **Joker

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Harley Quinn, The Ventriloquist

**Brian Fraud: **The Mad Hatter

**Adam Reid: **Killer Croc

**Cle Bennett: **Bane

**Mark Hamill: **The Gray Goblin, Joker's Laugh, Waiter

**Laura Lipson: **Sadieface

**Marco Grazzini: **Two-Face

**Katie Crown: **Posion Ivy

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Catwoman

**Carter Hayden: **Riddler

**Rachel Wilson: **Heather Al Ghul

**Peter Oldring: **Mr. Freeze, Scarecrow

**Julia Chantrey: **Red Claw

**John DiMaggio: **Judge

**Diane Pershing: **reporter

**Jeff Bennett: **additional voices

**Mae Whitman: **additional voices


	67. Author's Note II

PRELININARY Episode guide for Season 6 ENJOY! Comments always welcome

**SEASON 6**

**(1) Bleed No Mercy: Nurse Pain (Intro) -** a battle with Scarecrow, leaves Batman injured, so he is taken to the local hospital and is given treatment by Trent Wayne's dear family friend Surgeon Dr. Leslie Tompkins (Kath Soucie). While laid up Batman is visited by a deranged nurse at the hospital named Harleen Quinzel (Arleen Sorkin). Sister to Lindsey Quinzel. Batman will be forced to fight his way out of the hospital and away from Nurse Pain's traps, while at the same time, recovering and keeping his identity a secret.

**(2)**The Lost Episode: Joker, Harley Quinn (rewrite of Joker's Favor)- **Mild Mannered average Joe, Charlie Collins (Ed Begley Jr.) accidentally curses The Joker on the freeway assuming he was just a rude motorist. Fearing for his life he makes a deal with the psychopath. Two years pass and Charlie-after changing his name and address-is called by Joker for the favor, a small job in ruining Chris Gordon's testimonial. Batman will have to save two lives in order to stop the mayhem.

**(3) Lock-down: Lock-up, The Exterminator, Count Vertigo, Dr. Hans Steinreich-**The four team up, after realizing the torment that the costumed villains bring to Gotham. They devise a full proof plan to keep them locked up for good while at the same time keeping them miserable. Deep in an underground prison below the city. The Bat Team will have to stop the mad plot, with some unexpected help from-Alfred?

**(4) Earth Year?: Ra's Al Ghul, Poison Ivy-**Ra's takes it upon himself to break Poison Ivy out from Arkham. Knowing of her love of plants he devises a plan for the two to have a free Utopian earth. However, Ivy's plans, even exceed Ra's level of insanity. Now more crazy then ever, it will take The Bat team and Heather to free Ra's from her clutches and stop Ivy from making it a plant's world after all.

**(5) Game Over: The Gray Goblin, Catwoman, Riddler, The Mad Hatter:**Escapee Ferris Boyle unfreezes his assets and spends a good deal of them in reformed Noah Nygma's latest video game "Cat Chasers" Gray wants revenge on Catwoman- considering Mr. Freeze's disappearance in the Season 5 finale-she will have to do. Mad Hatter implants microchips inside the game to give the players the only goal to eliminate Catwoman. She, Batman, and Nightwing, must ward them off and stop the deadly video game craze.

**(6) Lovers' Quarrel: Catwoman, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Red Claw, Heather Al Ghul, Ms. Freeze, Nurse Pain, The Ventriloquist-**Every female villain-with the exception of Bionica- falls for Batman on valentines day, each assuming he likes her the best. This turns into a deadly game of "I saw him first!" And this leaves the dark night with almost no one to turn to. He can't even trust Batgirl, meanwhile Alfred goes on a blind date to try to get the spark back in his life again.

**(7)**Catwalk: The Ventriloquist&Sadieface, Catwoman (Rewrite of Catwalk)-**Paroled on bail, Catwoman goes to a gala hosted by Veronica Vreeland (Jennifer Hale). Jealous of her jewelry and angry at her grandpas game hunting exploits, she cuts a deal with the Ventriloquist to steal them, only for it to be a trap. Batman must stop the Ventriloquist and Sadieface while at the same time rebuild Gwen's shattered life, only for this to not go well at all

**(8) Thrice the Chaos: The Terrible Trio (Intro)-**Three former dismissed police officers: Clark O'Connor (S. Scott Bullock) Jason Cratcheville (Billy West) and Trevor Naples (Rob Paulsen) swear revenge against Chris Gordon for firing them. They don their new persona's and try to take over the police force. They will not only have to deal with the Bat team, but also Harvey Bullock's two brothers, one biological, one adopted: Andre (Kevin Michael Richardson) who is biological and the abrasive Carlo (Robert Costanzo) adopted. With Chris Gordon's dad Jim Gordon (Bob Hastings) and Courtney Montoya's youthful niece Carly Montoya (Tara Strong)

**(9) It Came From Gotham Rock: Jack Denton, Sara Truesdale, Scarecrow, Killer Croc-**Cody Drake and Bridgette Gordon are forced on camping trips by their respectful guardians because...well, the deal was good. Around a campfire their camp director Scott (Jess Harnell) tells the campers two tales of a former evil camp counselor Jack Denton (Dee Bradley Baker) and fallen camper Sara Truesdale (Tress MacNeille). The tales seem true, Batgirl and Robin go on a Scooby-Doo like quest to find out who the mysterious villains are, they turn out to be none other then a plot by the Scarecrow, and Croc who were doing a little experiment. (Batman is absent 90% of the episode)

**(10) The Killing Joke (Part I): Joker, Harley Quinn-**Joker won't admit it but he can't quite shake the feeling that Batman always has an edge over him. Later discovering the edge is Nightwing. Harley is captured soon after and discloses the plot to Batman, Batgirl, and Robin at the police station. While Nightwing fights Joker as a construction site. Joker flees in defeat and Nightwing thinks he's won. However, it's a trap as Joker learned his true identity being Geoff Grayson in the fight. He goes to Wayne Manor, and mortally wounds Geoff, laughing all the way. (Joker does not ever find out anymore identities.)


	68. The Trial, Part III

**Villain(s): Everyone except: Ra's Al Ghul, Penguin, Rupert Thorne**

**Episode Archive: The Trial (1994)**

**Written By: Paul Dini&Bruce W. Timm**

**Directed By: Dan Riba**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 33: The Trial, (Part II): Escape From Arkham Asylum**

_Previously on Total Drama Batman-_

"_You hear me Batman! This is the last time!"_

"_Seems everywhere I go, there's our crusading DA, out to rid our city of Batman."_

"_Word is were gonna throw a little party-"_

"_It's Van Dorn's, was dropped on my desk about an hour ago, along with this."_

"_I'm talking about, a trial; me the prosecutor, you the defense, and your client-[snaps]-is Batman."_

"_You get him off, you both go free, he goes down, you take the fall with him."_

"_We find the defendant Batman, not guilty."_

"_There's no sign of him or Ms. Van Dorn."_

"_Were gonna waste you anyway!"_

"_Brother's and sisters, I give you, the man behind the bat."_

. . .

Acting fast Beth quickly chucked the Batarang at the light above, the room went black just before Joker could take off Batman's cowl.

"What!"

The room went Quiet. Two-Face quickly lit his Zippo and gave the room a quick scan...he quickly noticed Batman had escaped.

"He's gone!"

"Oh no."

"Great!"

"Everybody fan out! Don't let him get away!" Two-Face ordered.

"Who says I'm leaving?" Batman asked out of nowhere

"Oh crap!"

"That vermin is loose!"

"No Sh*t Boyle we all heard him!"

Harley carelessly backed into Batman in the dark, he grabbed her

"Huh-mhmnmhmnmhmnmm!"

"Keep looking, there's no way he got far!" Bane ordered

"Nobody panic!" Two-Face yelled. They turned their attention to the table, where dangling upside down, was Harley, also gagged.

"Okay, start panicking." Joker added. Croc walked in front of the door.

"Ergh! The only way out is through me!"

"Gee thanks Croc, I feel soooo safe now." Ivy complained.

"Oh hush Izzy, I'm sure Croc will be able to-"

"Hey[pow]"

"-Never mind." Freeze groaned

"That's it, I've had it!" Joker grabbed Sadieface's mini Tommy gun.

"Hold on, you'll hit Croc!"

"What's your point?" -[rapid fire]. Joker fired all across the room, as Batman dodged it all, he barely missed Harley, who glared at him.

"Hey! Watch where your shooting clown!" Croc yelled pointing to the eelectric engine, which had several bullet holes in it. KA-BOOM-ZAAAAP "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" It shocked Croc, he hit the floor, knocked out.

"T-Tuesday's...A-a-applesauce day."

"Come on." Batman grabbed Beth's hand in the confusion, and the two darted from the room.

"Their getting away!" Riddler yelled

"Thank you General Obvious!" Gray groaned

"Gray, I believe it's Captain Obvious, eh?" Scarecrow corrected

"Go f*ck yourself Crane."

Batman and Beth made their way to an intersection in the hallways, as the horde of inmates chasing them diverged elsewhere. One one of the walls, was a map of the facility.

"Alright, let's see what we have here." Batman studied the map

"You mean to tell me you've been here a million times, and you know nothing about this place?" Beth asked

"Hey normally I'm just the delivery guy, in case you haven't noticed, this ain't exactly a 'normal' evening for me."

"I doubt any evening is a 'normal' evening for you...your welcome by the way."

"Huh? Oh right, the old Batarang-breaking-the-light-to-cover-my-escape-from-the-creeps-trying-to-unmask-me trick...nicely executed...for a rookie that is." he smirked

"Did you just...smile?"

"Eh, happens from time to time. Now, were on the fourth floor, east wing, upper building from the mid-line crevice unfortunately, we could not be anymore far away from the main exit at this point." Batman said scratching his chin. "The shortest distance would be to get down to the third floor, so we can cross the bridge separating the buildings across the crevice, then make a beeline through that main hallway down to floor one, then it's just a-"

"HE'S OVER HERE!" A prisoner yelled from down the hall

"And, looks like were running again, let's go!" Batman grabbed a smoke pellet and tossed it to the ground to cover their retreat.

"Cough-cough-cough!"

"Where are ya?"

"Where is he?"

"WHERE'S THE FREAKIN BAT!"

Batman and Beth darted into a cell block...this for some reason was ungodly cold.

"Brrrrr...w-w-where, w-w-where are we?" Beth asked

"Must be cold storage...which means there's only one guy that could be living here...or would want to." They approached the cold cell of Mr. Freeze, who had returned from the execution room.

"Tyler?"

"Oh, if it isn't you."

"So this is where they keep you, huh...oh, I see you got to keep Nora." He said pointing to the cryogenic freezer containing his wife.

"Yes, you know I guess I kind of owe it to you for helping me save her...which is why I am choosing to spare you, for now...and for that matter, I guess I owe Boyle a little bit as well." he grabbed a tennis ball from his desk. Which bounced into his head "Ow. But listen, if I was you, I would run cause they're closing i-"

"I think he's this way!"

"Crap!" The two left the cell only to be surrounded. This was led by Bane, and Scarecrow, and a whole bunch of inmates.

"Ha, we got em now!"

"Say goodnight." Bane added

"Beth stay down." Batman grabbed an unusual batarang and aimed it at the side where Bane was.

"What are you-[zzzzzzzzzoooooooommmmm]-Whooooooooa-[crash]"

"Like it, the sonic booooomer, knocks anyone in it's path to the nearest wall."

"Impressive, now, we should run." Beth suggested

"Agreed."

"Come on, get him!"

The two sprinted across the bridge, that led over the endless crevice that separated both the buildings.

"Whoa?"

"Afraid of heights are ya?" Batman asked

"Well when they're this high!"

"Come on, were almost halfway there."

"Great, how reassuring."

The two entered another cell block, only this one seemed to be more ominous.

"W-where are we now?" Beth asked

"Must be the girl's wing. See look, there's Quinn's cell." Batman pointed to the cell, all decked out in pink, with a million pictures of Joker in it, and tons of makeup.

"And see, that must by Ivy's." the only 'green' cell.

"I wonder where they-whoa!" Suddenly huge vines from the ceiling came down and grabbed the two. Pulling them upwards, Harley, Ivy, and several other female inmates joined in. Surprisingly, The Ventriloquist, and Red Claw were not among them.

"Well-well, look what my babies have caught today Harley girl." Ivy smiled with her arm around Harley.

"Tsk-tsk-tsk-boy, you just can't trust pesticides these days Red, there's always those few pesky-pesky bugs that just eat their way through."

"I know, a travesty, isn't it...wouldn't you say girls?" Ivy asked her cronies.

"Yes Ivy."

"Oh cute, you taught them to speak in unison, tell me something Ivy, do they make sandwiches simultaneously too?" Batman asked

"Well actually-hey wait a minute...hmm-hmm-hmm, your a clever little bat aren't you?"

"Eh, I try."

"Watch it Red, he's got to have some trick up his sleeve." Harley warned

"I know I know, I'm just trying to think of what it is."

Little did Ivy know Batman was simply stalling for time so Gordon and the police cold show up (who by the way is still fiddling around with the tracking device). When in the rafters, Heather was utilizing her own plan.

"Now, let's see if Daddy's little reverse engineering potion is worth me taking the materials from the Lazarus Pit." she whispered.

[crack-crackle-fizz]

"Hey, what's going-"

"What the, Red!"

"Ivy, what are you doing!"

"This is so not cool!"

"It's not me!" Ivy's vines suddenly tied her, Harley and the other two up, letting Batman and Beth, go.

"Well, that was convenient."

"Yeah you're telling me. Remind me to thank the Warden for listening to me on my request for vine reverse engineering sprinklers." he said patting Ivy on the head, she only pouted.

"Hey, there he is! Grab em eh!" Came Scarecrow's voice, he and his crew, were far on the other end of the hall, behind the open doors, which Batman cleverly threw a Batarang against the open button, which in turn closed the door, trapping them on the bridge

"Hey, wait-[slam]"

"Well, that's one way to do it." Batman said

"Beloved, wait!" Heather jumped from the rafters

"Heather?"

"The one and only, and by the way, you're welcome for the little reverse engineering potion."

"THAT WAS YOU!" the girls spat

"Oops, probably should said that later."

"Oh, so the warden didn't take my request-"

"No he...kinda laughed about it after you left...but I'm sure he'll listen now, oh and YOU can thank Daddy for the potion he created it."

"Well, if Ra's does still exist, then I guess I owe him one, as will I you." He gave Heather a kiss, while at the same time maneuvering her to her cell. Closing the door

"Hey!"

Catch ya later Heather, ladies, I'll be seeing ya-NOT!"

"Ergh! I HATE YOU!" Harley shouted

"Love ya too." Beth waved sarcastically.

"Farewell Beloved." Heather called, only to get dirty looks from the girls. "Again, oops."

They made their way through another empty cell block, only to run into a happy familiar face.

"Batman, over here."

"Dr. Bartholomew?" he was assisted by two guards.

"Yeah, lucky Hatter's card fell off, I managed to find two of my own as well, this is Lucky."

"Hey."

"And Mike."

"Batman."

"Come on, I'll see that we all find our way out safely, fortunately, I know every little short cut in this place." Bartholomew assured them.

"Good, where to?" Batman asked delighted

"The air ducts, this way please." they entered the ducts, just as some prisoners walked passed.

"Gee, I wonder where Joker fits in all this?" Lucky asked

"I'll warn you right now, with a free roam across the entire place...it's never easy with the Joker." Batman warned them.

Meanwhile in Montoya's car, Chris was fixing the last piece to the device.

"Come on Com-"

"Shut it Bullock or it's Meter Maid duty for a whole month!" Chris warned

"Yes sir."

"Alright there we...Go! Yes."

"Hmm, looks like a tracking device. I should know I'm a C.I.T." Courtney said proudly.

"Shut it Montoya...huh, it's pointing north...to, looks like the Somerset District, funny; nothing much out there except-Gasp! ...Arkham."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Alright guys way to kick season 4 off with a BANG! Big finish up next, and then it's time we met the Exterminator and Tuck! Stay frosty =)**


	69. The Trial, Part IV

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"This way...I-I think." Bartholomew led them through the ducts.

"Oh great, so you do have no idea where were going, do you boss?"

"Be quiet Lucky."

Their search led the team to the end of the air ducts.

"Come on, we should be on the second floor, it's just below this duct." Bartholomew explained.

"Hmm, I got a better idea." Batman got out some small plastic explosives from utility-bat (By the way, just assume he got the belt back when he tied up Harley earlier)

"What are you doing?" Lucky asked

"You'll see." he arranged the explosives in a circle. "Okay, everyone stand back." he warned.

"Hey, ain't this from Call of-"

"Shut-up Mike."

"Okay."

"Alright, stay away, and close your eyes. And you're right Mike, this was from Call of Duty."

"Ha, knew it."

Anyway Batman grabbed a small detonator. Down in the room in question, was Bartholomew's office, there in his chair sat Riddler, and Gray on the comfy chair.

"And that's why I'm so addicted to money."

"Wow, sorry Ferris, but you've just wasted 10 minutes of my valuable life-[yawn]" Riddler yawned.

"Oh poo! Some therapist you are!"

"Yeah right, maybe I'll shuck this puzzles and riddles gig and take up psychiatry." he joked

"Ha! Don't bet on it, if you can't last 10 minutes with little old me, you'll be gouging your eyes out once you end up with real patients."

"Uh...I was kidding you moron."

"Moron shmoron, I'm bored Noah, gimme a riddle, a real juicy one." Gray insisted sitting up in his chair.

"Alright then, uh...a juicy one eh, I got it: What's heavier? A ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?" Riddler asked

"Oh pishaw! You call that a hard one? A ton of br-[craksh-...]-. . .commencing slow motion call of duty style drop-in breach.

Batman dropped right onto Riddler's head, slamming it onto the hard solid oak desk. Knocking him out.

A stunned Gray Goblin simply looks at Batman, as the sequence fades back to normal speed.

"What!" he yelled

"Surprised to see me Boyle?"

"Surprised to see you're still breathing is more like it!"

"Well believe it."

"Oh I get it! Well you're gonna have to catch me if you can Bats!"

"Great! Now we gotta play this game at-...4 in the morning! Guys come on, it's safe!" Batman ordered. Everyone jumped in.

"I got cameras in here that can view the whole asylum, I'll be able to keep in touch with you." Bartholomew explained.

"Good, now to catch The Gray Goblin." Who suddenly appeared at the doorway on his purple wing.

"In for a little chase bats? Aha-ha-ha-ha!" he took off.

"Come on he's getting away!" Beth yelled chasing after Boyle. Batman simply smirked and followed her.

"Wait not you two." Bartholomew said stopping his guards

"What?"

"Why Doc?"

"Cause I need some protection in case the crazy brigade comes back."

"Oh yeah."

"Right."

Little did they know, Mad Hatter was hiding behind one of the desks, being silent as a mouse.

Anyway back to the star of the show, who had flying through the halls trying to dodge guards, and inmates alike. Batman, used the Bat-gliding-jet-pack, to keep chase, with Beth hanging on for dear life.

"IS WHAT YOU DO EVERYDAY?"

"NOT REALLY! REMEMBER THIS IS NOT A NORMAL EVENING! EVEN FOR ME! HELL EVEN FOR A CARTOON!

"Yeah, you're a regular Rob Paulsen." Or Kevin Conroy

"WHAT?"

"NOTHING!"

"Whoops, 'scuse me, one side coming through, move it or loose it!" Gray said maneuvering his way through the corridors.

"Hey!"

"Watch it Boyle!"

"I'll shove that wing up your ass you lousy psycho!"

"Takes one to know one!" Gray called from behind him. He turned around to see "Whoops, look out!"

"Huh-[thud]" Red Claw bounced onto one side of the wing.

"Ah, Miss Evanovich, how nice of you to drop in."

"The pleasure's all your Goblin! That really hurt and-whoa..."

"You like?"

"This wing is incredible."

"That's Gothcorp ingenuity for ya! Gothcorp: The People Company!"

"Yeah, The lab guys at Research should really get to work on one of those." Batman whispered

"WHAT?"

"I SAID: THIS ENGINE'S REALLY LOUD!"

"OH OKAY!"

"Hmm, gonna need a distraction to get Guano Man off my back." he turned to Red Claw. "Hmm...get ready Network Censors-Aha-ha! Hey Batman, what cycle is the moon at tonight, hmm?"

"I dunno? Uh, Waxing Crescent I guess?"

"Noooo! It's a full moon-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Hey!" Gray reached for Red Claw's red spandex shorts and pulled them down.

"Gross!" Beth nearly puked

"But boy does she keep herself in good shape. That's the power of excersise kids! Remember, get out there at least an hour a day for a healthy lifestyle!"

"Gray!" Red Claw yelled

"Oh hush, you look good!"

Bartholomew noticed this on the cameras.

"Ew...hmm. Hey Lucky, come over here and tell me what you think of this."

"Oh I swear Doc if it's a butt...please don't be a butt, please don't be a butt, please-oh please God don't let it be a-AW!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." the doctor chuckled

"Aw-Come on man! Dat's a butt, Dat's a white ass butt! What did I tell ya? What did I tell ya!"

"Sorry, couldn't resist."

"Come on Luck, lighten up a little bit."

"Oh really Mike, you wanna Red Claw's toned tush on live action camerascope?"

"Uh, pass, thank you."

"NIYAH!" suddenly Hatter jumped from behind his cover.

"Huh-[pwak]"

"Ugh! T-Tuesday's...a-applesauce day." he passed out

"Huh...guess I don't know my own strength."

"Ya got lucky, that's all." Bartholomew said

"Say what Doc?"

"No Lucky, not you, I mean...sigh, never mind. Just get the cone off his head so the guards can return to normal."

"Yes Dr. Bartholomew." they took the ring off of Hatter's head.

"Idiots, my original Alice in Wonderland is way rarer then your Star Wars...pos...ter." he faded again.

"Wanna write on his face?" Mike asked

"Yup."

"_Batman, the collar is off Hatter! Repeat, the collar is off Hatter!" he said over com link_

"Well, that's good news." They approached the cafeteria, Red Claw managed to pull her shorts back up.

"Well, never realized how much you enjoyed exposing yourself."

"Go to hell!"

"Already there sweet cheeks-aha-ha-ha-ha, get it?"

"Ha-ha." Red Claw chuckled sarcastically. "Look out!"

"Huh-thok!" The wing knocked Sadie's face from her body.

"SADIEFACE!" Ventriloquist yelled.

"I'm hit boys! Dummy...down."

"No Sadie, it's okay, I'll put you back together, and then we go and do each other's hair, wouldn't that be fun? Just don't die on me, don't die...whatever you do...DON'T DIIIIIIIIIIIIEEE!" she sobbed.

"Hmm-hmm-hmm, what a baby." Gray said not paying attention again

"Boyle look out!"

"What! Oh no-[crash-crack-boom-boom-pow-CRASH]" They hit a table and landed at the nearest wall, Gray looked a little, well; knocked the hell out.

"T-Tuesdays...Applesauce day."

"Actually, according to the menu, Tuesday is Meat loaf day." Batman announced.

"Ergh!" Red Claw crawled from the wreckage poised to fight but as she did a whip came down and pulled her into the vents.

"What, what the-AHHHH-[bwak]-ugh...[thud]...meat...loaf." she hit the cafeteria floor, and blacked out again.

"Alright, that was convenient." Beth said

"Sure was, wasn't it." Came Catwoman, who appeared from the ducts.

"Ah, hey Gwen, thought I would hear from you at some point." they exchanged a kiss.

"Anytime. Hey, wanna help me escape?"

"Yeah, I'm not that grateful."

"Eh, worth a shot, enjoy your little break out I'm gonna help Katie recooperate." she walked over to the sobbing Ventriloquist. "It's okay."

"WAHHHHHH"

"Alright, let's hit it." they left the cafe, only to be blocked by a horde of inmates led by Two-Face. He did a flip.

"You lose Batman, prepare to die, get 'im boys."

"HEY!"

"Some of us are girls!"

"Whatever, just get him!"They dashed in.

"Hang on!" Beth grabbed on as Batman launched a Bat hook out of the skylight which pulled them to the roof.

"Dammit! So cl-"

"NOBODY MOVE!" Came Chris Gordon's voice

"This is the police!" Montoya added from the opposite hallway

"Nowhere left to run-"

"We get it! Were caught!" Two-Face bellowed angrily.

"Man, someones grouchy." Chef mocked.

On the roof, the two looked inwards.

"Huh, I think that wraps everything up." Batman said proudly

"Yeah, but I can't help but think were forgetting someone."

"Oh Beth, your just being-gah!" suddenly a rope got lassoed around his torso, incapaciting one arm

"Yoohoo! Look alive, Batman!" Came Joker's voice.

"Yup, you were right!" Batman sighed As the Clown Prince pulled Batman above the crevice. Joker hung on the other side of the rope, he got his gavel ready.

"Old Judge Hang em Joker that's me!"

"Ugh!" Batman grit his teeth as the Joker barely missed a swing.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" He missed again. This time Batman was able to use the good hand to punch him.

"Unh...Apple...sauce." His grip slipped and Joker hit one of the support beams connecting the two different buildings over the crevice. Batman launched his hook again, and Grabbed Joker on his way back up.

"Nooooooooo!"

"And by the way...(Catch phrase!)...It's meat loaf."

"Finally, it's all over." Bartholomew said proudly from his office. "And I think it's about time we got a new security chief, what do you say boys?"

Batman and Beth stood by the Arkham gates as this was all over as Gordon and the rest secured everything from inside.

"I finally see there's a need for the thing's you do." she said "But I'm still going to work towards a city that doesn't need Batman."

"Me too." Batman said, admiring the sunrise.

**The End...PLEASE REVIEW!**

Man, was that awesome or what! Hi it's Dan Riba here, director of this awesome fanisode! Hey, we got some OC's in the near future, hope you enjoy that, so PLEASE REVIEW! And, wow, a lot of credits today. Stay tuned.

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Courtney Montoya

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Sarah Gadon: **Beth Van Dorn

**Drew Nelson: **Joker

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Harley Quinn, The Ventriloquist

**Carter Hayden: **Riddler

**Katie Crown: **Poison Ivy

**Cle Bennett: **Bane

**Laura Lipson: **Sadieface

**Mark Hamill: **The Gray Goblin, Joker's Laugh

**Julia Chantrey: **Red Claw

**Marco Grazzini: **Two-Face

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Catwoman

**Adam Reid: **Killer Croc

**Brian Fraud: **Mad Hatter

**Rachel Wilson: **Heather Al Ghul

**Peter Oldring: **Scarecrow, Mr. Freeze

**Frank Welker: **Dr. Bartholomew

**Phil LaMarr: **Lucky

**David Kaufman: **Mike

**Candi Milo: **female prisoner

**E.G. Daily: **female prisoner

**Jennifer Hale: **various prisoners

**Dee Bradley Baker: **various prisoners

**Tara Strong:** additional voices


	70. The NotSo Great Escape, Part I

**Villain(s): The Exterminator, Tuck, Penguin, Harley Quinn, Bane, The Ventriloquist**

**Episode Archive: ORIGINAL!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Tom Ruegger**

**Teleplay By: Butch Hartman&Seth MacFarlane (This should be interesting)**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting: Bruce W. Timm**

**Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 34: The Not-So Great Escape!**

The alarms rang at the rainy and dreary asylum. Twas a dark and stormy night, perfect escaping weather. And that's exactly what several Arkham regulars planed on doing. And over the final wall they went. Lindsey, DJ, and Katie.

"Quick, keep running!"

"This guys's nuts! Which is a lot coming from us!"

"Come on, we gotta get away from him." The three inmates, still in their obvious prison fatigues stopped by a tree to catch their breath. The Asylum was still in the near distance.

The Somerset District (where Arkham stood) was quite desolete and more forested as compared to the rest of the city. It stands on the mainland, on the northern end of the city.

"Ugh! Okay...DJ...when is...when is Penguin picking us up?" Katie asked panting

"Uh...well, funny story about that...he's uh...he's kind of...waiting for us." DJ chuckled

"Oh where? The Doughnut shop a mile from here?" Lindsey asked

"Uh..."

CUTSCENE

"Yes, I'll take two dozen of those frosted ones, and...another dozen of those jelly ones...and...like three dozen of whatever you got left."

"Uh okay, that'll be $6,579.53 Mr. Cobblepot." the cashier said

"Keep the change, my good man." Penguin payed of course, in cash

"Wow, thanks."

"Now, where was I supposed to go from here...eh, it'll come to me after a few donuts."

. . .

"Wow! I actually got one right! That never happens!" Lindsey jumped for joy.

"Yeah but now we have no ride, and who knows when the search party is gonna find us!"

"Don't worry, look see the Bay?" DJ asked

"Yeah." the girls nodded in agreement.

"Ain't no way those lousy security guards would be stupid enough to follow us into that murky old water. We just swim to the other side, just avoid Central Island, and any other urban areas." DJ suggested

"Which just leaves the wealthiest neighborhood in the city, Rumson."

"Right, and whose humble abode lives at the top of the cliff?" DJ asked pointing to the cliff across the bay as a lightening strike illuminated it.

"Trent Wayne!"

"Exactly, come on." they made a mad dash across the meadow and to the bay, which was ONLY a 800 yard swim to the Cliff Wayne Manor sat on upon the other side.

But meanwhile, perched upon one of the tall trees outside the facility, a masked figure heard it all. And saw the inmates make a break for the water. She called her superior, whose location is a secret, but HE also knew everything.

"_Master, they're heading for Wayne Manor."_

"Then so be it X...Make sure they never find their way back to Arkham...or to anywhere else that is."

"_Yes master."_

Ooh, who could this be? Well duh it's the Exterminator! Jeesh! Anyway, in the Bat-Cave, Nightwing and Robin were busy at the Bat-Computer, looking upon the recent escape.

"Well according to the scanners, it's shows, The Ventriloquist, Harley, and Bane escaped." Nightwing explained

"Hmm...you think someone's picking them up?" Robin asked

"Probably, Bane's new in town, Ventriloquist is lost without Sadie and Quinn is an idiot. Question is where do they converge?" Nightwing asked turning the chair around.

"Well let's just check in with the boss and see what he thinks."

"Good call little bro." Nightwing called Batman's com link, the caped crusader stood on one of the gargoyles on one of Gotham's tallest buildings...soaking wet I might add.

"Batman here."

"_Hey Trent old buddy, we got ourselves a prison break!" Nightwing said in a slight southern drawl._

"Well I'm afraid you and Robin will have to deal with it on your own."

"_Aw what's the matter? Bat got your tongue, ha-ha-ha-ha! Get it?"_

"It's only funny when Gwen says it, now listen up, the both of you. I'm perusing a lead to find and capture this dangerous Ex-CIA sniper who goes by the name "Tuck" He's a ruthless mercenary and military contractor, whose last address is somewhere in the city-"

"_and it's up to Batman to find him, right?" Robin asked sarcastically._

"Right. Now you two are gonna have to find and protect those prisoners lest that fiend gets to them first, got it?"

"_Yeah."_

"_We got it."_

"Good, I'll be in touch." the transmission ended.

"So, dangerous contact killer, prisoners on the loose...eh, sounds like a typical Saturday Night." Nightwing shrugged

"Yeah...Want some chips?" Robin asked

"Totally."

"I'll be right back." Robin walked upstairs into the manor.

Upstairs Alfred was doing some butling in the living room...and by "butling" of course I mean he's watching a sophisticated British Soap Opera and eating some sort of British Candy...Because, he is British.

"Hello, Alfred?"

"Noooo! No Felicia! Don't Kiss him! His lips are still covered with the poooooison! No don't try and give yourself CPR! IT NEVER WORKS!" Alfred Sobbed

"Alfred?" Robin walked right up behind him.

"NOOOOO! WHY FELICIA! WHYYYY!"

"Oh brother." Robin rolled his eyes he walked for the kitchen

"Oh uh...M-master Cody, I uh...didn't see you there. I thought you and Master Geoffrey would be doing your nightly rounds?" he questioned

"Contract Killer, prisoners, gotta save them, blah-blah-blah, were hungry." Robin hollered from the pantry.

"You know, if you worked for the Special Air Services, these breaks would be-"

"What sorry Alfred, I couldn't hear you over the roar of me not caring!"

"Ugh." the butler fell back in his chair.

Little side note here, if I made a Call of Duty movie trilogy, would you not see it? Cause I would SO put Kevin Conroy as Captain Price.

Anyway, enough of that, the near waterlogged villains who just climbed the hill, crept to the back french doors, which were-

"Drat, locked."

"Good eye Lindsey." Katie rolled her eyes.

"Hey puppet head, your much more nicer when shes around...I don't like the new puppet head-"

"Listen Quinsiot, I'm in the process of making another, and besides at least I'm not some slave to some abusive mohawked clown!"

"You know what!"

"Ladies-ladies, please. Quarreling over crap like this is not worth it, especially when, I already unlocked the door, viola."

"Wow."

"Damn Bane you're good."

"I try."

Anyway the three entered the mansion, unaware of the masked figure watching them from the roof.

"Who are my targets exactly?" she asked her boss.

"_Lindsey Quinzel, better known as Harley Quinn, likes to play games, likes to run her mouth, but stupid as the day sure is long. Devon Joseph Hughes, Bane; Contract Killer, not proficient like you at all, rely's on a juice like steroidal venom to give him strength, big mommas boy. That leaves Katie Wesker, the Ventriloquist, without that puppet of her's shes nothing. You should be able to pick them off one by one."_

"Right."

"_Oh and Ex, one more thing."_

"Yes master?"

"_Should you have any trouble with the one they call...The Batman, be sure to make his death, extra slow."_

"Yes master." She got her repelling equipment ready.

Meanwhile back down stairs Alfred grabbed the silver platter on the coffee table, he saw Bane inching closer behind him in the background."

"Oh and one more thing Master Co-"

"What? What is it Alfred?"

"Oh, it's nothing-[clong]"

"UNH...ugh-[thud]"

"Nothing at all." the butler turned around to see Bane knocked out.

"Hi-[clong]"

"Was yeah the word you looking for...Ms. Quinzel I presume?" he asked the knocked out blond. Now the platter was bending from all the head shots.

"That just leaves me! Ha, I remember you." Katie said getting in a fighters stance.

"Ah yes, the uh-Ventriloquist, yes?" Is Alfred not a boss or what?

"Yup, and now I'm gonna finish what i-hey!" she noticed a bat hook and rope tie her up, Robin emerged from the Kitchen "Robin?"

"The one and only."

"But, how did-[clong]" Alfred knocked her to the floor.

"Was that really necessary?" he asked

"Call it revenge Master Cody, now, help me tie them up, won't you?"

"Sure thing."

Geoff left the Bat-Cave, and entered the study. Not knowing the shadowy figure watching him from the rafters

"Man, how long does it take one kid to get one lousy bag of chips, huh; I should change my major to errand boy, man I would excel at that." little did he know, the figure gliding downwards

-[grab]

"Huh-[thud]" Or maybe he did notice.

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Oh No! Look at this cliffhanger that i totally accidentally on purpose left you with! Will Geoff defeat the Exterminator? Will Batman find Tuck? Will Alfred kick more ass? Probably! Stay tuned to find out!  
**


	71. The NotSo Great Escape, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"Tuck I presume?" Geoff asked, then he quickly realized how familiar she looked "Hey, you sorta look like Batgirl."

She did, well a little. The Exterminator wore a sexy skin tight dark leather catsuit with some reinforced armor plating in key areas. She also wore a hockey mask like ski mask with a blond pony tail out the back. She had several weapons on her, including a Kentana in a shoulder sling.

"Wait...How do you know about Tuck?" she asked

"I make it my business to know things." Nightwing said confidently.

"Right, like I'm gonna make it my business to do THIS-[cheap shot]"

"OW! YOU BITCH!" He fell to his knees. Exterminator grabbed her Kentana.

"And never...call me...Batgirl...again."

"Owwwww! I'm sorry, but why'd you have to kick my boys!" he yelled in pain.

"Out of options!" she snapped. As Nightwing started to regain the feeling back in his crouch. The Exterminator walked about the study. "So, this is where the illustrious Trent Wayne lives does he? Riddle me this Nightwing-" Not in this episode- "Why would YOU be here tonight walking around casually, except if...Trent Wayne...is-"

"Wealthy and let's me operate here because that is how nice of a guy he is!" Nightwing yelled standing up.

"I was gonna say he was Batman, but; that makes so much more sense."

"Whew."

"And since I now know your secret...that might be even more invaluable to me then killing you." she raised her combat fitted USP. 40 "Eh, almost. Any last words Nightwing?"

"How do you know my name?"

"Oh please, you're so conceited, everyone in this city knows who you are."

"You're right, I just needed an excuse to distract you!" He launched a Batarang at her gun, knocking it out of her hand

"Ah! Hey, that hurt!"

"Well so will this!" He jumped on her. And the two engaged in a kung fu Battle fight-OH YEAH!

Meanwhile back in the living room, the three knocked out convicts were all tied up. Alfred had just finished calling the police to pick them up.

"Well the police are on their way. You might want to make yourself scare Master Cody." Alfred explained.

"Good Cal Al-[Crash-bang-crack]-Fred?"

"What in blazes?" The Butler asked. The two stared at the large staircase above the living room, Nightwing and the Exterminator tumbled onto the landing.

"You can't beat me Nightwing! NOBODY CAN! I'M THE EXTERMINATOR DAMMIT! I CAN'T BE BEAT!"

"Ugh." Nightwing clenched his chest. "Is that what you're calling yourself?" he asked sarcastically.

"ERGH!" she kicked him in the gut, again. Then turned her attention to Robin and Alfred, who raised an eyebrow.

"Uh...That a new look Batgirl?" Robin asked

"I am NOT BATGIRL!" she fumed "I am the Ex-"

"Yes-yes, we heard your little rant, now if you'll be so kind as to-"

"Hold that thought Jeeves!" she said grabbing her EBR-21 scoped from her back sling.

"What does everyone call me that?" Alfred asked

"Thanks to your stately mansion, it provided a nice little shelter for my targets." Meanwhile Tuck monitored her.

"_Good...Good, finish them!"_

"Working on it-[clash]-huh." A Batarang got lodged in the barrel...Man Dats a $5,000 gun! "MAN! That's a $5,000 gun!" she fumed

"That's right miss Exterminator, and you're going down." Robin said taking out his pair of Bat-Cuffs. To think all this started with a bag of chips.

"No...NO! I won;t be beat! I-I-I can't be beat!"

"_Ex! Your nets!"_

"Oh, right!"

"Who are you talking to?" Robin asked

"Oh no one! Now catch these!"

"What in the-"

"Hey!" the nets she threw, trapped Alfred and Robin, pinning them against the nearest wall.

"Aw crap!" Robin groaned.

"Hey...why don't I just kill-1-2-3-, 6 birds, with one stone-Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" she took out a small timer delay bomb, and placed it on the coffee table.

"OH COME ON!"

"Goodnight all." She made her way up the stairs, as Nightwing was able to knock her down upon standing. "Ah!"

"Nightwing!"

"Don't worry guys I got this, I'll be right be right back, promise!" He made a mad dash for the study.

"Oh no you don't!" Exterminator started after him.

"Well Master Cody, the police officials being sent will be competent in their efforts to get us out of this predicament." No sooner do the words leave Alfred's mouth, when the front door is busted open.

"FREEZE!" Enter Courtney and Chef.

"Oh Bollocks, just our luck! Of all the officers to send" Alfred groaned

"Say something Alfredo?" Chef asked, assuming Alfred meant him.

"No Bullock! Ugh." Alfred groaned.

"Is there anyone else with you?" Cody looking around.

"No Robin, just us."

"You sure?" Robin asked Courtney again

"Positive."

"...Really-really su-"

"You gotta a hearing problem or something Bird Brain there's no one else with us!" Chef fumed.

"Great."

Speaking of Bird Brains, let's check back in with Penguin, eating donuts in the Penguinmobile.

"Yum...is there any problem jelly can't solve?" he asked "Still, what was that thing I was supposed to do this evening...Hmm? Oh well, I'm sure it'll come to me eventually."

And back to the living room, Chef and Courtney looked at the bomb.

"Yup...that's a bomb alright." Chef said

"Really Sherlock? Can you defuse it?" Alfred asked

"Uh..." the two just looked at each other puzzled "S-sure."

"Yeah, piece of cake Albert."

"It's Alfred."

"Let's see here...uh...

"Hurry Montoya, 5 minutes!"

"I KNOW ROBIN STOP PRESSURING ME!" Courtney yelled taking out her tweezers.

"Oh come on Montoya, don't you know some kind of CIA mumbo-jumbo that can get us out of this?"

"That's CIT! Bullock, and I'm so sorry, that summer camp doesn't have a bomb defusing class!"

"Were doomed." Robin groaned.

Meanwhile back in the study, Nightwing managed to throw The Exterminator off of him, and he entered the clock secret entrance into the Bat-Cave. Unfortunately, she was right on his tail.

"So, this...this is the Bat-Cave?" she asked "Nice!"

"GET OUT!" Nightwing ordered

"Yeah that's really gonna get me to leave." she jumped into action.

"I'm not gonna let you win-NYAH!" he went for a swipe, and managed to tear off half of her mask, semi-exposing her!

"AH! Look what you've done!"

"Yeah well..." he noticed on whose mask he almost tore off. "Sara...Sara Rhinehart?"

"Huh...How did...How did you! No ones called me by that in years! The last person I ever knew who called me by my first name was Geoff...Grayson, my old boyfriend...who, looks a lot like you Nightwing!"

"Yeah, small world." Nightwing grimaced.

"I should have figured, I was so blind! How long Geoff! HOW LONG have you been doing this?" she asked

"Years and years! The better question is, why are you...that?"

"You broke my heart...so I left high school, and got training from Tucker Vanzetti, an-"

"Lemme guess, an ex CIA sniper who trained you to be an assassin?"

"_The boy does his homework." Tuck said listening in_

"Yeah, this is the life I know now, the innocent Sara Rhinehart as you knew her is gone...like I will be, NOW! She kicked him right in the face and made a break for the Bat-Copter. "Key in the ignition, nice. " she started the engine, Nightwing, angered was able to grab onto one of the legs as it flew out of the cave.

"Nice of you to drop in." she smirked.

We Cutscene now to the lair of Tuck.

"Well done X, now just return home then we can-[bang-bang]-what's this?" he asked hearing bangs on his front door-[CRASH] Suddenly the door broke off, enter-"

"You!"

"Me." Batman lunged on the psycho before he could draw his weapon, nearly breaking Tuck's hand. "

"OW!"

"I don't appreciate contract killers in my town." he beat him around a little.

"You lousy little-ow!"

"Ah-ah, language!" Batman taunted. "Now, let's talk...Mr. Vanzetti."

Back in the skies, over Midtown, Exterminator just admired the sunrise as the rain clouds faded.

"Ah, such a beautiful sunrise, just the ones we used to share Geo-huh?" she looked out the side. "Where did he-Gah!"

"Surprise!" Nightwing entered from the oppisote door, and grabbed the controls.

"You dirty little!"

"Aw shut up!" Exterminator then noticed they were close to the diamond exchange building, which had a glass roof.

"ERGH! If I can't have you...Then I'll kill us both!" yeah that makes sense. She aimed for the top floor.

"Damn. No you don't!"

"Oh I don't think so-GEOOOOFFF-[crash]"

Nightwing woke up a little delirious, he was laying face down, looking down into the building. The wrecked chopper was in front of him, The Exterminator slowly emerged from it. One of her pistols was at an equal distance from the both of them.

Back at the manor.

"Ugh, were running out of time Montoya!"

"I KNOW THAT BULLOCK!"

"Just pick a blasted wire!" Alfred yelled

"Okay-okay, uh...uh...uh-[snip]-oh whew, hey thanks...Wesker?" she looked up and saw the Ventriloquist with a pair of tweezers.

"The green wire...it's ALWAYS the GREEN wire! Look can you just take us back to Arkham, it's been a long night for all of us, and I wanna get back and rebuild my Sadieface!"

"...Okay." Chef agreed.

"Uh, this is all rather nice, but can someone please un net Robin and I."

"Sure thing Gilbert-"

"THAT'S ALFRED!

Batman turned Tuck over to the awaiting police outside.

"Thanks a bunch Batman, now I recommend you get to the top of the Diamond exchange pronto, there's something you need to see." the officer said.

"Oh no." he put two and two together.

. . .

She was too fast, and grabbed the gun, with it pointed right at Nightwing. Not knowing of the cracking floor beneath them.

"Goodbye Geoffrey...I just wanna say, you don't know how long I've waited for this exact moment...Well, I'll tell ya anyway. 3 years Geoff, 3...long...miserable-[crash-kik-plik-crimple-crick]."

before they both knew it, the floor cracked beneath them, sending the two hurdling down two stories to the nearest platform. Knocking Rhinehart unconscious. Stunned, but awake, Nightwing painfully limped over to her fallen gun, he raised it at her unmoved body.

He was bleeding, his right femur was shot, that ankle was broken, he was in excrutiating pain. This went against everything he believed in.

"Say goodnight you murdering little-[grab]-huh?" a bat hook grabbed the gun from Nightwing at that moment.

"Nightwing No!"

"B-Batgirl...?"

"Look." she got closer. "I know what shes doing is wrong, but you have to rise above that."

"But-"

"Yeah shes crazy I get it, everyone we deal with is crazy! But look, no good is gonna come from killing her, that makes you no better! If your parents were around...they would agree."

"...Ugh." he looked at The unconscious Exterminator.

"Yeah I guess you're right."

"Of course I am...now come on, let's get you to Dr. Tomkins."

"Good call." she started to carry him to the elevator as the police sirens drew closer. Batman stood on the part of the roof not broken.

"Couldn't have done it better myself."

. . .

"Oh right! I was supposed to pick up, Bane, Harley, and The Ventriloquist! Darn that was it...oh well, I'll get to it eventually, time to feed my birds."

**THE END! PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Now I know yous guys loved that one, alright fellas we got some more Ra's and Heather up next with Avatar, so read, REVIEW, enjoy, and stay tuned! PEACE Y'ALL!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Dan Petronijevic: **Nightwing

**Peter Oldring: **Robin

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Courtney Montoya

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Mae Whitman: **The Exterminator

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Harley Quinn, The Ventriloquist

**Cle Bennett: **Bane

**Jeff Bennett: **Tuck Vanzetti, Doughnut guy

**Scott McCord: **Penguin

**James Arnold Taylor: **police officer


	72. Avatar, Part I

**Villain(s): Ra's Al Ghul, Heather Al Ghul**

**Episode Counterpart: Avatar (1994)**

**Written By: Michael Reaves**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 35: Avatar**

EGYPT-1898

At a British archeological dig near Cairo, an archeologist, who looks fairly young, steps by the giant hole that leads into the grave, he was held up by a pulley system.

A young boy gives the archeolgist his lantern, in return, he gives the young boy his pith helmet. The workers work the pulley and he is slowly lowered into the very large tomb. He lights his lantern, completely marveled by all of the cool shtuff in the tomb.

Suddenly from the doorway, a bright is shown. Back up top, the rope is pulled signaling, he wants up. The workers and the other archeologists began to pull him out, but they found this difficult, this excruciating force nearly threw the workers in. Once they finally got control the pulled up, now at a high speed, only to find out...the line had been burnt off.

This was a sign, everyone involved in the dig ran away. All except the little boy still wearing the pith helmet, not knowing what to do, or more or less, what happened?

GOTHAM CITY-PRESENT DAY

Lucius Fox and Trent Wayne stood in the Gotham Museum after closing, at the new ancient Egyptian exhibit, all funded by Trent. Lucius was especially fond of an old piece of papyrus cased in glass.

"My my Mr. Wayne, this exhibit might just be the best exhibition Gotham city has ever seen. You can be quite the humanitarian on occasion Trent, it's commendable, it's inspiring-"

"It's deductible." great answer Trent

"The scroll of Osiris, pity only half of it exists." Lucius said pointing to the scroll. "Why, it's the oldest document known to man."

"Yeah, right, awesome." Trent sighed looking at his watch.

"Late for patrol?" Lucius asked

"No I'm meeting Tammy for dinner at Chardines. Then I'm patrolling."

"I see...so, how's Geoff doing?" Lucius asked

"He'll be alright, I give it a month, he'll be on his feet, Geoff's always been a fighter, it's the emotional damage I'm worried about, but; I'm sure he'll pull through, he has before." Trent explained.

"Right, oh and Mr. Wayne, about your guitar concerto at the music hall last week?"

"Yes!"

"Keep practicing." HA!

"Ha-ha Lucius. Very funny."

Later that same evening, through the skylight, a huge masked figure leaps into the exhibit. He smashes the glass containing the papyrus, and makes a break for the nearest exit...blocked of course by Batman.

The guy grabs a knife, Batman grabs a Batarang. And then bing-bang-boom, he's suddenly all tied up. Batman grabs the papyrus.

"I don't think so guy, now let's see who you really ar-UBU!"

"Ergh! Infidel!"

"Yeah didn't see that coming. But why?"

"Why don't you turn around then ask that question." In the doorway stood-

"You could have been my successor Detective, but now you must suffer the fate of all unworthy mortal flesh." Ra's Al Ghul boomed. He throws what looks like a piece of rope at Batman, who out of reflex grabs it assuming it's a clue...nope, it's a Cobra.

"Hisssssssssss."

"Gah! -[chomp-AW!" right on the wrist. Batman dropped the snake and fell to his knees, Ra's grabbed the papyrus and signaled for Ubu to follow him.

Weakened Batman grabbed a vile of anti-venom from his belt, and drank it quickly, still weak he gave himself a shot of epinephrin. And ran out to the front of the museum where Ra's and Ubu left in a nice luxury sedan limousine, accompanied of course by a squad of Shadows.

"This ain't over."

We cutscene now to inside the limo, where Ra's held up the scroll.

"Yes. Very soon gentlemen, the plan will come together, just you wait, all we need now is-"

"MASTER!" called Ubu from the driver's seat

"What is it Ubu?" the demon asked

"The Infidel, he's right behind us!"

"For God's Sake Ubu I'm sick and tired, of listening to you bi-Master he's right, look; Batman!"

"What! Well done Detective."

The Batmobile gained some speed catching up with the limo.

"Well?" Ra's asked his Shadows

"Uh yes sir!" two of them poked out of the window and fired at the bullet proof Car.

"Master, out bullet's aren't working!"

"No kidding, oh good help is so hard to find these days." Ra's went to a control panel, as the Batmobile fired from it's bumper machine guns. "Well then Detective let's see if that tank of yours likes my tack attack-aha-ha-ha-ha." Tacks were dumped out from the back of the limo, this punctured every tire of the Batmobile, but it just kept on going.

"Humph, run flat tires, he's more resourceful then I thought."

"Geez who else does he got I there president? The pope?"

"No gentlemen, the Detective is simply a force to be reckoned with, right Ubu?"

"Yes master." suddenly their back left tire was hit-[koof]

"Ha, one down." Batman said

"Master!" his shadows begged

"Easy there gentlemen, let's see how those run flat tires fare against our oil slick." two tubes spewed a greasy oil onto the street, causing the Batmobile to spiral out of control.

"Gotcha."

"Oh no, oh gosh-[screeeeeee-crash!]" the Batmobile crashed, as Ra's limo sped away as fast as one flat tire will take you. "Next time Ra's, next time."

Back at the Bat-Cave, Batman was checking his vitals on the Bat-Computer

"Snake Venom?" Alfred asked

"From an Egyptian Cobra. Extremely venomous."

"And you're certain it is Ra's Al Ghul?"

"None other."

"But I thought he died in the Lazarus pit months ago?"

"So did I. That piece of papyrus seems to be very important to him." Batman looked the piece up. "I have to find out why." Batman stood up and approached the elevator.

"Where are you off to now, in case the stock holders ask."

"Arkham, then to Egypt I guess. There's just someone I need to look up."

Batman flew the Bat-Wing to the Asylum. It was far after lights out so sneaking in was a breeze. He managed to unlock Heather Al Ghul's cell, she was sleeping like a baby. Batman grabbed her, and started to sneak away, but just as he did-

"You know-"

"Gasp."

"I think the prisoner exchange program is a little outdated, wouldn't you say?" a seductive Gwen asked

"Gwen not now, this is very important for me, as soon as I know what's going on I'll bring her right back."

"But-"

"No buts, now look, just keep your mouth shut, please Gwen...pretty please." Batman gave her the eyes.

"Oh...oh alright, but you owe me."

"Of course."

"And whatever it is your looking for, I hope it's worth it."

"Believe me, it is."

Batman put sleeping beauty in the other seat of the plane and they flew off to Egypt, twas early the next morning, and Heather was just waking up.

"Yaaaaaaaawn...oh what a pretty sunrise, it looks perfect over the oc...ean? What the-"

"Oh good, you're awake."

"Gasp...Beloved?"

"Yes."

"Hmm, it's about my father isn't it?" Heather asked

"Yup, he stole a piece of papyrus from a museum in Gotham, I want to know why."

"Well let me just say I can't believe he wouldn't have even told me! Told me...he was still alive." she welled up a little. "Why didn't he tell me!"

"Trust me Heather, I know the face of my most powerful enemy, it's him, for sure."

No! This can't be-"

"Heather I couldn't believe it either, but you know what, it's the truth. It has to be, now tell me, why is the Scroll of Osiris so damn important to him?"

"Humph, I wish I knew, he's been obsessed over that silly thing, always has, it's part of a map, my father has the other half, he always wanted to find this...this tomb of-of..."

"Of what?"

"The tomb of the great Queen Thothcapera. Lies in the canyon of tombs, or so they think. Legend has it, her spirit lies in the body of a diamond shaped emerald, whoever possesses it and the map together as one, can summon her."

"Then why does Ra's seek it?"

"I don't know, Oh Beloved you have to believe me!"

"I have to go after him Heather, and not to be an ungracious host but, you kind a have to help me."

"You are so like him, making me choose between the two of you, oh beloved why does he torture me so?" she asked

"I don't know Heather, hey as a matter of fact the only thing we seem to agree on...is our feelings towards you." he turned around, uncowled, and gave her a smooch, accidentally hitting the throttle-

"WHOA!"

"Oh Jeez-oh jeez-hang on-hang-on-hang-on-hang-on!" Batman regained control. "Weew, so where do you think we can find him again?"

"I heard a rumor that some merchant named Faziz found the emerald and is asking top dollar for it."

"Where can we find it?" Batman asked

"Cairo."

"Then that's exactly where were headed next." they flew off to Egypt, finding a safe and secluded airstrip outside the city, going on an Emerald hunt.

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**This one's dedicated to you Harrison Ford! You and your movies, and your stunts at age 65!  
**


	73. Avatar, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Trent geared up in typical tourist clothing. Whereas Heather still had on her stripes, sticking out like a sore thumb, the two entered the very seedy shopping district of Cairo, where venders were selling various, and possibly fake items to unsuspecting tourists.

"Scarves! I got real fake wool scarves!"

"Hey Americans, you like cheap real brand new bootleg movies? I got Soylent Green, Rocky II, and Grease all on VHS video tape, brand new!"

"Hey, who wants to buy brand new Playstation 1, just come out yesterday I swear it!"

"Typical street venders." Heather shook her head

"Well they seem to be the same no matter what country you're in...but how gullible do they think we are?"

"Who knows beloved..."

"And uh...you may want to get out of those stripes, we don't want you tracking any unessecary attention to ourselves."

"Oh right, the evil escaped convict and her rescuer is the one who put her there? Yes, we're really under the radar."

"Oh just stop complaining and go get clothes."

"YES!"

"AND ONE OUTFIT!"

"Oh, you're no fun."

"I'm aware of that."

Heather walked out of the shop where she bought the clothes. She bought a rhinestone puffy shirt, and red yoga style pants.

"What do you think Beloved too much?"

"Eh, it's a little Karen Allen-y, but; when in Rome." Trent shrugged. He too had changed his get up.

"And speaking of stereotypical movie characters, you don't look so bad yourself Indiana."

Trent was wearing a tan collared shirt, opened, a Campaign hat, shoulder satchel in Olive green, a whip, brown work pants, and boots.

"Even Batman needs to look his best when undercover. Now come on, let's go find this Faziz guy."

"Right, if my knowledge is correct, and I'm certain it is, his merchant shop should be right over-"

"Hey-hey! How you doing chief? You want to buy prime merchandise?"

"Faziz I presume?" Trent asked

"Of course! I see reputation perceives me. Come on-come in Boss and wife, check out what I got for you." he led them into his shop, Heather held onto Trent's arm.

"He called me your wife."

"Yeah-yeah, don't get used to it."

"Oh you."

"Only the best for best costumers, see this, it's an Anubis Statue, found at one of the great pyramids, only one of it's kind."

Trent picked it up, and showed Faziz the 'Made in China' sticker on the bottom.

"Uh ha-ha, ha-ha, oh ha, how did that get in there, you don't want that, I'm sure a man with your explorer credentials, would want-"

"Look, we understand you have a rare emerald, still got it?" Trent asked

"Oh...you mean the emerald containing the spirit of Queen Thothcapara, yes-yes come closer." Faziz grabbed the shiny emerald from a glass drawer at the counter.

"Heather?" Trent asked

"That's it Beloved, I'm sure of it."

"I can assure you my friend, this one was not made on Eastern soil." Faziz assured them

"We'll take it, name your price." Ooh big mistake Batman

"For you, eh...$5,000 American."

"Sold." Trent wrote him a check.

"You're not even gonna haggle with him?" Heather asked

"It's only a 30 minute show."

"Ha-ha, pleasure doing business with you chief, come back soon." The two left the store. Seconds later, Ubu, accompanied by two shadows decked out in local tunics and head caps entered. They had Thompson machine guns.

"You, shop keep."

"Yes Boss? What can I get you?"

"The Emerald! Where is it!" Ubu bellowed, the guns were raised.

"Whoa-whoa be cool chief be cool! I sold it to two Americans, they left seconds ago I swear! Here is check see!"

"Ergh!" Ubu grabbed the check. "Trent...Wayne."

"Ubu?"

"Is it him sir?"

"That...that..." wait for it "That INFIDEL! Come on, and uh...thanks for your help." Ubu snapped his fingers, and both guns were aimed at Faziz.

"Wait-wait, come on guys, lets be reasona-[bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang-thud]"

"Come on." they left the shop. Ubu called Ra's over cell phone

"Master, Batman got to the emerald first...and I think your daughter is with them."

"_I know Ubu."_

"But...but how?"

"_Cause I just saw them leave with it right before you walked in."_

"But then, where are you Master?"

"_I'm on the balcony above you idiot!" _Ubu looked up across the street, and there stood Ra's, flailing his hands. _"See?"_

"Yes master."

"_Just follow the shadows, were going continue with the operation as planned, understood Ubu?"_

"Yes master."

"_Good, just continue down the street, and meet up with the Shadows, were going to ambush them."_

"I understand."

"_Then why are you standing there Ubu? MOVE!" Ra's hung up. _Ubu and the other two continued down the street.

Ra's Al Ghul entered the dark apartment. On either side of him stood his Shadow henchmen, all in period clothing, all standing obediently like soldiers. He topped off his head with his green fedora.

"Let's go." he ordered

Meanwhile back on the street level , Trent and Heather were walking around unaware of what was about to happen.

"So he has to use the skull when inside her tomb?"

"Yes, there is a small Lazarus pit inside and the emerald must rest there...You know, we make a good team you and I."

"I know, but you must realize once were finished, I have to return you to Arkham."

"I understand beloved. You know I am right though, you are very much alike to my father, it would take a helluva lot for you to alienate him."

"Eh not much, just you-"

Suddenly the Shadows came out of nowhere drawing swards.

"Beloved look out!" she pushed Trent out of the way as a sward almost shanghaied him. Trent looked surrounded.

Taking out his whip he managed to subdue some of the shadows while knocking out the rest the only way he knew how, once he got a break he ran over to the frightened Heather.

"Heather get out of here! Take the Emerald! he ordered "Duck!" he threw her out of the way and punched a Shadow right in the face who was coming up behind them.

Trent went back to work, knocking out more and more of the Shadows, drawing a pretty substantial crowd. He found himself surrounded by three of them.

"Give up!"

"Give up...give u-Sorry, not in my vocabulary."

"ERAAAGH!" they charged at him, only for Trent to duck down and they all ran into each other.

"Oof!"

"Now that's what I call-[rapid fire]" one of the guys who shot Faziz in his store fired on Trent from atop a Merchant cart. Trent hid behind a car.

"Give up! Or eat my lead!"

"No thanks I already ate!"

"AHHH-[rapid fire.]" he got off of the cart and continued to fire at the car.

Anyway, Heather ran right into the arms of-

"Ubu!"

"Yes Ms. Ghul, now you have to come with me." He grabbed her, and pulled her towards an awaiting truck.

"No-no no-no!" - - -

Come out and fight!" the Shadow ordered. A Batarang came out of nowhere and knocked him out.

"Now, where is-"

"Hey Infidel!"

"What now U-bu?" Trent watched the truck get farther from him. Ubu fired from the back with his gun. Trent got out of the way, Batarang in hand

"Ha, I doubt he'll ever-[fwip-chok] Ow-ugh." Ubu blacked out but his shots hit the floor, igniting some gas cans and other explosives in the back of the truck. Heather simply shut her eyes.

"Unh-[thud]" Ubu hit the ground, right before the truck exploded -Ka-BOOM!"

"NOOO!" Trent approached the wreckage...weeping. Ubu stood up

"You...You have ruined every-huh?" By the time he got to his feet, Trent had vanished.

Later, Trent sat outside of a bar. Completely depressed, but when who should find him but-

"Well-well...Tell me something Detective, is this really the place a man of your stature should hang out? A seedy dive bar with a drink in your hand?"

"...You have some nerve Ra's." Trent murmured.

"Oh? And that would be?"

"How could you do all this, even sacrificing your own daughter, just for some silly emerald!" Trent stood up.

"I assure you Detective that Emerald is not silly. It contains the spirit of Thothcapara, 10000 years she ruled man with an iron fist, she controlled life you see, she had the power of youth, and life...she controlled the country for over 1000 years, until one day, I guess God had had enough. That's what I want Detective, that power is that of what I have searched for in my 600 years of life. I insist you see what all this is about."

"Never." Trent scoffed, he stood up.

"Alright how about this, a duel then, inside the tomb, much like the one we had last time in Libya. You win...I die, and you can get your revenge. At least see what I can offer."

"Fine, let's go right now." Trent insisted

"I only hope Batman can make an appearance."

"What did you think was in the satchel? The Ark of the Covenant?" he took out the cowl.

Ra's led Batman to the tomb where he searched for Thothcapara over 100 years ago. They entered the tomb and Ra's led Batman down the hallway.

"I narrowly escaped her once, I doubt she even remembers me." they entered to the Lazarus pit where she would rise up from. There stood some Shadows, Ubu, and-

"Heather!" Batman asked in shock.

"Hello beloved."

"Oh, did I forget to mention? My darling daughter was in on this the whole time, playing you for a patsy the moment you took her from that prison you kept her in." Ra's boomed. Heather shrugged awkwardly.

"So there is no duel is there?" Batman asked as two Shadows grabbed him.

"Nope, now Detective, you will soon see the power...of immortality!"

Ra's placed the emerald in the center of the pit, which began to glow green, and suddenly a woman dressed in period clothing exited it, glowing green. Ubu, and the rest of the shadows exited. Leabing only Batman, Heather, and Ra's.

"Thothcapera?"

"...Yes...who...are you?"

"I am the one called Ra's Al Ghul, I have sought for the past 500 years...I wish to share in your power."

"That knowledge can be yours if you join us. Come forward Ra's Al Ghul, come forward and know the true mysteries of life and death." she held out her hand.

"You surprise me Ra's, the world's oldest chauvinist going after a woman?" Batman asked

"Quiet." he got closer.

Ra's let the girl kiss him...which seemed to be for a really long time, only she was actually taking his youth, he became old looking and frail, he fell to the ground.

"Father! NOOO!" Getting free, Batman tied her arms together with a Bat hook. Heather ran to grab her near dead father.

Suddenly tentacle like...things were conjured up from the pits.

"None may defile me and live!" she yelled, one grabbed Heather.

"Heather, No!" Batman tossed a Batarang, severing the tentacle, freeing her. He threw a grenade into the pit...it exploded BOOM, no real effect.

"Heather, grab your father, and get out of here!"

"But beloved!"

"Just go!" she didn't hesitate, she grabbed Ra's and carried him from the tomb.

"You'll never escape meee!"

Batman got upstairs to the upper tomb, getting between a large statue, which he managed to push with his legs over the tomb entrance

[timberrrrrrr-CRASH]

The tomb started to collapse, everything began to break and fall over, Thothcapera, had finally lost

"No...NO...NOOOOOOO!" the tomb crashed around her.

Batman made a mad dash for the exit, nly to find Ubu the last one to leave, he was falling behind as Batman ran past.

"Infidel!" The tomb kept crashing behind him, he sprinted, and fell over, Batman, being the good guy, managed to save him.

"Come on Ubu." the two climbed out of the tomb as it all just caved in.

A helicopter was waiting for him. Ra's had turned back into his old self now that the lady demon was destroyed.

"Ubu come on!" The beast pushed Batman to the ground, and sprinted inside.

"Farewell Detective...I'm certain we'll meet again." Batman looked at Heather, who looked ashamed. But before taking off, Ubu threw Batman his full canteen. Then the chopper flew away.

"Yes...we will meet again Ra's Al Ghul...Count on it!" Batman began the long walk back to Cairo, but...at least he had water.

**THE END**

**Hey listen guys, I got a Championship game tomorrow night; wish me luck, and I won't be back till like midnight. So i'll update tomorrow, if anyone reading this goes to Rumson-Fair Haven High school, best of luck to you! Alright, we got Lock-Up, coming up next! Stay tuned, and PLEASE REVIEW!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Rachel Wilson: **Heather Al Ghul

**Jim Cummings: **Ubu, merchant

**David Warner: **Ra's Al Ghul

**Grey DeLisle: **Thothcapera

**Mark Hamill: **various Shadows

**Dee Bradley Baker: **various shadows, merchant

**Rob Paulsen: **Faziz

**Morgan Freeman: **Lucius Fox

**Frank Welker: **various merchants and people

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Catwoman


	74. LockUp, Part I

**Villain: Lock-Up Featuring: Harley Quinn, The Ventriloquist&Sadieface, Scarecrow**

**Episode Rewrite: Lock-Up (1994)**

**Written By: Paul Dini**

**Directed By: Dan Riba**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 36: Lock-Up**

It was a full moonlit night in the woodsy Somerset District of Gotham city. Batman and Batgirl were bringing Scarecrow back to the facility after his recent escape. He didn't seem too thrilled.

"Don't take me back there please, eh?" they ignored him. "Look at me Batman, I'm shaking with fear! Me! The Scarecrow! I wasn't even going back to crime this time, eh. I just had to get away from-gasp! Him."

Scarecrow saw a rather large shadow walk down the stairs. He had a crew cut, and a security guards uniform. He approached them. Every step seemed like an eternity.

"I'll take it from here Batman, Lyle Bolton, Chief of security." you want a medal? "Congratulations professor Crane, you're the first inmate to escape Arkham under my charge...you're also the last." he grabbed Scarecrow by the collar. The Bat duo's eyes went wide. "I won't let you or the people of Gotham down again Batman." he chuckled evilly, and dragged Scarecrow through the door, slamming it shut.

Batman and Batgirl walked down to the Batmobile.

"That Bolton's a 10 on the Creep-o meter. But it looks like he's doing a good job keeping the inmates in check, wouldn't you say?" Batgirl asked

"Maybe too good." Batman pondered

The Next day inside Arkham's meeting room, A hearing of Bolton's work was to be questioned, as his internship at Arkham was up. Twas also an informal inquest as some inmates had complaints against the jacked security chief.

Dr. Bartholomew, Trent Wayne, Commissioner Gordon, and Mayor Hill were on the board.

"I've called this informal inquest to address certain allegations brought to my attention." Wow Doc big words.

"You sure this hearing was necessary Wayne?" Chris asked playing Angry birds on his Iphone.

"Bolton was brought to arkham on a Wayne foundations grant. With his knowledge of high tech security systems, I felt he was the perfect man for the job-"

"IF ANYONE OBJECTS TO MY METHODS! Well please, tell me." Bolton said with a booming voice, then a usual voice. Ya know what, Richard Moll is voicing Lock-Up.

Anyway Lindsey was the first to be questioned.

"Ms. Quinn, do you have any complaints against Mr. Bolton?" Bartholomew asked. Lindsey looked at Bolton for a second and saw his steely gaze.

"Uh...Er-I got nothing to say." Bartholomew looked puzzled

"But surely you must have something you would like to-"

"Ya got a hearing problem or something? No-nada-ixney-zilch-bubkiss-nothing okay!" She fumed. Katie and Sadieface went next.

"It's alright, I promise you can speak freely here." No they can't.

"Uh...M-Mr. Bolton, he's a-"

"A hard worker, a real stand-up guy, no complaints here chief." Sadie assured the Doc, cutting Katie off.

Then Ezekiel.

"Professor crane, you've been sitting there for 10 minutes, don't you have any complaints against Mr. Bolton?" Mayor Hill asked.

"No sir." This made Trent a little uneasy, but then; this screwed Bolton.

"And yet yours was the loudest voice of protest, you must have some miss givings about my methods?" Bolton asked. Trent stood up, he had an idea

"Well then, based on today's testimony's, I propose extending Mr. Bolton's contract for an additional 18 months." Immediately, every inmate's eyes went wide

"No! You can't! You don't know what he's doing to us!"

"KATIE NO! Don't listen to her she doesn't know what she's saying!"

"No it's all true! If we don't speak up now we'll never get another chance!" Lindsey insisted "He threatens us, takes away our privileges, even when were good!"

"I think we've heard enough of this nonsense." Bolton was getting annoyed.

"He says scum like us needs to be kept in line! That's why he chains us down at night, and electrifies our doors!" Zeke pointed

"He held me over a can filled with termites! Ya hear me! TERMITES!" Sadieface sobbed

"HE'S AN ANIMAL!"

"A monster!"

"Keep him away!"

"SHUT-UP! ALL OF YOU!" Bolton fumed he stood up, angered, and began to approach the prisoners, the other guards tried to subdue him, no avail. He threw them all off, he ran towards the prisoners, Trent had the bright idea, of nonchalantly kicking a chair down, causing Bolton to trip, making the guards subdue him easier.

"You're all scum, you should be beaten to within an inch of your misbegotten lives!"

"I've seen enough! Lyle Bolton, you're dismissed!" Bartholomew banged his gavel.

"Before I got here, Arkham was a revolving door for every maniac in Gotham! I kept them in-ME! Now I realize I was wrong to punish, those pathetic miscreants!" he was dragged to the door. "They're only symptoms! You're the cause! The Gutless police!" Ouch "Mindless Bureaucrats!" Ooh "And coddling doctors!" that one hurt from here "You should all be locked up! In a cage without a key!" the door closed.

Summer Gleeson and her crew met Bolton outside the Asylum.

"Mr. Bolton, any comments about your recent dismissal and the charges of extreme behavior?"

"...this city is an open wound...begging to be stitched."

. . .

"_Since that day three weeks ago, Lyle Bolton has been unavailable for further questioning." _Bolton was watching the old broadcast at his apartment _"Next up on Gotham Insider, shes deadly, shes gorgeous, shes deadly, and shes back in town. Once again Poison Ivy has-"_

"Look at how these monsters are made into heroes." Bolton approached his TV. "And it all starts, with the permissive, liberal media-[crash-zizizizzzzz]" he pushed his TV to the ground, breaking it.

**6 Months Later**

Trent and Summer exit the Gotham Grill after she got an exclusive.

"Thanks for the exclusive Mr. Wayne. Do they always include a sumptuous meal?" she asked

"Well only when the topic is a successful Wayne Corp merger-"

"Excuse me Mr. Wayne, you have an urgent phone call." A waiter came out and said

"If you'll excuse me." he walked inside the revolving door, and to the phone. "Why can't they realize I have a cell phone."

Summer entered her car. Which locked as she got in.

"What the?" she tried to unlock it, but to no avail. Then she tried to roll down her windows, and the roll broke. "Great!" suddenly, a large police like wagon backed up. It's doors opened, and two hooked claws came out the back, pulling Summer's car in. Frantic, she beeped her horn.

Trent noticed this, and went to her aid.

"Summer?" but as he ran to the door, a lock coupled the door, and wall together. Trent thought fast, and pressed the smoke screen button on his briefcase. And Batman emerged, he used a small TNT pellet to blast the door down. He ran to the truck, and opened the back doors.

Inside stood a man in a ski mask. Police blue armor, shoulder pads, and black boots. He held up a nightstick.

"The time has come to cleanse Gotham of the real criminals!" ah cleanse, such an evil word "You apprehend them Dark Knight, and Lock-Up will put them away, together we can make this city safe again!"

"Okay guy, two things, one: you're crazy, and two: kidnapping innocent victims? I don't think so."

"If you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the problem."

Lock-Up lunged, and Batman threw him to the street. Lock-Up responded by tossing Batman into Summer's windshield like a ragdoll.

"You disappoint me Batman, I thought you'd like to see this media leech, get her comeupits." Batman was thrown to the street, but before he could get up, a police car drove to the scene. Lock-Up threw his nightstick at the windshield, knocking it off course, sending the car into a collision course with the nearest wall, just missing batman, the car truck drove away, with Summer Gleeson inside it. Detective Bullock, painfully walked away from the accident.

"Great, just what this town needs, another psycho in a Halloween costume." Batman ignored him, as he was examining the lock.

Later in the Bat-Cave, he was discussing this with Batgirl.

"This is Lyle Bolton's handiwork, no one can figure the lock like him."

"So this Lock-Up nut is the old security chief from Arkham?"

"Without a doubt."

"Well another fine villain made possible with a grant from the Wayne Foundation." Trent gave her that look. "Only kidding." Batman printed out something.

"Bolton's last known address, see what you can find."

"Got it."

Batman went on his way to Arkham, to see what he could find. Upon entering, he already didn't feel right. He noticed an over turned cup of coffee at the security desk, behind it, the guard, chained and tied down. Batman ran about the asylum doing a quick prisoner check, then to find the doc.

"Doctor Bartholomew?" nowhere in sight. Batman looked outside his window, to find the Bat-Signal lit. He made his way towards the police station.

**TO BE CONTINUED...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!  
**


	75. LockUp, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Batgirl entered Bolton's empty apartment, looking for some kind of clue.

"Hmm, nice look; early Alcatraz." she then noticed the box by Bolton's bed, on the side it read F-84. "Hmm..."

Batman made haste to land on the roof of police HQ, expecting Commissioner Gordon, he wasn't there.

"Commissioner?" Batman asked

"I lit the signal Bats." Chef said. He was handcuffed to a downspout.

"What happened?"

"I'll tell ya, that nutcase from earlier, took the Commish', and gave me these new cufflinks, took me 15 minutes to hit the switch on your overgrown flashlight." he motioned to the switch. Batman used his welding pen to sadder off the cuffs.

"I see."

"Got any idea what this is all about Cowl Head?"

"I think so, first Summer Gleeson, then Dr. Bartholomew, now Chris, put extra security around mayor Hill." Batman ordered.

"Wait a minute, they got the Doc too? You mind letting me in on the joke?" Batman was gone "Eh, typical."

Bullock wasted no time putting together a small team to go to the mayor's estate.

"You want me to hide during a crisis? How will that look to the voters? This is overkill Detective Bullock I have the best security system money can buy, it's virtually impenetrable!" Mayor Hill assured them.

"Virtually, but not completely." Batman said, he and Batgirl walked from the curtains.

"If we can sneak through, so can Lock-Up." Suddenly from the fireplace, a smoke bomb exploded-[koosh] the room quickly filled with smoke.

"Cough-Cough-secure the per-cough-cough!"

"Cough-cough!" Suddenly Batman saw Lock-Up grab the mayor.

"Help!"

"Mayor!" He and Batgirl sprinted outside , and over the wall, seeing Lock-Up's truck drive off, they ran to the awaiting Batmobile, stunned to see a boot on the right front wheel.

"Forget to pay a parking ticket?" Batgirl asked

Somewhere, in a cell block, Summer Gleeson, Dr Bartholomew, and Chris Gordon sat. They heard the door to the block open, and in came Mayor Hill and Lock-Up.

"Move it, let's go." he ordered

"Okay-okay!" Hill was placed in the same cell as Gordon. Chris put his hands on the bars.

"I see your taste in prison's is improving Bolton." Wow, go Chris. Anyway Lock-Up stopped.

"You have three seconds to release your hands from the bars or I'll-"

"If you let us go now Bolton, I can guarantee leniency." suddenly the bars shocked Chris "Ahhhhh!" he hit the floor.

"Commissioner!"

"...I don't do leniency." was all Lock-Up said before leaving.

Back at the Bat-Cave, Batman and Batgirl were researching about F-84, the only clue they had.

"Ugh, still nothing, there's no records online." she said from her laptop. Batman was inspecting the rust from the box.

"Just as I thought, a high salt content."

"Hey, what if F-84 is the serial number to a ship?" Batgitl suggested

"Maybe." He typed it in, Twas the decommissioned USS Halsey.

"Bingo."

The two then embarked on the Bat-Boat, and sped for the open waters. Toward the ship which was permanently docked just outside Gotham Bay.

"The Halsey was a temporary prison while Stonegate was being built. Computer, name of security chief during operation Stonegate?"

"_Warden was Lyle Bolton."_

"Well blow me away." Batgirl said sarcastically.

The Bat-Boat stopped right next to the ship, and the two swung their way to the deck.

"I've homed in on his power source." Batgirl used her Bat-Communicator to find the power box.

"Shut down the security systems, I'll take care of Bolton." the two split up, and Batman was unaware he was being filmed by Lock-Up in the bridge.

"You brought this on yourself Batman." he said arming the main gun. He pointed it at Batman.

It had a guided laser, which fortunately Batman was able to see against the wall of the ship, he ducked out of the way as it fired-[BANG-BANG-BANG]

"You're resourceful Dark Knight, but sooner or later you're mine!" Lock-Up yelled from the bridge.

Batgirl found herself below the deck. Lock-Up saw her on camera. He pressed a button, from the wall on either side, tentacle like cables tied her up.

"Hey-agh!"

"No regard for authority...we'll soon change that."

Batgirl saw the camera starring straight at her. She grabbed a grenade from her belt, and managed to toss it into the camera, exploding it, and then the cables released her.

"You think that was my only line of defense?" He reached for another lever, but was stopped by Batman barging in.

"It's over Bolton!" he lunged, and was thrown into Lock-Up's console. Which activated the motor, and the ship started forward, heading straight for a rock formation by the Wayne Manor cliff. "Face it Bolton, you've already lost!" he pointed to the camera screen which saw Batgirl disabling all the security systems, and connecting her laptop to the mainframe.

"Amazing what a little corrupt computer code will do." she said. The cell doors opened.

"NOO!" He screamed. Batman went to get away, but Bolton managed to chain him up. He lookd back at his monitors. "Well at least I still have my prisoners." he said. He turned back to Batman, only to discover he had vanished. "Where did he-[zok]-Aw!" Lock-Up was punched off of the nearest door. He fell towards the deck, bouncing off of life raft, as the ship hit a rock, causing it to tear open the hull

[SCREEEEEEEE!]"

"Unh!" Batgirl, who was in the duct, got knocked off course, she opened a hatch. "Commissioner, Mr. Mayor?"

"Down here!" she jumped in to see the prisoners shackled to the walls of their now open cells.

"Batgirl, were taking on water fast, I can hear it!" Bartholomew yelled

"Relax, I'll have you out of here in a jiffy." she got out her saddering pen. And got right to work on the mayor.

"Thank God you're here, where's Batman?" Chris asked

"Up top, but he's okay...I hope."

Back up top, as the ship rose higher and higher, sinking; Batman saw Bolton, as the rain fell. He was swinging his chain.

"I was working with you Batman, you apprehended the scum of the earth, and I kept them locked away for good!"

"I've seen how you treat your prisoners, forgotten and scared, without hope or compassion!"

"Can it be you actually care for those creatures?"

Back below, Batgirl had nearly everyone out, as the water rose to chest level.

"Almost got it."

"Batgirl hurry!" Summer begged.

The stern was nearly horizontal now, where the two would face off.

"We could have rid this city of the fools in city hall and the police force, we could have mad eour own order!" Lock-Up fumed

"I was made to fight your brand of order!" Batman screamed

"If that's your decision, then that's how it's gonna be-whoa!" Batman tried to throw Lock-Up off, but it backfired, sending the Cped Crusader on a one way collision course with the rudder.

"[Whack]-Ugh!" Lock-Up landed on top of him. Their combined weight moved them to the left, towards the nearest motor. Before being cliced, Batman thought fast, and grabbed some of the dlimy mud off of the rudder, throwing it at Lock-Up!"

"Gah-[Thwack]"

"UGH!" no dice.

"Okay, I think this is the way out...maybe." Batgirl spotted a hatch. Which would put them right out onto the rudder. She opened it to find Lock-Up push Batman over the side, handcuffed

"We could have been a team." Lock-Up whispered

"BATMAN!" she yelled, as he was pushed, Batman reached up, grabbed Lock-Up by the foot, pulling himdown to the water. She and Chris looked down.

"Batman?" suddenly a bat hook attached itself to the rudder, and Batman was pulled up, with a knocked out Lock-Up, he used his keypad on the Utility-Bat to call the Bat-Boat.

"I've been meaning to ask him to teach me that trick.

Lock-Up ironically would be place in Arkham now as a prisoner. Every inmate took this to their advantage.

"Hey look everyone the big shots back!"

"Now, you will learn true lessons in fear." Scarecrow smirked...even though Bolton could kick his ass any day of the week. From inside his cell Bolton was actually a little pleased.

"They thought they could trap me in the world of lunatics, but I showed them, now I can keep an eye on them...they'll never slip passed me again."

**THE END!**

**Glad you liked it guys, we got an original coming atcha, some Joker, a little Catwoman, Killer croc, and Mad Hatter! PLEASE REVIEW! And stay tuned for more!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Richard Moll: **Lock-Up, Computer

**Frank Welker: **Dr. Bartholomew

**Mari Devon: **Summer Gleeson

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Harley Quinn, The Ventriloquist

**Lauren Lipson: **Sadieface

**Peter Oldring: **Scarecrow

**Darran Norris: **Waiter

**Tom Kenny: **Time passing narrator, various

**Clancy Brown: **additional voices

**See YA**


	76. Fish Tailed, Part I

**Villain(s): Joker, Catwoman, The Mad Hatter, Killer Croc**

**Episode Archive: ORIGINAL!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Bruce W. Timm**

**Teleplay By: Michael Reaves&Paul Dini**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 37: Fish Tailed**

Midtown Gotham. In the boardroom, all the major cannery and fish market CEO's were discussing their latest problem...someone is stealing all their fish.

"Alright, ALRIGHT! Order everyone. I call this meeting of the Gotham Fish and Cannery Board to order." the head guy said. "Is every cannery represented? Foley's Fish?"

"Here."

"G1 Cannery."

"Here."

"Morton's Own?"

"That's us."

"Todd's Fisherman...Todd's Fisherman-[slam]"

-WARNING HEATH LEDGER ALERT!-

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-aha-ha-ha-ha-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ho-hee-ha-ha-ho-hee-ha-aha, the Todd's Fisherman company will not be joining us today because they are, well; dead, in their place, Joker Fish!" the psycho said sitting down.

"You...you killed them?"

"No, I shipped them off on a lovely cruise to the Ba-YES I KILLED THEM! Anyway-"

"Gimme one good reason why my boy here shouldn't tear your head off?" The G1 CEO asked

"Hmm, how bout a magic trick." Joker stuck a pencil into the table "I am gonna make this here pencil...disappear."

"Andre!" he ordered. The bodyguard approached Joker, who instantly slammed his head into the pencil, he hit the floor, with the pencil in his eye socket.

"Gasp! No! It's-gasp-it's...Gone. And by the way, this suit, it wasn't cheap, you ought to know, you bout it-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

"Why you little!"

"Hey! Easy, I wanna hear your proposition."

"What do you got Joker?"

"I know why your little fishies keep disappearing, I know why your sales are in the toilet...The Catwoman. You see Catwoman really loves her fish unfortunately, and this little game of night snacking, is just the beginning. You see-"

"Joker, can I come in now?"

"KEEP YOUR HAT ON DORIS!"

"I told you to stop calling me that!"

"And I told you to suck a dick! Now wait for the signal!

"Fine, GOSH!"

"Anyway, it's only a matter of time before she takes you for all you got."

"What are our options?" The Morton's guy asked

"Well it's simple we, kill Catwoman." chuckles and blank stares filled the room

"Your nuts."

"Thank you."

"No you moron! Were not some mob family you can simply manipulate."

"Yeah, we have standards and morals."

"Unlike you."

"Okay, don't say I didn't warn you." Joker stood up.

"Wait wait." his smirk appeared

"Yessssssss?"

"Alright, what do you propose?" the head asked

"Oh, glad you asked-[snap...snap-snap-snap]-That's the freakin' signal Doris!"

"Okay-okay-GOSH!" Mad Hatter entered with a giant box.

"We let loose a few of these, in hopes Miss Kitty takes a few, my very own Joker Fish! Grin's are now 40% wider-Ha-ha!"

"What!"

"Huh?" Joker looked confused.

"Your fish nearly ruined all of our companies!"

"Yeah, Catwoman may make off with a five finger discount every now and again, but you nearly put all of us out of business!"

"No one wanted to buy fish after your little fiasco!"

"It took months to rebuild our companies reputations!"

"Oh come on guys, my Joker fish are 100% eater friendly...well except to cats that is-Ha-Ha, and Catwoman." Which is NOT to say shes part cat, don't even ask.

"We don't want any part in this!"

"I'm calling the police!"

"Nah-tah-tah-tah, let's not do anything hasty." Joker opened his coat, attached to him, a grenade bandolier all attached to one draw string, held by Joker.

"Oh man!"

"Jeez!"

"Crazy!"

"Fine, you want it that way, then just leave, NOW!" the head guy ordered.

"Alright, we know when were not wanted, but in case you do change your minds, here's my card." he placed a Joker card on the table. "Come Hatter."

"Coming." Hatter grabbed all the fish n stuff.

"Hey, why is that card beeping?"

"I don't know."

In the elevator Joker and Hatter were enjoying the soothing music.

"Ah Beethoven's Ode to Joy, a classic, even in elevator style."

"Hey Harold, you know this music really speaks to me."

"It does?"

"Yes, it's telling me, you need to shut the hell up!"

"Well..." they exited the lobby. "So, when is the thing gonna-pft?"

"Funny you should ask...We should see results in 3...2...1-[BOOOM-CRASSSSH]" The whole office floor exploded, many civilians cleared the streets.

"You know Hat, something tells me were not having fish tonight-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" they left the scene in the Jokermobile.

"Now, we should go over our to do list." Hatter recommended.

"Good call, lets see...infiltrate meeting.

"Check."

"Pitch Joker Fish idea to kill Catwoman?"

"Check."

"They agree, and we make big business deal and retire confortably?"

"Uh, outcome 2, perhaps?"

"Ah yes, they refuse, and I kill them all."

"Check."

"Well, would you look at that? looks like were freed up for the evening. Perfect opportunity to commence phase 2-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

"Which is what again? You know for the audience's convenience."

"Ah yes, our loyal fans...hi there...enjoying the program? Anyway; now that all their leader's are dead, these morons at their canneries will be running like chickens with their heads cut off. Perfect relaxed security will allow us to put our Joker fish into their supply. The fishy smell, and the wind will propel the teeny-tine microchips spread around their scales, which will get into the ecosystem, and into the city, allowing us to control their every thought."

"And the only two people who can stop us are-"

"Errrrrr-Batman, Catwoman. But not to worry Doris me boy! We got a little ace up our sleeve to deal with the Cat, as for the Bat; I know he can't resist saving his poor wittle fwame...allowing us plenty of time to put the wheels in motion."

"Good plan."

"I know, I even amaze myself." Now lets get a move on, wouldn't wanna keep our ace waiting."

"Uh...that would be who?"

"Ugh...IT'S CROC YOU IDIOT!

"Okay okay sorry-GOSH!"

-OKAY SAFE TO READ NOW-

Anyway, later that day Montoya was spearheading the investigation in the charred board room. Batman was also looking for clues.

"Oh yeah it was Joker alright."

"Oh my God!"

"How does he do this!"

"Ya know what, I don't even care anymore." The CSI guys were not too happy with Batman always knowing before them.

"It's okay Batman, they're just jealous. How do yo know?"

"Simple." he picked up what looked like a

"A Joker fish?"

"Charred Joker fish. I'll run this by my scanners and see where it's been, maybe I can pick something up, in the meantime, you keep in touch."

"Alright, I can do that I guess. By the way, how do...you...?" he was gone "Dammit!"

At the Bat-Cave, Batman was scanning the fish for various shtuff.

"Ah yes, our old friend the Joker Fish. Find anything interesting sir?" Alfred asked

"Not yet, but I'm certain-" hang on... "Hmm, check this Alfred, tiny microchips imbedded in the scales, pretty loosely, a guy could get hit with one of these pretty fast. This is starting to point back to our old friend the Mad Hatter. But why-wait...it appears, if any cats ingest the fish...they die. GASP-Gwen!"

"Where you off to now?"

"To save Catwoman!" he left on the Batmobile.

"Good luck Batman. I'm sure both you and Trent will need it."

**To be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Alright, we got a mega awesome fight scene up next, and a little chase. Can Batman do it all on his own? Or get some help? And what of Catwoman? Stay tuned World!  
**


	77. Fish Tailed, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Later at Foley's Fish Cannery, after the recent chain of command, this left the workers at a loss on what to do, so most went home early. Leaving piles of the succulent fish behind, ripe for Catwoman's personal dinner.

She sneaked into the cannery, and eyed up a stack of fresh mackerel.

"Ah yes...so beautiful, so tranquil...yum...so tasty." she smacked her lips, and gulped down the mackerel.

She would use her teeth to strip off all the meat, then pull the bone and carcase right out.

"Delicious. Hmm? What's this." a rather colorful looking mackerel caught Catwoman's eye. She picked it up, and examined it a little.

"A Joker Fish?"

"Well...go on Gwen...eat it."

"Gasp!"

"It's good for you-Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Joker was starring down right at her on the rafters just feet above her head.

"Joker...why am I not surprised, is this your doing-no stupid question, why is this your doing?" she asked

"Glad you asked Kitty-poo." he jumped down. "I just wanted the people of Gotham to enjoy my unusually delicious Joker Fish By-Gum! And this was an easy way to do it."

"Yes...your unusually delicious Joker Fish? Gross." she dropped it to the floor. "What's the real scoop?"

"Oh come on now Catzy! Eat it. They're naturally low in cholesterol." Joker said trying to be enticing

"No scheme?"

"Of course not, cross my heart." says the guy with the fingers crossed behind him.

"Well, if you say so, it may look weird, but mackerel is mackerel."

"Yessssss." just as Gwen leaned to put the fish into her mouth. But just as she did-"

"Hey Duncan! Did she eat it yet? Is she dead!"

"What?" shes not amused

"ERGH! Harold you nincompoop! SHE WAS THIS CLOSE YOU STUPID-

-Please Stand-By-

"Oops, sorry." Hatter came out from the darkness.

"Yeah I'll give you sorry! You ruined everything! Remind me never to work with you again...EVER!"

"Wait! Hang on a sec there psycho. You mean this thing's gonna kill me?"

"You, cats, all the same. You see, Cat-Brat, my Joker Fish aren't exactly a hot product...Oh they taste all the same sure, but...no ones buying them. All this lost profit has cost me millions-I'm nearly broke! So I had this little idea. I team up with Doris here-"

"Hey!"

"CAN IT! Anyway, We used his tiny little microchips, that once spread through the fish smell by that large fan there!" Joker pointed to the obnoxiously large ceiling fan above them "They will effect the minds of every pinhead in Gotham!"

"So what do you have to gain by killing me?" Catwoman asked

"Simple, you have the fishy nose to expose my plan, and...The fish companies don't really like you, so I figured I could get them on my side-"

"Didn't work-"

"I WAS GETTING TO THAT! Okay...where was I...oh yeah, they wouldn't budge...so, I did a little evicting...if you will-a little couth de-fish-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"So you're behind the mass murder at the Fish Summit today?"

"No it was Penguin he was really-OF COURSE IT WAS ME! Anyhow...once I dispose of you, no one not even old Batman, can stop my glorious plan-"

"Our glorious-"

"MY glorious plan...with some help from Doris."

"Hey-"

"SHOVE IT! Now, to make sure you don't muck this up-[snap]-oh Crockers!" Out came Killer Croc, with a 10/6 card behind his ear.

"Oh crud."

"And to add a little insult to injury, a little of-a this!" [missssst]

"Augh!"

"AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" he sprayed a fine mist on her face.

"What the,,,what is this?"

"Ah it's a concentrated mist of the cat eliminating venom in my Joker Fish. Only submerging yourself in brackish water can reverse it, and I estimate you have the remainder of the evening to live...or 3 hours, 2 minutes-I don't know I'm not a cat!"

"But I'm NOT!" Catwoman ran away, to the nearest manhole cover, and darted for the sewer.

"Ah yes, the sewers...my element." Croc smirked

"Go get her Crockie! Alright Doris, let's get down to brass tacks."

"Right behind ya."

Catwoman could already feel herself getting weaker. She dashed blindly through the sewers, trying to get away from Croc, who was gaining very fast.

"Must...get...a...a...aw-"

"Oh Catwoman, come out come out wherever you are! You can't hide from me Gwen, you're in my element! No one beats me in my element-NOBODY! That and my good looks are all I got left."

"Well I see the mind control hasn't effected your sterling personality."

"Aw, sticks and stones Gwen, sticks and st-Gah!" Catwoman suddenly leaped on his shoulders to try and get the card off of him.

"Agh! Come on!" she reached for it. But Croc's brute strength was too much for Catwoman to handle.

"Whoa-whoa-whoa-aw come on-[splash]" she was thrown off.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...give up Kitty, you can't win." he approached her.

"Ergh...dammit." she wasn't giving up yet.

Meanwhile in the control room, Mad Hatter and Joker were readying their fan-a-ma-jig.

"Alright Doris, you sure everything is ready to go?" Joker asked

"Positive, I triple checked."

"Good, NOW! Ignition-throttle-and..."

[zzzzzzzzaaaap-zap-zzz-z]

The fan suddenly had a little electrical problem.

"...Triple checked, eh?" this was followed with a slap to the back of the head

"Ouch! Look, lemme just go out there and-"

"Oh go suck one! I'll do it, I swear if you want something done right...do it yourself." Joker grunted, he took a small tool box, and a Tommy gun, just in case.

"You sure you don-"

"Yes I'm sure Doris! Just stay in there, and try not to break anything, OKAY!"

"Ugh, yes sir."

"Good boy." Joker exited the control room, grunting.

Only little did either of them know, it was Batman who messed with the fan, severing all the main wires. He then moved onto the control booth, where Hatter was blissfully unaware of what was about to happen. He was reading a story book and sipping tea.

"I don't care what anybody says, the queen of hearts is the most-[creak]" the door opened "Oh back already I see, well that must have been a quick-OH GOSH!"

Now we go back to the sewers where Catwoman, getting weaker by the minute was holding Croc back with her whip.

[whi-crack] "Back, back you! [whi-crack]" suddenly Croc grabbed it in mid-crack.

"Ooh, you're really scarring my Cat." he grabbed the whip from her hands.

"Aw crap!"

"Now...where were we?"

"Aw man!" she started to sprint again

"Yeah that's it! Run, run like the feline you are Gwen!"

"Planning on it!" She continued to sprint through the tunnels, until it seemed like Gwen was at the end of her rope. "WHOOOA!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha...now I gotcha."

"Oh crap!"

Gwen was at the end of a waterfall, which below was a large detention lake. She was almost about to fall in, but Croc had that covered

"Goodbye Catwoman, I hope one day I can-aw screw it-[push]"

"Whoooooooooooa-[grab]"

"OH SH*T!" As Gwen fell, she managed to grab Croc's leg with her. And they both fell to certain doom. [SPLASH]

Back up top, Joker headed inside the fan, and saw if he could fix the problem.

"Well here's the problem, the wires have been cut somehow." Good job. "Well, looks I'll be knocking off a Lowes-[fwip-fwip-fwip]-What!" A bat hook and rope, tied Joker up. Suddenly the cables holding the fan up started to give way. -[creeeeeak-cree-cree-cre] "Oh crap...-[CRASH-pong-pang-BOOM]-AHHHH-Unh!"

Joker hit the floor, knocked out. Or so he appeared to be.

"Well...i guess I will see you next fall, Joker." suddenly he cut the lines

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Not quite Batzy!" he got in a fighting stance. "Now ask yourself this Batman, are you going to try and take me down...or go save your kitten who I imagine is clinging to life...you're call...Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Joker dashed away, only for a Batarang to whiz towards him, the Clown Prince was able to grab it. "Miss me! If you're looking for Catwoman, shes in the sewer! BYEEEE!" Joker disappeared. Batman could hear police sirens in the distance.

"Ergh! Dammit!"

Meanwhile in the sewer, Catwoman found herself laying on her back, on the ledge next to the detention pool. She felt herself waking up that she came to the realization.

"Oh yeah...brackish...sewer water." suddenly Croc appeared above her.

"Yeah, nice isn't it."

"Gasp!"

"Yeah...and now it's time I finished you Catwom-[funk]-ugh...[thud]" Croc suddenly fell over backwards, a tranquilizer dart was in his neck. Catwoman took the card out from behind his ear. And over came

"Batman!" she ran up to give him a hug.

"I couldn't leave you like this, don;t worry, no one's gonna be under any mind control with those rotten fish anymore."

"But what about-"

"Yeah, Joker got away." he grimaced

"Well, what are you gonna do?"

"I know...listen...I know it looks like-"

"I get it, this was you owing me one."

"No Gwen... I mean about us...we need to talk, and besides-[click]"

"Handcuffs?"

"It's a long ride back to Arkham...that gives us plenty of time."

"Sigh, some people just never change." she shook her head.

**The End**

**Alrighty guys, glad you enjoyed that! Looks like we got another one of my personal favorites up next, The Lion and the Unicorn. Followed by two originals, both with Rupert Thorne, with a little Riddler and Two-Face. Stay TUNED! And PLEASE REVIEW!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Efrem Zmbalist Jr.: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Courtney Montoya

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Drew Nelson: **Joker

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Catwoman

**Brian Fraud: **The Mad Hatter

**Adam Reid: **Killer Croc

**Gary Cole: **Summit Leader

**Kevin Michael Richardson: **G1 Cannery CEO

**Jess Harnell: **Foley's Fish CEO

**Maurice LaMarche: **Morton's Own Co-CEO

**Tress MacNeille: **Morton's Own Co-CEO

**Tara Strong: **CSI Detective

**John DiMaggio: **CSI Detective

**Rob Paulsen: **Additional Voices

**GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!**


	78. God Save the Alfred! Part I

**Villain: Red Claw**

**Episode Rewrite: The Lion and the Unicorn (1995)**

**Written By: Steve Perry, Diane Duane, Phillip Morwood**

**Directed By: Boyd Kirkland**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 38: God Save the Alfred!**

Twas a danky, cold and damp evening in the Bat-Cave...so pretty much a typical evening in the Bat-Cave. Cody was busy doing a little gymnastics on his parallel bars shirtless, performing dismounts and such...don't worry he's perfectly straight.

Actually he was training his agility and stamina...smart boy. Anyway, Alfred was de-linting the cape of Batman, cowling up for the evening.

"It's alright Alfred, the people I deal with out there won't mind a little lint." he said

"A job worth doing should be done right Master Trent." Alfred insisted.

"Right, I'll keep that in mind next time Mr. Freeze has in a block of ice...but at least they're won't be any lint." Trent added getting into the Batmobile.

"Oh ha-ha sir, now you decide to get a sense of humor." Alfred rolled his eyes, and turned to Cody, who landed a perfect dismount.

"I do wish you'd put on a shirt, your apt to catch cold in this dank cave." Alfred suggested.

"Yes folks a perfect 10 for Cody Drake to take the gold, and the crowd goes wild-Ahhhhh! Ahhhh!" Cody pretended he was at the Olympics.

"Did you hear me Master Cody?"

"Ugh, yes Alfred, right away Alfred." the boy wonder rolled his eyes. And grabbed his shirt. The adjured upstairs

"I've fixed your supper, it's upstairs in the oven."

"What would we do without you Alfred?"

"Oh I shudder to think sir, I shudder to think."

Later that evening, Alfred had prepared a pot of tea for Trent's return. The phone rang, he set the platter alongside it, and politely answered the phone.

"Now who could be calling at this late hour?" he pondered picking up the receiver. "No caller ID...hmm, ahem; good evening Wayne Manor."

"_Alfie? It's your cousin Freddie." the other guy said in a thick British accent_

"Fredrick?" Alfred pronounced in shock

"_I say old ting could you meet me at the usual place? It's rather urgent."_

"Why...why yes of course, I'll leave immediately." Alfred hung up

"_There, I called him, now what-[slap]"_

Alfred was definitely suspicious, but what choice did he have. He hastily packed, and left a note by the platter of tea, and was on his way. Trent read the note, and was quite puzzled the next morning.

"Hey, did Geoff eat all of the food? Or was a butler's strike called? I came down for breakfast and all I found was this. Where's Alfred?" Cody asked a little confused, he set down the cold waffle and read the note.

"Dear Master Trent, my apologies for leaving so abruptly, I've just learned a personal matter of a cousin of mine that must be resolved immediately, I shall endeavor to return in a few days, your obedient servant Alfred. Wow this must be serious, Alfred wouldn't leave a dirty dish unwashed if England were sinking into the sea."

"I know." Trent grimaced.

Later, Alfred arrived in London. It was a smoggy evening. So, yeah a typical London evening. Alfred appeared at the "usual place" waiting for his friend. Suddenly, two cockneys approached the butler.

"Fredrick?" Alfred asked

"Ello, is that Alfie?" the shorter guy asked

"Mr. Pennyworth will do." the butler insisted.

"Right then, Mr. Freddie sent us...whats you to come with us." the taller one added

"Fredrick sent you?" Alfred raised an eyebrow.

"That's right old love, come along now, we'll pop round and see him."

"I think not! Fredrick knows I don't like being called Alfie as much as he hates Freddie...what have you done with him?"

"...Grab 'im Bert!"

The two chased after Alfred. With quick thinking the butler used the hook of his umbrella, to swipe at their feet, causing the two to slip over each other.

"Whoa-no! [thud]"

Alfred disappeared into the smog. Trent was asleep in his bed, when his phone rang. He picked it up.

"H-hello?"

"_Good evening Master Trent, I'm so sorry to have disturbed your rest I've-"_

"Alfred! Are you alright? Where are you?" Trent asked frantically

"_I'm at the Yorkshire Arms at the moment, in London."_

"London England?"

"_There's only one Master Trent. I seem to be in a rather sticky situation and was wondering if you could-[crack-crack-smash]" The two guys from earlier barged into Alfred's room_

"_Come along easy gramps, we don't wanna 'urt you."_

"_It appears that I must be going sir I-I have unexpected gues-" the lunged_

"Alfred! ALFRED!" . . . "Alfred?" [dial tone] "Grrrrrr-AHHHHHHHHHH-[smash]" Trent threw the receiver against the wall.

Later in the Bat-Cave, Batman and Robin were all dressed up and ready to head off to merry old England.

"Before he came to the states, Alfred worked as an Attache for the British Security Force and Special Air Services. More desk jobs then field work." Trent explained "He made a name for himself by dissolving very diplomatic and dangerous situations, in high security areas."

"Wow, and here I thought he was just a sweet older guy who polished the silver and fixed me sandwiches." Robin chuckled

"He's fixed more then that in his day, underneath Alfred's very proper exterior lies the heart of a government agent." the two entered the fully fueled Bat-Wing. "Now he mentioned his cousin. As far as I know he has no more living relatives...and cousin, can sometimes mean a fellow member of an intelligence organization."

"Well I hear England's nice this time of year." Robin added.

They took off, and flew across the ocean, straight for the King's Land.

Anyway Alfred sat in the back seat of a car, tied up, and blindfolded. Eventually, the car stopped inside the walls to a castle. They were in the middle of the courtyard, when the driver pulled Alfred from the car.

"End of the line mate." Alfred was greeted by Fredrick, a British man around Alfred's age, with gray hair, and a two-piece mustache like Alfred's.

"It's good to see you again old man, I'm sorry it has to be under such circumstances." he sighed

"Exactly what circumstances are we talking about?" Alfred asked just as his blindfold was taken off. "Gasp! Good heavens, Red Claw!"

"So pleased to make your acquaintance Mr. Pennyworth, if you do exactly as I say you might live to see tomorrow."

Later, after finding it, Trent and Cody were inspecting Alfred's ransacked hotel room.

"Hey Trent over here, looks like he put up a struggle." Cody said holding up a smashed vase. "Poor Alfred he must have been petrified."

"I doubt it, he was pretty formidable in his day."

Later, after a quick investigation, the two left the hotel, while across the street in their car, Bert and Ernie, the guys chasing Alfred earlier talked over the phone to Red Claw

"Two blokes just came out a Pennyworth's room...right." he hung up. "Come on."

Trent and Cody disappeared down an ally, and when the two idiots entered, they were nowhere to be found.

"What the?"

"Where'd they go?"

"I gotta bad feeling about this Ernie?"

"I tell ya Bert! Were chasing a pair of poxy ghosts!"

"Hey!"

"What the!" Batman and Robin appeared

"Stone the crows!" Stone the crows I don't know what stone the crows means! Anyway they drew pistols and shot their way out the ally.

[bang-bang-bang-bang]

They ran for the nearest empty double Decker bus. Of wit, they promptly threw the driver out, and drove away

"Aw-[thud] HEY!"

They continued down the street. Batman tried to barge his way in, but Ernie shut the doors on him. Robin then threw them off course by getting in the way of the windshield.

"May I see your license? [screeeeeeee!] They suddenly crashed. Robin waited outside while Batman pulled the two unconscious bodies from the wreck.

"When they wake up, they'll tell us who they're working for."

"I don't think we have to wait that long, look." Robin pulled up one of their sleeves to see the Red Claw insignia.

"Red Claw!" Batman sneered

Back at the castle, the two former agents were tied up in chairs inside the main study where Red Claw was giving them the runaround.

"You lousy wasted old farts! I've wasted enough courtesy on you two!" she fumed

"Courtesy? None that I've seen-[smack]" Fredrick, why'd you do that for.

"I want this missile silo operational. I plan for the British government to pay me 10 billion pounds to keep me from wiping London off the map." I think Bill Gates can afford that.

"You understand old man I had no choice in the matter." Fredrick insisted

"But of course dear boy." Alfred assured him

"Enough of this! Each of you holds half of the code! Now talk! OR ELSE!" Red Claw yelled

"Madam that is impossible." Alfred began

"We are both signatories of the official secrets act." Fredrick finished

"I've already thought of that-[snap]" one of her goons brought over a case, containing several ammo viles, and a gun.

"Oh dear." Alfred groaned

Over at the War room in Parliament, three of England's Joint Chief's were discussing their latest issues. Two male, one female...damn they even get a fireplace!

"Still no word from castle Blarquon. Our post has never missed a check in." the first guy said

"Here's more bad news. Agent Fredrick has been listed missing." The other guy said

"I don't like this gents, Fredrick was on the original security team at Blarquon throughout the whole Cold War. Him and that fellow from Nottingham-"

"Pennyworth...Alfred Pennyworth. Our humblest of apologies for intruding." Batman said, he and Robin entered through one of the windows

"What?"

"How did you get in here?" The female asked

"We don't have time for protocol, Pennyworth is also missing, we believe him and Fredrick might be in considerable danger! What was the name of that castle? Batman asked

"And why should we give you that information?"

"Because I can give you Red Claw."

"What?"

"Jerry! Call the queen immediately!"

"I'll see to it myself!"

"And blast it, someone get me Prime Minister Cameron in here on the double!"

"Aye Sir!"

"I'll take care of this Charles." the female said. "Blarquon, Castle Blarquon on the Western Scottish Coast." she said "The base of project Excaliber, our Cold War nuclear defense."Twas one of our last land based missile silos, do you think that's what Red Claw is...after?" by the time she looked up, the two had vanished. "Hmm, apparently so."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	79. God Save the Alfred! Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"What? Truth serum? I must say Red Claw, I'm a little disappointed. Knowing you, the older painful methods should have suited your fancy." Alfred said trying to be clever.

"Can it! I do like the older methods, however, that is time I do not have, and besides; I know you both would sooner die then tell me under your pitiful little oath."

"She has a point."

"No offense Frederick but please, you're not helping." Red Claw injected Frederick with the serum.

"Ah-ah...uh...gah!" Frederick winced in pain trying to fight it. "Won't-I...won't."

"Fight it if you like, you'll find your efforts futile, but; it might be amusing." Red Claw chuckled getting ready to inject Alfred

"Well anything to amuse a lady, if lady is the word I would use...which I wouldn't."

"Oh, sticks and stones." she injected him

"Gah-gih...eh...augh!"

"Fight it all you want Pennyworth! Sooner or later, the serum always wins. Give me your access code for the missile activator."

"No! You'll see. You'll get nothing but gibberish out of me madam. I come from horns of cootenfern and make a sudden sally, a-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum, and bicker down the valley." Alfred slurred to keep his mind

"And people wonder why no one takes Britain seriously anymore-THE CODE OLD MAN!" Red Claw ordered.

"Won't...I WON'T!"

"Atta boy Frederick!"

"Humph, you'll see, soon everyone will." Red Claw walked to the nearest wall and turned a lion wall hang, the book shelf opened up, and out popped a chair and control monitor, this would be the missile command post.

"Now, that code agent Frederick...NOW!"

"Ergh...Ah-14-14, Garriers crescent, Blairquan upper." Red Claw ordered a henchwoman to type it in, access granted.

"Absurdly simple like most passwords, now, as for you." she walked over to Alfred.

"Half-a knee-half-a knee-fighting on." Alfred slurred.

"Desperate valor to the last. Go ahead Mr. Pennyworth, you'll see-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm."

Down below, at an indoor wet dock's below the castle, two henchmen were stacking boxes. One heard a noise from the waters. He got his gun ready.

"You see something?"

"Yeah...heard is more likely, I think there's something down there." He got closer to the water's edge. "Eh, maybe it was just a-[splash]"Batman's hand reached out from the water and pulled him in.

"Ben...Ben?" tap-tap "Huh?"

"Shh." Robin tapped the other guy on the shoulder.

"Why you little-[crash]" Robin threw the box he had, over his head, knocking the other guy out. Batman pulled the other knocked out guy from the water.

The two walked up a flight of stairs, and entered a corridor onside of the castle.

"Looks clear." Robin whispered. They sneaked passed a large patrol...and by that I mean, they swiped and knocked out each guy in the line out of the way without the guy in front knowing, Batman personally did that job. Anyway a camera caught the two running throughout the castle. Red Claw saw this on the monitors.

"Impossible! How could he have learned about this!" she fumed. Cuz you stole his butler! She slammed on the alarm button, and in no time, her soldiers swarmed various parts of the castle.

"There they are!" They fired.

Batman and Robin managed to avoid them through the main room in the castle, they picked a door which led them to a corridor, on either side was a drop. Hollow eagles were placed on the walls. The door suddenly closed, and a suspicious liquid spewed from the eagles mouths.

"What the?" Robin asked

"Yeah I know, but I have an idea."

"Well let's hear it-"

. . .

The eagles have stopped spewing, and two soldiers entered the empty corridor for body counting, they didn't see them over the sides. Red Claw looked at the monitor victorious, she thought she had killed Batman...and Robin.

"Well, that's one less thing to worry about."

"Ha, two less things."

"Oi Dennis, you're always the humorist."

Unbeknownst to them, Batman and Robin used their suction cup gloves and feet to hide on the bottomside of the bridge, when the time was right, they threw them into the murky pool below.

"What the-[whoooooooa]"

The dynamic duo continued their way through the castle.

Anyway, inside the study, Red Claw and some of her team got a camera crew assembled to broadcast her message to London.

"Londoners, your ancient city has survived plagues, fires, even the Blitz, but unless 5 billion pounds (it is 5 billion Kyrogue I checked!) are delivered to me by midnight tonight, there will be nothing left to survive. We have Blairquon Castle, it's missile and the codes to activate it at our disposal. You have one hour, otherwise I will be forced to plunge this warhead into the middle of Travolga Square. And if I do that-hmm, well...God Save the Queen." her transmission ended.

"You sure it was wise to make demands like that when we don't even have the other half of the code?" The cameraman asked

"I will have the code in a matter of minutes!" she turned to Alfred, who was painfully fighting the urge.

Anyway, Batman and Robin were climbing the stairs to the castle, taking out two more soldiers very creatively.

Red Claw was now getting furious. She gave Alfred a good bitch slap, and grabbed the old man by the collar.

"Give me the access code, or so help me I'll-"

"The lion...and the unicorn, fighting for the crown." Alfred slurred half asleep.

"ERAGGGH! How could he be resisting the drug for so long it's impossi-"

"The lion, and the unicorn, fighting...for the...crown."

"-Wait! Wait he's not resisting, that dog riddle is the code!" she ran for the keyboard "The...lion...and...the...unicorn...fighting...for...the...crown." Access granted "Yes! At Last!" the big red button appeared. Red Claw set the coordinates for Travolga Square, in London and set the time for 1 hour.

There was a large dining room right outside from the study, where Red Claw's security team was poised and Ready for Batman and Robin. Suddenly a knock came at the door. It opened, a knocked out soldier fell in, as did three smoke grenades.

"Watch out! Smoke! [pop-fooooosh]"

"Cough-cough-Gah-[thud]"

"Where are they-[crash]-unh" The dynamic duo fought their way through the room.

Red Claw heard the commotion from next door, she grabbed a gun.

"You three, come with me. You, watch them." she ordered the female henchman. They entered the smoke filled room

"Fan out! This is the only exit to the control room, they'll have to come this way, and when they do! AHHH!" They fired about the smoke, but no one noticed Robin run across the table, and through the door. While Batman simply did what he did best, kick some ass.

Robin entered, and was met by the henchwoman. He simply raised his hands, as a chair was knocked over her head

"[CRASH]-Ah-ugh-[thud]" It was a freed Alfred

"And here all I thought you dusted was furniture." Robin chuckled

"Yes, and a Louie Gaz too...what a pity." Alfred sighed gazing at the lowly piece. He gasped "Robin look out-[smack]"

"Unh..." Red Claw knocked him out from behind.

"Goodness Me!" Fredrick yelled Red Claw had her gun aimed at Alfred, she locked the door behind her, walked over to the keyboard and pressed the button anyway. The missile launched.

Batman kicked open the open door, just to see Red Claw leave through a secret door. Batman ran to the monitors and Alfred tended to Robin.

Dear Lord!" Alfred yelled. Fredrick managed to get free himself. They took notice the time to detonation was less then 7 minutes.

"No! Do any of you have the access code?" he turned to the two.

"Were British, what do you think?" Fredrick asked

"Then it looks like I'm doing this the old fashioned way!" Batman used the keypad on his Utility-Bat to start the parked Bat-Wing outside in the courtyard.

Batman sprinted his way through the castle, until he found it, he quickly took flight, he followed the missile. He tried to get a lock so he can fire his two intercept missiles, which would destroy the nuke.

"Almost...got it." he flipped the switch on the joystick, and had his thumb on the button. "Hmm, need something cool to say...Got it-"

"How about...adios, Batman!"

"What the-ERGH!" Red Claw hid in the back seat, and got a hold on his neck, the bird went flying in all sorts of directions, losing the target lock.

"Ergh-come on-gah!" he nudged Red Claw back into her seat, she took his cowl with her.

"Huh, yes! Now let's see who-Ergh!" She couldn't get a good look at his face, and still tried to get at his neck. Batman rached for the passenger ejector seat -[BOOSH] Sending a surprised Red Claw hurdling into the air.

"Gasp! I knew it! Batman is-[SPLASH] she hit the water.

The missile got closer and closer to London. With the hatch open, the wind made it hard to concentrate. However, Trent managed to get a lock on the missile as it got closer to Big Ben.

"Gotcha...Aloha, Baby-[fwoosh- - -Ka-BOOM]" SUCCESS! The missile exploded in the air.

"Yes-HA-HA! YESSS!" Batman yelled triumphantly, he flew back to the castle.

The next Day Fredrick and Alfred were at Heathrow Airport, saying their goodbyes.

"I don't suppose you would like to come out of retirement?"

"And take up civil service payrases again? Hardly old man, I've become accustomed to my style of living." Alfred smiled

"It's a grave pity, it was just like old times."

"Give my best to Whitehall." Alfred said before entering his flight gate home.

**The End**

**Boy wasn't that something? Well I thought so. Anyway we got some Gray Goblin, Riddler and Rupert Thorne up next in Puzzled, then more Thorne and Two-Face. So REVIEW Happy Thanksgiving and stay tuned!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Peter Oldring: **Robin

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Julia Chantrey: **Red Claw

**Roy Doctrice: **Fredrick

**Wally Wingert: **Bert

**Tom Kane: **various soldiers

**Hal Rayle: **Ernie

**Neil Ross: **Joint Chief #1, soldier

**David McCallum: **Joint Chief #2

**Jennifer Hale: **Joint Chief #3

**Frank Welker: **various soldiers

**Jeff Bennett: **various soldiers, cameraman

**Dee Bradley Baker: **additional voices

**Candi Milo: **Female Henchman

**HAPPY THANKSGIVING!**


	80. Puzzled, Part I

**Villain(s): Rupert Thorne, Riddler, The Gray Goblin**

**Episode Archive: ORIGINAL!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri**

**Teleplay By: Tom Ruegger&Alan Burnett**

**Art Direction: Bruce W. Timm**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 39: Puzzled**

Riddler sat in a comfy chair in the office of Rupert Thorne.

"I've called you here Mr. Nygma, because I believe you are the exact man I need to get the job done on this...little problem I'm having." Thorne began

"Sure thing Mr. Thorne, and might I say, you have not found a more superior person for this task...now, what is this little problem, exactly?" Riddler asked

"Glad you asked, Mr. Ferris Boyle has stuck his cape and his wing into my business one time too many. I want him dealt with."

"The Gray Goblin? What happened?"

"He's been destroying my various fronts and my rackets! No one sure why! At least Two-Face has a motive when he does it! But that Boyle is a slippery little bastard. That little radioactive Joker shark really messed him up. It unfortunately made him more stronger, more cunning-"

"More crazy."

"Exactly. Your job Mr. Nygma, is to use your brain smarts, and street smarts, to find him, catch him...kill him. Any questions?" Thorne asked sitting back down

"Uh...yeah, how much we talking?" Riddler asked

"How bout this, 2 million now up front, for resources, supplies, and most of all, motivation, plus another 5 when you complete the job. Sound good?"

"Good, ha-ha, sounds great!" Riddler said delighted.

"Excellent...now get to work."

"Yes sir." Riddler took the two suitcases of money.

"I expect great things from you Mr. Nygma, I trust you won't let me down."

"Of course not sir."

Twas later that evening that at Wayne Manor, Trent was having a party, to celebrate Wayne Enterprises successful quarter.

"Jen, nice to see you."

"Hey Mr. Wayne."

"Scott, so glad you can make it."

"Howdy Trent!"

"Shifty! What goes on brother." He walked into the kitchen. Where Alfred was getting another platter of Hors d'oevers ready.

"Got that platter ready Alfred, Chantel is getting antsy."

"How can you be so calm sir?" Alfred asked

"What do you mean?"

"Not to dwell on this but..." Alfred looked around, then whispered "Red Claw knows who you are."

"Oh, ha-ha-ha, I doubt it, plus; I doubt shes doing any talking at that English Prison Fredrick had her sent to."

"Ah yes, Radcliffe Penitentiary. Like your American Alcatraz...only more brutal, and still in commission, thanks Master Trent, I feel better already." Alfred walked out of the kitchen with the platter.

"Yeah, here's hoping she stays there. And it was sure nice of Lucius to watch over Geoff and Bridgette tonight while I do this."

"Say something Trent?"

"Oh you know Geoff I was just saying-GEOFF!" Trent looked over to see Geoff eating some food. "What are you doing here?"

"Leslie said I needed another week before this ankle bone heels to anything strenuous, which is no-problemo in my book."

"Great! It's a school night for Cody, plus he's tired as hell after last night's mission. Looks like it's up to Batgirl."

"Come on, you gotta have some faith in her right?"

"Geoff...I know you love her, but Bridgette Gordon can sometimes be the most clumsy, uncoordinated person on the face of the planet." Trent explained

"Oh come now Trent, that is so not tr- ha-ha-ha-ha...ha-ha...ha...yeah you're right. Hey maybe Lucius can guide her while he's on Intel detail."

"Maybe...look just rest that ankle will ya?"

"Can do brother!"

"And how come you never call me dad? Were always on a first name basis!"

Somewhere in South Gotham, Batgirl was swinging from building to building doing what she does best...trying not to be clumsy as hell.

"Whoa-whoa-whoa-[thud]- Tuesday's is-is...a-applesauce day."

"_Bridgette don't start with that, you weren't even in that episode." _

"Sorry Lucius." She climbed to the top of the nearest building, and a few blocks over, she knew something wasn't right.

Across the street, she noticed a Lincoln park in front of a seemingly abandoned apartment building. Out came three well dressed gentleman and-

"Riddler!"

"_Where?"_

"On the corner of 16th and McShane."

"_Huh...shold be an old abandoned apartment building on that corner. Better move with caution, because whatever this is, it cannot be any good."_

"Got it Lucius, this will be a slam du-whoa-whoa-no-no-no-no-no-no-NOOOOO-[crash]"

"_Do I even want to know?"_

"...Ow...not really..."

"_Ugh...Be careful Batgirl...I'll be back I'm gonna get my hands some of Alfred's delictable hors d'eouvers." _

"Gotcha Lucius...ow."

Inside the old apartment building, the three goons, and Riddler searched the building from top to bottom.

"Yo Riddles? No sign of Mr. Goblin." one said

"Keep looking, he has to be here, word on the street is he loves this place for hiding out, where else would a deranged former businessman hide?"

"Uh...that supposed to be a riddle?" Another asked

"Uh...no, did you want it to be-"

"NOOOO!"

"God like we didn't get enough all freakin' day!"

"Yeah! Like I give a flying sh*t about what has wings but doesn't fly!"

"Duh! Red Bull!" Riddler did a face palm

"Ugh, we'll give the place one last go over boss, and that's it."

"Sounds good."

Batgirl crawled through the age old vents of the place while one guy searched one of the apartment rooms. Conveniently enough he was right under a duct. Batgirl got herself fastened into a drop in harness, and slowly dropped into the room. She used the vulcan squeezy thing, and he fell asleep...But let's watch the hilarious seen first!

"Huh...oh yeah, I forgot I bought this lottery ticket this morning." he grabbed the ticket, and a quarter, and went to scratching. "Let's see here...uh-huh...Uh-Huh...YES! I won a million-gah...unh...sleepy-[thud]. Batgirl stood on the ground, and held up his winning ticket.

"Somehow I doubt you'll need this where you're going." she handcuffed him, and dropped him outside. Then found the other henchman. He was taking a leak...Yeah I'm gonna skip what happens in the respect to the rating, let's just skip to where he's knocked out, and placed by the other henchman.

Now for the last henchman, who was babbling on the phone outside when he spots his other fellow henchmen knocked out in the back.

"What in the...I'll call ya back Mr. Thorne." he hangs up "Blake? Marco, what are you idiots doing...Marco why is your fly down, and-[thwak]-ugh-[thud]" knocked out he is placed with the others.

"Three down, one Riddler to go. Ha, and they said I was clumsy-whoa-whoa-[thud]"

After yet another mishap, she walked back inside the apartment in search of Riddler, but after 20 minutes, nothing. There was no way he would have or could have left without her knowing. It was when she looked into one apartment room, in the bathroom mirror, she noticed tomething written in red...something, it covered most of the mirror.

"Hello, what's this...What do you call a bat without a drill? . . . Turn around...GASP"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-screwed!" from his cane he shot two Riddler Brand torso and leg shackles, which stopped Batgirl right in her tracks.

"Well-well, I get to get rid of those morons outside, and you all at the same time, two Bats with one stone, as it were." Riddler chuckled

"What's your game Nygma? Who are those guys? And what are you doing here?"

"My game, dear Lady Bat...is money...and power, these boys are associates of Mr. Thorne. And as for my location..." he walked towards the nearest open window and got out a large controller. "Is to do this, I leave you now young Batgirl with this riddle. The only thing hotter then a puzzling explosion and a diabolical plan...is Fried BAT! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" he jumped and pressed the button.

"NOOOOOOO-[KA-BOOM!]" the building imploded.

Riddler looked at the wreckage.

"My-my, someone should have gotten better insurance, oh that is good! Thank Goodness I picked a copy of Joker's latest evil villains pun's book: The death edition." Riddler got in the car, and drove away.

Now because PhenomsServent will be mighty pissed if I leave the chapter like this shocking scene, instead of unveiling this in the next chapter...So here it is...Because I like all my fans =)

Batgirl crawled from the wreckage, unshackled, and unharmed.

"Wow, this instant invisibility suit really came in handy, hey Lucius."

"_What, you mean that silly thing worked? Well, glad you liked it." he sat taking his seat back at the Bat-Computer_

"Yeah well I still have to look into what Riddler is planning...Whatever it may be."

Later at his secret lair...not so secret anymore, Riddler was on the phone.

"So, everything is working mighty nicely, Thorne's associates are dead, along with Batgirl, and Thorne will think it's you who destroyed the building. So then he'll just keep sending me more money to take you down, and when the moment is right...-

. . .

-"We strike Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Riddler my boy you're a stinkin' genius! This plan was pure gold! I like having a spy in the Kingpin's organization. I will posses Rupert Thorne's Racket's and his corporation, oh, and when I do-Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW! YES THE GUY ON THE PHONE IS THE GRAY GOBLIN  
**


	81. Puzzled, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Back at the Bat-Cave, Batgirl, Geoff, and Lucius were going over pieces of the carnage consumed in the fire. While Batgirl...did some Batgirl stuff

"Well...it's arson alright." Lucius deduced

"Thanks a lot Commander Obvious, we reeeeeeeeally had no idea that was the case." Geoff said rolling his eyes at Lucius's statement.

"You sure old Noah Nygma is behind this Bridgette?"

"Without a doubt."

"But why work for Rupert Thorne?"

"Who knows. Noah's smart, maybe he wants his big brain to crack a really big safe?" Batgirl suggested

"But why blow up an abandoned apartment in South Gotham? It's not like he expected Bridgette to be there...Or did he?" Geoff pondered

"You know what I think?" Lucius asked

"What?"

"I think Thorne's being set up."

"WHAT?"

"Think about it. Riddler leads the crew on a wild goose chase only to kill them...I think he's working for whoever Thorne wants rubbed out."

"That's...Wow."

"Damn Lucius, I take back what I said about you being Commander obvious."

"Thank you Geoff, now if I were Batgirl, I would get off to Thorne enterprises. And fast."

"Right, speaking of bats..." she chuckled

"Yeah I doubt he's going to be able to break away from his party anytime soon." Lucius smiled.

Batgirl got her Bat-Glider in the air, and flew off to Thorne Enterprises.

"Meanwhile, is that ankle really broken?" Lucius asked

"More or less, Doc said to give it another week." Geoff insisted

"Yeah well, with the Joker still on the loose and-"

"Don't start with me Lucius, I'm trying okay-"

"All I'm saying is, in my day-"

"DON'T YOU EVEN get me started with a back in my day speech!"

"Well then I guess you're just going to have to crutch your way out of the cave then...but it's such a long walk."

"Errrrgh! Damn you Lucius Fox!" Geoff fell back into the chair, groaning

"Good, now where was I? Oh yes, back in my day-"

Meanwhile in Thorne's huge, window covered office. He was meeting with Riddler, unaware of the question marked psycho's true plans...or was he?

"You wanted to see me Riddler? Well this is a surprise, how did this evening's raid on that hideout go?"

"Well Mr. Thorne that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Boy did things go south!"

"Uh-huh." the Kingpin raised an eyebrow

"You see...Boyle already knew were coming see. To make a long story short...they're dead, the hideout's ruined."

"Uh-huh...how tragic." Thorne said pretending to be interested while stirring his tea. "So? I gave you money, what do you want me to do about all this?"

"Well that's what I wanted to talk to you about Mr. Thorne, I uh...need some more money-"

[Spit-take]-" Cough-cough-cough-WHAT! Cough-cough-how do you blow through 2 mill in as may days-no not even! I gave you the money today!"

"Oh you know...henchmen are expensive-"

"THEY WERE MY HENCHMEN! I let you use them at gratis!" vocab word!

"And the car-"

"I thought you said you used YOUR car!"

"Well, now I kinda need a new one...so...another 2 million should tide me over-"

"Uh no, I don't think so-[snap]"

Suddenly, Frankie; and several other gangsters appeared from secret locations about the office. All had guns pointed at the surprised Riddler, even Thorne.

"What? What is this! I don't understand?"

"Oh please, drop the act Nygma! What did you think I was born yesterday? Hmm?" Thorne asked

"Well since the gig is up, yeah kinda." Riddler sighed putting his hands up.

"I knew you were in cahoots with G-squared the whole time. Why do you think I picked YOU of ALL the other competent vill-you know what...scratch that, you are fairly competent compared to those other deadbeats I'll give you that-BUT! I knew you and Mr. Boyle are buddy-buddy. All I to do was figure out your game...your puzzle...and now I see it. YOU'RE SPYING ON ME!"

"Alright, you got me, nail-[donk-donk-donk]-right on the head."

"Good! Now, I'm gonna have Frankie here kill you, then I'm gonna dispose of Mr. Humanitarian myself. Frankie, dispose of this trash if you would be so kind."

"Yes sir boss-heh-heh." the gangsters got closer.

"So this is how it ends, eh?" Riddler asked. Thorne was back at his desk sipping his tea. "Me gunned down in your office, all the while, you watch."

"Good Heavens no! You'll leave a stain on my imported carpet! So I'm gonna have Frankie here, lead you to the nearest balcony and toss you off my building. Remember Riddler, it's not the fall-"

"It's the sudden splat." Frankie finished

"Oh, good one-you been reading Joker's new pun book?"

"I have actually, really good stuff in here." Rupert added taking his copy of the book and quickly skimming through it. "So, any last words Noah E. Nygma?"

"Uh...-" [CRASH]

"WHAT! . . . YOU!"

"ME! AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" The Gray Goblin crashed through the window behind on his purple wing. "Sorry, am I late to this little party? Gasp! And me without my good tux-oh I must look a sight."

"Errrrrr-Boyle-"

"Rupee old chum-now, what's this about throwing my good friend Noah here off the side of your building?"

"He was conspiring with YOU!"

"What? He was...oh wait of course he was-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

"Ergh! Frankie, boys! Destroy them both!"

"Oh no! I'm afraid not Thorney! For it will be I...who will be destroying you-DUCK RIDDLER."

"What, oh right."

"AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Gray unleashed a torment with the duel chain guns mounted below the wing, this was enough to drive the gangsters out.

"Quickly!"

"Through the doors!"

"Oh-I don;t think sooooooo!" Gray followed them out into the hallway.

"QUICKLY! EVERYONE INTO THE ELEVATOR'S NOW!" Thorne ordered his terrified employees.

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!"

"OH MY GOD!" the doors shut...the floor was empty. Gray emerged back into the office.

"Noah my boy, get comfortable, or should I say, get comfortable senior VP of Goblin Incorporated-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." There would be a commercial right about here...

Gray was sitting in Thorne's chair, while Riddler simply paced.

"Well it wasn't exactly how I planned it, but; no one ever said, business was easy-ha-ha!" Gray chuckled.

"_That fiend is sitting in my chair...MY CHAIR!" Thorne yelled watching this unfold from the camera room._

"_Boss if you like I can-"_

"_Oh just shut it Frankie!"_

"So Ferris? What happens now?"

"Glad you asked VP." Gray stood up. "Now, seeing as how I have business experience and Thorne, well-pfft! We need to make changes to his line of products, even though this is all just a mob front. I mean come on Scream-In-A-Box?" Gray asked holding one up

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

"That didn't help me at all like it says on the commercial!" Seth MacFarlane you genius!

"I agree."

"What we need to do my partner in business-crime, is reinvent this cooporation from the ground up, any ideas?"

"Ooh-ooh! Now that you mention it, we could start selling my various newly invented puzzles and games!"

"BOOM, love it! For the kids, people like that nowadays. Brilliant Riddler, they don't call you Senior VP for nothing. Okay-okay, this is good-this is good, now where do we branch off-?"

"How bout Arkham?"

"GASP! BATGIRL!"

"Say...25 years or so?" she asked flying in.

"Ugh, can't you cut me some slack, we ousted Thorne!"

"All we want is to start our own business, bank millions, and then retire comfortably at a Chateau in the French Riviera where I can work on my puzzles, riddles, and read a few hundred books; and where Ferris can watch the girls, and paint."

"I'm taking art classes!"

"Sorry, even though Thorne is a complete jackass-"

"_HEY!"_

"It's still his business."

"Sigh, alright Batzy if that's how it has to be-PSYCH!" Gray gassed her, which caused her to become whoosy. Suddenly Batgirl lost control of her flying, and fell out of the building to certain doom.

"Hmm...my-my-tsk-tsk-tsk, this hole in the wall isn't safe, not safe at all."

"I know we should get that fixed, if money's no object we can-"

"Eh..."

"I'll get estimates." Riddle agreed

"Right-right get estimates. And see, if I wasn't here; that would be you."

"True-true...so about business."

"Oh right-right."

Batgirl was falling fast. Until someone flying grabbed her.

"UNH! Gasp! Batman!"

"Hey, parties gotta end sometime. Now where's-"

"They're both in Thorne's office, they scared everyone out!"

"I see, well then I guess we'll just stage a hostile takeover of our very own."

"Riiiiiight, I getcha...oh wait, no I don't."

"Ugh..."

They flew to the open window.

"So if we can stock the shelves with your triangular Rubix cube by the next quarter, we'll be able to-Crap!"

"It's over Boyle!"

"Hey, I'm here too."

"Ugh, fine! It's over Nygma!"

"Thank you!"

"GRRRR! She should be street pizza!"

"Well I'm not." the duo jumped into the office.

"Well then, there's other ways to deal with you Crime...fighters-SH*T! The wing's out of gas!"

"Oh, too bad Gray, cause our Batarangs aren't." Batman smirked

"Uh...Meeting adjourned, see you tomorrow!" Gray made a break for the door.

"Right behind you!"

The two tossed a bat hook at the two of them, tying them both up before they could reach the door.

"You think we should give them to the police?" Batgirl asked

"No, let's let old Rupert do it...I have a feeling he's not going to be very happy when he sees them." Batman said as he heard sirens from down below. They left, then, some police, and Thorne entered

"Freeze!"

"POL-"

"You just missed them." Riddler snarled

"Oh...Mr. Thorne, do you want to press charges?"

"OF COURSE I DO! You dipstick! I want prosecution to the fullest extent of the law! I want them both to have nothing left when I'm through with them-"

"Ugh...Shut-up." Gray whispered annoyed.

**The End...**

**How...was...THAT! Well I thought it was nice, we got more Thorne up next, along with Two-Face, and the Exterminator! Hope you enjoy, and drop me a REVIEW!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Dan Petronijevic: **Nightwing

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Carter Hayden: **Riddler

**Paul Sorvino: **Rupert Thorne

**Mark Hamill: **The Gray Goblin

**Morgan Freeman: **Lucius Fox

**Scott Menville: **Frankie, Cop

**Dante Basco: **Shifty, various

**Billy West: **Henchman #1, various

**Tara Strong: **party goers

**David Kaufman: **Henchman #2, various

**S. Scott Bullock: **Henchman #3, various


	82. TwoBit Hit, Part I

**Villain(s): Rupert Thorne, The Exterminator, Two-Face**

**Episode Archive: ORIGINAL!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Eric Radomski**

**Teleplay By: Alan Burnett&Randy Rogel**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 40: Two-Bit Hit**

"Hmm...uh...ugh...-huh...what-what the?"

"Oh good, you're awake."

"Gasp! Who are you? Where am I?"

"Easy-easy...Please relax Miss Rhinehart...you're in good company."

Sara Rhinehart found herself in a the back of a truck, still in her Arkham prison uniform. Oh yeah, you don't know what she looks like under the mask. She has a slender body, well built, very slender, very sexy. Early 20's. Natural blonde hair with pinkish-red highlights throughout, going just passed her shoulders, and eyes as blue as the ocean-DAMN Geoff why'd you break up with this?

"Who are you, come into the light." she ordered. The guy walked into the path of the moonlight shining through one of the vents. "And you are?"

"The name's Thorne...Rupert Thorne."

"The Kingpin?"

"Ah, I see my reputation proceeds me, perhaps you've heard of my criminal empire that has been on the Gotham Cosa Nostra Commission for a consecutive 32 years. Or perhaps my corporation boasting fine products such as Scream-In-A-Box, Jeremy Irons generically boringly bland cold cereal, the African-American Heart Monitor, now in original, Bill Cosby, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Mr. T, and Kevin Michael Richardson."

"No offense Don Thorne...but those things sound lame." Sara said crossing her arms. "And besides, I found about you because it was all Nygma and Boyle were complaining about when they were brought back to the Asylum. Why did I even get sent there anyhow, I'm not crazy!"

"Riiiiiiiiiight. Anyway, I had my boys evict you from that horrid place, because I have a job for you."

"Oh-ho-ho, what kind of job?" Sara asked rubbing her hands together.

"That kind of job that exploits your unique talents."

"Oooh! You mean my ability to do underwater macrame?"

"...Please tell me you're joking..."

"Well I'm gonna assume you want me to kill someone, right? I'm in, but how much?"

"Ah, a mercenary to the very end, I like it. I'll give the money I promised that lying bastard Nygma if he killed Boyle, 5 million."

"Don Thorne, you have yourself an assassin."

"Excellent."

"Now tell me, whose my target?"

"The most gruesome, worthless, low-life in the city-"

"Batman."

"No! I tried that already, didn't work so well, but anyway he is the most despicable, miserable man-"

"Is it Boyle?"

"Stop interrupting me! No...he is the most controversial man I have ever met...the only person who could succeed in over throwing me while taking over my businesses...Oh no interruption? Good, the man you need to kill is, Alejandro Dent."

"Two-Face?"

"Precisely."

"Piece of cake, but uh...you may want to take me back to Arkham."

"Oh no...You see, old Al as part of the prisoner work exchange program, is shuffling papers in Mayor Hill's office. I want him gone...and, you know what, as a bonus, rub out Hill as well, that could make me look good for a political seat."

The truck suddenly stopped. Thorne handed Sara her costume and her equipment.

"I know it's late, but remember, stealth is key...but you probably knew that."

"Of course."

"Good, real good...real good. I'll be watching you from a close distance Miss Exterminator...Don't disappoint me." the truck rode away, leaving the Exterminator right in front of City Hall.

"This is gonna be all too easy."

Inside Mayor Hill's office, sat himself going over some Mayor stuff, while Alejandro shuffled some old files.

"You know Al, this prisoner exchange program was a great idea, I'm glad you decided to partake."

"Yeah-yeah, don't get used to it Hill. I just needed some fresh air, and to get away from that old place. By the way, here's your damn files." he plopped them on Hill's desk.

"Say thanks."

"So, can I go now?" Al asked

"Of course not, you're just getting started. Now I want you to organize this filing cabinet." Hill said opening the next cabinet.

"Errrrraaaaaagh!" Al angrily flipped his coin.

"Good luck, I'll be back to check on you in a little while." Hill said as he left

"Ergh! And it's TWO-FACE!"

Hill strolled to the lobby of city hall. There he found Trent along with Cody.

"Ugh, why do I have to go with you to see the mayor?" Cody asked

"Because your history teacher said you needed an extra credit assignment. You have to write a paper about an influential person in Gotham City, and who could be more influential then Mayor Hamilton Hill?" Trent asked

"What about you? Would make my life a helluva lot easier."

"Eh Ms. Steiner said no family-whether adopted or not."

"Damn."

"Oh-look sharp Cod-here he comes." the two stood up "Mayor Hill."

"Trent Wayne, always a pleasure my good man." they shook hands. "You know when you said you wanted young Cody here to write a school paper about me, well; that simply made my day."

"It did?"

"It did?" the pair asked confused

"Oh it did. Believe it or not, my son wouldn't even pick me to write a school paper, it's kind of sad, but; I can't afford to let that ruin my day. Come, we can find a conference room."

"Oh uh, I'll catch up, do you have a restroom."

"Sure thing Trent, it's right down the hall there."

"Thanks mayor."

Cody knew what that meant. Trent was going to start on his evening rounds without him...douche. Anyway Cody and the mayor sat in one of the empty conference rooms on his office floor.

"Alright...what's the real story?" Hill asked

"I-I don't follow?"

"What, come on; extra credit, research paper...annoying teacher?"

"Third one."

"Ah, you know I had one of those once...She told me the success to a good life is-"

"Oh boy." Cody slammed is head on the table.

Trent was in the bathroom suiting up in the Batman outfit, ready to take on whatever the night could throw at him.

"Okay, there's the belt, oh there's my cowl. Now...dark voice...perfect. I'll check up on Cody in an hour-huh?" Suddenly the light's faded. Batman could hear people muttering from outside the bathroom door, the power to City Hall was cut. "Or...perhaps I will stay here."

Back up in the conference room.

"What in the world?" Hill asked

"Power issues Mr. Mayor?" Cody asked breathing a sigh of relief.

"It looks that way. Don't fret, I'll go and check on the problem you just stay here and then we can get to work on that paper." Hill left the conference room.

"That sounds good for Cody...but not for Robin." Cody opened his backpack.

Meanwhile Alejandro also took note of the power outage.

"What the...[sniff-sniff]-Thorne...I'd recognize the stench of a cheap and hastily put together plot anywhere...Question is." he held up his coin. "Do I stay here, or do I go...?" he flipped. . . . "Heh-heh, go."

As luck would have it, The Exterminator noticed someone was roaming the halls through the ventilation ducts. It was Robin.

"So...if the Boy Blunder is already here, that can only mean the Bat isn't too far behind. Well, beggars can't be choosers." Robin stopped just underneath her duct. "Perfect.-[crash]-hi-[grab]-huh-WHOOOOAAA-[thud]-unh." Robin grabbed her in mid air, then tossed her to the nearest wall.

"So, The Exterminator...back for more huh?"

"Oh, don't be so modest Drake!" she snapped standing back up.

"Huh...what uh...w-w-w-whatever do you mean?" Robin asked nervously

"Oh come off it Bird Boy! If my Geoffy-poo is truly Nightwing, and if the Bat-Cave is underneath Wayne Manor...that can only mean, that you his other ward are Robin, and that Batman is really Trent Wayne! I knew the whole time, I only lied when I thought Geoff's story was true!"

"WHAT! Have you told anybody?" Robin asked

"How could I, I've been laid up with injuries at Arkham Asylum for the past month! This is the first day I've been out of my casts, I haven't told anyone!"

"Well then, you better enjoy it cause I'm about to put you in another cast! And-...Aha-ha-ha-ha! Geoffy-poo! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" the thought occurred to Robin. "Aw man that is too rich!"

"Hey! We were in love! And then he broke my heart to go out with that-that-that skank Bridgette Gordon! I'd a killed her if I wouldn't have had every policeman in the city on my case!"

"Well I can see why he did it, cause you're crazy!"

"I'M NOT CRAZY!"

"Yeah, really convincing..."

"Well let me say this, you think you can beat me? Ha!" she drew her Kentana. "I survived a two story fall, with 76 pieces of shattered glass wedged into my skin, and am in prime condition in only a month's time...so beat that."

"Uh...Geoff beat ya...by a day I think-"

"I DON'T CARE! Let's end this Robin!" She fought Robin with her sward, every attack she dodged, every defense perfectly timed, Robin seemed like he was outmatched.

"Whoa...pant-pant-pant...just need...one spritz...of, Forget-Me-Bat!"

"Ha! Good luck, come near me with that thing and I'll slice your head off!"

"Why are you here anyway?"

"Thorne sent me...wants me to off Dent whose here on some sort of prisoner work program thingy."

"Figures." Robin rolled his eyes.

Down the hall, a concerned employee looks out from the door into the hallway. He turns his head back inside to call the police in the midst of their clamoring.

"Oh man oh man, this is not good-not good!"

Commissioner Gordon picks up the phone (because we haven't seen him since...yeah, since Lock-Up.)

"This is Gordon, what seems to be the problem."

"_Commissioner! You have to get to City Hall right away there's a-[crash-slice-dial tone]"_

"Hello...HELLO!" He hung up. Chris sprinted out of his office. "Well there goes my evening-Listen Up! I need a SWAT unit to City Hall right NOW! Let's move!"

Robin looked in horror. Exterminator had thrown her sward like a javelin into the wall, totally shishkabobing the guy's head...the strange thing is...he was whispering.

"Don'tcha just hate eaves droppers?" she asked like it was no big deal.

"You're insane!" Robin sneered

"Call me what you want...but I will call you, a bonus." she took out a pistol. And aimed it at him. "Once I take you out, I'll off Dent, then Two-Face, I can feel the cash flowing into my hands." Ah that is such a Gray Goblin thing to say. "Goodbye Cody Drake...I'd like to say it was nice knowing you, but-[klink]-what in the!" a Batarang came out and knocked the gun right from her hand...and it wasn't Batman...

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	83. TwoBit Hit, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Batman rounded a corner somewhere else in City Hall, suddenly a bullet whizzes past his head. [bang]

"Whoa! Close one." suddenly a net attaches itself to the crime fighter, Batman fell to his knees

"Wow, Joker was right Bats...you are getting slow on the rebounds." Two-Face chuckled coming out from the darkness.

"Two-Face." he said dryly. "This little power outage is your doing I assume?"

"No...Not sure who it is really that's what I want to find out, but you I'll be back for. I'm not sure who turned off the power Bats, but I can assure you, it ain't the tooth fairy." Two-Face snickered his way down the hallway. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-aha-ha-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-aha-aha!" his laughed began to deteriorate.

"Great, just what I need." Batman struggled, "If only there was some way I could reach my knife in my belt...to get...out of...this damn net."

Robin and Exterminator looked at in shock at whom came from the darkness, holding yet another batarang.

"You?" Exterminator asked in disbelief

"Yes...so you're the great Exterminator that's been terrorizing my fair city, Ruining the roof to the diamond exchange, nearly destroying half of Trent Wayne's house. You're a very busy girl Rhinehart." Mayor Hill said disappointed "Quite frankly though, I was expecting a challenge."

"Quick question, where did you get that Batarang?" Robin asked

"I make it my business to procure the leftovers from your various skirmishes with the cities worst."

"Nice."

"Ha! Alright, wasn't expecting that, but I'm still gonna get my target, I always do!"

"Uh...what about the last t-"

"SHUT-UP ROBIN!"

"...Craaaaaazy."

"I agree, Sara, make this easy on yourself, just stop...we can help you-[bang]" she fired a shot just above Hill's head

"...I don't want your help."

"If I may ask, who is your target?"

"Alejandro Dent."

"Two-Face...this could only mean one guy would want him dead-"

. . .

"Hey boss, the girl hasn't given us any word on the hit yet. Should we get in the chopper and go get her?" Frankie asked his boss.

"Sure. I may not have Dent pushing daisies today, but with an assassin like Rhinehart, it shouldn't be too hard to make the dream a reality one day. Come, we'll take the good helicopter-Frankie, you're driving."

"Yes!"

"Who knows. Maybe we might even get to find our little friend Two-Face in our cross-hairs before the evenings out. Let's go."

Back to Exterminator and the other two.

"Fine! You may have stopped me now! But that doesn't mean I won't be back! For Two-Face! And for anyone else!"

"...See, this is why Arkham Asylum is such a great institution." Hill said to Robin

"I agree."

"Well I can tell you both one thing, you're not taking me back to Arkham!" she raised a smoke pellet. "Adios Boys-[koooosh]"

"Cough-cough-cough!"

"Crap-cough-cough-smoke-cough-cough!"

And just like that, she was-

"Gone!"

"Think Robin, where would an assassin want to disappear to is they wanted to escape quickly."

"Uh-"

"Remember, time is of the esse-"

"The roof."

"Essence-the roof? Alright then, to the roof."

Meanwhile back to Batman who was struggling about the office on that floor. to find something to get him out of the Two-Face's net

"Come on-[thud]-dammit! There's...got-to, be something I could use...dammit!" First there was the letter opener-

"Dammit!"

Then the hole punch

"Dammit!"

Then the-oh what else is in a typical off-a pen.

"Well that was worthless."

Then the stapler.

"Ergh! That didn't help at all, it made it worse!"

Suddenly a few guys were running through the corridor of the office to get to the nearest stairwell to get the hell out of there.

"Quickly guys, the stairway is just up ahead!"

"Thank God! I heard this place is under attack by some rogue assassin!"

"Yeah she sliced poor Barnett's head off!"

"I heard shes after Dent!"

"Yeah well I he-whoa-[thud]"

"What the heck?"

"Watch yourself Jim you just tripped into-gasp! Batman!"

"Yeah, hi. Any you guys gotta knife on you?" he asked

"Sure, right here." one of the guys got out a Swiss Army knife.

"Ah, Victorianox, fine company." he was free. "Thanks."

"No problem Batman."

"Hey before you go, you mentioned something about an assassin trying to find Two-Face?"

"Yeah man, shes crazy, your boy Robin and Mayor Hill were trying to ward her off."

"Yeah and she was totally insane, she shishkabobed one of our co-workers while he was making a phone call to the police behind some drywall!"

"...Hmm, this can be none other than the Exterminator, and I bet old Rupert Thorne is in on it. Anyway, thanks again guy-huh?" he saw they had already vanished down the stairwell. "You know, seeing someone else do it I see now that it is kind of rude. Oh well."

The Exterminator made it to the roof, which was an outer balcony feet below the ceiling of city hall. And of course...it started to rain.

"Great, rain just what I need-[bang]" a bullet whizzed passed her head...enter-

"DENT!"

"THAT'S TWO-FACE!"

"Whatever! Dead is dead-[bang]-oh crud." she drew a pistol which Two-Face shot out of her hand.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha, you know what they say, second times the charm-and don't you dare correct me!"

"Wasn't planning on it! However, you have so got to die!" she grabbed her other Katana! THERE IT'S SPELLED RIGHT YEESH!

"Hmm-hmm-hmm, you think that lousy piece of forged steel can defeat-[slice]-me?" in one slice, the gun was cut in half...take that Mythbusters! "Gulp, I'm impressed."

"You're stalling..."

"That maybe, but you forget, I-crap." Two-Face saw the helicopter approach their position.

"Hey boss, I got sight of Dent!"

"What, really? Well-well, good eye Frankie." Rupert ducked his head out the side door. "How ya doing Two-Face! I see you've met my new girl Sara Rhinehart, the Exterminator!"

"Thorne! I should have figured your greasy hands would be involved in this somehow." he gave his coin a flip

"And the coin says you lose." he drew a second gun, firing at the roto-head

"Crap! Frankie! He's hitting the helo!"

"I'm trying, I'm trying, he hit the engine, were going dow-[CRASH]" The chopper crash landed right on the roof. Rupert suddenly found himself and Frankie thrown from the wreckage, and there stood Two-Face right above them

"Well-well, two birds...one stone." he aimed the gun at Thorne

"Gasp."

"Say hi to Maroni for me...oh and Patrick Swazye, if he's still in purgatory that is, not like your seeing him where you're going-heh-heh-heh-[fwip]" Batman wrapped him in a bat hook rope, pulling him away. Thorne simply blacked out.

"Dammit Bats! I had him right where I want him!" Two-Face yelled getting free.

"Sorry Al, I can't let you kill him."

"It's always the same with you isn't it! Well too bad! I'm whacking that fool, and his little assassin too."

"Not likely."

"Fine, let's settle this." Two-Face got in a fighting stance.

"With pleasure!"

Meanwhile on the other side of the wreck, Exterminator picked herself up.

"Ugh...damn, a 9mm did all that? It's official I need better firepower." she held up one of her guns, where one of Hill's Batarang's knockedi t away.

"WHAT!"

"Hey Sara!"

"Huh?"

"Here's ROBIN!" he swung in on a Bat hook, grabbing her, they flew over the side and tumbled.

"Robin...ROBIN!" Hill yelled. "Ooh, this would be a good story to tell Cody-BUT ROBIN!"

Robin used his apre to latch onto the side of the building, where he swung them to a nearby long ledge, he hit the wall a little too hard, and they both hit the ledge in pain.

"No, I got to get to Batman!" Hill ran for the wrecked helicopter, where Batman knocked Two-Face in the chops, subduing him. Batman put the bat-cuffs on him.

"Well that's one way to do it."

"Batman!"

"Mayor Hill! Thank God you're okay."

"Yeah but Robin might not be-"

"WHAT!

"He and the Exterminator on one of the ledges below, I'm not sure if they're-"

"FREEZE!"

"POLICE!" Chris and his SWAT team moved in they quickly noticed the situation

"Oh come on! We missed everything!" the Commish' groaned in annoyance.

"I'm afraid so Commissioner." Hill said

"Wait, mayor; what about Robin?" Batman asked

"Well unless you get a ladder of helo, you're not gonna get to them."

"Yes! Action! Let's go people!" he hurried them out.

Meanwhile back on the ledge, Robin found himself waking up, as he did, he saw the blood soacked face of Exterminator right above him.

"Huh-WHOA!"

"Ha-ha, that woke you up didn't it? You know Drake, I don't get you? Why do you do the things you do? People like you and Trent Wayne? And Geoff...WHY! Just answer me that!"

"Because you psycho, it's the right thing to do." Robin snarled. She got closer

"Right...the right thing to do." she got within inches apart

"Uh...what are you doing?"

"Maybe it's the blow to the head Robin...maybe I realize I hate doing the right thing...but, you...you know, you are really dangerous, so much better then the papers portray you."

"Uh-huh..." she unmasked herself

"Wow, that's what you look like? You're beautiful."

"Thanks...Maybe I still have a thing for you crime fighters...because I hate what you do so much...A Two-Bit Hit's what it is...now let's end this, the right way.

"What in the-mhmnmhmnm-"...Yeah...BUDDY! their lips collided, after several minutes, they released. "Wow..."

"Catwoman and Heather have Batman...Batgirl and Nightwing have each other...why can't you, have me?"

"Uh-sure."

"And don't worry Cody, your secret's safe with me, now; take me back to the world of lunatics where I belong, and we'll do this again sometime, k?"

"...I'm sorry am I dreaming-"

"NOBODY MOVE! THIS IS THE POLICE!"

"Chris yelling, and shining a helicopter spotlight...nope, not a dream. Wish I could write about this in my paper."

**THE END!**

**Okay...how...was...THAT! I knew that ending would surprise all of you! Well get ready for some more guys, we got Joker up next, so PLEASE REVIEW as season 4 winds down, stay tuned!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Robin

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Mae Whitman: **The Exterminator

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill

**Marco Grazzini: **Two-Face

**Paul Sorvino: **Rupert Thorne

**Scott Menville: **Frankie, co-worker

**Clancy Brown: **phone caller

**Stephen Root: **co-worker

**Tress MacNeille: **co-worker

**Dee Bradley Baker: **additional voices


	84. Joker's Millions, Part I

**Villain(s): Joker, Harley Quinn Featuring: Penguin, Poison Ivy**

**Episode Rewrite: Joker's Millions (1998)  
**

**Written By: Paul Dini**

**Directed By: Dan Riba**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 41: Joker's Millions**

Our episode begins at the Gotham City Convention Center. Where twas the annual Electronics Expo. THE place for all the resident tech geeks and those looking for some quick cash...This would of course include Joker, who as you recall is fairly broke from previous fishy escapades.

"Ahhhhhh!"

"It's the Joker!"

"He's gotta gun!"

"Run for your lives!"

[bang-bang-bang-bang]

Batman dodged all of Joker's gun blasts. So the Clown Prince was forced to take cover behind a giant ass CD. Upon turning from cover he noticed-

"Huh? Where did..." he go? "Hmm." Joker walked to the side of the CD where Batman punched him through the middle, Joker fired continuously, destroying the CD. Joker took off running towards Harley Quinn, stuffing their loot bag with microchips. Joker suddenly ran out of bullets, he ejected the old clip.

"Quick! More bullets!" he ordered Harley

"Sorry Puddin' that was the last clip, you know how expensive they are!" Which is sad because typical 9mm rounds go for pennies. Anyway, Batgirl swooped in and kicked Harley to the ground, dropping the chips with her

"Ugh!"

"Ha! Sounds like someone turned off your cash flow." Robin's dating a villain-cough-cough.

"Well, if it's a flow you want, I'm happy to oblige." Joker tried his gas spraying lapel...only for it to be out of juice, enter Batman giving Joker several licks to the chops...Yes he punched him! Jeez, where are your heads? Don't answer that.

"Ah! My eye!" he cried, a fake eye popped down, it was a small bomb

"Lookout!" Batman threw Batgirl and himself out of the way as it exploded.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Sucker!" Joker and Harley sprinted from the convention center, just as Batgirl and Batman got up from the wreckage.

Joker sat in the passenger seat crossing his arms at their disappointment.

"Well that was a complete fiasco! If we weren't so strapped for cash I'd never have touched this damn job! Gimme the loot." he ordered Harley.

"Uh...d-don't you have it?"

"ME! You idiot! You were the last to..." the car screeched to a halt. "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GET GAS!" Joker snapped

"Were broke remember! What was I supposed to do? Fill the tank? Shoot the guy and drive off?" Harley fumed. Joker smiled and nodded "NOW YA TELL ME!" suddenly the two heard the Batmobile get close.

"Whoops, time to eject!" he threw the ejector lever, and his seat flew away with him, where Harley frantically looked around for hers

"HEY WHERE'S MINE!"

"SORRY KIDDO! I CAN ONLY AFFORD ONE!"

"You cheap penny pinching creep! I'll getcha for this you lousy tight wad!" don't worry you will. Batman then grabbed her "ERGH!"

Coincidentally Joker landed but a block away from his current lair...A room in the Chelsea Arms Apartments. He walked into the dilapidated lobby, where he was greeted by the unfriendly desk clerk.

"A letter came for you today Mr-Uh...Ker. By the way, your three weeks late with your rent!"

"...Sue me." Joker said dryly, he grabbed the letter.

Joker walked into his crappy apartment. Where he was greeted by his hyaenas Bud and Lou.

"Alas...the bitter jest of fate, the once mighty Joker but without two nickels to rub together." he sighed, and grabbed a beer from the fridge, then plopped his feet on the coffee table. "Yeah-yeah, you're hungry-I'm hungry-Do me a favor and eat each other will you!" he snapped at his pets. Taking a swig of his Heineken he read the letter.

"Dear sir we regret to inform you of the passing of Mr. Edward aka King Barlow-woo-hoo that's good news I hated him-oh in accordance of his last wishes has bequeathed to you the total...250 million dollars! WOO-HOO-WOOOOOO!" Joker jumped for joy "Good old King Barlow! I take back almost all the nasty things I ever said about him! Bud, Lou, our ship has come in boys, were gonna spend-spend-SPEND! And I know just what were gonna buy first..."

"_If a man's filled with glee! That man must go free!" was a statement from one joker's attorneys._

"_That was the scene today from outside the city courtroom where after weeks of litigation, the Joker's record has been wiped clean, by his former gangland rival the late king Barlow." Jack Ryder said from his news desk. "As followers of this story may know the former villain has just been wielded a fortune in cash jewels and gold. An old bodyguard of Barlow's offered us this comment."_

"_It doesn't make sense. King hated the Joker yet he left him everything, I was King's bodyguard for 10 years and he left me ZIP!" back to Ryder_

"_Armed with his new found wealth the joker put together a pricey defense team to polish his less then sterling reputation. We go live to one of Joker's head attorney Isaac Levinstein."_

"_The Joker isn't just some animal to be locked in a cage he is a thinking feeling human being." here's a clip of him doing an improvised ink blot test using the Batman, Nightwing and Robin symbols. "I subjected him to a thorough psychological evaluation and I can safely say he is a criminal no more." _

"_Mr. Levinstein, how do you respond to charges that the Joker simply bribed his way to freedom?"_

"_I'm not even going to dignify that with a response." says the guy in the new sports car, and super model driving away._

"_And there you have it, at this hour the Joker is not only a free man, but a wealthy one, I'm Jack Ryder." _

Batgirl and Batman watched the news broadcast in the bat-cave later on.

"There's justice for you. Well, now that he's rich, maybe he'll give up crime?" He he'll try, but that statement alone made Batman tear a Bat-tracking device in half.

"Gr-AHHH!"

"Right, so I'll just go get Geoff then."

Later Geoff and Bridgette stood outside the Iceberg Lounge waiting to get in.

"You sure he's inside?" Nightwing asked

"Yeah, Penguin's throwing him a "Going Legit" party."

"Well, you said party, that's all me and my recently healed bones need to hear."

"Not THAT kind of part Geoff." Penguin walked out

"Sorry but were full up tonight, shoo-shoo go on." This gave Bridgette an idea.

"Gee, you'd never think the Penguin would turn away the police commissioner's daughter!"

"Egad, Gordon's brat." Penguin whispered "My dear Miss Gordon, my most humblest of apologies, come in have fun, and by all means, send the bill to me."

"Thanks Mr. Cobblepot."

"Lousy little freeloader." he whispered

The two got a table on the second floor, right above Joker, who was at his own table with a giant cake.

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Penguin!"

"So, what's the scheme this time Joker?" he asked

"No scheme at all old bird! I'm free! I'm rich! And I'm lovin' it!" Bada-ba-ba-ba! "I bet old Batboy's eating his heart out-HA-HA!"

"Living well is the best revenge." Penguin agreed pouring several glasses of champagne.

Inside the Kitchen though sh*t was going down. The bodyguard, and several ex-Barlow mobsters had tied up the kitchen staff, with guns ready.

"Everybody set? Okay let's do this."

the doors flung open and bullets went flying

"AHHHHH!"

"Oh my God!"

"SO MANY PEOPLE WITH GUNS IN THIS DAMN CITY!"

"Everybody down now!" the guard ordered "Not you clown! I should have been the one to get Barlow's money. At least I know you'll never enjoy it." ...Commercial... "I hope you've made up your will Joker." suddenly one of Nightwing's Batarang's hit him in the back of the shoulder. "Gah!" he and Batgirl flew in. Batgirl kicked one right into the seal pond in the middle of the restaurant.

"What-OH MY GOD!"

The other Nightwing forced him to shoot above, he got away, just as a chandelier dropped on top of him.

"Ha-missed-oh jeez, gah-[smash]" the last guy Joker slammed the champagne pot on his head

"Unh...[clong]-Gah! Ha-ha, well done kiddies." Joker complimented. He watched Batgirl and Nightwing pull the one guy out of the pond.

"We were trying to save innocent lives, you're just an unpleasant bonus." Nightwing groused.

"Nevertheless, your grateful uncle Joker wants to thank you, here; stick these in your piggy banks." they immediately crumbled the 100 dollar bill given to each of them and walked away "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Let the good times roll! Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Boy did Joker change. Before long he bought a new house right next door to Mayor Hill. And a membership to Gotham Oaks, much to Trent Wayne's dismay as he frequents that club...and let's face it, Joker blows at golf. There would be some days he would drive down a street and literally throw his money into the crowds of people following him. His life seemed perfect...or was it?

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!  
**


	85. Joker's Millions, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Since news in Gotham is sorta hit and miss (and this was definitely a miss day) Lindsey was in the rec room in Arkham watching Joker throw his money away on TV. Izzy sat next to her reading the Gotham Times.

"Sigh..." she swooned

"Your pathetic you know that?" Izzy said looking from above her paper.

"Aw come on Red, so Mistah J got a little stressed over money. Now that he's loaded, Puddin' will buy my way out too." Lindsey said confidently.

"Oh, yeah, right, sure thing Harl." Izzy sighed, she showed Lindsey the front page article...again slow news day.

"Joker Seeks New Henchgirl?" Congratulations Linds! You can read at a second grade level! "But, but he said, I was..." her face became red...redder then Izzy's hair...all ginger jokes aside "I'LL KILL HIM!" Don't worry you will.

Back at Joker Manor, the Clown Prince was in his office along with his personal go-to-guy/yes-man/bitch Ernie, they were looking for all the people trying out to fill the very difficult role of Harley Quinn.

"Hey boss, why didn't you buy Harley a ticket out of the bin too?"

"Now-now Ernie, mustn't be too extravagant." You? Extravagant -perish the thought "Besides, it's cheaper to hire a new one." Joker started down the row. "Too fat...too small...YUCK! Too old-Cripes Woman it's called plastic freakin surgery! Here-here, here's 10 grand, now beat it!"

"WAAAAAAH!" she ran away

"Now where was I...oh yeah." he continued down the row until he came to a large glasses wearing guy in a Harley outfit "...No."

"Darn!" It's alright Paul

Joker finally came to one he liked

"Whoa! Hello! Drown the kids, and shoot the neighbors! We have a winner!"

"Yaaaaaaaay! Oh thanks Mistah G I promise I'll be the best Harley ever!"

"Ergh-well you certainly got her voice down, Ernie, take new Harley here, and show her the ropes."

"You got it boss."

"Hey, this job has a 401k plan right?" New Harley asked

"Sure."

"Uh, excuse me Mr. Napier-" a well dressed man entered

"Sorry, the henchgirl roll has been filled, quite nicely too." Joker smirked approaching his desk

"Oh-ho-ho, no I'm not looking for a job, my name is Perry, and I'm with the Internal Revenue Service."

"Oh yes, seems I've heard of that little organization."

"Then sir you must realize as Mr. Barlow's sole beneficiary, you owe us a tiny bit of inheritance tax." Perry explained

"Alright."

"Now, 250 million minus Uncle Sam's current federal percentage." Perry said punching numbers into a calculator. "This should clear up your account." he slid the calc over to Joker.

"Okay let's see the dama-AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" yup, he saw it.

Later in the vault room, Joker, two of his henchmen, Ernie, and New Harley were frantically throwing money into bags

"137 million?" Ernie asked in disbelief

"Yes! And if I don't pay it I'll go to jail for tax evasion!" Hey Al Capone did. "Look Ernie I'm crazy enough to take on Batman, Gordon and the entire Gotham police force, even that demon freak Ra's Al-Whatever! But the IRS-Nooooooo thank you!" he tossed a bag of money into Ernie's face.

"Ahh!"

"H-hey Mistah G, this money looks kinda weird." she said

"What do you mean, it's just a plain old pack of hundreds." Joker took the stack "See there's Ben Frnaklin's chubby little-WHAT! King Barlow!" Joker saw his rival's face on the bill. Quickly he started to check all the other stacks "He's on this stack! And this one!"

"He's on every one of these 1000's." New Harley said

"He's on this one too boss!"

"He's even on some of this gold!"

"And his face is implanted on these jewels."

"This one too!"

"Hey boss, this one's clean!"

"Shut-up!" Everyone yelled

"Ergh! I don't understand!"

"Hey boss...I found this." Ernie held up a DVD under a stack of cash

They played the DVD. It was a broadcast of King Barlow in a hospital bed, attached to an IV, and oxygen machine. He has seen better days.

"Hey look, he's using one of Thorne's heart monitors."

"SHUT-UP ERNIE!"

"_Hiya Joker, if your getting this message then you probably realize by now you've been had! Yeah I left ya some cash but only around 50-60 mill, which knowing you, you've already blown. All the other stuff, the cash jewels, and gold, are all fake!" Joker grinded his teeth in annoyance "See, I always hated your guts and this was the perfect payback! By now you're probably out of real money! The IRS is after ya, and you can't admit I fooled ya, or you'll be the laughing stock of the underworld! The Joke's on you sucker, I got the last laugh after all! Ha-ha-ha-ha-cough-cough-[bang-crash]" Joker shot the TV with his gun, and walked away. _

Joker sat in his big throne chair, completely skeptical on what to do next.

"Oh...If I don't pay my taxes I go to jail, but if I tell them Barlow duped me I'll look like a fool."

"Well maybe you can pull one of your classic routines, like you did with those laughing fish." Ernie suggested

"Good idea Ernie...Let's let Batman know I did so he can-KICK MY ASS RIGHT BACK INTO ARKHAM!" Joker fumed, he pushed Ernie out of the way

"Nyah!"

"Ergh, idiot!" he turned his attention to New Harley "New Harley, what do you recommend."

"Well, if I had to make a suggestion, I'd say send a decoy somewhere, you throw establish an alibi see, then we go to like the mint of something and rob em blind, you'll have your money and the cops'll never know." yes I'm painfully aware this wasn't in the episode, IT'S MY STORY!

"That's...that's good." Ernie nodded

"Good-Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! That's not good Ernie that's fantastic! YES! Who'd ever think I'd miss the old one."

Speaking of Lindsey, she was in the process of escaping.

"Harley Quinn's escaped!" One guard said to another, they stopped right by Izzy's cell.

"Maybe she went down the laundry chute?"

"You kidding Stan? None of the Ya-hoo's are crazy enough to pull that old stunt!"

"HA!" Izzy chuckled sarcastically.

And that is exactly what Lindsey did...except she found herself in a washing machine...in the rinse cycle.

"HELP IVY SOMEBODY! GET ME OUTTA HERE!" Idiot!

Anyway, Trent Wayne entered the Iceberg Lounge and was greeted by Penguin.

"My dear Mr. Wayne, I'm always delighted to have you at my humble nest."

"I'd thought I'd take in the atmosphere, and, it's karaoke night." he said holding up his guitar, he then turned his attention to Joker...at least, it looked like him.

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha! What? Trent Wayne, get over here! A bottle of your best my dear, for my friend." he said to one of the waitresses

"Coming up sir."

"You understand if I refuse, the last time we met, you-uh, threw me and Lois Lane off a building." Yeah this episode happened after the World's Finest three parter, it was a crossover with Superman-NO I WILL NOT put it in this series, please don't even ask.

"I did...well, that was so long ago."

"It was last month."

Joker started to sweat as Trent starred him down. He wiped his forehead, taking some makeup off.

"Well, better be going." he said. . . .

Ernie took off the Joker costume in the restroom.

"Ugh, this is starting to get to me." he said

"Should've worn more makeup Ernie-"

"GASP!" Batman stood on top of the stall. "Why the disguise Ernie? WHERE IS HE?" outside Penguin heard the commotion

"He can't threaten my guests!"

"Here lemme jog your memory-[flusssssssh]"

"Noooooo-ghghgighghgh"

"...Or...m-m-m-maybe he can." Penguin and his waitresses walked away.

Anyway Several armored trucks left the Gotham mint, and headed for the docks, where a transport barge would bring them to their destination

"Alright, Gotham mint, we got a routine cash shipment to the Stock Exchange on Wall Street."

"_Good, your police escort is ready, you are clear to board."_

"Thank you sir."

All the trucks entered the ship, and it headed off the 20 minute trip to the Battery Park Docks. All the guards left the trucks, only to be greeted by Joker and his goons.

"Huh?"

"What the-" [koosh] they unleashed a torrent of knockout gas on them.

"No laughing gas, no grins. There's no way Bat-Boy can point this back to me. Alright, let's see what we got boys-wha-whoa!" The boat rocked. New Harley was driving "Hey, keep the boat in the water!" Joker yelled

"This was definitely NOT in the job description!" New Harley shook her head. Anyway Joker took out a bag from one of the cars. "Ah, it's been so long since I've seen the real thing, hello Ben, George, Abe!" suddenly the Bat-Wing appeared above, the wind sent the money from the truck over the side. "NOOO!" Batgirl jumped from the wing, and knocked down two of the henchmen. Batman taking the other, leaving the wing above in idle. The other guy on the upper deck was the derailed by Nightwing flying in.

"Thunk!" his gun dropped to the deck, and discharged, sending a bullet into the bridge, just missing New Harley

"AHH!"

Back down, the constant wind blew more of the money away. Joker did his best to pick it all up

"NO! My fortune!" And Tom Gillies's fortune, and David Croft's fortune, and Aaron smith's fortune. Anyway he jumped on the stern, watching the money get torn to shreds by the motor., Batgirl bat hooked his legs together.

"Joker, don't be stupid, you can't save that money!"

"I don't want to save it you fool! I want to go with it." he sobbed. He dove, then Batgirl pulled him in, and he took one on the chin. Batman approached him with a quarter.

"You better call your fancy lawyers...here-[plink]-it's on me." He means a payphone right?

The ship docked, and all the henchmen wer eplaced in separate police wagons

"Honest, they told me it was an equity gig!" New Harley complained. Joker was placed in his wagon, with a cop in the back.

"Alright, get him out of here." a cop said.

As they drove away Joker made small talk with the "cop"

"After all it's only money-ha-ha, so I'll let the tax payers flip my bill again." JERK! "Besides, it'll be nice to see the old gang again."

"One of em's dying to see you too puddin."

"Harley?"

"The one and only." Lindsey took out the nightstick .

"You...you don't know how happy I am to see you."

"Welcome to the club."

"Aw jeez...Now look-baby I can-[ow]-explain-[oww]-I-[owwwwww!]"

**The End**

**K guys, that was a real good one, got some Girls of Gotham up next, and then the freakin' sweet season...4...finale! With Lock-Up, Tuck, and Robin's new main squeeze? Will that last? I don't know. And then we kick off Season 5, with literally a BANG! So PLEASE REVIEW guys, and get ready for more!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**Dan Petronijevic: **Nightwing

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Drew Nelson: **Joker

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Harley Quinn

**Scott McCord: **Penguin

**Rob Paulsen: **Ernie, additional voices

**Jeff Bennett: **Jack Ryder, Barlow's Bodyguard

**Kevin Michael Richardson: **Perry, additional voices

**Arleen Sorkin: **New Harley

**Gary Cole: **Joker's attorney

**Nolan North: **King Barlow

**Jess Harnell: **Arkham Guard #1

**Hynden Walch: **Receptionist, additional voices

**Katie Crown: **Poison Ivy

**Frank Welker: **Bud and Lou, gangster

**Tom Kenny: **gangster, henchman

**Maurice LaMarche: **gangster, Arkham guard #2

**Robert Costanzo: **gangster, additional voices

**Paul Dini: **Harley candidate


	86. Girl's Nite Out, Part I

**Villain(s): Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Red Claw, Catwoman, Heather Al Ghul**

**Episode Archives: Girls Night Out (1998), Almost Got 'im (1992)**

**Written By: Hilary J. Bader, Paul Dini**

**Directed By: Curt Geda, Eric Radomski**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 42: Girls Nite Out**

Harley sat at a poker table at the Stacked Deck, shuffling some cards around. She was joined by Poison Ivy, Red Claw, and Catwoman.

"K ladies, I wanna a food, clean, game of...what are we playing again?"

"Texas Hold em Harl...and, I feel as though I've seen this before." Ivy added

"Ah just shut up and play Izzy."

"Well, someone's an irritable little kitten today."

"That goes double for you Eva!"

"Ladies-ladies, why should we fight about what game were playing, or; whose crazier then who, when we should be hating on-" Harley stated

"Batman."

"Batman."

"Freakin' Batman."

"Exactly." she dealt the cards.

"Oh wait, now I remember!" Eva jumped up. "I remember who Batman is!"

"What?"

"Huh?"

"Seriously Claw, I think all that uranium is started to screw with your brain, or lack there of." Catwoman added

"No-no really, I saw him once, I swear!"

"Yeah right." came a familiar voice of someone in a black jacket and a brown hat.

"Heather Al Ghul, it's been awhile come, join our game." Ivy offered "Okay now I know I've seen this before."

"Thanks for the offer, I think I will." she sat down, and took off her hat, Harley dealt her in.

"So, what brings you back to Gotham?" Catwoman asked as if to say 'what the f*ck are you doing back here.'

"Just missed my beloved, plus Daddy is going insane looking for a new companion for some, big crazy take-over-the-world thing, the usual." Heather explained

"Right, sounds more like a job for Kim Possible, not Batman." Red Claw added

"Yeah, but I'd like to see Kim Possible throw a Batarang from 65 yards and knock over an ammo dump." Heather chuckled. "Full House."

"Dammit."

"Sh*t."

"Aw nuts."

"Alright, Gwen you're deal." Harley handed her the cards.

"Okay."

"So Eva, you mentioned something about knowing who Batman was?" Heather asked

"Oh yeah, in my last big scheme, to make a long story short, I stowed away in his little wing thing, and when the time was right, I pounced, and tore off his cowl."

"And?" the girls asked

"And...Batman, without a doubt...is...Commissioner Chris Gordon!"

The girls gave her a confused look

"What?"

"Eva, that's not true!" Catwoman snapped

"Yeah I've seen them both right next to each other, not possible." Heather said, cause SHE knew.

"Alright, well I have another theory."

"And?" the girls retorted

"Neil Patrick Harris!"

"Ugggggh!" came the collective groans.

"Yeah, okay."

"You suck!"

"I'd sooner believe Gordon!" Harley shook her head

"Whatever...but you know who is really a big thorn to the side?" Red Claw asked

"Rupert Thorne?" Harley asked

"Good one-no you idiot! I'm talking about Batgirl."

"Yeah, what a goody-freakin-two-shoes!" Ivy agreed

"And what is with her always wearing her hair in a ponytail, what is this 1993?" Harley asked

"You know girls, maybe it was the long flight over here playing tricks on me...or maybe it's the idea that we should do something devious to rid ourselves of that accused Batgirl." Heather chuckled evilly.

"Hmm, devious." Catwoman agreed

"I like the way you think son of a demon." Red Claw nodded

"So, what did you have in mind dollface?" Ivy asked

"I was thinking a trip to the Lazarus Pits, we dump her in, and in her healthy condition, it's bye-bye Batgirl." Ah it's good to have the old Heather back

"Okay, and the nearest one is where exactly?" Red Claw asked

"There's one upstate near Lake George, One in the Kentucky Appalachians, and one in Butte Montana as far as close proximity goes." Heather explained

"Yeah, Hannah that sounds like too much work, and...not enough fun...it just sounds gross." Harley grimaced.

"Well fine, does anyone else have an idea?" Heather asked

"Ooh-ooh-ooh!" Harley raised her hand

"...Anyone else?"

"Ooh-ooh-Heather-Heather!"

"Anyone? Gwen? Eva...Izzy even?"

"Uh, I think Harl has an idea." Izzy said

"Ooh-thanks Red!"

"What Harley?" Red Claw asked

"No Claw, not you, I mean Red...Ivy-"

"Alright! Enough!" Heather stood up "K Harley, what's your big idea?" Heather asked rolling her eyes.

"Alright...I was thinking something fun, along the lines of, an evil slumber party." she smirked

"A slumber party?" Heather asked in disbelief

"No. That's dumb. I meant an EVIL slumber party-"

"I get that part you ditz! What's so damn evil about it?" Heather asked

"Easy, we tie her up, force her to play some evil truth or dare, watch some terrible chick flicks, and other stuff, then we snuff her." Harley explained

"Okay." Ivy agreed

"Not bad." Catwoman smiled

"Okay I guess. Heather?"

"That plan...might just be...the DUMBEST idea on the face of the planet!" Heather groused

"Alright, Demon Girl, what's your genius idea?" Ivy asked

"Uh, Lazarus Pits, slow painful, but easy."

"Alright then, as far as I'm concerned this country is a democracy so it's our job to exploit it." Red Claw said "All in favor of the annoying long trip to the Lazarus Pits." only Heather raised her hand "And all in favor of the evil slumber party." everyone else raised theirs

"F*CK YOU ALL!"

"Then it's settled, let's go ladies, oh yeah by the way, Royal Flush girls!" Harley smiled

"Dammit!"

"Crap!"

"Alright let's go." they got up to leave.

"Not so fast ladies." the owner stepped out. "Quinn, you haven't paid your tabs in months!"

"Tell me something I don't know."

"And you four didn't pay for your drinks either!"

"So, what are you gonna do about it?" Red Claw asked

"Oh you don't wanna know-"

. . .

Yeah, he...ugh, I don't even wanna type what happened to him it's so gruesome...a pumpkin wouldn't even fit. Anyway, Cutscene now to Batgirl patrolling in the Batmobile, doing some Batgirl stuff. She was actually on a transmission with Batman who was elsewhere in the Bat-Wing.

"The city seems quiet, how are you holding up?"

"_Fine, I'll be back at Gotham in about 48 hours, there's still nothing on Ra's Al Ghul or what he's planning. But I'll look into getting you some, special help."_

"Doubt I'll need it, there's no crime whatsoever this evening, it's like crime took a vacation."

"_Well Good luck Bridge, I'll see you when I get back."_

Batgirl continued down the city streets, completely unaware she was walking right into a trap. In a nearby ally, the girls got their plan assembled.

"Okay, shes coming." Harley said "Ready Red?"

"Ugh, why do I have to do this?" Ivy asked

"Because you're the one who likes dressing up in the wigs, now get em sister!"

"Ugh." Ivy walked into the street, and fell. "Oh ow, I've fallen, in the middle of this busy street, and can't get up, oh, if only I listened to C. Everett Coop and those LifeAlert Commercials! Ow, my poor old frail old person liver, and my feeble bones! Ow!"

"Oh my gosh! An old woman in trouble! Funny, seems a little too cliche, which leads me to believe this must be a trap-BUT! I've absolutely no action all evening, but who am I to judge that fat Jersey kid writing this stuff." I'M NOT THAT FAT! Anyway, Batgirl parked the Batmobile in the ally and walked to pale and frail Ivy.

"Oh, Batgirl, I'm soooo happy you could come to my old rescue."

"All in a days work ma'am." she said picking her up. "Need any help getting home?" she asked

"Oh no, I live a few blocks away, I'll just go home, make some steamed rutabagas, drink some prune juice, then watch a little Letterman or some old Johnny Carson. Maybe even watch Arnold Palmer (whose beverage is the sh*t!) talk about things I can remember."

"Oh well that sounds like a fun evening. You elderly folk are so adorable with your evening activities."

"Quite right...and you know what? I was thinking I could also...[disguise rip]-take part in your demise Batzy!" Ivy suddenly conjured up some weeds to pull up from the streets. Which tied her up.

"What the! You tricked me!"

"Nooooooo! Really?" Ivy asked "Oh don't be such a wet blanket Batgirl, we haven't even had our fun yet-ha-ha-ha-ha!" she got closer

"I SWEAR! You kiss me again, there will be words...that my fist will deliver...

_Kristen: words my fist will deliver, what the hell? Niko what is this?_

_Niko: Hey! Kristen! What gives I didn't yell cut!"_

_Kristen: these lines are so out of left field, it-it seems like...so...I dunno, Katie what do you think?_

_Katie: you know, it actually does sound like something Izzy would say, how bout you Bruce, what do you think?"_

_Bruce: Well I mean, it's Nick's script, so-_

_Niko: Shut-up! I don't criticise your voice acting, don't criticise my script-need I remind you this is episode forty-freakin'-two! If you had complaints, you should have told me in episode ONE!_

_Kristen: but Batgirl doesn't debut til episode-"_

_Niko: Zip It! Or you both can go find yourselves other projects to be a part of...like, Spongebob, or-or-or Regular Show, I'm sure Quintel needs more voice talents._

_Bruce: Doesn't Mark Hamill have a character on that show?_

_Niko: yeah-whatever-I dunno, or-or, Adventure Time-"_

_Katie: Ew!_

_Kristen: Please-oh please no!_

_Niko: THEN SHUT-UP AND READ THE DAMN LINES! Thank you. Ain't shtick great? Please, this is for comedic purposes please don't hate the author =)_

"Okay uh-oh God-oh God, uh words with my fists, uh-line-LINE!"

"Uh-uh, yes Batgirl, you will soon meet your utter demise." Ivy smirked

"Oh really, and what's that?"

"This! Ya big chump-[clonk]" Harley hit Batgirl over the head with her big huge mallet. Which knocked her out.

"Alright, now let's get her...dressed, then once we waste her, we'll uncowl her then." Harley suggested

"Sounds good...psst, Niko's pissed."

"Well whose fault is that?"

"Not now Harl..."

Batgirl found herself waking up, but tied up, now wearing her cowl, but footie pajamas, colored in hot pink. The other girls surrounded her from above in similar attire in Harley&Ivy's new loft.

"Unh...unh...huh...wha?"

"Wakey-wakey Batgirl." Heather said

"Huh-HUH?"

"Oh goodie-good, shes awake." Red Claw smiled

"Yeah, wouldn't want her to miss all the fun-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Remember, please don't hate the author, you guys know I love shtick... =) PEACE!**


	87. Girl's Nite Out, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Guys...sigh...did-did you honestly think this was my intent? Come on an evil slumber party? Gimme a break! This ain't Niko66 you knew to do that three years ago! The episode is titled Girl's Nite OUT not Girl's night IN. Trust me, there's way more to this then some dumbass idea thrown together at the last possible minute. I just wanted a little comedy after all the dark stuff that's happened in this season. BUT NOOO! I'll go back to being dark and serious!

That being said, how was your day? =)

Alright, we begin with Batman, as the show is named after him. He entered a manor somewhere in...uh...France? Yeah what the hell, France it is. He entered through one of the second floor windows, hoping his search for Ra's Al Ghul would end there.

"Now, let's see if this potato merchant knew what he was talking about." Suddenly the lights turned on, and Batman saw many explosives littered throughout the room. Then from a radio box he heard the recording of Ra's

"_Bon jour Detective. I trust your travels were successful. Well if you haven't noticed I have riddled this chateau with enough explosives to be the envy of some volatile nations. You know they say cleansing is good for the soul...wonder what yours has to say about that?"_

_. . ._

_David: Wonder what your's has to say about that? Are you trying to get us canceled!_

_Niko: Dave what the hell is wrong with that line?_

_David: What's wrong? Ra's Al Ghul would NEVER say that in a million years._

_Scott: Yeah Niko I'm gonna have to agree with Dave here-_

_Niko: ZIP IT! Just...ugh, I am sooooo peeved right now...just...j-j-just, j-just improv! I'm gonna go smash bricks into my head-ACTION! _

_. . ._

"Oh crap."

"_Farewell Detective, and don't worry about your enterprise, I'm sure I can handle things ha-ha-ha-ha!_

"_Master!"_

"_Ugh, what is it Ubu?"_

"_Call him an infidel!"_

"_Uh, that's normally your schtick."_

"_Alright...INFIDEL!" _

_[end transmission]_

Batman saw the timer delay 5 seconds

"Oh SHI-[BOOOOOOOM]"

Anyway back to Harley&Ivy's loft, where Batgirl finally put all the pieces together...You'll see...

"An evil slumber party?"

"Yeah now that I think about, this idea is lame as hell." Catwoman agreed

"Yeah and these pajamas suck!" Red Claw added

"Ha called it, Harley's plan is lame!" Heather sneered

"Shut-up, it is a great plan and we are going to enjoy it dammit!" She said taking out a bag of Jiffy Pop.

"Yeah no were not." Heather got out a little satchel from her pocket, and took out a small handful of pinkish dust.

"Uh...you know what, I'll just stay here with the slumber party." Batgirl grimaced

"Ha-ha, no way Bratgirl. You're gonna join the villains tonight for a little girl's nite out." Ha she said it! Anyway Heather blew some in her face.

"Cough-cough-cough"

"What is that stuff Heather?" Catwoman asked

"A little dust that alters a person's moral outlook, you see Batgirl was a goody-two-shoes, but now she is a villain like us. So Batzy, how do you feel?"

"I feel...I-I feel...Great." she smirked evilly "Let's go steal something, something really expensive! Or something else! Yeah something bad!"

"Huh...I'm liking this new Batgirl." Catwoman smirked

"Great, now let's get these damn pajamas off, ditch idiot over there, and get work." Heather said.

"Agreed." the girls got into their respectable costumes, and tiptoed out of the loft.

"Okay girls, I got the popcorn, it's a little burnt...okay it's very burnt, but-huh? Girls...Girls, where'd ya-ooh, a note." Harley set the popcorn aside and read the note. "Dear Harley, your plan blows. So we made Batgirl temporarily evil and were taking her on a girls nite out (SHE SAID IT AGAIN) we'll be back never, you're an idiot; Heather -[verooooooom]-P.S. We stole your car. Humph, is there no honor among thieves?" she asked stuffing her face full of the burnt corn "Huh, not bad."

Alright that's enough of her, we go now to the five other girls now in Harley and Ivy's convertible. Ivy drove while the newly evil Batgirl sat shotgun.

"Wow, this is...so...so great! I love this! Oh what should do first girls? Kill someone? No-no-no wait I got it, kidnap someone THEN kill them! Oh what a rush!" the girls exchanged puzzled looks at that statement.

"Uh...we were thinking more along the lines of robbing the Abercrombie and Fitch store at the Gotham Mall." Ivy suggested

"Oh, well, gotta start small, right?"

"Yeah...right..."

Anyway back to France. Batman pulled himself out of the rubble, and stretched in pain

"Gah...ow, God that hurts! -[crick]-Yup, there goes the Back!"

"_Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"_

"Yet somehow the radio transmitter still survived the explosion. Typical." he sighed

"_As always Detective your resilience is impeccable, but I'd like to see you survive my Cougar attacks!"_

From the nearby hills, a horde of cougars approached

"Dammit Ra's! How do you afford these things!"

"_After 600 years of life, you learn how to invest."_

"Ugh...I hope Batgirl is having an easier time then I am."

"_INFIDEL!"_

"Gah! CURSE YOU UBU!"

Anyway we cutscene now to outside the entrance to the A&F store at the Gotham mall, only a pair of locked doors stood in the girl's way of expensive clothing, that does the same if you bought it from a cheaper brand.

"Alright Kitty, you can get us in, right?" Red Claw asked

"Ha, can I get us in she says, ha-ha-ha, piece of cake." Catwoman extended her claws and got to work on the lock. "And-done."

"Wow 3 seconds."

"That's gotta be a record." the girls entered the store.

"Alright ladies, Abercrombie and Fitch were oh-so generous enough to let us have at their once and a lifetime 100% sale, and everything must go-what's that? No dumbass comment from Harley Quinn, this certainly is a dream come true!" Heather jumped for joy

"Yeah but I do feel pretty bad leaving Harl all by her lonesome." Ivy frowned

"Wonder what shes doing anyway?" Red Claw asked

. . .

"Huh, Kramer is funnier if you watch him upside down."

. . .

"Ah shes okay, now come on, the sooner we steal, the sooner we can steal something else!" Batgirl pushed them all along.

"I'm starting to like the new Batgirl." Ivy smiled

"Yeah, me too." Catwoman added

Anyway the girls split up, Red Claw started to bag some jeans. Unbeknownst to her she was being followed.

"Ah, designer jeans. This is why I like this country." that person tapped her on the shoulder. "Huh?"

"Yeah, not sure if you're aware, but this country frowns upon the five finger discount."

"What, but, how did-"

Ivy and Catwoman wandered through the store with bags already full of clothes they might only wear once.

"Hear that?"

"No what?"

"Mhnmhmnmhmnm."

"Gasp! Eva!" They saw she was tied up like a fly caught in a spider's web and gagged. And in front of the two girls stood

"Ahem...Now did you really think your little, dust could change me?" Batgirl asked

"Oh crud."

"Uh, ha-ha Batgirl, fancy seeing you at our favorite place to shop after hours." the girls stepped backwards

"Say, your not still mad about the whole, pretending to be an old woman thing, right?" Ivy asked

"Oh my dear Ivy...perish the thought." she grabbed two Batarangs.

"Damn..."

"AHHHHHH!" Catwoman ran. Then stopped "Wait a minute, I have a whip." he quickly smacked the batarang-[whi-crack] "Ha, take that!"

"Yawn, your boring me Gwen." she threw a small pellet at Catwoman, this one exploded into a tentacle like thing-a-ma-jig which incapacitated Catwoman.

"What in the-hey!"

"Alright, two down-gah!" She was interrupted by one of Ivy's instant weeds strangling her.

"One Batgirl to go." Ivy smirked ...commercial...

"So, any last thoughts, or words...screams of terror perhaps?" Ivy asked

"Two...actually." Batgirl managed to say.

"And those words are? Like they'll make a difference."

"Weed...Killer."

"Gasp! You Witch! Those are the devils words!" now that's something Ivy would say.

"Sure Ivy...and this instant weed killer...is mine!" she used her free hand to spray some on the plants, which rotted them out instantly.

"NOOOOO!"

"Yup, works as advertised. Now as for you."

"Noooo...my babies! Noooooo!" Ivy sobbed, Batgirl simply slapped the cuffs on her. She then noticed Heather in front of her. Holding a dagger...two daggers!

"Ha! You messed with the rest Batgirl, but can you handle the best?"

_Rachel: Okay, what is up with all the freaky lines?_

_Bruce: I don't know, just read it._

_Rachel: but it's so cliché._

_Bruce: it's his show_

_Kristen: well where is his hot-headedness anyhow?_

_Bruce: don'tcha remember he said he would be smashing bricks into his head, now Action!_

"Oh I've beaten the best Heather Al Ghul...and it certainly isn't you." Oh! No she di'nt!

"Errrrrgh! My elixir might not have worked on you Bratgirl, but I will destroy you! No one will have my beloved BUT MEEE!" Heather charged

"When will anyone get it, I'm not dating Batman-[punch]" Before Heather could lunge Batgirl punched her right in the face, knocking her right out.

Batgirl looked around to see all her enemies either busy watching Sitcom's or incapacitated.

"Well ladies, I thank you for a wonderful evening, but I must be getting home now, good night, oh and thank you Heather for that little push I needed to come out of my shell, buh-bye." and just like that she was gone, as the cops came.

We'll finish with Batman in France, who had just knocked out all the cougars, he was a little messed up himself.

"Okay...Call of...Duty...makes this...look...so much easier." he panted.

"_Well done Detective, you've evaded all my prized cougars, but even they are no match for me-"_

"OKAY! THAT IS IT!" he grabbed the radio "NO...MORE...TRAPS!" he broke the radio over his knee "...Gotham is looking pretty good right about now." he limped back to the Bat-Wing.

**THE END!**

**Alight guys, sorry this one kinda sucked, I would also like to apologise for the abrasion, I have had an absolutly miserable day. Season 4 part I finale up next, hope you enjoy, and REVIEW, yeah see ya tomorrow! Cheers =)**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman, Himself

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

_**Also Starring...**_

**Rachel Wilson: **Heather Al Ghul, Herself

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Harley Quinn

**Katie Crown: **Poison Ivy, Herself

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Catwoman

**Julia Chantrey: **Red Claw

**David Warner: **Ra's Al Ghul, Himself

**Jim Cummings: **Ubu

**Carlos Alazaraqui: **Barkeep

**Bruce W. Timm: **Himself

**Niko56: **Myself


	88. The Contract, Part I

**Villain(s): The Exterminator&Tuck, Lock-Up, Featuring: Everyone, Absent: Ra's Al Ghul, Rupert Thorne**

**Episode Archive: ORIGINAL!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini&Michael Reaves&Alan Burnett**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri&Bruce W. Timm**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 43: The Contract, Part I**

_**-8:57pm Bayside Gotham City, New York; U.S.A.-**_

Scarecrow robbed a jewelry store just as it closed.

"And don't try anything funny or else I you'll see the very thing you fear most right before your eyes!" he chuckled as he left. Scarecrow darted down a nearby ally, after finding a safe place, he counted his loot.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha, that's right, come to papa..." he held up a really nice ruby.

"Hmm, nice piece." a voice said

"Huh-what? Whose there?"

"What's wrong Crane, you don't remember me?" the voice turned out to be-

"GASP! YOU! No-no not you, not now, not like this eh!"

"So professor Crane, we can do this the easy way-"

"No-no-no-no."

"Or the hard way..."

"No-no GOD PLEASE-"

"Alright, hard way it is."

"Noooooooo!"

_**-9:12 am Wayne Manor Gotham City, New York; U.S.A.-**_

Geoff Grayson, after getting an unusually good night's sleep, found himself enjoying breakfast in the parlor that morning. While he read the days paper

"Good morning Master Geoffrey, I trust finals went well yesterday?" Alfred greeted him

"Sure was...and Junior year bites the dust." Geoff said "Trent back yet."

"He's on his way, after a fruitless search to find Ra's Al Ghul he decided to come home."

"Well good, the city needs him." Geoff raised his mug

"Agreed, now can you tell me what has gotten into Master Cody?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well it seems he's been preoccupied lately, coming home later then usual, falling asleep in school."

"Alfred, that's no different from any other day."

"No sir I mean more so preoccupied then usual."

"Perhaps it's a girl?" Geoff shrugged

"Hmm...maybe, of course this Cody were talking about-ha-ha-ha-ha." Alfred chuckled.

"Yeah, he couldn't get a date if he...hell if he dated one of our rogues!" Ah, ain't irony great?

"Yeah, could you see him and Harley?" Alfred suggested

"Or him and Ivy?"

"Or him and The Ventriliquist." Notice they never said The Exterminator.

"Yeah, funny." then Geoff noticed something in the local paper. "Huh, that's weird."

"What is it Master Geoffrey?" Alfred asked

"Look at this article. Three More Villain Abductions." Geoff read the article. "Witness claim they saw The Scarecrow, get hauled off last night by a large man to an undisclosed location after he robbed a jewelry store moments earlier."

"Hmm, also abducted last night, Poison Ivy and the Mad Hatter." Alfred continued. "Their disappearances seems to be in a pattern, in the few days, many of Gotham's worst have also disappeared."

"Other's include Bane, Riddler, The Gray Goblin, Red Claw, The Ventriloquist and Sadieface, Mr. Freeze, Killer Croc, and Heather Al Ghul. Some of these were abducted right from Arkham." Geoff finished the article.

"Hmm, who does that leave, assuming we can cut Rupert Thorne, Carmine Falcone and Ra's Al Ghul from the equation?" Alfred asked

"Uh, Joker, Harley, Two-Face, Catwoman...Penguin, The Exterminator, Tucker Vanzetti, and Lock-Up." Also assuming I didn't forget anybody.

"Hmm, this may be my Butler sense tingling again sir, but might I recommend putting a perimeter around those in question, in case this abductor should strike again?" Alfred suggested

"Good idea, not even Arkham is safe anymore, because of her skill level I think we can let Sara be she can take care of herself."

"Ah yes, the insane Ms. Rhinehart, I remember when you two broke it off, it was right outside these doors, what a pity."

"Thanks for opening up that can of worms Alfred."

"Sorry sir, boy so I sure feel sorry for the poor idiot who falls for that psychopath."

"Ditto good buddy."

Speaking of which, let's check up on the sucker. Cody was passed the f*ck out! He was also laying in the most awkward position possible. When suddenly his cell phone rang to tune of-

_How lucky can one guy be...i kissed her and she kissed me-_

"Zzzzzz-huh-wha?" he woke up.

_Like a fella once said, ain't that a kick in the head-" _oh it will be Dean Martin...it will be.

"Uh, hello?"

_**-9:22 am, Undisclosed location, North Eastern New Jersey; U.S.A.-**_

"Hey you."

"_Oh hey Sarablossom, this my wake up call?"_

"Heh-heh, yeah." Sara said with her feet reclining on a desk chair against her desk. She had her costume on, but no mask. "Sure had fun with you last night."

"_Me too, say listen, what were you doing at such a late hour last night when I found you?"_

"Oh I was uh." nervous she unreclined herself and looked out the office window into the cell block below. (you'll see) "Uh, oh you know my Codykins just uh..." DAMMIT! Sierra should have been the Exterminator...but Mae Whitman has the better personality, but dammit though! [And I'm not changing it either, DON'T even ask]

"Uh-doing stuff?"

"_What kind of stuff?"_

"Uh...planning...a...romantic date for us tomorrow night, yeah that's it, come to the Carlton Ritzy on Sequoya Avenue in Teaneck."

"_Teaneck? As in...New Jersey?"_

"There's only one Cod."

"_Eh, you sure? Seems like a long way for dinner."_

"But it's a romantic dinner. And it'll be totally worth it, trust me."

"_Well, alright; see you then, hey; stay out of trouble."_

"I'll try." -NOT!

"_Alright, catch you later sugarplum."_

"You two my little Robin." end transmission. She then saw Tuck enter the office.

"Personal calls X?"

"Uh...maybe."

"Just don't blow your damn cover. We don't want anyone unnecessary snooping around."

"Yes master." [beeeeeeep] "Doorbell."

"I got it." Tuck walked over to the camera monitors to see Lock-Up outside holding Scarecrow

"_It's me open up!" _he said in the raspy voice.

"Opening up." the gates opened. "Took him long enough, you bagged two of them, and in half the time."

"I am the best after all." she smiled

"I know, I trained you."

Anyway, their location was another insane asylum, this particular one was set up much more like a prison, even more-so then Arkham was. Anyway Lock-Up dragged Scarecrow down the cell block hallway.

"Move it, let's go." he ordered, they passed Gray's cell.

"I want out! I said I want out! I'm going crazy in here!" Lock-Up stopped, and approached the cell doors.

"You're already crazy."

"F*ck off you meathead! I'm not sure what your plan is but I can assure you-[whack]-OW!" Lock-Up punched him.

"I can assure you Mr. Boyle that you are a pethetic pile of trash and you like all the rest deserve to be here." (I'm sure SeargentEpsilon will appreciate that one.) The two walked away. Lock-Up opened Crane's new cell.

"Get in." he pushed Scarecrow inside and locked the cell door. Lock-Up continued to the office above the cell block.

"Lock-Up what is this?" Ivy asked

"Yeah?"

"Why this location!"

"You suck!"

"When I get out I'll kill you all!"

"Your dead you bastard!"

"I'll give ya a riddle you won't soon forget!"

"Alright-alright-ALRIGHT SHUT-UP or I'm shocking all of you!" All the villains got away from the bars to their cell.

"Okay."

"Sure thing."

"No problems here."

"That's what I thought." he walked up to the office. "Crazies."

"What'd you expect?" Tuck asked sarcastically.

"What took ya?" Sara asked

"Traffic in Paterson, rerouted me all the way up through Ramsey, back over to Englewood, then to Hoboken, THEN to Union City. I swear Jersey confuses the hell out of me."

"Join the club." Sara added

"So, who do we got left?" Tuck asked

"Quinzel, Napier, Dent, Kyle, and Cobblepot."

"It'll take some doing, but we can get them all tonight...then X...can get rid of them all." Tuck said

"A interesting contract, imprisoning them here just to ice all of the villains in one place, I love it."

"So do I, alright let's get packed up, we grabbing them early this evening."

"Right-"

"I want apple juice!" they heard Bane shout

"Shove it!" Sara yelled

"I can do with a spot of tea please." Hatter added

"I want apple juice! If I had my venom I'd tear the bars off! ...Apple juice please?"

"ZIP IT!" Sara shouted "Let's get the stuff fueled and ready soon before I just kill them all now."

"Ha-ha, that's my girl." Tuck nodded

_**-10:01 am Wayne Manor-**_

"Morning." Cody yawned, sauntering into the kitchen.

"Nearly Afternoon I'd say." Alfred added

"Yeah-yeah, long night of patrolling that's all."

"Seems like we all had a long night." entered

"TRENT!"

"Master Trent, how was your European excursion?" Alfred asked

"Annoying, but; I brought snow globes!"

"YES!"

"So, have you heard about the missing rogues Master Trent?" Alfred asked

"Briefly, I talked to Gordon about it, he thinks it serious."

"I agree."

"And seeing as how Joker, Two-Face, Catwoman, Harley and Penguin are left, I say we try and make a perimeter around them, with the four of us we can split the difference, especially cause I hear Joker and Al teamed up for some sort of project."

"Called it." Alfred said to Geoff.

"Shouldn't you get some rest though?" Cody asked

"Who sleeps anymore?"

_**- 7:18 pm Gotham Morgan Stanley branch, West Side Gotham City, New York; U.S.A.-**_

Joker and Two-Face stood in the dark records room, on the dark 21st floor of the building.

"Come on Joker, did you find those damn bookie records yet?" Al asked

"Easy there faces, ya can't rush perfection."

"I ain't rushing perfection, I'm rushing you! Let's go, this place creeps me out at night for some reason." Two-Face said peering out into the office room of cubicles.

"Oh don't tell me old Al is afraid of the dark-hah-hah-hah-hah."

"No! I just think we could get busted that's all." he started to flip his coin.

"Calm down there Chicken Little, I found them." Joker closed the filing cabinet.

"Good, can we go now?"

"Sure, let's hit it." they entered the main floor walking passed the huge window pane spanning the floor.

"Beautiful city isn't i- What the?" suddenly a huge helicopter hovered right in front of them, it was a modified Russian Hind.

"What in the world is that thing?" Two-Face asked

"I don't want to find out, come on Al!"

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	89. The Contract, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"Wow, Gordon really does not like us all of the sudden." Joker scratched his chin

"Uh, I think it's safe to say that is NOT a police chopper Joker."

"What makes you say that-ha-ha."

"_You know Joker you would be wise to listen to puke face!" Exterminator said over the chopper's loud speaker._

"Uh, who dat?" Joker asked

"I know who that is." Two-Face glared "It's that assassin Sara Rhinehart, better known as the Exterminator."

"What? That curvy little number from Arkham with the highlights?" Joker asked in disbelief.

"The very same." Two-Face started to flip his coin. "Thorne hired her to off me a few weeks ago, another favor I owe to the bat!"

"Figures, and if I'm correct, she tried to whack my Harley! What the hell woman shes does my laundry!" Joker fumed.

"_Aw too bad Joker...but I have to get to her next anyway! Ha-ha-ha-ha, get ready to FRY!"_

"Oh pi-shaw! You think you can off us both just cause you have yourself a fancy-pants flying machine?"

"_Uh...yeah."_

"Oh, okay then."

"Joker, we should probably fight back." Two-Face suggested

"No sh*t Sherlock!"

"Aw, too bad, I always like to get the first shot off-[baaaaaaaaang]"

"DUCK!"

The two sprawled (meaning to bounce into a prone position) to the floor as the chain gun blew open the window.

"Okay, this is bad." Joker sighed

"Oh...YA THINK!" Suddenly a Batarang came out of nowhere and knocked out the spotlight to the helicopter -[chok]

"What in the?"

"Joker! Al!" the two turned around

"Well-well look what the Bat dragged in-"

"Not the time you psycho! I'm just helping you both out of a bad situation. Now let's go!" Batman ordered

"_Ha-ha, nice Batman; so you knocked out my spotlight...sigh, gosh darnit, looks like I'm just gonna have to-BLINDLY BLOW THE FLOOR TO SMITHERINES!"_

"Great!"

"Smooth move Captain Killjoy." Joker groused.

"Just duck!" Batman took out several more Batarangs and chucked as he ducked. Exterminator shot several missiles from the wings, but when they exploded they shot out a net, which trapped Joker,

"Holy-[thud]" ooh, right on the chin.

"What in the? She didn't kill him?" Two-Face asked

"Strange-[poosh]" another missile was fired this time at Two-Face "Look out Alejandro!" Batman pushed him out of the way just in time for the missile to tie him up.

"Well-well-well, tied Bat, how could I possibly pass this up." Two-Face flipped...Good heads "Crap!"

"Look out Al!"

"Gah!" another net grabbed Two-Face

"_Thanks for the distraction Batman! I knew Two-Face couldn't resist a coin flip for your death!"_ suddenly two mechanical claws appeared, grabbing the two villains! Batman was quick to flick a tracking device onto Two-Face's jacket.

"Noooo! My coin!"

"Dammit! Bats! Get off your duff and help us! That's what you do right?" Joker asked "HELP!"

"Would if I could but I'm a little tied up at the moment!" Batman grimaced trying to get his knife to cut himself out. By then, Exterminator was flying away, with both villains.

"Grrrrrr." he growled picking Two-Face's coin. "Now I have the motivation. Question is...where does that take me?"

_**- 9:45 pm Iceberg Lounge, Midtown Gotham City; New York, U.S.A.-**_

Anyway at the Iceberg lounge, Penguin was busy in his office doing some of the days book keeping, while eating a desk sandwich.

Tuck had other ideas, he was already inside the vents right above the office. Conveniently there was a duct right above where he sat. Tuck carefully opened the vent.

"Ah, desk sandwich, is there no problem you can't solve." As Tuck slowly lowered himself, Penguin threw him against the nearest wall, and pointed his machine gun Umbrella at him

"huh-wha-[thud]-ungh."

"I don't know who you are, or how you even got in here sir, but I know how you're getting out...the hard way!"

"My name is Tucker Vanzetti!" he stood up

"Didn't really ask who you were, but like a vulture to some roadkill-you're lunch."

"Afraid not Mr. Cobblepot, you're the one who will be lunch-[shing]" he aunched a throwing knife and knocked the umbrella from his hand.

"Oh crud."

"Your mine!" that's what she said

Anyway, one of Penguin's waitresses politely knocked on his office door.

"Uh-boss-" [crash-pow-zok-bam] "Boss, got those other returns you ask for. "Uh-boss-[CRASH]" suddenly the door flew open, and Penguin along with it.

"Ahhhhhh!"

"Alright Cobblepot, let's make this easy, just give it up!" Tuck yelled exiting the office.

"Alright guy, what's your damage?" Penguin asked

"You costumed screw-ups that's what!"

"We'll see about that, Sparrow, Jay!"

"On it boss!"

"Right here sir!" his most trusted henchman darted forward.

"Oh good, you brought in the fail brigade, I'm so scared!"

"You will be Tuck!"

"What-[thok]" Nightwing dove in and kicked Tuck to the ground.

"Ergh! You look well, especially for someone who fell a couple stories to certain doom."

"Yeah, I'd say the same for Exterminator."

"Right." Tuck drew a suppressed Micro-Uzi. "I'm gonna tell her I turned you into Swiss cheese."

"Crap! DUCK!"

"Oh Harvey, this date was quite the romantic one."

. . .

"Nothing's too good for you my little-" [bang-bang bang bang bang]-WHAT!" Chef was interrupted from his date with a pretty busty girl at the Iceberg by Tuck's gunshots, everyone dispersed. "Uh, excuse me a sec honey, duty calls." Chef drew his gun "HEY! What the hell!"

"You! You're that Bullock guy! Eat my lead dammit I don't have time for this!" he continuously fired

"What ugh" he, gunned down sparrow!

"Sparrow! That's it you little I'm gonna-[bang bang bang]-unh." and down went Jay.

"No!" Penguin yelled

"Well this ain't going nowhere." Chef groaned throwing another clip into his gun.

"Alright, everyone clear out NOW!" Nightwing ordered. Only for himself to be knocked in the back of the head.

"Now Penguin, will you come quietly?"

"Uh...maybe."

"Good."

Chef waited for the smoke to clear and saw the unconscious crime fighter.

"What in the hell did you guys do now?"

_**-moments later Undisclosed Location, Northeastern New Jersey U.S.A.-**_

Lock-Up had already returned back to the prison with Harley Quinn.

"I thought you said I won a contest!"

"Shut-up. And you did win a contest Harley." he opened her new cell "A one way life time ticket to jail! Ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-ahahahha-aha-aha-aha!" he slammed the door.

"Who are you?" Harley asked

"Oh come on Quinn, don't you remember?" he took off his mask

"Gasp! Richard Moll!"

"That's right i-NO-no you idiot its me Lock-Up!"

"Ooooooh...GASP! Lock-Up!"

"There it is." he started to walk towards the office

"Oh good you're back." Exterminator greeted him.

"I trust nabbing Dent and Napier was no trouble?"

"No trouble at all-in fact, it went easier then expected." she smirked "So much so I even managed to snag Kyle."

"You got all three?" Lock-up asked

"Piece of cake. Come with me, I have another surprise." They walked back into the cell block. Passing Catwoman in her cell. She was completely beaten.

"Well-well, you two dogs back for more?" she asked showing some claw.

"I think you forget whose in the cage-heh-heh-heh-heh." Exterminator chuckled

"Go to hell." she drifted off to sleep.

"Nice, but what's the surprise?" Lock-Up asked

"This..." she walked over to the adjacent cell.

"Batgirl?" why does she always get captured

"Yeah, made it so easy for me too. Look, Tuck just called me, said he got Cobblepot and he's heading home. I wanna talk to her."

"Right, I'll watch the monitors." Lock-Up walked away, and Exterminator entered her cell. Catwoman who was pretending to sleep put her head up to the wall to listen in...that hallways was empty and she could only hear the conversation being said.

"Wake up Gordon!" Exterminator yelped

"Huh. You-"

"Don't play dumb with me Bridgette, I know everything. Especially that Geoff left me for your skanky ass!"

"Ha-ha." Bridgette chuckled "How'd you find out?"

"Bridgette Gordon is Batgirl...the commissioner's daughter?" Catwoman whispered

"I found out cause I remembered Nightwing, besides he gave it away eventually. Mark my words, I will get my special revenge on you...you'll see, I'll make you pay. I'll make you all pay! Especially you...what's the attraction anyway! I'm so much hotter then you!"

"Conceited much? And maybe it's cause you're nuts!"

"How dare you-[slap]! Well have a pleasant evening, I'll be relishing in my revenge." she walked away closing the cell door.

"I sure feel sorry for the poor sap who falls for you Sara!"

"Ha-ha-ha...oh if only you knew...ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! If only you knew-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

"Like I said before, nuts."

_**-10:03 pm Commissioner Gordon's office Midtown Gotham City, New York; U.S.A.-**_

Now waking up Nightwing sat in Chris's office after Chef had brought him back. Chris was sipping some coffee starring out of his window.

"Yup, crazy world we live in my friend."

"You said it Commish' From God's Checkbook to your city."

"Nice, I like that one." Chris turned around

"What do you know about this Tuck guy Chris?"

"Not much other then he's an Ex-C.I.A. Wetworks op and sniper, same as with your buddy Rhinehart, you two got some sort of history?"

"You could say that, yeah." Nightwing sighed

"Besides the fact they were fired for being too crazy here's what I can tell you about people like them, from being in this business as long as I have...there are some people in this world, people that want to watch and see the world through their sights...those people are the ones who want nothing more but to kill you...because they're bored...no matter who you are, you're at their mercy...and until they're stopped you have no other way of getting away."

"I hear ya."

"I'll tell you this Nightwing, whatever their plan is...I can assure you...It's all part of their sick twisted little game.

_**-Bat-Cave 10:16 pm Gotham City, New York; U.S.A.-**_

"Police reports say Exterminator nabbed Batgirl too along with Catwoman."

"Figures." Robin rolled his eyes.

"Fortunately, the tracking device I stuck on Two-Face should point us to their location."

"Which is?" Robin asked

"Hang on, it's buffering...lousy internet...doo-da-doo-boo-boop, so how are thing's on your end?" Batman asked

"Uh well I uh..." am dating a super villain "Uh...Look Trent, there's something I gotta-"

"Ah here we go...according to the device they are, in some large prison, on the outskirts of...looks like Teaneck New Jersey."

"_Meet me at the Carlton Ritzy on Sequoya Avenue in Teaneck-Sequoya Avenua in Teaneck-Teaneck-Teaneck."_

"Robin...Robin...ROBIN!"

"Huh, what? Oh sorry."

"You alright."

"Uh, yeah-yeah just tired that's all."

"Well untire yourself, you and Geoff are taking the Batwing and go inspecting the old place."

"And you?"

"I'm gonna pay a visit to the last known Warden of the facility, Dr. Hans Steinreich, he lives in Rumson. So I'll be awhile."

"Uh, okay."

"What was that thing you were gonna tell me?"

"Uh-nothing, nothing at all."

"Alright, then let's go." Batman disappeared on the Batmobile.

"Ugh...Sara, what are you up too?"

**To Be Continued...End of Part I**

**Alright guys, I know your gonna love that. So leave me a REVIEW and get ready for more tomorrow! Alright then, stay tuned!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Robin

**Dan Petronijevic: **Nightwing

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Mae Whitman: **The Exterminator, various

**Jeff Bennett: **Tuck

**Richard Moll: **Lock-Up

**Drew Nelson: **Joker

**Marco Grazzini: **Two-Face

**Peter Oldring: **Scarecrow, Mr. Freeze

**Katie Crown: **Poison Ivy

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Harley Quinn, The Ventriloquist

**Scott McCord: **Penguin

**Brian Fraud: **Mad Hatter

**Cle Bennett: **Bane

**Lauren Lipson: **Sadieface

**Julia Chantrey: **Red Claw

**Carter Hayden: **Riddler

**Adam Reid: **Killer Croc

**Mark Hamill: **The Gray Goblin

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Catwoman

**Rachel Wilson: **Heather Al Ghul

**Rob Paulsen: **Jay

**Tara Strong: **waitress, various

**Corey Burton: **Sparrow

**Dee Bradley Baker: **additional voices

**Cree Summer: **Chef's date


	90. The Contract, Part III

**Villain(s): The Exterminator&Tuck, Lock-Up. Featuring: Everyone else. Absent: Ra's Al Ghul Rupert Thorne**

**Episode Archive: ORIGINAL!**

**Written By: Nik56**

**Directed By: Alan Burnett&Eric Radomski**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini&Michael Reaves&Randy Rogel**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami&Bruce W. Timm**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 44: The Contract, Part II**

YEAH! Season 4 Finale! Let's get it ON!

_**-11:24 pm House of Dr. Hans Steinreich. Rumson New Jersey; U.S.A.-**_

Batman landed on the roof of Dr. Steinreich's house. Now anyone who has ever been to Rumson should know, they got some money over there, almost every house is a mansion. This guy, no exception. The whole house seemed dark. He must have been asleep.

"Wow, I thought I had a nice house." Batman nodded. But business as usual, he picked the lock to the nearest skylight and slid on in.

Batman found himself on a bridge hallway, as in either side you can see the floor below. He got right to work, looking in every nook and cranny to find something about the old prison/Asylum. His fruitless search took him to the living room downstairs, while looking through a cabinet the light suddenly turned on

Sh*t!

"Ahem, may I help you?" the robbed man asked in a sophisticated soothing voice.

Batman sighed, and slowly but surely turned around with his hands drawn. The guy had slicked back red and black hair, Caucasian, with a scar down his left eye. He held a Walther P38.

"Perhaps you can." Batman kept a cool head but in reality he was sh*tting in his tights...C'mon he's still Trent. "Are you Hans Steinreich?"

"Ah, Doctor, Hans Edward Nygma-Steinreich. But yes, I am him."

"Nygma...any relation to a Noah Nygma?"

"Why yes, he's my stepbrother, crazy young fellow, but; we all have our demons?"

"True."

"And you...uh-Bat something or other was it?"

"Yup...you two sure are related...somewhat...I was wondering you could help me out."

"Depends, what it is?" Hans asked

"What can you tell me about a prison asylum you used to work at up in Teaneck?" Batman asked

"Ah yes...The old Barnes Hartman Correctional Sanatorium." he set his gun on the coffee table. "I'm not usually one to discuss my past...what's in it for me?"

"Given the information I've recently acquired, the lives of many saved...as well as your stepbrother's."

Hans scratched his chin for a moment.

"Hmm...Have a seat Batman."

"Thank you."

"So...what do you need to know?"

_**-Same Time, Outside the BHCS, Teaneck New Jersey; U.S.A.-**_

Nightwing and Robin put the Bat-Wing in idle above the facility.

"Okay, what's our plan of attack?" Robin asked

"Uh...Don't get our asses kicked, liberate everyone, catch Rhinehart, Vanzetti and Bolton, go home and go get a pizza in Scotch Plains."

"...Okay, I'll make our plan of attack." Robin sighed

The two dove to the top roof of the complex, atop a large skylight.

"Alright, we split up, I kill the power, you find the keys, and see where that takes us." Nightwing repeated

"Good you remembered the plan, and the sooner we bring the wheels to motion, the sooner we go home." Robin said picking the lock. "And the sooner I can see my Sara-heart." he whispered

"Huh?"

"Uh...pizza?"

"Right, Scotch Plains afterward, I know a good place by the high school."

The two dove into the cafeteria, and went their separate ways.

. . .

Back in Rumson Hans explained his story to Batman.

"You see the Prison was actually supposed to serve two purposes when it opened. Part Sanatorium, part prison."

"I see."

"This place was supposed to house the criminals that were too...let's call them above normal to society. And the Department of Correction's standards."

"Right which is why they could call it an asylum."

"Precisely, these guys were like the chronic armed robbers, spree and serial killers, repeat rapists and sex offenders-"

"Basically the trash the minimum security prison's didn't want?" Batman deduced

"Exactly, now it wasn't quite maximum security simply because we didn't have the proper housing numbers. Let's see, Dylan Barnes; a Teaneck native and Phillip Hartman of Western Bayonne were both decorated police officers who simply wanted a little more with their lives."

"So they opened the prison?"

"Yes, I believe it was in 1934 if I'm not mistaken."

"So, what is with all these weird stories I hear about the place?" Batman asked

"Funny you should ask, it's actually one part my fault, and one part your friend I'm sure-Christian Gordon's."

"What?"

. . .

Nightwing wandered through the dark old hallways of the facility, it looked far too quiet. Suddenly his suspicions would be answered.

"Huh...now if I were the power switch, where would I-[slam]-Gah!" Lock-Up slammed Nightwing into the nearest wall.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha, well, Nightrider, right?" he slapped his baton against his hand

"Night-WING!"

"Potato pototo! Yeah well pototo this!" he kicked Lock-Up right in the gut!"

"You little." he side swiped the hero.

Thud "Ugh! Ha, two can play at this game!" he then sideswiped Lock-Up.

"Whoa-[thud]" Nightwing stood up and darted down the hall.

"Grrr! You little weasel! I'll get you myself!"

"You have to catch me first old man!"

. . .

"What do you mean Chris Gordon?" Batman asked in disbelief.

"His old man James Gordon, was once the assistant Warden to our facility during my administration, it was where he wanted young Chris to learn the ropes. Chris, wanted a plan to help keep the prisoner's in line, the two of us concocted a serum to do just that."

"And that was?"

"We called it Nova-6, it was a nerve agent that impaired the brain's thought process enough to numb down the dominant genes a person has, in other words, making them model prisoners. I unfortunately took it one step further, and added a few more chemicals. Well, that's when thing's went wrong. It was on that day, May 18th, 1988. My security chief at the time, deliberately spilled the sample as I was mixing it, and; well it got all over me, then in the vents. Effecting all the prisoners, and nearly half my staff. Chris, his father, and the SC were unharmed...the others well...not so lucky, they all perished, slowly...painfully."

"What about you?"

"Remember when I said we all have our own demons?" Hans asked

"Yes."

"Well...here goes." he held his face, which then turned a sickly pale color, and his eyes glowed yellow, his teeth turned razor sharp, his voice, more German in nature and more high pitched.

"LIKE THISSSS!" he grabbed Batman's neck.

"What the!"

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

. . .

Robin found himself looking in the office above the main cell block where Exterminator sat comfortably in her office chair, not realizing her main squeeze was behind her.

"There you are." he whispered. He quietly tiptoed behind her, and put his hands over her eyes "Guess who-"

"Hi-yeah!" SLAM!

"OW! Bitch!"

"Huh? Oh my Gosh! Robin!" she ran over to him, after throwing him down.

"Ow."

"I'm sorry baby, but you should know better then to sneak up on a former government assassin like that."

"Ugh...message received." he groaned painfully.

"Well what are you doing here? Just had to see me?" she asked

"Actually I came to stop you...whatever it is?" Robin said rubbing his head.

"Oh I know you did Cody-Bear." she closed the distance between them. "You know I can't resist trouble. And I'm sure you and your friends will stop our plan." she rolled her eyes.

"Good, and before I send you back to Arkham, we'll have that date."

"Gasp-oh Cody, really!"

"Yup. Now come here you naughty girl." they made out...YEAH BUDDY!

Unfortunately for them others noticed from different locations throughout the cell block. Nightwing from a floor below, and Tuck, right outside the door.

"So...how long has this been going on?" Nightwing asked with a complete frown.

. . .

"Gr-gah-grrrr." Batman struggled

"Aha-ha-ha-ha! Now...Get OUT!"

"How bout you!" he kicked Hans back to the couch, where he started to return to...let's call it normal.

"S-s-s-sorry, but that's what happened, rather than kill me, I absorbed too much that it simply manifested itself into an evil persona, I have him controlled for the most part, but; he does resurface from time to time."

"You don't say."

"I call him Evil Hans."

"Fitting. So, what happened next?"

"Closed the place the next day, lot-stock-and barrel, Chris and Jim moved on to Gotham, and me to this neck of the woods where I design software and video games for Ubisoft...It runs in the family."

"Ah. I see. So, is there anymore of your Nova-6."

"Mm-hmm, tons, a good 12 100 gallon barrels, one could do some serious damage if they wanted."

"Well thank you for your time Dr. Steinreich." Batman stood up

"My pleasure."

"So, who was the name of that evil security chief?"

"Sorry, can't tell ya, though he was and probably still is deranged."

"Tell me."

"How bout this, I don't tell you, and- SICK EVIL HANS ON YOU!"

"Or this, you a betting man?" Hans returned to normal.

"Maybe, what's the wager?" Batman took out Two-Face's coin.

"Good heads...you tell me, bad heads...you don't, fair?"

"Ah, what the hell I have nothing to lose."

"Alright then." [plink] "Good heads."

"Damn, alright...his name...is Lyle Bolton." Batman's eyes went wide. He immediately left the manor, and called for the Batmobile.

"I only hope I'm not too late."

Steinreich watched him leave from his living room window.

"Good luck Batman-[screeeeeeee]-you're gonna need it-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm."

Batgirl had emerged from her short slumber and walked to the front of the cell. Looking up a floor at the office window she saw the scene

"...No...this...this can't be happening. Robin and that psycho! No."

"Believe it Gordon-"

"Gasp!"

"I could've spotted that one a mile away." Catwoman said from next door.

The two finally stopped kissing.

"Wow...that was nice." Robin said

"Thanks, so were you-"

"AHEM!" Tuck entered

"GASP! Master!"

"Don't you master me! So Ex...when were you going to tell you were sleeping with the enemy?" he raised a gun."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**ICECREAM CAKE!  
**


	91. The Contract, Part IV

**PLEASE REVIEW! YEAH!  
**

"So, sleeping with the enemy, are you Ex? Thought I trained you better than that."

"Well, technically we haven't actually...you know done any-"

"Shut-up Kid." Clint Eastwood much?

"Yes sir."

"I can't believe it...Sara...I practically raised you-trained you! And you do this!" the gun was pointed at her.

"So what, now you kill me?" Suddenly Lock-Up entered.

"How, will she kill all the inmates if you kill her Tuck?" Unfortunately the other villains heard his loud raspy voice.

"What!"

"Are you nuts!"

"That goes without saying!"

"I wanna sandwich!"

"How could you kill us!"

"Alright-alright-al-SHUT-UP!" Lock-Up yelled "Thank you."

"Relax, you're still a teenage girl like any other, I should have foreseen this happen eventually." Robin and Exterminator sighed of reief

"But-"

"But?"

"You mean there's a but?"

"Oh, there is! Cause you are going to hate me once I destroy your boyfriend...or given your strength and moxie should I say girlfriend." the gun found itself on Cody.

"Hey!"

"I'll have you know he's far bigger then my last-"

"WHAT!" Nightwing yelled in the distance

"What was that?" Tuck asked.

"Came from this way." Lock-Up pointed

"I'll go, Lyle stay with the love birds, I'll be back." Tuck cocked the gun, and left the office.

"Yes sir." he turned back to the two.

Tuck walked into the hallway not far from Nightwing's cry. He was already waiting for him. Meanwhile Batgirl was using from what she had to unlock her cell.

"So, does Daddy know your the world's foremost female vigilante? He must be soooo proud."

"Zip it Gwen, can't you see I'm trying to save everyone's ass."

"Riiiiiiiiiiight, so why do you do it? The prestige? The fun? Do you keep a few momentos for yourself?"

"No, I'm a good egg, unlike you." she sneered trying to pick the lock with a Batarang.

"Yeah-yeah I bet underneath the cowl, your a little devil aren't you."

"Shut-up Gwen."

"Oh come off it, you know I'm right. You sure you and Batman don't have a little thing-[spritz]" agitated she sprayed Gwen with some Forget-Me-Bat.

"Thank God."

"Huh...wha...Batgirl! Bout time your doing something!"

"Sigh...yup, shes back." -[prink] "Ha-got it." she opened up the cell.

"Oh great you got out, what about me?"

"Uh...gee Cat lemme thing, uh-no." she smirked and flicked Catwoman's nose.

"Grrrrrrr! When I get out...I'm gonna claw your face to pieces you hear me!"

"Yeah, but just think, you'll still be doing 10-20 at Arkham. Can you wait that long Gwenny."

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I hate you!"

"Love you too." Batgirl sneaked away.

Anyway Tuck was ready to turn a corner, but as he did-[Zok]

"Awwwwwwww!"

SLOW MOTION!

Nightwing slammed Tuck against the wall. Then tossed him to the floor.

Normal speed...

"You little! F*ck you Nightrider!"

"Night-WING...WING...Say it!"

"Never."

"Then I'll make you!" he got Tuck in a choke hold. "Say it...Say it!"

"Niiiiiight...wwwwwiiiiing."

"There it is-[chok]"

"Aw!" Nightwing headbutted him.

"You little brat!" he sideswiped him.

"Dammit-[thud]"

"Now...you will."

"Uh yeah, 4 year varsity wrestler bitch!"

"Gah-[thud]" Nightwing kicked him and stood back up.

"That's it, I've had it with you!"

"And I've had it with you!"

Ah I love this fight move. Nightwing did the three part kick ass offensive take-down. Kick in the shin.

"Gah." Which then led to the knee cap to the stomach "GAH!" and when he was hunched, he finished with the karate chop to the spine. "Ow!" he then hit the floor.

"Enjoy the pain Vanzetti...oh yeah, thanks for making Sara a crazy bitch."

"Uggggh...go to hell." Tuck moaned. "Wait...Night...wing." he turned around

"What?"

"The gas...I'll release the gas."

"What gas?" he asked.

"That was what...what Sara was going to use to kill them all...with this remote, I'll release the gas in the barrels linked to the sprinkler and ventilation system...It's on a 10 minute timer delay, but I can assure you it works in seconds."

"No..."

"Yes...I might go with it, but at least I'll know you, and those villainous morons will go as well."

"What about Sara?"

"Oh she'll make it, shes very resourceful. You guys on the other hand...not so much. Goodbye Nightwing. NOT nice knowing you. Ha-ha-ha-ha-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" he pressed the button and passed out.

"NOOOOOOO!"

"10 minutes! Tick-Tick...BOOM! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

Nightwing sprinted away.

"Batman?" Nightwing got over his Bat-Communicator.

"_Yes?"_

"Problem!"

"_Lemme guess, one of the idiots pressed a timer button and you got 15 minutes-"_

"Ten."

"_10 minutes to stop it, free the villains and blah-blah-blah."_

"Uh, yeah; how did-"

"Don't ask, I'm inbound-ETA...Now."

"Huh-[CRASH!]"

Batman dove through the skylight and landed at the bottom of the cell block.

"Well-welll-"

"Look what the Bat dragged in!"

"Joker, doesn't that get a little old."

Back in the office, Lock-Up still didn't take his eyes off the duo even though there was much commotion.

"I'm not going to leave." Lock-Up assured them.

"Oh great." they saw Batgirl sneak up behind Lock-Up.

"Shhhhhhh."

"What was that-[bong]" right in the back of the head. "Grrrrr! Why you little-[Clang]" she then kicked him into the control panel, a knocked out Lock-Up landed on the all cages mode button mode to open.

"Every...freakin...time." she groaned.

Suddenly all the cages opened. And the villains smirked at Batman now in front of them.

"Dammit Bridge, whose side are you on?" he whispered getting into a fighting stance. Joker who was on the second floor talked from above. Harley was at his side

"You know kids, as scared and pissed off as I was that our lives would soon be over, it warms my heart to know we have a Bat to take our anger out on!"

"I agree if only I had my DAMN COIN!"

"Let's make him cry!" Ivy screamed.

"Alright...need I remind you all we have less than 10 minutes before the gas will go off and you will all die!"

"Well then it looks like we have 10 minutes to to kill-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Back at the office.

"So, when were you going tell me you were dating probably one of the most evil villains we've ever went against?"

"Uh...cause shes cute?"

"I am kinda cute."

"Robin shes NUTS!"

"I am nuts, nuts for my Codykins." she gave him a quick kiss

"Codykins?"

"Oh yeah she knows everything about us."

"But don't worry the secret is safe with me I promise." Then Nightwing entered

"Ahem!"

"Oh Geoff, don't start please!"

"Don't start? Hmm, let's see, if I recall the last time we met you tried to KILL me! And then we plummeted two stories through a roof! And now you don't want me to start! I can't believe this! Cody! She is a psychopath! How can you make out with her?"

"Cause were kinda dating!"

"Oh isn't this just a freaking hoot!"

"You guys." Heather entered amonst their clamoring

"WHAT!"

"Need I remind you we have a limited time frame and Trent needs us! How do you shut off the gas?"

"Easy." Exterminator went over to a valve. And twisted the nob "Done, even when the timer goes off, the gas cannot flow."

"Really?" Batgirl asked "It was that...FREAKIN EASY!"

"Why didn't you tell us?" Heather aksed

"Well, you didn't ask." she chuckled.

"UGH!"

"Come on, might as well go check on him." Robin looked out the window to see that Batman had subdued everyone.

"Whoa, he is good...s'why I love him." Heather smiled

"Hey Batman, need any help?" Nightwing asked

"Nooooooo! Don't worry about me guys I'm fine, yup totally got this by myself!" he complained

"Come on, we better go help him." Batgirl sighed

"Yeah good idea."

"And as for you mister-" she began

"This talk, is FAR from over." Nightwing finished.

"Sigh."

"Guess we gotta put a rain-check on our date huh?"

"I guess." Robin rolled his eyes, cuffing her.

"Hey it's okay I mean, I'll escape."

"I know...come on, we'll plan the next date."

"Sounds good to me."

Later outside, The local police and the GPD were ready to send all the villains back to Arkham. Chris joined in the bust along with Montoya.

"Alright, let's get em outta here!"

"Hey Al, you dropped this." Batman flicked him his coin.

"Thanks, I guess."

"And Noah, I met your stepbrother."

"Oh yeah, he's a riot ain't he, that demon of his, real fun at parties." he said sarcastically. Batman walked over to Chris.

"Hans told you everything huh?"

"Yes...even though this whole ordeal was Bolton's fault."

"Well, I guess I had a little something to do with it."

"You think?" Batman amirked

"Not just you son...so did I." an older gentleman walked up, Batgirl smiled "Grandpa?" she whispered

"Dad!"

"Jim."

"Hello old friend, good bust."

"Thanks. Guess things really took a turn for the worst here huh?"

"More or less, I just hope that one day a place like this will no longer have to exist...so there will be no more of these...contracts."

"Couldn't agree more..."

**The End!**

**End of Season 4**

**Alright guys another season bites the freaking dust! We jump into Season 5 tomorrow! With a biggie, Over the Edge. We also gotta Holiday special, 2 new villains, Crossover with Inspector Gadget, and more. This isn't possible without your REVIEWS! So keep them coming!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Robin

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**Dan Petronijevic: **Nightwing

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Courtney Montoya

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Mae Whitman: **The Exterminator

**Jeff Bennett: **Tuck

**Richard Moll: **Lock-Up

**John Glover: **Dr. Hans Steinreich

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Angry Hans

**Drew Nelson: **Joker

**Marco Grazzini: **Two-Face

**Carter Hayden: **Riddler

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Harley Quinn, the Ventriloquist

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Catwoman

**Rachel Wilson: **Heather Al Ghul

**Peter Oldring: **Mr. Freeze, Scarecrow

**Scott McCord: **Penguin

**Mark Hamill: **The Gray Goblin, Joker's Laugh

**Julia Chantrey: **Red Claw

**Cle Bennett: **Bane

**Brian Fraud: **The Mad Hatter

**Adam Reid: **Killer Croc

**Lauren Lipson: **Sadieface

**Bob Hastings: **James Gordon


	92. Author's Note III

Preliminary Episode Guide for Season 7

**SEASON 7**

**(1) The Killing Joke (Part II): Joker- **Geoff Grayson, now permanently disabled and wheelchair bound, assumes his new role as NH (Night-Hacker) and helps the Bat Trio whenever he can internally from the Bat-Cave. His help in catching the elusive Joker becomes invaluable now that the psycho knows Batman is after him, maybe with a vengeance. The climax end at the same location where Nightwing and Joker fought earlier.

**(2) Ferris Boyle's Day Off: The Gray Goblin- **diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer, Dr. Bartholomew (Frank Welker) informs Boyle he only has 24 hours to live. The Gray Goblin makes the most of this time by escaping and wreaking havoc in the city celebrating the fact that this won't be his problem in a matter of hours. All the while breaking the fourth wall (because he doesn't care) to give the audience advice on how to perform his various shenanigans. After being captured Bartholomew tells Boyle he messed up his charts accidentally, and tells him he doesn't even have cancer at all.

**(3) Icy Tension: Mr. Freeze, Mrs. Freeze- **All but cured of his cold disease, Tyler Fries re-enters Gotham, a new man. Trying to recompense with his wife Nora (Dana Delaney), he is soon trapped by the vengeful Mrs. Freeze. Bent on revenge, she kidnapped her sister and forces Tyler to choose, his life or hers. Broken, Tyler must recreate his accident to become Mr. Freeze once more, and stop his raging sister-in-law from killing his wife, all with the help of Batman.

**(4)**Crazy Old Farmer Brown (Rewrite of Critters): Farmer Brown- **Genetic mutater and farmer, Farmer Brown (Peter Breck) creates a genetically altered cow at an agricultural expo in Gotham, hoping to end world hunger. It goes haywire, and he is forced to rescind all his research causing him to loose millions. A year later, he returns, bent on destroying the city with a horde of genetically altered animals, it will take everyone to fight off the animal stampede. With several bad animal puns along the way. And Chef being, uh...well; being Chef.

**(5)...First, Dig Two Graves: Poison Ivy, Two-Face, Harley Quinn- **Izzy is awoken at her's and Harley's lair in the middle of the night, by the smell of smoke, she quickly learns that someone has set all of her plants on fire. Two-Face is out for revenge for Ivy trying to kill him. To add to the TWO-ness of it all, he kidnps Harley to make her double the distressed. Even though they disagree, Batgirl and Ivy will have to team up, to rescue Harley and take down the vengeful Alejandro. In the end Batman delivers Sun Tzu's quote to the three "When embarking on journey of revenge, you must first dig TWO graves."

**(6) The Bounty: The Terrible Trio, The Exterminator&Tuck, Catwoman- **Gwen Kyle Escapes, this time to England. Scotland Yard enlists the help of Batman, as well as Alfred's old friend and colleague Fredrick (Roy Doctrice). The team embarks on a quest to find Catwoman while she treats herself to a crime spree. Meanwhile the bounty for her capture has intrigued notorious villains The Terrible Trio, The Exterminator and Tuck. Courtney and Chef tag along as well, with Robin...

**(7)**Beware the Creeper: (Rewrite of Beware the Creeper) - Joker, Harley Quinn- **Tonight marks the 7th anniversary of Joker's transformation and Gotham reporter Jack Ryder (Jeff Bennett) does an expose on the story. Where Joker actually transforms the mild mannered newscaster into a psycho even crazier than himself. He goes on a comical hunt to find Joker, while busting a move on Harley. And then making a huge comical and cliche mess along the way. Batman's craziest caper to date. Will Ryder be returned to normal?

**(8)...Try-Try Again: Nurse Pain, with a lot of the others- **Harleen Quinzel gives it the old college try in escaping from Arkham. Even though she inevitably fails multiple times. Even after enlisting the help of many of Arkham's worst she just can't stay on the outside. What's their edge? Chef is hired as Arkham's temp. Security chief; as punishment for a reckless endangerment lawsuit several days before. Trent also is checking up on the old place, so Batman of course keeps her in as well. A tribute to Looney Toons slapstick with a Tom&Jerry like theme. A nice comical episode to tickle your funny bones.

**(9) Not in MY Town! (Part I): Riddler, Mad Hatter- **The two trick mayor Hill (Kevin Conroy) or more or less force him to put on the latest in their mind control technology. The command, to rid the city of the Bat Team no matter the cost. He also promises a cash prize for those who can bag the team. The city turns into chaos going over hill and dale to find them. The Bat team must work their tails of to discover why Mayor Hill would do such a thing especially after he feels very fondly of their work.

**(10) Not in MY Town! (Part II) Riddler, Mad Hatter, Dr. Hans Steinreich- **Night-Hacker learns through his connections that Noah Nygma is always seen after hours at an electronics shipping dispatch. Through further investigation, and maybe one or two fight scenes, the team determines that Hatter and Riddler are responsible for the mayor's sudden hatred of the team. They learn that Dr. Steinreich (John Glover) is the man who built the technology, now with the whole city against them, the team must band together to take down this evil team and save Mayor Hill.

**There it is, I plan on unveiling this sometime in early February, if you have any questions just have yourself a good day, yeah season 5 coming up next!  
**


	93. Over the Edge, Part I

**Villain(s): Chris Gordon, Scarecrow, Bane. Featuring: Harley Quinn, Mad Hatter, Riddler, the Ventriloquist and Sadieface.**

**Episode Counterpart: Over the Edge (1998)**

**Written By: Paul Dini**

**Directed By: Yuichiro Yano **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 45: Over the Edge**

First off, lemme warn you right now Chris is going to be very-very-very-VERY OFF-model in this episode, and Bane will be extremely off model for DJ but very much ON-model for Bane. So just a heads up.

Anyway Batman and Robin were sprinting down the stairs leading into the Bat-Cave. While the police followed them firing their guns-WHAAAAAAAT? You'll see.

"Trent Wayne! Stop where you are, now!" Chris yelled over a megaphone.

They turned a corner sprinting through the hallway separating the stairs and the main floor of the Bat-Cave. The police shooting destroyed the glass case preserving Geoff's old Robin costume.

One of the officers got smart and tossed a grenade, which he threw right in front of the fleeing duo.

"Gasp!" Batman quickly grabbed Robin and the two tumbled over the grenade before it exploded, what finesse.

The smoke cleared, Chris, Chef, and the other SWAT officers entered the Bat-Cave where they saw Batman and Robin sprint to the Batmobile.

"There they are!" Chris shouted. "Dempsey get that damned Stinger in here now!"

"Sir yes sir!" the officer got the launcher ready.

"Fire!" Chef ordered. -[peooosh!] the round exploded the Batmobile.

[Ka-Boom!]

Batman and Robin hit the deck. Then they were under fire again. The two then took cover behind the giant-ass penny.

"The hanger-now!" Robin started for the natural wrap around ramp towards the dock below to get to the Bat-Boat.

Batman pushed the penny to roll towards the advancing flat-foots.

"Holy-hell." An officer yelled

"Fall back!" Chef ordered

"Get-back-get back Now!"

Batman joined Robin. The two continued down the ramp, but as they turned a corner, there stood Courtney with her own squad of SWAT.

"Batman! Don't." she ordered. They turned around to see Chris's crew closing in. With no other option, Batman grabbed his ward and the two went on a dive a good 150' to the water below.

"We are gonna die."

"Cody for God's-sake, pessimism is the LAST thing we need right now!" He took out a Bat-hook, launching it, securing the hook to the nearest stalactite, which anchored their fall, and the two landed safely on the dock.

Chris approached the edge, and pointed his Dad's vintage Colt M1911 down at Batman.

"Oh no you don't Wayne, no vanishing act this time. Now to just pull this trigger uninterrupt-[thud-bang]" As Chris fired, he was tackled to the ground by Alfred.

The duo had just reached the Bat-Boat, when Chris's perfectly planned shot hit a yard or two off target. Which unfortunately hit Robin.

"THWAK!" he hit the deck.

"NOOOOOO! CODY!" Alfred who was unaware of the situation, looked down as he was apprehended.

"Keep going sir! Just keep going!" he nearly brought himself to tears.

"Knock it off Jeeves I'm warning ya!" Chef ordered.

"Noooo...Nooooo!" Batman sobbed. He grabbed Cody's lifeless body, and put him in the backseat, just as the other SWAT officers entered through the elevator.

Needless to say Batman was out of there like...well like a bat outta hell.

"Dammit!" he fumed "Down two in as many days! And it's all my fault!" he slammed his hand against the steering column, as the Bat-Boat exited the entrance, and he jutted into Gotham Bay.

Not soon before long, a police boat followed close on the shoulder.

"Pull your craft to an immediate halt! This is your only warning!" the captain ordered over a megaphone.

Batman gained speed. Then one of the officers took out another Stinger, and fired several rounds at the boat. Batman was smart to dodge every one.

"Come on come onnnnnnnnn!" it looked like his goose was cooked until the back of the police boat started to combust. Batman looked behind him, and he saw Nightwing on his Torpedo launching Jet ski.

"Whew, thank God for Geoff." Nightwing fired two more torpedos and the boat began to sink.

"Hey!"

"You lousy rotten little!" the officers shouted.

The two traveled to what seemed to be an abandoned sea cave on Long Island, not far off from the city. Batman laid Robin's dying body on a flat rock, and did his best to give him treatment.

"I didn't think it would end this way...for us...for Cody...or for Bridgette. I still don't know everything that happened, just rumors."

"I do." Batman was able to not cry for a moment. "I remember it as clearly as my parent's murder. Scarecrow had taken control of City Hall.

_[Flashback]_

_Trent's POV_

_While we polished off his goons the maniac ran. I guess Bridgette went after her...Their chase took them several stories to the roof, which need I remind you...is...oh God-22 stories high. I guess Bridgette must have lost him. _

_She must have went looking, Scarecrow put his coat over a TV antenna to confuse her...Once she realized it, he was right there, and he...he...hit her and she fell...22-FUCKIN' stories! Well I guess Chris and Chef were on the scene because she fell right on the front of the police cruiser._

_[crash-screeeeee]_

_They got out. _

"_Oh my God! Harvey, get an ambulance!"_

"_Right away Commissioner!"_

_Then...she dropped the bomb_

"_D-d-d-d-dad."_

"_What? Bridgette?" he took off her cowl. "BRIDGETTE!"_

"_D-d-d-d-"_

"_Honey, it's gonna be okay-it's gonna be...okay."_

"_Dad I...I...unh." flatline..._

"Then what?"

_Then I landed, Chris was taking it hard, on the inside...so was I. I got closer._

"_Chris...I-"_

"_How could you? I worked with you, I trusted you! And you never told me?"_

_I had nothing to say._

"_She was my daughter...my daughter." I got closer, then I heard the hammer click of Bullock's gun behind me_

"_That's as far as you go murderer." _..commercial...

"_Game's over freak. Lose the belt, lose the mask, NOW!" I was reluctant and backed away, so Chef put a round in the street._

"_I SAID NOW!" -[chink] "Gah! You little!"_

_Robin shot a Batarang, which threw Chef off balanced_

"_Batman over here!" I rushed up to the stairs of the building as several more patrol units arrived. Fortunately those idiots can't the broad side of a f*cking barn or else you'd be on your own right now. Cody raised the both of us up, and we were gone._

"_Alright listen up!" chef yelled "I want SWAT teams securing the perimeter asap! Snipers on the roofs of every skyscraper in Midtown! I want helicopters in the skies yesterday-I-"_

"_HARVEY! You and I both know we'll never catch him that way." Chris said putting a blanket over Bridgette's body_

"_T-then what are we supposed to do?"_

"_Something I should have done a long time ago."_

_Back at the house, it started to rain, I was in the study with Cody and Alfred, we were all a little grieving. Then the phone rang._

"_Yes."_

"_Wayne."_

"_Commissioner, what can I d-"_

"_Drop the act Wayne, 10 minutes on Bridgette's computer told me anything. Like a fool I let you run around on your private crusade in my city,a psychotic misfit, playing masked hero...and now I pay for it with Bridgette's life."_

"_Chris believe me, I know how you feel-"_

"_YOU CAN'T!"_

"_You know how I lost my parents, the only way I could hold onto my own sanity was to take matters into my own hands."_

"_Well, that makes us even then, you know what they say about revenge...well, I already got one grave dug...time to dig yours." _

_They were coming up the hill to the manor, one truck had this huge battering ram._

"_Merciful Heavens." Alfred gasped_

"_This is not good." Cody added. I opened up the clock. _

"_Quick, everyone in, now!" I took one last look at my parent's portrait. "I'm sorry." _

_Then the rest was up to them_

"_Hit it again! Let's go!"_

_[End Flashback]_

"Everything gone, just like that?" Nightwing asked

"Not everything, Cody's got a pulse, it's faint, but it's something, if I can get that bullet out of his neck and patch it up, he'll be fine as long as nothing else happens to the neck. Geoff check the boat for the field surgeon pack would you?"

"Sure." Nightwing searched inside the boat. "Uh, just this first aid kit...which is empty."

"Sh*t!"

"Look, Trent relax, I got everything we need in my new loft, I'll be in and out before the cops search the place."

"Good-wait, when the hell did you get a loft?" Batman asked applying pressure to the wound on Robin.

"Last week remember, I'd set up a cutaway but-"

"Yeah, not the time."

"So, what'll happen, to us?" he asked getting his gliding wing-pack ready.

"We'll hang here for a few days, keep them guessing, get our affairs in order, and let Cody get back on his feet."

"Okay, then what?"

"Alfred still has good connections with very high ranking government officials back in the old country, I'm sure they can help us out. Plus I got the money to take us anywhere, just gotta get it wired."

"Right, don't worry, I'll be back.-"

"Geoff, wait."

"Yeah?"

"Be careful, please...right now...you're all I got left."

"Don't worry, I'll be fine." Nightwing assured him, he left the cave.

Nightwing made it back to the city in one piece, he hopped over every rooftop at breakneck speed. He opened his skylight and jumped into the loft. It seemed dark and quiet. Until the lights came on, there stood Courtney, with a horde of policemen.

"Freeze!"

"Geoffrey Grayson, you have the right to remain silent!"

"Waved." he smiled, for the first time since before Bridgette's death. He leaped and hopped all over the loft , and finally jumped onto the skylight, where a police shopper was already waiting.

**To be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Wow! Now stuff's getting good!  
**


	94. Over the Edge, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

After not hearing back from Nightwing in hours, Batman went on the official Batman Iphone to watch any of the news.

"Maybe...maybe..." he said sure enough, Jack Ryder appeared on the news.

"_Geoff Grayson now known as the vigilante Nightwing, was arrested several hours ago outside his apartment in Lower Gotham. Though rigorously questioned by police, he still refuses to give the current location of Batman now known to be billionaire Trent Wayne, his adoptive father. Police Commissioner Chris Gordon is spearheading the manhunt-"_

"Grrrahhhhhhhh!" Angered, he threw the phone against the nearest rock, smashing it to pieces.

[Cough-Cough-Cough]-Trent." Robin said weakly

"C-Cody?"

"Yeah. I heard...the newscast...it's not good is it?"

"No Cody, it's not...they got Geoff, and he...he couldn't get the surgeon pack to help you...or whatever else we needed." Batman started to sob.

"Look, I can pull through-[cough-cough-cough]-we can...break in downtown, spring...Alfred and Nightwing at...[cough-cough]"

"Cody." he got closer. "It's over, Gordon feels betrayed...and maybe he was."

"So what...we can...start ov-[cough-cough]"

"Cody, look at you...you're coughing up blood, your wound is getting infected, you have barely any control over the left half of your body, you can't move on...it's over, I can't bare to see you like this."

"Cough-cough-cough! No!"

"Robin...there's just...no other way, I'll get you to a hospital."

"But then what?" Robin wheezed

"...I don't know."

"No Trent...I can...I ca-[COUGH-COUGH-HACK-HACK-Gasp...]"

"Cody...Cody...CODY!" . . .flatline. "No...sniffle-pulse."

Batman took Cody's body, and laid it on the lifeboat from inside the Bat Wing, and rested the boat on the edge of the water.

"Sniffle...Dear Lord in the Battle's I go through in life...I ask for a chance that's fair, a chance to do or die...a chance to do or dare...Bless Cody Drake in his ascension into Heaven, for he is not at fault." he pushed the boat into the current. "In your name I pray...Our father, who arn't in Heaven hollowed be thy name...thy kingdom come...thy will be done...on earth as it is in Heaven...give us this day our daily bread...and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us...lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil...sniffle...sniffle...Amen." Batman walked away from the scene. "Better save one more seat Lord...I might be home soon...Sniffle...Goodbye Cody...sniffle!"

I felt I had to make that scene a little sad, come on; every cartoon has a really really sad scene.

Anyway, before you guys start bawling, I'm getting a little sniffly myself, Mayor Hill stood in Chris's office, not giving the Commissioner the news he needed to hear.

"My heart goes out to you Chris really it does, if it were my son-"

"It wasn't." Chris interrupted

"Yes well, even so you have to realize how bad this makes us look. Yes Batman has done marvelous deeds for us in the past, but; he still operates outside the law. We've looked the other way before, but...I'm afraid that everyone knows your daughter was part of his team-" Hill explained

"What are you saying?"

"The DA's office wants a full investigation done asap and Internal Affairs is already all over this like New York on pizza."

"Dammit Hill! Get to the point!" Chris yelled slamming his fist

"They want your badge."

Bullock walked over to Montoya's desk nearby, she was watching One of those sad-sad talk shows.

"How's it looking for the old man?" Chef asked while eating some of his homemade soup.

"Not good, and get a load of this." she pointed to her computer screen.

"_Enemies of society of victims of a revenge crazed vigilante, you decide on Gotham Exposed." the host sat there alongside Harley Quinn, Mad Hatter, the Ventriloquist and Sadieface, and Riddler._

"_Oh, I have such horrible dreams!" Harley sobbed "Every night I see a horrible bat chasing me! His eyes blood red, I try to run but he always grabs me-wahhhh-wahhhh!" she sobbed, Hatter offered her his handkerchief. _

"_I agree, sometimes I see Batman, but...he's not really there." Riddler added_

"_I envision him holding poor Sadie over a lake filled with termites."_

"_He would do that too!" Sadieface sobbed_

"_The fact is, none of us would have turned to crime if it wasn't for Batman, we were just lost souls, crying out for affection, what we got was beating from a madman! Our civil rights were c;early violated!" Hatter explained "Now that we know the truth of the man behind the mask, we demand justice, we demand constitution-"_

"_We demand money!" Harley added suddenly not crying_

"_YEAH!"_

"_Quite so, with advice from legal council we have launched a billion dollar lawsuit against Trent Wayne." Then Joker's old lawyer appeared_

"_If the Bat's on a spree, Wayne, must pay the fee-" [shuts off]_

"Yuck, that's disgusting." Courtney quickly shut her computer off just as Hill and Chris left his office.

"I'm sorry Chris, but that's just the way it has to be." Hill said before walking away. The Commissioner turned to his subordinates, then walked towards the door.

"Commish?" Bullock asked

"I can either turn in my badge now, or simply wait for the Grand jury to roast me like a chicken! Either way, I lose Batman!" he grabbed his coat and walked out.

Chris later found himself at Arkham, where he was about to make a deadly deal with one of Gotham's newly founded worst.

"You and I have something in common, we both despise Batman, you help me, and I'll write your ticket out of here, they haven't fired me yet." The figure nodded

The Next day was Bridgette's funeral, the mass for her had ended and her casket was being taken from the church to be placed in the hearse. Chris had a bluetooh in to listen in on the Snipers in the surrounding buildings.

"_Commissioner, no sign of Batman yet, over."_

"Don't worry, he'll be here."

Batman was in fact on the roof across the street, looking down at the ceremony below.

"Bridgette." he sighed.

A sniper in a building perpendicular spotted him.

"Got him." he radioed.

"_Do it."_

[bang-bang-bang] they opened fire. Batman quickly sprawled to the roof. And dashed away. Chris grabbed his gun and headed for the nearest building.

"Commissioner wait!" Courtney yelled. But there was no stopping him.

"Stay on him!" Chris yelled to his snipers

Batman jumped to another roof below, and came to a door, but before he could open it, it was kicked open, pinning Batman against the nearest wall. Entered-

"Bane."

"A pleasure to see you again Mr. Wayne." he punched him back to the ground, then grabbed him by the cape. "You don't know how long I've waited for this." he threw Batman against another wall. "Though I was hoping for more of a fight." he grabbed Batman by the head, and tossed him like a ragdoll to the floor, then stood over him. "But what could I expect, from a killer of children." oh that's cold.

Batman took out a pepper spray pellet and ignited it in Bane's face.

"Gahhhhhhhh!" disoriented he launched himself at a smaller wall, knocking over pieces of concrete, which Batman collected into his cape and hit Bane with it repeatedly

[Whack-Zok-Smack!] Bane got a good punch on him to end that.

"A fight to the death?" Bane asked

"It makes no difference anymore." Batman threw a Bat-Bolo at him, then bull rushed Bane ff the side of the building.

"Ahhhhhhh!" he smacked into a neon sign on a roof across the street. Batman swung in to look at the wreckage. Unbeknownst to him, Bane was already behind him, he grabbed Batman putting him in a full nelson then throwing him on the roof of the building next store. Which was Police HQ. Bane jumped over to see his weak enemy. Then shined the Bat Signal right on Batman, where Chris was already waiting.

"There's no place to run Wayne."

"Good, well done Commissioner, I want to finish him slowly." Bane approached, then Chris fired by his feet.

"No chance! I want him alive! A life to rot away in Arkham, surrounded by all the monsters he's created!"

"Hmm, poetic...I actually rather like that!" Bane pondered

"Yeah...i don't!" Batman took out an explosive Batarang!

"Wha? What are you doing?" Gordon asked, now realizing his gun was empty.

"What have I got to lose Chris, I'm ruined, Bridgette's dead, Cody's dead, Alred and Geoff are gone, I got nothing left-"

"Cody? You mean Robin?" Bane asked

"What happened?" Chris asked

"YOU SHOT HIM YOU IDIOT! But it makes no difference now."

"Trent, no!"

Batman threw the batarang in the air, and it exploded above Bane, still disoriented Batman managed to get some combos on him, punching him right into the Bat Signal breaking it.

"Why you little!" he grabbed Batman, Chris got a fresh clip in his gun

"Stop Bane! Remember our deal?"

"After recent events, thought about it, didn't work for me!" he grabbed a chunk of Concrete, and nailed Chris with it.

"NO!" Chris fell over the side of the building grabbing on. Bane dropped Batman and approached the Commissioner.

"Hey, give your dear Bridgette a kiss for me-Gah!" Batman agitated beyond all belief, grabbed Bane. Detaching his venom cord, then attaching that to the filiment of the broken Bat-Signal, which shocked him to death.

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

Batman walked over to the side. And offered a hand.

"Please Chris, for Bridgette." reluctant, Chris gave Batman his hand.

BUT using every ounce of strength he had left Bane detached the Signal from the bipod, and roleld it at the two before hitting the ground, flatline. The Sigal hit the two, and they fell off of the building.

_No...Nooo...NOOOOOOOO!"_

. . .

"No! No! Noooo! No! Huh?" Bridgette awoke in the Bat-Cave, on a medical table, joined by Alfred, Cody, and Trent.

"Shes awake!"

"Thank Heavens."

She turned to Trent and gave him a hug

"Thank God your not dead!"

"Is that what you saw?" he asked

"Yes...You and my father, at each other's throats...over this." she held up her Batgirl costume.

"Your greatest fear come to life by the Scarecrow." Trent explained.

"So, what happened?"

"After you hit the antenna he hit you with the gas, and that's when all that happened, you've been out of it for 12 hours."

"Well I've had this fear for too long now...I have to tell him, for us."

"I understand."

At her apartment she made herself and Chris dinner.

"Boy, keep feeding me like that you'll have me looking like Harvey Bullock-"

"Dinner, wasn't the only reason I brought you here tonight. Dad, have a seat."

"Uh-oh..." they sat down. "So, what is it?"

"Look, it's a job I've taken on recently and-"

"Look Bridgette, your old enough to make your own decisions, you don't need me to approve or even acknowledge them, the point is that your happy, and whatever the job is, that is all I have to say on the subject."

"Oh Daddy." they embraced in a hug.

**The End**

**Alright guys, that is for sure one of our darkest episodes to date! Glad you liked it. We got Holiday Knights up next, so PLEASE REVIEW and go get yourself a good education, because that'll get you places =) **

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**Peter Oldring: **Robin

**Dan Petronijevic: **Nightwing

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Courtney Montoya

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Jeff Bennett: **Jack Ryder, police

**Cle Bennett: **Bane

**Billy West: **Talk show host, police

**Peter Oldring: **Scarecrow

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Harley Quinn, The Ventriloquist

**Brian Fraud: **The Mad Hatter

**Carter Hayden: **Riddler

**Lauren Lipson: **Sadieface

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hill, SWAT sniper leader

**Phil LaMarr:** Lawyer, additional voices


	95. Holiday Knights, Part I

**Villain(s): Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, The Mad Hatter, Joker**

**Episode Counterpart: Holiday Knights (1997)**

**Written By: Paul Dini**

**Directed By: Dan Riba**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 46: Holiday Knights**

DECEMBER 22nd

At the Gotham Hotel, Izzy sat on the window sill while Lindsey paced their less than quality motel room.

"Ugh, I'm depressed Red, here it is holiday time, and were hiding out in this dingy rattrap, no presents, no fun, no nothing. Sigh, couldn't we at least get a Christmas tree?"

"What!" Gasp, she said the C-word. Izzy got closer to her. "And give into the mad campaign of botanical genocide that grips this country every December?" Lindsey fell backwards on the bed.

"Aw Red, but Christmas trees are so bright, and fun, and pretty." and here comes the begging. "Oh please-please-please-mmm-pwsss-pwss-pwss-pwss." Izzy muffed her pleads with a pillow.

"Calm down Harl, I gotta little plan that will make this the happiest holiday ever."

We take you now to the manor of Veronica Vreeland, Trent's rich neighbor. The Crimefighting Playboy was having some champagne and chewing the fat. As well as playing some holiday tunes on the old guitar.

"So Trent, what is Gotham's wealthiest, most eligible bachelor doing for the holidays? Skiing in the Alps, sun bathing in the Bahamas, and more importantly, whose he taking?" Ha! Not you fool!

"Well actually I was just hoping for a quiet Christmas at home Veronica."

"Well, I wouldn't tell them that?"

"Whose them?" Trent turned around to see a lot of girls heading his way.

"Hey Trent."

"You're standing under the mistletoe. Idiot.

"Lemme at him!"

"I saw him first!"

"Good luck Trent." Veronica chuckled.

"N-now ladies. Come on." Trent backed up into the dark hallway, where he was turned around by a dark figure, and given a big old smooch.

"What the-mhmnmhmnmm." and the person was gone. A little confused Trent backed up into the crowd of girls.

Later Trent left the party while his female claque waved him goodbye.

"Bye Trent!"

"Buh-Bye!"

"See ya next year."

"Merry Christmas!" Trent smiled and walked towards his car, he passed a black limousine with it's back window down.

"Can we give you a ride Mr. Wayne?"

"No thanks, I have my own car."

"Oh but we insist."

"Gah-er-gah!" Trent found himself moonwalking back towards the limo, he gasped at what he saw.

"Seasons greetings Trenty-your two favorite party girls are looking for some Christmas fun." Ah if only you could see their creepy smiles. Harley and Ivy pulled Trent into the limo, and it drove away, the almost robotic limo driver drove the two away.

"Ivy zapped you with her special lipstick at the party." Harley said

"And now we have Gotham's handsomest, wealthiest bachelor, to treat us to a holiday shopping spree." The mind controlled driver drove the trio to Bergduff's Gotham's trendiest Jewish owned department store...of course they're open...Sigh, here come the angry emails. Just kidding.

The limo driver opened the door, and the two crazy girls, knocked him over, sprinting into the store

"Whoopee! Race you to the shoe department Red!" OHMIGOD SHOES!

"You're on!"

Trent found himself being forcibly dragged into the store,

"Grunt-grrrr-gah-grunt!"

Alright, in the episode we have this annoying 2 minute montage, of the two dumbasses trying on a ton of dumbass clothing. I mean come on, he's not made of money. Oh, there's like this one point, where they try on, and I guess buy these two stupid, eye-sore, 35 gallon psychedelic 1960's hats. All the while Trent signed the credit receipts, getting increasingly angry...they...are...dead.

Well later, they exited the elevator on one of the upper floors, the adjacent elevator was out of order and the door was wide open. Ivy exited wearing a fur coat and a diamond ring, the cheap date was licking a lollypop and holding a stuffed giraffe. Trent...well carried, everything else.

"Gasp! Look pianos!"

"Oh HELL NO! F*CK NO! I have had, just...about all...I can take!"

"Eh, I think the stuff is wearing off." Harley sneered

"Can't have that, give him another shot." Ivy handed Harley the lipstick tube.

"Righterooney! Gimme some sugar baby." Harley approached. Trent backed away and dropped their purchases.

"No! Not again!" he backed to the out of order elevator, and fell into the shaft! "Whoooooaaaaa!"

"Oh my God-Oh my God-Oh my God-Oh my God! We...we killed him." Harley choked up, then- "Oh well."

"We were gonna do it anyway."

"We have his credit cards, so what's to worry?" is signature dumbass? But as they walked away, a glove grabbed the floor above the door.

So the two craziness drove away in their limo. Unaware of a Bat flying down towards them.

"So, where to now beautiful?" Ivy asked, Harley was too busy looking out the back window

"Well anywhere's fine with me Red as long as it's away from that guy." Ivy too looked out the window

"YIIIIIIPE!"

Can you two spell SCREWED!

"Quick, into the toy store!" Ivy grabbed the wheel and drove it on a collision course with the toy store. This one was closed. Batman entered through the wrecked doors, and checked the driver's pulse, good. He turned on the Bat light and looked around. He quickly noticed a huge stacked tower of toys, freestanding in the middle of the room. Yeah, cause that's totally safe.

"I'll bet you've been a good little Batboy this year. Unfortunately, Harley an I are still on the naughty list!"

"Come on up and get your presents!"

They were at the very top of the tower. Batman climbed up to the very top. As he peaked his head to the top floor, there was Ivy sporting a brand new Cliff Keen boxing glove...If the CK company even makes those.

"Merry Christmas sucker!" -[WHACK]

"Unh, dammit-[thud]!" yeah should have seen that coming. Batman fell a few feet below, where Harley was waiting for him with her giant ass hammer-mallet-thingy.

"And Happy New Year chump!" [ZOK]

"Oh come on-[THUD]" He hit the floor into a pile of toys. Harley and Ivy stepped down.

"Aw gee Harley, you broke our new toy." the duo skipped away

"Bye-bye Batzy!"

Batman stood up, and launched a bat hook at the huge Christmas tree, he pulld on the rope and it fell, aimed right for the two screwed femme fatals.

"Huh-YIPE!" Yes, stand there and hold each other-no-no don't jump out of the way or anything-[SMASH]

Batman walked up to the two trapped dumbasses, shaking his angry, slightly poorer head...but they'll never know that

"Well, here's your stupid tree! You happy!" Jeez Ivy it's not her fault

"Yeah." Harley smiled as an ornament hit her in the head.

. . .

DECEMBER 24th

Christmas Eve, the second suicide shopping day, right behind Black Friday. At Mayfield's Gotham's second foremost Jewish owned, and open, department store. You do realize I'm kidding right? Right.

Anyway Bridgette Gordon was shopping for her Dad, the pickiest of all shoppers. So she picked him out a bottle of Suck-This Brand Cologne.

"Oh it's perfect Dad will love it."

"Waaaaaaaaaah!" Wahhhh! I'm sad about stuff, wahhhhhhhhh!

"I've heard of kids being afraid of Santa Claus, but, they've been crying all day." the clerk said.

Sure enough, it was Chef and Courtney, under cover. Yup, Chef's a mall Santa. I FOUND OUT THE HARD WAY WHEN I WAS FOUR! SERIOUSLY!

"Waaaaaaaaah!"

"Ah ya big cry-baby-[burp]-NEXT!" Chef yelled scaring his 56th consecutive child.

"I don't believe it." Bridgette chuckled

"You know, you could be a little more jolly Saint Nick." Courtney whispered, she was dressed as an elf.

"Gimme a break Montoya, this is the lamest freakin stakeout I've ever been on."

"Hey at least you get that warm suit, I'm freezing my ass off in this thing."

"Oh yeah, you wanna switch?"

"NOOOOO!" was the unified response from there to Berlin.

"Yeah-yeah-yeah, eat my shorts!" Chef groused, taking a piece of Beef Jerky from a near by bag "Look, we better find some lead about these invisible shop lifters soon or else-[oof]" another kid sat on Chef's lap.

"Your not the real santy claus!"

"Sure I am, wanna see my gun-[whack]-ow!"

Bridgette shook her head, and looked around, for said shop lifters. Back to Chef, who was eating, while listening to a little girl.

"My name is Mary McSweeney Santa, can you bring my father home for Christmas?"

"Gee kid, I dunno, where is your pop? Iraq, Afghanistan, Seal Team Six...Hebrew National?"

"I prison."

"Huh? You mean your Dad's Maddog-Uh, I mean, Mike McSweeney?"

"Yes."

"Poor kid, I sent her old man up the river three months ago." Chef whispered "Uh, listen kid, it's like this, I-I wanna help you our, but uh, sometimes, there's just some things even Santa just can't make come true. Ah, here kid, by yourself something nice." he handed her a 20 spot.

"Wow thanks Santa." she gave him a hug...and in Gotham they say, Harvey 'Chef' Bullock's tiny heart, grew three sizes that day. "Can I buy something for my daddy too?"

"As long as it ain't a hacksaw, file, gun, knife, shank, shiv, cake, soap, lighter fluid, poison, acid, bleach, WD 40, or plastic explosives, why not?" she leaped off, and ran to spend that money.

"Well, there goes my doughnut fund-NEXT!"

Bridgette noticed a small cockney looking boy swipe a necklace from a display table.

"Wait a minute...Hold it right there young man-[zok]-ow!" he punched her, and ran off.

**To be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	96. Holiday Knights, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

That kid wasn't the only one, three other children, were spotted shoplifting, and were being chased by several adults.

"Stop!"

"Hey Kid!"

"Get back here!"

Chef was listening to this one kid, who wanted so many things, and was so boring, he was falling asleep.

"Zzzzzzzzzz!"

"And a...bag of marbles...and a...speedboat...and a...Iphone...And a...-" Montoya got a call over her ear piece.

_Attention undercover agents, juvenile suspects spotted throughout the store, all have been observed shoplifting."_

"Wake up Chef, were on!"

"Zzzz-huh, oh."

"Waaah!" he got up and the kid fell right off of him.

The two...oh let's call them detectives, and the other chasers corned the children in an intersecton of the store, did anyone notice the 10/6 pence cards behind their ears, no? Just me.

Suddenly Mad Hatter fell from the vents

"Ha, you foo-whoooooooooa! [thud] I'm okay, I'm okay everyone-you fools! You've fallen into my trap!"

"Hold it freak or we'll drill ya!" Chef ordered

"Oh, your scaring me tubby!"

"I'M NOT THAT FAT! Ah screw it, let's just ice this freak Montoya!"

"Ah, but Bullock, would you fire and risk hitting these poor children."

"Well...no."

"What a dick!" Courtney fumed

"Ha-ha-ha! And that's not all my fair detectives! For I have this!" he pressed a button on his backpack which transformed into a fighting robot, and placed Harold in the cockpit.

"Oh-"

"Crap."

"Nice huh, a little Christmas gift from my old friend Ferris Boyle."

"I'm really starting to hate that guy." Courtney sighed

"Me too."

"So, whose up for a little shop&dash? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

"Don't bet on it Hatter!" Batgirl yelled. She turned the corner from an isle and sprinted towards the psycho.

"Ah, yes, Batgirl; well let's make this quick, minions, attack!" His children leaped forward, Batgirl did some very graceful, knocking the cards from behind their ears-moves.

"HA!"

"Huh?"

"What happened?"

"Where am I?"

"Why am I dressed like a cockney?"

"No! Oh come on!" what?

"Ha, what do you gotta say to that?" Batgirl asked

"Oh nothing really, just this-[smash]"

"Oh boy!" she leaped out of the way of the robotic arms, and crashed out the nearest window and the two fell onto the ice rink below.

"RUN, clear the area now!" she yelled. Hatter and his robot emerged from the pond, just as the two morons arrived. They shot at the robot.

"Fire!" Chef ordered

[bang-bang-bang-bang]

"Don't waste your ammo on him! Shoot the santa!" Batgirl ordered

"You wouldn't."

"Not you dope, she means that Santa!" Montoya pointed to the electronic Santa sleigh suspended by lights above.

"Ohhhhhhhhhh."

[bang-bang-bang-bang] it fell, and the electric shock reacted with the suit, causing Hatter to be shocked.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" it fell apart.

Later, Chef and Montoya were examining the wreckage along with CSI.

"Well so much for frosty the lawn cigar, let's go get some Joe."

"Not so fast Harv, we still have to find all the stolen evidence which is now inside the wreckage."

"You mean-"

"Yup, roll up your sleeves Chefy."

"Ugh, Ho-Ho-Friggin'-Ho."

. . .

DECEMBER 31st

Batman and Robin sat in Chris Gordon's office listening to a broadcast Joker sent in during a football game.

"_Fading back, Altieri is looking for an opening-[static]"_

"_Hi-ho couch potatoes! I'm interrupting the toilet bowl to bring you a special new year's revolution broadcast-ahem-I, your loving uncle Joker do solemnly vow not to kill anyone for a whole year. Which means I'm going to have to work extra hard to bump off a few more of you by the the end of tonight-Aha-ha-ha-ha-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"_

"Hysterical." Robin rolled his eyes

"_As to who-how-and when, let's make that a little game. A countdown of victims that will end at midnight, unless our dear Dark Knight Stops me first-Tah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-[end transmission]"_

"Joker broadcasted that message at noon, since then only one victim has shown up." Chris handed Batman the file, with the picture of a dead man with a joker grin, and a party blower in his mouth. "Dr. Jon Erickson, pioneer of sound engineering at Gothcorp."

"Says here he was working on some new weapon." Robin said

"Yes, a sonic bomb if you will, guaranteed to kill anyone within earshot, unless; they're wearing these special mufflers." Chris added holding a pair up

"Joker's got the bomb and plans to use it tonight at midnight. He promised a countdown of victims, and there's no bigger countdown on New Year's Eve, than in Gotham City Square." Batman explained

Joker was at the square, which was filled with people, he stood on the stage, and watched his henchmen get everything together, they each had mufflers.

"Everything in place?" Joker asked

"Were all good boss, we've hooked up the device to the bell just like you said."

"At midnight tonight, everyone's going to get a really bad earache." the other henchman said

"I really have to congratulate myself on this one, nearly midnight, and no Batman to be found. Of course he has that nasty little habit of showing up when least wanted. So, I wisely stocked up on part favors." Joker opened several boxes containing masks of his face, and he threw them into the crowd.

Batman and Robin stood on a nearby building, ready to fast. Rope down.

"You sure he'll be here?"

"With murder on this scale Robin, Joker will want to be close by to admire his work. Even in this crowd, he'll stick out like a sore thumb." The two repelled to the street, emerging from the nearby ally they noticed everyone with the Joker facemask.

"You were saying."

"Okay, I've been wrong before. But not only has he found the perfect hiding place, he's fixed it so all his victims will die with a smile." Well you could just look for the guy in the purple jacket...morons.

Batman got out the Batnoculars and saw Joker and his goons on stage, Joker was playing the piano...badly.

"There, those clowns are wearing mufflers." he tossed a Batarang at who he thought was Joker, which knocked off the mufflers, and him into the piano!

"OW! What the-Gasp!" he saw the two swing onto the stage. The two derailed his two Henchmen upon swinging in.

Batman didn't notice a third henchman come up from behind to give him a big old bear hug. Robin knocked down the one, but the other was far too strong.

Batman did a reverse headbutt, then got the guy in a Peterson, and knocked him over, while Robin...uh...well, held his own.

Joker used a Champagne bottle to hit over Batman's head.

CLONG!

"Gasp! Batman!" Robin leaped to save his superior, but got his cape grabbed by the other henchman. "GaH!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Poor Bats, that champagne went right to your head, you'll miss the big countdown!" Joker pointed to the rising bell, getting closer and closer to the top and to hitting the bomb as it got closer to midnight.

Batman punched Joker in the face, and used the chanpagne to corrupt the signal in the box controlling the bomb, rendering it useless. The clock struck midnight., the bell exploded due to the bomb corruption, and fell to the earth. Joker, agitated took out his gun, and took a shot at Batman's right arm

[bang]

"AH!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-huh? Oh no-[BANG]" the bell fell right on top of Joker.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Robin managed to strike the guy's foot, and run to his bosses need.

"Ouch." was all Joker muttered.

. . .

JANUARY 1st 1:00 am

At Joe's Tavern Chris stepped in, twas only he, Joe, and three drunk guys singing some karaoke.

"Alright you three, get out were closed." Joe rushed them out.

"Aw, but we wanted to sing!"

"So start practicing for Saint Patty's day, move it!" he hurried them out, and poured Chris a cup of coffee.

"Happy New Year Commish'. Uh, your friend got a little banged up tonight, doubt he'll show."

"And miss our annual meeting, perish the thought, in fact, if I miss my guess, that's him now. " Batman entered through the back, and sat at Chris's table.

"How's the arm?"

"Flesh wound, and certainly better than the Jokers." Batman sipped his coffee.

"Well, here's to suvival, hopefully we'll be doing this next year."

"Here-here-[cheers]"

"Alright, now Joe if I can get one of your famous cheeseteaks to go, I'll be ready to call it a night-huh?" Batman had already left, and had the money on the table.

"One of these days I am going to beat him to the check." Chris said, leaving the restaurant.

**The End!**

**Alright guys, tis the season for a holiday special! We got an original villain up next, And still much more to come, PLEASE REVIEW and stay tuned. And oh yes, SEASON 8, will be all viewer submitted ideas, so pick some villains, get those creative juices and endorphins a-flowing cause I need YOU to help me write season 8!  
**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Robin

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Courtney Montoya:

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Katie Crown: **Poison Ivy

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Harley Quinn

**Drew Nelson: **Joker

**Brian Fraud: **Mad Hatter

**Jennifer Hale: **Veronica Vreeland, various

**Rachel MacFarlane: **Mary McSweeney, children

**Corey Burton: **Uniformed Cop, Joe

**Billy West: **Henchman #1, various

**Rob Paulsen: **children, Henchman #2

**Tara Strong: **a child

**Tress MacNeille: **store clerk, child

**David Kaufman: **various children

**Dee Bradley Baker:** various children


	97. I, Robot, Part I

**Villain(s): Bionica (Intro) Two-Face**

**Episode Archive: ORIGINAL!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Alan Burnett**

**Teleplay By: Randy Rogel&Kevin Altieri**

**Art Direction: Chris Tucker**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 47: I, Robot**

At his so called Lair, Two-Face and his henchmen, mostly his henchmen, were building his latest weapon that has some connection with duality.

"Alright boss that should do it." his lead guy said

"Good, so the Dual ray blaster is finally complete?"

"Yup, everything should work just fine."

"Good, now I can bring the city to it's knees, and in half the time." Two-Face walked to the controls, and the gun was pointed through a turret opening, overlooking the city (Because it's on the hill)

"What are ya gonna blow up first boss?" a henchman asked

"I dunno Lunk...City Hall has a lot of potential, but then again, so does The Gotham Empire State building." he took out his coin "Only one way to find out.-[plink]-City Hall it is." He aimed the double blasters down at City Hall. "And here...we...GO! [Blaaaaaaa-wer-wer-wer-wer...]" it stalled. "Seriously!" Seriously.

"What happened boss?"

"I don't know! YOU IDIOTS ASSEMBLED THE DAMN THING!"

"Uh, well-uh-"

"Stow it! Lunk, Bates, see what's wrong with the freaking thing."

"Yes sir!" The two idiots looked inside the main chaises where it was smoking.

"Cough-cough-cough, well-cough-cough, here's your-cough, problem; there's no plasma stabilizer."

"What! UGGGGH! Figures this would happen from an add you find in Villain's Monthly!" Two-Face threw the issue right at his henchmen.

"Hey, Heather Al Ghul, made this month's front cover."

"Ooh, and the centerfold-"

"Knock it off you pinheads, the 4 of you listen up!" his henchmen stood in a line. "We need to find that plasma stabilizer-TODAY!"

"Today?" came four responses

"Today, today as in NOW! Not after dinner, not after Two-and-a-Half Men, not after 49 rounds of Team Deathmatch, NOW!"

"Well, where are we going to get one boss?"

"Simple, the only place in town with a working plasma Stabilizer is Gotham Neuroworks, and that gentlemen, is where were headed."

Anyway, Twas at that same time somewhere in Gotham, where Lucius Fox and Trent Wayne were off to Gotham Neuroworks to make a business deal.

"Boy this deal with GN could do some real good with surgeon tools across the globe." Lucius commented

"I know, whoud'a thought our little slice of the Fortune 500 world would be picked to make this deal with one of the world's foremost medical suppliers. Must be my ability to be extra silky smooth on the phone." No dumbass cause I wrote it that's why.

"That's why you're the boss Mr. Wayne." Lucius nodded "So, what's this Bridgette's telling me?"

"Bout what?"

"That a certain Robin is doing some, as the Italians say, bada-beep, bada-boop with miss Rhinehart?"

"Oh that, well turns out the have been dating behind my back, and Geoff dropped the bomb at Breakfast, yesterday."

Meanwhile at Arkham Asylum, where it was just passed lights out, Sara was awoken by that certain Robin.

"Psst...Sara...Sara...WAKE UP!"

"Huh-what?"

"Hey snuggly-poo." Ah aren't pet names stupid?

"Gasp, Cody." she whispered. She ran to her bars, and tried to give him an I-love-you-so-much-hug. "What are you doing here?"

"I am here to cash in that date I owe you."

"Gasp, really?" she swooned

"Yessim' I am going to take you out on the night of your life, then bring you back, and no one's the wiser. As far as Trent and the others know, I'm patrolling."

"He won't find out?"

"He's got some big business deal across town, he'll never know."

"Oh, my little rebel."

Back to Trent and Lucius, here's some good back-and-forth

"So what did you say?"

. . .

"He said: Cody, I forbid you to-"

. . .

"Date that psychopath! Need I remind you she tried to kill your brother."

. . .

"So I disobeyed him."

. . .

"I think he totally respected my decision."

. . .

"I totally did not respect his decision."

. . .

"He probably forgot all about her."

. . .

"I could never forget all about you."

. . .

"So, I think he'll learn a valuable lesson from this."

. . .

"I'm not sure if I'm supposed to learn a valuable lesson from this Sara, but who cares, tonight's our night, ain't no way anyone is gonna ruin it." Oh, I'll be the judge of that.

Anyway back to Trent and Lucius.

"Well, I'm sure Cody will make the right decision, at any rate were here." they parked the car. "Oh yes, shouldn't you be patrolling?"

"Nah, I got three perfectly...eh-semi-sorta-kinda-competent eager young subordinates to do that for me this evening."

"Right, alright, got your game face?" Lucius asked

"When don't I?"

"Alright Trent, let's roll."

And now back to Arkham.

"Oh Cody your so poetic, now come on before we waste all night." Sara warned

"Right-right." he starred at Sara wearing the tight stripped uniform "\

"What?"

"Can you please where that before we do it."

"Wha?" FREEZE

Need a moment? Chew it over with Twix.

"Uh...uh...sh*t I'm outta Twix! Uh what I meant to say was, look...the master cell key." Robin held it up

"Oh, where'd you get it?"

"Dr. Bartholomew, you know he talks in his sleep?"

"No I did not."

"Well, learn something new everyday, now come on my dear." he swiped the card and the cell door opened. He grabbed his girl in his arms. "Let's hit it."

"Ooh, a gentleman."

The two went off in the Batmobile.

And back to Trent and Lucius, who were being escorted to the office of-

"Mr. Wayne, Mr. Fox, let me introduce you to our head Robotics and Neuro technician, the pride of this company, Dr. Rachel Hollander."

"Trent, Lucius, nice to finally meet you both." the long haired brunette said in a cheery voice.

"The pleasure is all ours Doctor." Trent added game face on!

"Oh and this is my assistant, Erin Hayward."

"Nice to meet you both, but as I'm sure the cheery introductions were something you did not come for, so let's get down to business."

"Ooh, cool under pressure, I like it." Lucius whispered.

"I agree, this could be tougher then I thought."

"Gentlemen may I direct your attention to the plasma stabilizer, with it, you simply connect this cord to this conventional surgery laser, and viola, a nice clean, non deadly, cut every time."

the two clapped.

Unbeknownst to them, Two-Face and his goons were already in the vents.

"And I bet they can cut through a building as well, heh-heh-heh-heh."

...commercial...

"So fellas, do we have a deal?" Erin asked

"I'm not quite sold on this just yet, what else have you been working on?" Trent asked

"Hey, boss; you gonna flip on this or what?" one of Two-Face's goons whispered

"After already making the flip to order the damn gun, I'm not doing it, now come on, let's-[CRASH]-GOOO!" they fell through the vents.

"Gasp! Two-Face!" Rachel gasped

"That's right lady, now make this easy on yourself, and fork over the plasma stabilizer thingy."

"Are you kidding! This is the only working model from here to Stockholm! If you think I'm just going to hand it over to you, your out of your freakin mind!" Rachel yelled

"Two things, one: I am out of my mind, and two: you really should not have said that-[plink]-...bad heads, perfect." he tossed a small acid bomb at her, Rachel turned half her body away before it exploded, and blew her over her desk.

"[Blam]-AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"RACHEL!" Erin ran to her aid.

"Good, now for-" he turned around to see only Lucius standing there. "Wait, where the hells-[crash]-

SLOW MOTION! Batman leaped in and smashed Two-Face to the floor.

"Gah! Batman! Well don't just stand there you idiots, get him!"

His henchmen sprung into action, only for Batman to spring them out of the way. Then Lucius got smart and grabbed a canister from his pocket.

"Batman cover your eyes quick." he tossed the canister down. Like a flashbang, it exploded, but flashed and banged 9 times

"AH!"

"Gah!"

"It burns!"

"I call it, the 9-Bang."

"Nice." Batman smiled. [Whack]

Two-Face had hit Batman over the head with the plasma stabilizer.

"Next person who pulls that stunt again, will get far worse I can guarantee you that, now gentlemen, ladies, I wish you a fond farewell."

"E-E-E-Erin?" Rachel whispered faintly

"It's okay Rach, I gotcha, you're gonna be okay, I know what to do, you're gonna be okay, you're gonna be okay." she pressed a button below the desk, and the two disappeared below the floor.

"I trust Dr. Hollander over there has...double, her work cut out for her now, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." he threw a smoke pellet. And disappeared along with his goons

"DAMMIT!" Batman fumed

"Why would Two-Face want a plasma stabilizer?"

"I don't know, and where's...Dr. Hollander...Dr. Hayward?"

"They're gone?"

"Great, there's TWO mishaps in one evening."

Better make that three...Or soon to be three

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	98. I, Robot, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Gordon and his men arrived at the scene to assess the damage.

"Mhmm...mhmm...uh-huh, yup. There was a break in alright."

"Is he kidding?" Lucius whispered to Batman

"Unfortunately, no."

"So, Batman; you sure there was no sign of Dr. Hollander and Dr. Hayward after her accident?"

"No Chris, they disappeared behind that desk over there."

"Trap door?" the commissioner pondered

"Maybe, they couldn't have simply disappeared.

"Maybe..." Batman searched behind the desk.

"Oh yes, what ever happened to Trent, wasn't he with you Mr. Fox?" Chris asked

"He got dinged up a little bit in the skirmish, he's uh, with the medic out front." Batman nodded and gave a quick smirk.

"Right, find anything old friend?" Chris asked

"Uh, no...wait...got it." Batman found the switch. Chris and the detective disappeared below the floor.

"What the...Batman, Commissioner?" Lucius and the other officers looked stunned.

"Fan out and search the facility from top to bottom!" Chef ordered.

"Yes sir!" he and the other officers left the office room, leaving Lucius to make an important phone call.

Elsewhere, Cody and Sara were out on a romantic dinner, because Cody's allowance allows him to do such stuff like that.

"Gosh Cody, you certainly know how to treat a lady."

"Thank you."

"I mean really! The nicest restaurant in town, live music playing just for us-which is getting a little annoying, I wanna kill them now-"

"Ahem..." Cody crossed his arms and gave her the: Don't-even-think-about-it look.

"Heh-heh sorry, I am legally insane remember that."

"Oh, I know."

"But still though, the music, the nicest restaurant in town, beluga caviar, lobster, The best table at the best restaurant in town, even this dress."

"That my dear is the beauty of being the ward to the 6th richest man in the world."

"Trent won't mind?"

"With his money? He won't notice a few hundred-k missing."

"Well you might just be getting lucky tonight." YEAH BUDDY "And you're way sweeter than Geoff, his idea of a good date is chili dogs and Call of Duty." Sara groaned

"Well I'm not Geoff. For one thing, you'll find yourself not killing me on the roof of the Diamond Exchange."

"Oh I hope I never have to endure that again, I'm still picking glass shards out of my hips."

_[viiiiiiiiiiiiiiibrate]_

"My phone..." Cody opened his Droid. "Hello?"

"_Cody? Lucius Fox. I have no time to explain, but you have to get to Gotham Neuroworks on the double."_

"Ugh, seriously?"

"_Seriously."_

"Come on Lucius I'm busy."

"_Alright, with what?"_

"Uh..." Cody looked at Sara who was slowly shaking her head. "Uh...something." she nodded

"_Something? Uh-huh, well now you're doing something else. Wheels up and get to GN asap."_

"Aw can't you call Geoff, or Bridgette...or SOMEONE THAT IS NOT ME!""What the hell are you doing that is so damn important?" Cody asked

"_Look, Trent and Commissioner Gordon are in a predicament right now, Two-Face is involved."_

"Ugggggh...Look Lucius, please try and find Bridge or Geoff, or...SOMEONE!"

"_Okay, I'll try, just...keep doing something son."_

"I will Lucius."

"_Oh and Cody, if I was you, I would cut that date of yours and sever my ties with Ms. Rhinehart immediately before Trent tears you limb from limb, goodnight." [end transmission]_

"Gulp."

"He knows!"

"I-I-I-" Cody stammered

"You gotta get me back to Arkham, and quick!"

"No kidding-Garkon! Check please." Cody yelled

"Uh, monseiour Drake it is pronounced Gar-con-"

"I don't care! Keep the change!" Cody tossed a dozen C-notes on the table.

"But of course monseiour Drake have a fantastic evening."

"Yeah, I won't." Cody groaned.

Anyway, Two-Face and his goons had just gotten back to the facility.

"What are we doing back here boss?"

"Ugh, I forgot the adapter to the PS, I won't be long gentlemen, just sit tight." he exited the car, and sneaked back to the facility.

"So, what should we do first, simon says?"

"Ugh, Lunk why don't you just shut up and wait for the bo-"

"Ahem." they say Chef on the outside of the car, with a small swarm of cops.

"Aw sh*t."

"Returning to the scene of the crime eh?" Chef asked "Book em, and find Freak-Face, I'm certain he's back here, somewhere's."

And now for the secret facility below the facility, deep into the catacombs, Rachel found herself on an operating table with a ton of machines operating on the charred half of her body.

"It's alright Rachel, I'll fix you right up." Dr. Hayward assured her.

"Unh...Al-Alejandro...D-D-Dent..."

"It's alright, the police are handling it, and you're gonna be okay."

"Two-Face...he...tried to..."

"Rach it's going to be alright, just try to rela-"

"Tried to kill ME!" she emerged from the table just as the operation completed.

"Uh, well; at least the operation was a success."

"Success, Erin what are you-Gasp!" she saw her right arm was completely robotic, she was half a cyborg. "What did you do to me?"

"Oh, well sorry I tried to save your life and all." Erin scoffed

Rachel got a good look at herself in the nearest mirror, her body was for sure, half human, half robot. He robotic half consisted of a metal head, bionic mouth, and a red eye. With a metal torso, leg and arm, which can morph into a chain gun, lighter, knife, or simply a hand. The left half of her body was completely intact, and looked as normal as it could be.

"You made me into a robot?"

"Ah-half a robot."

"Whatever, how am I supposed to-[alarm]-intruders?"

"Yeah." Erin quickly scoped out the cameras, security and the police were going crazy. "Well-well, he's back for more." Erin sneered

"Who? Whose back?"

"Dent."

"Grrrrr! I'll kill him! Since he's already cut in half, it's the only logical way to repay the favor."

"Wait, Rach, think about what your-"

"I know what I'm doing, just see to it that old Al finds his way down here, I'll take care of the rest. I'm certain he's back for the adapter so he can work the Plasma Stabilizer, well he can't have it! Cause I do." Rachel felt in her pocket for it.

"Rachel-"

"Oh yes, don't call me Rachel anymore Erin, it's...Bionica now..."

"You mean, like the Lego Toy?"

"No, like a robot...a half, robot."

she left the room. Two-Face was scouring the ducts for what he searched for but came up

"Nada, there is absolutely nothing around-what the!" the air suddenly sucked him forward, and through a trap door which would take him downstairs.

Batman and Chris looked throughout the catacombs below the facility to see if they could find anything.

"Well, we've searched for over an hour, but there just seems to be no sign of Dr. Hollander or Dr. Hayward anywhere." Chris fumed

"Relax Chris if we keep looking were bound to find-"

"What?"

"Here that?"

"Here that what?"

"It sounds like...robot legs moving."

"Well this is part robotics facility." Chris added

"Yeah but...wait a second." who should turn the corner but.

"So, it had to be you, didn't it Batman!"

"Dude you do not make a lot of friends." Chris patted him on the back.

"Tell me about it-look Dr. Hollander, right? I know what Two-

"SHUT-IT Bat Boy! And it ain't Rachel Hollander anymore!" her hand morphed into the chain gun "It's Bionica!"

"Chris-"

"Duck?"

"Took the words right out of my mouth-NOW DUCK!"

And now Back to Cody who was taking the Batmobile through all kinds of traffic while trying to change back into the Robin costume.

"So...you've uh...got a learners permit?" Sara asked

"Just got it, why?"

"Just wondering." she sighed crunching down back in her seat.

And back to the scene in the basement.

"Why are you pissed at us!" Batman yelled from cover, tossing a Batarang at the robotic arm

"The "us" you're referring to is YOU correct?" Bionica asked

"Sigh, why do I always piss people off-okay, what did I do?"

"You could have stopped Two-Face from doing this to me! That's your job-you were supposed to help me! But you didn't...NOW LOOK AT ME!"

"Al..." she said the same exact thing Alejandro said to him in his dream. "I didn't save her." Chris saw she got a bead on Batman, and he just sat there.

"Holy-LOOK OUT BATMAN!" the commissioner pushed him out of the way just in time

"Whew, thanks."

"Sure but what the hell were you doing-"

"Ergh-let me go...ergh! Let me GO!"

"Shut-up bitch, and show me where that adapter is now!" Two-Face entered holding Erin, and a gun,

"Erin! Gasp...Two-Face." Bionica sneered

"Ooh, yikes, was this my doing?" Two-Face chuckled "Not bad, not bad at all. Half robot...half human...i couldn't write a better story than this." yeah, but I can.

"You little-"

"Ah-ah, just tell me where the adapter is, and I'll be on my way."

"Or, how bout I lite you up! And be on MY way." she pointed her flame thrower at the psycho.

"Well, then I guess you'll be charring up your co-worker as well."

"Please, Rach, think about what you're doing."

"Hmm-hmm, sorry Erin my dear, but sometimes you have to break a few eggs to make an omlet, you understand, right?"

"You...no! I-I created you!"

"Funny how that works huh? You should have just let me to die, sorry, and as for you Al-"

"Gulp."

"As the Italians say, arriverdercci-[chink-zaaaaaaaap]"

"Huh?" a Batarang got lodged into the arm causing it to go haywire.

"No! You Fool! It's short circuiting, I-I can't take it-Ah! Curse you Batmannnnnnnnn-[boof]" she was blown by a cloud of smoke to the other end of the room knocked out. Chris quickly apprehended Two-Face.

"Remember the good old days Chris?"

"Yeah, it was back when my old man was Commissioner."

"...I miss those days."

And Back to Arkham, where Robin was in the process of bringing Sara through her cell block.

"Oh crap, they're searching my cell, looking for me."

"Don't worry baby I got this." this is from an older Icarly Sketch, but it was pretty funny so that's why it's going here today.

"Now you just come with me right now young lady!" the guards took notice.

"Uh, hey Robin, you found her-"

"Yes I did, now where were YOU when she was breaking out?"

"Well."

"We were-"

"Uh-huh, I'm afraid I'm going to have to speak to Mr. Fufferman about this."

"Wait, whose Mr-"

"Man, what else don't you know!"

"But-"

"You are dismissed! Wait!"

"What?"

"I'll need your keycard."

"Why-"

"For Mr. Fufferman!" the guards ran away

"Nice touch."

"Thanks. Alright, in you go." he closed her cell door. "And hey, let's do this again sometime."

"Hell yeah. See ya Codypie."

"Love you two Saralicious." they shared a cheesy kiss, and Robin walked away.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." Sara chuckled twirling around the keycard on a string "Oh Cody, I love you oh so much, but I can't just wait for the next date just to-have a little fun-ha-ha-ha-ha-Aha-ha-ha-ha-AHA-HA-HA-HA!"

**The End**

**Alright you cool cats, weeeee, got a little Poison Ivy up next, then our little crossover with Inspector Gadget. So PLEASE REVIEW, and remember keep those ideas for Season 8 a-coming, cause I need four more!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Robin

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**Cle Bennett:** Chef Bullock

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Morgan Freeman: **Lucius Fox

**Tara Strong: **Dr, Rachel Hollander

**Marco Grazzini: **Two-Face

**Mae Whitman: **The Exterminator

**Tom Kenny: **French Waiter, Arkham Guard, Henchmen

**Tress MacNeille: **Dr. Erin Hayward

**Maurice LaMarche: **Henchman

**Grey DeLisle: **Director of GN

**Rob Paulsen: **Arkham guard, Henchman

**Mark Hamill: **Henchman, additional voices


	99. Sabotage! Part I

**Villain: Poison Ivy**

**Episode Archive: ORIGINAL!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Tom Ruegger**

**Teleplay By: Jean MacCurdy&Michael Reaves**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami&Chris Tucker**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 48: Sabotage!**

The Westbrook Oil Company, Gotham's premier oil supplier, and one of the top 20 in the world (not really). Twas an ordinary day, inside CEO Garrett Westbrook III office. His subordinate stepped inside.

"Mr. Westbrook?"

"Darius old boy, good day to be selling some fuel to the good wage slaving consumers of this town, if I do say so myself."

"Yeah uh, about that."

"What, what do you mean, about that?" Garrett asked.

"You know who took out three more of our derricks upstate."

"Grrrrrr! That girl is gonna ruin us for sure!" Garret stood up angered. "Can't believe she ever w-"

"Ahhhhhhh!" they heard indistinct shouting from the lobby below.

"What in the hell?" the VP asked

"Easy Darius, I bet it's our favorite little vixen paying us a visit. Come on."

The two left the office and looked down at the lobby below, fleeing personnel and gunshots from Security were no match against the tons of vines crushing into the facility.

"Oh my God!"

"Shes back!"

"Quick hide!"

"Hide yo kids! Hide yo wife!"

Suddenly a blossoming flower appeared in the midst of all the vines, and as it bloomed out popped-

"I'M BAAAAAAAACK!"

"Well-well-well, Isabelle Lillian Isely...Last I remember you were shackled in the Fruit Loop Box and they melted the key." Garret sneered

"Aw, Garry you haven't changed a bit have you?" Ivy asked

"No, what do you want-"

"AND WHY YOU GIVING OUR BUSINESS THE BUSINESS GIRL?"

"Cool it Darius, it's okay, she'll explain, won't she?" He winked, and pressed a silent alarm button on a remote.

"Riiiiiiiiight."

"So what do you want anyway Ivy?"

"Well-"

"Need I remind you that you've nearly ruined my family's company, destroyed my derricks, what else could you possibly take away from me now?"

"You see Westbrook, the only thing I could possibly want now...is...YOU!"

"What!"

Some vines sprung out and grabbed Westbrook!

"What, hey!"

"Boss!"

"This isn't just for me Garry, this is for all that you've done to destroy this beautiful green planet of ours! Between your oil spills, which reach to our humble shores and decay the beautiful wildlife-"

"Oh save the sob story for BP or someone who cares Izzy." Garrett sneered.

"You know...they say I'm crazy-"

"THAT'S CUZ YOU ARE CRAZY FOOL!"

"Thank you Darius, you've made your point son. And as for you Isley, I don't bow to the demands of terrorist thugs like yourself."

"Grr...You're stalling-"

"You do know me all too well don't you? I estimate it will be a matter of moments before this building is surrounded with police."

"You...you little conniving evil-"

"Shouldn't I be calling you that?" Garrett asked

"That's it, I was only here to threaten you, but you've forced my hand! For you and for all the city of Gotham! I'm taking you with me Westbrook, and your going to watch me rebuild this polluted city from the ground up! I'm sabotaging everything! And there's nothing-I mean nothing you can-[sireeeeeeeeeen]-Damn! Ranted too long! Curse my thespian instincts, get it together Izzy!"

"You better give up now Isley, the police will have this area covered!"

"As I hoped Darius." she pressed a button on a remote. The ceiling above them exploded.

[BOOM]

"Cough-cough-cough! What the hell?" Darius asked

"Ivy-cough-cough-what is that stuff! Cough!"

"Explosive tree sap with a few other goodies."

"Oh, like just a splash of nitroglycerin?"

"Sh-shut-up! It's not going to matter, all you get to do is watch as I destroy the polluted city of Gotham."

One of her vines rose up through the hole and Garret went with her.

"And just to make sure the police don't follow us. Arise my minions!" and a horde of hedge like monsters rose up, just as the police came in, Bullock and Montoya led the hunt.

"Detectives, look out!" Darius yelled

"What in the world!"

"Well Montoya somethinig tells me this was plant-freaks doing-"

"YOU THINK! Just Shoot Harv, or, clip...or burn, ya know anything would work right about now."

"CHARGE!"

The police dove in guns a blazing, while all the while, Ivy and Westbrook were safely lifted up into her super green blimp.

"Gaze at your family's once proud company Westbrook, as you get to watch everything you've ever built, and all that Gotham city stands for...a polluted waste." she turned to him who was tied up with a lot of thorny vines.

...Commercial...

Alright back on the ground the cops were sheering her minions.

"Bang! Take some of that maggots!" Chef gunned another one down, unknowing there was one more behind him.

"Gasp-Chef!"

"Behind you!"

"Huh-WHOA!" -[ching]" a batarang split him in two. Nightwing appeared on the upper catwalk

"Gasp! Nightwing!"

"Hey it's Nightwing!"

"Humph, thanks a lot freak but I could have taken him." Chef scoffed.

"Then why didn't ya?" he flew away.

"Huh, man of few words." Courtney smiled

"Humph, still a freak Montoya...still a freak."

Later that evening Batman swung atop the police HQ as the Bat-Signal shown proudly in Gotham's night sky, Ivy's blimp circled the city. Nightwing joined him.

"Alright boys, let me bring you up to speed." Chris began.

"I'm assuming the giant green blimp has something to do with it?" Batman asked

"That would be correct, come into my office fellas." Chris led them into his office, where the Vice President was already waiting for them.

"Hey, you're the vice president of Westbrook Oil." Nightwing announced

"Yes, I saw you earlier when you helped Detective Bullock out of that jam. The name's Darius Sanders-"

"I COULD HAVE TAKEN HIM!" Chef yelled from outside

"BULLOCK!" Chris yelled "Sorry, you were saying Mr. Sanders?"

"Yes, it appears Poison Ivy has kidnapped our CEO Garrett Westbrook the III."

"Well, it makes sense, he owns an oil company, which strikes pollution which she simply cannot stand. But, why him?" Batman asked "There are plenty of greedy polluting CEO's throughout the city."

"Yeah, you have parties with most of-[elobow]-ow."

"Stow it." Batman ordered

"Well, I know why she picked Mr. Westbrook. Years ago, while she was in college, Izzy Isley as crazy as it seems, worked for our company."

"[GIANT GASP]!"

"I know-I know. Don't let anything fool you though, it was simply she needed tuition money and we were hiring." Darius explained "And from the start, she hated working at our company. She complained bitterly, always pushing her stupid talk about her "cause" and such. Finally, Mr. Westbrook had enough, he fired her. But the dumbass decided he was going to do it publicly to humiliate her, after he fired her, he bought this beautiful rose-most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and he burned a whole bouquet. She cried, everyone laughed, and got it on camera too. She looked broken, told Garrett he would rue the day he ever messed with her, then she stormed out." he finished

"Wow...that sounds...really gay Darius. Chris said nearly uninterested. "Everyone knows, the building of Stonegate Penitentiary pushed her over the edge."

"Wait, did you say a rose?" Batman asked

"Yes."

"Really red?"

"Uh-huh."

"Ton of thorns?" Nightwing asked

"Oh yes, it did have a lot of thorns now that I think about it."

"Wild thorny rose." the three said in unison

"Excuse me?"

"They used to grow wild near the Stonegate area, but now they're all extinct, because of it." Chris explained

"Oh."

"Darius...when did this event happen?"

"Oh jeez uh...6-7 years ago I'd say-she was a senior in College by then-"

"I need a date dammit!" Batman slammed his fist.

"Alright-alright, late April 2004."

"Gasp, that's when we broke ground on Stonegate." Batman gasped

"Really, you remember that?" Chris asked

"Uh...yes." he was there fool!

"Well needless to say afterwords Garrett for how he treated Izzy, never truly forgave himself, even though things did go business as usual. He was never really himself after that-went time and time again out of his way to make amends, even offered her, her job back. But Ivy wanted none of it, still telling him he, his company and the city would rue the day, the messed with planet Earth."

"So that's what she wants." Nightwing looked at Batman

"Darius, Chris, I think I know what Ivy plans to do, and Westbrook might be in grave danger-" suddenly a call came in through Skype on Chris's computer

"This is Gordon, go ahead."

"_Commissioner! Holy sh*t! Commissioner, Sergeant Bartlett! I'm at the Ace Textile Mill! They're everywhere!"_

"Wow, we still make textiles? Well what is it son?"

"_I dunno! [bang-bang-bang] a bunch-a...bunch a green monsters everywhere! I need back-up now! I got multiple casualties! Civilians wounded!"_

"Sit tight sergeant I'll get a SWAT unit inbound, just stay calm, Gordon out-"

"Commissioner!" Montoya stormed in

"What?"

"We got more green monsters at the Gotham Motor Works!"

"It's starting..." Batman said, he and Nightwing exited,

"What is, what's starting?" Chris asked, his phones ringing off the hook "Batman...BATMAN!"

Meanwhile up in the blimp. Ivy was readying stage two of her ingenious plan, she applied a familiar deadly lipstick.

"Well-well, my sabotage plan has already taken shape...watch Garrett as I turn your little polluted city into a nice green park. And as for you...I'll see to it that you, and everyone else who pollutes Earth will be dealt with...I especially want to give you a special surprise." she got close and removed the vine gag from his mouth "A kiss...mhmnmhmnmhmmnmhm." he suddenly felt dizzy. "Ha-ha, Alejandro managed to stay up for a good 3 days before I was forced by Batman to give up the antidote, let's see how long it takes you...to die-ha-ha-ha-haAha-ha-ha-ha-ha-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

Westbrook was fading fast.

**To Be Continued...**

**Alright guys, dramatic conclusion up next, PLEASE REVIEW! The events of this episode by the way will lead up to the Season 6 episode Earth Year.  
**


	100. Sabotage! Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

The two approached the roof of the police HQ as the situation streetside grew worse.

"So, plan of attack?" Nightwing asked

"Do you ever have an idea for a plan of attack Nightwing?"

"No, was I supposed to?"

"You are receiving a college degree...I am did my damned best to give you the greatest education possible...and you yet you've retained nothing." Batman groaned

"Oh so sorry Mr. Rhodes Scholar, but I'm afraid the Quadratic formula and the history of the war of 1817 have nothing to do capturing a plant wielding maniac!"

"The war...of 18-12 DUMBASS!"

"I was never good with history sorry!" Nightwing fumed

"Alright-alright, just pay attention, you're going to the textile mill and kick some ass over there, Batgirl is going to Gotham Motor Works, if you find some way to kill them off, everything will simply fall apart."

"Right..." Nightwing got his bat hook ready. "Wait, what are you gonna do?"

"What else? I'm going after Ivy." Batman pushed a button on a remote and the Bat-Wing slowly descended towards the roof.

"Oh cool...wait."

"Yeah?"

"What do you think crazy ass is going to do to Westbrook?"

"Not sure." Batman hopped into the cockpit "But if I know Izzy, and by now I do, it's going to have something to do with poison." the cockpit door closed. And the Bat-Wing lifted off into the air.

"Why is he always so vague when he's about to do something by himself?" You could ask Bob Kane...if this were 1994. Anyway Nightwing swung towards the Textile mill.

Meanwhile Batgirl swung onto an adjacent building to the Gotham Motor Works Factory.

"You sure I'm needed here boss?" she asked

"_Yes."_

"Alright...sure you don't want me to call in a Gardner?"

"_Hey! C'mon Bridge you're supposed to be the responsible one, hell if I wanted a lazy response, I would have asked Geoff."_

"Right, okay I'm on it."

She swung into one of the upper windows to the factory, she devastated one of the green things by kicking it as she swung in...You know what, it's all in slow motion.

As she let go and fell to the factory floor she slashed two more down to size with a couple of Batarangs and then landed behind the police and civilian line guarded by 6 cops, plus Montoya. And now were back to normal speed.

"Evening Detective."

"Whew, Batgirl thank God, I think Ivy's finally lost it this t-Spaulding! Watch your 3!"

"Huh-[bang-bang]-Thanks Lieutenant!"

"Look, just slice and dice before these things get to the civilians!" Courtney ordered

"Can do, luckily I wisely stocked up on throwable hedge clippers." Batgirl chuckled, she launched several Batarangs at the targets.

Across town, Nightwing Landed on the roof of the Mill. All of the tree like monsters were already inside so needless to say SWAT surrounded them quickly.

"What do we do now?" a SWAT officer asked

"We wait for Lieutenant Bullock, those were our-[screeeeeee]" Chef's car pulled up

"Alright maggots, what is this a sewing circle? Get to work!"

"Sigh."

"Yes sir! And uh, the Commish' gave us this new toy to play with."

"What are you getting at Sergeant?" Chef asked -[rumble-rumble-rumble] And thus pulled up a-

"No way." Nightwing marveled.

"You gotta be kidding me! It's a...It's a...IT'S A TANK! A beautiful tank!" Chef shed a tear.

"M1 Abrams military grade to be exact. We got some bailout money."

"Good, alright everyone, just stay behind the tank, she should do the rest!"

"You heard the lieutenant boys! Let's do work!"

"Hoo-rah!"

"Well before Chef goes off and does something stupid, I should take care of the hostages inside." Nightwing broke through the skylight, and slowly scaled the wall.

The green things had the few cops and civilians pinned in a circle, one of them actually talked whilst Nightwing looked through his utility belt for something useful.

"Alright you polluters listen up." the thingy said in a raspy voice. "We can do this the quick way...or the slow and painful way, your call."

The others cringed, Nightwing simply rolled his eyes.

"Ugh, let's see, batarangs, nope...bat hook, nope...explosive gel, nope...smoke and a pancake, ha-ha, nope...smoke pellet, nope...cigar and a waffle, nope...9-bang, nope...pipe and a crepe, nope...bat-cuffs, nope...bong and a blintz, nope." he turns to the camera "You do realize this Austin Power's moment is simply for comedic purposes, right...good." he got back to searching.

"Okay...who wants to go first?"

"How bought you." Nightwing whispered "Let's see...ah here it is, Waynetech's own; I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Instant-Poison-Ivy-Weed-Killer...okay whoever thinks of these names is so fired." Geoff pulled the pin to the grenade like object and stuck it into the sprinkler system.

"Now, just need a little of this." he tossed a lighter at the nearest sprinkler, causing them all the explode with the weed killer.

"What the...no...NOOOOOOO!" the things melted into a leafy, green and inedible goop.

"Look!" an officer noticed

"It's Nightwing!"

"Yes-yes, hold the applause." he jumped down to their level. "Now if I was you I would-[SMASH]-the tank and the others stormed the building. "Move...out of...the way."

"Not to worry folks, the Calvary is here, literally!" Chef announced

"Yeah you're too late again Bullock, I handled it."

"Grrrrrrrr! Nightwing! Dammit that's the second time today you ruined my collar!"

"They were green tree like monsters cooked up by a complete earth friendly psychopath, calm down. Look, if we have to help someone, Batgirl and Detective Montoya are at Gotham Motor works and they need our help more than ever, come on, I'll race ya!" Nightwing launched a Bat Hook and swung towards the roof.

"Qucik, we gotta beat him!" Chef ordered "I'm not getting beat again today, third times the charm, hit it Charlie!"

"Yes sir Lieutenant Bullock!"

Up in the sky Ivy was still admiring her work as more and more of her monsters roamed the city.

"Yup, won't be long now Garry, not soon before long my green minions will cover Gotham city in mulch." she approached the dying oil industrialist

"You...your crazy...Batman...Gordon...s-s-dammit someone will stop you!" he panted gasping for air.

"Hmm-hmm-hmm yeah, still waiting on that." she brushed her hand across his dying face. "Still waiting on that."

"Batman...help...meeeeee." Garrett moaned almost near silent.

Ask and ye shall receive Westbrook. The Bat-Wing moved near undetected towards the blimp, Batman kept it in idle and jumped onto the the cushion of the blimp. Making sure to keep his balance.

"Okay, note to self, keep blimp maneuvering lessons in thought." he said, then he got on the Bat-Communicator.

"Alfred?"

"_Good evening Master Trent, I trust you need some blimp advice?"_

"Yeah...what do you know about walking atop a blimp?"

"_Simple sir...don't fall off."_

"Ha-ha, very funny, why don't you hope my foot falls out after I put it in your ass."

"_Okay Red Forman, since were not in a jocular mood this evening, might I suggest you find the nearest ballast rope, swing on that, then kick your way into the cockpit?"_

"What? It's that easy? Jeez Alfred I could have thought of that!"

"_Then why didn't you sir?"_

"Because I...Er...Y-you want a credit in this episode or not?"

"_I believe that's up to our shows Creator sir." _MEEEEEEEE! _"But Godspeed nonetheless, oh and before I forget, I'm sure you'll need a little Rose-From-The-Dead?"_

"Aw crap! I forgot to get that, I'm certain Ivy did to Westbrook the same she did to Al awhile back!"

"_Luckily I assumed she still had one or two old pitfalls in her life sir and wisely packed it in your spare belt pocket."_

"Really?" Batman checked the pocket and found the bottle. "Ha-ha, yes, thanks Alfred! What would any of us do without you?"

"_Believe me sir, if you wanted my honest answer, I can assure you it is not pretty."_

Batman nodded up on the rope nearest above the cockpit.

"Alright then I'm going in. Wish me luck."

"_Good luck sir...oh, before I forget, a miss Andrea Beaumont called today." Anyone who guesses who she is gets their tag-name mentioned in the next chapter._

"Uh...Tell her...I'm in a meeting...a very...sky high meeting."

"_Ha-ha, right." [end transmission]_

Batman swung down the rope and his feet went on a collision course with the cockpit window.

"Yes sir Garry, it's only a matter of time before Gotham is mine! I'm sure you're tired of listening to me say that, but...don't worry, it'll be all over soo-[CRASH]. . . .[SLICE]. . . .-Yoooooooooou-[brak]"

Okay crazy slow motion stunt action time! Batman crashes through the window, immediately slices one of the three monsters. Does a quick forward flip, then kicks Ivy right into her own controls.

"Ha! Good to see you too Batman! You know normally when a normal guy comes into a normal girl's abode he usually gives her a kiss, and offers her flowers or a box of chocolates! NOT A KICK TO THE FACE!"

"Yes, except you understand Ivy, you're not normal!" he readied a Batarang and launched it at the control panel. Hitting it at exactly the right spot which caused a malfunction, sending the blimp on a one way collision course to the Bay.

"B-Batman." Garrett said weakly. Batman approached him, and took out the antidote.

"It's alright Westbrook, you'll be okay-gah!" the other two minions picked Batman up, and Ivy grabbed the antidote.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"So...close." Batman groaned

"Yeah, but horse shoes and hand grenades this is not B-Man. Face it! I won! I won and there isn't a thing you can do about it! This city is mine, mine you hear me and there isn't a thing you can do about it so ha-ha-ha-[kick]-NO!" Batman kicked the antidote from her hand, and it conveniently splashed all over Westbrook, which melted his viney restraints. Batman then Kicked Ivy away, then the two minions to the side.

"NOOOO!"

"Batman quickly, that huge red button over there, controls the life support for her minions, turn it off, they all die."

"Perfect." this time he got his bat hook ready.

"NO! Don't you dare hurt my babies-NOOOOOO!" he blasted, the hook tore the receiver and the button right out of the wall, the two minions died instantly.

"NOOOOOOO! You know in hindsight that button was not a good idea on my part but NOOOOOO! My babieeeeeeeeeeeees!" she sobbed

Back on the ground, the team at the factory was losing it.

"There breaking through!"

We can't hold out much longer!"

I don't care!" Courtney yelled "HOLD...THE...LIIIIIIIIINE!" suddenly the minions melted away.

"What the?"

"Don't question it, just don't!" suddenly the tank carrying Nightwing, Chef and everyone else stormed in

[CRASH]

"Yee-haw! Yo Batgirl were...here?"

"Dammit! What happened this time?" Chef asked Batgirl looked up

"Batman happened."

.And on the blimp

"You...you evil...sniveling little-[crack]" Garret hit the psychopath as she ranted

"You know Izzy you may think I'm evil, I'm not! You were just a pain in my companies ass since the moment I interviewed you. I tried to reconcile with you after what I did, it wasn't right. As good old Thomas-Bruce Wayne told me many years ago."

"Gasp-dad?" Batman whispered near silent.

"A company is built on strong moral foundations...and the customer always comes first...Maybe if you tried it instead of ruining everyone else you would know."

All Ivy did was sneer. A police copter followed the falling blimp.

"Yo guys!" Chris yelled from the chopper "How are you at jumping?"

Ivy was being taken away back on the ground.

"And you know what Isley, I think it is about time Westbrook Oil went green! From now on we'll be selling Ethanol, and that vegtable oil crapyou hippies love so much-what's that called

"Bio-diesel you bastard!" she yelled as the door slamme din her face.

"Right-right bio-diesel." he turned to Batman "And thank you Batman, you not only saved my life, but this experience helped me change it."

"Well, seems to me you had yourself a good teacher." Batman turned to Nightwing and Batgirl. And they left.

NOW meanwhile, this whoooooole scenario was being monitored from a secret location. By Ra's Al Ghul.

"Hmm, that Ivy girl could be of use toy your cause master."

"Quite right Ubu. I want a full evaluation done on Izzy Isley right away, do not cut corners, I think she will be a valuable asset to phase 2 of my new ingenious plan...Let's just hope the Detective doesn't get in my way...again."

**The End**

**K guys, long one here, glad you enjoyed it, We got our Inspector Gadget Crossover up next, then some more Catwoman, so PLEASE REVIEW and stay tuned, and remember; Andrea Beaumont, NO WIKIPEDIA!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

**Dan Petronijevic: **Nightwing

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Courtney Montoya

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Katie Crown: **Poison Ivy

**Ed Asner: **Garrett Westbrook the III

**Phil LaMarr: **Darius Sanders

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Sgt. Bartlett

**John DiMaggio: **Tank Commander

**Jennifer Hale: **female officer, various

**Grey DeLisle: **hostages

**Scott Menville: **hostages, SWAT officer

**Jason Marsden: **SWAT Commander, various

**Dana Delaney: **hostage

**Jeff Bennett: **hostage, police

**Billy West: **police, various

**Kevin Michael Richardson: **additional voices

**Jim Cummings: **Ubu, Ivy's Minions

**David Warner: **Ra's Al Ghul


	101. Inspector Batman, Part I

**Villain: Dr. Claw (special guest appearance)**

**Episode Archive: ORIGINAL!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Eric Radomski**

**Teleplay By: Jean Chalopin&Andy Heyward**

**Art Direction: Bruno Bianchi&Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 49: Inspector Batman**

**[Inspector Gadget is owned and developed by Jean Chalopin and Andy Heyward copyright 1983]**

Alright with all the logistics and legal stuff aside, I would like to congratulate Kyrogue23 for being the first to know who Andrea Beaumont is, nicely done. Find her voice actress and I'll mention you again, I will allow Wiki for this one.

Okay, Twas one of THOSE mornings, the one where Commissioner Gordon was just sipping some coffee at Police HQ.

"Ah, what a quality day. The sun is shining, crime is down 23%, all the lunatics are locked up in Arkham where the belong. Everything is just perfect." he said taking a sip.

Suddenly it seemed like something was eclipsing the sun. Chris looked out and saw a giant aircraft, colored black with red trim and some gold completely eclipsed the city.

"Oh come oooooon! Can I ever have anything nice!" Chris stormed out of his office muttering to himself. "I bet Commissioner Turpin over in Metropolis never has to deal with this crap! The man of freakin steel would have had this taken care of by now!"

"Uh Commissioner-"

"Yes Erickson I see the airship! DOES EVERYONE SEE THE F*CKIN AIR SHIP!" everyone's head nodded. "Good! I'm calling the mayor, then I'm calling Batman!" Chris walked back into his office after getting another cup of coffee.

"Lousy stupid criminals! If I really wanted all this crap, I would have just stayed in Teaneck!" his phone rang. "What?"

"_Chris, Mayor Hill. Assuming I'm not hallucinating, there is what appears to be a space like craft eclipsing our fair city."_

"Ugh, I wish you were hallucinating." Chris fell back into his chair. "I'm not even sure who is behind this."

"_Yeah well I do, on the bottom of the craft reads the word MAD and their Cat insignia is below it, I'm certain this is the work of Dr. Claw."_

"Are you sure Ham?"

"_As sure as I was the first Batman. Speaking of which, I want him and his team assembled immediately. Then I want you make a call to old Commissioner Chief Quimby over there in Metro City, I want his best man working on this asap."_

"Solid copy, Quimby owes me a favor anyway back when we worked for the FBI in D.C. I'll keep in touch mayor."

"_Right." [end transmission]_

"Chris got back on his phone, and called his old friend. "Quimby, it's Gordy...Gordon...Chris Gordon...Come on, we used to work for McNamara and the Feds in D.C. ...Ah, there you go, look I'm cashing in that favor you owe me...Seems your boy's top foe has put a huge air craft above my city, I want him here now! … Good, just make sure this goes smooth and that no civilians are-blah-blah-blah. See ya." [end transmission]

Somewhere in the nice suburbs of Metro City, Inspector Gadget dressed for the day in his typical fedora, trench coat, and jeans attire. He headed for breakfast, made by his too-competent-for-her-own-good niece Penny.

"Morning uncle Gadget." she said sweetly

"Good morning Penny." he took his seat "And might I say it is a beautiful morning, not a cloud in a sky, and no eclipses to be had. I think I'll start the morning off right with a jog around the-[riiiiiiiiing]-what in the world?"

"Sounds like the top secret Gadget phone." Penny pondered

"Good call...ha-ha, s-see what I did there, I-I-ha-ha-ha, I just made a pun." he unscrewed his thumb a little to activate the phone. "What's that chief...you're where? I'll be right over." [end transmission]

Gadget adjourned to the Dining room. There stood the short, chubby, pipe smoking chief Quimby, stuffed in his china closet.

Hiya chief, I see those Pilate classes are really doing numbers for your flexibility."

"Thank you, nevertheless, here's your assignment Gadget." he handed the Inspector a note,

"Air ship hovering over Gotham City-Suspected of being affiliated with MAD-Dr. Claw intends to destroy the city-If demands are not met-stop the ship-nab claw-help Batman-this message will self destruct." he finished, and crumbled up the note "Not to worry chief, I'm always on duty." he said before throwing the note into the china closet.

"Oh noooooo-[BOOOM-CRASH]. . .I need to increase my health insurance." the chief groaned. Gadget walked over to Penny and her dog Brain, who were totally not-completely eavesdropping.

"Dr. Claw is in Gotham?" Penny asked

"Yup, and that's where were headed, but I must warn you Penny, Gotham City is home to some of the most unstable criminals in the world, Lord knows what Dr. Claw will do with information like that." They walked outside towards the Gadget mobile.

"Oh boy I can't believe I'll be getting to work with Batman, I hear he is as broody as he is cunning. Plus it will be a great opportunity to see Chris Gordon again. He and chief Quimby go way back."

"Do you think that connection could be why Dr. Claw wants Gotham?" Penny asked

"Don't know, but I'm sure whatever it is, it must be something convoluted and devious."

On a monitor Dr. Claw monitored the conversation from the office of his airship. (His body is never actually revealed)

He sits in a huge chair, completely obscuring his body from the camera, only his hands are visible. Which are silver and gray gauntlets. He speaks in a voice so deep, raspy, and sinister, it will make Richard Moll say damn.

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, that's it Gadget, come to Gotham, you'll only fall into my trap-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" ...commercial...

Speak of the Batman, we take you now to Wayne Manor. Trent was doing some sit-ups in the gym, while Alfred dusted the gym equipment.

"Grunt! 523-524-5...25! Whew, what a workout."

"Not sure who your trying to impress sir, but you and I both know you only did 60."

"Still not bad." Trent stood up

"If you want to finally go on a date again sir, I recommend pretending to do 525 situps in a public gymnasium." Alfred suggested

"Oh, your just full of jokes lately aren't you? You been reading Joker's book?" Trent asked wiping the sweat off his face.

"Hardly sir, but it is an interesting read for the common dandy."

"Sigh, you British and your unpredictable analogies." Trent rolled his eyes.

Alfred then noticed the airship eclipse the sun. Since Wayne Manor was outside the main city limits, it wasn't covered by the ship.

"Uh...Master Trent, I think there is something you need to-"

"Yup...I see it alright. And to think, it was my day off, everyone's still in Arkham, and no conventional criminal can afford something like that."

"So, are aliens out of the question sir?" Alfred asked

"I don't know Alfred, but right now I would believe anything."

"Hmm, and I think Commissioner Gordon is getting much more creative with the Bat-Signal."

"Huh?"

"Look sir." Alfred pointed to the Bat Signal which was smacked onto the bottom of the airship.

"I'm going." Trent went for the door.

"Going sir? But it's 10:30 in the morning, Only vampires loathe daylight more than Batman."

"The city needs me Alfred, besides; it looks like it's 9:30 at night anyhow."

"I was kidding sir, I should hope you'll be taking care of that."

"Riiiiiiiiiiight."

Batman flew towards police Headquarters in the Bat-Wing assuming he'll need it.

Alfred moved onto the study to do some dusting, when Cody walked by.

"Morning Alfred-"

"Late night master Cody?"

"Uh...yeah you could say that-"

"Anything you and Ms. Rhinehart would be willing to discuss?"

"Uh...-"

"Oh please, Lucius told me everything. Look I don't care if you date her, but if Master Geoffrey knew he would be most unhappy, and don't even get me started if Master Trent were to find out. So if I were you I would watch my step Master Co...dy?" Alfred turned around to see Cody had disappeared. And where better to do that, but into the Bat-Cave.

"Whew...the only lectures more boring then normal lectures...are British lectures." he groaned. Cody walked into the Bat-Cave. "Yawn, maybe I'll go see what this whole airship thing is all about." he turned on the lights to the upper hanger. "Aw, Trent took the Bat-Wing."

"Who says you only need that?" Sara turned around in the Bat-Computer chair.

"Sara hey!" he ran to give her a hug.

"Hey Codykins!"

"I'm so happy to-wait a minute...did you steal the keycard again when I wasn't looking?"

"Hmm...maybe?" she said playfully. "Oh who cares, come on, I figured this thing might be trouble, so I stopped by Fort Dix airbase, the Commanding officer owes me a favor." she directed Cody's attention to an A-10 Warthog sitting idle in the hanger runway.

"Wow..." the smile quickly faded "It's stolen isn't it?"

"Uh, depends on your definition of stolen..." she chuckled, Cody gave her that look. "What? I never said how big the favor was he owed me."

Cody crossed his arms and drummed his fingers against them.

"Oh come on! Don't you want to stop whatever this thing is..." no response "Oh come on Cody, pweeeeease, I promise when this is all over, I'll go right back to the Asylum, swearsies!"

"Ugh, fine-"

"YAAAAAAAY!"

"But you're flying."

"Good." now dress up, lets go."

The two nodded up, and flew out of the Bat-Cave. Headed for whatever Dr. Claw could throw at them.

"Hey, Sara, you never told me you could fly a plane!" Robin yeleld

"Oh fly yes!" she did a perfect barrel roll. "Uh, land-no!"

"WHAT!"

"Sorry I skipped the landing class!"

Over at Gotham PD, Batman sat in Chris Gordon's office.

"It's baffling my friend...why is it always our city?"

"Eh, goes with the show, now who is this guy Chris?"

"Hill thinks it's some guy named Dr. Claw, a ruthless terrorist leader who controls the organization MAD. The guy you'll be working with Inspector Gadget, he's...well he's crazy, but he's a valuable asset to your cause and he has fought this guy numerous times." [knock-knock-knock] "Oh that must be him now." Gadget entered

"Commissioner Gordon what a pleasure -WOWZERS!" ah, he said it "It's really you, you're Batman."

"And you must be Gadget."

"Yes, and I will be looking forward to us working together in stopping Dr. Claw."

"Well good, cause-" suddenly Chris's TV turned on...and so did every TV in the city, including the Mega TV in Gotham City Square. Dr. Claw appeared...you know, as the two hands and in the chair.

"People of Gotham, unless you want me to use the experimental laser to destroy the city which will annihilate anything in it's path, I suggest you pay me 4 trillion dollars, to keep me from doing that, better hurry Gotham, clock's a ticking, and you only have 6 hours before I hit the switch-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" [end transmission]

"Wowzers, he's serious, that laser at the middle of that craft will wipe everything out, just like in that movie-"

"Uh, Executive Decision?" Chris asked

"No, it's got Will Smith in it, it's on the tip of my tongue-"

"Independence Day?" Batman remembered

"Right, that's the one."

"Well, you better hurry, who knows what diabolical things he'll do!" Chris hurried them along.

Up on the roof, Penny and Brain sneaked into the cargo hold on the Bat-Wing.

"Come on Brain, just squeeze!"

"Roooow-ruff-ruff!"

"Yeah I know it's crampt Brain, but we need to help uncle Gadget on this one, plus if anything, we'll get to work with Batman-gasp, here they come." she slammed the door.

"So this Claw guy?" Batman asked

"Crazy as they come, you'll never meet a more insane person than Dr. Claw."

"Oh I'll be the judge of that." they climbed into the Bat-Wing.

"Wow, fancy bird you got here Batman."

"Thank you."

"Where do you may I ask you afford all these nice things."

"Uh...Pension?"

"Ah, of course, alright, let's hit it."

"Agreed." they took off, towards the top of the awkward airship.

**To Be Continued...**

**Alright guys, big finish up next. Again, congrats Kyrogue23, and extra brownie points if you find her voice actress. Alright guys, the buses for my Varsity Wrestling tournament leave at 5:20...AM! And then afterwords I'm seeing Sherlock Holmes 2 with my friends, I'll be snoring through that. So updating tomorrow night might be a little hard with my lack of sleep. Just a heads up, so PLEASE REVIEW! And uh, yeah enjoy guys!**


	102. Inspector Batman, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Sorry guys, I'm not gonna lie to you I did not see the sun yesterday, we got to their school just before sunrise and left just after sunset. And 4 hours of sleep into a 20 hour day were NOOO help. Sherlock Holmes...Kick ass movie, I highly recommend it. I was up at 4:30 in the morning and then hit the pillow again a little after midnight, and was at home 45 minutes between tournament and movie. So, sorry updating was just simply impossible yesterday.

On that note, I'm back now, again, Kyrogue23 coming through in the clutch, the answer was in fact Dana Delaney. Also, those wondering what is in store for 2012 (Because yours truly is not buying into that silly Dec. 21st crap) ask me, and ya shall receive.

Sooooooooo, with that out of the way, here's this. First we go to the two lovebirds in the Warthog hovering around the airship.

"Okay so...How are we going to get inside?" Robin asked

"Elementary my dear Robin." Exterminator began "When you have the proper tools at your disposal, you make your own way in." she dropped the two bombs located on the bottom of the bird, they exploded and carved a manageability sized hole in the hull of Dr. Claw's air ship.

"Okay, now what?" Robin asked.

"Now...you better close your eyes."

"Why?"

"Oh, trust me." She made a pass and went guns blazing towards the hole.

"Ohhhhhhh, I get it...AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Exterminator launched all 4 of the missiles and unloaded the chain gun inside the hole making it bigger inside so it would be easier for they two to land the plane inside the airship.

"Hang onto your tights Cody!"

"I don't think I-huh? Hold onto my tights? What the hell?" Robin asked

"I don't write this! Just don't do it!"

"Fine-fine!"

"Okay...now keep in mind I still have no idea how to land this thing."

"NOT HELPING SARA!"

CRASH!

The plane blasted through the smoldering wreckage inside the hull, and sped through a hallway, cut through easier by the missiles and gunshots that made it bigger. Eventually, as it slowed down, the large manageable hole in the hallway got smaller and smaller as the plane dug deeper and deeper into the ship. Until they were eventually cutting through the walls. They finally stopped, and their plane was on fire.

The two ejected from the now useless aircraft, and onto the cut up floors of the other aircraft, only to find themselves quickly surrounded by MAD agents, well armored and in better shape from their counterparts in the mid 80's.

"Hey!"

"It's them! It's that Robin kid!"

"And...I'm sorry who the hell are you?"

"She-mhmnmhm." Robin's mouth was quickly shut by Exterminator.

"I'm Batgirl!"

"Ohhhhhhh." the agents said in unison...yup, still as dumb as their 80's counterparts.

"Aren't I Robin? Aren't I Batgirl?" No fool!

"Uh..." No, just say no! "Uh...Yes." MORON!

"Well either way, Dr. Claw is not pleased with this whole breaking and entering thing!"

"Wait, he knows?" another agent asked

"Well-"

"Really? Wow, he-he must have taken this rather well."

"Those anger management classes were such a great Christmas gift...instead of the overtime he gave is."

"Guys! Uh...he uh...doesn't know yet."

"Ohhhhhhh!"

"Well your gonna be the one to explain this you jackass!"

"Yeah, after we nab these two first!" the agents drew guns at the two. Funny, I don't remember them having guns in the old cartoon.

"Aw crap." they put up their hands.

Meanwhile, the Bat-Wing was hovering around. Dr. Claw saw this from his monitor...Yet he did not notice the Warthog bomb their hull, shoot through the ship, then crash through half of it.

"Errrrrgh-[fist slam]-GADGET!"

His henchmen entered the office room with their two captives.

"Uh..D-D-D-Dr. Claw-"

"WHAT IS ITTTTTT!" he fumed

Uh-uh-well-we-we-w-w-w-we-"

"Spit it out you bumbling fool!"

"We uh, caught these two sneaking into the airship sir-"

"Well actually they shot through our hole then proceeded to land inside...without any landing gear-"

"WHAAAAAAAAT!"

"Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh, hey look on the bright side, we got them."

"Let me see." he turned around in his chair...keep in mind you still can't see him.

"Ewwwwwww!"

"Gross, his face! His horribly disfigured face!" the two snarled

"Shut it! Who are these two?"

"Uh, Robin and Batgirl Dr. Claw."

"So...they did send Batman did they...and he's with GADGET!" Claw fumed "Tie them up here, I'll deal with them after I destroy the city aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Yes sir Dr. Claw."

"You two get the best seats in the house...for when I destroy Gotham! And then Gadget-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha."

"Okay am I the only person noticing the voice?" Robin asked

Meanwhile Batman and Gadget were simply flying around, thinking of their next move.

"Okay, what first?" Batman asked

"Me...Y-yyou want my opinion?"

"Well, you do know this guy, right?"

"Know of him, never actually saw him, gadget to claw. But if I had to recommend a plan, we split up. I know Dr. Claw would put the main power source to the device somewhere by the main laser gun."

"Okay."

"You land and find the power source, and shut it down."

"Hmm, I like that. But wait, what will you do Inspector?" Batman asked

"Me? I'm going after Claw." He opened his cockpit door and jumped. "Go-Go Gadget Copter!" from his hat, helo rotos appeared, and he flew about the airship.

"Well alright then." Batman went to land the Bat-Wing inside the aircraft (safely) and to got right to work.

It was inside a hanger, and the Detective went stealthfully in search of the power source. Penny and Brain, not so stealthy, they kicked open the hood and hit the floor.

"Ow."

"Oof."

"What in the world?" Batman asked

"Wow...oh my gosh Brain, it's really Batman."

"Yes, and your really in trouble."

"No wait, we can help you, I'm Inspector Gadget's niece, my name's Penny, and this is my dog, Brain-"

"Ruff."

"Uh-huh...so if that is true, how can you help me?"

"I can help you locate and shut down the power source."

"Good enough for me, just be careful you two this place is-"

"There he is!"

"It's Batman!"

Three henchmen rushed in

"Yikes, this'll only take a second." with three Batarangs he subdued them easily. "Come on now, step lively."

Meanwhile Gadget found the giant windows that led to Claw's giant office.

"That must be where Dr. Claw's office is." That's what I said! But his copter suddenly spun out of control and he headed for the window.

"Whoa-hey-hey, can't stop-Go-Go Gadget-BREEEEEEAKS!" CRASH. He jumped through the window, first noticing Exterminator and Robin.

"Oh hello there Batgirl and Robin, I was just talking with your boss-say, have you seen Dr. Claw around-"

"I'm right here GADGET!" he turned around in his chair.

"So, Dr. Claw, at last we meet, face to face...or should I saw, Gadget to Claw-i made that joke earlier-"

"IT'S...NOT...FUNNY!"

"Well it seemed to get a chuckle from Batman, and he's harder to please then you."

"Errrrgh! I've always looked forward to destroying you Gadget, but never have I ever dreamed of destroying you myself!" he stood up

"Which begs the question, why me? What did I do?"

"To save time so we don't bore the audience to tears! I say we just skip to the fighting!"

"Couldn't agree more! Go-Go Gadget Kung-Fu!"

Batman, Penny, and Brain found the reactor room, coincidentally was in fact over the laser. A large bridge suspended the fall. The controls wer ein the middle, with two agents manning the controls.

"Oh shoot, how will we get passed them?" Penny asked

"Please, allow me." Batman threw some Batarangs their way, knocking them out.

"I feel like I've seen this before."

"Star Wars." Batman reminded Penny. "Okay, now to disable the power."

"Leave that to me, I'll just use my book computer." Keep in mind this thing was the sh*t back in'83. "And that should do it-Oh no!"

"What, what oh, no, I don't like oh-no Penny!"

"It seems I overrided the controls...the ship is going to disintegrate!"

"R-really? What a stupid feature, come on, we gotta get out of here!"

"But what about uncle Gadget and Dr. Claw?"

"Your uncle has that chopper thing doesn't he?"

"Oh right, he can fly once it happens."

"Right, come on!" They made a break for the Bat-Wing.

Back in the office.

"What!" Claw heard the alarm, after putting gadget in a choke hold. "Oh no! The ships going to disintegrate! How did this happen!"

"Batman happened Claw, now the gig is finally over! Go-Go Gadget hand-cuffs! It's over Dr. Claw.

"For you Gadget, I'll be back, your not the only one with an escape plan!"

"But, I don't really have an escape plan."

"Well then, I won;t be seeing you next time, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" he disappeared behind a book shelf that moves.

"Jerk! Oh well, at least I can save you two." He grabbed Robin and Exterminator. "Alright kids, time to go, as in Go-Go Gadget parachute!" he activated his chute as the ship litterally disappeared. The MAD agents had the same idea and fell with parachutes into the city. Where the police would surely get them. Batman flew by on the Bat-Wing along with Penny and Brain.

"Hey Batman, look who I found trying to help, it's Batgirl and Robin!"

"What inspector that's not Batgirl that the Ex-ugh, nevermind."

"What?"

"Just tell Robin he's in big trouble!"

"Okey-Dokey. You probably heard that."

"I did." Robin sighed.

Dr. Claw was in his escape ship, flying away.

"Ergh, this is far from over, next time Gadget, next time! And I'll get Batman too!"

They landed back on police HQ where Commissioner Gordon and Chief Quimby were there to meet them.

"Congratulations are in order as usual Gadget, and Batman, thank you for your endearing service."

"No problem."

"Yes, you both sure work well, and fast...But, now we have the daunting task of henchmen hunting." Chris groaned.

"Hey, since I'm here, better get started, Go-Go Gadget copter! Just tell me the when and the here Commissioner, I'm always on duty."

"Good, go meet Lieutenant Harvey Bullock in the city square, big guy, can't miss him."

"On it." he flew to the streets.

"That's my uncle." Penny waved

"Ruff-ruff."

"And thanks Penny, I couldn't have done this without you-as for you two, you both have a lot of explaining to do."

We know." they groaned

"Good, now let's go help Gadget first, he's got his work cut out for him."

**The End**

**Okay guys, another episode bites the dust, were nearly halfway through with season 5, and we got some Catwoman up next. PLEASE REVIEW and get ready for more action and mayhem, stay tuned. **

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**Peter Oldring: **Robin

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Maurice LaMarche: **Inspector Gadget, MAD Agent

**Frank Welker: **Dr. Claw, Brain

**Cree Summer: **Penny

**Mae Whitman: **The Exterminator

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill

**Jess Harnell: **Erickson, MAD Agent

**Don Francks: **Chief Quimby, various MAD Agents


	103. Grand Theft Cato, Part I

**Villain(s): Catwoman, Lock-Up**

**Episode Archive: ORIGINAL!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Bruce W. Timm**

**Teleplay By: Michael Reaves&Steve Perry**

**Art Direction: Chris Tucker**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 50: Grand Theft Cato**

Batman responded to a call at the Gotham Museum. Because somebody really wanted to get a last glimpse at dinosaur fossils. No of course there was a break-in. Isn't satire great?

Batman searched around only to find nothing amiss. Until he entered the gems and such exhibit.

"Ah, beautiful, aren't they?" he turned around and shined the Bat-light.

He saw Catwoman, sitting seductively on a pedestal, holding a very expensive and flawless diamond

"...Gwen."

"Nice to see you too beloved."

"Hey-hey, only Heather can call me that!"

"Well shes not here is she? Nope-nope, not in this episode."

"Well that can be arranged, Niko...Niko-"

"_He's not here."_

"_Well then where is he Mike?"_

"_Talking to Joey Landsdale, he's doing the teleplay for the next episode."_

"_And he can't be here?"_

"_No Scott, he can't! And by the by, shes trying to escape, dumbass!"_

"_Oh right, thanks."_

"You know Bats, this little game of Cat and Bat is getting a little old dontcha think?" Catwoman asked

"No, the only game I like to play Catwoman is-"

"Ooh lemme guess, justice?"

"Hit the nail right o the head?"

"You sure I couldn't interest you in a romantic evening?"

"Uh...sure, how bout in 18 years once they release you from Arkham?" Batman suggested

"Sorry Bats, not my style...but I do enjoy a nice chase, you interested, win and I get my little cat butt sent back to the asylum...sounds puuuuuuurfect right?"

"Well...kinda. But I just started patrolling, forget it, I'm spending my whole evening chasing you Gwen, just make this easy." Batman took out a pair of Bat-Cuffs, but as he did-[bang]. A bullet knocked them right from his hands.

"I don't think so Batman."

"Gasp! Lock-Up!" Batman called. He appeared from the shadows.

"That's right, and I'm not leaving here without Gwendolyn Kyle."

"What? Me? Why me?" she asked

"Simple, your the most allusive of all the criminals...with you as my trophy, think of the respect I'll get in this damned city."

"Trophy, as in?"

"As in my own personal cat...I got a nice cage made up for you and everything...that for me will be...puuuuurfect, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"'

"GASP! I change my mind, take to Arkham quick!" she jumped into Batman's arms.

"Right."

"Hey! Don't go all GTA on my prize Batman! We don't want this to be ugly do we?" Lock-Up asked

"What? Don't go all GTA on my prize?"

"Yeah, I'm not property!"

"But you WILL be MY property, and that's what it will be."

"Still wanna rain check on that date?"

"Maybe, first I gotta get you away from Jay Edgar Psycho!"

"Oh good one." Catwoman chuckled.

"Yeah I come up with a good one or two every now and again. Now come on." he practically threw them both out the window and onto the fire escape.

"You can run Batman, but neither of you can hide from me...Lock-Up the most...crap I'm ranting again!" he chased after them.

"So, have a plan?" Catwoman asked

"Yeah, run!"

"Seriously? I could have thought of that."

"Then why didn't you! Come on Gwen!" He grabbed her hand and with his other launched a bat hook onto an adjacent building and flew them both to said building.

"Curse you and your resourcefulness Dark Knight!" Lock-Up shouted. "But you clearly underestimate my persistence! And-aw, he can't hear me anymore."

The two continued to run across the rooftop.

"Got a better idea before he finds us?" Catwoman asked

"More or less the same as before." when they got to the edge of the building, he launched another Bat Hook, taking Gwen they flew towards said building, and crashed through the nearest window, and then onto the floor.

Ironically enough it was Che French n' Stuff, one of the fanciest restaurants in town...though the name would lead you to believe otherwise.

"Oh well, this was convenient." the Matre D' offered them two menus like they were a regular couple.

"Uh, how many tonight?" he asked in a French accent.

"Uh, 2 I guess." Batman shrugged

"Yes of course monsieur Batman, and monshery Catwoman, follow me please." he led them to their table.

"Your waiter Francois will be right with you. Bon appetite." he left.

Lock-Up, already in the restaurant had his own plan in mind. He grabbed the guy who looked like Francois, and tore him behind a giant ass fern, and then knocked him out cold.

"Hey-what the-[thwak-whack-bwak]" The Bolton changed into the waiter's uniform.

"Okay, now how to make this work?" he pondered. He then saw a huge platter of food on a table "Bingo." he took out an eyedropper. "Just a few knockout drops, and Catwoman will be out colder then Max Schmeling." he dropped a little in some escargot. And brought the food to the two.

"Hello there, I'm uh." he looked at the name tag "Fran...F-Franccccc-ois?"

"Francois?" the two asked confusedly

"Right that's it. Now who ordered the escargot?"

"Actually we didn't order." Batman informed him.

"Yeah and boy do you look awfully familiar, but I just can't quite put my finger on it." Catwoman pondered

"Oh I just have that kind of face."

"Riiiiiiiiiight."

"But seriously though, we haven't ordered, or even got drinks." Catwoman said

"Uh...it's on the house...for all the good Batman has done for this fair city."

"Oh, well that's very nice, thank you."

"Now here we go, a uh...I guess this is a lobster tail and sirloin for Batman...and escargot for Catwoman." he placed the food in front of them.

"Ooh, I'm not much into snails."

"Just eat it." Bolton sneered slightly

"Try them Cat you'll like them."

"I really like lobster though."

"Okay we'll switch then-"

"What-NO, you can't!" Bolton practically fell on their food

"Why not?" the two asked in unison

"Because-because..be...cause...we...have...a...no swapping policy?"

"Aw crap, there's always a catch." Catwoman snapped

"See that's how they getcha, they tell you it's free, and then they do this to you." Batman added

"Alright then, I'll eat them."

"Good-good, call me if you need anything." Bolton chuckled "Say a pet carrying case maybe heh-heh-heh-heh." he whispered

"Now that you mention it, uh can we get a bottle of your finest Merlot?" Batman asked

"Yeah-yeah I'll get right on that." Bolton rolled his eyes. And walked to a better vantage point.

"Yo Francois, take these to table 14 over there, and then gove Mr. Batman his Merlot." a runner said to Bolton.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah man, hurry...say, did you do something different with your hair?"

"Uh, whoops, gotta get these to their tables." Bolton hastily grabbed platters and such.

"But, I don't know where those are going y-"

"I'll multi-task!"

While he randomly tossed people their food, Bolton tried to listen in on their conversation, and waiting for Catwoman to take that all to important first bite.

"Well, you sure know how to treat a woman."

"Do I?"

"Well sure, fancy restaurant, classy food, the music the atmosphere, the wine-Oh Francois-

"Here's your damn Merlot, now eat your snails!" he ordered throwing the bottle into an ice bowl centerpiece.

"Whoa, pushy much, someones not getting a generous tip with that attitude." Catwoman said in a sing-song voice. "And all the while were alluding a psychopath trying to make me an exotic pet."

"Yeah, this is sure one crazy date Gwen, but when were done you are so going back to Arkham."

"Fair enough." she took a fork full of escargot. And took a bite.

"Yes..." Bolton snickered from his vantage point

"Francois-"

"WHAT!"

. . .

"Hmm...mmm...you know, this isn't half bad-[thud]" Catwoman instantly hit the table

"Gwen...Gwen!" he ran over to check her pulse. "Still beating...looks like you got knocked out. What the hell is in those snails?" he asked to apparently no one.

"Wouldn't you like to know Batman?" Bolton asked coming from the shadows

"Yeah I would like to know that, that's why I asked the question."

"[face palm] Gimme a break it was all I had to work wit-"

"IMPOSTER!" the real Francois came in with two police officers, he was wearing just his skivvies and a wife beater. "That! That man stole my uniform!"

"Well, no point in keeping this jig up any longer." he tore off the desguise, and changed back into Lock-Up.

"Gasp! It's him!"

"It's Lock-Up!"

"Bolton, what did you do to Gwen?" Batman asked

"Just a little something to make her more manageable to carry around."

"I don't think so Bolton! Catch us if you can! And thanks for the food!" Batman grabbed Catwoman and fired a Bat hook at the nearest window crashing through it.

"Ergh! I will have her Batman! Count on it!" Lock-Up ran from the restaurant!

Batman quickly hit Gwen with some wake up vaccine.

"Huh-what? Snails? Bolton? Huh?"

"It's okay Gwen. Everything's okay now." they swung towards the street, passing a flowers and chocolates vendor.

"Thanks."

"Huh?"

"Thank you."

"What the?" he swung passed each and grabbed a bouquet and ad a box of chocolates and payed forth in cash...in a split second. Then the two landed in the park.

"Whoa...you sue this isn't a date?" Catwoman asked

"Maybe, come on...we need to talk."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	104. Grand Theft Cato, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

The two took a nice stroll through Reed Park. Blissfully unaware of their pursuing psycho.

"So, dinner and a romantic walk through the park? Chocolates and flowers? What's next a movie?" Catwoman asked

"Perhaps, but that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Well then, what is it then?"

"Gwen...it's about us." Catwoman unhooked herself from Batman

"Oh, I get it, you're gonna tell me you wanna get hitched with demon girl, I see how it is!"

"No...I like Heather really I do, but I like you too...unfortunately I couldn't even date either one of you."

"Oh really, and why is that?"

"Well for one thing you're both crazy as hell!"

"Yeah but...you gotta admit were both crazy for you...me even more so."

"Look if you want me to choose, the two of you are going to have to change your ways."

"Ha! Yeah right, she helps her dad overthrow the world, I'm a professional Cat Burglar, not exactly an easy change."

"Well, if you want a piece of Batman, you're gonna have to make do."

she latched her whip to his left wrist, and pulled him in.

"Well maybe...maybe I want to see what's under the mask for a change...maybe what's under that dark cowl is someone just like Batman...or maybe some giant disappointment...if you want me to do this you're going to have let me see...please." she took off her cowl.

"...Okay, but in doing this, you make a pact never to reveal me...ever...for if you do, I can never forgive you...there's not too many people who know the real me under the cowl..."

"Is Demon Girl one of them?" she asked

"Hey it wasn't her fault, Ra's knew all along, she was a...semi-innocent victim of circumstance."

"Anyone else?"

"Rhinehart. But that's another long and painful story."

"Okay...oh you know her and Robin have a thing?"

"Yeah...I don't approve but he's a big boy now he's going to have to make his decisions on his own."

"Yeah do I know what that's like...okay, I swear you're secrets safe with me." No it's not

"Alright Gwen, do it." Catwoman slowly uncowled him in the seemingly deserted park.

"GASP!" ...commercial...

"Trent?"

"Yes." he quickly put his cowl back on. "What you were hoping for...or a complete disappointment?"

"So...you knew all along, you knew when we went on our date 3 years ago...That's why you seemed out of sorts, you knew all along...oh and you do care about me." she gave him a hug

"Yes...yes I do."

"Well I gotta say, this is quite the turn around for you Mr. Billionaire Playboy...But, why?"

"Gwen let me tell you a long-long story."

"Eh, it's a long park."

"Well, I guess it began when-"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"LOCK-UP!" he appeared out of nowhere, fortunately he saw nothing else.

"Now I finally got you Kyle!" he threw an infra red net on her, trapping the cat inside.

"Gwen!"

Lock-Up quickly used a grenade tazer like thing to shock Batman temporarily immobilizing him.

"Gahhhhhh!"

"Batman help!"

"G...Gwen." he said weakly

"That's right Batman lay there helpless...there's nothing you can do, I'd finish you but I got so much work to do with my new little pet. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ah-aha-aha-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-aha-aha-aha!"

"BATMAN!"

He felt himself get weaker and weaker, until he finally passed out.

"...Gwen...You're...right...I...do...care...for...you..."

"Batman...Batman...BATMAN!"

"Huh?" Batman woke up, and he saw the face of a really old friend.

"J-Jim...Jim Gordon?"

"Yeah, thought I'd take a little stroll and I saw you passed out on the walk...what happened?"

"Ergh...Bolton happened."

"Well, seems like he's up to his old tricks again, huh?" the former Commissioner asked

"Yeah, what uh...what brings you to town?"

"Uh you know just wanted to check on what my idiot son was doing to this city's police force, not bad, not bad at all."

"Well I think I'm going to need your help, Lock-Up has Catwoman, and Lord knows what he plans on doing with her."

"I could use some time getting back into the swing of things again. Of course I'll help you out Batman."

"Thanks."

"Trouble is, I couldn't even begin to tell you where to start looking, a guy like Bolton could be anywhere." Jim pondered

"True, but given his mannerisms, I say we need to look for some sort of abandoned detainment facility of some kind."

"Well the only place I can think of is the old prison in the Somerset District not far from the asylum."

"Oh right, that place has been closed for over 75 years." Batman remembered

"If that psycho would be anywhere, it would be there."

"Come Jim, there's no time to lose."

"Right behind ya."

Turns out their hunch was right, that was in fact where Lock-Up was hiding. In the warden's office, where he sat in the old and decrepit easy chair, watching Catwoman sit in her new cage, chained on a collar to said cage. She gave Lock-Up one of those stares.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." he chuckled "Where's your individualism and defiance now my pretty little kitten?"

"Bite me."

"Well, I think it's time someone got declawed for good." he stood up and approached the cage.

"Hissssss!"

"Aw, I wouldn't have done that if I were you."

"Go to hell Bolton, Batman will stop you, he always does."

"Sure he will, if he even wakes up, he doesn't even know where I am."

But of course Bolton is incorrect, little did he know Batman and Jim had already scaled the old building. And made it onto the roof.

"Whew-pant-pant-can we-pant-can we slow-pant-down a little, sorry old friend-pant-I'm-I'm getting-pant-I'm getting to old for this." Jim panted

"It's okay Jim, at least we made it to the roof...though carrying you on my shoulders kinda killed our time ratio."

"Yeah, sorry."

"It's alright."

"Gotta plan of attack."

"Sort of..."

"No?"

"No. But, two verses one, shouldn't be too hard, if Bolton wants to pull a GTA, we'll just pull one right back."

Back down stairs, Lock-Up was setting a bowl aside to feed Catwoman dinner.

"Eat up my pet, after all this is dinner." he aid pouring some dried Cat food into her bowl.

"You sicken me."

"Hey you're the one who ate snails like an hour ago."

"When I get out of this Bolton, you are going to be hearing from my two friends, slashy, and thrashy!" she said getting her claws ready.

"Yeah, like I'm really scared of-[crash]-what the?"

Gordon dropped in from the skylight and aimed his old revolver at the psycho.

"Don't move Bolton!"

"So, old Jimmy Gordon, last I saw you were happily retired in Florida...why couldn't you just stay there!"

"Thought I'd drop in and see how my old colleague was doing today."

"He's doing just fine, in fact he just swiped the greatest trophy of his life." the 3rd person speaking moron was too unaware that behind him Batman was freeing Catwoman ever so silently.

"So, you'd say Gwen Kyle is a trophy?" Jim asked being such a great actor

"The most elusive criminal in all of Gotham...shes so hard to catch, but since I have I thought she would make a lovely pet."

Batman finally had her freed.

"Oh really? A pet? Really Lyle? Is this some sort of sick joke?"

"Hardly Jim, it's just simply a new hobby of mine, perhaps a chance to teach me a little responsibility and such-ha-ha-ha. And once I get rid of your old farting ass, there won't be a person who can stop me." Lock-Up chuckled

"Is that so?"

"Yes, that is what I'm trying to tell you! Or is your hearing finally starting to go?"

"No Bolton, it's just that in the midst of your ranting you've neglected to notice what's going on behind you."

"Huh, what?" Bolton turned around to see Batman holding an unshackled Catwoman. He did a quick wave then threw down a smoke pellet, and they disappeared

"What the? Where did they! Ergh! Gordon, this is all your-fault?" he turned around again to see Chris sprinting down through the hall. "Well then, if that's how it has to be, then so be it." Lock-up took various items from the desk and chased after them.

Back outside, Batman, Catwoman and Jim sprinted into the woods, just a click or two from Arkham.

"Okay, distracting is easy but I am getting far too old for this!" Jim yelled

"Not to worry Jim you're doing great!" Batman yelled

"Yeah, now let's hurry before that psycho-[Bang]-too late." Lock-Up came sprinting through the woods with a Remington pump shotgun

"Oh boy!"

"Just go I'll see if I can stop him!" Jim yelled.

"No Jim, I got a better idea."

…

Lock-Up eventually found Gordon in a clearing through the woods.

"Alright Bolton, I give up, you got me." he dropped his gun.

"Good...glad you finally see it my way Jimmy." he got closer and aimed the shotgun "You'd think I would feel guilty about doing this, but then again I'd only be blowing away some old fossil anyhow."

"Gulp."

"Say hi to all those that died in Teaneck for me will ya?" [Blam] right in the gut, he blew Jim to the floor. "Ha! All too easy...wait a sec...that was too easy."

"Yes it was!"

"Gasp! Batman!" he heard his voice from the distance. "Where are you show yourself." suddenly a Batarang knocked the shotgun from his hand.

"Crap!" then Catwoman tied him up with her whip. "AW!" she puleld him from the claering, to see they were right in front of Arkham."

Inside Bolton was brought back to his usual cell, Jim and Batman were saying they're goodbyes.

"These Wayne Tech Kevlar vests sure work wonders, lucky you had one."

"Uh, yeah, lucky." Batman said, Catwoman chuckled.

"Well, it's been a privilage son, I hope I get to see you again soon, this side or the other. Now if you'll excuse me, I got a son to yell at and a granddaughter to spoil." he walked away

"See ya Jim." Batman turned to Catwoman "Walk you to your cell?"

"Sure. And uh...this belongs to the museum." she gave him back the diamond

"Thank you."

"So, you never told me...why?"

"Well Gwen...it all started when I was 8 years old..."

**The End**

**K guys, thanks for viewing, what do we have next...oh yes, Count Vertigo makes a triumphant return along with Dr. Steinreich, hope you enjoy that, PLEASE REVIEW and get ready for more!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Catwoman

**Richard Moll: **Lock-Up

**Bob Hastings: **Jim Gordon

**Rob Paulsen: **Francois, Runner

**Tom Kenny: **Matre D, additional voices

**Corey Burton: **waiter, additional voices

**Tress MacNeille: **additional voices


	105. Verrukt, Part I

**Villain(s): Dr. Hans Steinreich, Count Vertigo. Featuring: Penguin, Harley Quinn, The Ventriloquist&Sadieface, Red Claw, Joker, Bane**

**Episode Archive: ORIGINAL!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini&Butch Hartman**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 51: Verrukt**

Steinreich stood on the large wrap around balcony on the decaying post WWII German asylum. He wore a white lab coat, slacks, and Oxford shoes. The Knight eye patch wearing Count Vertigo joined him.

"Zhe test shubjects are all vready zir." Vertigo said with a salute

"Good, you are certain they will awaken within the hour?"

"Oh make zhat zhe halv hour zir."

"Very good Vertigo, hopefully this test will be able to test the true strength and grit these "so called" super villains bring to Gotham. In the former prison I worked at these tests were completely out of the question."

"Ja, freelanzing iz qvite zhe money maker in todayz market."

"Quite right, and with tests like this, knowing they're true weaknesses, Gordon would have to give us some sort of testimonial or something. I'm certain even Batman would be pleased."

"Humph, Batman, he iz a gigantic thorn in zhe side." Vertigo scoffed

"He can be, but for what he does for that city, I'm certainly not complaining."

"Ooh, it lookz like zhe test shubjects are avakening!" Vertigo cheered

"Good, get to your station Vertigo. It's time to commence test number 1."

The villains slowly awoke on the cold ground of the courtyard. All by a large and broken fountain which was in the very center. Penguin of course woke himself up with a giant fart

[fart]

"Aw, damn!" Joker shot up, holding his nose.

"Aw, Penguin, seriously?" Ventriloquist asked

"Wait a minute...where the hell are we?" Red Claw asked "This isn't the asylum. Grr-Joker, is this your doing?"

"Oh yes Katie, cause I just soooooo enjoy putting us all in ridiculous predicaments including myself! Where's Harley, I'm in the mood for a sandwich! All shes good for anyway-"

"Right here Mistah J!" she gave him one of those I-love-you-so-much-bear-hugs.

"Oh Harley...SANDWICH!" he screamed

"Coming right up Puddin! Wait...where's the kitchen?"

"Use your kitchen radar you twit!" Joker shouted

"Joker simmer down bro." Bane said

"Yeah dude chill." Penguin added, a pigeon or two flew into his hands "I'm sure wherever we are, we will get an explanation that will enlighten us on everything."

"Right you are young villains." Steinreich said from his perch.

"What?"

"Who said that?"

"Where are the voices!"

"Someone had better answer these questions real soon!" Red Claw finished.

"I'm...I'm over here!" they looked in Steinreich's direction "No up here!" they finally looked up "There we go."

"Who the hell are you?" Sadie asked

"Sadie, inside voice."

"Sorry Katie."

"Who are you?" Red Claw asked

"Good question miss Evanovich, the names Steinreich, Doctor Hans Edward Nygma-Steinreich to be professional."

"Wait, Nygma? Any relation to Riddler?" Joker asked

"Why, Noah is my stepbrother."

"I do not see any resemblance." Katie pondered

"They're not related you dope!" Red Claw sneered.

"Ohhhhhhhh."

"Okay ignoring tweedle Dumb and tweedle Dummy, why are we here?" Joker asked

"Alright, alright, you are here because you are one of Gotham Cities worst, correct?" all heads nodded. "Right, I am both a retired prison warden, as well as an active psycho-analyst and electronics technician."

"So many big words!" Penguin yelled

"Okay, so why are we here?" Bane asked

"I want to test your true limits...see exactly what makes you villains tick...so perhaps you will all fare easier for the police and Batman."

"Oh! Batman!"

"Figures Pointy Ears would be involved-"

"Now-now, Batman hasn't the foggiest clue you're here." Steinreich added.

"And I'm zertain he vould not approve of zhis kind of tesht."

"VERTIGO!" everyone shouted

"Ah Count, nice to see you've joined us."

"Alright Stein, what's the big idea?" Penguin asked

"Yeah that guy's a total psycho!"

"Takez vone to know vone Joker." Vertigo mused

"So, this is just a test to screw us over right?" Ventriloquist asked

"Uh, sure if you want to look at it that way." Hans shrugged

"Great!" they yelled sarcastically.

"So Hans, where are we exactly?" Bane asked

"Welcome, to Verrukt!" Hans extended his hands "Look around, you are currently standing in the courtyard of a decommissioned, dilapidated old Asylum just outside of Dusseldorf Germany."

"Germany...as in...Europe?" Ventriloquist asked

"Zhere's only vone you fool." Vertigo sneered "Ah, beautiful Deustchland, vhere zhe strudel is sveet, and yodeling iz intoxicating. Ah, I am home."

"Alright, whatever, so how do we escape?" Joker asked

"Simple, you don't."

"We don't?"

"You don't! Vhat are you all deaf?" Vertigo asked

"The only thing you lot need to worry about is how to survive. And by survive I mean by my army of mutant, insane zombies."

"GASP!"

In fact an army of mutated insane zombies slowly approached them.

"Isn't it great? The fine men and women at Treyarch have been so good to me." Hans smirked

"Uh, Joker, what do we do?" Ventriloquist asked

"Me? Why do you all just look at me?" Joker asked

"Cause you're always the one with the plan!

"Well, this is true-Hah-hah-hah-hah-hah, alright kids, I got an idea, grab those rocks!" the others seemed reluctant "DO IT!" they picked up the rocks...Bane picked up a boulder "This is a little game I like to call rush the new guy...just find one or two guys...and waste em!" the others wasted no time, and started to mow down the zombies.

"Very resourceful." Hans clapped

"Yeah! Now why don't you give us a challenge you ugly psycho!" Sadie yeleld

"What! I am not a...No...Angry...not...now-! AHHHHH!" his face morphed into Angry Hans

"I am not a psycho! I'll show you! I'll show all of you!" he snapped his fingers, and just like that, the villains disappeared. And Hans regained control of his body

"Hans, are you okay?" Vertigo asked

"Yeah...yeah I'm fine...Ergh! Dammit! I don't like being called crazy!"

"Right right, chill be cool man."

"Sorry, don't worry Vertigo we'll have all the tests we need, starting with the individual tests, with these in our posession, we'll be famous in the law enforcement world."

"Qvite right. Vhen should ve tell zhem zhat zhis iz jusht a zimulation?"

"When the time is right, they'll soon learn that they're in no real danger...for now."

Vertigo and Hans lifted up the virtual reality helmets which kept them tethered into the virtual reality world.

They found themselves in a room, on chairs, in that room were tons of monitors and keypads and all that such, a window leads into another room, where the villains still were inside that sick game.

"I want to make sure we can get every test to find every possible weakness in each villain." Hans said reading some results on a screen.

"Right, but vhat happenz if zhe Batman vere to find uz?"

"He won't trust me, Batman has more important things to do than come looking for a few of his rogues which he probably doesn't realize are missing in the first place. Besides." Hans looked at his pocket watch "It's nearly 4:00."

"Vhat do you zuppose zhe Batman doez during zhe day?" Vertigo asked

"You know, I'm not sure...But I'm sure whatever it is, it's very important...or perhaps he sleeps during the day."

NOOOOOT!

At his office Trent was busy doing some stereotypical office type things.

"Wayne Enterprises, Trent Wayne here. Yes Mr. Takahashi I did get your portfolio on those new GPS devices, and they look fantastic-oh hold on, got another call-Wayne Enterprises, Trent Wayne here...No Cody, that is not how you get motor oil off a carpet-wait a second, why are you asking me this anyhow-hello...Uh, sorry Mr. Takahashi, yes we will move ahead with those GPS devices, great, let's do lunch-Lucius, what can I do you for?" his subordinate walked in

"Uh, is this a bad time Mr. Wayne?"

"As long as you make it quick, how important is it?"

"Uh...how do I put this, I was ready today's paper...you might want to read the front page." he placed it on Trent's desk.

"Joker...Bane...The Ventriloquist&Sadieface, Harley Quinn, Red Claw, and Penguin...mysteriously abducted?"

"Yeah."

"..." Trent fell back into his chair, then called his secretary. "Carol."

"_Yes Mr. Wayne?"_

"Cancel my appointments."

"_Very good sir."_

"Well, looks I'll be busy tonight."

Back at the secret facility Hans was redirecting where he wanted his captives to go.

"Alright, everything should be in place."

"Exzept, vere mizzing vone pieze to zhe puzzle."

"Oh, you're right-" they saw Harley walk through the courtyard on one of the monitors

"_Hello, Mistah J? Anyone? I made you that sandwich, and let me tell you it wasn't easy."_

"Come on." the two went back into virtual reality. They landed on that balcony.

"Muzt ve explain ourzelves again?" Vertigo asked

"To Harley Quinn? Ha, I'd sooner talk to a lump of drying cement." Hans simply snapped his fingers and away she went.

"Vhere vill zhey end up?"

"Simple..."

. . .

Joker...will end up in the main theater room, being so cocky and over confident, this will prove to be his downfall.

. . .

As for the Ventriloquist I had them both separated across a long corridor, if Katie Wesker wishes to get her precious doll back, she must navigate through the cell block to find it.

. . .

Red Claw will be placed in the boiler room, given her hands-on nature, I have had her tied up, let's see how long she can last with this handicap.

. . .

Bane will be placed in the kitchen, I know he's a master cook, body builder, and mommas boy, let's see how that pans out.

. . .

I have placed Penguin back in the courtyard, where a bunch of ravonous zombies will be attempting to devour the two things he loves most...food and birds, I want him to snap.

. . .

And as for Harley, she will be in the basement, the dark...dark...scary, unforgiving basement, without the Joker to tell her what to do all the time, she will have to rely on everything she has to survive and get free...

. . .

"Believe me Vertigo...I am certain they will not last long..." he morphed into angry Hans

"Cause two heads are better than one...But one head makes for some crazy times...AHA-HA-HA-HA! We'll see who has the last laugh once WERE through with them!"

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	106. Verrukt, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Batman was talking to Dr. Leland at Arkham, the two were walking through the cell block.

"I'm not sure how Batman, but Bane, Joker, Harley, Ventriloquist, Penguin, and Red Claw, all gone." she said

"Six people...and a puppet more or less don't just disappear without a trace Doctor. What about the cameras, what did they see?" Batman asked

"Were not sure, whoever did this knew what they were doing, they cut the cameras before they entered. The strange thing is, no one knew what happened, all the guards and inmates claim everything was so slow and distorted, then; they were gone." she explained

"Wait a minute...distorted?" Batman asked

"Yes I'm afraid so."

"Hmm..." Batman pondered. "Molecular distortion...could very well impair the mind into thinking it's been slowed down."

"Well yes."

"But, who...who could possibly do that at will." he continued to ponder, as he explored they're cells. "Wait a minute...Count Vertigo!"

"The German Guy with the lisp who worked for Ra's Al Ghul?" Leland asked

"The very same...but what could a psycho like Vertigo possibly want with some of the cities worst criminals...All he was interested in was expensive weapons."

"Maybe he wants them to find him items of interest so he can fence it in order to purchase weaponry?" she suggested.

"No, that's not his style, he'd rather do it himself, makes everything move smoother, no middle man, no collateral damage, easy, quick job." Batman explained.

"Well then I'm stumped Batman." Leland shrugged

"Hmm..." the Caped crusader scratched his chin. "Well hang on, collaboration might be below him, but being a hired gun is not."

"Yes, but every major criminal is either here, at Stonegate or missing."

"You're sure?"

"Of course."

"Hmm...wait, there is one man I know who may find value in all these villains." he exited the cell

"Ra's Al Ghul?" Leland asked

"No. If I know Ra's, and I most certainly do, kidnapping incarcerated convicts is far below him. Besides he and Vertigo haven't worked together since he ordered his only daughter to kill him. There's still one man around who would want these villains in their place." he started to walk away.

"So, in case the Commissioner asks, where will you be?"

"New Jersey."

"Yup, he's finally lost it." Leland shook her head.

Meanwhile inside the virtual world, we first go to Joker, armed with nothing his dukes, wits, joker gas lapel, the collection of knives in his pockets, and whatever else his brain could utilize.

"Oh no! Forty of you and only one of little old me, how will I ever survive? Hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah! Oh this will be easier then Harley on April Fools day." Ah, aren't subtle sex jokes a hoot?

Hans watched from the upper balcony. And wrote stuff down on a clipboard.

"Joker, uses sarcasm to cover fear."

"Alright Zombs, lets do what the thousands upon millions of gamers do worldwide on a daily basis, I of course will 100% melee so go easy on me hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm." he drew some knives.

"Grrr...Kill joker." the zombies said in raspy voices.

"Get him."

"Get himmm..." they hissed

"And...a slice! AHA-HA-hA-HA-HA!" Joker turned the zombie onslaught into shish kabobs.

"Kill him!"

"Kill him now!" they hissed some more.

"Huh, Joker is very resourceful with tools, as well as his own conventional non-conventional tactics, works well under pressure." Hans said to himself. Then Angry stepped I

"Yes Hans, but lets see how he fairs when he gets tired ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Joker was finishing up, he saw there were only three more zombies left, clustered together.

"Well, this should be a snap, care for a whiff boys-Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" he sprayed them with the acid and laughing gas mixture. They melted instantly. "Aw, no grins or laughter...just a quick and melty death-"

"Clap—clap-clap-clap. Very good Joker, you perform well." Angry called from the balcony. He walked away changing back into Hans.

"Hey crazy, if this is the best you got I can't wait to see the worst Aha!"

Vertigo was observing The Ventriloquist in action, she was calmly, yet frightfully walking through the cell block ever knowing anyone could simply jump her.

"It's okay Katie...you can do this...you can totally do this..." Vertigo too marked things down

"Ventriloqvist seems qvite frightened ant alone vithout her preshious doll."

"It's okay Katie...it's alright-I'M COMING SADIEFACE!" she shouted "Just as soon...as...I-Gasp!" she saw two zombies

"Ha-ha-ha-ha, all too easy."

"Come on."

"Oh no!"

No they got her." Vertigo whispered

"And once were finished with you-"

"We'll get your precious doll too ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"No...NOOO! I...WON'T...LET...YOUUUUU!" she destroyed the zombies and ran to Sadie at the other end of the corridor. "SADIE!" she gave her a hand

"EEEEEEEEE! You found me, good work dummy."

"Hey, language!"

"Hmm...zhe doll is zhe key to Veskerz motivashion." Vertigo said to himself.

And now to Bane who was merrily making some stuff in the kitchen...that will of course taste amazing.

"And there we go...yum, the perfect muscle stimulant...bourbon steak with caramelized onions and stir fry vegetables."

"Yes Bane...just like your mother was the key to our satisfaction last night." one zombie said, several more entered.

"What did you say...about...my...MOMMA!"

"Oh nothing, just that shes easier than a 50 year old rock bottom red light district whore." OOOOH That is like a machine gun to the gonads, that is lower than the center of the freaking earth!

"What! Pal you shouldn't have made me angry, cause you wouldn't like me when I'm angry...just ask the Hulk...or the Thing...and Croc kinda gets under my skin too so ask him." he juiced himself up.

"Oh boy."

Hans watched the scene...very brutal and graphic I might add.

"Hmm, Bane is both protective, and sensitive about his mother to a point of aggravated grandiose." he said he walked away

"Oh please! I'm already dead, no not the face-WHACK!"

Next we go to Red Claw, still chanined up and being loaded into the boiler by more zombies.

"Try and get out of this one."

"Oh you really want me to, well okay." you don't even want to know the complex crap she did. Vertigo watched the zombie beatdown.

"Hmm, very rezourceful even vith little or no equipment."

Penguin seemed to do the same as Bane.

"How dare you hurt those innocent little fyling majestic beauties! I'll clean your clocks with the sub!"

"Hmm, Cobblepot likes to use food as a weapon." Hans said

Harley was probably the best. She was walking through the dark and scary basement.

"Alright Harl, sing, yeah singing always makes the soul smoother and cleans the mind, plus you'll feel better." what a ditz.

"Grr." some zombies said in the near distance.

"AHHHHHHHH! HELP MEEEE!" she rushed them all, and accidentally beat them up in the process, and somehow navigated her way to the stairs.

"Huh, Qvinn is sho serendipitously shtupid it actually vorks in her vavor." Vertigo wrote.

Back in their office Vertigo and Hans compared some notes

"Well, it's official, when alone they seem to work freakin great!"

"Vell zhen Hans, vhat if zhey vorked togezher, ja? Vith all zhe conflicting ideaz, it should be an eazy victory vor our zombies."

"Of course...when in victory they seem complacent, which leads to being over-confident, and what is does over confidence cause 90% of the time Vertigo?"

"Vailure Dr. Shteinreich."

"Right. I got one last arrow in my quiver, check it out." he placed a blueprint on the table.

"Nice."

Batman recklessly searched Hans' house to find some sort of clue that he was involved somehow.

"Come on, come on...gimme a sign here, bingo!" he found his answer. "I knew it, a virtual reality studio in Fair Haven, huh, that's not far at all, and look plans for each of the missing villains, this is going to be easy, if I can get there in time!" he ran for the Batmobile. And drove off towards nearby Fair Haven.

The villains regrouped in the courtyard waiting for their next test.

"Alright you German crazies!" Joker yeleld

"Were waaaaaaaaiting!" Red Claw added

"Alright zhen villains, prepare yourselves vor-"

"You're ultimate demise!" Evil Hans finished a horde of mutant zombies surrounded them, they're faces looked just like Evil Hans.

"Ewwwww!"

"Gross man!"

"What happened to them?"

"With the very formula that created me, Nova-6, let's see you try and eliminate them now."

"Ah! There's too many of them!" Penguin yelled trying to kill them with his multi-purpose umbrella.

"We can't beat them!"

"I knew it! Zhis was all too-"

"What!" Hans noticed that one by one the villains started to disappear.

"But-but that's unpossible! Unless." the two took off their helmets to see the same had been done to the villains. And Batman the one doing it

"Gasp! Zhe Batman!"

"Oh, how did he find out!" the Dark Knight launched an exploding Batarang at the window.

"Oh no-[ka-boom]" it exploded carrying Vertigo to the opposite wall, and Hans out the nearest window and onto the cold ground outside. Both were slow to get up. And needless to say all they're equipment was completely destroyed.

Vertigo gasped when he saw Batman leap right for him, and he was grabbed by the collar.

"Ve, ve vere trying to help you Batman, honest!"

"I appreciate the gesture Vertigo, but kidnapping prisoners is still a crime."

"Oh come onnnnn!" the Count begged.

"Sorry, but justice has to be served." SLAM he threw Vertigo against the nearest wall knocking him silly.

"Now, where to find...Steinreich?" Batman looked out the other window to find he had disappeared, just as the police arrived. Batman saw a note where the Doctor had landed.

Batman,

A helping hand seems to go unnoticed so I will wash my hands of you.

Sincerely yours,

Dr. Hans Edward Nygma-Steinreich.

"Great, as if one Riddler was bad enough."

Steinreich wa son the roof of a nearby building watching the situation

"This isn't over, not by a long shot."

The villains were all arrested. Trent was sitting in his study back at the manor studying the note, Alfred brought him some tea.

"Still analyzing that note Master Trent?"

"Yes."

"Oh." he poured him some tea.

"I know he and Vertigo meant well, after all, virtual reality is nothing like the real world...but the kidnapping is just out of the question."

"So, what do you think he'll do now?"

"I'm not sure Alfred, but I'm sure whatever it is...it can't have a positive outcome, Hans is a madman with a secret demon living inside of him whose even crazier than he is. Could be anything.

"With a demon like that sir you must ask yourself...How far is...too far?"

"Well, I guess we'll just wait and see won't we?"

"Only time will tell master Trent, only time will tell."

**THE END!**

**K guys, we finally have an easy rewrite coming up, Thank God all these original ideas are killing me, I need a short break. It's all about our dear friend Chef, then we got some Killer Croc, then our season 5 finale! So PLEASE REVIEW! And have yourself a nice long winter break!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

_**Guest Starring...**_

**John Glover: **Hans Steinreich

**Maurice LaMarche: **Count Vertigo

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Evil Hans, zombies

**Drew Nelson: **Joker

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Harley Quinn, The Ventriloquist

**Cle Bennett: **Bane

**Julia Chantrey: **Red Claw

**Scott McCord: **Penguin

**Lauren Lipson: **Sadieface

**Frank Welker: **zombies

**Kevin Michael Richardson: **zombies

**Mark Hamill: **zombies

**Jim Cummings: **zombies

**Suzanne Stone: **Dr. Joan Leland

**Morgan Freeman: **Lucius Fox

**Tara Strong: **Carol


	107. A Bullet For Bullock, Part I

**Villain: Vinny the Shark (special guest appearance)**

**Episode Rewrite: A Bullet For Bullock (1995)**

**Written By: Michael Reaves**

**Directed By: Frank Paur**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 52: A Bullet For Bullock**

Twas the week after Christmas, and Chef Bullock was walking. To his apartment with groceries, whilst someone else was stalking.

"Humph, stupid snow...stupid transmission." Chef complained, he was forced to walk in the cold due to his car being in the shop. "Of all the weeks to bust. This must be the coldest winter on record." Just feet behind him some masked guy sped up in his car and tried to whack Detective

[SCREEEEEEE]

"WHOA!" Chef quickly dove into the nearest ally, and fired his pistol as the car drove away. "Grr..."

The following evening Batman swung onto the roof of police headquarters responding to the call of the aptly named Bat-Signal, he noticed the roof was empty.

"Commissioner?" Batman asked looking around

"Nope, just me." Bullock walked in the open, picking at his teeth with a toothpick "I gotta problem."

"And you want my help?"

"Look Bats lets get something straight from the git-go, I think you're a freak and a menace and those are your good points, but the Commish' claims you serve a purpose so I go along, and besides wouldn't be the first time I've asked for help. Remember with Croc and Montoya?"

"Right, and I appreciate your honesty, what's the problem?" Batman asked, Chef walked towards the edge of the roof.

"Someone's got it in for me, tried to give me a fender massage last night, wouldn't be the fist time, last week too."

"I see, any suspects?"

"Hell I dunno so many they could have their own zip code, I put a lot of guys away and they for sure hate me for it. I guess one of them hates me enough to actually do something about it."

"Okay, so why come to me? Why not just go to the department?"

"Ah I step on a lot of toes, I don't want Internal Affairs looking at me any closer then they already are. They might find some things I don't want found."

"Are you on the take?" Batman asked

"WATCH IT FREAK! I NEVER TOOK A DIME FROM NOBODY!" Bullock fumed "I just bend the rules a little, you understand, were not that much different you and I."

"We may be on the same team and fight for the same outcome! But we are not the same!" Batman got up in his face. "I help find out whose after you, but you have to collar them clean got it? This probably isn't like what happened with Killer Croc and Courtney Bullock, so it has to be done right, understand?"

"Yeah sure, on this disc, final copies of all my cases, my laptop's busted, go figure, and I don't wanna run them on the system here." Chef explained handing Batman a CD. "Just find the guy and I'll take it from there, sound fair, partner-huh?" he turned his head for but a second, and Batman was gone. "Damn freak of nature."

Bullock walked back to his apartment building several blocks from the station house. He entered the lobby and checked his mailbox. His shoes were covered in mud and slush, which of course tracked all over the floor.

"Ha-ha, figures, more threatening mail." he chuckled, all this was to the chagrin of the Super/landlord Carl Nivens, a germaphobe and clean-freak. He angrily walked from his front door in his robe and confronted the lazy detective.

"You know there's a doormat outside Mr. Bullock."

"Really? I thought you were the only doormat around here Nivens." Chef started for the stairs. Then flicked his used toothpick at Niven's robe.

"Ew!"

"Don't crowd me dork or I'll wipe my feet on you!" Chef warned, he walked upstairs.

"Just take out your garbage already! Your apartment stinks! I won't have roaches living in my building! AND TURN YOUR HEAT DOWN WHEN YOUR OUT ALL DAY!"

"Go suck a dick Nivens!"

"Grrrrrrr!"

Bullock entered his dark apartment, he noticed it looked like a man with a gun was at the other end, he drew his gun and turned on the light.

"Whew." the gunman was just his other trenchcoat and hat on the hat rack, with roaches on the wall surrounding it, they crawled back into their hole.

The detective made himself some hot coco, and walked onto his balcony, seeing a nice sign at a nicer apartment building across the street advertizing a better rate. "Thank Heaven for rent control." he said.

Back at the Bat-Cave, Batman was on the Bat-Computer going over the files on Bullock's cases, Alfred was there for assistance and sarcasm.

"We are speaking about the same person are we not? Harvey Bullock? The detective who looks like an unmade bed?"

"Uh-huh."

"He came to you for help?"

"Yup."

"Well, then it must be serious."

"It'll take the system awhile to collate and cross-index the names, I'll be back." Batman said getting up from his chair

"And where are you headed? I thought you finished your rounds for the evening."

"Not yet, I have a feeling Bullock is going to need a guardian angel."

Bullock and Montoya were searching an old apartment building in Bayside, on the hunt for some crooks.

"Stay shard Montoya, these perps are bad news, scared a couple a bank guards Christmas day." they started for the stairs.

"Oh, more criminals taking advantage of the holiday season." she sighed

They stacked up on their apartment door, and kicked it in

"Police! Nobody move!" Courtney ordered

Two of the crooks counting the money raised their hands, one however was stubborn enough to run for the window over the fire escape and go for the roof.

"Hey hold it! Montoya I got this one you take those two!" Bullock climbed after him, he searched through the roof, which was a maze of vents and smoke stacks

"Give it up hairball!" he ordered. Bullock kept looking around making sure his shotgun was at the ready, the crook was smart, he drew his gun, and jumped behind the detective he aimed, but s he fired, he was tackled to the ground by Batman, just in time.

"Gah-[thud]"

Bullock turned around to see the Bat handcuffing the crook.

"What are you doing here?"

"Watching your back. And good thing too."

"I asked you to find a name not hold my hand." charming.

"You're welcome." Batman said Bullock cuffed the guy. "I have some questions though."

"Later after my shift, where do I find you?" Bullock asked

"I'll find you." Bullock turned around, and Batman was gone. "Show off." he picked the crook up. Courtney joined up on the roof.

"Harvey, need any help?"

"Naw, just reading this jerkoff his rights, you have the right to remain silent, if you give up that right you'll probably bore me to tears so keep your trap shut dog breath!"

Bullock returned to his dark apartment, and saw a dark figure, he turned on the lights only to discover it was just Batman.

"Questions remember?"

"Jee-eesh! You take some chances freak!" he walked in.

"Are these all the threatening letters you've received?"

"Yeah, I'm thinking of starting a scrap book." he grabbed some pizza and a soda

"You've dusted them for prints?"

"Yup, nada, all in serial killer letters all hand delivered to my mailbox."

"Someones clearly going through a lot to threaten you, but I don't think they're trying to kill you."

"Yeah, well that attack last night seemed pretty sincere."

"Look Harvey, a professional would do you in here, not on the street."

"So what, a guy who gets whacked by an amateur is just as stiff as a pro job, and hey; when you gonna gimme that list of names?" he turned to see Batman jump from the balcony.

"I wonder how Gordon puts up with this?"

Bullock had his cravings a calling so he went for a doughnut run, which was conveniently across from the subway, Bullock felt safe there...NOT. The platform seemed empty, as Chef waited for his train. When he looked at his watch again, he was pushed right onto the track.

"Gah-whoa-[thud]! Gasp-AHHHHHHHH!" Chef looked up to see the train headed right for him. ...Commercial...

Fortunately Chef dove out of the way and onto the median. Once it passed he got back up on the platform. Only to notice his donuts were all over the floor

"GAHHHHH! I' dealing with a psychopath here!"

The next evening Bullock sat alone at his desk, the only place he felt safe. Montoya looked at him.

"Bullock? You okay, you don't look so good, I mean you never look good, but now you look worse." Courtney said trying to be heartfelt.

"Ha, after 15 years working in this cesspool I'd like to see you look your best."

"I'm only fooling, what are you doing for new years?"

"Same thing I did for Christmas, my laundry."

"Okay then Scrooge." she walked away. And Batman entered through the window.

"Well?" Chef asked

"I ran through the list, and you were right Bullock, a lot of people don't like you. But does the name Vincent Starkey mean anything to you?"

"Vinny the Shark, yeah. Ran a lot of drug labs, I broke one up in South Gotham when I was in Vice. Got 10-20 in Stonegate, douchebag even threatened me in open court too."

"Starkey was a model prisoner, he only did 8 years...he's out Bullock, and possibly out for revenge."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**And HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!**

**8 maids a milkin 7 maids a milkin 6 maids a milkin 5 maids a milk-gah!  
**


	108. A Bullet For Bullock, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"I cost him an empire Pointy Ears...he'd love to see me take a dirt nap." Chef said "Where do we find him?"

"I'm working on it. I want you to follow upon a lead." Batman said turning towards the window

"Hey, what am I some wet eared Rookie? No one tells me how to conduct an investigation-oh jeez!" Batman turned and grabbed Chef by the collar

"DO YOU WANNA LIVE BULLOCK?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Then pay attention." he let him go "Summer Gleeson did an expose on South Gotham crack houses last week, surely one of the interviewees or maybe Summer herself could know something about Vinny, if he's even up to his old tricks." Batman explained

"Okay, sounds easy enough, ask the girl for info, piece of cake, but wait; what are you gonna do?" Chef ask, Batman was already at the ledge, firing a bat hook to another building

"I'm gonna...make a few...inquiries." he flew away.

"Inquiries?" Bullock ran for the window "What do you mean inquiries? Hey pal this is my life were talking about here! Bats...BATS!"

At Gotham News Summer was hard at work in her film room cutting the days scenes together so it didn't look like a TV media freshman student did the work. Anyway Bullock charged in.

"Bullock? What are you doing here?" she asked with a little disgust

"Need a favor Gleeson, that shoot you did in crack town?" Chef asked

"You still owe me for the last favor I did you...and the one before that...and the one before that? You want I should get my list?"

"Hey Summer, where's your Christmas spirit, you know you can trust me?" Chef asked trying to schmooze

"Ha! Trust you? I trust you about as far as I can throw you Harvey! Besides, you're one to talk about Christmas spirit, I'd swear you and the Grinch were related somehow."

"Come on Gleeson." Chef was really pouring on the schmoozing

"You're lucky I talk to you at all Bullock. Sigh, tell you what, come back in an hour."

"I ain't got an hour, I gotta Bat running through town knocking over dealers and junkies to find a Shark, and I gotta Shark trying to rub me out, and you playing hard ball ain't exactly helping!"

"A bat eh? Which one?" Summer asked suddenly intrigued (this part didn't happen in the actual episode I wanted to spice it up)

"None of your Newscasting business, you gonna tell me about Vinny the Shark or what?"

"You wanna find a shark, go jump in the bay, and look at it this way, you'll make the 6 o'clock news."

"Oh no, you wanna go there, I'll just have to go, here." Chef took out his phone "Hello, District Attorney Van Dorn please...yes I'll hold."

"What are you doing Bullock?" Summer asked

"You'll see Miss Picky." . . . "Beth? How you doing it's Harvey Bullock...C-Chef? You know Detective Bullock. Yeah that's me. Listen I was wondering if I could trouble you for a warrant to search Summer Gleeson's office I-yes, the Anchorwoman. Why? Uh...cause shes being a pain in my ass, Vinny the Shark's trying to kill me and Cowl Head is running through town trying to help me, that's why!"

"Grr, you're not gonna win Chef!" Summer fumed

"Watch me...r-really, thanks Beth, so just her office...yes I get it...only her office, I won't break anything-sure now you remember me, okay bye." he hung up.

Meanwhile back on the streets, a dealer was selling off some crack, and business I booming.

"Here you are my friend, and a happy new year to ya. Ah free enterprise, what makes America great." he said counting the money. Suddenly, he was grabbed by Batman who swung them both up onto a building's ledge.

"Whooooooooooa-[thud] B-B-B-Batman! W-what do ya want?"

"Not what slimeball, who!" he held him over the edge "Vinny the Shark!"

"H-H-He's not my connection anymore."

"And wrong answer, care to play again?" he attached a bat hook to his left ankle, and let him fall.

"WHOOOOOOOOOA!" he dropped him like a bungee cord near street level, about 6 feet above the pavement, tearing him back up to the ledge right before a huge truck turned him into a bug on a windshield.

"Take two?" Batman asked

"Okay-okay-okay! What do you want?"

And back at the News building.

"Oh no you don't, youe not searching my office!" Summer fumed

"Oh yes I am!"

"No you're not!"

"Yes I am!"

"You're abusing your power as a cop Bullock-again! And as a dedicated anchor, it's my sworn duty to expose it!"

"Okay, sure, just like it's my duty as a detective, to do this."

"H-Hey!" he handcuffed Summer to her chair, and stormed out into the hallway headed for her office. "I'll be back in a few.

"Grr-grr! Dammit, huh." she moved in her chair a little "You moron! It's a swivel chair!" She yelled, then rolled to follow chef, she opened the door with her good hand to see he had already gotten to work.

"Well aren't you a piece of work." she rolled in.

"Relax Gleeson."

"I'll relax when this shark guy or whatever his name is turns you into fish meal!" knock-knock-knock

Batman appeared on the window, outside. Chef opened it up

"Pointy Ears, right on time."

"Yeah, uh...what happened?" Batman asked looking about the office.

"She was giving me a hard time."

"I can see that. Anyway, I found out where the shark is, he's running rock crystal out of a warehouse in Bayside, not far from where you and Courtney searched last night."

"Good." they went for the door.

"Uh, Harvey, aren't you forgetting something?" he asked pointing to an angry Summer Gleeson

"Oh yeah, right."

The two drove in the Batmobile to the warehouse and waited on the roof.

"Lucky you didn't press that passenger ejector seat."

"Hey, it's been awhile since I rode in your starship, I forgot."

"Still, one thing doesn't make sense, Vinny isn't one to make idle threats, why would he warn you to leave town?"

"Ah the sicko wanted to see me sweat. Come on, let's get this over with."

Inside, Starkey's men were hard at work processing drugs to see to all the washed up deadbeats and junkies of Gotham city. They were placing their product in pressure sealed canisters, and loading them onto trucks.

"Careful with that merchandise boys, you break it you buy it, capice?" the old Vinny warned

From the catwalks above Batman swooped in, and broke everything up, literally.

"Gasp!"

"It's the Batman!" wasn't long before he seemed to have subdued the others, from behind Vinny raised his gun, only for it to be shot from his hand

"Nobody move!" Yelled Chef, he fell in, riding a crane hook to the floor.

"Nice entrance, I see you still haven't lost your sense of timing." Vinny snapped his fingers, and suddenly an old car, simply the body fell.

"Look out Harvey!" Batman pulled Bullock under so they wouldn't be crushed, but they were trapped inside, Vinny's men surrounded the car.

"Taking out the Batman will make me look good in Gotham but the real pleasure will be taking you out Bullock!" ...commercial...

"8 years I waited for this moment Bullock, and now it's payback time."

With quick thinking Batman tossed a smoke pellet, laced with a little tear gas. This confused the henchmen, and Vinny. Batman put on his gas mask and opened the door, he and Bullock climbed out. Chef couched a little through his jacket arm.

Batman first turned his attention to Vinny, knocking him to the floor.

"Ahhhhhh!" Then knocked two more of his goons over, street fighter style...Bullock turned to a disoriented henchmen, and tackled him to the floor.

"Gahhhhhhhhh!"

Batman punched another one out cold. Then another. Vinny got up, to see both men were busy with his goons, so he thought it was time to go.

After polishing off another one, Bullock turned his attention to Vinny, who was making a break for it. Chef sprinted atop the catwalks above, jumping onto a crane chain he swung down kicking Vinny to the floor.

"Oof!" he turned to see Chef, with his own gun.

"Merry Christmas Vinny, and happy New Year! Just call me Santa!"

"No!"

"And guess whose on top of my naughty list."

"No Bullock!" Batman ran over

"Relax Cowl Head this scumbag doesn't get off that easy. The rest of the gang?"

"Taken care of."

"Salude, I'll send for a wagon." he handcuffed the shark.

"You sure it's over?" Batman asked

"Had to be Vinny, yeah it's over."

"It's your call."

"By the way, I still think you're a freak, but...thanks." he looked to see Batman had disappeared "Every freakin time."

Vinny found himself in the interrogation room with Bullock and Montoya.

"Okay Vinny, they say confession is good for the soul...you wanna tell me why you sent me those threatening messages?"

"You've taken one too many shots to the head Bullock. What letters?"

"Listen scum face I don't feel like playing games!" he grabbed Vinny by the collar "I gotta pile of paperwork on my desk and Internal Affairs is all over me like a cheap suit, now spill!"

"Or what? You'll send me to prison? I'm telling ya I don't know what your talking about!"

"Ergh! Get him out of here!" Chef ordered, two officers took him out

"You sure about this Harvey?" Courtney asked

"It had to be him Montoya, there ain't anyone else."

Bullock walked back to his apartment, but as he was about to open the front door to the building

"You should have taken my advice Bullock! You should have left town! I tried to scare you out, I didn't want it to have to come to this!" he turned around to see a masked man with a gun.

"Wait...I know you." Chef said as if the guy didn't have a gun. He got closer

"Stay back! You wouldn't take the hints! So now I have to settle it this way! It's your fault, I tried to warn you!" he reached for the trigger, but Batman as always swooped in, and knocked him over "Oof!"

"I thought it wasn't over." Bullock walked over to the guy, and took his mask off, revealing

"Nivens! My landlord!"

"Why wouldn't you move!" the new psycho asked "You and your late hours and your filthy habits! Do you have any idea what your apartment's worth these days?" he asked getting all up in his grill.

"You wanted my apartment? You mean all this sh*t was about rent control?" Chef asked getting less scared and more pissed

"NO! I wanted you gone! You insult me you treat me like dirt! NO JURY IN THE WORLD WOULD HAVE CONVICTED ME!" he fell over laughing. "Aha-aha-aha-AHA-HA-HA-HA!"

"Someone like Vinny wants to pop me that's no surprise, but this?" he took out his second pair of cuffs "You know I was thinking about moving anyway, neighborhoods really going down hill. Look, thanks again Bats, you know, for everything."

"Don't mention it Bullock, you've got enough problems." Batman said before swinging away. Chef sighed and walked Nivens towards Police HQ.

**The End...**

**Okay guys we wind it down again, that episode did conveniently take place around Christmas time so that was nice. We got some Killer Croc up next, then our season 5 finale with a look back into Mr. Freeze. Hope you enjoy and REVIEW!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Courtney Montoya

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Tom Kane: **Carl Nivens

**Billy West: **Vinny the Shark

**Mari Devon: **Summer Gleeson

**Tom Kenny: **Dealer

**Carlos Alazaraqui: **Additional Voices


	109. Down On the Bayou, Part I

**Villain: Killer Croc**

**Episode Archive: ORIGINAL!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Frank Paur**

**Teleplay By: Steve Perry&Alan Burnett**

**Art Direction: Chris Tucker**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 53: Down On the Bayou**

Batman, Robin and Batgirl were examining the empty cell of Killer Croc. Along with Commissioner Chris Gordon and two officers, whose...well names aren't that important.

"Yup...he escaped alright." Chris said

"Oh dad." Batgirl whispered

"Yes Chris, question is, where would someone like Croc go. I mean given his mannerisms could be anywhere from the bay to an Abercrombie&Fitch."

"Well, Montoya was the reason he went all psycho in the first place, I suggest we place a tight perimeter around her."

"Can't Commish, Courtney's on vacation this week." an officer said

"Figures, where?" Chris asked

"I think she something about visiting her brother Terrance, he owns an alligator hunting business in Louisiana."

"Let me guess, the bayou right?"

"Yeah, that's right."

"Dammit! Croc is part amphibian, that is his homeland!" Chris rubbed his temples "Batman, Croc is certain to be looking for Montoya there."

"Relax Chris, the three of us can take down Croc. And we'll save Courtney." Batman assured him

"Good, you sure you don't wanna take Chef with you-"

"NOOOO!"

"Huh?"

"Look Chris, I spent the last few days with Harvey and well...I just wanted to smack him silly."

"I know, I heard he got some lame warrant to search Summer Gleeson's office for being a pain in his ass." Chris chuckled

"Yup, lotta stuff went down, now; we best be off."

"Right Batman." Robin agreed

"Now are you certain you do not want to take...Chef?" Chris asked but they vanished "Some day, I am going to see how they do that." he shook his head.

"I will say Commish it is a good thing Harv is taking those sessions with the psychiatrist." the other officer said

"Yeah...just glad I don't have to see him cry."

. . .

I feel as though this has to be seen

"Then that pussy faced dumbass says I'm a pestilence! Last time in checked I was a human being! Then the dipspit says I treat him like dirt! HA! Me? I think I am a nice person."

"Now Harvey...you are a nice person, however, yelling at people, pushing them around to the brink of insanity...and handuffing people to chairs isn't a good way to make friends." the psychiatrist said in a cheery voice.

"Humph...and it was a swivel chair." he retorted

"Ugh, we got some work to do."

. . .

The team went and prepared at the Bat-Cave.

"Are you sure this is necessary sir?" Alfred asked

"Of course." Trent insisted.

"Alright, better run off your checklist-God forbid you forget something on your Cajun excursion."

"Go ahead Alfred."

"Bat suit."

"Check."

"Utility-Bat?"

"Check."

"Change of clothes."

"Check."

"Bat Scuba suit?"

"Of course."

"Master Cody I'll pay you my salary if you can tell me what Scuba translates." Alfred asked with a smirk

"That's easy uh...something...uh...colliding...unsurfaced...bat...aquatics?"

"Ugh...Self Contained Under-water Breathing Apparatus...do open a book Master Cody, or perhaps watch a documentary instead of the Family Man, American Boy, The Cincinnati Show or those dreadful Animaniacs." Alfred shook his head "Alright Master Trent, seems everything is in order, now allow me to check your bags Master Cody...Uh let's see, Robin suit, Utility belt, water proof shoes, enough Batarangs to supply a small Arabian Militia, and so many Tastycakes if you were to bring them to a Weight Watchers meeting there would be a riot I'm sure."

"You're really pouring on the schtick today Alfred." Trent said suiting up in the Bat-suit.

"Are you SURE you're not reading Joker's new book?" Cody asked

"Oh don't be silly sir, I've just simply been watching too much Leno."

"Come on, you can never have too much Leno." Trent insisted

"Just like he can't have too much chin?" Alfred chuckled

"There he goes with the schtick."

"So when is Ms. Gordon meeting you?" Alfred asked

"Bridgette said she'd be here any minute...that must be her now." Bridgette sped on her motorcycle into the Bat-Cave through the secret entrance, with only a backpack on her back.

"Quick, start the Bat-Wing-HURRY!" she yelled

"Bridgette! One bag I see, that's not a female stereotype." Trent chuckled "Good shtick Alfred?"

"Eh, hit and miss sir."

"Well you're no fun."

"Screw that! Hurry up, start the damn thing!" Bridgette yelled

"Hey, what's your rush?" Trent asked Cowling up

"Yeah, where's the fire?"

"The fire Cody is, my dad wants us to spend some more time together, and it would be so nice if I did not...last time we spent time together, he nearly burned the Bowl-R-Rama to the ground!"

"You sure you didn't do that?" Cody asked

"Suck my vag Cody, and let's hit the bricks!" Batgirl shouted as she was already dressed

"Sorry, in a relationship, Sara is all the vag I need-"

"You and I both know you've gotten nothing from that psycho, NOW MOVE IT!" Batgirl ordered...sorry that's a little north of T. And certainly not K+ worthy.

"Hey I've gotten some boob! That's like 2nd base right-"

"THE BOTH OF YOU! SHUT-UP AND GET IN THE WING!" Batman yelled

"Yes sir." the two agreed

"Good luck all, and good hunting!" Alfred called as the Bat-Wing flew out of the Bat-Cave. "Ah, quiet...now for some more Leno."

Down in Louisiana where the sons build guns, the people of the swamp hunt gators, and the Saints keep on winning somehow, Croc was in fact swimming around the murky backwater of the back-country bayou, somewhere just west of New Orleans. Seriously Drew Brees is a fantastic QB, completely underrated.

"Aw-cough-cough-cough-aw-cough-can't believe I swam all the way from Gotham, but it was good exercise, and it will be well worth it once I finally have that botch Courtney Montoya in my clutches, now where did that nice alligator from Baton Rouge tell me her brother's address?" Croc looked around, and on a nearby swamp ranch, he saw Courtney talking to some guy near a swamp boat.

"Perfect...now to just swim around a little bit and-[crack]" he hit a submerged tree root "Damn swamp." he went under.

"Now listen up Courtney, if you wanna learn the secrets to gator huntin' I'm-a gonna show you the basics." her brother informed her.

"Whatever it takes Tom."

"Ha-ha-ha, that's my sister, now if our pain in my ass cousin would just hurry himself up-[tweeeeeeeet]-Yo Jimmy! Come on boy we gots some gators to hunt!"

"I'm coming Cousin Tommy! Jeesh." the younger boy entered the boat, with several guns.

"Alright then, let's go get us some gators!" Tom fired up the engine, and they headed off into the swamp.

"Ooh, Montoya going alligator hunting, perfect! Right into the Croc's natural element...the swamp...This is gonna be easier then the way these people make their Gator jumbalaya." Croc swam after the boat, blending in with the surroundings.

The Bat Team were closing in on the area reasonably quick.

"Alright, we'll park the wing in that clearing over there, and then get searching, sound good?" Batman asks

"Sure, whatever get's me away from-[vibrrrrrrrrates]-crud" Batgirl's phone vibrated.

"Hi Dad!"

"_Hey Bridge, I thought instead of bowling, cause you're kinda...not allowed back in there anymore after last time-_

"HA! I KNEW IT!"

"Shut-up Cody!" Batgirl whispered

"_Who was that?"_

"Who was what?"

"_Who made that noise?"_

"What noise?"

"_Don't play dumb the noise I just heard, whose there?"_

"Uh...the television?"

"_Oh okay, well I was thinking we can go putt-putt golfing, look I'll even bring my lucky putter."_

"Uh, look...going...through...tunnel...can't...spend time...with...you...bye." she quickly hung up. "Whew."

"You could have made a better excuse besides going through a tunnel." Batman said "So old school."

"Sh-shut-up! Look, what are we doing as a plan?" Batgirl asked

"I'll go in search for Croc in the Bayou, in the meantime, keep Courtney's family company in case he shows up."

"Right." they landed the Bat-Wing, and they went their separate ways.

The team on the Bayou were busy catching the gators stuck in their traps. I live in redneck country I can type gators if I want to.

"Really, it's as simply as shooting them and pulling them into the boat?" Courtney asked

"As sure as my name is Thompson Montoya-ha-ha-ha!" Tom yelped happily

"Come on Courtney, give it a try." Jim said handing her the rifle

"Well alright, how hard can it be?" she shrugged and took the gun. Jim noticed some bubbling just over Starboard...the right side.

"Eee-ooo! Looks like we got us a live one here, alright Courtney, just wait til the head pops up...no pressure now, easy does it." Jim said

"Okay." she aimed at the water...and as a surprise guess who rises from the water startling everyone

"I'm baaaaaaack!"

"Gasp! Croc!" Courtney yelled

"Damn dag-blasted radiation!" Jim yelled

"Shoot him Courtney shoot him!" she did, but there was a click

"Dammit, no ammo!"

"Well, well, well, look who has the upper hand-[chink]-ow!"

"Back off Croc!" Came Batman's voice who was in his scuba suit.

"So, look who decided to follow me all the way from Gotham city, ha-ha, figures. But you're in my element Bats, think you can keep up?"

"Easily."

"Fine then, I'll deal with you later Montoya." he jumped back under, as did Batman, and the two swam down the river

"Quick Tom, follow them they're headed for home!"

"Not if we beat them there they won't! Hold on tight kids!" The boat chased them in that general direction.

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW! Cause man is it late!  
**


	110. Down On the Bayou, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Batman found himself looking through the murky waters for Croc, and amidst the muddy waters Batman knew that somehow that devious little part crocodile part super model.

"Come on Croc...where the hell are you?" Batman asked himself, he could barely see in front of his face, and he knew his air supply would fade fast.

"I'm wherever I want to be Bats." Croc said from out of nowhere

"Where are you, show yourself!"

"Ha-ha, no way Bat-boy! I see now that this is my calling-this is where I belong."

"In the swamps?"

"In the swamps, yes. I'm like a King here...the gators love me and will listen to anything I say, unlike back on the surface...plus I can breathe under here."

"Your part amphibian moron of course you can breathe under here."

"Ah-ah, actually crocs are part reptile, thank you very much. And besides it may not be the best of situations, but at least I'm treated like something other than a common door stop...and I mean one of those cheap plastic door stops not like the cool ones the advertize on those shopping networks at like 3 in the morning." Croc explained

"Either way Jones, I'm dragging you back to Arkham, whether you like it or not."

"Yeah, I don't think so, see all I wanted to do was follow Montoya here and then see if I couldn't finally get my revenge, but you know what, once I deal with her, I think I'll stay."

"You're not staying Croc."

"Too bad Bats! I've made up my mind, and like it or not, Montoya and her dumbass family is gonna fry like catfish in a skillet, and I'm gonna stay here in the swamps of Louisiana!"

"You're insane."

"Ah, takes one to know one B-Man, and hey; you should be happy, this means I won't be terrorizing you or anyone else in Gotham anymore. You of all people can be happy about that, right?"

"NO! That only means you'd be terrorizing people of the swamp, and I can't be there to stop you, I would lie awake every night wondering who you're gonna terrorize next! I will not stand for it!"

"Well suit yourself there Mr. Cranky, but while you'll be doing the suiting, I'll be doing the attacking." Croc chuckled.

"Hey, what's that supposed to m-[crash]-unh!" Out of the blue, Croc did a quick torpedo right into Batman's Bat-Back. He hit the bottom of the swamp, covered in murky, sandy mud.

"Perfect, now to just-[splash-splash-splash]-what the?" Croc noticed Jimmy was shooting from the boat up top "Thank you Mythbusters." Croc chuckled

"I think I got a dag-gone bead on that sumbitch Tommy!"

"Well then hurry up there Jimmy, it's getting dark outside!" Tom yelled back.

"Easy on the shooting there Jim, Batman's down there, he's a good guy!"

"You mean the dag-gone thing in the new fangled scuba suit?" Jim asked

"Yeah that guy."

"Courtney he crazy as hell!" Jim yelled

"I agree, anyone willing to swim with them gators in this time of night, sure is crazy as hell." Tom agreed.

"Hmm, I don't hear anything, they must have moved up stream." Courtney pondered starring at the water.

"That you're detective instinct tingling there Courtney?" Tom asked

"M-...Maybe?"

"Alright then were headed up stream, hurry up now, the house is that way!"

"Let's get it going Tommy!"

"EE-OOO!" Love that turtleguy yelp.

Back below in the swamp

"Sorry Bats but I need to make my debut at the Montoya house, I'm having human for dinner. But so you don't feel left out, I'm leaving a few of my friends to hang out with you, see ya later, or as they say in Bayou Country-uh...Oh they speak French...ugh, what is French for goodbye, you know I've been to Paris a dozen times but never have I bothered to learn the language...You know what never mind, have a nice die!" And with that Croc swam away.

"Ugh, crap." Like a helpless diver in the shark tank at the aquarium, Batman felt screwed. He could barely see a ton of sharks circling around him like vultures to roadkill-huh...these are some very good analogies.

"Okay, they're just a bunch of angry and hungry alligators...no pressure, just in a race against the clock right now." Batman looked around for the first dumbass to strike first. "Come on gators, come and get me." finally one went on the offensive, and darted for the bat. "Bingo." "Alright, you asked for it!" he got a batarang ready, and as the gator passed he set it verticaly in it's mouth causing the gator to become disoriented. "One down, a lot to go."

For the next Batman simply punched in the stomach until it decided that death was a better choice then 10 more seconds of that.

"Well, Gator-side sure rising, but that's not my problem!"

he tried some of his exploding gel which was now totally water proof on two more gators.

"And the hits jut keep on coming."

To stop all the bad gator puns for the time being we cutscene back to the Montoya residence where Batgirl and Robin were keeping a watchful eye on the house, just to see what Croc had up his scaly sleeve.

"This is boring." Robin sighed

"I know, all those two have done is cook gator and talk about Garth Brooks. I hate stereotypes." Batgirl yawned

"Me too."

Croc came up from the swamp behind them, as slowly as he could

"Hey, you hear that?" Robin asked

"Hear what?"

"That noise I just heard."

"What noise Robin?"

"Sounded like some sort of slow splashing. Coming from behind us."

"Easy there pipsqueak."

"Stop calling me that Batgirl!"

"Whatever, look, it's a swamp Robin, okay? There's gonna be splashing noises, and it's at nighttime, your minds playing tricks on you."

"I don't know...I swear i-[klonk]" Crock knocked both their knuckleheads together.

"Perfect, two bats with one stone...or, one bat and one bird, with two-stones-oh never mind the point is I got em."

After getting the duo trapped in the apparatus he prepared close by, he moved on to the Montoya house knowing every line in there defense was weakened...or so he thought.

"Okay, now to take care of Courtney's inner family...or something to that extent-I dunno I don't write this."

Inside the abode, Courtney's sister in law Marie and her daughter Lena were busy cooking some supper...did I just type supper? You know what, I don't care. The two were fixing a salad and some gator stew...yup, they like they're gators

"Hows that salad coming along Lena?" Marie asked

"It's almost done Ma?"

"Good, I'm sure everyone will be back gator hunting shortly, so we can eat!"

"I sure hope so Ma, and I hope Courtney hasn't bitten off more then she could chew." Lena said

"I'm sure she'll do fine, that city might have made her soft, but deep down shes a Montoya!"

"Good..." Croc said as she entered "Then I guess being an easy target runs in the family."

"Gasp! A gator!"

"He's a biggin' ma."

"Ugh, for the last time, I'm not a frigging Alligator!" Croc fumed "I am part human, part Crocodile! It was an experiment gone horribly wrong, orchestrated by your relative Courtney!"

"Figures, it looks like Court takes her work home with her." Marie shook her head

"It's alright Ma, let's just fry up this Croco-whatever so we can eat."

"Agreed Lena." Almost out of nowhere the two drew guns

"Oh come on! What is with you Southerners and your freaking guns! I thought people in Gotham had a lot of guns-BUT MAN! You people have A LOT of guns!"

"Shut it Crocodile! Or we'll make you the Swiss Cheese!" Marie shouted

"First of all my name is Killer Croc, and second...AHHHHHHHHH!" he ran away screaming "Help me! Help Me!" he ran back into the swamp, with the two girls at his heels.

"Come on Lena, we have him on the run!"

"Right behind ya Ma!"

Meanwhile Batman made it to shore, with all the carrying all the dead gators he had to fight off. He laid down on the shore and spit all the residual muddy water from his mouth and threw the scuba head off of himself.

"Ugh...pant...pant...pant...ugh...The Swamp People are crazy." he blurted in the midst of his panting.

Suddenly he heard the sound of a boat motor getting closer

"There he is! Batman! Hey Batman!" Courtney called

"Huh? Oh, Detective Montoya! Fancy seeing you here."

"Whew, glad to see you're okay, oh this is my brother Tom, and my cousin Jimmy."

"Hello." Batman said, the other two simply marveled at his gator haul

"Damn! Boy that's a...that's quite a haul you got there!" Jim yelled

"Oh thanks, it wasn't really all that hard, I mean the lack of sight made things difficult but other then that-"

"Man, Tom you seeing this! That's that's like, let's see: 1-2-7-13-17 alligators! That's gotta be a record!"

"Well come on now I would hardly call it a record-"

"Boy did you kill all them gators?" Tom asked

"Uh...yeah."

"Well put em there pal! Anyone who can knock off all them gators at once, is alright in my book."

"Thank you."

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!"

"Quickly Lena this way!"

"I'm coming Ma!"

"Hey...hey that's Croc!" Courtney called out. She noticed him running through the brush.

"Yeah and Aunt Marie and Cousin Lena are after him." Jim noticed

"Then so are we, grab the guns kids!" Tom yelled

"Wait-wait, we can't shoot him." Batman shook his head

"Well why not?" Tom asked

"Trust me, I know an easier way of dealing with the likes of Croc. Just follow me!"

Croc cornered himself in the clearing where he trapped Batgirl and Robin, he had them suspended inside a cage which was attached to a rope tied to a tree, hovering over a sinkhole, looted with alligators.

"Not one step closer ladies, or the sidekicks get it!" Croc ordered

"Who are they?" Lena asked

"Old aquaintances of mine, so I suggest if you don't want them to be gator sushi, you throw down your guns immediately."

"Uh, Ma...What's sushi-"

"DO IT!"

"Okay-okay." the girls complied. Suddenly everyone else ran up behind the two

"No Croc!" Batman yelled

"Too late Bats, now unless you want your partners to take a nice long digestion period inside these hungry alligators I suggest you hand over Courtney right away! Better hurry Batman these little guys are hungry and-[thunk]-unh...getting...sleepy...feeling...[thud]" Batgirl ended the whole argument with a tranquilizer.

"And that's how we do things." Batman nodded.

With Croc in their custody, everyone stayed for dinner.

"Ms. Montoya, your cooking is outstanding." Batman complimented

"Well thank you monsieur Batman."

"Yeah this stew's really good, what's in it?" Robin asked

"Gator." Courtney said

"Huh...as in...alligator?" Robin reotrted

"Ha-ha yes sir boy, old Jimmy here shot that one himself this very morning." Tom said patting Jim on the back

"He was a fighter too he was." Jim agreed

"Uh...excuse me I'll be right back, where's your bathroom?"

"Ain't no bathroom boy, out house out back." Tom said

"Thanks."

"Huh, you know, I don't think the boy likes alligator?" Jim asked

"Nothing get's by you Jimmy, nothing gets by you." Courtney sighed.

**The End...**

**Alright boys and girls, season...finale...up next! A four parter where we look a little into Mr. Freeze's past and in his family. I hope to finish off this season not only with a bang, but by New Year's Eve, so keeping my fingers crossed. PLEASE REVIEW! and I'll update asap. Stay tuned...**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Courtney Montoya

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**Peter Oldring: **Robin

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Adam Reid: **Killer Croc

**Jim Cummings: **Tom Montoya

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Jim Montoya, Officer

**Adrienne Barbeau: **Marie Montoya

**Tara Strong: **Lena Montoya

**Lauren Tom: **Psychologist

**John DiMaggio: **Officer


	111. A Frozen Secret, Part I

**Villain(s): Unknown, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Mr. Freeze, Catwoman**

**Based on: The Gotham Girls minisodes (2000-2002)**

**Written and Directed By: Hilary J. Bader**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 54: A Frozen Secret (Part I)**

Commissioner Chris Gordon sat in his office twiddling his thumbs, and wishing something would happen...Wow he must be out of it. Time to make his day a lot worse, and then instantly better, shall we...

"Sigh...nearly noon, and not a gunshot, cry for help, or bank robbery in sight." he sighed "What does a guy gotta do to get some action in this city?" Just watch Eva and Izzy-A ZING!

Suddenly he heard a knock at his door.

"Come in." the Commissioner slammed his head on his desk.

"Commissioner Gordon?" a guy asked

"You've got him." Chris said picking his head up.

In front of him stood two people, one, a guy, with a crew cut, clean brown hair, Caucasian, wearing conservative clothing. The other a woman, dark hair in a bun, more serious looking, wearing similar attire to the guy. Minus a trenchcoat.

"Can I help you?" Chris asked clearly uninterested

"Uh, no sir-well, yes sir, uh sorta-"

"Spit it out pusscake!" the Commissioner ordered

"Uh-"

"Gil, shh." the woman shhed him. "Hello Commissioner, uh, I'm Caroline Greenway, and this is Gil Mason."

"Hi, I'm Gil Mason."

"And?" Chris asked...stock options...what he said and.

"Uh, we-we were the former warden's of Stonegate penitentiary." Caroline began

"But Mayor Hill has asked us to become your new assistant Commissioners."

"Really? I have finally have direct subordinates?" Chris perked up

"Yes sir." they said in unison.

"Great! Wow this bummer of a day just got a little bit better. Congratulations, you're hired, you're promoted, I'm going on vacation." Chris out of nowhere grabbed a Hawaiian shirt, two packed bags and straw hat. "See ya in a week." he exited his office.

"Wow...this is it Gil."

"Yeah the big time...well better get started."

Outside Bridgette, who works part time as a Evidence Analyzer, was showing the new secretary around. She too wore conservative clothing, though something a girl would wear, her hair was blond and short.

"Okay Dora, here's your desk, I certainly hope you find Gotham PD to be gainful employment to you-blah-blah-blah I have to say that." Bridgette sighed

"Well thank you Bridgette, I think I am going to like it here." Dora smiled

"I'm surprised you wanted to become a secretary here at the police department, a woman with your talents in robotics would be much better suited at GN."

"Nah, they're not hiring, plus ever since they're top researcher became psycho they've been getting nothing but flak. Besides, money's good, jobs not too hard." Dora added

"Well good I'm glad-oh, here comes our esteemed Commissioner right now.

"Wa-hoo! Bye sweetie!" Chris said giving his daughter a kiss on the cheek. "I'm going on vacation!"

"You, really, where?"

"I don't care, it's the dead of winter, somewhere with sun, and palm trees, and surf!"

"Hawaii?" Dora asked

"Boom! Love it! Who is this girl?"

"This is Dora Smithy Dad, the new secretary."

"Hi, Chris Gordon-you ma'am are a stinking genius! Would you like a raise?"

"A raise-but, I just got here." Dora asked excited

"Oh hush, I love being generous."

"SINCE WHEN?" everyone else within earshot asked

"Ah get back to work you bunch of pencil pushers! So, the raise then, hows about 20 bucks."

"20 BUCKS!" Dora looked surprise

"Fine 30 bucks-"

"30 BUCKS?"

"Fine, 40, final offer!"

"Sure."

"Hey, where's my raise?" Bridgette asked

"My sperm helped give you life, there, there's your raise! Alright pumpkin, if you need me, I'll be in Maui, please don't need me!" he gave Bridgette another kiss and sprinted away.

"Well, a raise...and a compliment. You my friend are having a superb first day."

"I guess, wonder why your dad just left on a surprise vacation?" Dora asked

"I dunno, but I'm about to find out." Bridgette headed for his office.

She entered to find Greenway and Mason making themselves comfortable.

"Uh, hello?"

"Hi, can we help you?" Gil asked

"Yeah, is...who are you two?" Bridgette asked a little frightened

"Well my name is Gil Mason new Acting Commissioner of Gotham city." Gil said proudly

"Uh, Co-Acting Commissioner he meant to say, I'm his partner, Co-Acting Commissioner Caroline Greenway." she said like she owned the place

"And who are you?" Gil asked

"Bridgette Gordon, as in Chris Gordon's daughter. What have you both done with him?"

"Whoa-whoa, relax there toots-"

"Toots?"

"Gil! Sorry Ms. Gordon, what Gil was trying to say is; were the new Assistant Commissioners of Gotham, your father wasted no time planning a vacation once he knew that." Caroline explained

"Yeah, that sure sounds like Dad. Alright, that works for now...But I'll be watching you both." she said walking back for the door, but hit the wall instead. "Ow...I meant for that to happen." Bridgette eventually found the door and walked out.

"Well she seems...charming." Gil said trying to make the awkward a little less awkward

"Hmm, yes Gil, which means she'll be nosy, I don't like nosy." Caroline squinted.

Bridgette and Geoff were eating lunch at a trendy sidewalk cafe in Midtown by Reed Park.

"So, your dad goes on vacation, and leaves two very suspicious characters in charge?" he asked

"Yup."

"Hmm, ulterior motives?"

"In this town, totally possible. They're up to no good Geoff, I just know it."

"Who are they exactly?"

"Uh Gil Mason, and Caroline Greenway."

"Hmm, those two just so happen to be the former warden's to Stonegate, have been since it's inception."

"Well that doesn't give me much to work with."

"Sorry Babe, I don't know everything."

"I know...ugh, they're up to something Geoff, I just know it."

"Relax Baby, we'll find out whatever it is they're up to, okay?"

"Well...okay, said you said it all nice and seductive like." they leaned in for a kiss and sucked face for...oh their usual face sucking period.

Suddenly the Bat-Watch was going haywire! Bridgette checked her watch, also a police scanner.

"What's wrong?" Geoff asked

"We'll see." Bridgette checked what was going on.

"_Break in at Gotham General Hospital, suspect Mr. Freeze fleeing the scene. All available units respond, over."_

"Hmm, Freeze eh?" Bridgette scratched her chin

"Haven't seen him in a while, come on!" the two went to a suitable ally to change.

Meanwhile at the police station, deep within the confines of the special crimes evidence vault, someone dressed as Catwoman who sneaked in was having a little shopping spree. Inside Freeze's evidence locker she pulled out a ray gun of some kind.

"Bingo." she smirked. However she would soon not be alone.

"Ugh, jeez Red, could you make these weeds of yours any more uncomfortable?" Harley asked

"Oh really? You wanna suggest another way in?" Ivy asked

The two eroded the floor below using Ivy's huge vines.

"Gasp!" the mysterious woman gasped

"Cat? Is that you?" Ivy asked

"Uh...yeah sure."

"Why you talking like that Whiskers?" Harley asked

"Just cause, doing a little mid day shopping spree." she said "Nothing out of the ordinary there."

"I know, we wanted to go shopping for criminal stuff too-gasp! Let's make it a group shopping spree!" Harley suggested

"Uh, no thanks Harley, I'm fine and I really must be going." The unknown said making a break for the newly made hole in the floor.

"You sure Cat, and hey maybe we can find some medicine for that nasty cold you clearly got." Ivy insisted

"I don't have a cold Izzy, just stay out of my way will ya!" she asked

"Okay-okay, down kitty, whatever, just leave us something to steal-"

"Well-well-well." the vault door had opened, and in popped Chef Bullock "What do we have here, the cat, the plant, and-"

"Harley!"

"NO! I was gonna say dummy, dummy!"

"Oh."

"Well I'd love to stay and chat girls, but I really must be going!" The unknown jumped into the hole along with the ray gun.

"Do we follow her Red?"

"Anywhere's better then staying around here Harl, now lets go!"

Chef fumed

Grrrr! They must be headed for the sewers!" he ran off to assemble a team to look for them.

Mr. Freeze had stolen a portable life support system and headed for the roof. He was panting through his metal outfit. He quickly ran for the building's edge and sprayed from his freeze gun to make a makeshift bridge of ice to get him from one end of the bridge to the other.

"Perfect." he said checking the bridge for sturdiness.

"Yeah, the perfect opportunity to land you back at Arkham Freeze." Nightwing said from behind him. He and Batgirl appeared on the roof.

"Ergh! I thought you guys only came out at night, it's better that way."

"No can do Freeze, but uh, you wanna tell us what you were dong stealing that life support system?" Batgirl asked

"It's for my darling wife Nora, I'm so close to a breakthrough, this is what I'll need to keep her alive once she thaws, but only for a few days, please."

"You can't just steal stuff Fries." Batgirl insisted

"Maybe if you asked nicely." Nightwing added

"Screw asking nicely, how about I just do this!" her froze both their feet to the floor.

"What!"

"Hey! Not cool!"

"Correction Nightwing, it's very COOL! And now to make my getaway across my totally sturdy ice bridge to-" Freeze was interrupted by the sound of a helicopter flying above him. "Oh come on!"

Gil stuck his head out and got on his megaphone.

"Attention Tyler Fries, we have you surrounded! Drop the device and come quietly!"

"Well I see Greenway decided not to join the party." Batgirl sneered

"Who the hell are you?"

"I am Gil Mason, Acting Co-Commissioner of Gotham City!"

"Yeah, well my freeze gun is the active commissioner of ass kicking!" Tyler aimed it high.

"Oh gosh! Torres! Get us out of here now!"

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	112. A Frozen Secret, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"Quick Torres get us out of here!"

"I'm trying Active Co-Commissioner Mason! But the roto is jammed!"

"You know, you can just as easily call me commissioner Mason...or Mason...or even Gil we are really pressed for time my friend-[zaaaap]-DAMMIT!"

The chopper went into a pitfall, and hit the roof hard across the street.

"Ugh...crap..." Gil crawled from the wreckage and onto the roof. Feet in front of him was his service pistol. He crawled for it, but was derailed by Freeze stepping on his hand just as he reached for the gun.

"Ah! Ow!"

"What? Gordon finally retired?" Freeze asked

"Really man you are crushing my hand." Mason retorted in pain

"I warn you friend, lousy with sports I am, lousy with gun I am not." Freeze aimed his freeze ray at the assistant commish'

"Seriously Yoda, hand...c-crushing-ow."

"You know, I would only be wasting my ammo...and I got better things to do then waste my time with the sidekick patrol." Freeze started away

"Not a sidekick!" Mason yelled. Though smart, he used his free hand, to reach for a small dart gun that fired tracers. One hit right on the back of one of Freeze's boots.

"Yes." Mason whispered. He waited for freeze to disappear, then he stood up, dashed across the ice bridge, slowly melting and turned his attention to the semi-frozen love birds "Well, some help you were." Mason scoffed getting out a hammer and chisel.

"Hey not our fault man! When he really wants his wife back, he REALLY wants his wife back." Nightwing defended

"Yeah and...hey, you...you carry a hammer and chisel with you, on hand?" Batgirl asked

"Well sure doesn't everybody?" Gil asked

"Uh-no, no they don't."

"Not unless this is Alaska!"

"Huh, everyone's a critic." Gil chiseled away "Almost gotcha." he was nearly done "There we are."

"Well thanks, but looks like we lost Freeze.' Nightwing groaned

"Not necessarily-I, planted a tracer on him, just as he left, see; I'm not just some wet eared rookie screw-up, I think an apology is in order?" Gil asked

"Wow, Go Gil, that's an awesome idea man!" Nightwing was sold, Batgirl not

"Humph, beginners luck Mason, we better head back to the station."

"Fine...but we may want to do something about frosty-the-snow-bridge."

They returned to the Police HQ, only to discover the real action was in the SCEV.

"Well, what happened here?" Batgirl asked

"Goody, Cowl head 2, and night-something-or-other made it." Bullock greeted

"Night-WING Bullock!" Nightwing corrected

"Yeah, it matters." Chef rolled his eyes.

"Detective what happened in here?" Gil asked

"I'll tell you Mason." Montoya approached "It was Catwoman, Poison Ivy, and Harley Quinn. They must have teamed up to do some late Holiday shopping."

"Montoya's right Commish' saw them with my own two eyes."

"Well, what was taken?" Batgirl asked

"Oh-NO!" Greenway entered the vault with much disdain. "Detectives, who let THOSE two into MY vault-"

"Ah-hem." Gil raised an eyebrow

"Fine our vault." she fumed

"Excuse me bitch lady, but; what yo name is?" Nightwing asked

"My name fly-boy is CO-COMMISSIONER Caroline Greenway, and I want BOTH you costumed menaces out of my vault this instant! Or I'll arrest you both for trespassing on City soil and have you both tossed into Stonegate so hard you're masks will spin." she sneered

"Uh, Carol-you said MY vault again-"

"Whatever Gil!"

"Hmm, you REALLY want us out of here in a hurry don't you?" Batgirl asked

"Yes! I can't stand you costumed menaces! Running through town with your-your, fancy tights, and your- cooky gadgets fighting off your little rogues gallery! Which need I remind you is your fault in the first place they broke in here!"

"OUR FAULT!"

"Yes, you little monsters created them, it's only fitting they would ruin MY most crowning achievement of days by breaking in here!"

"Ah-hem."

"Ugh...our crowning achievement." Greenway rolled her eyes

"Thank you." Gil nodded

"Look Harvey, what did they steal anyway-"

"-I'LL ask the questions around here Brat-Girl thank you very much." Greenway interrupted "So, what was stolen Detective Bullock?"

"Ugh...some ray gun from Frost-Head's locker, nothing else; ain't sure what it is, not my job to know what it is-point is...it's gone."

"So you're so poetic Harvey."

"Thank you Courtney."

"Now as for you two-civilians." OH NO SHE DI'NT! "I suggest unless you wanna wear stripped pajamas for the next 2 score and forty-four days, I suggest you vacate this station immediately." Greenway threatened.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" Batgirl asked getting up in her face. "Wanting us to leave so we can't search some more...I bet that would put your mind at ease-the both of you." she also meant Gil.

"What are you implying?" Greenway asked

"I think that a certain 2 co-commissioners got some dirty laundry they wouldn't want the greatest detectives in the world to uncover."

"Well gee Batgirl, thanks, but I'd hardly call Montoya and I the greatest detectives in the world." Chef chuckled sheepishly.

"You moron she was talking about us!" Nightwing did a facepalm.

"Why I've never been so insulted! I am an officer of the law, so is Gil!"

"Right!"

"Well then, maybe she has the right idea, wrong Co-Commissioner." Nightwing pointed to Mason

"WHAT! That's absurd!"

"Yeah! I've known Gil Mason since we were little kids! He would never! And neither would I!" Greenway retorted.

"Suuuuuuuuure, it's the perfect crime, steal the ray gun, make it look like an inside job, frame Ivy, Harley and Catwoman, and then you two get to do whatever with it." Batgirl explained

"You ditz!" Mason sighed "You saw me go after Fries!"

"But we didn't see Greenway!" Nightwing added

"Maybe Freeze was just a diversion. That's why he didn't freeze you on the roof, but he froze us!"

"Well that's...actually a good plan come to think of it-BUT it's not true! I said right to my face and I quote "You know, I would only be wasting my ammo...I got better things to do then waste my time with the sidekick patrol." unquote."

"Suuuuuuuuure. It'd be the perfect plan right?" Batgirl asked the other officers standing around who were looking at each other and nodding a little

"You-you people can't be serious!" Gil yelled

"That's it! I've had it!" Greenway shouted. She angrily took out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed Batgirl

"H-Hey!"

"I've had it with you, not just for everything else but for your accusations! Batgirl, I'm placing you under arrest for trespassing, tampering with a crime scene, and harassing an officer of the law!"

"What's that like pfft-6 score?" Nightwing asked

"Shut it Fly-Boy, you're next!"

"Okay, since when is that my nickname, Ch-Chef's got a zillion of em!"

"Never once did it cross my mind." Chef agreed.

"Well whatever, you're coming with me Batgirl, I think Arkham is the place for you." she started to push Batgirl out of the room

"Oh you'd like that, with me in the slammer that's one less person who can expose you as the crook you truly are Caroline Greenway-"

"Uh, Commissioner?" Dora asked

"Yes Dora, what is it?"

"Uh, well-um-"

"It's okay Ms. Smithy." came the clandestine voice of-

"BATMAN!"

"YES!"

"I'm saved!"

"Hmm, a bit early for you to be out and about there Cowl Head." Chef said checking his watch.

"Hey Chef, hows that shrink working for ya?" Batman asked

"Okay I guess."

"Go more often. Now, what seems to be the problem, I heard there was a commotion in here a little while ago."

"Yeah, Catwoman, Harley, and Ivy broke in, and Catwoman stole one of Freeze's ray guns." Montoya explained

"Hmm well that's-wait, Catwoman you say?"

"Yes sir Senor Pointy Ears, saw her with my own two eyes." Chef added

"Not possible, I was just chasing Catwoman all morning and afternoon...It's my day off, and crime doesn't take a vacation."

"Pfft, unlike Gordon." Chef whispered

"So it couldn't have been Cat."

"A likely story Batman, even if this Catwoman is an imposter, I doubt she would have the skills to break into this vault." Greenway said

"Ha, you would know that wouldn't you, I bet you're the imposter." Batgirl smirked

"Shut it!"

"Make me!" real mature

"Look, we'll handle the investigation for the imposter, and we'll find Harley and Ivy too." Batman assured them

"No you won't!" Gil snapped

"By the way, who are you two?" Batman asked

"Acting Co-Commissioners Gil Mason and Caroline Greenway." Gil announced

"Gordon decided to take a vacation. Now unless you both want to join Batgirl, I suggest you get your bat butts out of-huh?" Greenway looked up, and saw all three of them were gone, and Batgirl's handcuffs on the floor.

"Holy?" Gil was stunned

"How did they?" Dora asked

"Yup, they do that a lot." Courtney sighed

"Gotta say I think they broke their all time best on this one." Chef added

"Well nevertheless, get to work, I'll personally look over this vault, even if it takes me all night." Greenway insisted

"Yes sir." The Detectives saluted then exited.

"Well while you search, I'll go look for old Freeze." Gil took out a small GPS. "I got a lock on his location."

"Really, you're gonna search all by yourself?" Caroline asked

"Have to Carol, the department is as busy as it is. But, it's one helluva first day for us. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." Gil left the vault. We see a brief sketchy look of Greenway as the shot pans away.

On the roof, Batman instructed his subordinates.

"Alright, I'll be on guardian angel detail for Mason when he goes in search of Freeze, Geoff, go and find the three girls, maybe they know something."

"Can do."

"And Bridgette, search that station, I wanna know what if anything Greenway is up to."

"You got it."

Meanwhile Harley and Ivy decided it would be best to stop and rest in a dark and secluded ally in Park Row.

"Whew, boy Red, did Cat get faster or what?" Harley panted

"I know, I can't believe we totally lost her."

"Uh girls." they looked up and saw the REAL Catwoman "But what are you talking about?"

"Has the catnip gone to your head Gwen? You robbed the SCEV at Gotham PD and made off with a ray gun."

"Noooooo, I was chasing Batman all through town all day, swear."

"WHAT!"

"Then...if it wasn't Cat..." Harley pondered

"Wonder who it was?"

And over to Mason who stopped his car outside 333 Coldwater Lane.

"The old abandoned ice cream factory...figures." Gil shook his head. And entered the lead lined building. Batman too, but through the second floor catwalk entrance.

Gil saw Fries hooking up the life support system to the chryogenic freezer Nora resided in. which he transported from Arkham when he escaped.

"There almost finished...now just to start the melting process...and I'll be having my Nora just in time for...Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial Day!" Fries looked at his calendar. And started the process, but was just barely interrupted by.

"[Click]-Ahem." Gil drew his gun

"You?" Freeze looked surprised.

"Me."

"How did you find me?"

"Not your concern Freeze! Now just put the ray gun down, and we'll do this nice and easy, I don't wanna hurt ya."

"Well, that's good for me then isn't it."

"Look out Mason!" MASON! GET TO DA MINI-GUN! Batman yelled jumping down from the rafters. Which prompted a completeshot to the torso, freeing Batman to the nearest wall.

"Gah-errrr!"

"Now! Where was I-[clap-clap-clap]" all three turned heads to see the Catwoman imposter...unknown.

"This plan...could not have been getting off to a better start." she held up the ray gun.

"So...you are an imposter."

"That's right Batman, you all should have listened to Batgirl, you would have lived longer. Unfortunately this lead lined building negates the effect of the gun, but outside works just fine."

"No...Not that gun! Not that!"

"Oh yes Tyler...I knew you were trouble from the first day I laid my eyes on you...Nora should have seen it too, you monster, but first thing's first, gotta deal with Clint Eastwood over here." she said pulling out a gun

"No way sister! Drop it!" Gil ordered

"Now Gil, is that anyway to treat..." unknown took off the cowl, and we pan away from her face "Me?"

"GASP! You...I should have known! Should have known from the start! You betrayed everyone! Batgirl was right! It was an inside job!" Gil shouted.

"I would never have thunk it." Freeze gasped "I'm speechless, after all these years you finally lost it. Well, at least you can't stop me from doing this." Freeze slammed the melting button!

"NOOOOOO!" Unknown shouted as Nora started to thaw. "That's it, time I started phase two-but first-[bang]"

"AWWWWWW!" Gil hugged his left shoulder as a bullet pierced it, the Co-Commissioner hit the floor.

"You'll never take me alive!" Unknown ran for the exit

"Batman!" Freeze pulled Batman out. "We have to stop that ray gun! If she uses it, well, you'll see, come on, Mason will be fine till we get back!" they hurried outside

"Oh don't worry about me! Don't worry I'm fine! No-no-no I just got a bullet in my shoulder!"

"We'll be right back Mason!" Batman called

They ran outside after unknown. But as she was safely outside the lead lined building.

"You're too late boys, and so is EVERY man in Gotham!" she pulled the trigger just as Batman managed to get a Batarang off. He and Freeze vanished

"What in the world?" Gil asked, Unknown disappeared into the snow covered street.

...Rooftops over Gotham

"There they are." Nightwing was closing in on what he thought were his targets "Huh-" than vanished

...Gotham PD

"Alright chef, if we are dealing with an imposter we should-...Chef...Chef...he's gone."

The roof atop the police station.

"All the men in the city...gone." she said looking out at the bleak snowy gray sky as it grew dark with the night.

**To Be Continued...**

**K...How...The hell...was a-that? Guess who unknown is? Betcha can't. So get ready for the...Part II...SEASON...5...EPIC...FINALE!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**Dan Petronijevic: **Nightwing

**Cle Bennett: **Chef Bullock

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Courtney Montoya

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Peter Oldring: **Mr. Freeze

**Jennifer Hale: **Caroline Greenway, Dora Smithy

**Rob Paulsen: **Gil Mason

**Carlos Alazaraqui: **Torres, Additional Voices

**E. G. Daily: **Unknown (Voice)

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Harley Quinn

**Katie Crown: **Poison Ivy

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Catwoman

**Lauren Tom: **Intercom, additional voices

**Dante Basco: **Additional Voices


	113. A Frozen Secret, Part III

**Villain(s): Mrs. Freeze (Intro), Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Catwoman Featuring: Mr. Freeze**

**Based on: The Gotham Girls minisodes (2000-2002)**

**Written and Directed By: Hilary J. Bader**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 55: A Frozen Secret (Part II)**

Catwoman, Poison Ivy, and Harley Quinn decided on hiding out at Gwen's place so they could get an idea of what is going on. The men have been missing for nearly a day.

"Okay, I heard that Chrissy Gordon split for vacation. So the old warden's from Stonegate took his place." Gwen explained

"I heard the girl Commish is a total bitch and a half." Ivy added

"Ha, you'd still sleep with her." Gwen added.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Look girls, I think we can all admit that the men going missing is bad-"

"Eh, I'm cool with it." Ivy shrugged

"And I think it's starting to get to us, need I remind you were all friends here?" Harley asked

"Eh..." the Cat and the plant looked at each other.

"Good, now what say we relax, and watch some TV, that'll take our mind off things." Harley switched on Gwen's stolen 60" plasma.

"You're right Harl."

Of course they channeled the news. The current acting mayor Elizabeth Styles was in a press release outside city hall. Addressing the ladies of the press...considering that is all there is left.

"_Ladies of the press I would like to put everything at ease. Our police force is doing all they simply can on the case of the missing men of Gotham City."_

"_And not to worry ladies, we are doing everything possible." Greenway interrupted her. _

"_Commissioner Greenway, Summer Gleeson Gotham Action News, are you on the hunt for the culprits of this heinous kidnapping crime?"_

"_As a matter fact we can confirm that the culprits were none other than Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, and Catwoman!"_

WHAT!" the girls jumped up

"_They sneaked into the special crimes evidence vault today, where the ringleader Catwoman stole a ray gun of Mr. Freeze's. It is assumed they used said gun to make the men disappear, as it is the guns intended use."_

"WE did no such thing, and WHOA is Greenway ugly or what...she must be gay." Ivy pondered

"How can you tell?" Harley asked

"Believe me Harl, I can tell."

"Hey, chatty-Kathy's-shh!" Catwoman said annoyed

"_For a crime such as this we will do all we can to hunt them down, where they will be tried...convicted...then, executed."_

"EXECUTED!" this hit the girls like a ton of bricks

"But-but-but-but, t-t-t-t-t-hey can't do that? Can they?" Ivy asked terrified

"Oh, they can...gulp, and I think they will." A terrified Gwen added

"I can't be executed, we didn't even do anything...plus there is so much I haven't done with my life...Like-like-be a reality TV star, or-or go to Paris!" Harley choked up.

"Been there, stole that." Gwen added

"Well, what are we gonna do?" Ivy asked, the two looked at Gwen

"Why you looking at me? I don't have all the answers."

"But you do know your way around the city." Ivy said

"And Gwen, you know your way around the police station."

"The police station...right, you want me, to sneak into the lions den, filled with women that want nothing more then to kill us?"

"Look I hate to say it...but, we need Batgirl." Ivy came to her senses

"No way! Uh-uh."

"We can't do that Red!"

"To be honest, I'd rather take my chances with the police...but you know what, maybe if we go back we can find some sort of tracking device for the ray gun, I remember Tyler say once he tracks all hiss stuff, unless they're all at the confiscated warehouse storage, they've gotta be in there."

"I don't know Cat, sounds risky...crazy even." Ivy pondered

"Gotta better idea Izzy?"

"Shes got a point Red."

"Ugh, you just be happy you're smoking hot."

"Come on, it will be risky, and if we go down, maybe just maybe we'll take some of them down with us. Beats getting the table."

"Sure, were in, but you may wanna beg for forgiveness, all the stuff you've stolen Gwen, you're going straight to hell." Ivy warned

"Don't worry, I'll save seats for the both of you, now let's go." Gwen suited up in her outfit.

On top of police HQ, Styles and Courtney lit the Bat-Signal hoping to get you know who's attention

"You sure she'll show up?" Mayor Styles asked

"It's called the BAT-Signal not a MAN-Signal." Courtney retorted

"Either way I got the message, talk to me." Batgirl appeared behind them

"Batgirl, you've gotta help us find those three, they surely have the ray gun...and let's face it, and I'll never admit openly, but were lost without the men." Styles begged

"They're not behind this at all girls, I know it...I'm sure of it, THAT Catwoman was an imposter, and I'm gonna prove it, I even have a suspect or two in mind-"

"HEY!" Greenway entered the roof, not happy

"Suspect number 1." Batgirl sneered

"Didn't I arrest you yesterday for trespassing."

"And for harassing an officer."

"Not helping Courtney!"

"Well you can blame me all you want Batgirl, fact is; you're wrong, all you costumed types are wrong, in the blink of an eye, more than ¾ have been dealt with, and the only "good one" left. I'm sorry you don't agree with my methods, but let's face it, I'm a damn good Commissioner, Gil would be too if he was here!"

Speaking of the last man standing...er, last man rocking back in forth in the fetal position clenching his bleeding shoulder...Gil was trying to stay awake, even though the lack of sleep and threat of going into shock, were finally getting to him.

"Ugh...this huuuuuuuuuurts." he groaned "All the men are gone in the city...Greenway probably thinks I'm dead...and what's worse I'm forced to stare at 3 pints of my damn blood on the f*cking floor!" Gil fumed.

"Cough-cough-cough!"

"huh?" Gil looked up to see that Nora Fries had completely dissolved, and the life support system had revived her "Oh yeah...I forgot." Gil whispered "Nora...Fries."

"Huh, what?"the girl shot off of the table.

"Uh, hi there."

"Who are you...and where am I?" she asked

"Gil Mason, you're at the old abandoned ice cream factory in Gotham City, hey look I hate to be a bother, I can bring you up to speed later, but can you drive me to the nearest hospital, because got dammit there is bullet in my shoulder!"

"Sure, of course...here lemme help you." she helped Gil up.

"Thank you, my car is out front...you uh...you still remember how to drive right?"

"I think so."

"...Oh boy."

And back to the roof of the police station-

"I'm through with you! And since I plan of whacking thorny, crazy and kitty anyhow...might as well get a package deal." everyone's eyes went wide as the cuffs were placed on Batgirl yet again.

"Yeah get rid of me, the only person who could have exposed you as the criminal you truly are!"

"Shut-it, Detective Montoya, I want that Crap-Signal destroyed NOW!"

"But-"

"I said NOW! While you still have a career."

"Hey-hey, easy there Greenway, keep in mind before you go all Marshall law on everyone that you're only Commissioner for the same reason I'm mayor, because all the men in the city have disappeared!" Styles fumed

"Sorry, but rules are rules, this is MY building, and everyone follows the same rules even commissioners and mayors, and besides, under my short reign as Commissioner crime has plummeted to near 0, I think I've got everything under control."

"That's because 90% of the criminals have disappeared." Courtney added "And it's not your building, it's Chris Gordon's!"

"Ha-ha, Chris ain't here...is he? Now I said destroy that damn thing! And now, I've gotta bat to fry-huh?" Greenway turned back around to discover not only did Batgirl vanish, but the cussf were now on Greenway "It's official, Batgirl is the offspring of Harry Houdini."

Dora was tediously working on her computer, when she heard a noise coming from the Commissioner's office, she slowly entered.

"Commissioner...Commissioner Gordon?" she asked. Batgirl turned around in his chair.

"Still on vacation I'm afraid."

"Whew...sorry Batgirl, from the back you look just like him."

Yeah I get that a lot."

"You know, Greenway is seriously cracking down, simply talking to you could get me thrown in jail...But I've never been one to follow the rules, what can I do to help?" she asked

"Just stand watch."

"Can do." Batgirl got right to work on the computer

"I need to somehow connect Mr. Freeze, and his ray gun to someone who would want all the men gone...Clearly this person would have to have some connection to Both Tyler, and Nora Fries."

"Uh-huh." Dora said a little sheepish

"Ah, a match, bingo! All that comes up is this picture to Nora Fries, before her accident, with Tyler and...y-you. Dora, did you know you were in this picture? Dora...Do-[zaaaaaaaap]-HEY!" suddenly Batgirl found herself frozen to the chair. And approached Dora from the darkness, wearing a wicked smile and holding a copy of Freeze's freeze gun.

"Sorry you had to see that."

"Dora...what's going on?"

"I thought you could answer that question for me Detective." Ra's Al Ghul much? "You know I was a little surprised, you assumed it was Greenway from the git-go. But you never-ever questioned the helpful shy secretary, nobody does."

"God why do I ever try to make friends with other women...but why are you doing this Dora?"

"All will be explained in due time, I'm sure you realize by now I was the one who stole the gun, shot Gil Mason, left him for dead, and made all the men disappear. Simply so there would be less competition to get in my way."

"Ergh, way of what!" Batgirl struggled

"Sorry, can't tell you that right now. But it does involve my sister, which Tyler managed to revive, who is now probably driving poor Gil to the nearest hospital. Where I will commence phase two of my awesome plan." Suddenly Dora heard commotion from the hallway

"Hey officers, with me!"

"Why what happened?"

"We got Harley, Ivy and Catwoman in custody outside, they're being sent to prison!"

"Oh I can't miss this!" the girls ran away.

"Well-well-well, looks like Joker will need a new bitch, Two-Face a new headache, and Batman a new flame." Dora chuckled evilly

"You...you dirty-rotten-evil-little-"

"Aw sticks and stones, and as much as I would love to stay and chat Brat-Girl, I got a sister to find and a Mason to whack, and don't worry, I'll be keeping this, extra comfortable." Dora held up the

"Ray gun!"

"Yeah, the magical ray gun. Oh, and don't call me Dora Smithy...ha-ha-ha, call me-Mrs. Freeze."

"It's fitting you know for a complete-PSYCHOPATH!"

"Shut your mouth wise-ass!" she zapped ice around Batgirl's mouth. "That's more like it, I'll be back for you later." Dora left the office, laughing all the way.

"_Ugh, I gotta stop her...but without the guys, I'm screwed. I'm gonna need some help...And I know just where to get that help." Batgirl thought to herself, trying to get free._

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	114. A Frozen Secret, Part IV

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Chris Gordon laid comfortably on a sunny beach, in beautiful sunny Maui. Sipping some fruity beverage in a coconut, and catching some raze...It just warms my heart to know his perfect vacation is about to be shot right in the ass.

"Ah, this is the life...no officers to bug me...no villains to harass me...everything's perfect. And now...I can finally...relax."

[vibrrrrrrrrrrate]

"You know what, I'm so relaxed, I don't even mind answering my phone." Chris picked up his cell. "Hello, this is the perfectly relaxed Commissioner Gordon here, how may I help you...Elizabeth Styles, well it is so nice to hear from you again, how are things in America's Sh*thole? … Uh-huh...I see...What do you mean all the men in the city disappeared!" And relaxation goes bye-byes. "Liz, over 5 and a half million people just don't disappear in the blink of an-uh-huh...oh, Catwoman eh? In custody? Well then why should I care...Gil missing...Greenway is a complete tyrant...SHE DID WHAT TO MY OFFICE!" Chris fumed "That tears it! I'll be on the next flight into Gotham!" Chris hung up "Mess with my office will ya!" He muttered

Nora was busy driving the injured Gil Mason to Gotham general...thankfully being that the population was cut in half, her less then...below average driving was not affecting anyone else.

"Wow...I'm not sure how long I've been out, but I think I'm actually getting the hang of this."

"Uh-huh, now what you're gonna want to do is keep both eyes on the road, ans try to refrain from driving on the sidewalks." Gil said nervously...now completely forgetting about the certainly infected wound on his shoulder.

"Sorry, I guess I didn't realize how long I was out for...do you know how long?" Nora asked

"From what I remember from the papers, about...oh-10-11 years."

"WHAAAAAAAT! -[BREEEEEEEAK]- "Heh-heh, sorry."

"No-no, that was just my heart stopping. Or maybe the blood loss and stress of this whole ordeal coupled with the complete lack of sleep is finally getting to me." Gil panted "Is it getting hot in here...nope, I'm just hallucinating, there's those spots."

"Really Gil if you want I an pull over-"

"NO-NO! No, please God no, just-j-just, just pull into the hospital-look, right up ahead-ha-ha-ha, we made it-ha-ha-ha, oh thank you Lord."

The two pulled right outside the ER. Gil had a hunch there would be an over abundance of nurses but a shortage of doctors. But the woozy Co-Commissioner had little time to think. Nora helped him to the front door.

"There we go, nice and easy." she said.

"Thank you Nora, and don't worry, once I'm well again were gonna get this mess straightened out, mark my words."

"Except, I can't let that happen." a voice said from right next to them.

"Wait...I know that voice." the two turned to see Mrs. Freeze, in a lighter, yet stylish version of Mr. Freeze's freeze costume and gauntlets...but no helmet.

"You." Gil sneered "If it weren't for you Smithy, none of this would be happening! And I wouldn't be 4 and ¾ pints low on blood!"

"Dora...why did you do this? Gil told me everything...why did you make all the men disappear, and frame Catwoman...why?" Nora asked

"Believe me sis, I am doing this for you...now hold still while I take care of the last man standing!"

"She does have a point, there is no other man within a 20 mile radius besides me...Kinda like those odds-[bang]"

"GIL!" Nora watched as a bullet hit Gil right in the lower abdomen and he hit the floor, presumably dead.

"You...YOU MONSTER!"

"Sorry you had to witness a murder on your first day back sis..." Mrs. Freeze said coldly "But don't worry, this won't hurt a bit-[zaaaaaaaaap]" She froze Nora...took her and left Gil to bleed out...right in front of the one place that could save him.

Over to Stonegate Penitentiary, the three condemned were placed in a cell, shackled to each other. Greenway stood outside the locked cell with a wicked smile of evil satisfaction. Several very tough looking female prison guards stood next to her, whacking their batons against their hands.

"You know girls, I'd still be Commissioner, and Gil would be alongside me if it weren't for Catwoman."

"NOT MY FAULT!" Catwoman snapped

"You know...can't believe I'm saying this-but, I'd rather be at Arkham." Ivy said nearly vomiting in her mouth for saying it

"Warden's not so bad though, pension, health...and uh-oh yeah-mad as all hell." Greenway snarled "First we had the gallows...then the chair...then the table...but I think this will be the first execution by beating...open it up." The cell door opened

"Were mulch!" Ivy closed her eyes

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Harley screamed

"Got another brilliant plan Cat?" Ivy asked

"More or less." Catwoman smiled she looked at Batgirl's reflection against the light, she was just outside the window. A 9-bang and smoke grenade were tossed in.

"Cat, Harley, Ivy, close your eyes, NOW!"

[Bang-koof]

"Ah-CAN'T SEE!"

"ERRRGH! IT'S BATGIRL!"

"Get em!"

. . .

Harley opened her eyes, to discover she and the three had been moved out of the cell and down the hall by the laundry chute. The girls were also unshackled.

"What the...hey B-girl when did you get here?"

"Never mind that."

"And why do you feel so cold?" Ivy asked

"Oh, it's a long...painful...cold story involving a Kuerig machine...and a whole lotta coffee, but hurry before the psycho warden finds us!"

"Don't have to tell me twice." the four jumped down the chute, and into the laundry room.

"Quick, into this golf cart!" Batgirl ordered

"Huh...they can afford this giant prison, but not decent transportation?" Ivy asked "Way to be a cheapskate Al."

"Just cut the liberal plant saving bullcrap and get in the cart Izzy." Catwoman pulled her in.

Batgirl drove them out of the prison and down a hill alongside the cliff, just above the frigid waters of the East River and Gotham Bay. Then she drove them into a rather large drainage tunnel cut into the cliff.

"Okay, I think we've lost em."

"Thanks, now girls let's give our rescuer some thanks and I guess we'll be on our way." Ivy smirked

"Oh no you don't! This isn't a pardon, in fact, it's a favor I expect owed...now."

"NOW?"

"Yup, right now, I know whose responsible for this, and we gotta stop her before it gets out of hand." Batgirl explained

"Well who-[click]"

"FREEZE!" Came Montoya's voice from behind them.

"Courtney Wait-"

"Now you don't Batgirl!" Greenway appeared from the other side.

"I can't believe it...all the years I defended you costumed nut-cases, stuck my neck out on the line." Courtney sneered "Then you go and do something like this? I guess Harvey was right all along."

"No, Courtney, Caroline pleeeeeease, JUST LISTEN TO ME!" Batgirl shouted... "Thank you...Catwoman-hell all three of them are totally innocent, it was Dora Smithy who is doing all of this, and I think it involves her sister Nora, and Mr. Freeze reviving her."

"Smithy...the secretary?" Courtney asked "Aw, but shes so sweet, and she made me these nice lemon squares." Courtney choked up

"Yeah, baked with pure evil! I swear she might be the most evil rogue in this city...not Joker, not Gray Goblin, Not Red Claw-Not even Ra's Al Ghul...can amount to her blackened frozen-Grinchy-2 sizes-too-small-heart...she made the men disappear, and I bet shes after Nora too, who is probably near Gil Mason."

"I dunno, that sounds like a bunch of-"

"Wait!" Greenway said reluctantly "Lieutenant Montoya...stand down...I believe her."

"You-You do?" Courtney asked

"YOU DO?"

"I do...During the escape I gotta call...Gil...was shot by an unknown assalant outside Gotham General...he was with a woman who matched Nora Fries's description...they don't think...don't think he'll make it." Wow...she actually showed emotion besides anger and bitterness...I love ruining moments.

"Batgirl, we'll help you...but where would Dora be headed?" Greenway asked

"If I had to guess...the same place Gil trailed Mr. Freeze two nights ago...333 Coldwater Street."

"The abandoned ice cream factory...fitting." Courtney added

So the team of 6 embarked on a journey to the ice cream factory. Sneaking to the door the saw Mrs. Freeze had already been a busy little beaver. Nora was back in hibernated sleep. And for some reason Freeze stood on a catwalk working all the controls, by a giant vat of liquid nitrogen. But the dumbasses tripped an alarm.

"Hmm, friends of yours Nora?" she suited up "Oh well, nothing I can't handle." Suddenly Courtney and Greenway charged in.

"FREEZE!"

"Pardon the irony Detective Montoya and Commissioner Greenway." she aimed her freezing gun, first freezing their legs to the floor, and knocking the guns off of em.

"Well, that sucked." Courtney groaned.

"Yeah, but I bet this'll suck even more-hey!" Mrs. Freeze suddenly found herself tangled in one of Ivy's vines.

"Oh did they forget to mention, they had a little help." Came Harley's annoying voice.

"Well-well-well, and here i thought you'd be pushing daisies...I guess I stand corrected...but maybe this will make me feel better." Freeze managed to get a shot which froze Greenway solid.

"NOOOOOOO-"

"GREENWAY!"

"Wait, here comes the best part...where she'll soon join her colleague Mason."

Suddenly to everyone's...slight dismay, the ice shattered into little tiny pieces.

"Oops, dopey me."

"You know I'd feel more sad...if she wasn't such a tyrannical bitch." Catwoman sighed

"You...you MONSTER!" Batgirl shouted.

"Again there you go with the sticks and stones." Freeze froze the vine and freed herself. "But you little annoyances need to be dealt with!" She instantly froze Harley, Ivy, and Catwoman to whatever surface they were near.

"And as for you Batgi-[thwak]" a Batarang knocked the gun from her hand, and ricocheted off the revive button on the hibernation chamber.

"You-little-GASP!" she saw Batgirl grab the disappear gun, and reverse the polarity.

"It ends here Dora!"

Suddenly outside Batman and Mr. Freeze reappeared and fell to the ground, as they were in mid air upon disappearing.

"Oof!"

"Ow. Aw, wha...what happened?" Fries asked

Nightwing appeared on the roof where he last was. And Bullock back at the police station. Everything returned to...let's call it normal. Then Batgirl threw the gun to the floor, destroying it.

"Now this'll never happen again."

"Grr! I thought you'd understand Batgirl...understand about all the hell these costumed criminals cause!"

"Yeah, well killing them off, is out of the question!"

"Ha! For you maybe...but not for me...It's people like Tyler Fries that need to be stopped!"

The duo entered, and Mr. Freeze heard every word.

"So, it was about Tyler this whole time?" Batgirl asked

"Yup, it always used to be just the two of us...Nora and Dora...Dora and Nora-sisters inseparable! Then he showed up...I tried to be happy for them...but when Nora got sick, Tyler wouldn't let her die in piece-instead he-he turned her into-some sort of lab rat! Well I couldn't stand for it another second! That's why I'm placing my sister back in hibernation...so she'll never be disturbed again."

"But if it wasn't for Tyler Fries-"

"Tyler Fries is a freak-a menace-my brother in law was twisted-TWISTED-"

"DORA! If it wasn't for Tyler I would be dead!" Nora exited the chamber.

"It's true Dora."

Tyler couldn't take another second. He headed for the back exit, but Batman found a letter tossed in his hand.

"TYLER-WAIT!"

"Batman?" Batgirl asked

"Ugh, he's gone, Tyler left!"

"Good riddance I say. But I'm not done yet! My plan might be ruined, but at least I'll know I can get rid of you Bat-Fu-fu-fuuuuuuuu-[splash]" Dora slipped and sunk into the vat of liquid nitrogen.

"...Dora?" Nora asked

"Well, that's one way to do it-"

"SHUT-UP HARL!"

"Well, guess that's it then..." Batman sighed with disdain

"Yup, guess the nightmare's finally ove-[SPLASH]"

"CRAZY CARTOON SLOW MOTION TIME

Mrs. Freeze leaped from the vat, with pale white skin and silver hair, and piercing red eyes. She lunged onto Batgirl who was at the edge. Talk about evil looking.

"AHHHHHHH-"

Suddenly a Bat hook was fired instantly tieing Freeze up.

"Hey, what the?" Everyone looked up to see Nightwing.

"Hey, what's I miss?"

"Your timing is impeccable." Batman nodded

"I learned from the best."

The compound was soon littered with police, Chris finally made it back.

"Thanks for your help ladies." Batgirl asked as the three were loaded into the wagon.

"Don't get used to it." Ivy sneered. Dora was being loaded into a wagon just for her.

"Just-I'll be back-you wait and see-Mrs. Freeze has just begun!"

"Shut-it!" Chris ordered "Alright get em out of here!" he turned to the bat team "I just got word from the hospital, Gil's gonna be just fine believe it or not, but he will be in a coma for a good week or so from all the blood loss and lack of sleep."

"That is good news. Though he will be sorry to know his dearest friend is in a million pieces." Batman added

"I think he's got more on his plate right now..." Nightwing looked at Nora off in the distance "What about Nora?"

"According to Tyler's letter which he made for a few nights back, he wants to leave Gotham and get properly rehabilitated and cured...Nora promised she'll wait for him.

"Hey, he waited years for her, she can make do...too bad about her psycho sister." Chris added "I doubt she'll ever be warm again."

"One thing's for sure...no matter the situation...in the heat of passion, things are bound to get...a little cold." Batman finished walking away along with his team.

**The End!**

**End of Season 5**

**Alrighty guys, glad you enjoyed that one. Congrats to my boy Kyrogue23 for being the first to solve the mystery. Get ready for Season 6, coming to a computer near you January 1st 2012. Were starting with the original Harley Quinn also now our latest villain Nurse Pain. Got more Mrs. Freeze up next with more from all your favorites, so get ready cause more Total Drama Batman is headed your way, PLEASE REVIEW! And stay tuned!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Batman

**Kristen Fairlie: **Batgirl

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Courtney Montoya

**Christian Potenza: **Chris Gordon

**Dan Petronijevic: **Nightwing

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Jennifer Hale: **Mrs. Freeze, Caroline Greenway

**Katie Crown: **Poison Ivy

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Catwoman

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Harley Quinn

**Rob Paulsen: **Gil Mason

**Dana Delaney: **Nora Fries

**Mari Devon: **Summer Gleeson

**Tara Strong: **Elizabeth Styles

**Candi Milo: **Police

**Kath Soucie: **Police, additional voices

**Tress MacNeille: **Additional Voices

**Peter Oldring: **Mr. Freeze


	115. Author's Note IV

Preliminary episode guide for Season 8

**SEASON 8**

**(1) Love and War: (Story by PhenomsServant) Catwoman, Heather Al Ghul, Lock-Up, Tuck- **Catwoman and Heather are sick and tired of their constant squabbling over who loves Batman more. So the two decide to duke it out. Their fight attracts the attention of the recently escaped Lock-Up (Richard Moll) and Tucker Vanzetti (Jeff Bennett) who quickly capture the duo. They put them in a life or death scenario, winner has the honor of being their slave. The girls decide to put aside their differences to save each other, while meanwhile Batman observes their struggle and offers a much needed helping hand

**(2)**The TDB Christmas Special: (Rewrite of Christmas With the Joker, dedicated to Kyrogue23) Joker- **It's Christmas Eve, Batman and Robin are finishing their nightly rounds, Batman is a little uneasy knowing Joker has escaped, Trying to relax, Geoff, Cody, Trent, and Alfred later stumble upon a Christmas special on every channel in search for "It's a Wonderful Life" Joker hijacks television for his sick little Christmas special "Christmas With the Joker" he even kidnaps Chris, Chef, and Summer Gleeson (Mari Devon) and sends the Bat duo on a wild goose chase across Gotham in stopping his evil plans, will the bat team stop the Joker by midnight? Or will the Joker get his ultimate Christmas wish?

**(3) Burn For You: (Story by Sparkling-nexis137) Firefly (Intro)- **Sierra Lynns has but two loves: Cody Drake and anything pyrotechnicy. Her obsession reaches a boiling point when Cody's true love Sara Rhinehart (Mae Whitman) joins their school. Sierra is crushed when she learns this. But one night she stalks him to find out he is in fact the boy wonder Robin. And that his beloved knew the whole time. And is really crushed to find out Rhinehart is none other than the villain The Exterminator. The purple haired psycho realizes Cody/Robin has a thing the the bad girl type, so; using her love for all things that combust and go boom, she decides to make herself into a super villainess, called Firefly, with her first act of bad-ness, to eliminate her Cody-Kinz only competition, the Exterminator, Robin, Night Hacker, and Batgirl must stop this nightmare before Trent finds out that this whole "dating situation has gotten out of hand.

**(4) A Cat In the Hand...(Story By SergeantEpsilon, archive of Tyger Tyger) Dr. Hugo Strange (Intro)- **While watching her favorite cats at the Gotham zoo, Catwoman is Catnapped. She awakes inside the lair of Dr. Hugo Strange (Corey Burton), a psycho-analyst who is trying his hand at genetic mutation and gene splicing. She is terrified to hear she will be his next test subject. Batman, unable to save her in time quickly learns Gwen is changed into a beautiful teal and dark cat. Strange is not about to let his most valuable pet escape. Batman is oddly enough joined by Dr. Steinreich (John Glover) and The Exterminator both unhappy with the goals Strange has in mind for everyone in Gotham city, as well as his long term project. Gwen is both happy and unhappy to learn that some of the cat-like genes are quite permanent.

**(5) Clay Facial: (Story By Sparkling-nexis137) Clayface (Intro), Roland Daggett (Intro)- **Host of the hottest reality show in Gotham City, Celebrity Manhunt; Blainely Stacey Andrews Hagen, is fired after breaking into the home of Trent Wayne as well as snooping around his personal belongings trying to get an interview with him. He turns to Roland Daggett (Ed Asner) a crooked Industrialist for a new rejuvenating mud mask to make herself look younger and to remind the producers just how "Blainerific" she truly is. The radioactive material (Which Daggett admits was forged from clay found in the Radioactive disastrous ghost town of Chernobyl) turns Blainley Hagen into the criminal diva known as Clayface. She uses her new abilities to kidnap some of Gotham's most trendiness celebrities for some Face to Clayface Interviews. Will Batman and Batgirl stop this shape shifting criminal? Neil Patrick Harris, Beyonce, Matt Damon, and Kate Beckinsale guest star, along with mayor Hill (Kevin Conroy), Ferris Boyle (Mark Hamill) for some reason, Summer Gleeson, Jack Ryder: The Creeper (Jeff Bennett) and news reporters Clark Kent (Tim Daly) and Lois Lane (Dana Delaney)

**(6) BFFFL Breakdown (Story by Sparkling-nexis137)- The Ventriloquist&Sadieface, Riddler, The Mad Hatter- **Katie and Sadie end up in their first fight ever, so bad it causes the duo to finally split up for good. Each determined that they're the better villain, decide to show the city just that. Sadieface teams up with the Mad Hatter to make the entire Gotham police force into her ventriloquist zombies, whereas Katie turns to Riddler for Solace and help. He invents her the Not-Sadieface-Giant-Robo-Puppet Mach 5 (voiced by David Kaufman, Rob Paulsen, and John DiMaggio) to help her on a giant crime spree across the city. Batman, Robin and the Exterminator go all out to stop the crime wave and reunite the BFFFL's before they destroy Gotham City.

**(7) Stardoom: (Story By Sparkling-nexis137) Clayface, everyone else Absent: Hugo Strange, Dr. Hans Steinreich, Tuck- **A new film is being directed by Gotham's latest fame obsessed villain, Clayface; her stars, every villain in Gotham. The villains, promised the film would be directed by Spielberg, are disappointed at first but the promise of fame, cozies them up to the idea. It's the liberal hit of the century as the villains create the ultimate comical, tragic, romantic, sci-fi, mystery, sports, action adventure, horror, fantasy, environmental documentary combo film ever! And what better climax would it be to bring the ultimate demise of the destruction's of the film's main antagonist: Batman.

**(8) Mother of Mayhem: (Story by Sparkling-nexis137) Bane- **Bane is shocked to learn that his momma is coming into town for a visit. The dumbass not only told his mother through letters and phone calls that he is reformed but also tells her he is a super hero of Gotham fighting the villain Count Batmaniac, and his henchmen Crow, Bat-venom, and their wheel chair bound sidekick Bat-Claw. Feeling deception is the only answer, he begs Batman and co. to help him out and show his mother he is who he says he is. In exchange, Bane promises no crime for the duration of his mother's stay but also promises a feast of all the awesome foods he is perfectly capable of producing. Will the Bat team help? Will someone spill the beans? And can Bane, really be the good guy?

**(9) Booquet (Story By Sparkling-nexis137) Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn- **The three team up to create the ultimate nightmare, they create a new flower that emanates the same scent that produces Scarecrow's fear gas. Ivy has the flowers spread all over town to create the ultimate Nightmare Garden, with everyone living in there own hallucinogenic world of their own worst fears. While Harley adds insult to injury by just being Harley. The three are free to take over the city at will, and it will take more than Batman to stop them.

**(10) Throw-Bat (Part I): The Gray Goblin, Nurse Pain, Introducing two-shots; Micro Man, Clean Freak, The Shadow, Kareem, Permafrost, Snakemaster and Raven- **Trent Wayne heads into the Bat-Cave one day only to discover none other than Mayor Hill (Kevin Conroy) is in the computer chair. He informs Trent that he knew all along of his private crusade and that he was once the first Batman of Gotham city, with a similar tragic back-story as Trent's. They reminisce about good times and bad, Hill deduces some of his old rogues: Micro Man (John Glover), Clean Freak (Diane Pershing), the Shadow (Adrienne Barbeau), Kareem (Richard Moll), Permafrost (Jeffrey Combs), Snakemaster (Jennifer Hale) and the Raven (Paul Williams). They look up where they are now, being reformed, and are shocked to discover Sandmaster is none other than Summer Gleeson. Little does the duo know of Gleeson's plans to become her old super villainess alter ego once more and throw a reunion with all of Gotham's old villains. Both Batmen must stop this throwback madness from getting out of hand. Since Gray and Nurse Pain (Arleen Sorkin) want to join in.

***Mae Whitman (The Exterminator) will now be credited as a protagonist rather than in guest-starring**

***Mayor Hill is now part of the Bat team, as of the end of Season 8. he will also be credited as a protagonist at the start of season 9. **

Okay, I still have one more original episode which will air next season, so I hope you enjoy of what is to come!


	116. Bleed No Mercy! Part I

**Villain: Nurse Pain (Intro) Featuring: Scarecrow**

**Episode Archive: ORIGINAL!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Bruce W. Timm**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini**

**Art Direction: Chris Tucker**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 56: Bleed No Mercy!**

Okay kiddies! Here we go. Batman found himself in an intense battle of wits with the resident doctor of fear-Scarecrow. In a dark ally way in the seedy Park Row district of Gotham.

[Thwack!]

"Ow!"

"Give it up Crane! You're at the end of your rope, there's nowhere left to run!" Batman pointed out that Scarecrow was in fact at a dead end in an ally.

"Ha-ha-ha! You forget eh? I have the element of fear on my side! Ready to face the nuns again!"

"Mimes you pinhead! I hate mimes!"

"Same difference eh, I'm still gonna get away with it!" he aimed his small pistol which fired the fear toxin.

"Aw crap!" Batman jeered, but he knew exactly what to do.

"Enjoy watching a bunch of quiet french people trying to get outside an invisible box-eh?"

"There is no freakin' box! Why won't they understand that!"

"I don't know, and more importantly, I don't care!" he took aim, and fired.

Batman quickly back flipped dodging every shot. Until Scarecrow was completely out of ammo.

"Aw, crap, out of ammo! Damn cheap foreign made gun!"

"That's why I buy American Scarecrow, observe." Batman launched his bathook at the top of the structure at the dead end of the ally. Secured he swung right for the maniac.

"Oh crud-[pow]" Batman kicked Scarecrow clear into the wall, only to realize he kicked themselves a good 15 feet off the ground. Scarecrow was dug into the wall pretty good.

"Ouch...eh." he groaned in pain.

"Sorry Crane but you and your fear are no match for my superior strength, cunning, and American ingenuity-[snap]" suddenly the chord snapped.

"Where's your ingenuity now, eh?"

"Oh no-dammmmmmmiiiiiit-[thud]" Batman hit the ground right on his left elbow.

"Tffffffff-awwwww-tfffffffff-awwwwww-tffffff-awwwww!" he groaned clenching his arm.

Not soon after the police arrived to take Scarecrow back to Arkham Asylum where a crack team of paramedics took a look at Batman.

"Doc, I'm fine really-aw!" he complained.

"No you're not, that's definitely a sprain alright, but nothing a little TLC won't fix." the medic told him.

"Doc, I'll be okay, I just have to get back to-ow, now my leg hurts." he grabbed his right leg.

"Hmm...oh that's nothing, just a torn ligament is all." the other paramedic added

"But we should be thinking about taking you to a doctor Batman...if you want we can take you to a descrete one?"

"No-no, take me to Gotham Central in Dawson Heights, to Dr. Leslie Tomkins, no one else." Batman insisted

"Ha-ha, alright I think we can manage that, come on, we'll help you in the ambulance."

"Sigh...thanks."

Gotham Central Hospital was the largest hospital in the city out of the 6 licensed hospitals. The two paramedics carried the injured Batman into the Emergency door, all the in patients waiting and the nurses and few doctors standing around or helping others, took quick notice.

"Gasp! Batman?"

"It is Batman."

"I don't believe it."

"What the...The Bat?" One nurse was especially interested.

"Not to worry folks, nothing to see here."

"Just another injury in the field of battle...to a guy who wears way too much heavy body armor." the second paramedic added

"Uh...can I help you?" the receptionist asked as if she was at a loss for words

"Yes...Dr. Tomkins." Batman insisted

"Uh...s-s-sure Mr. Batman."

"Hurry up miss, we don't have all day." the first paramedic added.

"I'm going I'm going." she went for the microphone, but before she could.

"Well-look at this." an older woman wearing doctor's clothing approached the injured Bat.

"Hello Leslie." Batman greeted

"Batman aren't you a sight for sore eyes...what happened?"

"We gotta sprained right arm."

"And a torn ligament in the right leg."

"Alright, I'll take a look at him. Thank you gentlemen." the two helped Batman into a wheel chair

"Come on now."

"Up-see-daisy. Ah, there we go."

"Thank you gentlemen." Batman said a little weak.

"Not to worry, I'll have the Dark Knight fixed up in a jiffy, wouldn't be the first time, and God willing not the last either."

"I see you still have your sense of humor Les." Batman smirked

"When knowing you since a child-please, it's a necessity." she pushed him down the hall towards the elevator. Behind them, a nurse was slowly walking up behind, until-

"Uh excuse me, Nurse Quinzel?"

"Yes?"

"You're wanted in surgery, pronto."

"Sigh, right away doctor..." she turned around "Next time B-man."

In a private room Leslie treated Batman's two wounds, with a sling on the elbow, and a compression cast on the leg. The outlying armor on his outfit had to be removed. However, he still wore his cowl, just in case for any uninvited guests.

"You know Trent, keep this up, you'll have no bones by the time you're 40." Leslie joked washing her hands.

"Please, I should have been dead 12 times over by now-"

"13, but whose counting?"

"Well, certainly not you...so, when can I be back on the streets?" Batman asked

"I want to keep you here overnight, to let the casts set."

"O-okay." he said sheepishly.

"Take some Aleve and rest, the ligament will be completely repaired in a good week, as for the arm, and I mean it Trent-three weeks, no Batman, nothing strenuous, or else you will break it...Sigh, oh but why do I bother, you never listen to me anyway."

"Hmm-hmm-hmm." Batman chuckled "You this city needs me Leslie-"

"Well here are your options Mr. Risk-Taker option 1: listen to me for once, and in three weeks you'll be back out, defending the night and trying not to get yourself hurt again, option 2: don't listen to me, and be laid up for 6 months once the bones crack in half."

"Okay-okay, three weeks crystal clear-"

"Annnnnd, I'm keeping you overnight."

"Got it-got it."

"I mean it Trent, no disappearing acts, I'll call Geoff, and see if he, Cody, and Bridgette can be out doing the night saving, you just rest."

"I promise...just make sure no one else comes in here. I don't need any enthusiastic fans looking under my cowl whilst I sleep."

"Don't worry, I'll make sure only me and me alone comes in or out of this room." Leslie assured him.

"Good." suddenly a doctor came in.

"Leslie?"

"Yes Doctor Townsend?"

"Gil Mason requested you immediately...it's uh...ugh, time to clean his bed pan."

"Ugggggh...oh brother, I'll be right there doctor, don't start without me."

"Wouldn't dream of it." he left.

"Mason? I thought he was at Gotham General?"

"He required intensive surgery so they moved him here. He's recovering just fine though...still hasn't gotten the news about Ms. Greenway."

"That was nearly a month ago?"

"Yeah, well the TV in his room is broken, it's a private room, and he's spent the last week and a half sleeping for some reason, talking in his sleep about some girl named Nora to keep her eyes on the road."

"Uh...weird dream?"

"I would assume so, but I'm a doctor, not a psychiatrist. This might take awhile, need anything while I'm out?"

"Yeah can I get some pudding...oh, and this month's issue of TIME Magazine."

"Ha-ha, sure...your so much like your father. On our breaks he would always eat pudding and read TIME

"...Thanks."

"No problem. He'd be so proud of you." Leslie left the room, and locked the door behind her.

"Boy...they sure make these hospital beds comfortable nowadays-zzzzzzzzzz!" Batman hit the sack, catching up on the 8 years of sleep he never had since he became Batman...(By the way, 3 years have passed since The Cat and the Bat as of now...each season is approximately 6 months from start to finish)

Batman got a few hours of much needed sleep. It was near midnight and the rain had started to fall from the storm coming through. And though it was the dead of winter, high pressure tempuratures created a thunderstorm...seriously it is like 53 degrees outside on January 1st, yet we get a blizzard in October...take that Al Gore.

Anyway Batman opened his eyes to the sound of someone entering his room, with a cart of doctor's tools.

"L-Leslie?" he asked waking up

"Sorry B-Man, Dr. Tomkins is a little...tied up at the moment." the woman said in a semi-familiar, high pitched brooklynesey-Queens accent...No offense Arleen.

"What? But she said no visitors."

"Maybe you didn't get the metaphor I was trying to make...I tied Dr. Tomkins up and the other nurses and doctors in this wing in the supply closet 3 floors down!"

"But...why?" Batman asked...slightly annoyed as if this was the LAST thing he needed.

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know." A lightening strike illuminated the darkened room.

The girl was very busty, yet slender. Fair skinned, blue eyes. Her hair, blonde in pig tails. She was comfortably in her late twenties. She wore a doctors coat, cut short to look like a one-piece. She showed some leg she did. Her face was covered in 40 pounds of clown-white makeup. With a black Zoro eyes mask. And crimson black lipstick. She had a red chenille red cross sewn onto her gown.

"Uh...yes I would like to know, that's my job, I want to know things, people like you tell me these things, I catch the bad guy, save the day, I move on, that's how it works. I would assume your new to this criminal thing?" The smug Dark Knight asked.

"Yes, yes I am."

"Now, who are you?"

"The names Quinzel...Harleen Quinzel-NURSE Harleen Quinzel." she said picking up a surgical saw.

"Quinzel...Any relation to a Lindsey Quinzel?" Batman asked

"Oh you are a smart little Bat aren't you B-man. Yes, shes my little sister."

"Gulp." she got closer. "Is it safe to assume you have been driven crazy and this somehow points to me?"

"Yup."

"Boy didn't see that coming." Batman sighed "But why though?"

"You sadistic little twerp! Lindsey isn't just my kid sister, shes like my best friend! And pains me to see her in prison stripes spending the rest of her natural life in the Fruit-Loop box! I visit her constantly, I see how tortured and sad she looks...I can't bare to see her like that B-Man...I just can't." she choked up.

"Shes tortured and sad because the Joker treats her like a friggin' doormat and she keeps crawling back to him! Why I don't know!"

"HEY! You keep your trap shut bout' Mistah J! He's a great guy!"

"Duncan Napier was a psychotic mobster who was turned into a clinically insane sociopath due to chemicals! He's a terrible guy who cares for no one but himself...your sister got caught up in him and now she can't get away!"

"NO! He loves her he really does." she insisted

"Well, looks he roped you in as well...Two Quinzel girls for the price of none."

"It doesn't matter what you think Batman! Time I got my revenge on the man who made my sister go Looney Toons!" she sneered sinisterly getting the surgical saw ready.

"Again, not my fault-[chink]-huh-[chink]-what the?" he suddenly found his limbs shackled to the bed

"Oh yeah forgot to mention-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, all the beds here are equipped with restraints."

"But...WHY! Why would you divert money for medical purposes for bed restraints!"

"Hey don't blame me I think it's it's stupid too! It's just convenient in this situation!"

"STOP YELLING AT ME!" Batman yelled

"NO! You started it!"

"That's it, I'm gonna-"

"ENOUGH!" she got a circular saw ready and turned it on, and a surgical laser was at the ready. "Like it or not you're gonna get what's coming to ya...You'll know the day you messed with...with...Nurse Pain-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha."

"Well I seem to be in quite a pickle, see how I get out after a word from our sponsors!"

**To Be Continued...**

**K kids, get set up for part deuce. Few things here. Check out my new story "The Evil Teacher" and for the first time ever I-Niko56 will be taking Facebook requests. Just FB Nick Durdan, I will be the white kid wearing a blue and gold varsity jacket with a big 'D' on the front...and if you're reading this in like 2 years...just figure it out. Stay tuned...**


	117. Bleed No Mercy! Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"So...Nurse Pain huh? Boy you must have woken up pretty early to think of that one." Batman commented trying to stall for time.

"Oh you know I was so proud of myself. First you come in totally unannounced, I had like, maybe a few hours to put everything together, I literally thought of that on the fly, and I even-WAIT A MINUTE! You were insulting me weren't you?" Pain asked

"Me? Noooooooooo!"

"You, you're a piece of work B-Man, you know that? I'm having a bad day! And all I wanted to do was rub you out-and then go home to my pathetic and lonely apartment-AND YOU start insulting my intelligence" Or lack there of "Even though you're about to be destroyed?"

"Yeah, again, that's how it works, ask your sister she'll tell ya." Oh. I felt that burn from here.

"Grrrrrr!" she readied the saw. "You know, you really should watch what you say around the woman holding the medical tools." Ain't that the truth

"You really are deranged you know that?" Batman asked

"I'M NOT CRAZY!" Pain fumed

"Okay, said deranged, not crazy, although you are that as well, thanks for splitting my eardrums."

"You know what-you know what, just for that...I'm-a taking...your utility belt! Ha-ha! Yeah!" she took off the belt and strapped it around her waist.

"Bat, Utility-Bat."

"Whatever! It's a nice look B-Man, too bad it doesn't do a thing for me."

"Grr..."

_Flashback_

"_I borrowed your belt Bats, but it doesn't do a thing for me-thing for me-thing for me."_

_. . ._

"...You and your sister are so much alike."

"I'm aware of that. Well, it's been real Bats; but gotta do what I gotta do...time to kill ya!"

"Okay, who says, time to kill ya? Not even Joker says that! It's not professional!"

"Who cares, I'm starting a trend!"

"You're a maniac Harleen Quinzel...And I'm going to see to it you go away for a long time...even longer than Lindsey-tell ya what. I'm in a reasonably average mood, I'll see if I can get you a cell close to her."

"Gosh B-Man, after all this you would do that for m-and you're being sarcastic again."

"Hey, you do catch on quick."

"Grrrrr! That tears it, I'm amputating!" she turned on the saw

"Wait, amputation?"

"Uh, duh; you have a better method to murder in a-HOSPITAL?" Pain asked as if Batman should have assumed this

"Well, congratulations, ever since I put on this uniform for the first time 8 years ago, I have been nearly drown, burned, beaten, shot at, chopped into fish bait, shown my worst fear, seen someone else's worst fear, fallen off buildings, smashed into walls-BUT NEVER, has anyone ever tried to amputate me."

"Yay, I feel so accomplished. Okay, I think I'll start with each toe."

"Or, I could escape and throw in Arkham?"

"Well that doesn't sound very fun."

"Not supposed to be...I hate fun-[thwack]" He used what he could of his leg to kick the psycho clear to the other side of the room. Then using every ounce of strength he broke free of the leg restraints, and as quickly as he could, fled the room.

"OW!"

"Ugh...must...get...help." Batman groaned in pain.

"GRRRR! I will find you B-Man! Mark...My...WORDS!"

[Slam!] Batman darted out of the room only to notice the power in the hallway was darkened. He knew Nurse Pain could only be disoriented for so long. He limped over to a nearby gurney

"Perfect-ow." he hopped on "If I can get to the other wings, I can alert the other doctors to help me stop Quinzel and find Leslie and the others."

"Good plan Bats."

"Gasp."

"-Sept you left out one little variable." Pain said walking out of the room

"Hmm, could this variable by a psycho with pigtails?"

"Do you make jokes with all the other villains? Or am I just special?"

"No...actually I really am not this jocular, seriously. But either way, I am going to stop you, one way or another." Batman picked up speed, and rode the gurney down the hall.

"Oh no you don't!"

Pain jumped on another gurney close by and chased after Batman. Now commencing the Great Gotham Gurney Race of 2012!

"Get back here Bats!"

"Yeah that's really gonna convince me."

"GRRRR! I hate your sarcasm!"

"I'm starting to take a shine to it."

Batman made a turn on the gurney and headed for the stairwell. He noticed something fly passed his head.

"What the-you're launching syringes at me?" He shouted

"Sorry! I work at a hospital ergo-I HAVE A LOT OF SYRINGES!"

"And uh, what are they filled with? Dare I ask."

"Chloroform! If I can't have the pleasure of operating on you awake! Then I guess I'll have to put ya under! And with your diarrhea mouth, not a moment too soon!" Pain continued to throw the syringes like darts...thank God she has terrible aim.

"Ergh I gotta ditch this crazy bitch!"

"I HEARD THAT!"

"GOOD!"

Batman smashed throw the door to the stairs and headed a floor down, with Nurse Pain right on his tail. The floor below was still quite dark. He had to face facts, Nurse pain controlled this wing. And she wasn't letting go anytime soon.

"Okay, the connecting door to the central wing is located on this floor, just gotta find it."

"Yeah and I'm crazy, you're the one talking to your-

"LOUD NOISES! See how do you like it! Psycho!" Batman fumed "Ah, there it is!" He found the door to the next wing.

"Grrr! You can't escape me Bats! You can't!"

"I can! I've escaped from better than you!"

"STOP INSULTING ME!"

"NEVER!"

Batman and Pain headed for the central wing. Near the door, two doctors were having a conversation.

"Hey Joe, how goes your night?"

"Ugh, a nightmare-I just get out of surgery, and here comes another one! The gangs at it again?"

"No, they would have told us. You know if it wasn't for the money I would have never been a surgeon."

"I agree this job is so tedious-"

"Excuse me Doctor Freleng, I have those reports on your patient."

"Oh yes, thank you nurse. Ugh let's see here, okay looks like Mr. Mason will be up and running ahead of shced-[SLAM!]"

"One side! Move it! Being chased by a crazy woman here!"

"Oh my God!"

"Batman!"

"I don't believe it! I can't believe it's Batman!"

"Yes it's me, and a crazy nurse with syringes!"

"Ha, you think your safe dodging the doctors eh Bats? Well you're not!"

"Ugh, so I guess obsession runs in your family?"

"SHOVE IT!"

"No!"

"Oh, nurse Quinzel-"

"WHAT! CAN'T YA SEE I'M BUSY BEING MANIACAL?" she asked the doctor

"

Their cross hospital journey brought them to the empty cafeteria. Batman's gurney was picking up too much speed and he found himself losing control.

"Oh no...oh no-no-no-no-no too-fast-too fast-too fast-TOO FASSSST-[Crash]"

Batman found himself thrown from the gurney. And over the buffet counter.

THUD

"Ow...Owwwwwwwww...OWWWW! At least Leslie can't blame this on me-BUT OWWWW!" he managed to crawl out from his position to find Pain's gurney, but no sign of her.

"Huh...ah-must of...ow...scared her off." he limped from the counter, but he suddenly noticed a mist emanating from the sprinklers above.

"Oh no...cough-cough-knock-cough-out gas-cough-cough! Gotta...cough-cough-get out of-cough-cough-here-Cough-cough-cough!" He limped from the cafe feeling weaker by the second, running into gurney's, and wheel chairs, until finally hitting a wall, and blacking out.

"Noooooo-unh." he heard footsteps getting closer until before blanking he saw Pain in a gas mask

"Sweet dreams sucker."

Batman awoke to find himself blinded by surgeon's light above him. He was far too weak to move, and there to his left stood Pain, in a surgeon's uniform, wearing a surgeons mask, which hid the wicked smile across her psycho face.

"What's the diagnosis doctor?" she asked

"Well nurse it doesn't look very good at all. I think we'll have to operate." she said changing her voice. She picked up the surgical laser.

"Laser."

"Laser. Thank you nurse."

"You're welcome doctor."

"Well B-Man, it's been a real hoot but I'm afraid all good things must have their end...you understand, dontcha? … Good." she said sinisterly.

BUT as his future seemed bleak, something amazing happened, suddenly Pain threw the operating table over to establish cover.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!"

Batman could suddenly feel himself being pulled from the room. He looked up to see someone firing a pistol at Pain behind more cover.

"Come on Batman ya gotta work with me here, I got half an arm and half a waist, try and move with me if you can-[bang-bang]"

"Mason...?" he asked weakly

"Try to stay up, your still a little disoriented." the injured Gil pulled the injured Batman from the ICU and they made a right.

Batman saw the hallway, but kept his eyes on the door to the room as they drifted further and further away from it.

Suddenly. Pain emerged holding a Tommy gun. Fortunately, realizing where he was, Gil had pulled them both into an elevator and clicked roof. The doors closed just as Pain fired, and Gil pushed them both out of the way. Finally Batman came to.

"Gil...you saved me." he said trying to stand up.

"Don't mention it, you'd do the same for me...besides, someone had to cause-man that bitch is crazy!"

"Runs in her family."

DING.

"Come on, need some help moving?"

"No I'm good now."

They exited the elevator and threw open the door to the roof.

"Aw damn still raining?" Gil asked

"I guess."

"Come on, we'll take the medivac to Gotham General, Nurse Crazy won't be there." Gil opened the passenger side door to find-

"Won't I?"

"But-but-but-but?"

"It's amazing how fast express elevators are, huh boys?" she exited with the gun. "Time I finally got rid of you Batman."

"We just met."

"Long enough...say goodnight-"

"HARL NO!" A familiar voice entered the rooftop, along with several other people

"L-Lindsey?"

"When we all escaped I figured she could be useful in this situation." Leslie added.

"Quite." Chris entered "Now that you seem calm...Your under arrest for malpractice, and attempted murder."

"And stealing all the damn syringes!" a doctor added

"Okay fine, and petty larceny."

Harl just do what they say-please."

"No! I'm doing this for you-for us!"

"Then listen...what I want...is for you to drop the gun, and come back to Arkham with me." Lindsey insisted

"Do it Harleen...they can help you...please." Batman insisted.

Suddenly, though reluctant, Pain dropped her gun and broke down into her sister

"It's okay, it's okay."

"We'll take it from here." Chris said "Get some rest, k bud?" he asked Batman

"I plan on it. Gil, thanks again."

"Sure." Gil limped with the help of two other doctors leaving Leslie and Batman on the roof.

"Guess it didn't take long to escape huh?"

"Harleen was a good nurse...lousy villain though, terrible with knots." she joked "How you doing?"

"I've been worse."

"Good, come on Mr. Crime fighter...I got your pudding back in your room."

"Yes. Don't help me Les, I can do it myself." Batman limped back inside. Leslie just watched

"Sigh, just like his father."

**The End**

**Alrighty guys, there stands out season 6 opener. Get ready for More Harley and Joker coming up next. PLEASE REVIEW! And remember I'm still taking Facebook requests, inquire within. Stay tuned...**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Arleen Sorkin: **Harleen Quinzel/Nurse Pain

**Kath Soucie: **Dr. Leslie Tomkins

**Rob Paulsen: **Gil Mason, Additional Voices

**Kevin Michael Richardson: **Doctor #1

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Paramedic #1, Doctor #3

**Dorian Harewood: **Paramedic #2, Additional Voices

**Grey DeLisle: **Receptionist

**Peter Oldring: **Ezekiel Crane/Scarecrow

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Lindsey Quinzel

**Clancy Brown: **Dr. Townsend, Doctor #2

**Hynden Walch: **Additional Voices


	118. The Lost Episode, Part I

**Villain(s): Joker, Harley Quinn**

**Episode Counterpart: Joker's Favor (1992)**

**Written By: Paul Dini**

**Directed By: Boyd Kirkland**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 57: The Lost Episode**

In a nice lavish fire place warming study, sits Alfred, sitting in an easy chair, reading a book.

"Oh hi, didn't see you there. I'm Efrem Zimbalist Jr...No just kidding, it's me, Alfred Pennyworth, your friendly neighborhood butler. I'm sure you're here to help me dust the attic and muck out the gutters? No...oh alright more fun for me. But then I'm sure you're all wondering about our little lost episode, hmm? I thought so. Well it tells the tale of one man outbesting the Joker at his own game, some time ago. His struggle has been known as: The man that was cursed by the Clown. So whilst I tell you the tail, who wants some fresh lemon squares, hmm? I figured, alright then, on with the show, narrated by yours truly."

[Cue title card]

_Twas a warm sunny summer's afternoon, mid August I'd say. Thought it was a steamy day...perhaps July...oh that doesn't matter. Anyway, mild mannered and balding motorist Charlie Collins is returning home from a long miserable day of work on the 280 Freeway. _

Swell, some nut's terrorizing the city and for that they cancel the ball game. Boss turned down my raise, our kid needs braces, and Bonnie's probably making meatloaf for dinner. Humph, at what point did I become life's punching bag?" he asked himself.

Suddenly, several cop cars pulled right out in front of him.

"Huh, what's their hurry?" then suddenly Master Tre-I mean, Batman flew right by in the Batmobile. "Whoa, jeez! Oh sure, go on pal, push me aside like I don't exist, God forbid someone moves over to make way for Charlie Collins."

As if the poor fellow's luck already wasn't...how the young kids say "Sucking a big cock." another motorist cuts him off instantly.

"Oh that tears it! No signal, no courtesy, well I'm not going to let this one roll by Jack!" Collins fumed.

Charlie sped up, and changed lanes, so he was right next to the car. He shook his fist as he tried to get a good look at the rude motorist

"Hey buddy! Yeah I'm talking to you pal! You think you own the whole road? Why for two cents I'd...I'd..." he then got a better look to see that the guy he was cursing out was in fact, the Joker. Charlie quickly put on a sheepish smile and waved. Then sped away.

Only to realize the maniac was right on his tail. Charlie looked and still saw Joker was right on him.

"Gasp. That was the Joker, I just cussed out the Joker!" Charlie wailed nervously. "Oh jeez-I-I gotta lose him." Charlie quickly got off at the Cherry Hill exit, which would bring him to Reed Park.

"W-where'd all the cops go?" Charlie asked only to see no police.

He came to a three way intersection where he was stopped short by Joker, giving him a very rude stare.

"Oh no, no-no-no-no." Charlie headed right for the cut through road which would take him right through the park. Unfortunately most of it was up hill. About halfway up. His car stalled. Talk about bad luck, am I right? So Charlie abandoned his car, and headed for a clearing. Out of breath he stopped by a fallen tree.

"Pant...Pant...Pant...[clink-clink]" he heard the sound of two coins land in front of him.

"There's your two sense-"

"GASP!"

"Now, what are you going to do to me?" Joker asked from atop the fallen foliage.

"No, please, you got it all wrong, I'm just having a bad day, boss turned down my raise and-"

"Now look my rude friend, we can't have people cursing at one another on the freeway-It's simply not polite!" he jumped down and grabbed the scared Charlie by the collar. "I'm just going to have to teach you some manners." he reached into his jacket pocket.

"No, please don't, I have a wife, a little boy, I'll do anything to make it up, anything." oh where's Kurtwood Smith, cause we have ourselves a genuine dumbass moment.

"Hmm, anything, says you?" Joker asked. Charlie nervously nodded "Okey-dokey!" he dropped him, then knelt down. "Wallet." he ordered.

"Uh, sure, I-I don't have much cash-"

"Oh pul-ease dummy don't insult me!" Joker fumed grabbing Charlie's license. "Hmm, Charles Michael Collins-that's you! Tsk-tsk-tsk lousy picture though, lousy-address, height, weight-blah-blah-blah-Righty-o Chuckers, here's the deal. I'll let you off, if you promise to a little favor for me." Joker explained

"Uh, okay-what is it?"

"I DON'T KNOW! I HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF IT YET!" Joker fumed, then calmed down "You just taunter on back to your mundane-meaningless little life, and when I need you, I'll call, fair, good, great! I'll be in touch." Joker jumped over the tree, and disappeared, laughing.

Hah-ah-ah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah."

_. . ._

_Oh dear, it appears as though Mr. Collins sure is in one doosey of a predicament...oh, you're all wondering why I'm playing with this little RC monster truck? I just bought it off Amazon, wish they had these when I was a-Master Cody, look out!"_

"_Huh, whoa-[thud]-I'm okay."_

"_Uh, while I go get some bandages, lets continue, shall we..."_

**-2 Years Later-**

Commissioner was walking about police Headquarters one evening with the fat ass Detective Bullock who still has yet to learn my name. Chris was having an elderly moment about people celebrating his success.

"It's a waste of time money and manpower. If I had the authority to block it I would." they stopped right in front of his office.

"Come on Commissioner, it's free eats and you get your picture in the paper, it's a good deal." Bullock insisted

"Ha, I'll bet, what I could be doing is gelling my hair, watching 30 Rock and going over crime reports, that's my ideal evening." Chris entered his office, and read the invitation given to him. "Testimonial in honor of Police Commissioner Christian James Gordon. Ha, basted waste of time."

"Most of the department would disagree with you." Batman said entering through his window.

"Ha, if anyone should be getting a testimonial, it's you."

"I'm just the night shift, you deal with this mess 24 hours a day. You deserve this Chris."

"Okay-okay what the hell. It's a good club, awesome food, could be fun, say you wouldn't know where I could rent a tux-do you?" he looked up and Batman was gone. Chris shook his head "Humph, I hate it when he does that."

Joker on the other hand was not so happy. He was making trick shots on a dart board, the bullseye being an older newspaper clipping of the Commissioner. Joining him, Harley Quinn, and two Joker regulars, Rocco and Henshaw.

"I arranged another early parole, the second I heard about Gordon's little Testimonial, phew!"

"It is to laugh, huh Mistah J?" Harley asked filing her nails.

"I ask you Harley! Whose given more hours of amusement to the Gotham police force that me?"

"No one Mistah J."

"Who is the craziest guy this side of the Atlantic Ocean?"

"Well, you have to admit, my sister is pretty crazy."

"I said guy you bimbo."

"Ohhhhh...then, no one Puddin'"

"I deserve-nay! Demand! The right of honoring our dear Commissioner on his most crowning achievement."

"Here-here!" Harley cheered. Joker took a bow, then turned to his henchmen. Rocco, was reading a Tiny Toons comic whereas Henshaw was asleep. Rocco was smart to nudge Henshaw awake, and the two clapped for their boss who doesn't pay them enough.

"Gonna call in a specialist boss?" Harley asked noticing Joker rifling some old business cards

"Oh no Harley, those are far too expensive, it's just an old friend, whose dying to do me favor-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" He held up Charlie's old license.

Speaking of Charlie. He and his family relocated due to the witness protection program to the darling Cincinnati suburb of Springdale. Charlie was playing some football with his son, while his wife sat in a lawn chair reading-huh, David Copperfield, a charming read.

"Good one Kenny. Go out for a long bomb!" Charlie threw a long pass, until he heard the phone ring. "I'll be right back." Charlie ran inside, and answered the phone "Hello?"

"Hello there Charlie."

"Uh, wrong number pal, this is Don."

"Oh no! I know who you are Charles Michael Collins, oh I don't know why you changed your name to Don Wallace and moved your family to 12 Marigold Lane, Springdale Ohio. One might think you were trying to skip out on our little deal." Joker said reading off the list of stuff he found on Charlie, while Harley gave him a haircut.

"What do you want?"

"What do you think, I'm cashing in that favor you owe me."

"How...how did you find me?" Charlie asked frantic.

"Oh I never lost you Chaz...you've become my...Hobby-Aha-aha—AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA! No listne up Charlie Brown! Your booked on the next flight to Gotham. Tell the fam you have to visit a sick friend-oh and lets keep this between ourselves, K? Bad things happen to those that gossip-capice Carlo?" Joker asked. Charlie looked out the window to see Rocco and Henshaw pull around in a car

"Sigh-yeah." Charlie sighed dryly

"Great, oh I can't wait to see you again Chucko!" Joker hung up. Charlie sighed and put on a brave smile to see his family wave back at him.

_Dear me, it seems as though things keep going from bad to worse for our dear Charlie. Oh since I got you here, can anyone update me on the status on the New York Giants? _

Charlie landed in Gotham and looked around for a half-brained Contingency plan on the fly.

"This is crazy, I can't go through with this." he thought to himself. He then walked up to a newsstand and saw Batman on the front page. "Now that's who I need. But there's gotta be some way I could contact him." Charlie saw two Customs guards by the front door, attempting to blow his cover. But was stopped short by Lindsey, wearing a chauffeur's outfit, holding up a sign that read Charlie.

"Yoo-hoo, over here!"

"Huh?"

"The car's this way, Charlie." she motioned wickedly. Charlie sighed and went with her.

Charlie entered Joker's lair, the Clown Prince put on a huge smile.

"JUMPING JIMINEY CHRISTMAS! Charlie Collins! It's been forever!" he gave him a handshake "How are ya man? Lost a little weight I see-lost a little hair too. Oh Charlie-Charlie-Charlie-Charlie." he threw Charlie into his chair.

"So, ready to do me that...little favor?"

"Please, don't make me hurt anyone." he begged

"Not to worry Chuckers, once you've done my favor I'll send you back home-I promise."

_Will Joker let Charlie leave Gotham alive? Will Charlie defeat Joker at his own game?Will Batman have more than 3 lines in this episode? You'll just have to wait and see. Now a word from our kind sponsors._

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	119. The Lost Episode, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

_Welcome back, now before we left, Charlie was being driven by Joker to where Chris would have his testimonial, the Gotham Peregorinator's Club. Charlie was well dressed. In the back of the van, cleverly labeled "Crazy Clown Catering" Joker explained his plan to the unsuspecting Charlie._

"Okay Charlie, when Harley knocks on the door three times-THAT'S THREE HARLEY! THREE! Not two, not four, not seventy-five-THREE! Understood?" Joker said suddenly redirecting the order to his ditz.

"S-s-s-s-sure thing Mistah J."

"Good, now as I was saying when Harley knocks on the door three times, you open it."

"And?" Stock options.

"And that's it."

"What? That's it? No double homicide? No arisen, no mass murder? That's everything you need me to do? You drug me out here just to open a door?" Don't give him any ideas dumbass.

"Well look at the size of that cake man! She can't possibly open the door and move it all by herself-THINK!" Joker fumed pointing to the cake Harley had to move

"Yeah, my fragile female bones can't bare to do two jobs." neither can your brain.

"He's nuts." Charlie whispered.

Inside, where the festivities had already begun, We first cutscene to Chef Bullock, stuffing his face with hors d'eourves.

"Yum, not bad, what do you think Montoya?" Chef asked Courtney

"Gee Harv I wouldn't know considering you've-EATEN ALL OF THEM!"

"Boy your extra frisky tonight, that time of the month?"

"You know, I once wondered why you haven't been married...NOW I KNOW!" Courtney grumbled walking away.

"...You still haven't answered my question." dumbass

Anyway Master Trent was congratulating Chris in person.

"Congratulations on your achievement Chris. I'm so sorry I can't stay for dinner."

"Humph, the life of a busy socialite-any way I can sneak out with you?" Chris asked

"Ha-ha, now-now tonight's your night-"

"Oh please this party sucks man, I need some damn fun." Chris begged

"Sorry, unless you count payroll (or being Batman) as an idea of fun, I suggest you stay here."

"Oh, oh alright." they shook hands, and Trent exited.

Charlie and entered the room, and started to talk to himself in order to fire up a cracker jack plan to find a way out.

"Hmm, a room filled with cops and no way to warn them." he said to himself. "If only there were some way I could signal Batman." Charlie turned his attention to the Hall of Inventors after noticing Rocco and Henshaw dressed as waiters on the other side of the room.

Charlie entered, and looked for some sign that he could use to signal Master Tre-er I mean Batman. As luck would have it, a large bird attached to a crane looked very much like a bat in the dark.

"No, it would never work-not in a million-well maybe." Charlie went for the controls and moved the crane so that the 'bat' was facing one of the windows.

Hey, I finally get my little cameo. I was busy driving Master Trent back home so he could change. And-yuck, do I need to shave.

"Shame you couldn't stay for the festivities Master Trent, I'm sure the crowd would be riveted by the infectious melodies played on your trusted guitar."

"Your sarcasm is really starting to get on my nerves Alfred, plus; I can't knowing the Joker is loose."

I looked out the side view mirror to see the swinging bat rock back and forth against the window.

"Well it appears sir you're wanted inside."

"Huh..." Trent looked around. "What in the world?"

Back inside, Everyone sat down and prepared for Commissioner Gordon to make a half-baked speech...emphasis on 'baked'

"I am honored...that Gotham's finest came here today to rub elbows with this, tired old Beat Cop."

"You eating that roll Montoya?" Chef asked grabbing the detective's roll.

"I'm quite touched that everyone decided to honor me this-[knock-knock-knock]"

Charlie heard his cue. He rushed to open the door, he still held onto the handle as Lindsey, dressed a sa sexy cop, pushed the cake in.

"Why you concluding Chrissy the parties just getting started!" she announced

"Oh yeah entertainment." Chef licked his fried chicken stained lips.

"Aw jeez." Courtney rolled her eyes

"Hey sugar, you gonna read me my rights?" Chef asked

"Sure, you have the right." She got out her knightstick "To remain...silent-[thwak]"

"OW!" Chef rubbed his knee cap after Lindsey had smashed it.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha." Courtney chuckled

Lindsey pushed the cake in front of Chris. Charlie tried to run, but he soon discovered his hand was glued to the door.

"What the-ew."

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ahem, this is a poem, which I wrote myself-" Which took her 2 months to write "In honor of our dear Commissioner...Here's to you Commissioner G, you lock up the crooks, the weirdos, the freaks, your a hero to all the folks in blue; but this time sucker, the jokes on you!" [TWEEEEEEEEEEET]

Lindsey blew the whistle really loudly, so loud in fact, it made the candles on the tables suddenly ooze a blue gas.

"Cough-cough-cough-cough."

Lindsey wisely put on a gas mask, and ran over to put one over Charlie's mouth. Suddenly everyone infected by the gas started to literally, freeze in their tracks. Then, who should pop out of the cake, but the Joker as the gas cleared

"YES! Another stunning Joker entrance! Let's hear it for him folks!"

"Yeeeeeeeeeah! Yeah!" Lindsey cheered

"Yeah!"

"Go Joker!"

"Woot!" Rocco and Henshaw shouted...everyone else couldn't talk as they were still frozen.

"Boy, tough crowd." Lindsey joked.

"Commissioner, I am here to present you with a small token of affection." he took out a small Joker bomb and pinned it on Chris's lapel. "From me, and all the men and women doing 25 to life. Wear it in good health, all remaining 60 seconds that is, see ya-oh wait-no I won't-AHA-HA-HA!" the duo walked for the exit along with their henchmen.

"Wait, I thought you said you were going to send me home!" Charlie asked confused

"I never said anything about-alive!"

"You dirty-evil!" Charlie went up for a punch, but was cut short as the door held him back.

"Enjoy what's left of your pathetic life-Charlie-Hah-hah-hah-hah—hah-hah-hah-hah-AHA-HA-HA-HA!"

_Goodness me, oh how I wish Master Trent would work on his timing. Speaking of timing, I'm supposed to take a few moments to remind all of you to stay in school-follow your dreams-anti-bullying-wow that's a long speech. But, I'm sure simply skimming through that gave you the idea, right? Good, anyway, Batman jumped through the skylight._

"Batman! The Commissioner's medal, it's a bomb!" Charlie warned

"Ugh, why is it always a bomb or fish with Joker?" Batman asked. He ran to Chris.

The timer ticked away. Thinking quickly Batman attached the bomb to the bat hook, and launched it through the skylight. Where did it land? You'll see. Anyhow Joker and Lindsey walked through the facility, towards the van.

"Well, guess I'll need a new hobby since Charlie is-pfft!"

"Macrame is always nice."

"Don't start with me with that Macrame crap-[BOOOM]" there it is. "What! That came from outside! Rocco, Henshaw, I smell a Bat!" Joker called to his henchmen who were looting trophies left and right. "Quick! To the van!" Joker ordered.

"Uh, Mistah J." Lindsey directed him to the nearest window, and pointed to the smoldering wreckage that was once the van.

"Of ALL the places for him to launch that bomb, he picks my van GREAT! Okay then, we'll tough it out here."

Batman used some of the Bat-Glue-Solvent to unstick Charlie.

"He called you his hobby?"

"Yeah-for two years he watched me like a bug in a jar, laughed and threatened my family, I had no choice Batman, really."

"I believe you. But you have to stay here, wait till I get back." Batman left the room, just as the gas was wearing off.

Batman went in search of Joker, walking through a hallway he found his lackeys instead.

"Come get me Batman!" Rocco yelled

"No thanks, I prefer to take the high road!" He launched a bat hook, tying him up.

"Huh-what!"

"High road of justice that is. He tossed the business end of the gun over a large ship relic which sent Rocco flying.

"HEEEY!"

"Okay, where's the other guy?" Batman turned to notice Henshaw with a realistic lance.

"AHHHHH!" he charged.

"Oh boy, Joker really needs to get better henchmen." as Henshaw charged, Batman simply stepped to the side and as the lance passed, he tripped Henshaw, then kneed him in the guy

"OOF-Aw!" he hit the floor, knocked out.

"Well-well, really funny Batman, but let's see how you fare with my favorite girl, oh Harley!"

"Right here Puddin!" Lindsey appeared with two Samurai swords. She did ome really fancy and crazy moves "Ha! Can you handle the best Bats?"

"Hmm, let me see here, how to beat you without really trying, hmm...oh yeah-look! Giant mega 85% Designer Shoe sale!"

"REALLY, WHERE?" Lindsey dropped the swords and looked around. Only to find herself handcuffed to a statue. "Huh?"

"That by the way was record time, congrats." Batmanran off to see that Joker had disappeared.

"Oi, beauty school is looking pretty good right about now."

Joker sprinted out the back door and into an ally, by a fence he was stopped by Charlie.

"Hold it right there!" he ordered

"Oh come on-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Joker walked right passed, and Charlie was having none of that.

"I. Said. Hold it!" he punched Joker right into two trash cans.

"Oof!" he hit the ground. "Why you miserable little nobody! If I get caught, your wife and son are history!"

"You're not getting caught, not this time, not ever again."

"Gasp!" Joker saw Charlie had a Joker bomb "Where-where did you get that?" Joker asked nervously.

"I found this baby blown out of the van. So this is how it ends Joker, no big scheme, no final dual to the death with the dark knight, all tomorrow's papers will read the once mighty Joker, was blown to bits in an ally, alongside a miserable little nobody. See, I can destroy a man's dreams too, and that's the only real dream you got isn't it? It's kind of funny, ironic really!" a crazy Charlie asked getting closer.

"Charlie, you've had a busy day, all this running around, all this excitement with-BATMAN! Stop! Y-y-y-you're crazy!"

"Ha! I had a good teacher! Say goodnight Gracie!"

"No-no-no please! Batman...BATMAN!" Joker's crazy prayers were answered, he saw the caped crusader walking towards the ruckus "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough." Batman sighed "Just put the bomb down Charlie."

"You know he'll only try to escape again, what's to keep him from threatening and my family, huh?"

"Okay, I hear you loud and clear-fine, here's everything I got on his blasted family, names-addresses it's all there!" Joker took out a book, and dropped it. Then sighed to compose himself. "You're no fun anymore Charlie."

"Hey Joker!" He tossed the bomb down. Batman and Joker gasped. The scared Clown prince even used Batman as a meat shield. It exploded. Surprise, it was a prank bomb, spewing out only smoke and streamers.

"Gotcha!" Charlie smirked

"Ha-ha, you know, that was kind of funny." Batman chuckled

"Oh, funny, a million laughs." Joker said sarcastically.

"Go home Mr. Collins." Batman said walking away with Joker.

"Home. Never thought that could sound so good. Wonder what Bonnie's making for dinner...right now anything would taste good...even meatloaf."

And that's our story. Glad you all enjoyed. Well I must be going as I have some linens to take care of...most unfortunate they're Master Geoffrey's-dear God they wreak of monkey cheese, semen and...I hope it's barbecue sauce. How I loathe college breaks. So, please enjoy more of the fine episodes of this show, and uh to my dear friend David McCallum...I'm not dead yet.

**The End**

**K guys glad you enjoyed, sorry I couldn't update last night, had a big time match. We got the crazy lock-down story up next I believe. PLEASE REVIEW and get ready fo some mo!"**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Detective Courtney Montoya

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Drew Nelson: **Duncan Napier/Joker

**Ed Begley Jr: **Charlie Collins

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Lindsey Quinzel/Harley Quinn

**Mark Hamill: **Rocco

**John DiMaggio: **Henshaw

**Maurice LaMarche: **Radio broadcaster, Additional Voices


	120. LockDown, Part I

**Villain(s): Lock-up, Count Vertigo, Mrs. Freeze, Tuck, Dr. Hans Steinreich. Featuring: The Exterminator Absent: Mr. Freeze, Ra's Al Ghul**

**Episode Archive: You're kidding right?**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Frank Paur&Alan Burnett**

**Teleplay By: Randy Rogel&Michael Reaves**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 58: Lock-Down**

Lyle Bolton sat at a round table joined by Hans Steinreich, Tucker Vanzetti, and Count Vertigo.

"Alright gentlemen, I've called you here to undergo one least meeting, just to make sure everything is shipshape for our plan." Bolton announced "I would hate for something to go wrong, because you all know as well as I do...stuff tends to go wrong in this city."

"I'm painfully aware of that." Tuck added "I would assume this would be the only city in the country where more and more good plans go awry."

"Quite right, now all that's left to do is send out the invitations-Vertigo, how are those coming along?" Bolton asked

"Uh-vell...zhe iz a shmall problem vith mein Xerox machine-"

"Oh the moron hasn't gotten around to it yet!" Evil Hans raged

"Dr. Steinreich, calm down, there are other ways of getting our point across, their all morons anyway-we just have to find out what that is." Bolton insisted. Hans transformed back to normal.

"Sorry, lost my cool there."

"Ant hurt my veelings." Vertigo added

"Oh for the love of- look, I suggest we disguise one of us and Skype the villains. I happen to know all have internet access." Tuck suggested

"Perfect, let's Skype or Oovoo the little bastards." Steinreich agreed

"Wait a second...someone's missing." Bolton stood up. "Tuck. Where's Sara?"

"I'm not sure, she said she had some business to take care of in Bensonhurst. But I'm sure whatever it is, it's something important, and maliciously evil."

. . .

"Come on Codykins! Win me the giant Kung-Fu panda bear-pweeeeeeease." Sara Rhinehart begged.

"Oh...oh alright, after all I've only won you nearly everything prize here at the ninja star throwing game! Ah, I love the carnival." Cody smiled

"Look kid, you have nearly cleaned me out! I thought this would be the damned hardest game in the entire carnival! GUESS I WAS WRONG!"

"What can I say, I have the gift." Cody grinned...not like he's been slinging Batarangs since he was 12. "Just need to get three on the red target line...you know...I'll throw backwards.

Cody turned around. And got the stars ready.

"Ha-ha not even you can hit that." the guy said

"Care to bet?" Cody asked

"Sure, hows about I give you todays earnings? Fair?"

"Sold. Alright Sara Bear, watch the master at work." Taking a deep breath Cody got ready to throw.

Several suspenseful seconds later

"NOOOOOOO! WHYYYYY! WHYYYYY!" The game manager started to cry. Cody walked away with a ton of prizes and over 500$ in cash.

"Ah, free enterprize."

"And morons willing to sacrifice theirs. Ah, America." Sara sighed happily. The two sat down, Cody went for the giant cotton candy.

"So you have to tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Your most difficult kill?"

"Well...there's this kid named Cody Drake who I just can't seem to get in my crosshairs." she chuckled

"Ha-ha, I mean seriously-wait-wait-wait, wait; was that a sexual innuendo?" Cody asked

"Hmm-it might have implied-Cody?" she turned to see Cody on his cell phone

"Alfred? Where is everyone...uh-huh...what do you mean the Butler's Association is having their meeting at the house...well tell them to leave...Fine, I don't sleep anyway, I can do for midnight...See ya Alfred-yes, I put my clothes in the laundry...k bye." he walked back over to his hot assassin girlfriend. "Sooooo, midnight sound good?"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha, oh Codykins I love your sense of humor, but not now, the times not right."

"Awwwwwww! But you still haven't answered my question, who was your hardest kill?"

"Okay, her name was-[briiiiiiiiiiing]-oh." he special communicator rang "Yes Master?"

. . .

"_X where are you? You've delayed the whole meeting." _

"Sorry Master I've just been so busy with..." she turned to Cody, just shaking his head "I've been...chasing Robin."

"_You have?"_

"Yes, Yes! All afternoon."

"_Fantastic, oh how I love it when you chase down those that are just so hard to kill. I suppose your secret love was simply a trap. I love it."_

"Yeah right." she sneered a little.

"_So, how has your search went."_

"Uh, pretty fruitless in the passed our or so."

"_Oh, a pity. Well when you finish return to the base as soon as you can, we have determined a plan to trap all of those villains, once and for all."_

"Sounds great. Sigh. I'm on my way."

"_See you in a few."_

"Ergh! F*ckhead!" Sara fumed throwing her communicator "I hate him! He's been so damn obsessed lately!"

"Yeah, this town will do that too you."

"Dammit, we were having such a nice date too."

"I know, I probably have to go anyhow lest my legal guardian/boss sends a search party looking for me."

"Oh Cody...Sigh, do we have a Romeo&Juliet complex or what?" Sara asked

"Eh, Trent's not crazy about the idea believe me, but I talked him into it. So long as we keep things professional in the field."

"I can deal with that...how has Geoff taken it?"

"Uh well...how do I put this delicately...yeah him and Bridgette want you dead."

"But hey, they don't assume parentship over you." Sara reminded him

"Yeah I know...boy is Thanksgiving going to be awkward."

"Oi...just always remember...we have each other."

"Yeah." the two pulled each other in close. For a Bridgette and Geoff length kiss.

"mhmnmhmnmhmmnmhmm." they released

"Wow, you're getting better."

"You're not so bad yourself." Cody added He grabbed her hand before she could get away "By the way Sara...what exactly is this "plan" of yours?"

"Look, no ones going to get hurt, just go in, do your thing, and please go easy on the handcuffs this time."

"Alright, but you owe me a hint."

"That's fair...think "Eat Fresh." Sara let go of Cody's grip and darted away with all her winnings.

"Eat Fresh?" Cody pondered

. . .

"So, is she coming or what?" Steinreich asked

"She'll be here, she was taking care of some little birdie business." Tuck chuckled.

"Robin eh?" Vertigo asked "Perhaps zhe bird boy might be of zome uze to uz."

"No, get your head of your arse Vertigo." Tuck insisted

"Gentlemen! We know where Sara is-good. Focus on the task at hand! Who can we use to manipulate the villains into-"

BANG-BANG-BANG! Came a knocking on the metal door.

"What?"

"An intruder!"

"Batman?"

"Ha, he vouldn't knock."

"I'll handle this." Hans morphed

"Ha-ha-ha-ha! Let's see is our little intruder has the stones to tango with the best of us."

"Yuck, zhat faze creepsh me zhe f*ck out." Vertigo cringed

"Hush Vertigo!" Bolton ordered

"Who is it?" Angry Hans asked as cheerfully as he could. [verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr] "What?" suddenly the door froze, and then broke apart, crumbling, the figure stepped into the room.

"Hmm...not quite as reactable as Greenway crumbling, though amusing nonetheless."

"What?" Hans morphed back. "Who are you?"

"Dora Smithy." Bolton stood up. "And here I thought you'd never thaw."

"I did...and in my new cell I did some thinking...Costumed criminals are despicable!"

"Likewise."

"I agree."

"I concur as well."

"You got it."

"Zo, vhat bringz zuch a cold cutie like yourzelf to our little zub-ztory containment fazility?" Vertigo asked

"Simple, word has it you all want to put those ner-do-wells away for good. I want in."

"Hmm." Tuck scoffed "I don't know, how can we make absolutely sure we can trust you?" Mrs. Freeze approached him

"Hmm-hmm-hmm, come, let me show you what I have accomplished." She approached the door. The men were reluctant to follow, each exchanging weird looks. "Well? Come on, don't be shy. Just you can see my breath though it's 85 degrees down here doesn't mean I'm-that cold."

Confused, Hans shrugged and followed her, the other three followed suit.

When they came to a catwalk. They could see into a circular room below. Everyone gasped

"GASP!" yeah like that.

"Everyone."

"All the villains, they're all there!"

"I can't believe mein own eyez."

All the villains frozen solid and chained to the wall. Everyone from Gray, to Penguin, to Ivy, to even Rupert Thorne. Everyone except-

"Ra's Al Ghul...and my insidious brother in law." Mrs. Freeze sneered. "And check out my catches of the day right over there." she pointed to Batman, Nightwing, and Batgirl, also frozen completely solid.

"Incredible."

"Now if only X could ascertain young Robin, we would have ourselves a ball game." Tuck added

"Miss Smithy, I for one am extremely impressed with your...oh hell everything." Hans said impressed.

"Thank you Dr. Steinreich."

"Ja...Zhis is qvite zhe collecshion." Vertigo scratched his chin "Ant we don't even halv to make zome fake invitations or zomesing."

"Yes, Vertigo, lucky for you." Bolton added "And when they all wake up, they won't know what hit em."

"Good, cause believe me, Batman and his crew were no easy shakedown."

"Not to worry Mrs. Freeze, now that they're our prisoners...We can do whatever we want." Bolton smirked

"Quite right."

"Indeed."

"Yes-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm." Mrs. Freeze chuckled

"Vunderbar! Now vhile ve vait vor zhem to saw, how about I make zome of my vorld famous vudge."

"Ooh."

"Yes."

"I'm down! That's what the young kids say, I'm down, right?" Bolton asked, everyone walked away "Right? Someone say right?"

**To Be Continued...**

**Alright guys, sorry again, my computer is being a total ass lately. But all is good. Oh yes, I'm pitching a new story idea for the new year starring Cody and Lindsey, PM to learn more. PLEASE REVIEW! And be prepared to watch Alfred save the day...PANCAKES**


	121. LockDown, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

-**The Next Day-**

Cody awoke in his bed, and turned over. As he opened his eyes, he saw the smirking smile of Sara.

"Hi ya."

"AH!" Cody jumped.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." she playfully chuckled

"Ugh, Sara, are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Cody asked

"Of course not." she gave him a good morning kiss. "There's no honor in that."

"Right...wait a sec did you...did you spend the night?"

"Uh-huh."

"Uh, not that I enjoy your company...but why?"

"I realized on my way back to the lair. I'm sick and tired of Tuck always telling me what to do-treating me like a child!"

"Yeah I know how that feels."

"So I followed you home, sneaked in, took most of my clothes off, and crawled into bed next to you." Cody's wondering if that's ALL she did.

"...Well, I'm certainly not going to argue with that logic." Cody happily shrugged.

"Now what do you upper class types eat for breakfast?" Sara asked walking towards the door. Where she was stopped by Cody.

"NO!"

"No? No why?"

"If Alfred sees you, I'm DEAD! Dead you hear me! D-E-D, Dead!"

"Oh you're lucky your cute. I thought Alfred and the others were okay with us?"

"Yeah well Alfred has his hit and miss days when it comes to stuff like this, knowing my luck, today is a miss day."

"You sure?" Sara asked. Cody peered his head out of the door.

"Eh, six to one half dozen of another." Suddenly Cody saw Alfred walk down the hallway. "Aw jeez! He's coming, hide!"

"Where?"

"Your the assassin! Ad Lib!"

"Cody that doesn't make any-"

"I SAID AD LIB WOMAN!" He fumed. Sara quickly hid behind the closed window curtains.

Alfred entered Cody's room.

"Ah, Master Cody, it's 9:03 and you're out of bed. What's the occasion?" the witty Butler asked

"Uh...puberty?"

"Ah yes, the dreaded maturity cycle. There's a road I haven't seen in many years." Alfred added "I've fixed your breakfast, it's waiting for you on the table."

"Uh, great, I'll be down in a few minutes." Cody said sheepishly.

"Alright, oh and Master Cody, one last thing."

"Yes Alfred?" Cody asked thinking he was in the clear.

"Do tell Ms. Rhinehart to find a better hiding place next time...if there is a next time that is." Alfred opened the curtains.

"Uh...hey, just checking the windows-[knock-knock-knock]-yup, those are solid alright-well I best be going."

"Just one minute." Alfred stopped her. "What were you doing here."

"Uh...sleeping?"

"...I'll buy that one." Alfred scratched his chin. "And I'll let this one slide, but boy are both lucky Master Trent wasn't at home to witness this."

"What do you mean, wasn't home? He didn't come back Alfred?"

"No and I'm getting worried. I tried Master Geoffrey, and Miss Gordon, all dial tones. I think something terrible has happened."

Cody and Alfred glared at Sara.

"What? You guys weren't part of the plan! Hell we chose our location simply so you wouldn't find us!"

"Where are they?" Alfred asked

"Okay, how do you know it was even us?"

"Sara just tell us the location."

"Okay fine."

At this undisclosed location the villains and Bat crew alike awoke. They slept due to the length of time of being encased in the ice...Gray Goblin suddenly awoke, being really-really cold.

"Mother of pearl! Dear God I feel like I just stepped out of an icebox and into Miami!" he shouted describing his cold feeling inside the warm facility

"Huh-what?" Riddler woke up next. "What in the?" he noticed he was chained to the wall. "Well-well, this is brilliant." he nudged Nurse Pain next to him, still asleep. "Hey? Whose the chick?"

"My sister." Harley Quinn added

"Lindsey? Where are you?" Ivy asked.

"Over here Red!"

"What's the meaning of this?"

"This is outrageous!"

"I can't believe this is happening!"

"This is so bizarre!"

"Yeah Hatter, even for us."

"Hell! Even for a cartoon!"

"I wanna sandwich!"

"Hold it-Hold it-HOLD IT!" Joker broke up all their clamoring. "Fact of the matter is, we've all been kidnapped, frozen, then thawed chained to these walls in this incredibly hot-hot facility-"

"I think it's nice-"

"Haaaaaaaaarleyyy! No interrupting me!"

"Y-y-y-y-yes sir Mistah J."

"Good, now that we all know this, let's put that behind us and plot some avenue of escape. I'm sure if we put our many heads together, were bound to think of some way to-"

"Unh...ugh." Batman was waking up.

"Well-well-well...look what the-"

"Joker, don't say it." Catwoman warned

"Oh I'm saying it."

"Joker!" Gray ordered

"I'm gonna do it."

"JOKER!"

"Look what the bat dragged in-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Ugh!"

"He said it!"

"Unh...W-where-where are we?" Batman asked

"Glad you could join us Bats, we were just trying to figure that out." Rupert Thorne said.

"Well, lemme shed some light o the subject." Batgirl interjected. "Who has the means, and the want to imprison us all? It has to be Lock-"

"You're right my dear. Lock-Up is involved." Steinreich appeared on the Catwalk above. "But the true master plan goes to yours truly."

"Steinreich!" Bane grimaced

"And let's not forget the one who got you all here in the first place." Mrs. Freeze entered through a doorway on their level.

"Quite, if it weren't for Ms. Smithy here, we'd be running like chickens without heads." Lock-Up joined her.

"I would assume were missing the little backstabber and Mr. Vanzetti too?" Nightwing asked

"True X seems to be MIA. But I'm certain shes looking for your little bird." Tuck added. He too was on the balcony.

"So, I'm certain you're all wondering why, hmm?" Steinreich asked

"No, not really."

"You all hate us anyhow."

"Kinda figured."

"Well did you all figure how were going to torture you for the rest of your meaningless li-"

"Zzzzzzzz." Freeze was interrupted by the sound of snoring. "Who dares interrupt me?" she asked looking around

"Oh, that must be Harleen, she has that thing where you sleep...and on occasion you have trouble waking up." Harley explained.

"Zzzzzzzz."

"Well then let this be her wake-up call." Freeze approached the sleeping ex-nurse. "WAKE UP!" she screamed

"Zzz-huh-wha-what? Where am I?" Nurse Pain asked

"Oh good your awake, now all of you listen up!"

Meanwhile Alfred drove Robin and Exterminator to where she said the entrance was located.

"Oh I get it. Eat Fresh, meant a subway." Robin got it.

"You sure this is the place Miss Rhinehart?"

"Positive. The old abandoned North End Subway entrance...well what are we waiting for?" she hopped out.

"You better stay put Alfred. This could be a little dangerous." Cody insisted, he followed Ex inside.

"Humph, stay put he says...a little dangerous he says...well I maybe old, but once an S.A.S. Agent...always an S.A.S. Agent."

Ex led Cody down a secret elevator.

"Okay, so I "pretend" to capture you, once they're preocuppied, I turn off the lights, and then we scramble to free all the villains and no ones the wiser."

"Good plan."

"That's why I'm the best." DING "Let's go."

The elevator opened right on the catwalk, Tuck noticed Ex immediately.

"X...that you?"

"Yes master."

"And you've brought Robin-"

"OWWW!"

"AWWW!"

"Dammit!" the villains groaned.

"Yeah, I spent the whole night tracking him down...did I do good master?"

"Good...ha-ha, this is fantastic, well done X, I'm very impressed."

"Thank you Master."

"Oh yes I wanted you to meet our new friend..." he pointed to Freeze below.

"Mrs. Freeze?" Ex was not expecting that.

"Ah yes, the great Exterminator...I've heard so much about you." she took an elevator up to their level. "Such a nice job you did with capturing Robin." she aimed her freeze ray at the boy-wondercicle. "It just wouldn't be fair if I didn't turn him into a Boy-Wondercicle." already made the joke, try and keep up.

"WHAT?"

"What the?"

"The lights." suddenly, the lights faded.

"Ergh! Someone find out what happened with the lights!" Lock-Up ordered.

In the kitchen Vertigo was fuming.

"Ach! To lipshiel! I need Powah to make zhe vudge." suddenly he heard a noise. "Vhat vaz zhat?" CLONG! He was hit in the head with a skillet.

"Hmm, this is a quality pan, I think I'll keep it." the voice belonged to none other than Alfred. "Now that this place is on Lock-Down, things should go, quite smoothly...ha-ha, too dangerous, what a hoot." he made his way to Steinreich, morphed into angry Hans.

"Where is Vertigo! Dammit! Where could he have-what-what, wha-what's happening-whoooooa-[clonk]-unh." Alfred got the doctor in an underhook, and slammed him into the rail.

"Hans!" Lock-Up yelled. He entered the dark catwalk.

"Too easy." with a running start, the Butler pushed him off the catwalk, and down below.

"Whooooooa-[thud]-awwwwww!"

"Three down." he turned his attention to Mrs. Freeze, facing away from him. Suddenly the lights turned on.

"Where-oh, that's more like it." she felt a tap on her shoulder. "Huh?" THWOK! She turned around, and took a face full of Butler head-butt!

"I know it's rude to touch a lady, but in this case."

"Hey, look at that!" Scarecrow jumped.

"Is that Bruce Wayne's Butler?" Two-Face asked

"Yes. Just a passerby, heard the commotion...thought I'd help." he winked at Robin and Ex. Whose eyes quickly went wide.

"Alfred!"

"BEHIND YOU!"

"Huh-gak!" Alfred found himself being garroted from behind by Tuck.

"You've messed with the rest, can you handle the best...old...man. Come on X, now!" she was reluctant to shoot. "What are you waiting for, I said-wha-[clang]" Tuck was picked up by Batman, and tossed into the rail. Knocking him out.

"I think that's enough fun for one day, hmm?"

Later, all the villains were taken back to their respective areas of correction. Alfred stood with the bat team whereas Cody and Ex did some goodbye canoodling.

"Where'd you learn to fight like that Alfred?" Nightwing asked

"Around."

"He's seen a lot in his day. Cody knows, right Co..never mind."

"Well, thanks for helping us out Alfred. You should try more often."

"Why not, only when the time comes everyone...when the time comes...oh, and Master Trent?" INSIDE VOICE

"Yes."

"I could have escaped from that garrote...I just wanted you to get some exercise." the butler smirked. Batman did the same.

**The End...**

**Sorry, a tad rushed there, but it's late, I'm tired and I got Midterms in a week to study for...oh F*CKING JOY! So, get ready for more PLEASE REVIEW-you know the drill...and congrats to PhenomsServent for being the story's 400th Review!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Nightwing

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Rhinehart/The Exterminator

**John Glover: **Dr. Hans Steinreich

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Angry Hans, Game Manager

**Richard Moll: **Lyle Bolton/Lock-Up

**Jennifer Hale: **Dora Smithy/Mrs. Freeze

**Maurice LaMarche: **Count Vertigo

**Jeff Bennett: **Tucker Vanzetti/Tuck

**Drew Nelson: **Duncan Napier/Joker

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Lindsey Quinzel/Harley Quinn, Katie Wesker/The Ventriloquist

**Marco Grazzini: **Alejandro Dent/Two-Face

**Katie Crown: **Izzy Isley/Poison Ivy

**Carter Hayden: **Noah Nygma/Riddler

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Gwen Kyle/Catwoman

**Brian Froud: **Harold Tetch/Mad Hatter

**Peter Oldring: **Ezekiel Crane/Scarecrow

**Rachel Wilson: **Heather Al Ghul

**Mark Hamill: **Ferris Boyle/The Gray Goblin

**Arleen Sorkin: **Harleen Quinzel/Nurse Pain

**Lauren Lipson: **Sadieface

**Scott McCord: **Owen Cobblepot/The Penguin

**Adam Reid: **Justin Jones/Killer Croc

**Cle Bennett: **DJ Hughes/Bane

**Julia Chantrey: **Eva Evanovich/Red Claw

**Paul Sorvino: **Rupert Thorne


	122. Earth Year? Part I

**Villain(s): Poison Ivy, Ra's Al Ghul Featuring: Heather Al Ghul**

**Episode Archive: ORIGINAL!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini&Brynne Stevens**

**Art Direction: Chris Tucker&Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 59: Earth Year?**

Mayor Hill stands on a makeshift stage at a podium in Reed Park. He directed his attention to all of the hippies, tree huggers, and earth lovers alike.

"People of Gotham, let me be the first to wish you all a happy Earth Day!" everyone clapped "Alright-alright settle down now. It has finally come to this country's attention, that green is most certainly the way to go." More cheers. "So with much persistence from city council and green activists alike, it is my honor as your mayor to introduce to the brand new-Thomas B. Wayne memorial forest! Right here in Reed Park!"

The crowd cheered. Mayor Hill revealed the large field with a ton of fresh trees being grown behind him.

"This project was the dream of Industrialist Trent Wayne, son of Thomas, of whom this is dedicated to. Trent's foundation-"

. . .

Alone and all sad and stuff. Izzy Isley sat in the empty rec room in Arkham. She starred out of the barred window wishing she could spread some eco terror throughout the city on this-her most festive of holidays.

"Sigh...Earth Day...My most happiest and favorite day of the year...sigh...and here I am stuck in this prison..." she stood up. "Because I tried to "kill" a couple of people. Ha! They so deserved it!" oh great, it just wouldn't be Izzy if she didn't go off on some crazy tangent. "Al nearly turned my baby into a thing of the past...Garrett is a moron, and Batman...Ergh! Batman." she sneered. "What I wouldn't give to be out there giving my part to glorious mother earth. Sigh." she walked back to the window. "What I wouldn't give."

"Ask and ye shall receive." a creepy yet familiar voice said out of nowhere.

"Huh? Whose there?" the psycho redhead asked.

Suddenly out of the darkness. Entered the world's oldest man. And his bumbly yet trusted right hand man

"Do not be afraid Ms. Isley, you are in good company. Permit me to introduce myself, I am he who is called Ra's Al Ghul."

"Uh-ahem."

"Oh, and this is my assistant, Ubu."

"Ghul...Ghul...Ghul...any relation to a Heather Al Ghul?"

"Yes, she is my daughter."

"Hmm...Shes kinda cute."

"Uh...thanks?" Ra's shrugged

"So what do you want with me exactly?" Izzy asked

"A proposition, a way to help make the world greener, for the sake of the people-for the sake of the planet...and I know you. Are the only one who can help me."

"I'm intrigued. I'll do it."

"What?" the two asked confused

"Don't you want to know what's in it for you?" Ra's asked

"Uh, making the planet green, duh? That's all I needed to hear."

"Excellent, I can respect that." Ra's nodded.

"There's just one problem...I'm currently serving 18 life sentences for attempted murder, 1st degree murder, 2nd degree murder, 3rd degree murder, manslaughter, grand theft, grand larceny, assault and battery with a deadly weapon, fleeing the scene of a crime, grand theft auto, hit and run, multiple acts of terror, disturbing the peace, oh and j-walking-this prison with a lot of guards stand in our way...how exactly do you intend to bypass that?"

"Hmm, leave that to me." Ra's snapped his fingers, and out of nowhere many shadows appeared.

"What is thy bidding my master?" the lead asked

"Follow my lead. Ms. Isley, consider this your parole. Come, we'll retrieve Heather, and be on our merry way. Ubu, take point won't you?"

"Yes master." they approached the door.

"So...these guys follow you, everywhere?"

"Pretty much, yes."

"And they...listen to everything you say?"

"He pays quite well." A shadow added

"When you've lived since 1407, you learn how to invest properly." Suddenly a guard entered through the door.

"Alright Isley, your alone time is up, it's lunch...time?"

"Ubu."

"Yes master."

… "AHHHHHHH-[smash]" Ubu tossed him down the hallway and into a dead end wall "Ouch."

"Come, might you direct us to the girl's wing?" Ra's asked

"Sure, this way please...Um, Ra's?" Izzy asked

"Yes?"

"Do you have any female shadows?"

"No...it's not that I wouldn't welcome so long as they're dedicated but, none have acquired for a position, why do you ask?" Shes gay dipstick!

"Oh no reason."

The alarm rang. Heather waited by her cell to go eat.

"What in the...?" she looked around. "Wonder whose escaping this time-I got my dessert on Noah!" Sudden;y the main door flung open, and entered a smoke screen, and the shadows.

"Room clear!"

"Search for Ms. Ghul!" Ubu ordered.

"Ubu! Over here!" Heather shouted.

"Ah, my daughter, happy earth day." Ra's greeted her

"Father. Come for a visit?"

"No-no, I'm on business. But it would be criminal to leave my only kin inside this horrid excuse for a sanatorium."

"Great! I was planning on escaping next week, but whatever."

"Hmm, I've trained you well." Ra's nodded "Ubu! The door!"

"Yes Master." the strong man approached the bars.

"Good luck Ubu-they reinforced these-[screeeee]"

"AHHH!" Ubu grunted, stretching the bars out

"-Bars." Heather stepped out. Then noticed Izzy. "Is it safe to assume this "business trip" has something to do with Ivy?"

"Quite, and wait til you see the plans I have in store-come, The Hind is idling on the roof, and gas is expensive...Now if only I could invent the electric helo motor." the made a break for the door, several guards rushed in

"Freeze!"

"Don't move or we'll shoot!"

"A pity, cause we will shoot whether you move or not-dispose of them." Ra's ordered.

"YES MASTER!" [bang bang bang bang bang bang]

"Gah!"

"Ow-aw-unh."

Back at the Park, Trent was chewing the fat with his honor the mayor.

"I must say Mayor, this was quite a turnout today."

"I know, and thanks once again Trent, if only you knew how much your foundation meant to this city? Boy, would your parents be proud."

"I'm sure."

"And now Trent since were alone, I've been meaning to ask you something, it's a rather personal question involving a secret of yours-"

"Uh, hang on a sec mayor, I gotta take this."

"Of course."

Trent looked at his Bat-Communicator watch, and turned it to speaker.

"Batman here."

"_Well my friend I bet you saw this coming, but Poison Ivy is being broken out of Arkham, along with Heather Al Ghul." Chris said_

"Hmm...I'll bet my old nemesis Ra's Al Ghul is involved somehow."

"_If you hurry you can still catch them. Guards reports say they have a chopper on the roof. My department won't make it in time-you on the other hand..."_

"Sit tight I'll be there asap." he hung up. And put the regular Trent voice back on. "So sorry mayor, but uh...something's come up at the office."

"Oh? It can't wait?"

"Sorry, but I'll be back soon, duty calls!" Trent ran off to his car. Hill simply smirked and whispered

"Hmm-go get em kid."

At Arkham, Everyone was being loaded into Ra's, oversized, customized-and yet somehow fuel efficient modified Russian Hind.

"Alright, let's hit the skies, contact!" Ra's shouted. The chopper suddenly got airborne and they were being flown off to Ra's new lair.

"I must say, that went off rather smoothly." Ra's Shadows agreed

"Hmm, a little too smoothly if you ask me. Hmm." he pondered "Something's missing."

"Grr! I'll tell you who it's-"

"My Beloved!" Heather shouted

"No silly I meant Batman!"

"Ah yes, perhaps the Detective is losing his touch-[bang]"

The chopper suddenly experienced turbulence. Ra's opened the door, Batman was climbing up a Bat hook rope to the chopper, he hung onto the side.

"Humph, spoke too soon." Ra's shook his head.

"Beloved!" Heather shouted again.

"Playtime's over Ra's."

"Oh no, my playtime hasn't even begun. You-and the rest of the world will soon see what I have planned for this Earth Day. With that, I must take my leave of you Detective-[kick]"

"ERGH!"

"BELOVED!" Ra's kicked him off the chopper, and he descended to certain doom.

"You won't get in my way again." Ra's and Ivy chuckled evilly.

Falling. Batman grabbed a remote. This called in the auto piloted Bat-Wing. It dropped below him, and Batman sunk into the captain's chair. Unfortunately losing his targets.

"Next time Ra's Al Ghul...Next time."

Ra's took his crew to an old abandoned green house development center, which would serve as his lair. Izzy was amazed at it's structure.

"Wow...this place is...is...is-"

"Incredible? Outstanding? Marvelous? A feat of botanical brilliance?" the demon asked

"How about all of the above."

"And this, my dear Isley, are not even a tip of the iceberg. Daughter, be a dear and make us some herbal tea would you please?"

"Yes of course father."

"I'll assist you Miss Ghul." Ubu followed her out. Leaving the two psycho's alone.

"So, what is this plan, exactly?"

"I'll show you." Ra's turned on a table hologram monitor.

"Give me a second to slip into something, a little more-un-institutionalized." she stripped off her prison uniform and commanded a few vines and plants, to form a new Ivy costume on her, with all the bells and whistles. She became Poison Ivy once more.

"Isabelle you are beautiful."

"Thank you. Uh, your plan?"

"Oh-oh right, yes, of course... This is a map of Earth 2012."

"Uh-huh."

"And, if our planet continues to waste-waste-WASTE! This is what she'll look like in 2052."

The picture looked, brown, gruesome, and lifeless.

"Gasp, how horrible, all those poor-poor plants."

"I know...it pains me too. So, this is what I've proposed. My last plan was far too complex and costly...I have come to the conclusion this planet cannot survive without humans. But, I wish to make this a world where humans, and the environment can live in peace and harmony. Which is why I propose the rapid growth of my genetically altered plants. You can use your powers of commanding them to help. With all this vast cogitation-the human race will have no choice but to maintain them-thus, making this planet green-happy, and most importantly, healthy. This will also be a golden opportunity to help our world's nations come together so to instill p-"

"Booooooooooooring!"

"What?"

"Oh come on Ra's-y, where's the death, where's the destruction, where's the mayhem?"

"Not every plan needs mayhem my dear-besides, this is a peaceful mission, as it should have been in the first place. My first attempt called for over 2 billion deaths!"

"See-see, now that's the kind of thing I like to hear."

"What? You can't be serious." little did Ra's know of the vines moving closer to him. Whereas ra's and Ubu were listening in, with tea in their hands

"Humans are despicable Ra's...they kill this planet...they kill my precious babies all the freakin time! With their bikes running over countless gardens-oil spills killing off each bit of foliage one-by one-those dirty-evil industrialists petrifying forests everyday! You don't know what it's like to sleep at night knowing your so helpless!" Ivy shouted

"But I do know! However this plan will help not only take over the world...but save it as well-save it from itself, it's a great plan."

"Well it needs some work." Ivy sneered

"It's what's on the table, you can either take it or leave it...your choice."

"Okay then-LEAVE IT!" suddenly the vines tied Ra's up.

"Gasp!" Heather gasped only to be muffled by Ubu.

"Ivy-what are you doing?" Ra's struggled

"Something I should have done years ago! I'm taking over! I'm going to use your technology, to destroy the earth...with plants, thus eliminating all the humans destroying this glorious earth-making me, it's supreme ruler!"

"You-you can't be serious!"

"I am...there's going to be a huge population decrease Ra's Al Ghul...about a 7 billion decrease."

"Your...Your-your mad! And that means a lot coming from me-mind you I knew Napoleon!"

"I don't care-this is my-"

"FATHER!"

"Miss Ghul-no!" Ubu shouted

"You!"

"You-heartless little Witch! I knew I couldn't trust you Ivy!"

"...Come get me." she smirked

"Daughter no!"

"But Fath-"

"Get to the Detective...he'll help you...it's what he does!"

"She can try-but all I need is a few minutes-"

"Father, Ubu and I can-"

"GO! Please Heather...go-just know I love you!"

"I love you too."

"Aw so touching-you two better hurry before I turn on the shadows and sick em on you!"

"Go hurry!" the two exited, and sprinted away from the facility.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha...let em run...it won't matter once I'm through with this new plan-hmm-hmm-hmm-ha-ha-ha-ha-AHA-HA-HA-HA! Will I have what it takes? Stay tuneed to find out! Byeeeee!"

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	123. Earth Year? Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Uncowled, Trent sat in the Bat-Cave at the Bat-Computer. It had been hours since he nearly tasted death, and Earth Day was slowly turning into Earth Evening...shut-up it's the best I got.

"It's baffling Alfred."

"You mean other than the fact you're 31, unwed, have two adopted heirs-one of which is but 12 years younger than yourself; have so many enemies they can start their own wacky club yet none of them know your true self, one ward who is dating a former assassin, and another your illegitimate bosses daughter, and have so much money you could make small countries cry?"

"...Okay all seriousness aside-you have spent the last season and a half working on schtick-if it's a Spinoff your after, your barking up the wrong tree." Trent scratched his chin.

"No, I just get bored during the day sir-but I'm sure the answer to the question your after is-What does Ra's Al Ghul have planned with-or for Miss Isley."

"Bingo. You know-if I didn't know any better I would say Izzy is Ra's rightful daughter. When you put all the pieces to the puzzle together, it makes sense does it not?"

"Like your daily life-it's a mystery sir."

"...Okay seriously cut the schtick."

"Sorry sir, just figured your spirits needed lifting. Guess I was wrong."

"Ugh, I'm sorry Alfred, it just steams me to know my most sworn enemy is back in Gotham. And who knows what Ra's has planned. I'm sure whatever it is, it can't be any good. I'll take my dinner here tonight Alfred."

"As I had figured sir, in celebration of the day, homemade vegetarian pizza." Alfred then left the Bat-Cave, leaving Batman to do some work...son.

Anyway while he was a-fixing the a-pizza pies Alfred heard a terrified knock from the front door.

"Now who could that be?" the perplexed Butler asked himself. "I'm coming-I'm coming." he approached the door "Gosh I sure hope it's not Master Cody locking himself out again...or Master Geoffrey for that matter." he opened the door to see Heather and Ubu. "Oh dear, if this is Ra's Al Ghul's plan-I don't follow."

"Alfred! Where is he, where is my beloved?"

"Searching aimlessly to find your psychotically insane excuse for a father, and Miss Isley."

"Stop it with the big words old man! Is he here or not!"

"He's here...and if this is some convoluted plot plot, be warned; I have been known to kick the ass, as the young people say." Ubu suddenly shook him

"You fool! We have no time! Where is the infidel!"

"Alright...He's in the Bat-Cave if you must know."

"I know how to get in Miss Ghul, follow me."

"Sure thing."

"...Nice of you to drop by." Alfred called sarcastically.

Trent was busy going over possible scenarios on the computer. When Alfred came over the intercom

"_Master Trent be warned, Miss Ghul, and Mr. Ubu are on their way down looking for you."_

Trent looked perplexed

"Uh...Okay, send them in-"

"No need. We found our way in." Ubu announced

"Beloved!" Heather ran to give him a hug.

"Heather...what is this?"

"Oh it's Ivy Beloved, shes gone crazy-she has!"

"Uh-huh, and what about your father-what does he have to say about that?"

"That's the thing, My Father had a plan for a utopian earth-it actually wasn't a bad one this time, no 2 billion deaths."

"And let me guess, Ivy didn't like it, and now has captured Ra's, and wants to rule the utopian earth by her and her alone, right?"

"Yes actually in nutshell, that's it." Ubu agreed.

"Well...Boy, the look on your father's face when I tell him I told you so. If only I did in the first place. Though Ivy is the perfect candidate for his mayhem of botanical feats, he should have done a better job looking into her more."

"But Infidel, that's where your wrong. He's studied Isley-learned how she thinks...just apparently chose the wrong plan." Ubu explained.

"Whatever. What is this plan of your father's anyway?" Batman asked

"He's using his genetically altered plants to ravenge the earth, making it greener. Forcing the human race to maintain it, while going about their daily, pollutant free lives. Bringing countries together and extending life expectancy."

"...You sure that's Ra's plan?"

"Positive."

"Suuuuure. But I do see why Ivy hates it. Of course I'll you stop her."

"Really?"

"Just show me where to go."

Back at the park sometime later, Mayor Hill was still entertaining the guests, when suddenly the ground started to rumble...then this happened.

"What in the world?"

"Ahhhhhhhh!"

"Oh Dear God!"

"RUN! RUN FOR IT!" Suddenly huge plants emerged from the ground.

"Now everyone just calm down and-gah!" a huge vine suddenly tied the mayor up, along with the other guests. The city suddenly became crippled in tangled up plants. Far bigger than in Ra's design.

In the skies, Nightwing and Robin flew on the Bat-Wing.

"Okay, so these tanks are filled with, weed killer?" Nightwing asked the Dark Knight over radio

"_Not just any weed killer Geoff. A specially designed weed killer, able to kill only the genetic plants, won't harm any others, and won't harm the humans."_

"Sounds kinda boring." Robin sighed

"_Welcome to the world of crop dusting, just get it done, and hurry."_

"Uh, Trent-something tells me were gonna need a lot more weed killer."

"_What makes you say that Nightwing?"_

"Oh, just a hunch." They were flying right over the city, where the "Concrete Jungle" as it were, was literally being turned into a jungle.

"I hate my life." Robin sighed

"I hate your life too dude."

Meanwhile, Batman and his posse made it to the cliff where Ra's and Ivy were held. They approached the greenhouse.

"So this is the place is it?"

"Yup."

"Sounds a little small for your father's...enormous tastes Heather."

"I assure you Infidel they are both inside." Ubu insisted

"Ubu you have a very important job." Batman grit his teeth

"I do?"

"Oh it's very important-you...get to watch the Batmobile, in case something happens-while Heather and I go inside and stop Poison Ivy. Can you do that?"

"Of course."

"Super. Come on Heather." the two quietly entered the greenhouse.

"Making him do a meaningless job to keep him preoccupied so you you won't have to deal with him, impressive beloved."

"Thanks, I can't stand it when he calls me that." The two suddenly entered a room, where all the shadows of the league of assassins lay sleeping.

"What in the world?"

"It appears as though they have been hit with knockout gas beloved."

"I see...I guess Izzy just really cannot stand humans."

Upstairs Izzy was checking her progress on Ra's hologram table. She rubbed her hands together and produced a smile of pure evil.

"Yes...Yes-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! First, Gotham City-then next...the world! Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! And I owe it all to you Ra's Al Ghul."

"Your mad you know that Isley? I should have known better then to deal with the likes of you!"

"You know, you really should have! I'm crazy mind you."

"Mark my words, my daughter and the Detective will stop you! And put you back behind bars-where clearly you belong!"

"Yawn-blah-blah-blah. Your nothing but a bunch of talk."

"I was this close to killing Hitler in Operation Valkyrie-Don't you ever-EVER tell me I'm a bunch of talk!" Ra's fumed

"Oh surrrrrre you did Mr. Bigshot! Mr. I've-lived-for-six-centuries! Ha! Next you'll tell me you drank tea with Winston Churchill and told Robin Hood he should steal from the rich and give to the poor, right?"

"You forgot assisting Thomas Jefferson with the Declaration of Independence and Sailing with Cortez in discovering Mexico."

"Well-too bad your reign ends today Ra's." the demon looked behind him, and he saw Batman and Heather sneak in. he smirk and began to stall for time. "Boy I can't wait to read that headstone: Ra's Al Ghul, 1407-2012. Don't tell me you're disappointed. 605 years, and you've seen everything from the days of exploration, to the Apollo Shuttles. Must say, I'm a tad jealous."

"You seem so confident in defeating my Isley."

"Oh but I am."

"I must say it takes a lot to defeat me. Even the Detective struggled in his attempts."

"Ah yes, Batman; surprised I haven't seen him show up yet." she pondered.

"I bet he's probably working on your little disaster roaming through the city."

"Or maybe-HE'S HERE!" Without looking she commanded two vines to tie up Heather and Batman.

"Shoot." Ra's muttered. Ivy turned her attention to the two.

"Well-well-well, I thought I'd be seeing you soon Batman, thought you both could sneak up behind me, did ya? What am I going to do about that?"

Back in the city the boys went crop dusting.

"Our tanks are nearly empty!" Robin read the gauge.

"Yeah, but at least were nearly done, all that's left is-the park."

"Ugh, figures." they flew over towards the new forest.

"There's so much foliage it's speeding up their growth process even more." They hovered over the new forest.

"Well, we don't have time for protocol little bro, let's just start sheering!" Nightwing took out two pairs of industrial hedge trimmers.

"Nice!" the two jumped from the wing just as a vine got tangled up in it.

"Alright park goers, this might take a while, just sit tight and watch the pros at work!" Robin shouted

"Nightwing! Robin hurry!" the people shouted

"Just relax, while we get to sheering!"

Ivy was explaining her plan to the tangled up duo.

"And then, once I harness the full power of the eroding super plants, I can command them to do almost anything-destroy buildings-oil rigs...and especially people!"

"And you thought she was going to help you Ra's?" Batman asked

"Momentary lapse of complete and utter stupidity is all Detective. Trust me, never again, you have my word."

"I believe it."

"Enough of this! It's time I finally made it a plants world afterall! And since I have a captive audience...I think I'll start with Reed Park...where Nightwing and Robin are currently causing a disturbance in my babies!"

"No!"

"Yes, all it takes is a flick of the wrist to-"

"NOOO! I won't let you!" Heather was able to slip through. She went to attack Ivy.

"No you don't Heather!" she started to fire from her wrist crossbow.

Heather was able to dodge and then attack Ivy.

"Yikes...she can fight."

"Heather herself has lived since 1881. I made sure she learned every form of martial arts that was available...she learned well." Ra's explained

"Yeah...so have I." Batman managed to get a Batarang to cut through the vine, freeing himself. He did the same for Ra's.

"Thank you Detective...now to destroy this so no one else can ever take over the planet this way again!" Ra's destroyed the table and the computer which controlled the plant growth.

Suddenly all the plants started to whither and die. Nightwing and Robin who got themselves tied up now hit the floor, as well as the others.

"Well, I guess Batman saved the day." Robin shrugged

"Why does he always get to have the fun?"

Back at the greenhouse, Ivy was appalled at what the demon had done, she finally threw Heather off of her and stood up.

"NOOOOO! My plan ruined! WHY!"

"Because you wanted to use my glorious plan for more evil purposes than it was designed...and for that, since all is well I must take my leave of you all." Ra's lit a Zippo and tossed it into a plant specimen, which caught on fire, spawning a chain reaction. "I recommend running. Come Daughter! And thanks for your help Detective, I guess I owe you one!" Ra's quickly left with Heather who managed to hit Ivy one last time. Batman offered the plant loving psycho a helping hand.

"Same old Ra's Al Ghul."

As if we didn't see this before Batman ran out of the greenhouse with Ivy just before it imploded. Ra's had taken all the Shadows and Ubu along. Batman saw the helicopter fly away. Police cars converged on the location.

"No...all those innocent plants...gone." Ivy sobbed. "This is the worst Earth Day ever!" Batman turned to Commissioner Gordon

"Nice work my friend."

"Thanks Chris...but I can't take all the credit for this one."

"Really?"

"Yup...it was from a little help, from The Demon's Head."

"Who?" Chris asked in disbelief

"The world's oldest and most controversial man and villain the world has ever known."

"And that would be?"

"Ra's Al Freakin' Ghul."

**The End...**

**Alright funky party people! Game Over is up next! With some Gray Goblin, I know you'll enjoy that! I ask you to PLEASE REVIEW! and get ready for more Bats! Stay tuned!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Nightwing

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Katie Crown: **Izzy Isley/Poison Ivy

**David Warner: **Ra's Al Ghul

**Rachel Wilson: **Heather Al Ghul

**Jim Cummings: **Ubu, additional voices

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill

**Mark Hamill: **Various Shadows

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Various Shadows, Arkham guard

**Fred Tatasciore: **Arkham Guards


	124. Game Over, Part I

**Villain(s): The Gray Goblin, Mad Hatter, Riddler. Featuring: Catwoman**

**Episode Archive: Hell no**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Eric Radomski**

**Teleplay By: Alan Burnett&Marty Isenberg**

**Art Direction: Eric Radomski&Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 60: Game Over**

Noah Nygma sat in his new office, whilst his new boss told him about his new assignment. Yes, it's all new.

"Alright Nygma, let's get one thing clear right from the git-go. I didn't spring ya from the Fruit Loop box so's you can just sit around and not work your magic."

"Pardon my rudeness Mr. Aschenbach, not that I'm not totally grateful of you for bailing me out of Arkham...what do you need me for, exactly?"

"Simple. I'm no fool I know you are the brains behind Zombie Slayer."

"Yes, twas my first major project."

"And also your last if I recall."

"Yes-yes, water under the bridge. Yet so, why do you need me at Infinityward?"

"Simple. My designers have been hitting the wall-ever since Call of Duty: Modern Warefare 3 lost game of the year to freakin' Skyrim! Well, let's just say, it was a moral killer..." Aschenback explained "Call of Duty is our corporations greatest franchise. And since we only partially own the title, as we share it with Treyarch-well...that loss, and now an off year can't be good for our company."

"So let me guess, you want me to design a really great game, while Treyarch limps into the barn with the next COD game?"

"Precisely...and it has to be good-top notch. I mean it Noah. No cutting corners on this one."

"This is-er-was my profession, I wouldn't dream of it."

"Excellent-I'll just leave you to your wo-[ker-slam]"

"Hold the phone there three-piece, you haven't heard my proposal yet." Gray entered the office

"You-how did you get in here?" Aschenbach asked

"I can think of several." Noah sighed

"Nygma, you know this man?"

"Yup, and you do too."

"I do?"

"Allow me the honor of introducing myself Mr. Aschenbach-Ferris Boyle." he shook the executive's hand

"Boyle...Hmm, I thought they locked you up."

"Oh they did, several times-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! But never the less, I here today on business, for a business proposal to my good pal Noah."

"Beat it you psycho! We already have a deal!"

"Oh no-no-no-no-no-no, mine is too help out my friend with his little video game dilemma."

"I'm afraid to ask what it is." Noah said sheepishly

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Riddler my boy you know me far too well-"

"Uh-Gray, can I come in now?"

"In a minute Jervis-Jeesh!" Gray said slamming the door

"Gosh! I need to stop telling people my many middle names!"

"Was that-"

"Hatter yes, in due time."

"What's your proposition Boyle?"

"Oh hush Ash, doesn't concern you in the slightest, here-have some money." Gray stuffed his pockets with dollar bills

"I've plenty, thank you." he handed the cash back to Gray.

"Hmm-suit yourself. Now if you'll excuse me, Mr. Nygma is a very busy man, and I must be getting to work with him on his game-" Gray tried to push him out the door.

"Wait-a minute! Don't I get a say in this?"

"You do, and it's-"

"Oh relax Ash-I only wish to help my friend on his little project-after all, we work oh so well together."

"He is right."

"Oh please." Gray begged

"Oh alright."

"Yesssss!"

"But as a creative consultant, don't expect your name in the credits, and your payment will be under the table as I assume you and Mr. Tetch aren't on bail like Noah here."

"Oh, you are good."

"Can you work with that?"

"Well-"

"It's either that or no go Boyle."

"Oh alright, I'm in."

"Me too-"

"I said shut it Hatter!"

"Okay, good-just get to work, I want this thing released by October."

"My-my October...That's plenty of time-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah." Gray pushed Aschenbach out the door. "Okay, ta-ta see ya, we got work to do, have a nice day-aaaaaand slam." Gray closed the door "Well that takes care of-[knock-knock-knock-knock]-what?" he opened the door, there stood Mad Hatter.

"Can I come in now?"

"Sure-sure."

"Thank y-"

"Just don't say anything!"

"Sigh o-" SLAP

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO SPEAK!"

"Okay Ferris, I got a question or two-one: where did you get all this money? You told me they froze your assets?"

"Simple Noah-I unfroze them-ha-ha-ha-easier than what one might think, now I got all my millions. Ah, I love money." he kissed a 20 from his pocket.

"Okay second question: what exactly will I be designing-cause I'll be honest with you-my skills have been strained ever since I put on the question marks, not gonna lie, I planned on looting the safe tomorrow and hightailing it to Oregon where I will live my days logging and reading."

"No need for the Lonely recluse novelist lifestyle-cause I know exactly what your going to do Noah." Gray began "Your going to tap all your gaming brilliance, and create a game-you will call it "Cat Chasers." I want revenge on that miserable Gwen Kyle."

"Right cause it's her's and Fries's fault your the way you are in the first place?" Noah asked

"Exactly. Shes all I got since Fries left Gotham without a trace."

"So, what aspects do you want in this game Ferris?"

"Whatever you want...[snap]...cause once the kids start playing they'll be hooked...literally-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Gray held up one of Hatter's really small microchips. "The point of the game though has to be this...ahem-something that will want to make those dorky gamers want nothing more than to eliminate Catwoman-at all costs! Can you do that?"

"Easy, I already got an idea in mind."

"Splendifferous! Oh yes Harold...you may speak now."

"Can you add some Alice-"

"SEE! This is why I forbid you to speak! THINK! No kid wants any of that Alice and Wonderland whooey! Not unless they're on enough Ecstasy to choke a horse!"

"Okay, that aside, let's get to work gentlemen."

-**The Next Day-**

The three stood in Aschenbach's office waiting his approval.

"Cat Chasers? Are you serious?"

"Wait! Hold on there Ashy-you aren't seeing the big picture." Gray announced

"Look Mr. Aschenbach, it's kinda like Grant Theft Auto, but instead of a million objectives your one and only goal is to eliminate this cat-like thief." Noah explained

"Like Catwoman?" Aschenbach pondered

"Yes like Catwoman sure."

"Think about it Mr. Aschenbach, A GTA like theme, with a huge major twist, sound slike game of the year to me." Hatter added

"Hmm-I like it. All the fun of Grand Theft Auto with none of the Copyright infringement! I suddenly love this! Nygma! Make it so!"

"We'll do." the three left their bosses office.

"And so begins Catwoman's long awaited demise-aha-ha!" Gray cheered

"And then we gentlemen...will be very rich men."

"This will be the beginning of a great partnership-"

"Shut it Jervis!"

"It's Harold GOSH!"

**-Month's later-**

Geoff Grayson was watching Saturday morning Cartoons...why I don't know.

"Biker Mice From Mars, Master Geoffrey?" Alfred asked in disbelief

"You bet, that show is the sh*t!" It is

"But it's nearly as old as you are."

"Nuh-uh! Huh let's see-uh, forty-carry the two."

"Ugh, how you're nearly finished College, I'll never know. But it's only fitting, you've got your Biker Mice, Cody has his Animaniacs-perhaps I should invite Rob Paulsen over for afternoon tea."

"Really-you'd do that?"

"Ugh...watch your mice Master Geoffrey."

"Okay...but are you serious about Pauls-"

"NOOO!"

"Okay-okay message received." Suddenly a commercial appeared

"_Do you have what it takes? Well do ya?"_

"Kinda."

"_Not good enough, you're gonna need everything you got to take down the Cat! From the creators that brought you Call of Duty! It's Cat Chasers! Available now! Processed by Infinityward, and Electronic Arts! EA Games! A challenge everyday!"_

"I so have to get that game!" Geoff dashed from the mansion faster than you could say "MASON! GET TO DA MINI-GUN!

He drove at Dale Earnhardt speeds to the local Game Stop. Where lines of teenage gamers waited for their copy of the supposed Game of the Year.

"Aw man! So many damn losers! Deadbeats and Momma's boys...wonder if Bane's here?" Geoff ran through the piles of kids, and used his awesome reflexes to grab himself a copy. He ran towards the checkout counter.

"One copy of Cat Chasers please. Ooh, need some ID, I got my license right-"

"That's okay sir you look older than 17 to me." the checkout guy said As he rang Geoff up.

But as Geoff held the game up, it was snatched by a whip, and then brought into the hands of the whip's owner.

"What the hell?"

"Hmm...Cat Chasers huh? Guess I'll have to see what all the fuss is about for myself."

"Oh my God."

"It's Catwoman!"

"It is Catwoman!' everyone stared in aw. Geoff glared.

"I guess gaming will have to wait." he sneaked into the back room to change.

On the roof of the place Catwoman walked casually starring at the case.

"Humph, Game of the Year huh? Bull crap, Now Skyrim, that's game of the year." Seriously if I have to hear the word Skyrim-ONE MORE TIME I AM GOING TO KICK SO MUCH ASS.

Suddenly Nightwing appeared behind her.

"One problem Cat-"

"GASP!"

"That doesn't belong to you."

"Nightwing!"she said in a cheery voice "A little early for you to be out and about...isn't it Geoffrey."

"Huh?"

"Oh relax, I know everything, secrets safe with me-blah-blah-blah, I already went over the logistics with the boss man."

"Well, I can show you some more...on the way back to Arkham where you belong!"

"Oh gimme a break, I'm doing yo a favor by taking this, it's a deadbeat game anyhow, now if you'll excuse me, I gotta hit the gym."

"Arkham has a gym."

"Not interested Big Bird Boy."

"Sorry Gwen but the only Gym I know of is-"

"Oh wait, don't tell me, the Justice Gym?"

"Aw, he told you all the Justice puns?"

"Every one."

"Bastard."

Suddenly several children climbed the roof.

"What the?" and they were armed with various tools and such

"Get Catwoman." they chanted

"Oh boy."

"Get Catwoman!"

"Okay, kinda freaked out now...Alright Crane! Where are you! I know you have your hand in this!" Catwoman called

"Uh, I don't think this is Crane's style." Nightwing added equally scared

"He's right!" Batman landed on the roof. "This is far bigger than that!"

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	125. Game Over, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"Well you're a sight for sore eyes. If you've come to sweep me off my feet, you have some new competition." Catwoman pointed to the swarms of children and gamers alike storming the roof.

"Just come with me, the both of you!" Batman ordered "We'll get this straightened out." with the push of a button he called the Bat-Wing. A rope fell.

"Don't have to tell me twice." the three grabbed the rope, and were pulled up mechanically into the Bat-Wing, they flew away,

"Those gamers are under some sort of mind control. Which indeed points away from Scarecrow and to our old friend-"

"That Mad Hatter."

"Right. And these kids seem to be controlled to eliminate Gwen." Batman explained

"But that doesn't make any sense! Hatter doesn't hate me, at the Asylum he's always looking up my one-piece skirt...which reminds me that warden's an absolute pervert." Catwoman crossed her arms

"Nevertheless, why would Hatter want Gwen gone?" Nightwing asked

"Simple, he's not acting alone...we just got to find out how he got to all those- what the?" he looked at the red alert on the radar.

"Whoa, hang on, 2 bogeys coming in hot!" Nightwing snapped "6 o'clock high!"

"MIG's?" Catwoman asked

"No...I, I don't believe this, according to the scanners, they're Navy F-16 Hornets."

"See! This is what happens when you fly around in the day!" Nightwing shouted

"I don't think these are being piloted by any midshipmen Nightwing." Batman stated "I think, we got more rogue children." he quickly took an evasive maneuver the jets were still on their tail-but out of the playoffs! ZING! GO GIANTS! BEAT SAN FRANCISCO!

"Wait a sec." Batman did a scan of the jets "Those are pilots." the jets fired from their chain guns. "Going evasive!"

"GET CATWOMAN!" the pilots shouted over their radios.

"Okay this is getting really-really weird!" Catwoman shouted

"You're telling me! Hang on I'll try to lose them!"

The jets continued to fire their chain guns at the Bat-wing

"Relax, this thing is way stronger than to be penetrated by gunfire!"

Suddenly a heat seeking missile was launched from one of the jets

"But...that can."

"What is it Batman?"

"Heat seeking missile, coming in hot!"

"Right in the middle of the city?" Catwoman asked

"Yeah, these guys are definitely not under their own control, alright, I'm going evasive!" Batman shot up forward. The missile followed.

"Uh, now what boss?" Nightwing asked

"Shooting flares!"

Flares shot out from the tail of the Bat-Wing, which confused the missile causing it to explode.

"Well that worked."

"Yeah, but they're still on our tail!"

"Not for long!" Batman got alongside one. The two climbed up vertically.

"Uh, your plan is?" Catwoman asked

"I'll keep flying vertically til he stalls."

"What? Batman, this ain't World War II, that thing can hit the atmosphere and keep flying."

"So can this."

"I don't know." Nightwing just sat in his chair.

"Hold on kids!"

The two jets continued to fly.

"Your mine Cat!" the pilot yelled over radio-you know what, you know by now it's a radio.

"Gasp." Catwoman cringed

"No shes not."

"Were not gonna make it!"

"Yes we are!"

"No were not!"

"Yes we are!"

"No. Were. Not."

"Yes. We. Are." the two continued to argue.

"NO. WERE. NOT!"

Suddenly the F-16's engine stalled. It slowly turned, and gravity did the rest.

"CURSE YOU ISAAC NEWTON!"

"Yes we are..." the other two looked in aw, as the Bat-Wing went horizontal. "They won't find us now, and that F-16 will take over 1,000 feet to regain it's flight, we'll be long gone. And now, we can decide our next move."

Back at the Bat-Cave, Batman sat the Bat-Computer trying to figure out why these kids have the beef with Catwoman.

"Oh by the way, you can have your stupid game back." Catwoman said handing it to Geoff.

"Thank you."

"What's the game?" Batman asked not looking up from his work.

"Cat Chasers! It's totally cool Trent, check it!" Geoff popped it into the Xbox 360 connected to the Computer. Suck that schlong PS3.

"What's the point of this?"

"It's like Grand Theft Auto, except everyone's common goal is to catch this cat-like thief."

"Like me." Catwoman paused

"Yeah."

"Geoff who makes this game?" Batman asked

"Infinityward and Electronic Arts."

"Hmm, Infinityward moved their main office here last year...it seems Hatter has his hand in this, but why does he have it out for Gwen?" he asked turning towards the two.

"Maybe he's just part of the plan."

"Hmm-the mind control." Batman quickly took the game out,

"What are you doing?" Catwoman asked

"Trying to see how he's controlling everyone." Batman scratched and rubbed along the shiny side of the game.

"Hey, watch it Trent, that's my game dude!"

"Technically you haven't paid for it yet, Gwen just stole it." he glared

"Oopsy."

"Yeah." Batman continued to scratch away. "Aha. See." he shoed them several shiny chips inside the lining of the disc. "Once you play the game, it controls you."

"Okay, well unless it involves Alice in Wonderland, Hatter has the creative genius of a pile of crap."

"Exactly...Nygma's gotta be the brains behind this, he was bailed out by a Wesley Aschenbach months ago, as far as I know since then Gotham has seen a decrease in Riddle crimes ever since."

"Aschenbach-of course! He owns Infinityward!" Nightwing shouted

"He probably has no idea of Riddler's true intentions anyhow."

"Yet still, Riddler doesn't hate me, not at all."

"I gotta say, there aren't a lot of people who hate Catwoman THAT much." Geoff added

"Hmm...but I know one man that does."

"Who?" the two asked

"An old friend of ours...Mr. Ferris Boyle."

Meanwhile at Infinityward, Ferris, Hatter, and Riddler counted the days loot.

"Ahhhhhhhhh! Money, have you ever stared me wrong?" Gray asked

"Ferris, I owe ya one, this was such a great idea! There is no way this can possibly go wrong!"Oh I'll be the judge of that. Suddenly. . . . .Mr. Aschenbach entered the room.

"Fellas I got a surprise for you."

"GASP! Is it more money?"

"No, it's slab of mutton."

"I'll take the mutton-"

"Shut-it Jervis!"

"Ah just kidding! Of course it's more money! This game is a massive hit! It Is certainly game of the year! We are back on top!" He then left.

"Ahhhhh...oh my babies! Oh how I've missed you so." Gray started to swim in the giant pile of cash they were dividing amongst themselves.

"Uh...you okay Ferris?" Riddler asked

"Oh sure-sure, just having a cashgasm." While walking back to his office, Aschenbach was pulled into a nearby supply closet.

"What in the-"

"Shh."

"Batman?"

"Where's Nygma?" Christian Bale much...WHERE'S HARVEY!

"In his office, down the hall, door has a lot of question marks on it."

"Good. Stay put." he ordered the executive

"Wait...why?"

"Him, Harold Tetch and Ferris Boyle created a game that controls the minds of the players to eliminate Gwen Kyle."

"Hmm, I knew something was a tad suspicious."

Batman and his two walked casually down the hall, they found Nygma's office, where Gray's laughter could be heard.

"Oh, how I just adore money!"

"They're in here." he whispered.

They opened the door to stand there in aw. The office was completely empty, in there was just a bomb, with a timer delay at 7 seconds and a voicebox, with Gray's voice.

"Oh how we should have figured you'd pay us a visit, oh well; Demise is still demise no matter who plays the game Batman-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

"DUCK!"

[Booooooooooooooooom] they ducked out of the way just in time as the office exploded. Suddenly the office floor was surrounded by children, Gray appeared on his wing, and Riddler and Hatter stood off in the distance.

"Lemme guess, testers?" Batman asked

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh of course! It'd be far too easy just with that one bomb!"

"Why are you doing this Boyle?" Catwoman asked

"Simple! You and Fries ruined my life! And seeing as how he's not here, this was an easy alternative. Oh kiddies, make our old friends feel unwelcome-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

"It's too bad Batman, if you had this special remote that is, which controls all the microchips, you might actually win!" Hatter announced...dumbass

"You idiot! He didn't need to know that!" Riddler shouted

"Oops."

"Ah! Batman HELP!" Catwoman cried in pain as all the tester jumped on her, prepared to tear her limb from limb. While Nightwing through the kids off of her Batman readied a Batarang.

"He's not going to stop us No-'

"Well he never would if you didn't show the freakin'-[zip]-remote." the batarang knocked the reomte from his hands, breaking it. Making all the kids return to normal.

"Huh?"

"Where am I?"

"I feel like I need a shower."

"Oh boy...Grrr! Hatter! That's the last time I work with you!" Gray went to fly away, but a batarang hitting his engine stalled the wing. "Oh no-AHHHHHH-[CRASH]" he landed in a pile of cubicles.

"We should run!"

"No kidding!" the other two villains ran, only to be tied up by Nightwing's bat hook/rope, and Catwoman's whip.

"Leaving so soon boys?" Just as Chef and his crew entered the office floor.

"Oh well, at least I won't have to make anymore games." Riddler smirked.

"Ugh, my head." Gray then noticed he was surrounded "Is there a problem officer?"

"Well-well-well, should of figured it was you two behind this." Chef said to Hatter and Riddler.

"Eh, can't blame us for trying."

"Oh believe me freakshows, I'll find a way."

"Not so fast Detective Bullock!" Aschenbach appeared

"Problem Mr. Aschenbach?" Batman asked

"You bet there is. Nygma is under contract, and I can guarantee you he was suede by Tetch and Boyle to create this insidious game to rid the world of Catwoman, he did not act on his own accord, and therefore should not have to be charged."

"Oh no." Riddler cringed

"I believe that. Was Hatter's crap that did this anyhow." he took off the cuffs "But keep watch on him." Chef ordered

"I will."

"Let's go you two."

"Well Bats I gotta say, 2 for 3 ain't too bad."

"Not so fast Nightwing...you mean 3 for 4." he cuffed Catwoman

"Huh? Why, I helped you!"

"You're still an escapee Gwen, I can't tolerate that."

"Grr...Eh, whatever, it's getting too tiresome." they were led away

"Alright move it."

"Now Batman, will there be anymore problems?" Aschenbach asked

"None at all...I can't wait to play Noah's...latest game." the duo walked away.

"Alright Nygma...since this has to be recalled, I need another miracle." he plopped him inside his office. "Get to work!" he walked away. Riddler slammed his head on the table

"Ugh, I'd rather be in Arkham!"

**THE END!**

**Alright all you cool cats! Ha-ha, lover's quarrel is up next. And I think it's time Cody got some-YEAH BUDDY! So, PLEASE REVIEW! And get ready for more fun, coming up next. Stay Tuned!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Nightwing

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Gwen Kyle/Catwoman

**Carter Hayden: **Noah Nygma/Riddler

**Mark Hamill: **Ferris Boyle/The Gray Goblin

**Brian Froud: **Harold Tetch/The Mad Hatter

**Jim Meskimen: **Wesley Aschenbach, police

**Tom Kenny: **Various children

**Jason Marsden: commercial** announcer, various

**James Arnold Taylor: **Clerk, various

**Billy West: **Police, children, additional voices


	126. Lover's Quarrel, Part I

**Villains: Every female villain Featuring: Joker, Two-Face, Penguin**

**Episode Archive: Zilch!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Alan Burnett&Dan Riba**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 61: Lover's Quarrel**

I know we've already passed Earth Day and now were going back to valentine's day, but; it's my story so suck it. I keed.

So twas Valentine's day in the Bat-Cave. Alfred was busy doing shtuff on the Bat-Computer. Now you know I meant to say shtuff.

"Whatcha doing Alfred?" Cody asked

"Master Trent was very insistent that I get back in the dating game to get some spark back in my life. Considering I seem to be entertaining myself with schtick and satire."

"And internet dating was your best idea?" Cody asked

"Well why not? It's the 21st Century Master Cody. It's high time I got into it."

"Uh...Alfred you are aware people totally lie about themselves on these kinds of things right?"

"Why what on earth do you mean?"

"Well check out this girl your looking at." Cody pointed to her profile.

"What? You mean Robo_cutieXD56? Why she sounds like such a sweetheart according to her profile. In fact, we've made a date tonight at 12th Floor. Besides, shes quite the looker." Alfred smirked pointing to her profile picture.

"What...Alfred, that's a picture of Jennifer Aniston in a bikini."

"Jennifer who?"

"Shes an A-list actress who lives on the other side of the country. There is no way-NO WAY this is legit."

"Oh hush Master Cody, shes probably shy to show her own pictures." Alfred insisted turning back to his profile.

"Alright Alfred, I just don't want you to be going there to find some dude in-What the? Alfred, is that your profile picture?" Cody asked in disgust

"Yes, what's wrong with it?" The Butler asked

"Dude, it's a picture of Taylor Lautner with his shirt off." That second part shouldn't surprise any Twilight fans...gross.

"Taylor who-now?"

"Ugh...He's the warewulf guy from the Twilight Saga. Unfortunately Sara's really into it so I seem to be watching the movies...A LOT! I feel your pain buddy.

"Oh yes, what will you two be doing on your first valentine's day as a couple?" Alfred asked

"I dunno, she said she had something special planned for me."

"Hmm, let's hope it's not a slug between the eyes." Alfred warned

"Believe me Alfred, shes crazy for me."

"Crazy yes...though for you I'm not quite sure."

"Ha-ha, go on your inter-date!"

"I shall."

While Alfred was about to turn off the computer, he saw on the monitor that someone was at the door, and this wasn't just any someone.

"Oh Beloved!"

"Oh brother." Alfred sighed.

He was already for his date. So he decided he would just go. And what a way to go by letting that into the house.

"Alfred! Is he here? Is he home?" Heather asked holding a big bouquet of roses.

"If I were you I'd run." the butler said making an approach to his Aston Martin.

"What? Why? Come on, even a broody miserable guy like Trent knows love on Valentine's day."

"Unfortunately, no he doesn't, at least not tonight, and if you were smart you'll leave at once before he sends your severed head in a manilla envelope back to your father." Alfred insisted. He drove away, towards the city. Undeterred, Heather shrugged and entered the manor.

"Now Alfred's just got his Butler panties in a knot. Who could possibly be miserable on this-the loveliest of all days. Even Batman."

Speaking of his Broody-Batliness, he sat on the bed in his room, his Batman outfit completely on other than his cowl. He sat there starring at two fresh roses in a box.

"Knock-knock." she said sweetly coming in anyway. Trent only slightly looked her way and frowned. "Go away Heather."

"Well, happy Valentine's Day to you too Mr. Grouchy."

"What part of go away wasn't clear?"

"Rawr. Someone's an ornery little Bat-Boy today."

"Ugh, what do you want, I'm very busy this evening-"

"No your not!" She grabbed him from leaving. "The night will be safe if you lay one night off! You and I are going out on a romantic date tonight, and you sir are going to like it!"

"No, were not! I'm sorry Heather tonight's a very important night for me..you wouldn't understand."

"Oh come ooooooon, you're just using that as an excuse!"

"Believe me I'm not!" That's when Heather noticed the Roses.

"Gaaasp! You do care!"

"Not in the slightest...not tonight."

"Of course you do silly, why else would you get me these two roses!" she grabbed the box

"NOOO!" Trent quickly grabbed it back "They're not for you!"

"Gosh! You're like the Grinch who stole Valentine's Day!"

"Erg! That's it!" Trent grabbed a pair of Bat-Cuffs and Handcuffed Heather to his bolted nightstand

"HEY!"

"I'll be back to take you to Arkham when I return, try not to ruin anything else while I'm gone please!"

Trent cowled up, and left his bedroom.

"Can you at least leave the light-[click]-on."

Batman muttered all the way down to the garage in the Bat-cave, he entered the Batmobile, and started it up. He drove out of the secret tunnel, and onto the main road.

"Mess up my evening will she? Ha, not while I'm around, no sir-"

"Yaaawn, no sir what?"

"Huh?" there right next to him sat Heather, holding the cuffs.

"So, where are we going?"

"But, how did-?" Batman asked confused

"A little trick I learned from Mr. Harry Houdini. These belong to you." she said smugly.

"Hmm...Alright Heather, you've earned a trip with me."

"Yesssss!"

"But get one thing clear-it's not a date-the second I'm done, you go right back to Arkham, GOT IT?"

"...Yes sir." she said faintly

"Good."

"So, where are we going, can you answer me that?"

"Crime Ally."

Cody on the other hand would be getting very lucky-very quickly. He walked into his room to see his beautiful concubine Sara, seductively placed on his bed...wearing very few clothes.

"What the?"

"Happy Valentine's Day Codykins."

"S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-Sara?" No dummy it's Sierra!

"Yup. I decided I'd break out and give you your valentine's present early." she stood up and approached the Boy Wonder. Speaking of which she gave him his Robin costume. "How's about you put that on and uh..arrest me...feeling lucky my Robin?"

"Yes." he looked up "THANK YOU!"

And over to Arkham Asylum, all the girls sat in the rec room, bored out of their damn minds, they were joined by Duncan, Alejandro, and Owen. All playing cards.

"Harl, what are you doing?" Izzy asked looking at Lindsey working on a little arts and craft's project

"I'm making Mistah J a Valentine's card! See!" she showed the plant girl her 3rd-grade-equivelent-work.

"Ugh, I should have guessed."

"I wanna show it to Harleen. Harl-Harl! Look what I made!"

"Gasp! Linds it's beautiful. I'm sure Mistah J will love it! He loves everything you do!"

"Ha! Your losing it Harl! That creep loves no one except himself!" Katie groused

"And how!" Gwen added

"Ah, go suck one!" Duncan spat looking up from his card game with the fellas.

"You first you lousy sad excuse for a clown!" See what I'm doing here...I've made Gwen and Duncan absolutely hate each other...isn't creativity great?

"Hey can you two morons keep it down, I'm trying to be cold and miserable over here!" Dora shouted

"You know what I just realized?" Eva suggested

"WHAT?"

"We all hate her."

"Yeah."

"Kinda."

"Agreed."

"YOU SUCK SMITHY!"

"Go to hell." she said cold as ice.

"Hey Mistah J-"

"WHAT! Can't you see I'm busy!"

"But uh...I uh, made you this, happy Valentine's Day Puddin'"

"Oh goody...I needed a napkin to wipe up all this coffee Owen spilled, thanks Harley."

"I knew he'd love it."

"See told you." Harleen agreed.

"They're both idiots." Katie sighed

"I agree. Say, where's Sadieface?" Gwen asked

"She was being very sassy to Dr. Bartholomew today so I put her in timeout."

"But Katie shes...never mind."

"That's it! I've had it! Girls why should we stand around here! There's mayhem to be done! Especially on Valentine's Day!" Izzy yelped

"Yeah, you should all do something...perhaps jump in the nearest Shark infested Ocean." Alejandro added

"Dontcha know when you're being ignored."

"You're the only one talking."

"Plant girl's right! We shouldn't be standing round fighting when we could be getting back at Batman!"

"Or getting lucky!" Gwen suggested

"Oh please Cat, everyone knows I'm Batman's true love interest." Izzy insisted

"Ha! No, way Red, you saw B-man make with the smooches on me!" Lindsey shouted "Uh...b-b-b-b-ut i-i-i-it was a momentary lapse of poor judgment Puddin." she begged

"Don't care."

"If anything Batman loves me the best. We share a certain fighter's bond." Eva insisted

"Ha! I have a better chance than all of you, and he can't stand my guts!" Dora snapped

"Girls come on! You know Batman hates all of you-hell the people who have a fighting chance are Heather and I, and shes off doing God knows what right now!" Gwen added

"Oh really?" Harleen got up in her face

"Really."

"Hey, here's an idea. Why don't you all just try and fight over Batman, first to kiss him wins." Owen suggested

"Not a bad idea Big-O." Izzy nodded

"There's just one problem." Katie began "Were stuck."

"Leave that to me." Dora approached the bared windows and froze them til they cracked apart

"Okay you could have done that the whole time?" Izzy asked

"S-Shut-up!"

One by one the girls escaped.

"Oh, glad that's over."

"Nice work Owen."

"Thank you."

"Alright, hits to you buddy." Alejandro said "You in?"

"Hit me...hit me...hit...me..."

"21!"

"Not bad at all pengers."

"...hit me..."

"That's 30."

"...Hit me...-[SMACK]"

And now to the 12th Floor. Alfred happily walked to the Matre De.

"Good evening Garcon, I am here to meet a dashing young woman this evening, the names Pennyworth..Alfred Pennyworth." And my namesh Bond...Jamesh Bond...

"Yes of course Mr. Pennyworth, right this way please." Alfred was walked to the table where his date. She held up the menu to her face to obscure her view. "Ms. Hollander, may present to you your date, Mr. Alfred Pennyworth." he walked away.

"Well Robo_CutieXD56, it's a pleasure to finally meet you."

"The pleasure's all mine ThE-_-bUtLeRmAn." she took the menu from her face "I'm glad we can finally-AH!"

"Egad! Bionica! You-you're-y-y-y-you're a robot!"

"And you're old!"

**Ah, what a great place for a cliffhanger, PLEASE REVIEW!**


	127. Lover's Quarrel, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Being the good guy that he is, Batman stopped at a Red light, not too terribly far from his destination.

"So, why are you especially miserable on this particular night?" Heather asked

"You'll see." Batman said completely monotone NOT even looking at her.

"You'll see? You'll See? YOU'LL SEE? That's no way to treat the woman you're going to marry someday beloved." Batman turned his head slightly to her direction and glared "Uh-heh-heh, I mean, you'll see is just fine with me, are the words I meant to say."

"Good."

"...I would assume it has something to do with the roses?" Heather asked

"Good work...Detective."

"Was that supposed to be some crazy metaphor or something?"

"You'll find out on the information/bloopers page at the end of the series."

"End of the s-what's that supposed to me-[crash-screeeeee]"

"What in the hell?" Heather asked

Batman looked up to see Poison Ivy standing on his hood.

"Hello there B-Man."

"Ivy." Batman groaned. He stepped on it, making the plant girl fall off.

"Whoa-whoaaaaaaaa!"

"I so don't have time for this!" He sped up.

Heather looked out of the rear view mirror. Two motorcycles wee pursuing them. While above, Nurse Pain and Harley flew on Gray Goblin's Wing. The Ventriloquist and Red Claw rode the cycles.

"Uh, something tells me were going to be delayed beloved."

"Erg! I so don;t have time for this! Hang on Heather...and pray."

"Okay."

Batman did some crazy-ass driving around the city while being chased by the decently looking women. Eventually The Ventriloquist and Red Claw and Red Claw got on either side.

"Don't let em in!" Heather demanded

"No kidding."

And now for some comedic bullsh*t back at the restaurant. Alfred and Bionica were silently starring off into space...ugh, you can almost feel the awkward.

"So...you're a...neuro-technician?"

"Was...Now I'm kind of a criminal." She sighed

"Ah, I know what that's like." No you don't dumbass!

"You do?"

"Eh...no."

"Oh...so...you're a butler?"

"Not just any butler, Trent Wayne's butler."

"Oh...I hear he's rich."

"Yes, Master Trent runs around with a very high class crowd."

. . .

[SCREEEEEEE]

"I can't shake em!"

"You have to try beloved!"

"Can't you see Heather I am trying!"

"Well try harder!"

"Heather, it's hard to concentrate with you yelling at me!"

"Well it's hard to have a safe drive with you constantly avoiding crazy women!"

"You do realize you're just as crazy as they are, right?"

"...I plead the fifth amendment." she said crossing her arms.

. . .

"So, I can't imagine being a butler is a very fun line of work." Bionica said

"Oh believe me, it's much more fun then one would imagine."

"If you say so." their waiter walked towards their table.

"Excuse me there lovebirds but might I interest you in a bottle of our finest Chardonnay?" he asked

"Well that sounds heavenly." Alfred insisted. He gave them a chilled bottle and poured two glasses.

"I will be back to take your orders in a few minutes." he walked away

"Alfred can you afford this? Chardonnay is like...almost 100$ a bottle." Bionica whispered

"Ha, chump change my dear." Alfred opened his filled wallet.

"Whoa..."

"Master Trent pays quite well."

"I can see that."

"Oh you know I just realized, they never lit our centerpiece candle."

"It's okay Alfred, I got it." she used her attached lighter on her hand to light the candle. "There."

"Sigh...where is that waiter?"

Back on the streets, The Ventriloquist and Red Claw were still neck and neck on the Batmobile. The two managed to break through the windows.

[crack]

"Ah!" Heather jumped

"Pucker up Bats!"

"It's time for you to choose...whose your favorite femme fatal."

"What!" Heather jumped

"That's what this is about, some lame valentines day charade?" the dark knight asked very annoyed.

"And besides! Everyone knows Cat and I are the only ones with a chance anyway, and that's not even a good one!" Heather insisted.

"Well I'm about to change that." Red Claw puckered up.

"Fine Eva, I'll give you one kiss."

"Really, you will?"

"Nope-[whack]" he punched her right off the motorcycle, right by a police car.

"Well, you got lucky Batman! But you'll see some enough that-[thwack]" Heather did the same to the Ventriloquist.

"She really is a lost cause without the puppet."

"That she is."

"Gasp! Beloved look out!"

"Huh-whoa-[screeeeeeee-crash]" Right into a pile of vines blocking the way. "Grrrrrrr! Come on Heather, were on foot from here, were just a block or two away!" the two exited the Batmobile. And who should standing there, but Poison Ivy.

"Lucky I got a headstart, huh Batman?" suddenly Harley and Pain landed by her

"Nice thinking Red!" Harley shouted

"I have my moments...as do you hotstuff."

"Thanks." Harley blushed

"But I'm afraid the time has come for us to get that kiss from our favorite Bat!" Ivy smirked

Back at the restaurant, the $100 bottle of Chardonnay found itself in the gullets of the oddest couple known to man, woman, child...or robot

"Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait...wait-ha-ha-ha-ha." she chuckled

"I-I-I-I I am w-w-waiting-ha-ha-ha, what is it?"

"So you...Red Claw kid-napped yy-y-you, to blow up London?"

"Yeah she totally did!"

"No she didn't?"

"She did, I swear on my mother's grave!"

"Wow-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! That's so like her!"

"I know isn't it weird! I think it's weird."

"You know Alfred...i-it might be the wine...but I am having a fantastic time tonight!"

"Really? W-w-w-what a co-co-co...yeah, me too."

"You know what we should do...we should get a hotel room!"

"I love it! WAITER! Check please!"

And back in Park Row.

"Wait a second...Harl...are you and Ivy...you know?" Pain crossed her fingers.

"Of course Harleeeeeeeen! Red's like my best friend! We do everything together!"

"Yeah but...are you both...you know-two peas in a pod."

"Yes! She didn't tell you? Your sister is like, my Butt-Buddy! BUT, we can discuss that and your scorn later cause we got a Batman to smooch! Just as soon as I subdue H-huh?" Ivy looked around to see no sign of the two.

When suddenly, a bat hook dropped from above, and tied Harley and Ivy together...lifting them off the ground.

"Hey!"

"Hey? Hey Lindsey is what mom's gonna say when she founds out you had "relations" with another woman!" Pain fumed

"Quick, while shes arguing incoherently!" Batman whispered to Heather.

"No kidding."

A police car arrived on the scene.

"Besides, I thought you had your love set to Mistah J!"

"I do sis, but...Red's always there, and...shes always nice-and-"

"Ahem, excuse me ladies, but could we resume this little conversation back at the asylum?" the officer asked

"DAMMIT!" the girls yelled

The duo darted through an ally way.

"Were nearly there Heather, just one more block."

"Except! One of you is not going to make it." Mrs. Freeze appeared from the darkness holding her freeze gun.

"...Dora."

"Well-well-well, looks like I'm going to win after all."

"No your not."

"Yes I am, and once I freeze Ghul here to death, there will be no one left to stop me Batman! From getting the kiss! That I so rightfully deser-[smack]-unh." Catwoman landed on top of her, knocking her out.

"Gwen!" Heather said releaved

"I thought we were missing one more."

"Thought I'd drop in." she took the cuffs from Batman and cuffed her. "By the way, what are you two doing here anyhow?" she asked

"Care to join us?" Batman asked

"What? Why does she get to-"

"Because, I love you both...you guys...just both have issues okay? And if you are joining me, be respectful...or else."

They walked across the street, below a suspended subway car, Dr. Tomkins was already waiting.

"You're nearly late."

"Relax Leslie, I wouldn't miss this for anything. Girls, stand back please."

At a certain spot, Batman knelt down, he opened the box of roses, and placed them in the middle of the walk.

"And so...I hope God shines down on yet another Valentines Day." Leslie said in prayer

"So do I." Batman said near to tears, the girls shrugged. The Dark Knight turned to them. "...23 years ago on this very night, was the night my parents were murdered...this spot...this...gruesome-gruesome spot...was where it all went down." The girls briefly put aside their differences and started to sob.

"Oh."

"Trent that's so...so..." they gave him a hug. Awwwwwwwwww.

"And since that's done." CLICK

"Huh?" the two rogues found themselves handcuffed together.

"You're not getting off that easy."

"Come on Trent. It's getting late, you should be getting off to home now."

"I know-I know." a passing squad car approached. "But I do owe them this." he gave them each a quick kiss. "Happy Valentines Day girls." then he vanished. They blushed. Leslie smiled and shook her head

"Same old Trent...hasn't changed a bit."

Back at home Cody and Sara were enjoying some ice cream in the kitchen...with no clothes on...eh, it's a teenage show anyhow.

"You sire deserve a gold star."

"I try...I think I did good for my firs time."

"I agree, and I think Miss June, Miss January, and Miss March would agree with me as well."

"Oh ha-ha Sara." Geoff and Bridgette entered, after their date.

"...Hey." Cody said sheepishly

"Oh God, I'm going to get nightmares!" she hid her head in Geoff's shoulder.

"Aw jeez keep it in the bedroom you too!" Geoff closed his eyes.

"Oh believe me...we did."

"Well, Congrats Cody."

"Yeah good job, you know if you don't mind sloppy seconds."

"Geoff, don't start!" Sara fumed

"Wasn't planning on it...if you'll excuse us-"

"We have to flush out our eye sockets!"

"Figures." Cody sighed. He saw Sara lean in, and the two...started to...DO IIIIIIIIT!

Geoff on the other hand picked up the phone as it rang.

"I got it...Hello?"

"_Master Geoffrey?"_

"Alfred, hey, how was your date?"

"_Magical...and unfinished, so I might be a little late getting in tomorrow."_

"Ha-ha, nice; do what you gotta do old man, peace."

"_Thank you Master Geoffrey..." _"Now Rachel, where were we?"

**The End...**

**I'm certain nightmares will spawn from that. If I'm correct, we got more Catwoman up next, so get ready fo' some of that! PLEASE REVIEW! and all that such!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Rachel Wilson: **Heather Al Ghul

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Gwen Kyle/Catwoman

**Katie Crown: **Izzy Isley/Poison Ivy

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Lindsey Quinzel/Harley Quinn, Katie Wesker/The Ventriloquist

**Arleen Sorkin: **Harleen Quinzel/Nurse Pain

**Julia Chantrey: **Eva Evanovich/Red Claw

**Jennifer Hale: **Dora Smithy/Mrs. Freeze

**Kath Soucie: **Dr. Leslie Tomkins

**Tara Strong: **Rachel Hollander/Bionica

**Drew Nelson: **Duncan Napier

**Marco Grazzini: **Alejandro Dent

**Scott McCord: **Owen Cobblepot

**Jess Harnell: **Drunk Alfred, police officer

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Rhinehart

**Mark Hamill: **Waiter


	128. Gwen's Vendetta, Part I

**Villain(s): The Ventriloquist&Sadieface, Catwoman**

**Episode Counterpart: Catwalk (1994)**

**Written By: Paul Dini**

**Directed By: Boyd Kirkland**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 63: Gwen's Vendetta  
**

Gwen Kyle stood on the outside of a glass exhibit of a stuffed black leopard. She sighed. Then started to talk to herself.

"Poor baby. I used to be just like you. A child of the night, wild and free. I was the cat who walked by herself. And the city was my hunting ground. I prowled through the streets each evening, going where I liked. And taking whatever I wanted...Until I met...him. I gave him my best fight, but in the end...kitty got her claws clipped. Had to promise I'd be a good little pet and walk on a leash...even if it killed me."

Gwen angrily ran her real claws against the glass. She walked around more of the exhibits at the Gotham Museum of Natural History. Twas a big charity gala that evening for the recently opened Stanford Vreeland exhibits. Anyone who thought they were anyone was there. Commissioner Gordon, Detective's Montoya and Bullock, Mayor Hill, and of course, Trent. He noticed Gwen walk right passed Veronica Vreeland, his friend and ancestor of Stanford.

"Oh I bet you just say that to all the pretty girls." she laughed to two guys talking to her. Trent was feeling sorry for his pet, and felt he had to talk to her.

"Gwen...excuse me." he walked her way, she was looking at an extincted animal exhibit. She ran her fingers over the sign

"Extinction is forever...ain't that the truth."

"You're in a cheery mood." Trent said handing her a drink

"Giving up Catwoman wasn't easy Trent. Telling me not to steal is like-like-well hell telling you to stop fighting crime." they walked over to a jewels exhibit. "I miss the excitement the danger...oh, sometimes I just feel so damn tempted." she grit her teeth.

"Even though you'd be risking prison...cause let's face it, it'll be me sending you there anyhow."

"I know...but, tell me I'm not in a cage already?" suddenly who should show up but Veronica.

"Trent Wayne, I wondered where you would be hiding yourself."

"And who may I ask is your attractive date?"

"Veronica Vreeland, meet Gwen Kyle."

"We've met, at the wildlife fundraiser last year?" Gwen tried to make the ditz remember.

"Oh of course. Love what you've done with your hair. Anyway, being a wildlife conversationalist Gwen, I think you'll enjoy this new exhibit in honor of my great grandfather Stanford Vreeland. He was also very wildlife friendly." she pointed to the giant statue of Vreeland. "He was very dedicated to conserving the many animals of the world."

"Not surprising, considering he obliterated most of them."

"Excuse me?"

"Stanford Vreeland was a playboy sportsman who would shoot anything that got within his crosshairs." Gwen explained "He'd have to preserve animals or else he would have nothing left to shoot."

"Is that right?"

"Uh-huh, in fact, most of these animals are gone thanks to trigger happy jerks like him."

"Gwen."

"But Trent, she only asked me what I thought of the exhibit, and this is what I think."

"I think you've said enough." Veronica sneered.

"Yes, perhaps I have." Gwen left their company

"Hmm, just once I'd like to throw a part without some freak-show showing up!"

"Uh, excuse me Veronica." Trent followed Gwen. Who put on her coat "Well, that was pretty rude."

"Just the cat in me, I guess. Look Trent, it was sweet of you to invite me but, I just don't fit in here...I don't fit in anywhere. I'll see ya around." she gave him a quick kiss "Batman." she whispered, then left.

"Taxi!" she called. A limousine jumped out in front of the approaching taxi, and a rather large man, jumped out from shotgun, and grabbed Gwen.

"You ride, Ms. Kyle." he threw her in.

"Hey-wha?" the limo darted away "Lemme out ya big ape!"

"Whoa...you were right Bestie, she is a live one." a sassy figure said in the dark limo

"In a few seconds, that's more then what I can say about you!"

"Hey, come on toots, were all friends here. Katie, don't leave our guest in the dark."

"Yes Sadieface." the lights turned on, and there sat the Ventriloquist&Sadieface.

"Katie, Sadie...you've gotta be kidding-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Gwen burst out laughing.

"What's so funny, my fly ain't open is it?"

"No ma'am."

"So what's the gag?" Sadie asked

"Ha-ha-ha-oh come on, you know-what's the gag?" Gwen said making an accent

"Hey! I don't wanna hear that talk missy, this is Sadieface you're dealing with, and I don't stand for any disrespect."

"I would do as he says Gwen. Sadieface can be very persuasive-"

"Shes right Gwenny. Besides, that's no way to talk to the girl that has the...business proposition for you."

"Well, looks like I don't have much of a choice but to listen."

"That's the spirit." Sadieface began. "My fellas saw you having a spat in the museum with Ms. Ronnie V. they also saw you licking your whiskers at Ronnie's pretty sparklers."

"You're boring me log."

"So, how would you like to get your hands on those jewels, and get some revenge? All you gotta do is sneak in, let me and my boys in to do some looting, and take the rest for yourself. Easy simple."

"Pass...Kitty's been staying home at night, it's not fun but it beats the pound if you know what I mean."

"Now that's a darn shame, now I thought you wanna get back at the Vreelands, not just for you of course, but for all those poor little stuffed critters that had no chance."

"Oh barf." Gwen shook her head.

"It's a 50/50 cut, you in or what?"

"Hmm...50/50 eh?"

Taking the bait, Gwen went back to her apartment, and prepared to enter the museum as Catwoman. She suited up. Her cat Isis, rubbed up against her master's leg.

"You know something Isis...extinction is for wimps"

Catwoman swung her way across the city, until she made it to the roof of the museum, but from the beginning, something already seemed amiss. She noticed the lock to the skylight had been cut.

"Hmm...odd." she pondered. But shrugging it off as an coincidence, she jumped right into the jewels exhibit.

"Ah, so many beautiful-huh?" she noticed so many exhibit's have been already smashed into and looted. "What in the hell-"

"Returning to the scene of the crime, Gwenny?" the lights turned on, and Catwoman found herself surrounded by a platoon of S.W.A.T. Infantryman, and a smirking Detective Courtney Montoya.

"Montoya? What is all this?"

"A sting...we got a tip that we got less than an hour ago of you stealing jewels from the museum, boy if you could only see the smile on my face when we just saw you on the roof. We knew you couldn't resist taking everything."

That's when it hit Catwoman...she was set up to take the fall.

"That little fat wooden bastard." she muttered

"There's no escape Kyle! I had a hunch you couldn't be paroled for long, and this proves it. You're going back to Arkham for a very long-long time." she took out a pair of handcuffs. "Why don't you make this easy on yourself."

Catwoman knew she would be running out of options fast. With quick thinking she took out a smoke pellet.

"You know Detective...there is a reason you haven't been promoted...cause let's face it that is what you're after."

"Oh really, and what's that? Mind you I've thought of everything!"

"No...you really-HAVEN'T!" [koosh]

"Cough-cough-cough-cough-smoke-cough!" the officers and Courtney choked. When it cleared, Catwoman had vanished.

"What the-grrr!" Courtney pressed a button on a remote which instantly sealed the building. "We'll see how she likes being hunted! Secure the building, no one is gonna get in or out! Especially out! GET. ME. GWEN. KYLE!"

"Yes sir!" the officers dispersed throughout the building.

"Chris, it's Montoya! Gwen's loose in the building, but I've sealed it up, shes trapped."

Out in an unsuspicious plain white van, outfitted with cool police stuff, Chris sat monitoring the situation.

"Good, keep me posted in case anything changes." the Commissioner turned to a sleeping Gil Mason next to him.

"Zzzzzzzzz."

"Gil wake up-[slap]"

"Zzzz-zaach-huh, what?"

"Look alive son, you're gonna succeed me someday, ergo you need to pay attention to this sting! And others like it, Understand?"

"Y-yeah of course Commish' But, if I may ask, why send so much manpower after Gwen Kyle?"

"Oh, believe you me Mason...it's not nearly enough. I've tried to get a hold of Batman, but I can't seem to find him."

"Alright, you're the boss, boss."

"Ha, damn right I'm the boss."

Out back, The Ventriloquist and Sadieface sneaked around to the back door in their limo.

"Hey boss, why did you trick Gwen like that?" she asked

"Easy, I don't like her, shes too sassy, plus; since we already have a taste of the jewels from the exhibit, I say we loot it some more, while the flatfoots are busy chasing Kyle, where she will clearly get blamed. So come on, Mugsy, Rhino; wheels up!"

"Yes boss."

Gwen managed o take refuge in the curator's room, to catch her breath.

"Pant-pant-pant-gonna-g-gonna-pant-pant-kill-pant-pant-that-pant-pant-puppet!" she grit her teeth.

"You know revenge isn't the answer Gwen." out of the darkness, appeared Batman.

"Oh great, just what I need. Look Trent will it put your mind at ease if I told you I was set up?"

"Oh I know you were set up...How do you think I was able to find you so easily?"

"Ah, so you do care."

"Like I've said before Gwen, more than you'll ever know. BUT-"

"Dammit, there's always a but." she complained

"I also know you agreed to join in the Ventriloquist's operation...I'm sorry Gwen, when this is over, I still have to take you back to Arkham." typical

"Fine, at least there I know I'm in a cage! But it will bring me the satisfaction to know that log and it's bitch will be there as well...and, I'd rather you bring me in than officer psycho."

"Don't worry, Courtney's not getting the satisfaction tonight."

"Good, so; what's our next move...to quote Heather: beloved?" she asked with a sarcastic smirk

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	129. Gwen's Vendetta, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"No...only Heather can call me that." Batman insisted. Only for Catwoman to ignore him, and start to rub up against him...then purr.

"Aw come on...I like it when we work together...you can make pet names for me."

"Sure, how about; Prisoner: 18572."

"Ha-ha, I'm gonna kill Joker for writing that book."

"Nope, that was all mine, now come on; we gotta get you out of here, and find the Ventriloquist."

"But how, Montoya sealed the building."

"Gwen, come on now; did you forget who you were talking to?"

"...Riiiiight." she perked up

"We'll take the vents to the roof, I have the Bat-Wing waiting."

"Sounds like a plan." the two went for the nearest ceiling vent, and crawled upwards, making their escape.

Just as Courtney opened up the door to the curator's room.

"Freeze! . . .Huh...swore I heard someone. Oh well." she closed the door, and got back to work.

Meanwhile outside here's to some delicious comedy...not sure what's delicious about-all I know is I just poured myself a heart bowl of Eggo brand, maple syrup waffle cold cereal and that puts a smile on my face =) Anyway, The Ventriloquist, Sadieface, Musgy and Rhino approached the back door to the museum.

"Alright Rhino, do your thing." Sadie ordered

"Yes boss."

"What's his thing?" The Ventriloquist asked

"Why bust down the door dummy."

"Oh...hey!"

"Alright, stand back yous guys, this is going to get very-very loud-"

"Just do it you giant Wall!" Sadie yelled

"She means that in the nicest possible way Rhino-"

"No I don't."

"Shh-yes you do." Ventriloquist insisted

"Give it a shot Rhino." Mugsy hurried him

"Right." he got a running start "Ahhhhhhhhhhh-[smash]" the door didn't budge.

"Huh, that's peculiar." Ventriloquist noticed

"I agree, usually by now Rhino has the door broken down, and has advanced 40 yards forward progress destroying everything in that direct path...but now he's laying there in pain!" Sadieface fumed

"You okay buddy?" Mugsy asked

"Ugh...Rhino broke face."

"Get up you elephant, do it again." Sadie ordered

"Ugh, yes sir...Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh-[smash]"

"Same results." Sadie said marveled. "Dammit Rhino you're gonna hit that door til you get it right!"

"Ugh...yes boss." rhino groaned. "Ahhhhhhhhh-[smash]"

"Hey-hear that?" Gil asked from inside the van.

"What?" Chris asked half asleep.

"ahhhhhhh-[smash]" the sound was lighter from their location

"There, there is was again."

"I think you're hearing things G-"

"Sh—shh-listen..."

"ahhhhh-[smash]"

"Oh yeah, I do hear that, what the hell is that?"

"Got me boss."

"Kinda...kinda sounds like..."

"ahhhhh-[smash]"

"Like-like a-like..." Chris began trying to think of something

"Like a 16-wheel semi back firing?" Gil suggested

"Or a...or a rather large and mannish woman in labor."

"Oh yeah-yeah-yeah...or a...giant dumbass trying to bust open a locked titanium door." Gil suggested. Winner! Rob Paulsen

Anyway Batman and Catwoman crawled through the vents. They came to an intersection.

"Alright Gwen, you know this museum better than anyone else, which way to the roof?" Batman suggested.

"Um...straight I t-no-no-no right-right, it's totally right."

"If you say so." Gwen led them to the right. And they came to an opening in the floor of the vents. It was a long 30 foot drop to the grate, and another 20ft drop to the museum floor below.

"Uh, great."

"Detour?" Batman suggested

"No we can scale it, no big deal."

"You sure?"

"Positive...unless the big bad Batman is really a big bad chick-eeeeeeeen!"

"GWEN!"

Catwoman fell right into the pit. She managed to to get her feet and claws on the side to create friction slowing herself to a stop. Sparks on the metal from her claws irritated the Cat.

Screeeeeeeee!

"Meooooooooooow!" she jumped.

Eventually she stopped just a foot or so above the grate, two SWAT infantryman were directly below.

"Hey, you hear that?" one said to the other.

"Hear what?"

"That noise."

"What noise?"

"That noise I just heard."

"What noise Delmonico I didn't hear sh*t!"

"Are you nuts Hull!"

Catwoman and Batman sighed of relief amongst their clamoring. Catwoman started to sweat, her grip was slipping, and a slight creaking noise was made.

Crea-crea-creak.

"There it is again!"

"What the noise?"

"Yeah!"

"Delmonico you are hearing things, give it a rest already."

"Psst. Gwen." Batman whispered

"Yeah?" she looked up

"Grab this." He gave slack to a bat hook and rope and gingerly let it fall towards Catwoman.

"Okay."

The hook got closer and closer to Catwoman...unfortunately he gave it too much slack and it hit her in the head

"Ow."

"Sorry."

Catwoman grabbed onto the hook, taking her hands out provided a huge creak, causing the the two officers to look up

"What was that?"

"Told ya."

"Aw, screw it, COME GET ME BOYS!" she crashed through the vent, and dropped down to the two officers, landing on their shoulders, then clunking their knuckleheads together.

"Dammit Gwen." Batman groaned.

Catwoman suddenly found herself surrounded by police. Courtney ran right in front of her...not smart Lieutenant.

"It's over Gwen, just come easy." the Cat glared at the slightly worried Detective.

Undaunted, Catwoman grabbed Montoya in a hostile position and put one of her sharp claws to her neck "HEY!"

"Don't move Kyle!"

"No, you don't move flatfoot! One wrong move, and it's curtains for Lieutenant Detective Montoya."

"...That's not what you intended to say, was it?" Courtney asked

"Shut-up."

Back outside, Gil and Chris were still trying to figure out what in the hell was making that noise.

"What the hell is making that noise?" Chris asked

"I dunno...sounds close though."

"That's it, c'mon Gil, were checking this out."

They exited the van, only to discover the noise was in fact coming from Rhino, still clunking against the door.

"[Slam]-unh...[thud]"

"Okay, this is clearly not working." Ventriloquist sighed

"I agree, take 5 Rhino while we decide what to do next." Sadiface ordered

"Hey look, stars." Rhino said nearly unconscious.

"I don't believe it, the Ventriloquist&Sadieface." Chris whispered

"Yeah what luck, right?"

"And how, come on Gil, let's go play beat cop."

"Roger."

"Nice running buddy." Mugsy commented

"Mugsy...there's...there's like 6 of you buddy...I think I'm trippin'."

"Oh you will be."

"At Stonegate Penitentiary that is. Well half of you." The Commish and Co-Commish approached, guns drawn

"You've gotta be kidding."

"Great, stopped by these two."

"We are definitely laughing stocks." Sadieface sighed

Back inside Catwoman was maneuvering Courtney through the room filled with cops.

"You won't get away with this Kyle." she whispered

"Oh but I will, and once I get to that corridor I'll head back into the vents, and make it to the roof. You'll never find me."

"Watch me." Suddenly Catwoman backed into something big...no it's not me, sadly. Catwoman turned around to see.

"Oh."

"I don't believe you! This is not like you!"

"It is for the girl wanting to escape!"

"This is too big Gwen, even for Catwoman!" Batman blared

"You'll see, I'll show that log a thing or two!"

"No need." Chris and company approached with their convicts.

"We got em, you can commendate us later." Gil said proudly.

That's when Catwoman eyeballed Sadieface. She knew she was the brains behind the operation. She knew Katie could barely control her own life. That's when she knew what she had to do.

"Grr-grr-GRRRRRRR!" she angrily tossed Courtney aside and grabbed Sadieface from The Ventriloquist's hands

"SADIE!"

"You'll never see her again! I'll make sure of it."

Catwoman was sure to grab Courtney's remote on the way out of the room, it being chased out by SWAT, Batman and everyone on her tail. Catwoman blindly darted to the roof and to the nearest ledge. She starred at the puppet as she held it over the ally below.

"Adios log." she smirked, dropping Sadieface to the cold concrete below

SMASH! And into a million pieces she went. Catwoman turned around to see an arms crossed Batman. She put out her arms.

"I'm ready. The Cat who walks by herself...is ready for her cage again."

**The End...**

**Oh...my...GOD! CUNDIFF! CUNDIFFFFFFFF! How are you going to miss a freakin' 32 yard field goal? HOW! HOWWWWWWW! Now those freakin' Patriots head to another superbowl! Why WHYYYYYYY! Okay, glad you guys enjoyed, The Terrible Trio is up next. With more Chris, more Gil, More Chef-with his two brothers, it's gonna be epic. SEE YA! **

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Detective Courtney Montoya

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Gwen Kyle/Catwoman

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Katie Wesker/The Ventriloquist

**Lauren Lipson: **Sadieface

**Rob Paulsen: **Asst. Commissioner Gil Mason, additional voices

**Jennifer Hale: **Veronica Vreeland

**Earl Boen: **Rhino

**Tom Kenny: **Mugsy, Delmonico

**Corey Burton: **Hull

LET'S GO GIANTS!


	130. Thrice The Chaos, Part I

**Villain(s): The Terrible Trio (Intro)**

**Episode Archive: Original!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Alan Burnett**

**Teleplay By: Sam Register&Butch Hartman**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 64: Thrice The Chaos**

Bridgette Gordon annoyingly crossed her arms, as she was led by her father to his office.

"So sweetie, aren't you excited for another take-your child-to-work-day?" the over enthusiastic commissioner asked

"No Dad I'm not!" she fumed

"You're not, but Bridge, you used to love take your child to work day?"

"Oh yeah Dad, I also loved Biker Mice From Mars, Barbie Dolls, Tea Party's and the color pink! But that ship has sailed too!"

"What? That seems like just yesterday. What are you now, 11, 12?"

"Uh, I'm 19 Dad."

"...Oh. Well looks I need a distraction, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Conway Twitty."

. . . . . . . .

Okay that debacle is over. Next we go to the office of Trent Wayne, where an equally annoyed Cody Drake and the man himself exited the elevator and approached the industrialist crime fighter's office.

"I don't why I have to go to your office over my all to important Spring Break?" Cody grouched

"Well you are going to be the CEO here one day, it's only fair you learn the ropes. And besides, what better way to do that then take your child to work day." Trent explained.

"Aw come on, why can't Lucius succeed you?" Cody asked

"Lucius is older than I am, odds are he'll go waaaaay before I do...though given our night life, that might be in question. Nevertheless, you have to learn how to run the family business."

"Then why isn't Geoff here?" Cody asked

"Geoff already knows what he wants to do with his life, he's a skilled mechanic and private investigator-And don't you tell me for one second that's what you want, you're doing this and that's final. Or at least until you grow older and find something else you like."

"Yes sir Daddy Warbucks Sir."

"That's my boy."

"And at least I'll be making the moneys."

"That's the spirit...but remember the company motto-"

"Yeah-yeah, let's get the day over with." the duo approached Trent's secretary Crystal

"Good morning Crystal."

"Oh Mr. Wayne, glad you're here, uh, Mayor Hill is in your office sir, he's been there for awhile, not exactly sure what he wants."

"Well thank you, I'll see to him right away."

They entered Trent's office. Mayor Hill was at his desk, he just managed to swipe the Bat-Communicator Trent mistakenly left there. Come on he is Trent.

"Mayor?"

"Ah, Trent Wayne; I hoped you'd be in today." Hill said kindly.

"Thanks, what seems to be the problem?" Trent yawned

"Long night?" Hill smirked

"Uh, you could say that, sure."

"Well anyway I would like to congratulate you on all the hard work you have done for this city. You are certainly one of the biggest renaissance men this city has ever scene...and barely even know it."

"Well gee thanks Mayor...uh, you came all the way here to tell me this?"

"Believe me, it's been a very slow day thus far. Well, I better get back to it, see ya later Trent, Cody."

"Mayor Hill."

"...Huh, I guess being mayor isn't that hard of a job." Trent pondered.

"Yeeeeeah." Cody perked up

"Not a snowballs chance in hell."

"Dammit!"

Back outside the station, Courtney Montoya was giving a piggy back ride to Carly, her youthful niece. Who could have not been more excited to go to the station for take your child to work day...she would be the only one.

"OOOOH-boy-oh boy-oh boy-oh boy-oh boy-oh-boy! I can't believe it! The real Gotham City Police Headquarters!" she yelped happily. "And my Aunt Courtney! An actual...Detective! EEEEEEE!" Simmer down, it's not a Justin Bieber Concert. "You're my favorite Aunt, Aunt Courtney, you know that right?"

"I'm also your only aunt."

"I know. But oh gosh this is gonna be so much fun! The paper work, the evidence analysis, the booking."

"The patrol." Courtney added

"Gaaaaaaaaasp! Really?"

"If you think you can handle it kiddo-"

"Oh yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes! A thousand times yeeeeeeees!"

"That's my girl."

Unbeknownst to them, in the parking lot of the facility, in a dark blue van, three suspicious sketchy characters sat in the back, preparing for their next move, their supposed leader spoke.

"Okay, you guys set?" he asked in a teenage...slightly obnoxious tone of voice.

"Yeah, I'm good." the second said in a sort of Brooklynese accent

"What about you Snatch?"

"I'm good, now let's go." the third said in sort of a brooding serious tone of voice.

"Right now, like-right now?"

"Yeah, you gotta problem with that?"

"Nope."

"Let's hit it."

"Right, just let's get our diversion underway." the first said.

Back inside Bridgette was still crossing her arms as she and the Commish' moved about the floor.

"You are aware I work here right?" she asked

"I know, but I always give you the grand tour."

"Sigh-fine, whatever!"

"That's the spirit."

"Yo Commish!" Chef called

"Chef! Ah I see you brought both your brothers with you today."

"Yeah."

"How ya doin' Commish."

"Good Carlo, how's the Vice business treating ya in the Bronx?"

"Oh believe you me, were busy."

"I'm sure, Andre! How have you been?"

"Yo I've been pretty good."

"Oh yeah, fellas, this is my daughter Bridgette, Bridge, these are Harvey's brothers Carlo, and Andre."

"Hey."

"How ya doin'?"

"Uh...good." her eyes never left Carlo.

"Oh, Carlo's adopted." Chef explained.

Carlo Bullock was a very stocky Guido looking guy to say the least. Your stereotypical detective, just like his brother. Whereas Andre was well built, unlike the two of them. Very cut, and definitely a little older than the two.

"Hey boss." Gil Mason said

"Bridge, you remember Gil ri-"

"Yes Dad! I know who Gil is! Jeesh!" Bridgette stormed off into her dad's office.

"Was it something I said?" Chris asked, he got joint shrugs . "Gil, this handsome young gentlemen must be your father."

"Yes, everyone this is my old man, Stan Mason."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Commissioner, and uh; thanks for whipping my boy here into shape."

"Gasp! You called me your boy-[slap]-Dammit quit ruining moments!" Stan snapped

"Yes sir."

Bridgette slammed the door behind her.

"Stupid Dad. Why does he always treat me like a baby! I'm Batgirl for crying out loud! The female protector of the night! I might as well just come clean and tell him, I tried once...looks like it meant nothing-"

"Well I wouldn't say nothing."

"Gasp."

"Your dad's always been a little bit of a hot head." To Bridgette's dismay, someone turned around in Chris's chair.

"Uh...G-g-g-g-g-g-Grandpa! Grandpa Jim, what brings you here, and please tell me your still experiencing hearing loss." she said sheepishly.

"I am...except when people speak really-really loud." Bridgette hung her head. "Honey why haven't you told anyone this-I mean this is...such a good thing! It makes it better cause you're a Gordon, and Gordon's are tough."

"But...Grandpa-I just-"

"I'm sure you're Dad will be fine...and if he's not I'll make it fine."

"Aw, thanks." he gave her a quick kiss on the forehead.

"Now, come on. We'll make this a true take your daughter to work day experience he'll never forget." they left the office.

"That's right, 57 Ventura street like 5 possible arsens!" Chris yelled. Most of the police had left the building from the call. All that remained was Courtney and Carly, The Brother's Bullock, Chris, Gil and his dad, Jim and Bridgette.

"Son."

"Oh hey pop when did you get here?"

"Not important, I do so love checking up on your progress, but uh; Bridgette had something she wanted to tell you, privately."

"Oh sure, come on pumpkin let's go- [CRASH!]

The three from the van bust in from the skylight above. Each wore heavy military grade body armor, which could easily deflect up to a 30 ought 6 round even at close range. Each also wore a specially designed hockey goalie's mask, also heavily armored...the leader's color was in red white and blue, the second in orange, white and green, and the last in red, white, and green.

"Alright, everyone stand where they are and this'll go a lot smoother!" the lead guy said. Bridgette clicked the emergency button on her bat-Communicator watch.

The holder of Trent's watch wherever he was looked at the location.

"Police HQ? Perfect."

"Wait a second, I recognize those voices anywhere...O'Connor...Cratcheville...Naples?"

"Ah, I see you remember us." the second said.

"You wanna explain this mess son?" Jim asked

"Scott O'Connor, Jason Cratcheville, and Trevor Naples used to be cops here in Gotham." Chef explained "Only a mass of brutality charges got them hashed by the Commish'."

"Chef's right."

"Hey those damn kids had it coming!" the third defended

"Enough! What do you want?" Chris asked

"Revenge you moron!" they aimed guns. "I'm Shifty!" the first said...presumably O'Connor

"I'm Blast." the second added...presumably Cratcheville

"And I'm Snatch!" the third finished...presumably Naples.

"And so sorry to be such ungracious hosts, but we really must make this quick." Shifty said taking out a large bomb.

"You'll rue the day you messed with the Terrible Trio!"

"Just like those morons did at Ventura street, ha-ha-ha-ha!"

CRASH-suddenly

"What?"

"No!"

"It's him...It's the Batman...I thin-[oof]"

"Batman" launched his way into the nearest window and kicked Blast right in the face. And stuck the landing...only, he looked a little different.

"Okay...The Terrible Trio...but playtime...is over." he even sounded different. His voice really deep and ominous

Bridgette stunned and confused, yet undaunted looked for a place to change.

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	131. Thrice The Chaos, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"Oh. My. GOD! Oh-my-God-oh-my-God-oh-my-God-oh-my-God! This is the bestest take-your-child-to-work-day ever!" Carly screeched "I can't believe I'm actually looking at the actual Batman!"

"Uh...I'm not quite sure this is the REAL Batman Carls."

You're right to think that Montoya. This Batman was far different from our Batman. This Batman had on a similar cape, cowl, and armored suit, but that's where the similarities end. The ears were shorter, his chin, more professional and with cut features, different from Trent's. Instead of a dark Bat insignia on the sternum, this Batman had a smaller Bat in the center of a golden oval. Even the Utility-Bat was a little different.

"You're not Batman!" Shifty accused

"Yeah, you look nothing like him! You're an imposter!"

"Ugh." Blast stood up after getting his sh*t wrecked. "I dunno fellas...he sure creates pain like Batman-ow." he groaned.

"I'm not convinced."

"Neither am I Snatch."

"Why do you need convincing, cause all I need is the satisfaction." Batman smirked

"Satisfaction of what?" Snatch asked

"This-[swipe]"

"Unh-THUD!" He sideswiped Shifty to the floor.

"That's it!" Snatch raised his gun "You're finished Bat-Fake!"

"I don't think so!" he quickly tossed a Batarang.

"Ha, ya missed-[thwack]" like a boomerang it came back and knocked him over.

"Did I?" suddenly Batgirl jumps out of nowhere

"HA! No one invited me to this party?" she asked

"...Good girl." Jim nodded.

"You're late." Batman nodded

"Don't think you're fooling me wherever you are-"

"Enough games!" Blast shouted

"HEY!" he grabbed Carly

"LET HER GO YOU LITTLE!" Courtney yelled gun drawn

"Not so fast office-whore!" Blast put a gun to the gir-that's a tad graphic for a kids show, he held her really-really tight. "One wrong move, and your daughter's history!"

"Grr." Courtney dropped her gun, she knew she was beat

"Let her go Blast! Settle this like a man!" Gordon yelled

"Just put her down Cratcheville." Batgirl said calmly

"No!" Blast shouted

"I agree."

"Carly!" Courtney said surprised

"No-no this is perfect! I get to have the day saved by one of my favorite heroes! This really is the best take your child to work day ever! Cause all mom wanted to do was take me to-yuck, the mayor's office!"

"Hey, what's wrong with the mayor?" Batman asked

"Nothing...shes like some counsel-lady or something-I dunno, but this is wayyyyy cooler!"

"Ha! Little does she know, she ain't getting saved! We'll get to Gordon one way or another!" Shifty blared

"Ha! I'd like to see you try!" Chef yelled

"Watch us-[koosh]" they threw down some smoke pellets, and disappeared...With Carly

"Smoke getaway...oldest trick in the book!" Batman shook his head.

"Quick! Everyone fan out! Don't let em get away!" Carlo shouted

"We'll split up and search the place before they leave!"

"Oh boy, come on pop! Let's go get em!" Gil cheered

"Whoa-easy there sport, don't get too ahead of yourself, pace."

"Sigh, yes sir."

Everyone split up. Batman started down the main hallway of the floor. Batgirl was close behind him.

"Wait!"

"There's no time Batgirl! Come on, I have an idea where they're headed!"

"No you don't!" she got in front of him.

"Batgirl, get out of the way, come on!" he became agitated

"No! You're not the real Batman-though very threatening and convincing as it maybe, I know you're a fake! Now who are you?"

". . .Fine. Rest assured Trent is safe, in fact...he probably has no idea." Batman unmasked

"Huh? Mayor Hill?"

"Yes."

"So that's why you were leery when Carly said something about you...wait-wait-wait, then this has to mean-"

"Yes Ms. Gordon, I am the original Batman."

"But-how did you know-"

"I made it my business to know, must say I'm impressed. In fact-"

"Ham?"

"Oh n-Jim!" Jim Gordon approached them.

"Hey Grandpa."

"Been a long time since I've seen you in that outfit Hill. But why?"

"I missed the good old days, thought I'd hijack my old job for awhile. Now we can't stand around wasting anymore time, the longer we sit the longer we give them time to get away with Carly!"

"Agreed! Let's move!"

Somewhere else in the building The brother's Bullock were confronted by Snatch!

"There he goes!" Andre yelled

"Let's go bros!" Chef went in front

"Wait-pant-pant-pant-I hate-pant-pant-pant-running!" Carlo panted

Snatch headed for the elevator, reaching for the button he was tackled to the ground by Andre!

"Careful Dre, he's an ex cop, he'll have some moves!" Carlo warned

"I'm sure we can handle it." Chef grinned pounding his fists together.

"Oh damn...three against one, that's not exactly fair."

"Were Bullock's, we don't do fair? Sound fair?" Carlo asked

"Good one tubby." Snatch retorted.

"Wise ass."

"Enough talk! Where's Carly!" Andre yelled

"Uh, ya got sh*t in yer ears bowling ball head!" he asked Andre...who's bald "Blast has her!We just gotta get to the roof, so we can get away in our chopper, sound fair?"

"Oh, no he di'nt!" Chef yelled

"Ah, let's just ice this mook and go save da day?" Carlo suggested

"Like it."

"Love it bro."

they lunged at Naples, who was just too good for them. He jumped and all three stooges ran into each other, suddenly the elevator door opened, and Snatch jumped in.

"Thank-you-thank-you-thank-you, suck-it-suck-it-suck it-suck-OW!" Right before the door closed all the way Chef managed to reach his fist in and punch Snatch into the wall. Needless to say his elevator ride was quite painful.

"Ow."

"Nice uppercut Harv." Andre complimented

"Thanks." he got over his radio. "Commish! Naples is headed for the roof, they got a chopper waiting. Cratcheville still has Carly."

"_Cool Chef, Montoya and I are on our way now."_

"_HOLD ON CARLY! AUNTIE COURTNEY'S A-COMIN'!"_

A floor or so below the roof, the Mason family looked about for one of the three. By the way, I was very impressed how easily you guys were able to figure out Stan Mason is just an older knock-off of Stan Smith, Gil Mason however, is NOT a mock-up of an older Steve Smith, he is actually a character from Batman: The Animated Series.

"Boy isn't this great Dad, father and son...out on the hunt for three deranged kidnappers-"

"Shh."

"Oops, sorry." Gil whispered "It's just nice to share some quality father and son bond-"

"SHHHH! Simmer down there champ, I'm trying to hear their breathing if I can." suddenly Stan just stopped "And hold on a second, this is your idea of quality Father and Son bonding time? God, your mother was right I should have been there for ALL your Pee-Wee games, bless her soul."

"Don't worry about it, this works for me...and are you sure you can hear breathing, you are experiencing hearing loss."

"Well I can't with your constant yammering!"

"Sorry."

"That's okay...but, if there's one thing my 39 years in the FBI taught me, it's vigilance-vigilance-vigilance."

"But...you've been retired for over 7 years."

"...Hey Gil?"

"Yes Dad."

"Shut-up."

"Yes sir."

"Hmm, now if I was a scumbag...where would I hide?" Stan pondered right below a vent, with Shifty right above it.

"Right...here pops." he whispered. He jumped down, and Stan immediately got him into an under-hook to a throw, and tossed him down the hall. Shifty rolled the hallway hitting every fall with a thud."

"OW!" he finally stopped.

"Ha! 64 years old and I still got it." Stan smirked

"HA! You got wrecked by an old man fool!" Gil yelled

"Sure, you laugh now...But young Carl won't be doing much laughing soon!" he threw another smoke pellet and headed for the stairs.

"THE ROOF!"

"Let's go!"

On the roof, Blast was effortlessly dragging Carly to their landed helo.

"Come on you move faster so Batman can save the day already!"

"You are the most unconventional, annoying hostage in the world, you know that, right?"

"Yup."

"Good." he strapped her in. Snatch was the first to hit the roof next.

"Trev, what took ya?"

"Pain." he hit the floor in the chopper, Shifty came next.

"Hurry up Blast, they're coming! Let's go already!" he ordered

"Alright-alright!" the chopper took off.

Jim Gordon, Batgirl and Batman came next, followed soon after by Chris Gordon.

"Aw man they're taking off!" Chris yelled

"Brilliant deduction son, MOVE IT!"

"Yes sir!" Chris and company hopped in. Stan, Carlo, and Chef came next.

"Wait!"

"Wait for us!"

"Hurry up, let's go!" Batman ordered.

Chris immediately took off in the helicopter, just as Gil, Courtney, and Andre finished off their rooftop climb.

"NO!"

"Hey what about us! … SHES MY NIECE!"

"Aw man, I never get to have any fun."

The chopper was racing against the clock! Chef and Carlo flew the bird, while everyone else stood in the back, watching the enemy helicopter continue to dodge skyscrapers and buildings...very gracefully.

"Bullocks! Keep on em!"

"Roger dat freak!" they yelled in unison.

"Just stay on their tail!" Jim ordered "We'll catch em, wherever they're going."

"Now this, is a great day!" Stan cheered.

"Aw-sh*t!They're headed for Midtown!" Carlo sneered

"That bad?" Stan asked

"Yeah, some of Gotham's tallest and most populated buildings are in Midtown!" Chef added

. . .

"Okay boys, time to turn up the heat! Snatch!" Shifty ordered "Give it to em."

"With pleasure." He got out an RPG, and took aim

"Ooh, a challenge...It's accepted!" Carly chanted

"SHOVE IT! Your ruining my concentration." Snatch took aim "Now where was I?" . . . "Aloha...Gordon-[poooooooosh]"

"RPG!" Batgirl yelled

"I can't get evasive-[crash]"

"It hit our rotor!" Batman yelled. The chopper began to spin out of control. Right for the other chopper.

"Uh...Blast?"

"Yeah?"

"Get. Us. OUTTA HERE!"

"What do you-oh NO-[baaaaaang]

The two choppers collided, and crashed into the roof of the diamond exchange...of course. Which was ironically enough right across the street from the Wayne Enterprises Building...and guess whose office had a panoramic view? Come on guess...

Batman was thrown from the helo, and started to roll off the roof. , with the now empty chopper rolling towards him. Batman fell, BUT, with quick reflexes, was able to grab onto the side of the roof, and the broken chopper rolled over him, then plummeted to the ground 27 stories below.

"Whoaaa-AHHHHH!" Chris was headed that way too, but a quick Batman was able to use his free hand to grab him.]Across the street Trent was showing Cody the importance of Quarterly Evaluations... Sounds like crap. Cody had a view of across the street, and was falling asleep fast, Trent had his back to the situation.

"Now if you'll turn your attention to this graph, you'll see the projected capital for next quarter which should hopefully double our-"

"Uh, Trent?"

"Am I going too fast for you Cody?"

"No, but I think were needed across the street."

"What makes you say..." he turned around. "Suit up."

"Whew...they don't pay me enough." Chris chuckled grabbing onto the building.

The two managed to climb up, they saw A wounded Stan comforting a slightly bruised Carly on a piece of the sturdy glass roof, a Jim Gordon hobbling towards the center of the roof, cracking. Both Bullock's out cold on solid roof, and a chained and K-O Batgirl in the hands of Shifty.

"Don't even think about it Bat-Fake! Or the dames history!"

"O'Connor! Think about what you're doing!" Batman yelled as the roof continued to crack.

"Oh no, we thought long and hard what to do and were not going to let some mishaps, and some wannabe family's destroy this for u-[CRASH!]"

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Those on the cracked side of the roof fell, Jim and Chris managed to grab onto to tapestrys, and slide down to the next floor, Snatch and Blast fell RIGHT to said floor...ouch. While Batman fell towards the falling Shifty, and Batgirl falling fast to the bottom of the building.

Batman grabbed onto Batgril and launched a Bat hook to the nearest floor. Shifty was lucky enough to grab onto a suspended flagpole jutting out from a wrap around floor.

"ERRRRRRRRG! CURSE YOU BATMAN!"

Batman smirked...

"Ah, just like old times."

Back outside Batgirl had some explaining to do to Daddy, while Batman and Jim chewed some fat. Carly was reunited with Courtney.

"Aunt Courtney!"

"Carly, are you al-"

"Best. DAY. EVER!"

"Whew." And the Terrible Trio were driven away.

"So...I guess I should have figured what you meant by a job?" he told his daughter

"Sorry."

"It's okay, it's a good thing Bridge, I like what you guys do...and thank you old friend." he said to Batman.

"No problem, perhaps I'll be back soon." he lauhced a Bat hook at the nearst building "Batgirl." he got out the Bat-Communicator "Give this to your boss." he said before flying away

"Boss...what did he mean by that?" Chris asked, suddenly, The REAL Batman and Robin flew in

"Hey!"

"What did we miss?"

"...The best take-your-child-to-work-day-ever." Batgirl smiled.

"Couldn't agree more." Jim added

**The End!**

**Okay even I admit that was pretty freakin' epic! Well guys Season 6 is winding down, we got our camping episode next, then Part one of the killing joke, PLEASE REVIEW and stay tuned! =)**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Detective Courtney Montoya

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill/Batman

**Bob Hastings: **Jim Gordon

**S. Scott Bullock: **Scott O'Connor/Shifty

**Billy West: **Jason Cratcheville/Blast

**Rob Paulsen: **Trevor Naples/Snatch, Co-Commissioner Gil Mason

**Tara Strong: **Carly Montoya, Crystal

**Robert Costanzo: **Carlo Bullock

**Kevin Michael Richardson: **Andre Bullock

**Seth MacFarlane: **Stan Mason


	132. It Came From Gotham Rock, Part I

**Villain(s): Jack Denton, Erica Truesdale, Scarecrow, Killer Croc**

**Loosely Based: Scooby-Doo Camp Scare (directed by Ethan Spaulding, 2010)**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Dan Riba **

**Teleplay By: Bruce W. Timm&Eric Radomski**

**Art Direction: Eric Radomski**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 65: It Came From Gotham Rock**

No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no!" Bridgette Gordon begged! She was being carried by Commissioner Chris Gordon to a bus. He had a backpack in his free hand. "I'm not going!"

"Oh yes you are!"

"No I'm not!"

"Oh yes you are!"

"But Daaaaaaaaaaady whyyyyyyyy?"

"Bridge, this summer camp will be good for you, besides, I got a great deal from the back of Overbearing Parents Monthly."

"But Dad you don't understand-you know my secret now! And Batman needs me." I sure hope she whispered that last part

"He'll make do without you for a few weeks. Besides, you need to better your social skills." Chris explained

"I have social skills!"

"Oh really?"

"Yes."

"Well Bridge, you sure fooled me." he put his arms around his daughter and led her towards he bus "You're right, you have fine social skills, this camp is a load of crap-a waste of time."

"Thank you father. You finally see the error of your ways." they came to the steps

"Oh believe me, I have-oh watch your step honey."

"Thanks Dad. So I hope you know that-" she figured out where she was "Dammit you tricked me!"

"Me? Nooooooooo."

"Erg, fine I'll go I guess." she crossed her arms and rolled her eyes

"That's my girl, now I packed your Batgirl outfit, with a few goodies thrown in...and uh." he got to a low whisper "I packed Mr. Snuggles, just in case you get scared."

"Ugh, thanks Dad, I guess." she hopped onto the bus.

"See you in a few weeks!"

Moments later, pulling up in his Mercedes Convertible, Alfred pulled an equally reluctant Cody Drake from the passenger's seat.

"Alfred! Why do I have to go to this lame ass summer cammmmmp?" he complained.

"Because Master Trent read about it in Overbearing Parents Monthly, and let's face it, a few weeks away from the Vbox and the Television will do you some good."

"Xbox Alfred, X-Box." Cody corrected

"Don't take offense Master Cody, but as you youngsters say, I could give two sh*ts." He grabbed Cody's bag. And they approached the bus.

"Well at least this might be a good time to catch up on my survival training."

"That's the spirit. He hopped on the bus. "Alright Master Cody, Godspeed to you."

"Thanks Alfred."

"I also packed your cell phone just in case."

"Thanks."

"Alright, good luck me lad."

Cody hopped onto the the bus, there were several children already on board, and a familiar face he recognized almost immediately...as she was the oldest camper on said bus.

"Bridgette?"

"Cody?"

"What are you doing here?" the said in unison "Overbearing Parents Monthly? Wow, that's weird." they shared a chuckle then sat down together.

"I can't believe we have to go to some lame summer camp at Gotham Rock National Forest." Bridgette groaned

"Well believe it, cause it's happening."

"Sigh...And since were both here, that only means Trent and Geoff are going to guard the city from scoundrels, crooks, our rogues, and whatever else the night decides to throw at us."

"Yeah but look at it this way Bridge, we got three whole weeks of absolutely no night work." Cody sat back arms behind his head

"Oh yeah, we actually get a...a...dare I say it?"

"Vacation?"

"Vacation." she sighed happily.

The bus had finally parked inside the campground. Miles away from all the hustle and bustle of Gotham City. In the beautiful Gotham Rock Forest. The kids (All 10 of them) exited the bus, and were greeted by a strong yet young looking man.

"Hellooooooooooo Campers!" he greeted them. "I'm Scott-no relation to the moron responsible for the siege on the Gotham Police Headquarters three weeks ago-and I'll be your Camp Instructor! Now whose ready for three weeks of super awesome fun at camp Gotham Rock!"

"Someone's a little over enthusiastic." Bridgette whispered.

"You're telling me."

The campers were given official camp t-shirts and then assigned cabins...Since there were only 10, it wasn't too hard. Cody had three bunk mates. One was an athletic kid a little taller than he, with dirty blonde hair. The other was shorter with a crew cut, and darker brown hair.

"Hey, this cabin 3?" Cody asked

"Yeah." the taller one said enthusiastically.

"Then I'm in the right place, names Cody Drake."

"Good to meet ya Cody, I'm Gregory Stevenson, but you can call me Greg."

"I'm Eric, Eric Radomski, nice to meet you Cody." the other said in a deeper than expected voice

"So, how did you guys end up here?" Cody asked.

"Well, the bus took us here."

"Uh, I think he means how did end up going in the first place Eric." Greg explained. "I'd like to assume your parents aren't the only ones subscribed to Overbearing Parent Monthly?"

"Seems to be a recurring theme." Eric added

"But given the deception aside, this place looks nice." Greg said looking about the cabin. "And you're talking to a guy whose been to his fair share of Summer Camps."

Bridgette also had a cabin of three, herself, a girl with short brown hair, and another girl, taller with blonde hair, near ear height.

"Um, hi."

"Oh you must be our other roommate." the short haired girl said "I'm Tori Allen."

"And I'm Grace Pomrinca, who are you?" the other asked

"Bridgette Gordon."

"I've heard of you, you're like the police commissioner's daughter, right?"

"Yup, that's me."

"But aren't you like...in College?" Tori asked

"Don't remind me."

"Overbearing Parents Monthly?"

"...F*ck yes."

Twas later that evening around the campfire, Scott was telling the campers a few ghost stories to help lull their little hearts to a deep nightmarish sleep.

"Back in the 50's when the lumber industry was big in GR National Forest, there was this one lumberjack, by the name of Jack Denton. Now Jack looked like any ordinary lumberjack if you were to follow the stereotypes, flannel shirt, giant beard, huge gut, jeans, chainsaw, the whole nine. But for some reason, the kids here, didn't like old Jack. He succumb to every nickname-fatty, disgusting-smelly, Jack just went about his business as usual. Til one day...they went too far."

"What happened?" Another kid asked

"Well, the story goes, they stole Jack's lunch box when he wasn't looking...and now if I have learned a few things in my life there are two kinds of people you never steal food from: High School Wrestlers, and Lumberjacks. So old Denton chased after them, he tailed them all the way to Gotham Rock cliff, but Jack, ran too far and slipped to certain doom...they say now, he walks the campgrounds with his ax, looking for that very lunchbox."

Everyone looked scared out of their britches, all except for Bridgette.

"Mm-hmm, you got anymore of these so-called, "ghost stories" Scott?"

"Well alright, I suppose we got time for just one more...The tale of old Erica Truesdale. Back in the summer of 1984 I interned here as camp counselor, twas my first year. There was this girl, Erica Truesdale, around your ages. Erica, she wasn't liked by her fellow campers, mostly due to her Gothic nature. Oh she kept to herself, but what choice did she have, no one wanted anything to do with her. No matter how harmless she looked, the other kids just...hated her. One day, one of the really despicable mean girls decided to pull a mean prank on old Erica, she replaced her makeup with Hydrochloric acid, it deformed her face. She ran away, no one saw any sign of her. But it's said, she roams the grounds of the camp preying on any victim who she chooses...Any better Bridgette?"

"...Sorta." she shrugged

"Well good, glad I could quench your story ridden souls. Alright children, time for bed."

Sometime through the night, Cody's lower intestines started to rumble.

"Ugh...damn chili." he groaned

"I know that noise, you got the chili runs?" Greg guessed

"Yup."

"Join the club." Greg grabbed his flashlight.

The two embarked on a great crusade, through the woods, and to the latrine.

"Hey, you think those stories about Denton and Truesdale are legit?" Greg asked

"I dunno, but you ever have that feeling that when you have to go NOTHING else matters?"

"Oh yeah."

"Feeling it...Still, whether they're legit or not, a good ghost story is guaranteed to soil the undies...still dry."

"Yeah I guess...It's no Jason Voorhees mind you but, it got the old heart pump-[chok]-ing-gulp." just perpendicular to Greg was a tree, and an ax was just launched into it.

"Voorhees huh?" the guy approached in a creepy voice, wearing lumberjack clothing "I killed Jason Voorhees-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Yipe! It's him!" Greg yelled

"It's...Jack Denton...SPLIT UP!" Cody yelled

"No kidding." the two boys dispersed, Greg immediately tripped on a submerged root, and ate sh*t. "Unh-oof!" he turned and saw Denton right above him, with a bandaged up face, ax in his hands.

"Well-well-well-fresh meat...like the meat I didn't get, in my lunchbox!" he raised his ax...just as Greg 'washed' his underwears. But, before he was turned into mincemeat, a Batarang knocked the ax right from Denton's hand

"Ow!" he turned

"No way." Greg looked.

"What's the matter Lumberjack? Run out of trees to cut-oh wait a minute, I can do better...uh, Sorry Ax man, your show's just been canceled-oh yeah, that's much better." Robin said coming out of the woodwork.

"Ha, you're a lotta talk Boy Wonder...and your a bit far outside Gotham! You're in my turf ya lousy punk!" he lunged.

Elsewhere, Bridgette, Tori, and Grace were walking towards the ladies Latrine.

"Damn that chili." Grace moaned

"So greasy, and so many beans!" Bridgette groaned.

"Finally...the ladies latrine." Tori sighed

"I'll watch from the outside, you both go in first." Bridgette suggested

"You'll be able to hold it?" Tori asked

"Sure."

"Wow!"

"Thanks Bridge!" the girls dashed in, not wasting any time. But when they entered, the door closed behind them.

SLAM!

"What the?"

"Hmm-hmm-hmm-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" they turned around to see a horrific face, sitting on the sink table...yes, it's still attached to the body.

"Gasp!"

"Is it...is...it?" Grace stammered

"Girls going to the bathroom together." the girl said in an eerie voice. "That's such a mean girl thing to do, and for that...you have so got to die." she took out a knife.

"I should have known that half baked story was real!" Tori cried

"Oh God! I can't die now! I'M STILL A VIRGIN!" Grace shouted

"Really...that blows."

"And your not?"

"What's that supposed to mean Pomrinca?"

"No-no I mean, you're like 15 and you-"

"I'm 17 thank you very much-"

"HEY! Hello? Your demise here?" Truesdale shrugged

"Erica wait, we hate mean girls!" Grace begged

"Yeah, I'm like the school geek! I'm one step above Goth!" Tori added

"Yet you've been laid?" Grace muttered

"It was a study date, we had some vodka, stuff happened!"

"Enough! I don't care who you think you are, to me you-[chink]" suddenly a yellow Batarang knocked the knife out of her hand.

"YOU!" she pointed

"Well, not the place I would choose for a party, but; I guess this is how kids have fun today."

"Batgirl!"

"YES!"

"Were saved!"

And back to Robin vs Denton. He slammed the lumberjack into a tree!

"OOF!"

"Ha! I was expecting a challenge."

"You're out of your league Boy Wonder, time I took off the gloves!"

"What? You were going easy on me...lame sauce." Robin said in a sing-song voice

"Yes, but I'll finish you...but not here...not this way, I want it to be a spectacle, to get...my...REVENGE!" he picked up his ax and slung it at Robin

"Aw jeez!" he ducked just in time, but when he looked back, Denton was gone, a confused Greg simply shrugged.

"Well, guess I'll be seeing him again."

"That aside...that was...TOTALLY EPIC!" Greg jumped "I can't believe I am talking to THE Robin! Wow! This blows meeting the cast of Everybody Hates Chris on a New York City subway right out of the water!"

'Wow really? I mean, yes citizen, the day is saved, now what you should do is stay in school, and eat healthy, and blah-blah-blah!" Robin dashed off remembering 'Cody' still had the runs.

"Stay in school...IT'S SUMMER VACAY BRO!" Speaking of Cody, he returned a minute or so later

"Greg! Thank God you're alright, what happened?"

"Oh Cody man you missed it, it was Robin, and he-he..."

"We should...find that latrine first."

"Good call!"

Back with the girls, Batgirl was beating the Goth into submission!

"Erg! Come on Truesdale! Either give up or fight!"

"I'll give up, once every popular girl, jock, and 'cool' person, are done away with forever! I'll deal with you later Batgirl! But for now, I must be going!" she disappeared into a cloud of smoke.

"So that's how it's gonna be, huh?" she glared. "Well ladies, I bid you farewell." she unlocked toe door and looked for a place to change as well.

"Well, we still have to go!" the two girls dashed into the stalls, an equally frantic Bridgette ran in.

"Sorry, couldn't wait anymore!"

"Bridgette, you didn't hear us?" Grace asked

"Hear what?" she said trying to sound like a moron

"Batgirl! Truesdale was here threatening us, and there she was...Batgirl! Right there, she helped us!"

"It was so cool."

"Yeah, riiiiiiiiiight, you guys have the same odds of running into Batgirl out here then you will...well, getting laid out here." Bridgette said "Have you seen the guys?"

"Just ask Tori, I'm sure she has some secrets." Grace mocked

"Up yours Grace-oh...I hate the cramps." Tori groaned "So it's agreed, no more camp chili?"

"Agreed."

Meanwhile Overlooking the campsite was Gotham Rock, where Truesdale and Denton returned to

"Boss." Denton whispered

"Boss?"

"Right here." suddenly Killer Croc stepped out of the darkness "How goes the experiment?"

"Wish it went better, considering freaking boy blunder is here."

"Him too! I just got into a scrap with Batgirl." Erica added

"The sidekicks." suddenly Scarecrow appeared "They'll pose a problem, eh."

"They've gotta be campers here." Croc suggested

"That's for true...i want you both to find out who tomorrow...then...kill em, then we shall continue with the experiments." Scarecrow ordered

"Yes sir boss."

"Good, now you both, leave me." they left "Croc."

"Yes?"

"Those bumbling stumps are more useless than unsalted bacon, I want you to try and discover their identities."

"I'm on it."

"Tomorrow, it's been a long day, eh. Time for some sweet nightmares."

"Dreams."

"Whatever, just get some damn sleep eh, God knows those kids won't."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Worth the wait, right...Right?**


	133. It Came From Gotham Rock, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW! Pretty please?  
**

The next morning at breakfast, Greg was telling several of the other campers their bowel reduction inducing adventure the previous evening.

"No really! I saw him!"

"Ha!"

"Your full of sh*t Stevenson."

"I'm serious! Just as Denton's ax was about to chop me into flank steak, there he stood. Robin! The Boy Wonder! Right there in the middle of the woods."

"Are you sure Greg?" Eric asked

"Totally."

"Sure you weren't just hallucinating, cause I swear there was something not right about that chili." another camper suggested

"Nope, Robin was totally there. Cody will vouch for me, right Cody, he was there!"

"No, split up, remember-but I will admit that Jack Denton was totally real, and he attacked us, Greg and I got separated, but I didn't see Robin."

"But at least that proves something, that Denton's real." Greg smirked

"Suuuuuuuuure, I tell ya what, that chili was definitely not right at all."

"Look, what say yous guys are right, and maybe this camp is haunted by some ax wielding maniac, why would Robin come all the way out here, to save one guy-especially when his base is 23 miles that a-way?" Eric asked

"Unless." Greg got the idea

"Unless what?" Cody asked

"Maybe...he's a camper here-"

"Cough-cough-cough!"

"Cody?"

"Cody, you alright man?"

"I'm f-cough-cough-cough-fine." the undercover boy wonder nearly choked down his pancakes. He soon realized his identity would be in jeopardy.

"That does make sense."

"But which one of us is it?"

"I have no idea." Greg shrugged.

Meanwhile just a few tables over, Bridgette and the girls were discussing their own apparition run-in last night

"Wait, so; you mean to tell me that crap Scott told about Truesdale was real?" another camper asked

"Yup, Grace and I saw her, she was exactly how she was described, Gothic with a deformed face." Tori explained

"You sure it just wasn't something in the chili?"

"Nope, she was totally real! It was sooooooooo weird."

"And...we even got our butts saved, by THE Batgirl!"

"What?"

"You're still on that Tor?" Bridgette asked

"Yeah, I can't believe you didn't see her come in Bridge." Grace added

"Well-uh." Bridgette tried to think of an excuse "Batgirl is...very crafty. I bet she sneaked in through the window."

"That makes sense but how did she end all the way out here?" Grace asked

"Uh...so Tori Grace tells me your not a virgin, lets talk about that." Bridgette immediately changed the subject.

"Oh come on, it was last year, it was a study date, then we had some ice cream, and then we went to the living room and-"

"Enough." Grace sighed "How about we talk of the big canoe races today."

"Oh yes, I love the water so much." Bridgette happily sighed

Suddenly Scott took to the stage in the mess hall.

"Your attention campers! It's your friendly neighborhood-"

"Spiderman?"

"NO! Camp director, reminding you all to finish your breakfast, cause the big canoe races start in just a half an hour!"

Croc heard this from just outside the mess hall window.

"So head down to the waterfront post haste Gotham Rock Campers! That is all."

. . .

"Canoe races huh? Perfect."

Back at their cave top lair, Croc explained to Scarecrow their plan.

"So, every child will be canoeing, eh? Excellent, it'll be a perfect opportunity for our synthetic spirits to wreak havoc on their minds...and what better place than in your element Mr. Jones."

"It couldn't be better, so long as Robin and Batgirl don't show up." Croc groused

"Yes, they will pose a slight problem eh...you just leave them to me."

"Okay Zeke."

"Are the boats fueled?"

"Yup, syphoned the gas from a couple mini vans by the old gas station early this morning." Croc explained

"Great, sweet...but oh, the nightmares will be oh so sweeter-ha-ha-ha-ha-Jack! Erica!"

"Yes boss."

"Let's...go to work."

"Let's go to work...that's the best you got?" Croc asked

"Oh, sorry; you have a better one?"

"I dunno, I don't write this crap."

Back at the murky waters of Lake DeVoy, the campers were paired by cabin in a canoe. So doing the math, there are in fact-4 canoes. Scott stood on the docks with a starting gun.

"Alright campers...first canoe across the lake wins-SO, on your mark...get set...-[bang]-go!" suddenly a dead crow plopped down alongside him. "They told me these were blanks! Bastards...oh well, now we got lunch."

Cody's Cabin took a commanding lead.

"Whew, who knew we were that fast." Greg said in between panting.

"Well, it might help that I'm a high school crewing champion." Eric said proudly.

"They have crewing at your high school?" Cody asked...Croc and the others watched from shore.

"Alright, get to work Croc, I'll send our little demons in."

"Right." splash! Croc jumped in.

"And now for our little scare experiment to continue...hmm-hmm-hmm."

The girls were slowing down

"We gotta catch up! We gotta win!"

"Tori's right! Besides I'm not about to let that smug little bastard Eric Radomski win just because he's some crewing champ...or something.

"They have crewing in high school?" Bridgette asked

. . .

"Alright, were nearly halfway there." Cody panted

"Yeah! ...What do we get if we win?" Greg asked

"Huh...I dunno."

"That's a good question."

"LOOK!" another camper noticed two speedboats coming in fast, and who should be driving them but-

"GASP! Jack Denton and Sara Truesdale!"

"AND ME! WHAT ABOUT ME, EH?"

"Oh...And the Scarecrow!" everyone yelled

"Thank you." Cody glared. So did Bridgette.

"Oh great! No wonder Robin was here, it was cause of-[splash]" suddenly Killer Croc rose from the lake, and smashed open their canoe, right in half.

"Oh my God!"

"It's Killer Croc!"

"Oh sure, they acknowledge him no problem!" Scarecrow sneered "Make sure they all end up in the water Denton!"

"Sure thing boss!" the lumberjack lobbed several tomahawks into the hulls of the canoes, capsizing them all...Too soon for a sinking reference?

"No!"

"Aw crap!" all the kids were swimming around, trying to find their bearings, and get out of the croc infested lake.

"Oh my God!"

"He's gonna kill us!"

Under the water, Eric and Greg were looking around the murky depths. Suddenly there was Croc, right behind Greg, he grabbed the boy, but then Croc got an underwater knee to the face, it was Robin. Croc did a few barrel rolls before he noticed who kneed him. And he was not amused. Greg and Eric rushed up for some air.

"Ah-...told...you."

"Sh...sh...shut...up...Greg."

Meanwhile on the boats, Denton got one more ax ready as his boat neared some water treading campers

"Ah, most perfect." he raised the ax [chok]"

"Huh?" Scarecrow looked at why the lumberjack had stopped functioning, a Batarang was deep in his back, Denton fell backwords

"I don't underst-[stomp]" suddenly Batgirl stomped right on his face.

"So, Back for more Brat-girl?" Truesdale asked

"Why do so many people call me that?" Batgirl droaned "Doesn't matter, I know you and Denton over here are just synthetic robos, fabricated by the Scarecrow and Killer Croc!" suddenly the campers weren't quite scared anymore.

"Erg! You smarter than you look! But you're gonna have to try much harder than that to take me down! Care to play chicken?" Truesdale asked facing the position of the other boat.

"Easy." she agreed " I know dad said he packed me some extra goodies, but; I can't risk anything." she got another Batarang ready and launched it right at Truesdale's head, severing it.

"Ew!" the kids agreed. Suddenly Scarecrow stood up in the boat, and approached Batgirl."

"Batgirl look out behind you!"

"Huh-[thok]" Scarecrow hit the deck again, and then appeared Batman. Which prompted more gossip. "Whew, am I glad to see you."

"Just thought I'd check up on you both. And good thing too...speaking of which, where's-[splash!]" Robin came out of the water, with a knocked out Croc.

"Right here boss."

The two criminals were later taken away by the cops. Batman talked it over with his "kids"

"I guess it's a good thing you both ended up here, huh?"

"Yup."

"You know, I could get you both out of here." Batman suggested, the kids looked over from the clearing at the other campers.

"Nah." they agreed

"No?"

"It was actually kind of fun." Robin said

"Yeah, I think we'll just tough it out here."

"Well, alright; I'll see you in a few weeks then." Batman swung away

**The End...**

**Alright guys, season finale is up next! Hope you all like it, I know I sure will. PLEASE REVIEW and get ready for more excitement and all that jazz.**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Jack Denton, camper

**Tress MacNeille: **Erica Truesdale: Grace

**Peter Oldring: **Prof. Ezekiel Crane/Scarecrow

**Adam Reid: **Justin Jones/Killer Croc

**Jess Harnell: **Scott

**Scott Menville: **Greg Stevenson

**Eric Radomski: **Eric Radomski

**Mindy Cohn: **Tori

**Fred Tatasciore: **campers

**Cree Summer: **campers


	134. The Killing Joke, Part I

**Villain(s): Joker, Harley Quinn**

**Loosely Based: (off of the novel: "The Killing Joke" by Alan Moore and Brian Bolland, 1987)**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Tom Ruegger&Kevin Altieri**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini&Bruce W. Timm**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 66: The Killing Joke (Part I)**

"AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Joker chuckled maniacally as his convertible drove down Main Street, with Harley Quinn at the wheel.

The clown Prince of Crime's latest heist, was pilfering the Gotham mint of a hefty sum of gold. Now on the run from the Batmobile, and to his latest hideout, wherever it may be.

"Ah, oh how I love the chase! Batman behind me, the open road in front of me. Ah, the world is my oyster, my very funny oyster that is-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

"Ha, you're such a kidder Mistah J!" Harley yelped "You and those jokes you think of on the fly? You're brilliant." she squeeked

"Oh thanks Harl...oh, one little thing though?"

"Yes Puddin'?"

"It's...WATCH THE DAMN ROAD!" he fumed

"S-s-s-s-sure t-t-thing Mistah J!" Harley chuckled sheepishly getting back onto the road. Joker noticed the Batmobile get closer and closer.

"Okay Harl, just so we don't have a repeat of LAST TIME! I took the liberty of putting the RIGHT gun on TOP of your gay little tote bag. So would you mind handing me the gun?" Joker asked

"Yes sir." Harley handed Joker a smaller Magnum

"Goooooooood! See I knew you weren't a total moron Harley girl."

"Thanks Mistha J! Gosh you're so generous."

"I know-I know, I even amaze myself-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! But now to more important matters." Joker aimed at the Batmobile. "Smile Bats! I recommend 240mgs of casket from the awful .44 caliber headache your about to receive- Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Joker took aim, BUT, just as he was about to pull the trigger, something happened.

Joker's gun was knocked out of his hand by a Batarang. Joker looked up to see Nightwing in the Bat-Copter, just out of the shop from the season 4 premiere fiasco.

"Erg! Nightwing!" Joker sneered

"Hey, I heard I was supposed to pick up 200 million dollars in gold? No don't get up, I'll do it myself!" suddenly a vacuum hose came down from the Bat-Copter and started to suck up all the pilfered gold.

[Verrrrrrrrrrrr]

"NOOOO! MY GOLD!" Joker yelled as he literally watched 200 million get sucked away.

"Uh, Puddin' dontcha mean "our" go-"

"SHUT-UP HARLEY!"

"Yes sir." she slumped back in her seat only to realize she took her eyes off the road a little too long. "WHOOOOA!"

"What? What's with the whoaaaaaaaaaaaa!" they were unaware they were driving right into a construction site.

"I told you to watch the rooooooooooooo-[screeeeeeeeeeeeee]" . . . wait for it . . . [CRASH]

"Oh, that's gonna leave a mark!" Nightwing smirked. He flew away, and Batman drove off, assuming Joker would be subdued until the cops arrived.

Joker's car was completely in shambles, garters and concrete piping here everywhere, the injured Clown Prince staggered from the wreckage. As did Harley.

"Well M-m-m-m-m-m-Mistah...J-J, it just goes to show that...uh...tt-t-t-that."

"That...YOU CAN'T DRIVE-[slap]"

Back at Joker's lair, the abandoned Funnibone Shipping Company in South Gotham, the Clown Prince paced angrily about the floor, whist Harley did her chores.

"I doesn't make sense...how does Guano Man always have an edge over me...I mean, I'm the greatest-Most infamous villain the city-nay! The World, has ever seen...so how does a broody sociopath with clearly too much time on his hands in a Halloween costume always beating me!" he fumed, sitting in his easy chair. "Just doesn't make any sense." . . . "Harley?"

"Yes Puddin'?"

"Where's my sammich, I'm peckish."

"Almost there Puddin, I just gotta do your laundry, pick up your dry cleaning, mop the kitchen, and feed Bud and Lou, THEN I'll get your sandwich, okay?" she said happily.

"Humph, slacking of are we?"

"I'm trying Mistah J, really; I wish I could somehow work a lot faster, would that make you happy baby?"

"Ecstatic! But unless you have a cloning machine on hand-or know where to get one, I suggest you light a fire under your big-juicy butt!"

"Yes sir!"

"Hmm...what is that edge?" he questioned getting more and more agonized by each passing second.

"If I could make a suggestion Puddin, maybe it's one of the sidekicks, ya know: Robin, Batgirl, and uh...what's the other one?"

"Nightwing you dipstick! The one who broke up our heist this evening, remember?"

"Oh yeah, right."

"Oh but that suggestion is bogus anyway Harley, Robin is a stupid kid, Batgirl is clumsier than...well than you."

"And that's saying a lot."

"Shut-up and get back to work...hmm, and that-that putrid Nightwing is a...is...a...huh, he doesn't really have too many flaws, does he?" yes he does! "That's it!" he stood up

"What's it?"

"Batman's edge, is Nightwing! I knew it! I knew it would be one of the sidekicks."

"Actually I thought of it Mistah-"

"All I have to do is find out who he is...destroy him, and then...Batman will go crazy, he'll lose is touch, he'll forget his morals...[gaaaaaaaaasp]-he...might even...dare I say it...Kill someone, oh this plan is brilliant, glad I thought of it. Harley if you need me, I'll be out."

"Oh Actually Puddin' I need some-[slam]-o-okay, bye Mistah J."

Back at Wayne Manor, Geoff and Trent were going over some logistics in the Bat-Cave.

"Just an ordinary Robbery." Trent sighed

"Nah, he was probably going to use that gold for some sort of scheme involving whoopie cushions or laughing gas...or fish, he's still on fish, right?"

"Eh, it's a passing fad." Trent turned around in his chair "You understand Joker does whatever he wants whenever he wants...whatever seems "Funny" to him at the time. There isn't a more deranged psychopath in the world, quite like him Geoff...You thank God for everyday, that you didn't have to see him transform into the monster he is to this very day...He manipulates, kills, burns...just for a laugh-I mentioned to Alfred a year or so back, that most criminals have logical motives for their crimes...but the Joker's just makes sense to him and him alone. Well, all except for Lindsey Quinzel, hell I doubt that ditz will ever see the light. Shes so wrapped into Joker, and she'll never realize what a monster he truly is. And he is...he is the saddest, most evil clown in the history of crime, he doesn't need logic for anything, all he needs is whatever he can use, to make himself laugh, whether it progresses him in any way or not. You realize Geoff that every rogue we face always want some kind of goal, or opportunity to come their way, whether it's to impress someone, get rich quick, or destroy the city or even the world...But not Joker...There are some who just have nothing better to do than to cause pain or suffering...And that fortunately handful of demons...are the most dangerous, and deadly than any criminal you can face...and in the sense of those alive, Joker seems to be the only one left. I guess what I'm trying to say here is...some criminals want something to gain to them or a select few others...but in the case of the Joker...well, some just want to watch, and see the world burn...So then we, the few...the chosen...we rise up-put our lives on the line-night-after night...to keep the city safe from those like him...And whether you do this to combat a personal tragedy or whatever...you do it for the good of your city...your countrymen...and the ones you love most...living or not...But now, we wait...wait for his next move, I sit here talking to you and thinking to myself...who will it affect...and how can we stop it...It all revolves around God's personal schedule...called time." Trent turned to Geoff, who was resting against an evidence table...sawing logs.

"Zzzzzzzzzz."

"Oh for God's sake GEOFF WAKE UP!"

"Zzzz-z—z-huh, wha?"

"Um-huh-wha-WAKE UP YOU! I just gave the best hero monologue ever and here you are, sleeping?"

"Sorry Trent-[yawn]-I guess I'm a little tired, that's all."

"Yeah sure, it's been a long night for all of us." Trent agreed with a yawn, I'm going to bed. Were done with our evening rounds anyhow."

"Yeah, I'll lock things up down here, goodnight."

"Goodnight Geoff-[yawn]-see you in the morning." Trent yawned walking up the stairs to go to bed.

Geoff sat back at the Bat-Computer, then his stomach rumbled.

"Oh jeez, seems I got myself a mad-mad case of the mad-mad munchies, well; nothing a little stop at Wawa can't fix."

Geoff walked upstairs, grabbed the keys to his Trans Am Firebird (vintage of course) and made the trek to the local Wawa. He yawned some more, and staggered into the chips, and tastycake isle...

"Well, let me see here...I'll take one of these, and four of these, oh and like a dozen of these...and a liter of Coke." just as he got all the stuff he wanted, he noticed a very unfortunately familiar face walk in.

"Alright Shop-Keep!"

"Gasp! The Joker!"

"No I'm the freaking ice cream man! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Now make this easy on yourself, fork over whatever is green and has presidential faces on them in that register of yours." he ordered drawing a gun. _"Now I simply wait for the bat and Night-meal-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm." _Joker thought to himself.

Suddenly a Batarang clipped the gun right out of Joker's hand.

CHINK!

"Huh, so soon?" he then spotted Nightwing.

"Ha! You're messing with the wrong convenience store Joker!" He shouted

"As a matter of fact Night-Dork! You're the exact person I came here for-talk about convenience-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-cause you know, it's convenient your here...were in a convenience st-you know what, never mind the prattle! Let's battle!" Joker threw down a smoke grenade, and left empty handed.

"Cough-cough-cough, bastard!" Nightwing ran outside after him. He saw Joker hop in his car.

"Hey, I thought you said you wanted to fight!"

"Yes, but the location just wasn't suiting my fancy! Catch me if you can Night-poop-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Joker drove off. Nightwing- undaunted, went for his Firebird, and gave chase after him.

"Oh no you don't!" Nightwing stepped on it "You're not getting away from me that easily Joker!"

Meanwhile Harley Quinn was darting through an ally, with a full bottle of Tide in her hands

"Whew...I think...I think...I...Finally...lost them!" she yelled. She peered behind a corner to catch her breath only to realize she wasn't followed.

"Ha-ha, nothing like coning off a few class-A suckers, and now I can finally finish the laundry-[fwip-fwip-fwip]-HEY!" a Bat-hook and rope tied itself around Harley, and suddenly Batgirl appeared

"Gosh Harley, this is most certainly a new low for you...pilfering laundry detergent?" she asked picking up the bottle.

"Ha! I was just using that to clean Mistah J's laundry, I thoght I'd surprise him while he's out trying to destroy Nightwing-oop." . . . "I goofed."

"What?" Batgirl angrily grabbed her collar

"Yipe!"

"Speaking of your...Puddin...where is old pasty face...what say you and I have some nice old fashioned girl time...what do you say?" Harley simply offered a sheepish grin

"Uh-ha-ha, s-s-s-s-ure B-Girl, w-w-w-whatever you say."

"Good, hows about you and I adjourn to somewhere more private...say, the police station?"

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	135. The Killing Joke, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Trent was dreaming. Dreaming that Batman i.e him, was running through a major network of twisted staircases through some sort of castle like place.

"No...N-n-no...n-no..."

. . .

"_No...Nooooo!" he ran as fast as his dream legs could carry him up the winding staircase. _

"_Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Better hurry Batzy! I can feel my fingers slipping over the trigger-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Joker shouted from somewhere else_

"_No! No please!" he heard Geoff cry also from somewhere else._

"_No! No! Don't! Joker! Jooooooooooooookeeeeeeeeeeer! This is between you! And Me! MEEEEEEEEEEE!" _

"_Yeah but you see Bats, there's a certain oh, how should I put it...mismatch between us! And I'm just here to level the playing field-hah-hah-hah-hah-a-ha-hah-hah-hah-hah!"_

"_No! No Joker! Jooooookeeeeeeeer!"_

"_Better hurry Batman! Your times almost up, and mines just beginning-hah-hah-hah-hah!"_

"_That laugh...t-t-that...that-that horrible disfigured laugh!"_

"_Batman help me!"_

"_I'm trying Nightwing just hold on!" he yelped "HOLD ONNNN!" Eventually he made it to the top of the tower, Joker had Nightwing cornered, gun at the aim...if that was the correct sentence structure. _

"_NOOOOO!"_

"_Sorry Bats, but as they say; Dieing is easy-grieving is hard."_

"_No! No!' [...BANG]"_

"_NOOOOOOOOO!"_

"_AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"_

"_No! No! No! No! No! No! No!" Batman fell to his knees, Joker suddenly disappeared, and the Dark Knight suddenly heard Geoff's voice from...somewhere-purgatory, I guess_

"_Why couldn't you save me Trent...why?"_

"_Geoff I tried...I really...tried." suddenly Batman found himself elsewhere, Park Row, he suddenly saw the silhouettes of his parents_

"_No...No...NOOO!"_

"_Gimme the money!"_

"_Alright man, be cool...be cool."_

"_The jewels, gimme the jewels!"_

"_Okay-okay, take it easy."_

"_We don't want any trouble."_

"_No trouble at all."_

"_Hurry up-Hurry up! Grr-Huury-[bang]"_

"_DAD!"_

"_THOMAS! -[bang]"_

"_MOMMY!" . . . "Mom...Dad...no-no...nooooo, why...why...WHYYYYYY!"_

_. . ._

"GASP! Pant...Pant...Pant..." Trent awoke panting, and in a cold sweat. "Oh, just a dream...just a...a horrible-horrible dream." he checked his clock, nearly 4 am. Trent looked out of his blinds, and saw the bright lights of the city skyline, but he also saw something bright. The Bat Signal. "

"Humph...no rest for the weary." Trent sighed.

Back to Nightwing vs Joker, the main event, and perhaps the reason why your reading this chap in the first place rather than some cliché dream sequence. Anyway Nightwing chased Joker back into Gotham City. /though it seemed as though, given his patterns, that Joker was deliberately leading him somewhere.

"Come on Joker, where are you taking me?" Nightwing whispered they sped along main street, where their paths crossed just hours earlier. "Well, this looks-"

"Familiar? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Joker laughed yelling from his car. "Let's have a little rematch from earlier today, except now, were even-aha-ha!"

"Give it up Joker! Whatever your plan is, your not getting away with it!"

"Oh, you'll see what I'm getting away with!"

"GRRR! Your of vague!"

"Oh sorry I don't think we've met, my names Joker and I like to JOKE!" he yelled

"Erg! I hate it when you do that!"

"Yeah well I hate superheroes who get in the way of all my evil schemes! How's that for hating!" [crash]"

Both cars ended up in the construction site Joker and Harley ended up in earlier. Joker looked out of his now totaled convertible to get his bearings.

"Oh perfect, just where I wanted to be...ha-ha-ha-ha!" he hastily grabbed a few things from the wreck and dashed into the incomplete building, with Nightwing on his tail.

Batman rode double time to the police station. Where Batgirl and Robin had already assembled themselves. Commissioner Gordon was also in the interrogation room, waiting for an answer from our favorite Clown girl ditz.

"...You know, could we get this over with fast, I kinda have to get finished with Mistah J's laundry. Oh-and then make his sandwich-oh I totally forgot." Harley slammed her head on the table.

"Focus Quinn!" Chris stammered "What of Nightwing?"

"Yeah we can't get a hold of him." Batgirl said almost to tears

"Where is he?" Robin reiterated

"Sorry, I-can't say anything until my attorney arrives." she said pouting.

"GRRR! Were running out of time!" Batgirl got right up in her face.

"Sorry, I got all the time in the world...sigh, thank you due process...this-this is part of due process, right?"

"ERG! Shes useless!" Chris complained

"Tell me about it."

"Were never going to get information out of her."

"No." Chris looked out the supposed 2-way mirror, what a cheapskate-and saw Batman right outside. "But I know someone who can...if were going to keep this up...I'm gonna need some coffee, coming guys?" Chris asked

"Sure." they exited the room. Harley sat there in handcuffs twiddling her thumbs.

. . .

"What do we got?" Batman asked

"Quinn." Chris answered

"...You called me up here for that?"

"Boss we have reason to beleive, Joker is after Nightwing..." Batman's face lit up as his dream came back

"We tried calling him, but were not getting an answer." Robin explained

"And we have reason to believe Quinn might know something."

"...I'm going in."

Batman entered the interrogation room, as intense as a raging fire.

"Oh, hey B-Man, fancy seeing you-yipe!" Batman angrily grabbed her by the collar "I'm gonna ask you this once and only once Quinn-WHERE'S NIGHTWING!"

"Aye-jeez not so loud-[slam]-ow." she found herself slammed against the wall.

"Where?" he sneered

"Sorry-big secret."

"Big mistake-and wring answer!" he got an underhook and tossed her

SLAM

"Care to play again?"

"Alright-alright-I'll talk!"

"Good girl."

"The truth is, I don't know where, Mistah J just stormed out, but if I had to guess I would think the old construction site from this evening-"

"Of course, cause Joker would want some sort of irony...especially if he can get a good laugh out of it."

"He's a genius."

"Right." Batman exited the room.

"Well?"

"The Construction site in Dawson Heights...but I'm going alone."

"But-"

"I said alone!" The Dark Knight exited the police station, leaving his back-up in the dust.

Nightwing had chased Joker to the roof. Catching his breath he saw Joker wield a Tommy Gun with a 50 round drum clip, Nightwing would have to suck it up and jump out of the way, all the equipment would provide for excellent cover.

"Hey Nightwing!"

"Aw-pant-pant-crap-pant."

"I'm cetain I'll owe Mr. Al Pacino a nickel or two for this-but...SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND! AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" he proceeded to shoot full auto. Nightwing was quick to find some cover behind a portable concrete mixer

"You can't win Joker!"

"Oh my poor deluded wannabe hero-everything is going according to plan."

"And that plan is what, exactly?"

"Oh-ho you'll see-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" he continued to fire, Nightwing tossed three Batarangs to cover his move to cover." this time he hid behind a freestanding concrete pillar attached with rebar and metal pylons.

"Give it up Night-Fake! Your a hack-[bang-bang-bang-bang]-a loser-[bang-bang-bang-bang]-a stupid kid trying to play hero with the good old Batman-ha-ha!" he emptied the clip as Nightwing ran for more cover tossing three more Batarangs. He reloaded, and looked for his bete noire.

"Ha, trying to psych me out? Well it won't work!" Nightwing yelled

"Oh give it up! Psychological warfare, really? Come on kid-I wrote the book on the subject!" he fired more, and Nightwing this time ran to a small forklift. "Face it Night-Loser! You're out of your league! -[bang-bang-bang-bang]-did you really think you could tango with the likes of me, alone? HA!" [bang-bang-bang-bang] "Your as cocky as a rookie ball player on the Red Socks going against a pennant game with the Yankees...And I know your not swinging for the fences...You and your attitude, you're all talk! Without Batman-you'd be nothing but a-useless kid! It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic...oh what the hell, I'll laugh anyway-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-huh? Oh no-[thud]" While laughing he didn't notice Nightwing jump from the lift, and give Joker a kick to the chops.

"NO ONE CALLS ME A LOSER JOKER! NOBODY!" by now the Clown Prince was on the floor, but in the skirmish he noticed something in his hand...Nightwing's mask. He dropped it. It didn't take long for the genius Joker to put 2 and 2 together.

"So...Geoff Grayson, eh?"

"Glad you know?"

"A little-actually yes, well that's enough fun for one evening-yes? Good. See ya around kid, perhaps we can do this again sometime?" Joker threw down a smoke pellet.

"Dammit! You know what...it's been a long evening, I'll deal with this tonight...I need sleep." He covered himself as the night turned to early morning, as he staggered to his car. Driving home.

Batman arrived on the roof minutes later, it didn't take long for him to find the cowl.

"Oh no."

Nightwing arrived home moments later. He yawned and undressed back into his street clothes, but before he could even walk up the stairs, came a knock on the front door.

"Ugh, six in the morning-[yawn]-Jehovah's are really playing hardball...I'm coming I'm coming, keep your shirt on. Don't worry Alfred I got it!" he called he opened the door half asleep

"Uh, Mr. Geoffrey Grayson?"

"You got him."

"Good-[BANG]"

"Ah..." as Geoff fell to his back from the gunshot, he saw Joker. "Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-you."

"Forget about me already Geoffy? Well I haven't forgot about you Night-Dead...but since i'm here, I guess I'll see myself in, hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

**To Be Continued...**

**End of Season 6**

**Alright guys, glad you enjoyed! I hope you're as excited for Season 7 as I am! We got some Gray Goblin, some Catwoman, a return of the Terrible Trio, with Tuck and the Exterminator, Some Ivy, some gnarly Harley, a little Two-Face, Riddler, Hatter, and all your favorites, for now PLEASE REVIEW! and stay tuned...! Yeah!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Nightwing

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Drew Nelson: **Duncan Napier/Joker

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Lindsey Quinzel/Harley Quinn

**Frank Welker: **Store Cashier, Additional Voices

**Kevin Conroy: **Thomas Wayne

**Grey DeLisle: **Martha Wayne

**Tara Strong: **young Trent Wayne

GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!


	136. Author's Note V

Preliminary Episode guide for Season 9

**SEASON 9**

**(1) Throw-Bat (Part II) The Gray Goblin, Nurse Pain, Micro Man, Kareem, The Shadow, Clean Freak, The Raven, Snakemaster- **Now aware that Night-Hacker, Batgirl, and Robin have been kidnapped, the Batmen go on a daring quest to search for them. This includes going over everyone's criminal file for some kind of clue. It's soon learned the sidekicks are being held up at the old Asylum on Ashnault Island just off the coast. The very same institution competing with Arkham that was eventually rundown due to lay-offs and government budget cuts. The heroes will now have to avoid both Snakmaster's plot as well as save the sidekicks. Thankfully, there is two of them. But can they return the shattered lives of the old villains? Well, I doubt it. [reference to Martin Scorsese's "Shutter Island"]

**(2) Flame In Your Heart (Story By Sparkling-Nexis137) Firefly- **Escapee Sierra Lynns is still convinced she can win her Cody-kins love. But as we all know she is sadly mistaken. On Valentines Day her latest plot she decides to use multiple rundown buildings in the rundown seedy Park Row district (though some buildings are still inhabited) to demolish in a fiery explosion, which in the air, will spell out "CODY I LOVE YOU" To make matters both worse and motherf*cking hilarious, she at every burn site places a card that reads "To my sweet little Robin: Cody. Since Trent Wayne finds himself canoodling with both Gwen and Heather at a mountain top resort in the Poconos, it's up to Cody, Sara, Mayor Hill, and Night-Hacker to save the day. [loosely tied to the episode: Appointment in Crime Ally]

**(3) Last Tuck Standing: The Terrible Trio, Tuck, Poison Ivy- **After a fight at the botanical gardens, Batgirl and Ivy end up knocked the f*ck out. They wake up, realizing their legs have been bound together. Tuck, and T-cubed, along with the Exterminator give them an ultimatum. Elude them in a hunters environment without being hunted. After finding their coordinates thanks to Night-Hacker, Batman is able to catch up and help stop the deadly hunting season. At the end, in a fit of rage Exterminator finally frees herself from the clutches or Tuck, by eliminating him. Marking her final act as a supervillain. Batgirl finally forgives her, as does Night-Hacker, and she becomes part of the Wayne family...sorta. [this marks the final appearance of Tucker Vanzetti]

**(4) The Creeper Strikes Back!: Riddler, The Gray Goblin, Killer Croc- **Jack Ryder (Jeff Bennett) better known as the crime fighting psycho guy, The Creeper believes he is wanted more in the city helping Batman and company fight crime, as he soon realizes his career as a news broadcaster is kinda boring. He hears a villain scheme from one of his fellow broadcasters and later decides to investigate. The Creeper is quick to discover it is none other than Riddler, Gray, and Croc up to their usual tricks. Batman joins in quickly and the two go across the city, trying to stop the villains from victory, with all the comedic madness that is sure to entail. Especially when he hears the shocking news about Gray (which by this point will come to no surprise to anyone else.)

**(5) **The Sting (Rewrite of P.O.V.): Rupert Thorne- ** A botched sting operation orchestrated by Commissioner Gordon and Co-Commissioner Mason (Rob Paulsen) leaves Detective Bullock, Montoya, and her rookie temp-partner Officer David Wilkes (David Kaufman) on unofficial trial by Internal Affair's Detective Lieutenant Richard Honnickel (Billy West). Each officer has their own little story of how the sting went down and how it was botched, of course every story involves Batman. Honnickel suspends the three after none of the stories add up. On her way home Courtney studies the clues she found at the crime scene, and she realizes what's going down. It's up to Montoya and Batman to stop the Kingpen Rupert Thorne's latest racket.

**(6) How I Met Your Brother: Jason T. Drake (one-shot) Hugo Strange- **Cody Drake gets some startling news...he has a brother. Jason Drake (James Arnold Taylor). So of course Trent agrees to be his guardian (with his house and income I wouldn't mind either) but Cody starts to become wary about the brother he never knew. His late nights, unexplainable alibis, and more. So he decides to follow his brother one evening only to discover, he is some new super villain known only as the Red Hood (Loren Lester). Cody, Sara, and Mayor Hill are quick to discover this is a plot by Hugo Strange, to get a shot at Batman. Cody is relieved to know that Jason is in fact his biological brother, but simply mind controlled. So they try to snap him out of it, and stop Strange's latest plot. [Jason remains a foil character for the remainder of the series]

**(7) Business Trip: Scarecrow, Mrs. Freeze- **Trent Wayne takes the family, along with Bridgette to a sunny resort in Maui, whist he is there on business to make a big business deal with big Metropolis Business Industrialist Lex Luthor (Clancy Brown) While there Trent is constantly interrupted by Mrs. Freeze and Scarecrow, having a "Takeover-the island" Turf War against the hotel and the waterfront. Everyone seems to get involved. Trent, with the help of Mayor Hill and company will have to keep the villains at bay, and keep Luthor interested in the big business deal-all the while, not exposing himself or his cavalry. Especially after Lex, being so nosy asks so many questions. Can he stop the villains, make the deal, and keep his identity safe? Not even I know!

**(8) Joker Must Die! (Part I): Harley Quinn, Joker, Poison Ivy- **(This episode begins In Medias Res): Ivy opens the door to her lair to see a broken and sad Harley with two suitcases at her sides, this can only mean one thing. Harley explains that A failed Joker robbery leaves Joker fuming at his her. Even though she did everything right and the botched job was all Joker's fault in the first place. Harley trying to calm him down talks marriage and how happy they can be by starting a family, though still angry Joker wants no part of it. So he threw Harley out again. Ivy, wanting her friend to have a happier life offers her an ultimatum. A special plant with toxins she stole from Hugo Strange, the elixir can totally turn a person pure evil. Reluctant Harley drinks this, and suddenly becomes mad with rage wanting to destroy Joker. She makes out her plot to destroy the psychopath once and for all.

**(9) Joker Must Die! (Part II): Harley Quinn, Joker, Poison Ivy, some others- **Batman is informed that several storefronts were robbed by Harley efficiently in the past several days. Batgirl finds the psycho girl plotting to eliminate her former love interest, even if the whole city must burn with him. She concocts a fiendish plan, SOOO good, it could envy any villain in the world. Surprising because this is Lindsey were talking about. Batman and Night-Hacker are quick to learn that this was Poison Ivy's Handiwork, and pay her a visit, after nearly being eaten to death by her plants, she tells them that it was Hugo Strange's vile in the first place, shes just using it. So after she is taken care of, The two embark on a journey to see Hugo Strange, where it is rumored he has escaped to his mountain cottage in the Bavarian Alps. While Batgirl, Robin, Sara, and Mayor Hill must stop the psycho Harley.

**(10) Joker Must Die! (Part III): Harley Quinn, Ra's Al Ghul, Hugo Strange, Nurse Pain, Joker- **With helpful information from Ra's Al Ghul (who doesn't care for both Hugo and Harley all that much) the two find Strange's cottage manor near the sleepy German community of Dachau. After searching Strange's place it is clear he is not at home. They search the place to find shocking secrets about the doctor. When he returns, after a brief skirmish, he is grilled for all the info he knows, but mysteriously vanishes after he gives the two the antidote. Back at Gotham Harley puts her deadly plot into action to finally rid the world of Joker. (Which most people really wouldn't mind if it didn't mean they might die as well.) After storming police HQ, where Joker is being held, Harley, who has nearly everyone subdued but Joker, is stopped by the one person who can help her. No it's not Batman, no it's not the antidote, it's Harleen. Her sister is the only hope for the crazy clown girl, who finally snaps out of it. Harl claims she was just returning the favor, but there is more to it than that. The episode ends with Batman and Night-Hacker returning from Germany...only to realize they were a day late and a Harley short.

Alright guys, remember comments and **REVIEWS! **Are always welcome, I will update the next few chapters in the upcoming days I am just too tired tonight. And I plan to debut this season in early April or late March. PEACE! And all that stuff


	137. The Killing Joke, Part III

**Villain: Joker**

**Episode Archive: ORIGINAL!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Dan Riba&Frank Paur**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 67: The Killing Joke (Part II)**

Batman wasted no time in returning home from the construction site. No sooner did he enter the Bat-Cave via Batmobile when he realized something was amiss. He could smell it in the air.

"...sniff-sniff...Joker." he uttered teeth a-grind. "GEOFF! GEOFFFF! ALFRED! ALFREEEED!" Batman sprinted up the stairs, three, maybe four at a time, the clock secret door opened, Batman was shocked at what he saw. Graffiti painted all over the walls, many books, pictures and all that scattered around, Most of the wall writing were mostly HA-HA'S and JOKER WAS HERE. Clearly he wasn't in the Bat-Cave but, that did not put Batman's mind at ease one bit, he had other worries in mind. He started to run about the house. Frantically looking for his ward, and his butler...cause let's face it this place is a mess.

"Geoff...Alfred...GEOFF!" He dashed through the rooms. "GEOFF! . . . ALFRED!" He ran down the stairs, to the landing above the living room. "GEOFF! ALFRED!" Batman tore his cape and cowl off. He was going crazy looking for the two. "Oh God no, please God no...GEOFFFF! ALFREDDDD! GEOFFFFFF! ALFREEEEEEED!" Trent could hear all the ha-ha's go off in his brain. He twirled around in the living room. "Noooo! NOOOOO! GEOFFF! ALFREDD!" Suddenly he heard the sound of staggering oxford shoes from the kitchen, out stepped-"

"Alfred!" Trent ran over to his wounded butler's aid.

"Sir...Sir..."

"It's alright Alfred, I'm gonna help ya!" He grabbed Alfred and laid him on the kitchen table.

Alfred was bleeding from the mouth, he had a knife wound on his left shoulder, it looked as though it was getting infected.

"Please sir, I'm...I'm perfectly fine."

"Yeah, if you weren't 72 years old-Alfred, you have an infected knife wound, it looks like you've lost over a pint of blood!"

"Sir really, I'll be fine-cough-cough!"

"You will soon, just hang on Alfred, stay with me!" Trent got a quick shot of morphine from his utility-bat. "Alright Alfred, this will kill some of the pain-[stick]"

"Erg...it's alright sir-I-I-I-I can hardly feel anything."

"That's cause your going into shock." Trent quickly found the field surgeon's pack he keeps in the pantry. For this very contingency

"Sir...r-really."

"Just stay with me Alfred...where's Geoff?"

"I-I-I"

"Alfred stay with me dammit, don't black out on me, WHERE-IS-GEOFF!"

"I'm-I'm-I'm...I'm not sure...I-I-I heard a pop...then a thud...then-then I came downstairs and I...I saw Him..."

"Him, who?" Trent asked getting an alcohol swab ready. As if he didn't know

"Really sir..you're...you're kidding right?" Alfred said weakly

"Just making sure."

"I'm not sure where Master Geoffrey is...But wherever he is...I'm sure...I'm sure he did his best."

"I think Joker kidnapped him." Trent said dressing Alfred's wound. "Once I get you to the hospital I'll start looking right away." Trent re-cowled himself. Batman grabbed the wounded butler, and the two staggered slowly towards the still open front door.

"I think he really did it this time sir." Alfred said regaining some strength back.

"Oh yeah, I think he may know Geoff's identity."

"Well sure, how else would he have known to hit this place, can't be that convenient...right?"

"Right, but clearly he only knows Geoff's identity, otherwise, he most likely would have destroyed the Bat-Cave too."

"Well, that's one good thing out of this."

"Yeah, and the sooner we find Geoff the be-GASP!" Trent stopped dead in his tracks. There, at the foot of the door, was a bleeding Geoff, still clinging to life. Barely.

"GEOFF!" Trent and Alfred dropped to the floor, Geoff used his shakey right hand to feel for Trent.

"Treeeeeeent."

"Geoff I'm right here, what hurts!"

"Every-where...J-Joker...can't...move...legs...Treeeeeeent."

"Dear God." Alfred whispered in shock.

"COME ON! WE GOTTA GET TO THE HOSPITAL! NOW!"

**-The Next Day-**

Trent walked down the hall towards Alfred's and Geoff's room, as both were still recovering. Dr. Leslie Tomkins just walked out from the room, closing the door. Her usual expression on her face.

"Les?"

"Trent, huh, I hardly recognize you without the cape and cowl and some sort of injury to report." she said quietly for some comic relief.

"How are they doing?"

"Well, you want the good news or the bad?"

"I'll take good."

"Good news, both will recover, lucky you got there in time to act though. Alfred's wound was actually not infected all, but it could have been. He'll be up and butling in a matter of a few days."

"...And Geoff?" Trent asked with a little disdain

"Sigh, come in." she took Trent inside the hospital room Geoff and Alfred shared.

Alfred was on one of them old-person life support system things, Geoff, was napping, his lower abdomen taped, Bridgette was at his bedside. Sobbing...

"That's the bad news." Leslie closed the door behind her. "Here." she put Geoff's X-rays on a light board on the wall. "Joker's bullet ruptured the discs in Geoff's lower back here...and here, completely cutting off any blood or spinal flow to anywhere below the waist and buttocks region."

"Uh, English Les?" Trent asked

"Trent...Sigh, I don't know how to tell you this...Geoff's paralyzed from the start of his legs, down." Bridgette looked up, still sobbing.

"Les...you mean." she choked up

"I'm sorry Bridgette...he'll never walk again."

"Noooooooo! Dammit!" she sobbed right into her sleepy paralyzed boyfriend's chest.

Trent's eyes narrowed, he heard Joker's maniacal laughter in his head...the gunshot...his parents...Geoff, suddenly-

"Grrrrrrrr-[slam]" he punched a hole in the wall. He pulled his fist out, his black blazer and fist covered in drywall. "Owwwwww-why did I do that, ow-ow-ow-ow-...ow." he shook the pain off his fist.

"Trent, I'm sorry."

"Thank you, but not as sorry as Joker's gonna be." he turned to Leslie "When do you want Geoff out?"

"Not for a week or so, I need to run some more tests."

"And Alfred."

"Hmm, he can leave now, if he wants."

"Oh and not a moment too soon." Alfred sat up and took the life support off himself. "Not that I don't appreciate your service Leslie, but I dread hospitals, the food stinks, the TV gets horrid channels, and I'm bored as hell." he stood up.

"Yup, Alfred's back." Trent managed to make a quarter smile through the tears and dread. "Come on buddy, let's get you home."

"Now Trent, pay close attention, I want Alfred on rest, no cleaning, no dusting, no butling for the next four days, I want plenty of bed rest, and physical therapy on that arm." Leslie warned

"No problem." he turned to Bridgette. "Cave-9 o'clock."

"I'll be there." she said weakly.

"Alright, let's go Alfred."

Back at Wayne Manor, Alfred was laying in bed, quite reluctantly, Trent was in his night business suit, minus one cowl. He read Alfred the rules.

"Okay, you heard Leslie, under no circumstances are you to do anything that resembles butling. You don't want that arm of yours to be operated on, right?"

"After battling through Vietnam, and whatever the Russian Intelligence could throw at me, I highly doubt an-"

"Alfreeeeed." Trent said getting serious.

"Fine, I stay in bed, and watch me Plasma screen TV, for four days."

"That's the spirit." Trent approached the door. "I'll keep Cody around to get you whatever it is you need, don't be afraid to ask."

"Really sir I can get whatver I need myself-"

"Alfreeeeeed."

"Ugh, fine."

Cody was at the foot of the doorway. Trent turned to him just before walking down the hall

"Bridgette and I are going to give Joker what's coming to him."

"Got it."

"Get Alfred whatever he needs, when he asks for it."

"Got it."

"And Cody, under NO circumstances are you allowed to let him leave his room, understand?"

"Got it."

"Good, perhaps Sara could HELP YOU!"

"Whoa-whoa-whoa-[crash-thud]" Sara Rhinehart fell out of the vent duct above.

"Uh-cough-cough-yup, vents work fine." she said innocently.

"Don't gimme that crap, just you both make sure Alfred stays in bed, got it?"

"Got it." the couple said in unison.

"Good."

"Wait Trent." Sara said

"Yes."

"H-how...hoe are you going to avenge Geoff exactly?"

"Simple." he turned to them "The only way I know how." Trent cowled up and headed for the study.

Inside the Bat-Cave, Batgirl was already waiting at the Bat-Computer.

"You ready?" she asked more serious then him

"When aren't I?" the two hopped into the Batmobile. Batman closed the top. "Alright, I'm just as pissed off about this as you, maybe even more so..."

"Okay." she nodded

"But by no means are you going to go against what you believe in...what we train for...why we do what we do."

"Oh, please Trent don't go all monlogue-y on me."

"I'm not just listen! No one wants Joker dead more than me, but even though he did the unthinkable to Geoff and Alfred...we can't go about killing him...lea us not into temptation, just because he sent two of ours to the hospital we are not sending him to the morgue...no matter how tempting it is."

"Sigh...okay."

"You good?"

"Yeah."

"Great, let's role." the Batmobile sped out of the Bat-Cave in search of Joker.

"I went back to Arkham to check up on Harley, apparently Joker is using the old Funnibone shipping company warehouse as a hideout."

"That's no surprise...and Quinn just gave you that info...just like that."

"Well it took some persuasion..."

...**-2 hours earlier-**...

_...[SLAM]_

"_GCK-GCK-GCK!" Lindsey choked as Batgirl got her hands around her throat_

"_WHERE. IS. HE. QUINN?"_

"_W-W-W-W-Who?"_

"_You know who you crazy little bitch! Where's Joker!"_

"_I don't...know..."_

"_Wrong answer-[THWACK]"_

"_OW!"_

"_I'll ask you only one more time...Joker...WHERE?"_

"_Alright-alright-Funnibone shipping company it's our latest hideout."_

"_Good." she exited the cell and turned to Dr. Leland "See to her, she looks a little...under the weather."_

…

"You broke her jaw?"

"She was resisting!"

"Whatever, I'm too angry to argue, just be cool, understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Good."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**And go Youtube Epic Meal Time! Why? Cause it's epic-THAT'S WHY! It's the best damn Canadian thing since...since...well since Total Drama!**

**PEACE! WORD TO YO GOONS!  
**


	138. The Killing Joke, Part IV

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Batman and Batgirl arrived at the Funnibone shipping company warehouse, of course, you know who already knew they would be there.

"Ah, company? And I haven't had the time to tidy up the place-oh well, I'm sure my guests will make themselves feel right at home-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

Batgirl and Batman exited the safety of the Batmobile, poised to make an attack.

"So, one of him, two of us." she said with venom in her voice.

"Take the front, I'll take the roof. He would expect the other way around, this should confuse him." Batman explained with his business-as-usual voice.

"Right."

"And Bridgette remember-"

"Yeah-yeah I know, nothing stupid-"

"Don't yeah-yeah me Batgirl this is serious!"

"Okay, okay...I get it."

"Good." the caped crusader fired a bat hook at the roof, and flew towards the top.

But Batgirl had other means of getting her comeuppance with Joker. She was slowly losing her grip. And with no Batman to help, instinct, and ambition took over.

"I'm sorry Trent." she whispered "But I can't let Joker walk...not this time."

Over at Gotham Central Hospital, Geoff Grayson was waking up from his nap. Just as Dr. Tomkins entered with a metal tray, with stuff on it.

"Oh goody, you're awake."

"Unh...hey Les."

"I got some more ibuprofen for you."

"Oh joy." Geoff uttered dryly.

"Now I know you hate hearing this, but I have to explain to you-"

"I get it Les, I can't walk anymore."

"Well walking no, but your hips can still move."

"And? What does that-oooooooooh, nice; well I'm sure Bridge will appreciate that." Boner-soup

"They were all here today while you were napping."

"Oh...man I must have been out of it." Geoff rubbed his eyes. Then turned to see an empty bed "Hey, where's Alfred?"

"Back home, hopefully, Trent signed him out before he left upon Alfred's request."

"Oh, alright..."

"Now Geoff, I think it's imperative you learn to cope with paraplegia sooner rather than later." Leslie pushed over a wheel-chair, Geoff looked at it, then back at her completely unimpressed "That's it?"

"What do you mean-that's it?"

"I mean, it's just a wheel chair like any other..."

"Aaaaaaaaaand?" the doctor asked

"And I want a cool looking wheel chair, something that screams-fear me, though I have no control of my legs."

"Well you can have one costumed made I suppose."

"Great!" That was all the motivation Geoff needed to hop into the bland wheel chair.

"Alright, just start rolling to get yourself acclimated to the chair." Leslie suggested

"Check."

Back at Joker's lair, Batgirl had already entered through the front door. She had first noticed the huge pile of boxes everywhere she looked, after all this was a shipping warehouse. She looked over hill and dale to find the one who caused Geoff so much pain.

Back on the roof, Batman was looking through the skylights, trying to see if he could find Joker, he couldn't.

"No way he disappeared...where could he go?" The Dark Knight thought to himself. Suddenly looking below, he noticed, the lights faded. "Oh no, gotta stop him before that psychopath gets Bridgette too!" He tried to open the skylights. No avail "Crap." he aimed a bat hook at the window, which only cracked it slightly and totaled the hook mechanism "With ballistics tempered glass...clever little bastard." Batman groaned.

Batgirl also noticed the lights fade, the whole warehouse was completely dark. She simply gritted her teeth and looked around for the world's favorite psychotic clown criminal.

"You know were here Joker! And you know why!"

"AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Joker cackled from out of nowhere "What? For popping Grayson at his doorway, knifing his dumb little butler and making some art in Trent Wayne's Mansion? I call that a good afternoons work-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

"You're insane you know that?"

"Oh I know! Always knew and I will always know forever. I know Geoff is the Nightwing...well now he's more like the Dead-Wing." he chuckled

"GRRRR! SHUT-UP!"

"And, wait a minute...putting 2 and 2 together here...if, he is Nightwing, and I know you're both dating, that should make you...Bridgette Gordon, am I right, or am I right? Aha!"

"Grr...no comment."

"So then I am right-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah! Tell me something Bridge...when you saw your little Geoffy poo on that hospital bed...did you cry? Or did he?"

"STOP TALKING!" she yelled

"Um-nope-nope-nope-nope-don't want to."

"You wait...just you wait Joker-I don't care about my damn morals anymore! You're going down!"

"Yawn...like I'm scared of a little girl in a Halloween costume playing masked hero. Cause now that I know who you are, it kind of makes our game seem...of how should I put this-lackluster. The same way I felt when I discovered Nightwing's identity...Oh, this'll put you over the edge...when I shot him, he screamed like a little girl-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

That did it. Batgirl lost it. She found herself at the foot of a staircase, and Joker was at the top of it. She lunged

"AHA-HA-HA-HA-huh?-[THUD]" she threw him to the ground, pinning him against the floor, she took out a Batarang.

"That does it! I'm gonna make sure you never ruin another life again!" Joker only smirked

"Go ahead...lose all your moral value, kill me...go on, strike me down...use every bit of anger you have Gordon, but at least when I'm gone, I'll have the satisfaction of knowing you will be ruined as well, so even in death I'm ruining lives-Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh it's good to be me! So go on, don't hold back." Joker lifted his neck. Bridgette took out her forget-me-bat spray

"This will make sure you shut up about Geoff!" She sprayed him.

"Hey, what the...huh? Batgirl...oh, right this was for me shooting your little buddy Nightwing, right?"

"Yup." she smirked evilly.

"Good, well then, far be it for me to stop you, come on, a good slit of the throat, right here, don't hold back."

"No...not here...I wanna go to the very place your fight went down...I'll find closure." she activated her transformable bat glider. And grabbed onto Joker. "Hang on bitch." she rocketed her way forward. Towards the nearest skylight above.

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-huh? Oh no-CRASH" suddenly the two rocketed through the supposed bullet proof glass, as Batman was trying to sadder his way through the stuff.

"Unbeliveable." the Dark Knight groaned, as he looked at the flying duo. "I think I know where they're headed, I only hope I'm not too late." he jumped into the Batmobile "For Bridgette's sake, not Joker's that is."

Leslie had taken Geoff Home. She knocked at the door.

"I think getting used to the chair in your own environment will make everything go so much easier." she suggested.

"Great." she knocked at the door. Low and behold, Sara answered it

"Sara what are you doing here?" Geoff asked with a frown

"Helping taking care of Alfred."

"Oh right." Leslie pushed him in. "Where's Trent?"

"Out trying to apprehend Joker with Bridgette."

"Oh no." Geoff realized.

"What's oh no?" Leslie asked

"Bridgette, I know from this experience shes hungry for revenge, a little too hungry if you ask me, she'll kill him, and once she realizes she does, she'll forgive herself." Geoff rolled to the secret elevator that led to the Bat-Cave. "If I can tap into her communicator, maybe I can knock some sense into her." he rolled as fast as he could to the Bat-Computer.

"Are you sure?" Leslie asked

"Believe me Les, I know Bridgette."

Speaking of Bridgette, she and Joker ended up doing a nose dive at the building from where Geoff and Joker fought a few nights ago.

THUD

"Whoa-whoa-ho-ho-oh." Joker danced around in pain, suddenly Joker was tackled by Batgirl

"That does it! I can't let you get away! Never again!" she kicked him in the face.

"Gah! Why you miserable little-[THWACK]"

"AH!" Joker bitch slapped her to the ground. Batgirl's next response was a dual kick to the gut, which helped her get up.

"Unh!" Joker fell into a pile of pylons "Oh, you're gonna pay for that!" he took out his switchblade "Hmm-hmm-hmm-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" he lunged, Batgirl simply kicked the knife out of his hand

"Had enough life killer!"

"Technically, I paralyzed him I never-[WHACK]" "OW!" Joker finally drew his pistol "That's it, I'm through messing around, I'm gonna kill you! Then, I'll find him again, and finish, what I started! AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" in the midst of his laughing, Batgirl was able to grab the gun right from unde rhim, she backed away so as to not give him the chance

"Huh...clever girl." Joker smirked "You little stinker-"

"SHOVE IT!"

Batman drove up to the building, and saw the shadows of the two on the roof.

"Oh no." Batman went wide-eyed for a sec.

"Now Batgirl, l-let's be reasonable-"

"Oh, it's different when the gun's on the other foot, is it?"

"Well...-"

"IS IT!"

"Okay, yes, it is, you win, happy now?"

"No, not til I know you're g-[thack]" a Batarang knocked the gun from Bridgette's hands

"Once again Bats your timing is on the mark!" Joker smiled suddenly Batgirl grabbed Joker and put a Batarang to his neck.

"Batgirl! Stand Down!" he ordered

"NEVER! Not until I know swine like Joker are done away with forever! I'm not doing this for me! I'm doing this for-"

"_Batgirl!"_

"N-Nightwing?"

"_I can hear what you're saying...look revenge is not the answer...member when I had Sara dead in my sights and you stopped me...well...you need to do it here...if you kill him, you'll never forgive yourself, please do it baby...for me." _

"You know...he's...gotta point." Joker gasped for air. Batgirl dropped her head, then dropped Joker to the floor. She apprehended him, the right way."

"Okay...for you."

Back at the cave, everyone-Geoff-Leslie, Sara ,Cody, and Alfred all cheered

"Good job." Geoff smirked

Batman drove Batgirl back to the Bat-Cave.

"He's right you know." Batman told her

"Yeah...sorry though, I don't know what came over me...I guess I did just so over come with revenge I wasn't thinking, I didn't know what to do."

"I'm...sure you did your best."

"Sigh...same old Batman." she smiled

"And now that Geoff will not be accompanying us on missions anymore, this will be a great opportunity to have someone helping us behind the scenes for a change."

"Yeah, it'll be nice...and if Geoff can live with it...then so can I."

"Atta girl."

**THE END!**

**Alright guys, glad you enjoyed, LOT'S of comedy up next, with our TDB rendition/parody of Ferris Beuller's Day Off, featuring your number 1 Joker inspired, money obsessed Industrialist The Gray Goblin. So enjoy, REVIEW, and all that such!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Drew Nelson: **Duncan Napier/Joker

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Rhinehart

**Kath Soucie: **Dr. Leslie Tomkins

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Lindsey Quinzel/Harley Quinn


	139. Ferris Boyle's Day Off, Part I

**Villain: The Gray Goblin, Nurse Pain**

**Title Archive: (Ferris Bueller's Day Off, 1986)**

**Directed By: John Hughes**

**. . . . . . .**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri**

**Teleplay By: Michael Reaves**

**Art Direction: Chris Tucker&Eric Radomski**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 68: Ferris Boyle's Day Off**

"What! This-this can't be!" Ferris Boyle screamed from the infirmary at Arkham.

"I'm sorry Mr. Boyle I don't know what to tell you, but it seems from these tests, you do in fact have stage 4 liver cancer." Dr. Bartholomew explained as only a doctor dealing with psycho's can.

"You insolent moron! You call yourself a doctor! How can I have stage 4 liver cancer! I haven't had a drink in months thanks to this place!" Ferris boomed

"Well the tests don't lie." or do they... "I'm afraid Ferris...you have about 24 hours to live-oh I wish there was some other w-"

"Wait! Hold the phone there Doc-you mean to tell me that in a days time I will not be of this world?"

"Well...yeah, Look Ferris I know this is so much to take in but-"

"Oh you bet! 24 hours, and when it's all done, I don't have to suffer any consequences! AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Ferris jumped from the table.

"I don't like where this is going." Bartholomew sighed

"Oh, you won't-[stomp]"

"OW!" Boyle stomped right on his foot.

"Wow, that looked like it really hurt...here, lemme make it hurt more!" Boyle grabbed a syringe from the table filled with some sort of...stuff. "Whatcha make of this Doc?"

"Careful Boyle! That's a sedative, one hit and you're out for hours!" that's all he needed to hear

"Really? Well then Doc, pleasant dreams-[stick]"

"Gch-ach-unh." Boyle plunged the syringe into Bartholomew's chest, knocking him out instantly.

"Well, if I'm going to enjoy my last day here on this world, better make it count-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

Boyle dashed out of the infirmary, and through the halls of Arkham. Now he'll aside to the audience

"Ah, like my fellow life-liver Ferris Bueller did before me, here's to properly enjoy my day off! My way-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" He came to Harleen who was doing some sweeping about the hall.

"Woooooo-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Hiya Harl!"

"Oh, hey there Mistah-mhmnmhmmnhmnmmhmnmhm." he got her in a dip and did some face suckin' … "Guess what?"

"Huh-huh-hu-wha?" yup, shes hooked

"I'm dieing!"

"WHAT?"

"Yup, stage 4 liver cancer!"

"No! You can't be dieing Mistah G! We were just getting to know each other!"

"Yeah, that's life isn't! Well, I best get going, I only have 23 or so hours to enjoy what's left of my life-toodles!"

"No wait!" Harleen grabbed onto him

"Huh?"

"Take me with you!"

"Oh, your sweet Harl you know that, but; this is a solo endeavor and..." FREEZE! Suddenly Ferris thought...

. . .

"What are you doing? Take her with you...shes crazy for you...odds are, you'll get lucky.

. . .

"Y-you know what Harl-of course you can come with me."

"Really!"

"Sure-"

"Freeze!"

"There he is, there's Boyle!"

"Oops, come on, gotta jet!" he grabbed Harleen by the hand and the two sprinted towards the officers

"Wait-wait, you wanna run toward the guys running at us?"

"Of course! That's the only way to do it, right?"

"Uh...well-NO!"

"Well it's how I do things! Hold on Harl!" Boyle tackled the two guards to the ground, all while holding onto Harleen's hand "YES! What a rush! Come on, come on! Were wasting the day away!"

In the Bat-Cave, Geoff was trying out his new chair, courtesy of Lucius and Trent. So many cool things were incorporated into that chair.

"Whoa...this thing's pretty cool."

"Yup, everything you need and then some." Lucius simply smiled

"You'll like this thing Geoff, Lucius and I made sure everything was perfect." Trent added

"It's got everything, cup holders, turbo speed, alloy wheels, wi-fi, this thing is smarter than some M.I.T. Students, and...it even flies." Lucius said proudly.

"It flies?"

"It glides."

"Sweet."

"Uh, Master Trent I have the police scanner on stand-by, and there's something you need to hear." Alfred interrupted

"What is it Alfred?"

"Well I can assure you it's not good news." Trent put it on speaker

"_Attention, break-out Arkham Asyum, suspects Ferris Boyle and Harleen Quinzel were seen heading towards the city, suspects proceeded to be armed and dangerous."_

"Oh joy." Trent groaned. He marched over to the wardrobe which held the Bat Suit.

"Problem Mr. Wayne?" Lucius asked

"The usual problems Lucius, I'm certain I can handle it." Trent suited up "It's just Gray and Pain..."

"Good luck buddy."

"Yeah, thanks." Batman headed for the Bat-Cycle. "I'm sure I'll need it." he sped out of the cave.

"Well, he'll need some help." Geoff sighed, and rolled towards the computer.

"Oh, I'm certain he'll appreciate it." Lucius smirked

Back just yards from the city limits Ferris and Harleen were looking for some wheels.

"Ooh, how bout that one?" she pointed to a passing Corvette

"Nah, single driver, I want the kind of car that has a family with four kids."

"Why?"

"Cause it's funny that's why-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" he noticed Harl shrug a little "Aw come on Harl, it's funny! When someone makes a funny, you laugh, right?"

"Uh, yeah-ha-ha-haha." she chuckled sheepishly "Oh look, Suburban...f-family of five...oh, it's a birthday." she noticed one of the young passengers had a birthday balloon and a birthday crown.

"Ah yes, I love messing things up." he asides to the camera "Now remember kiddies, when hijacking a car, it's imperative to make yourself known to the driver and the passengers. Like so!" Ferris jumped in front of the car, fortunately...sorta, the car had decent breaks, and stopped just in time. Boyle sprinted to the side of the car. "GET OUT! ALL OF YOU!" he ordered

"EEK!"

"Oh my God!"

"The Gray Goblin!

"That's right, out of the car! Hurry up!" Ferris ordered everyone out, they eventually complied. Harleen reluctantly got in the passengers seat "Speed it up Harl! I'm dieing!"

"Yes sir!" she turned to the little girl, whose birthday was hers "Look I'm really sorry-um, happy birthday-"

[BEEP-BEEP]-TODAY HARL!"

"Yes sir Mistah G!" she hopped in, and Ferris sped up, laughing all the ay into the city of Gotham.

Batman was driving through not far from that area when Geoff gave him a call.

"_Trent?"_

"Geoff? What is it?"

"_I'm on the scanner, the Rodriguez family just reported their beige Chevrolet Suburban stolen...guess who?"_

"Boyle and Quinzel?"

"_Yup, they were last spotted on 123rd street heading west."_

"That's...right by me-[verooooooooom]" from the crossroads up ahead Batman saw the Suburban drive by, with Boyle laughing all the way. "Found em."

"_I'll keep tailing them from the monitors."_

"Good, keep on it, Batman out!" Batman turned the corner to see the carnage from the streets "Sweet Mother of God."

Everything was in shambles. In seconds Gray managed to drive over street signs, bus benches, tear through sidewalks, the sides of buildings, destroyed street lights...all in just a few seconds. Batman followed the carnage closely "Hey Geoff?"

"_Yeah?"_

"Can you possibly find why Nurse Pain and or Gray Goblin have some sudden reckless vendetta against the city?"

"_Well that could mean any number of things my man, but I'll look into it with Dr. Bartholomew and Dr. Leland."_

"Good. Cause whatever they're doing...no good is coming of it." Batman sped up. Suddenly the nearly wrecked SUV was drawing closer when it made a turn. The duo was able to drive by the police impound to pick up their costumes, among a few other goodies.

"Uh, Mistah G." Nurse Pain pointed to her sideview mirror

"Grr-Bats in our Belfry-oh well, better to go off with a bang, right? Nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" Gray started to drive even more reckless then before, weaving in and out of traffic like a Californian teenager riding a motorcycle during rush hour. Pain covered up her eyes.

"Oh relax, will ya Harl, I'm an excellent driver...at least that's what my chauffeur always told me." Gray pondered

"Oh jeez!"

"Stop your belly aching, we'll be fine!" suddenly, he noticed Batman was using a spike gun from the Bat-Cycle to try and pop the tires.

"Oh boy."

"Grrrrrr! Pop my tires will you!"

"Actually they're the Rodriguez's tires-"

"I don't give a flying crap whose they are! In a matter of hours it's not my problem anyway! So, if old Batzy wants the car so badly-well then by gum let's give it to him!" Gray turned down an ally way which had a dead end wall at the end

"Oh no-no-no-no-no-Mistah G! What are you doing?"

"You'll see Harl!"

"The hell is that psycho doing?" Batman asked following the carnage

"Oh, just...just...just tell me when it's over." Pain covered her eyes.

"Just you wait Harl...in 3...2...1...-lift off-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" [CRASSSSSSSH]

"WHOA!" Batman saw the huge SUV crash right into the wall. Batman pulled a slide under, to slow himself down, on;y to hit the truck, and send himself flying into the wall...he looked up to see Gray and Pain on Gray's purple wing.

"My-my-tsk-tsk-tsk, I certainly hope the Rodriguez's have insurance, cause that's going to leave some awful damage. As for you Batzy, catch me if you can! My times almost up! So you better hurry! Come along my dear, lets go sample some of the city's wears, shall we?"

"Okay Mistah G!"

"Great, slpendid...ta-ta Bats! I'll be seeing you-oh wait, no I won't-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" they flew away. Batman simply slammed his head on the roof of the truck.

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW! **


	140. Ferris Boyle's Day Off, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"_Batman...Batman...BATMAN!" Geoff called over the radio_

"Ugh, go." Batman groaned trying to regain some strength back.

"_You alright?"_

"You know me." He stood up on the street and stretched "No better, no worse."

"_Glad to hear that."_

"Did you look upon the information we needed to know about Boyle?"

"_Yup, I checked his medical records, turns out, he's been been diagnosed with stage four liver cancer."_

"You're kidding?" Batman asked in disbelief.

"_Nope, he has less than a day to live."_

"That explains why he said his time was almost up. Alright thanks Geoff, now that Boyle thinks he's dieing, he will do whatever he wants."

"_Which is a deadly combination."_

"I know, I gotta stop him before he does something really stupid, do you have a lock on his location?" Batman asked

"_Uh, nope, not yet."_

"Humph, oh well, I'm sure if I just follow the carnage, I'll find Boyle."

"_Probably, best of luck to ya."_

"Yeah...lotta good that'll do me." end transmission. Batman picked up his bike, and headed out of the ally way "Alright Boyle, where are you hiding?" he looked to his right, and saw a war-zone in front of him. "I'm sure it's a safe bet he's that-a way." Batman sped towards the right, on the hunt for the devil-may-care psychopath.

Gray and Pain found themselves in a dive bar in Midtown, Gray ordered, cocky as ever

"A drink? But it's only 2 in the afternoon Mistah G."

"Yeah, but cliché as it may be, it's five o'clock somewhere-nah-hah-hah-hah-Barkeep! Scotch me! On the rocks! And I mean ice! And uh...something fruity and Caribbean looking for my girl here."

"Uh, more specific please?"

"I dunno something a homosexual would order!" No offense to anyone, we here at niko56 studios do not discriminate our readers in any way, shape, or form, all satire is for comedic purposes only. Please read responsibly

"Sir I find that very offensive-"

"I find that very-blah-blah-blah-less talky-more drinky, comprende?" Gray mocked...Isn't he charming.

"Heh-heh-heh-heh, you called me your girl." Pain blushed

"And your very sweet." Gray cupped her chin and gave her a quick kiss "You know Harl, if I wasn't about to kick the bucket in a matter of hours, I would seriously consider taking a relationship into account-"

"You would!"

"Well sure! I mean your sexy, and your sweet...your sexy...you have nice eyes...your sexy...Oh your pigtails remind me of two luscious hay bales floating in the breeze."

"Ah, Mistah G you're so...Zzzzzzzzzzzz." she fell asleep

"Huh...Harl...[snap-snap-snap]-Harl...oh wait I forgot you have narcolepsy, oh well...even that has it's benefits." the bartender slid their drinks over to them. "Thank you sir-"

"Yeah-yeah."

"Huh-what...yay drinks." Harley slurped down her pinkish concoction, Gray watched her lovingly and knocked down his scotch.

"Yum, reminds me of the beach."

"And the scotch reminds me of my childhood-barkeep, 'nother round on the double!"

"Wait a sec, I thought you had liver cancer?" Pain asked

"I do! But in a matter of hours, it won't matter anyway, watch-say, bartender?"

"What?"

"Next round goes to everyone in the bar, on old Ferris Boyle!" he threw some money at the bartender, then at the patrons

"Ah, get some money! Lots of money here!"

"HORAY!" the bar cheered...all 5 of them...were still at lonely daytime drunk time.

Well it didn't take long for Gray's drinks to pile up, in no time, he was more drunk than your average Patriots fan after the Super Bowl...remember, comedic purposes only, read responsibly, go Giants!

"Uh...don't you think you've had enough?" Pain asked

"Well-I'll-well I'll-show...you, when I've..I've...Uh, I've...uh, [snap-snap-snap]"

"Had enough?"

"Yeah that's it! You know Harl-You know Harl-you know Harl...you're so...uh...oh God screw my subtle inuendo and lies, I would nail you right here, right now...but I'm afraid your sexiness would just-BLOW everyone away."

"Oh, stop." she blushed

"No-no I'm serious!" Gray turned to some scary looking biker guys at the other end of the bar playing pool...My hat's off to Seth MacFarlane on this one. "Hey Harl, I'll bet you I can walk up to everyone of those bikers and say 'Hey, aren't you Summer Gleeson' cause you know shes a woman, they're not-get it?"

"Ferris, no!" Pain couldn't stop him.

"Hey, you-fatty!" he pointed to the fattest biker there

"What do you want?' he was obviously not intimidated

"Aren't you Summer Gleeson?"

"Hey-[thwack]" he smacked Gray with the poll cue. Gray turned to another biker

"Aren't you Summer Gleeson's best friend? Summer Gleeson?"

"Why you little! Come here!" he lunged, Gray ducked just in time to see him make a faceplant on the nearest wall.

"Look pal."

"We don't like suits like you always messing with us!"

"Yeah, so now we gotta teach you a lesson?"

"Oh really? Well why don't I let you all take a moment to process all this so your little pea brains don't overwork themselves-AHA-HA-HA-HA!"

Angered, the bikers surrounded Boyle and were ready to fight. Pain simply covered her eyes

CRASH!

Suddenly Batman crashed through the window, and immediately knocked out one of the bikers

"Oof!"

"Hey it's the freakin' Bat!"

"Let's get him too!"

"Come on boys!" Gray and Batman stood back to back.

"Ah, well Bats, fancy meeting you here, meet my new friends?"

"You're "friends" want to tear you apart Boyle!"

"Ah, whatever!" the two started to subdue all the bikers.

"Look, Ferris! I know you're dieing, but doing all this is no way to spend your last day on earth!" Batman warned

"Ah, what do you know, I already know I'm going to hell! Might as well go out with a BANG-[THWACK]" Gray wrecked the last Biker's sh*t. "See ya around Batzy!" Gray ran to get Pain and the two ran from the restaurant.

"Boyle wait-ung!" One of the gangsters managed to stand up and get Batman in a big bear hug. The other bikers then managed to stand up, Batman still managed to fight them off.

"Come on Harl!" the two ran outside and Gray called in his wing to land, the two hopped on, and continued their day of debauchery.

"Grr-unh-ung-AGH!" Batman finally finished them all off. He turned to the bartender, and threw a C-note on the counter "Sorry about the mess." he said. He ran outside. No sign of them.

"Geoff, any sign of them?"

"_Yup, they're at the city square."_

"Copy, I'm on my way!" he hopped on the cycle, and headed that way.

Gray and Pain were hovering above the square, using the wing to launch weapons, missiles, rockets, whatever could be launched and cause damage on impact, was launched.

"Oh my God!"

"Run away!"

"Hurry! Run!"

"AHHHHHHH!" the people yelled on the streets scattering about.

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-hahahahaha-nah-nah-nah-nah! Ah, look at them run, quite a site, wouldn't you say my dear?"

"I guess so?" Pain shrugged

"Aw, your not happy, are you poo?" Gray asked in a little kid voice

"Eh?"

"Well I know just the thing that'll perk that narcolepsy right up!" Gray got in front of one of the giant jumbo-trons at one end of the square, and fired the chain gun

[rapid fire]

And with expert precision, with the bullet holes spelled out FB+HQ forever inside a heart.

"Awwwwwwwwww...AHHHHHHHHH!" everyone yelled from down below.

"Awwww, oh Mistah G I love it!" she gave him a hug

"I figured you would babe."

Batman was riding closer to the city square, to see a ton of people running towards him

"Must be getting close." Batman pulled up, several police cruisers have already responded, along with a chopper. Chef called to Gray on a megaphone

"Attention dumbass! You have just five seconds to land that science fiction piece of dork sh*t or else were firing!"

"Oh go f*ck a doughnut Bullock! You couldn't scare a stoned teenager on 420 cutting school let alone me!"

"Grr. When I get my hands on him I'll-"

"Bullock." Batman ran up

"Man, don't you ever sleep?" he asked annoyed

"Not since I was eight, any luck?"

"No, man I don't know what Boyle's problem is but something's gotta be done, and quick..."

Suddenly the chopper called Gray

"Attention Gray Goblin! Surrender now!"

"Bite Me!" he launched a rocketat the tail, and the chopper spiraled out of control before landing on a roof.

CRASH

"Sigh, go do yo thing." Bullock sighed

"Right." Batman launched a Bat Hook to the wing, which pulled him up to it

"What? Oh why can't he ever stay dead?" Gray asked "Hang on Harl!" he started to fly haphazardly trying to shake Batman off, who just kept climbing the rope.

"Uh, Mistah G?"

"What-oh." He saw Batman was so close, suddenly he got wide eyed

"BOYLE!"

"WATCH OUT FOR THAT-"

"Huh...on shi-[crasssssssh]" the crashed through the window of an office building and glided across the floor before landing on a pile of smashed cubicles

CRASSSSH

"Ugh...deja vu...oh, what a rush, now that's, what I call...going out...with a bang." he passed out.

Back at Arkham, Batman threw him back into his cell, after he dropped off Nurse Pain.

"What, no! I can't be back here! I precious hours to live! I haven't even seen Paris yet! Or-or-or-or punched a Goofy and Donald Duck character at Disney World!"

"I can't have you put more innocent lives at risk-"

"And actually Mr. Boyle, you have more time than you think." Bartholomew approached

"Huh?"

"Well actually I got your tests mixed up with another older patient, turns out you're completely healthy, you didn't have cancer at all...isn't that great?"

Boyle's head started to steam...then, the eruption

"You...WHAAAAAAAAAT! I can't believe it...I-I-I-I-I..I WASTED MONEY!" he sobbed, Batman shook his head, smiled and walked away

"Ah, Just desserts."

**The End...**

**Alright, guys, we got some Freeze action up next, as always PLEASE REVIEW and all that such! See ya playas!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Mark Hamill: **Ferris Boyle/The Gray Goblin, Biker

**Arleen Sorkin: **Harleen Quinzel/Nurse Pain, various

**Morgan Freeman: **Lucius Fox

**Frank Welker: **Dr. Bartholomew, guard

**John DiMaggio: **Biker, guard, various

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Bartender

**Kevin Michael Richardson: **biker, various

**Richard Moll: **Computer, various

**Tress MacNeille: **Additional Vices

**Lauren Tom: **Additional Voices

**Charlie Adler: **Additional Voices


	141. Icy Tension, Part I

**Villain(s): Mrs. Freeze, Mr. Freeze**

**Episode Archive: Zilch!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Curt Geda **

**Teleplay By: Steve Perry&Paul Dini**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 69: Icy Tension**

Trent Wayne was dressed in his fancypants get up, why you might be asking yourselves? Well cause I'm-a gonna ya why!

"Ugh, I still can't believe I let Alfred talk me into Internet dating...especially considering who he found on said dating site." Trent complained. Bridgette helped him with his tie.

"Oh come on Trent, you know how happy Alfred is ever since he's gotten back in the game."

"Bridge, he's dating Bionica!"

"Oh hush, Cody's dating the Exterminator, who need I remind you nearly killed Geoff."

"Eh, Joker came closer." Geoff sighed from outside the door. He rolled away.

"Anyway, it seems dating super villains seems to run in the family...knowing my luck I'll probably get Ivy or...or Gwen...or Heather..." Trent said happily shrugging at the last two "Or-yuck-Lindsey, as busty as that girl is, she has the brain the size of a walnut."

"Hmm, what about her sister?" Bridgette asked

"Harleen? Ha, please-all the evil and dumbass of Lindsey, with all the ire of narcolepsy-no thanks, besides, she and Boyle are like madly in love."

"Yeah, "mad" being the operative word." Bridgette chuckled

"Come on sir, I found my perfect match, and so can you-thanks to dHarmony." Alfred added coming in

"You know I'm not sure what creeps me out more...the fact that you're 72 and shes 34...it's the fact shes part ROBOT!"

"Yet she hasn't skipped a beat." Alfred added

"I'd say shes gold digging, but the love letters, boxes of chocolate-constant good dates, and long phone conversations unfortunately lead me to believe otherwise."

"Exactly." the Butler winked

"Man, what do you two even talk about anyhow?"

"Lots of things." Alfred shrugged

"Lots of things...really?"

"Yes."

"You have been butling for my family-and I thank you for that-since before I was even born-shes a former neuro-technician."

"Master Trent, won't you stop assaulting my love life, and get yours on track?"

"Sigh-fine."

"Who you meeting anyway?" Bridgette asked

"Uh..." Trent checked his Iphone "iCe_IcE_bAbY_337."

"Ooh, that's a name." Bridgette said nodding

"Wait a second...sounds like the work of Ms. Smithy." Alfred pondered

"Possibly, so I'm not letting my guard down for a second."

"What's your profile name anyhow?" Bridgette asked

"THEtrentwayne."

"Hmm-original." Alfred rolled his eyes

"At least it's not I'MBATMAN or something."

"Correct, alright I'm gone, make sure you and Cody start patrolling in a few hours."

"Afraid I'll be flying solo, little squirt's on a date himself." Bridgette explained

"Well, I'll join you once I'm finished-who knows, maybe that mysterious other Batman will show up...worth a shot?"

"yup, ha-ha." Bridgette chuckled...she knew.

Meanwhile stepping off the 5:10 from Boston was Tyler Fries. A new man-a changed man. He stepped onto the station platform, and gave the air a good old sniff.

"Snifffffffffffff-ah, fresh-polluted Gotham City air...I'm home." he shed a tear.

Tyler was totally cured of his cold disease, as well as his craziness. With Nora revived and Boyle brought to justice, twas all his broken little psyche needed to remedy. He was also given enough accurate treatment to eradicate the disease that made him Mr. Freeze. Tyler started with a walk through nearby Reed Park.

"Ah, so nice to see all these smiling faces in the city...and, I don't feel like I'm in Antarctica anymore!" he cheered. Suddenly, a cry for help-

"Help! Help-Help!"

"A cry for help! This looks like a job for...Batman...oh Batman!" Tyler called...loser "Where are you...Cry for help here...huh, well looks like I'll take care of this one...and get some good street cred back in this man's city!" he followed the cries to a tree, gathered by some people watching.

"What's going on?" Tyler asked, he walked up to a small girl crying

"Oh, it's my cat...she...shes stuck in the tree." hmm, perhaps he should have called Catwoman?

"That's it?"

"Y-y-y-y-yeah."

"Well why didn't you say so, not to worry little girl, I'll take care of this one." Tyler backed up and got a running start. "YAHHHHH-[thud]" . . . "It's okay, I'll get the next one, I'm a tad rusty...YAHHHHH-[thud]" . . . "Third times the charm-YAHHHHHH-[thud]" okay, no he's starting to get a concussion...and the crowd is slowly losing interest...well slowly.

"Uh, maybe you should just...I dunno climb the tree?" another girl asked

"Oh-uh, yeah-sure...that could work-ya know if you wanna do it the boring way." Tyler scoffed as if he was cool.

He started to climb the tree, he reasonably quickly made it to the branch where the cat was perched, twas a gray cat with short fur.

"Oh there you are, oh don't you look adorable." Tyler said.

"Meow...meow."

"Aw, you're sooooo cute...okay, come to Tyler...come to Tyler."he inched his way on the branch to get closer to the cat. "Come to-[craaaaaaack]-figures." he sighed [SNAP] "Whoaaaaaaaa!" THUD! Tyler hit the ground as the branch snapped Tyler laid on the ground, but the cat landed on top of him

"See, here's your-oh jeez!" who started to claw his face "Yeow! Claws! Yeow! FACE! Ow, not the face-NOT THE FACE!" he begged, the little girl was able to pull the cat from Tyler.

"Oh thank you sir! Thank you so much! Oh...I thought I lost you fluffles." she said rubbing her face against her vicious cat's fur.

"All in a days work ma'am." Tyler said woozily

"What's your name?" she asked

"Why, I'm-"

"Hey! That's Tyler Fries!" someone finally noticed.

Now we cutscene to Arkham Asylum, an angered (as usual) Dora Smithy was sweeping in the rec room, while the TV was on.

"Grr-f*ck my life!" she complained. "Why do I always get the short end of the stick? Why me? Why...oh well, at least I'll have the satisfaction of knowing I won't see my brother-in-law's smug little face ever ag-"

"_This just in! A alte breaking story from Gotham News Five!" the TV blared_

"_Jack Ryder here, I'm joined at Reed Park, with an old face many of you might find familiar. It's none other than reformed villain Tyler Fries-you may know him better as Mr. Freeze." Dora dropped her broom in angry astonishment_

"_It's good to be back Jack!"_

"_No more than 5 minutes off the train from Boston here's the former freezing foe saving cats from trees."_

"_Oh-well, it was nothing really." he said trying to be modest. "My uh, scratched up face is the proof." everyone laughed. Dora simply squinted a little. _

"_Well there you have it folks, from fallen villain to town hero this is Jack Ryder, signing off-"_

"GAH!" Dora launched the broom at the TV, effectively breaking it "How...DARE HE! Oh no doubt he'll be going back to corrupting my sweet sister with his...his...fake love! Well, no matter, I just gotta make sure I get rid of him...it might however be an unfortunate end to another I actually do love... but beggars can't be choosers." Dora sighed, and went for the nearest vent shaft to make her escape.

Meanwhile Trent entered The Rose Cafe, in search of his blind date. He sighed, and walked up to the Matre De.

"Um hi, I'm supposed to be meeting someone?"

"Yes of course Mr. Wayne, follow me sir." he said. He led Trent to a table, where the person on the other side had a menu covering their face. "I present to you, your date sir." he walked away.

"Thank you." Trent sat down, and tried to get an image in his head of his mystery date. "So, it's a pleasure to finally meet you." she put down her menu.

"Well...usually when people put a picture and profile name you assume they're lying-but how about this, The Trent Wayne."

"That's what it says on my profile...But let me say what an honor it is to be dating THE Nora Fries."

"Oh, thank you, this is my first date since I was revived...and since I haven't seen Tyler for...almost 10 months-hell I barely saw him anyway...I figured he wanted to split I know he wrote me a letter, but I really don't know how long he'll be gone for, you know?"

"Tyler was uh...going through a lot that day, he wanted to make things right for himself." . . . "For you."

"Well thanks...but wait, how did you know all that, what are you Batman or something?" YES!

"Uh...papers?"

"Ah, right; gotta love newsprint." they shared a laugh "My cousin Lois Lane is a reporter in Metropolis I got a million of em."

Mrs. Freeze was at her sister's apartment rummaging around for something that would tell where she was going.

"Grr- I know she has a Blackberry, or a palm pilot or something!" she then tripped over something she missed, an- "Ipad! Yes!" she looked over her sister's schedule "Here we go, big Blind Date tonite at Rose Cafe-SWEET!" she dropped the Ipad on her bed and headed out...

Maybe 5 minutes later, Tyler entered the ajar apartment with flowers in his hands

"HONEY! I'm home...knock-knock...Nora...Nora?" he walked in "Guess shes not home...huh, I don't remember her being a slob." he pondered looking over the mess Mrs. Freeze had made. "Hmm, maybe if I knew where she was going-ah yes, an Ipad!" he noticed the device, and looked it over. "Big Date at Rose Cafe...oh man she did forget about me...you know what...that's okay, cause once I show up there she'll be dying to take me back." Dying maybe.

Back at said Cafe of roses, Trent and Nora were actually having good conversation.

"Speaking of Batman." she began "I hear he has some competition."

"What makes you say that?" Trent asked

"Well I saw on the news months ago, when the Terrible Trio invaded the Police Department there was a guy dressed like Batman, but everyone knows it wasn't him...I heard it could have been the first Batman from like, a 100 years ago, back when we were younger."

"Could be...of course I'm sure whoever he is, he's just trying to help."

"Well, aren't we all."

"Depends...there are some...who, well..."

"Just wanna watch and see the world burn?"

"Exactly, just anna watch and see the world-"

"FREEZE!" came the ear chilling words of Mrs. Freeze entering the restaurant. Walking towards the couple.

"Dora!" Nora stood up.

"That's right sis, I'm here to claim what's mine!"

"What are you talking about?" she asked

"Your little hubby is back Nor! I can't have that! I need to make sure he doesn't mess you up again! And this is the only way how!"

"Why I've never heard anything more..." she turned slightly "Hey, wasn't there a handsome young billionaire standing right next to me just a moment ago?" suddenly Batman popped out from the mens room, and slung a Batarang right at her freeze gun.

"Gah!" Freeze held her now injured wrist.

"Stay away from her Dora!" he ordered "Just come quietly, I don't wanna make this ugly."

"Ha! You're the one whose gonna get it ugly B-Man!" he didn't see Dora reach for another gun behind herself.

"What's that supposed to-"

"BATMAN LOOK OUT-[verrrrrrrrrrrr]"

"Unh!" she froze Batman's torso to the table. "Grunt-grunt!" he struggled

Freeze then blasted Nora's hands cuffing her.

"Hey!"

"Sorry sis, but there's just no other way, later Bats-ha-ha-ha-ha-Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" she chuckled leaving the restaurant.

Moments later, while Batman struggled, Tyler entered the restaurant.

"Nora?" he gasped, dropping his flowers to the ground...he knew what all the ice meant "Oh no."

**To Be Continued...**

**You know guys I just realized something...my writing is a bunch of crap! Its cliché, it's all over the place, it's...it's...it's just bad! But that aside I want you guys to tell me, so far! Your favorite, and least favorite episode of Total Drama Batman! Come on you've gotta have one! So, just REVIEW me, and I'll get back to doing what I do worst! PEACE**


	142. Icy Tension, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"No-no-no-no-NOOOO!" Tyler broke down. "I can't believe it! That little bitch!" he stood up, nearly bringing himself to tears. What a baby.

"Fries!" Batman looked up from being frozen to the table.

"Batman!" Tyler ran over to him "Where is she, where did she go?" he asked with haste and anger in his voice.

"I don't know-GRR!" he used one full grunt and unstuck himself from the table. "She was angered that you were back in town, so she kidnapped her own sister, saying it was the only way." he explained

"Grrr! But what can that mean?"

"I don't know."

"Well then, were gonna find out exactly what that means, come on!"

"Wait..."

"What?" Tyler stopped dead in his tracks."

"I lead." Batman got in front of him

"Erg, whatever."

The two ran out into the street to see if they could find any sign of Mrs. Freeze or Dora, nothing. No ice not even any sort of clue.

"Dammit, no sign of them, erg!" Tyler slammed the flowers he planned on giving to Nora to the ground "Where, are they!"

"Tyler get a hold of yourself!" Batman ordered "We'll find them, I promise."

But in fact it will be Dora, that will find them, suddenly, the jumbotron attached to a nearby building, an on every TV display at the electronics shop across the street, basically, Freeze had controlled the airways.

"_Attention Tyler Fries, wherever you are...you may or may not know yet, but; I have Nora, right here."_ she motioned behind her, Nora was gagged and tied to a chair...needles to say everyone else on the street weren't happy to see this

"What!"

"Who does she think she is!"

"Call the police!"

"Hey look it's Batman!"

"_Now listen up Tyler! You are well aware, that I hate your guts, and solely find you...and Batgirl...responsible for doing this to me! Though I love Nora, really I do, but I can't have you corrupting her anymore, screwing her up...until shes someone just like me."_

Tyler gritted his teeth in anger, he wanted nothing more than to rub her out then and there.

"_So, you're gonna have to choose...her life...or yours." _he looked and saw Freeze gently caress the hair of her sister.

"_You have 5 hours to show your face, I think you know where I'll be, oh and Ty...if you really truly love her, then I'm sure you'll do what's best for her, toodles...stay...cool-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" _her transmission ended

"That-that...THAT-AHHHHHH!" Tyler frustrated kicked a nearby lamppost "OW!" only to realize lampposts are stronger than they appear.

"Tyler! Get a hold of yourself!" Batman grabbed him "I'm sure shes at the old ice cream factory in Bayside!"

"Oh I could have told you that!"

"Then let's go! I'll get you somewhere safe and-"

"NO! I'm helping you!"

"Tyler, it's too-"

"It's fine...look, shes my wife, and I'm gonna help her, whether you like it or not." Batman nodded "Good, now; first things first, where's Boyle?"

"With any luck, Arkham."

"Good, just, go do whatcha gotta do." Tyler turned around

"And you?"

"I gotta do what I gotta do...don't worry, nobody gets hurt till I get to the ice cream factory." Tyler sprinted away

"Tyler wait-erg!" Batman scratched his temple "Gotta get to that ice cream factory!" he launched a Bat hook and swung to the nearest building.

Tyler's travels took him to the confiscated weapons vault at 117 Cherry street, he sneaked in, on the floor of the place, he looked around for his stuff.

"Let's see here." he shined his flashlight "Croc...Ivy...Riddler...no, Nurse Pain...who the hell is that-grr, focus Tyler, this is for Nora...this is for Nora." Tyler got back to work "Quinn...Penguin-Freeze! Here we go!" Tyler took out a very old box of crap, and blew some dust off "Yup, it's all there.

Inside said box was his Freeze armor, the freeze ray gun-THE ORIGINAL, and a few other cold related things, Tyler also found an old VHS tape, on the memo something was written in Boyle's handwriting

"What the..." Tyler read the script "Destroy immediately, Fries accident footage, perfect!"

"Hey!" he heard a guard get close

"What?" another guard asked

"You hear something?"

"Maybe."

"Come on, this way!" Tyler hid in a row of boxes as they went passed, when they did, he grabbed his box and darted away.

Meanwhile Batman swung atop the roof of the old Ice Cream factory, he looked down a skylight, the old vat of liquid nitrogen was still there, and atop the platform, were Freeze and Nora.

"Freeze." Batman squinted. He got over his radio "Commissioner."

"_Go ahead Batman."_

"I need you and a squad over at the old abandoned ice cream factory, hurry!"

"_We'll need time, were taking care of a situation in Lower Gotham, we'll be on our way, sit tight." _Batman looked through and tried to catch an ear at their conversation.

Anyway, Tyler had made his way, with hiss stuff, back to Nora's place (as she still had a VCR) and popped the tape in. Tyler caught a glimpse at himself

"Man, did I look hideous back then."

"_Hello, my name is Tyler Fries. What I may offer you may or may not change the world. What if I told you I could end disease worldwide, in the world of cryogenics? Such as you see behind me, my beloved wife Nora. I froze her, to keep a life threatening disease at bay, I only hope that-"_

"_Open this door right now! Open up!" _Came an angry voice of Ferris from right outside the door. Eventually, two guards and Ferris rushed in.

"_I thought I told you this was not authorized, shut it down now!" _he ordered a guard

"_No, you can't, if you stop the process now, it may kill her!"_

"_I don't care, you've wasted far too much of MY money, and MY time, so were shutting it down, this instant!"_

"_No!" Tyler noticed a revolver in one of the guard's holster. He picked it up, and angrily and sadly aimed it at Boyle "Nooooo!"_

"_Tyler, please, I-I lost my temper, that's all, it doesn't have to come to this...grunt!" [pop-crash-bang-fizz] _He kicked Tyler into a table with a lot of cold chemicals.

"_Quick, let's get out of here!" _Ferris ordered his men

"_No, Nora...NORRRRA!" _

"That's it! A ton of chemicals made me that monster!" Tyler stood up. "Hmm, I wonder." He knew Nora was still a gifted bio chemist, and he knew she would have the proper chemicals lying around.

So Tyler used whatever he could find, most of which was liquid nitrogen, as well as a few other compounds he would have used when he worked at Gothcorp, and mixed them all into a mixed drink into a chemical flask.

"Well, here goes nothing...the only way to fight ice...is with ice." he chugged the concoction, when finished he slammed the flask to the floor, effectively breaking it. "Oh God-cold-cold! Oh I forgot how cold I was!" eventually he changed back, and stood up "Yes...and now...for revenge."

And now back at the factory.

"Alright, can't wait for the police any longer, or Tyler for that matter." Batman got ready to strike inside.

. . .

"Ah, yes; won't be long now sis, before your hubby comes here, and I waste him-then, it'll be just the two of us again, like it was supposed to be, until he came along!" Freeze spat with venom in her voice. Nora simply looked at her with disgust.

"Mmm-mm-m-mm!"

"I know, I can't wait either." Freeze smiled. . . . -[CRASH] Batman flew in

"What the-Batman!"

"Mmm-hmm." he landed on the platform

"It's over Dora...your reign is finished!"

"Oh, it'll be finished alright, once Tyler is in pieces, just like Caroline Greenway!"

"Dora, listen to yourself, this isn't you." Dora started to look at him more relaxed "You don't wanna do this, your just a poor broken soul, who just didn't want to let go of your sister, so your mind manifested a hatred for the only thing that separated you both...I know you don't want to hurt anyone...right?"

"Wow...you're right Batman, you're absolutely right."

"Thank you."

"You know...I-I also realize that...you're...a complete sucker!" she blasted Batman.

The blast sent him hurdling right into the vat of liquid nitrogen, he sank like a rock. Nora started to weep.

"Well-well-guess that's the last we'll ever see of that troublesome bat-[splash]"

Like she had, Batman jumped from the vat, difference was, he was completely unchanged, he kicked a surprised Freeze to the floor.

"What no! That's not-THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE! And it's not fair!"

"Ha, you obviously underestimate me Dora..."

"Lemme guess, thermal-cold retardant bat suit, right?"

"Yup." Suddenly she raised her gun.

"Well I'll still freeze you up, real goo-[verrrrrr]" someone had frozen her gun away "Who dares-TYLER!"

"That's right Dora." Mr. Freeze said "I'm back, and now...I have a new purpose! Getting rid of you!"

"No Fries!" Batman quickly tossed a Batarang, taking his gun apart.

"Gah! Batman, I'm handling it!"

"Well I'm handling you!"

"I just wanna make things right again!"

"You mean like what she wants to do to you!" Tyler stopped dead in his tracks at that one. Batman jumped down. "Look Tyler, I know you want things to be as they should be... but getting rid of Dora won't solve anything...will it?"

"Sigh, no; you're right." Mr. Freeze sighed "Thanks, so; guess we take her back to Arkham, right?"

"That's right-"

"NOOOOO!" Dora grabbed her tied up sister.

"Enough of this! If I can't have my Nora! Then nobody can!" she threw her right into the vat.

"NOOOOOOOO!"

"Nora! Norrrraaaaa!" Mr. Freeze jumped in after her, and Batman was able to subdue Mrs. freeze, just as the police arrived.

"Okay, nobody move! This is the police!" Chris ordered. Then suddenly Freeze jumped out of the bat, with an effected Nora.

"Cough-cough-cough! G-g-g-g-g—guess...guess I'm back to square one, huh?" she said weakly

"Maybe not." Batman said turning Dora over to Chris

"Maybe, you both can heal each other, kind of a husband and wife bond, thing."

"Yeah, that'd be nice."

"Oh, but I feel bad that I have to dump Trent Wayne-I was on a date with him."

"I'm certain Mr. Wayne will understamd." Batman smiled

"Really, how?" Nora asked shivering

"Trust me, sometimes a guy just knows." he launched a Bat-hook to the ceiling and swung away.

**3 months later**

Trent was reading the paper on his back deck.

"Well, seems Mr. and Mrs. Fries are making miraculous recoveries." Alfred said pouring Trent some tea.

"Looks that way Alfred."

"You think this'll be the last well ever see Tyler evil?"

"I hope...though there is still one more that we'll have to deal with...and since they're both still together, she won't rest until they're taken care of...for good."

**The End**

**Alright guys, lots of things to discuss here. One: glad you liked it, review as always, two: I'm still looking as to what is your favorite B:TAS episode to date, and your least favorite, three: inquire within about the series finale, the movie, and a spinoff which are all currently in the works, for more info, you know where to find me, Critters is up next, so' yeah-enjoy!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Peter Oldring: **Tyler Fries/Mr. Freeze

**Jennifer Hale: **Dora Smithy/Mrs. Freeze

**Dana Delaney: **Nora Fries

**John DiMaggio: **Guard, additional voices

**Tom Kenny: **Waiter, guard, additional voices

**Phil LaMarr: **additional voices

**Tara Strong: **child, additional voices

**Mark Hamill: **Ferris Boyle, guard

**Clancy Brown: **additional voices


	143. Crazy Old Farmer Brown, Part I

**Villain: Farmer Brown**

**Episode Counterpart: Critters (1998)**

**Story By: Steve Gerber**

**Written By: Joe Landsdale**

**Directed By: Dan Riba**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 70: Crazy Old Farmer Brown**

**-1 year ago-**

Twas the Gotham agricultural expo. At an exhibit, which was supposed to be the thing to see at this years convention, was genetic Farmer, simply known as; Farmer Brown. He worked alongside his blonde daughter, Sadie-Mae. Just picture, the couple in the famous "American Gothic" picture, that's them, with a younger girl.

"Ladies and gentlemen, not since man has put a piece of beef between two slices of bread have you seen anything as glorious, as what is underneath this sheet." Brown announced

"Yeah okay!" a reporter countered

"Mr. Brown, you've been saying that for the passed hour, but all we've been seeing is your daughter, and a large sheet over a box!" another reporter added.

"Now-now, all in due time. First I ask you." he began "Wouldn't you wish you had a turkey leg to feed the entire family at Thanksgiving? Or perhaps a juicy steak big enough for everyone at the Fourth of July Barbecue? Well now, you can; thanks to Farmer Brown's genetically growth hormone mutated livestock, observe!" he tore the sheet off.

"Gasp!"

"Oh my lord!"

"That's amazing!"

What was under the sheet was a large cage, inside the large cage was an almost as large cow. A cow that would hardly fit.

"Mooooooo!" the flash photography seemed to be agitating it, so much so, it banged on the cage, [BANG-BANG...CRASH] then...broke through it.

"Oh my God!"

Get away from that thing!"

"Someone call the animal control!" Chris Gordon yelled. "And the polic-wait a minute-back-up-I need back-up here now!"

The Cow was swaying all over the place, destroying anything in it's path.

"Whoa, simmer down there!" Farmer Brown ordered

"Mooooooooooo!" he was ignored.

"Over here! Here boy!" Came Trent Wayne's voice.

The cow saw the billionaire in front of a large red curtain. I guess he had some bull in him. He dodged at Trent, who easily threw the curtain over him, trapping him instantly.

"Whew, nice going Wayne." Chris congratulated him

"Well thanks, though I was just looking for the exit." he said nonchalantly. Brown got a syringe gun ready.

"Don't hurt him Daddy!" Sadie-Mae warned

"Not to worry sweetie-pie, just a sedative is all, he'll be dreaming about green pastures." he assured everyone. Suddenly, all the press...still ballsy enough to remain in the building, turned their cameras on the farmer.

. . .

Well, needless to say it didn't take long for Brown to be taken to court for the incident, him and his daughter awaited the judge's decision.

"Emmett Brown, I hereby forbid you to carry out these horrific experiments on livestock and other animals ever again, it only turns them violent!" The judge ordered "You are to remove any specimens in your control to safe captivity, outside Gotham City!"

"But your honor please I've sunk millions into this, it's my life's work!" he begged. "I'm down the drain, washed up, snookered, and hung out to dry."

"I'm sorry, but I can't have these monstrosities running loose in the city, case dismissed!" he slammed the gavel.

"W-what now Daddy?" his daughter asked worrisome

"Monsters huh...I'll show em monsters...come on honey!"

-**Present Day-**

On a sidewalk cafe across the street from Reed Park, Trent was yet again, on another date.

"I was afraid you wouldn't call." the brunette said

"Well, I am a busy man, works just...kind of a pain."

"Yeah, I know what that's like, still; isn't it true just last week I saw you at that art gallery with Gwendolyn Kyle?" she asked

"Uh...no, you must have her confused with someone else."

"Sure."

"So Candace tell me, what do you-"

"Excuse me waiter, there is a bug in my soup!" a disgruntled customer asked

"Oh I'm terribly sorry sir, I'll take it back for you."

"No, I mean there is a huge bug in my soup-AHHHHHHHHH!" Trent turned and saw the largest praying mantis he had ever laid eyes on. Everyone began to disperse from the restaurant

"Quick, run!" Trent told his date. He himself ran for an easy place to change.

When Batman emerged from the ally way, the one mantis was joined by two more, flying in from the park.

"SCREEEEEEEE!" they screeched

"Huh, this looks like something out of an 80's animal horror movie! Here's hoping I'm not the first victim!" Batman dodged their slice attacks. "Nyah! Ha! Ha-ha!" his jumps and dodges took the Dark Knight to the wall separating the sidewalk and the park. The mantis followed him like zombies and Trent was the only one left on the map. He got out something we haven't seen in awhile, an explosive Batarang.

"Eat this!" he flung it at the lead mantis, it caught on it's stomach, and then exploded, a sticky green goop was all that remained "Gross." Batman flicked the residual goop off, and flipped onto the back of another mantis.

"SCREEEEE!"

"Care to play chicken?" he asked. He used the head to control the mantis to attack the other, one good swipe from the free mantis, sliced the head off of the one Batman was on top of, nearly giving him a corrotive-ectomy.

"Whoa!" Batman hit the pavement, as the creature tumbled, goop spewing from the hole in it's neck.

"Ha- two down-"

"SCREEEEEEEEEEE!"

"And one annoying one to go." he sighed

With quick thinking he noticed a tanker truck nearby, inside was a tank of, for whatever reason, insect repellent,

"Perfect!"

"Screeeeeeeeee!"

Batman sprinted to the truck making sure the creature was in the direct path of the fluid release.

"SCREEEEEE!"

"That's it, just a bit closer." Batman said "Annnnnnd." he turned the valve, and the liquids spewed from the truck, melting the mantis away

"Screeeeeeee-e-e-e—e-e-." he melted into goop, Batman picked up the severed head of the other mantis as a clue...yup, those are bug eyes alright.

Back at the Bat-Cave, Batman, Batgirl, and Robin were analyzing the mess. Batman sat at the computer.

"It took a whole tanker of insecticide to kill them?" Batgirl asked in disbelief

"Nope...that didn't kill it, oh sure, TNT and itself were the causes of death for the other two, but this one was genetically altered to be stronger than pesticides, it self destructed when it needed to." Batman explained

"And, why would anyone do that, exactly?" Robin asked

"To show us he can."

"Who?" Batgirl asked

"We'll see, this was just a preview, the real show has yet to come." Batman said worryingly.

And he'd be right. Over at Farmer Brown's lair, set up like a nice Americana slice of the bread basket type farm, sat the psycho on the stoop of his house, widdling a two headed cow, and spitting a massive lip of Skoal green apple. I'm a straight or vanilla man myself.

Anyway, his daughter had a big bag of feed over her shoulders.

"Livestock ready to go to market sugar?"

"Yes sir Daddy."

"What about the kid?" he means the goat

"Can't shut 'im up."

"Well now I'm gonna be in my office." he opened up a space age door in the house "Gimme a holler when you've finished getting them livestock to market."

"I will daddy, but first I have to feed the chickens."

Brown closed the door to the elevator, and ascended a story or two above the large, facade that was his lair, to his office which overlooked the city.

"Here chick-chick-chick-chick-chick. Here-chick-chick-chick." Sadie-Mae approached the chicken coop, and a horde of disgusting genetically altered chickens exited, and started their breakfast.

In his office Brown approached the largest window. His lair was actually on a small island in Gotham Bay. He looked out and had a great view of Central Island, he checked his pocket watch.

"Okey-dokey." he smirked

On that island, two huge bulls went on a rampage in Midtown.

"ROOOOOAR!"

"Dear God!"

"It's happening again!"

"Run away!"

"Don't wear any red!"

"ROOOOOOOOAR!"

The Batmobile drove towards the huge monsters. Inside, Batgirl and Robin.

"Holy Cow!"

"You had to say it." Batgirl groaned

Meanwhile in the skies, a police shopper was making it's rounds above Dawson Heights nearby, not knowing it was being pursued by three of the chickens.

"I'm getting a disturbance from the streets." the pilot said

"What is it?" the co-pilot asked

"I dunno, appearently...yeah, it's...it's two giant cows of some sort." CRASH! "Ahhhhhhhhhh!"

"Oh my God!" a chicken crashed through the windshield, while two more hovered around the chopper

"Mayday-mayday! We gotta situation here!"

Batman was flying about with the Bat-glider, checking in on his two subordinates on the streets

"Nothing yet, how are you two doing on the streets?" The bull had tossed the Batmobile around like a ragdoll.

"Actually, were a little busy right at the moment." Robin said sarcastically. Suddenly, one of the bulls stepped right on top of it, fortunately it could withstand the force. "As a matter of fact, we've just been run over by a cow."

"What?" suddenly, Batman saw the chopper with the chickens surrounding it "...I believe you." he groaned. Batman headed for the chopper which was falling fast, he tried to draw the chickens away from the police, and to him.

"Hey you! KFC! That's right, come to Batman!" he got one of their attentions. The two pilots tried to land the falling hunk of metal safely.

"Can you land on the roof?" the pilot asked

"Ugh, not if this keeps up!" Eventually the other two chickens followed Batman and the chopper made a slightly decent crash landing atop of the roof.

Batman picked up the glider's thrust as the chickens followed him closely. Meanwhile back on the streets, the Batmobile was trying to lure the livestock to follow them and get away from the civilians. But this didn't work. The two exited.

"I'll take one, you take the other!" Batgirl yelled

"Wait-Batgirl-erg!" Robin on instinct followed the other. The one bull ran into a construction site where Batgirl saw the opportunity, she readied a Bat-Bolo.

"Perfect!" she threw it at it's hind legs, and the creature fell and slid into a pile of wet cement, trapping it. "Ha, that'll hold ya!"

On Robin's bull, he was-well...running through a china shop-even though bulls do nothing anyhow inside a china shop.

"Hey Ferdinand!' Robin yelled from the entrance f an ally, across the street. "Toro-toro-yipe!" the bull charged at Robin, who fled down the ally, while running he grabbed a trash can lid, and sprinted to a window at a dead end apartment yards in front of him.

"Sure hope this works!" he got ready to rush his way through.

**To Be Continued...**

**Alright bros and brodettes, I've decided to let you in on the spinoff at the end of this season, so you'll have to wait; review though, and get ready for more! PEACE! **


	144. Crazy Old Farmer Brown, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Robin put the can lid over his face as he ran, and with the precision of your above average high school pole vaulter, he leaped, and crashed through the window of the abandoned apartment seconds before the bull crashed through the wall, trapping him.

"ROOOOOOOOAR!"

"Whew, that was close." Suddenly the bull was moving toward Robin a little. It was Batgirl driving a garbage truck, to push the bull in more to trap it in completely.

"Rooooooooar!"

"And, that should do it, whew...breaks my heart to do this to a living creature." Batgirl welled up

"ROOOOOOOOOAR!"

"But in this case I'll make an exception." she stepped out of the truck.

From the second floor window, Robin looked down below."

"Wow, that's a lot of bull."

"Oh really?" Batgirl sighed

Back in the skies the chickens were in hot pursuit of the retreating Batman. He flew over the narrow canal of the East River, which separated Central Island with Eastern Brooklyn. (Gotham consists of the island, and the area east of that.)

"Erg! Can't shake em!" Holy halibuts Batman, I could have told you that!

Batman followed the carnivorous fowl over the bay, and over toward the larger East Borough Bridge. Batman decreased his speed abruptly which caused the pursuing fowl to suddenly get in front of him. One bird was facing the underside of the bridge. Batman quickly fired a net from the glider. The net was rocket propelled and trapped the bird against the bridge.

"YES! One down! Thank ya Lord!" well someones having a good hunt

Batman flew under the bridge and caught up to the other two birds, one blatantly attacked the aerial bat, big mistake. Batman quickly got a bat bolo attached to a net at the ready.

"SCREEEEEEE!" he threw the net over the bird, direct hit. And the chicken sank like a sack of potatoes.

SPLASH "SCREEEEEEE!"

"Ha two down-YA-HOO!" who knew taking down psycho genetically altered chickens could make a broken man so happy...anyway

Batman chased the chicken to a local-you guessed it-chicken slaughterhouse in South Gotham across the bay.

CRASH!

"SCREEEEEEE!"

"Oh my God!"

"It's Batman!"

"I don't believe it!"

Batman flew around trying to find some way to subdue the flying vermin. With little options he wall ran across the wall, and as the chicken flew close he socked it right in the genetically altered schnoz.

WHACK "SCREEEEEEEE!" SPLASH-FIZZZZZZZ-sizzle. Turns out, it fell into a giant deep-fat fryer...I recommend Sparkling-Nexis137 not read that tidbit but I fear it's a tidbit too late.

"Ew." Batman looked at the frying mess. "I'llhave to remind myself to avoid KFC for a little while." he then flew away.

Meanwhile outside the Police HQ, a sergeant was readying a squad to tackle another animal issue

"That's right, I got four more head of cattle on Market Street in The Red Light District, come on people, let's move!"

"Yes sir!"

Little did anyone know, they were in fact being infiltrated. Chef was going over some police reports on his desk when the infiltrator sneaked past, effectively stealing his doughnut. And if there's one person you don't mess with, it's Chef, and food. Anyway, in Gordon's office, he and Batman were talking about there next move.

"I gotta say my friend, in all my years of being involved in this business have I ever witnessed anything this...this..." Chris was at a loss for words "What's the word for creepy and confusing as hell?"

"Bizarre."

"Right-right, I mean, killer chickens, giant cattle? And it all begs the question-WHY US! I bet NYC doesn't have to deal with this crap!" he slumped back in his chair "What do you think it is?"

"Remember that microbiologist they used to call Farmer Brown?"

"Well yes but-"

BANG-BANG-BANG! There came a banging at Chris's door. Suddenly, it opened, entered, a weird looking-

"Goat?" Batman shrugged

"I think it's for you?" Chris whispered. Then, in a southern drawl, much like Farmer Browns, he spoke.

"Howdy-howdy."

"Oh my lord!"

"50 million in unmarked bills at the docks tonight or else the bugs come baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack for good." he said like a goat should, with a baa. "One person brings the money, no funny business, no Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatman." Then Chef barged in

"HEY! He ate my doughnut!" Chris raised an eyebrow "What?"

Bullock suddenly found himself driving an armored car full of cash, driving slowly behind the goat towards the docks at Gotham Harbor.

"Hey Commish' we got Brazol for brains if we hand 50 million over to a freaking goat." he said over radio

"_Now you let me, and Mayor Hill worry about that Bullock, I can't afford to have you rocking the boat."_

"Funny you should say that." Chef found himself driving into the back of a cargo tug boat, he disembarked, and drew his gun looking for someone human "Okay whiskers, where's the captain." the goat motioned to the bridge above, where Sadie-Mae stood, winking "Say, I might like this cruise-whoa-hey-[splash]" wearing out his usefulness, the goat ramed Chef into the water, as the boat floated off. "Oh no yo don't!" Chef managed to swim and grab hold of an attached rope submerged in the water.

At the lair, the van was in the middle of the faux farmland, and Sadie-Mae had Chef in a headlock, who was confused as hell as to why she was so damn strong.

"When I was looking in the boat for tracers, I saw him hanging onto a rope wetter than a bag of drown cats." she told her father.

"Well now city slicker, I reckon it's not polite to show-up at a fellas abode without a proper invitation."

"Gee snuffy, guess I plum forgot my manners-[spit]" Chef spat right in his face

"Well now that's just plain rude, but then again-[SPIT]"

"HEY!"

"So was that." Brown spat his entire dip onto Chef's face. "Use him as hog slop!" he ordered

"Right away Daddy." she picked Chef up over her head, and led him to the pig pen

"Hey-whooooa Nelly!" she tossed him in "Ah!" Chef looked up, and there, at the other side of the pen, was a large altered pig, charging at him

"Eat him up Piggy!"

"OIIIIIINK!"

"NYAHHH!" Chef yelled running around the pen trying to find an exit. Sadie Mae walked back to her dad, counting some money.

"Runs pretty fast for a fat boy-"

"Snookered again."

"Huh?" she looked confused

he held up a stack of cash, on top was an actual bill, below it, just green paper.

"Always check the money first honey, check your shoes for what the cow left and check your money. Two solid rules"

"I'm sorry Daddy." then Farmer Brown picked up what looked as though a Bat Tracking device tucked under the money clip.

"Typical."

Back in the pen Chef managed to reach the edge of the fence, but he was too tired to climb it, Piggy was set to give it one more charge.

"Nyah!" Bullock yelled, though fortunately, he was saved by the sidekicks, Batgirl swooped in tossing a bat bolo at the hind legs, causing it to slide, whereas Robin launched three tranquilizers into it's snout. The momentum was too much, and the pig crashed right into Bullock, breaking the fence.

CRASH! The two farmers went to investigate. They saw a broken fence, a sedated pig, a tired out Bullock, but no sign of the Bat team. Suddenly, from the (I really say suddenly a lot) Batgirl leaped from the windmill above for a falcon kick on Sadie-Mae, only for it to do nothing and for Batgirl to land flat on her back. Sadie-Mae picked her up by the collar with just one hand.

"Oh boy."

"Beef Steroids." she explained before -[WHACK]

Farmer brown looked around with his remote control pitchfork, Batman jumped from the truck behind him, Brown being too smart, stuck his flying torso with the blunt end and tossed him down

"Aw!" Batman quickly sprawled getting neutral, the two circled each other, Brown, was ready to charge

"YEE-HAW!" he gave a few jabs at Batman, who motioned to Robin to sneak up from behind, only for the wise old Farmer to whack him down with the blunt end of the pitchfork.

"Oof!"

It wasn't long before he had Batman on his back, though he was quick to throw the farmer off of him. With the press of the remote, the pitchfork grew sparkly.

"Guess we can't do this the old fashioned way." he sprayed electric shocks missing Batman. Though getting a Batarang ready, he thought he could defeat him, until turning around he saw the farmer had Robin.

"Grunt-grunt-lemme go-erg!"

"I'll be taking that snazzy belt of yern." he said. Defeated, Batman dropped his device.

The team found themselves inside a grain silo, Brown and his daughter stood right outside.

"Thought this would be a good thing to keep ya, til this thing, takes off." Farmer Brown explained

"Takes off?" Batgirl asked

"It's actually a rocket Bat-Folks, set to land in Central Park Lake." suddenly they all heard the sound of groaning above them

"What's that noise?" Robin asked

"Insects." Batman said without looking up. Turns out, there were multiple cocoons of mantis nests above them. "It's a hive."

"Yes sir, with bigger, and better, more long lasting bugs. And the good people of New York City will make sure they're fed for a good long time, if you know what I mean?" and for whatever reason he looks directly at the camera in this scene. "Adios." he pressed a button on the pitchfork, the door closed and the silo rumbled. "Come on honey, we got about a minute to get to the boat." they rushed the hell out of there.

Inside the silo they could see the cocoons becoming weak, one was about to hatch.

"So you survive the Joker and the rest of those freaks, only to buy it from Jed Clampet and a bunch of bugs, and I gotta be here to see it." Bullock said

"Not helping Bullock!"

"Lookout!" Batgirl yelled as one insect hit the floor.

"NOBODY MOVE!" Batman ordered. "He you!" he got the bug's attention "That's right, look at me!" the bug thrashed, right at the door, getting it's claws stuck in it, it tore the door off the hinges. "COME ON!" Batman ordered everyone ran from the silo. "Get out of here now!" he ordered. The three hastily retreated towards the nearest exit.

Batman ran for the truck, the silo was ready to take off, he drove the truck right to the hill above where it took off, he drove the truck off the hill, jumping just in time as the driver's side door was blown away from the fighting.

The truck got stuck in the doorway, causing a small explosion, fire and goop oozed from the silo as it took off. On the boat, Brown and his daughter watched from the boat, having no idea.

"It's purdy ain't it Daddy?"

"That it is pumpkin, that it is." then the rocket exploded over the bay BOOOOOOOM "But that's not! Dagnabbit!" he threw his hat down in anger. debris fell from the sky, really big pieces which destroyed the boat, effectively sinking it. The two farmers were trapped.

The four watched from the island.

"Now that's purdy." Batgirl chuckled

Back on dry land, Bullock led the two into the SWAT wagon.

"Well today's certainly been a fine howdy-doo."

"Don't sweat it pops it's only 10-20, and hey, maybe we can find you and Daisy Mae a nice prison farm in Arizona!" Chef sneered

"IT'S SADIE-MAE YOU FAT UGLY-"

"Yeah whatever. Okay Pierce get em out of here!" Chef ordered

"Yes sir Lieutenant." the wagon drove away, Chef turned to Chris

"I'm thinking about becoming a vegetarian."

"When pigs fly." the commissioner simply said

"Eh after what I saw in the passed several days, I'd buy it." Chef added

**The End...**

**Alright! Whose ready for some Two-Faced, flaming girl-on-girl, revenge action? I know I am, review as always, and remember, no animals were harmed in the making of this episode. **

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Peter Breck: **Farmer Brown

**Tara Strong: **Sadie-Mae Brown, Trent's date

**Frank Welker: **Critters

**Tom Kane: **press man, additional voices

**Dorian Harewood: **judge, chopper pilot, additional voices

**Lauren Tom: **chopper pilot, additional voices

**Corey Burton: **sergeant, additional voices

**Tress MacNeille: **additional voices

**Jim Meskimen: **additional voices


	145. First, Dig TWO Graves, Part I

**Villain(s): Two-Face, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn**

**Episode Archive: SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri**

**Teleplay By: Tom Ruegger&Bruce W. Timm**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 71: ...First, Dig Two Graves**

Twas a half moonlit evening just outside of Gotham City. At an abandoned botanical gardens in the lengthy Long Island woods. In this building slept Lindsey and Izzy, together. But, as the evening dry mouth came a-calling. Lindsey awoke from bed, in need of something cool and refreshing, other than her roommates spit.

Lindsey yawned, scratched her back, and sauntered her way into the kitchen, she opened the age old Tom&Jerry 1950's refrigerator to see if there was something to quench the blonde's insatiable thirst.

"Okay let's see here." she said. "Chlorophyl, chlorophyl, chlorophyl-ah yes Sunny D!" she grabbed the half drunk bottle of the citrus high fructose goodness, and placed it to her lips. Seriously, if there is anything more refreshing than an ice cold Sunny D, I don't care to know about it.

"Gulp-gulp-gulp-gulp-ahhhhhhhh, that was refreshing." the ditz said throwing the empty bottle right to the floor. But something didn't seem right after that...something didn't look right...smell, right.

"Sniff-sniff-something doesn't...sniff-sniff, smell right." she pondered...come on woman I gotta graduate in 4 months! "Sniff-sniff-SMOKE!" there it is "And where's there's smoke there's...water, right." No you dumbass, fire "Oh yeah right-right-right-FIRE! REEEEEEED! RED! RED! RED! Red wake up!" Lindsey dashed back into the bedroom, trying to awake a sleeping Ivy.

"Erg-please deposit one kiss to continue the call." she smirked half asleep. Lindsey sighed, and quickly gave her on again off again flame a peck on her lips. "Much better." she opened her eyes

"Red wake up, there's a fire! We gotta get out of here!" Harley screamed with haste in her voice

"If that was another ginger joke it's only funny when it's not 3 in the morning."

"No Red I'm serious! There's an actual fire! We gotta get out immediately!"

"Yeah okay harl-sniff-sniff-smoke!"

"Told ya."

"Oh God!" Izzy leaped from her bed, and ran to the entrance of the attached greenhouse, where all her plants were peacefully-BURNING

"NOOOOOOOO! MY BABIESSSSSSS!" Izzy yelled with tears halfway down her face

"Hey-hey, OUR babies." Lindsey reminded her like this whole situation was just a fine howdy doo.

"You ditz! All of them, they're...they're gone! All my beautiful plants, ashes! FUCKING ASHES!" Izzy screamed "We gotta get out of here."

"Wait, hold on!" Lindsey ran back into the bedroom.

"Linds no!"

"Just run out, I'll be right there, I promise."

Izzy dashed out of the smoldering lair, looking into the burning greenhouse, all of her plants were nothing but ash, and...more ash. Like something out of a Richard Nixon dream. Izzy kept weeping, until, Lindsey ran from the lair, carrying both costumes, some makeup, two pictures, and two potted rose plants.

"HARL!" Izzy yelled running up to give her girl a big hug.

"Iz-I'm okay I'm-"

"Lindsey please listen!" she sobbed "Promise me...p-p-p-p-promise me, you'll-you'll never-never leave me."

"Of course Red-"

"Cause...you're all I got left." she sobbed. "All I got left." she retorted.

"It's okay...but uh, we should really find better cover."

Lindsey lead Izzy deeper into the woods, meanwhile on a nearby hill, a shadowy figure looked over the smoldering wreckage, smirking.

"Ha-ha, phase one complete...commencing phase two-heh-heh-heh-heh." he walked away.

Deeper into the woods, a sobbing Ivy put on her costume, and watched the greenhouse fall apart like the house of Usher.

"It's okay Red-"

"Okay...OKAY? I spent weeks stealing all those plants only for them to be torched! And now with us homeless and penniless everything is suddenly okay?" she asked angrily

"Were not penniless." Lindsey opened a strong box she recovered from the house. "See, all the dough we've collected since we last escaped."

"Oh, that's-wow Lindsey, good work." Izzy said feeling slightly better

"And, I got two of your favorites, the Red Thorny Rose, and the wild blue poinsettia, the worlds ony non-red poinsettia."

"My favorites!" she gave Harley a hug. "This nearly makes everything better." they shared a kiss-awww. "What did you get?"

"Oh these two pictures, this ones got you and me together, and this is my favorite, it's my twelfth birthday picture with Harleen."

"Oh, right."

"Wait a sec-Harleen! She has an apartment in Westbrook how could I forget."

"Westbrook? That's on on Central Island. And are you sure it's okay if we just-barge in?"

"Uh, it's not not like shes using it, come on." they ran back to the untouched "Rosebud" and drove back into Gotham City.

Harleen's apartment was modernish at best, and she kept it nice. Though the smell of dust was most certainly filling the air.

"Well, it'll have to do." Izzy said plopping onto a nearby couch.

"Now that were safe, who do you think torched our lair?" Harley asked

"I'll tell ya who, the only person in this world who hates me more than my own mother."

"Who?"

"Alejandro." Ivy squinted with venom in her voice. "He's still pissed I bet from me trying to off him years ago...guess some grudges never fade." she shrugged

"Well I think that's kinda reasonable ya know an eye for an eye-tooth for a tooth-LIFE FOR A LIFE!" Harley reminded her...loudly.

"Calm down there miss uptight britches, this gives us the perfect opportunity to plot revenge." that made Harley smile

"I agree, but first let's get some sleep I'm tired."

"Agreed."

Across the street at another building the same figure looked at the two.

"hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm."

The following afternoon, Alfred was using his break time in the back yard, finding some zen.

"[THWACK]-YES! Good show!" and by zen, I mean whacking golf balls over the cliff, which would land right into the Ocean below. Trent walked over to his long time guardian coming home after a long days work of being a billionaire.

"Uh, what are you doing Alfred?"

"Just releasing some stress sir?" Alfred said without looking back.

"Right, you are aware, you are never getting those balls back correct?"

"I'm aware of that yes."

"Just checking."

"So, listening to the radio today sir?"

"No, why?" Trent asked, he sat at the nearby gazebo, reading over some mail.

"Someone set arisen to the old Botanical Gardens just outside of town."

"Oh really? When?" an uninterested Trent asked without looking up.

"Fire Marshall predicted sometime between 1 and 4 in the morning." Alfred explained giving another ball a one way ticket to Davy Jones Locker.

"Okay, so someone torched a condemned unoccupied building outside my jurisdiction, no offense Alfred, but stopping a couple wannabe robbers in Bayside is a tad more important than that."

"Well would it peak your interest if I told you it was once occupied by Ms. Quinn and Ms. Isley?"

"Probably not." Trent shrugged

"Oh really...not even if EVERY single plant was burned along with it?" Trent looked up.

"What? It wasn't a scuttle?"

"Nope."

"Then someone really wanted them gone." the bat pondered

"Yes, question is, who?"

"Huh, so many they could have their own convention." suddenly Geoff rolled toward them.

"I got it!"

"Good show Master Geoffrey, and to think it only took you 20 years to learn how make toast."

"Hmm-hmm-hmm." Trent chuckled

"Grr-anyway, no; I finally thought of a new super-hero persona, given my current state of immobility."

"And?" Trent asked

"Yes, don't keep us in suspense now." Alfred grinned picking up a 9 iron.

"Check it...Nighthacker-huh...huh?"

"Eh, doesn't exactly roll off the tongue." Alfred shrugged polishing his club

"Dontcha know when you're being ignored?" Geoff asked

"Dont you know when you're being outwit?"

"After living here for 13 year-yes."

"Well that answers that question."

"God, Alfred's on a roll today." Trent nodded "Seriously Geoff, I think it's great your coping well with your disability, I'm proud of you. It'll be nice to have someone be our eyes and ears to help us on the battlefield."

"Thank you." Trent then came to a piece of mail which peaked his interest.

"No way."

"What?"

"You wouldn't know her-Alfred, guess who wrote me?"

"If it's another love letter from Ms. Ghul or Ms. Kyle, I'm afraid were running out of room in the fireplace." the butler informed him

"Andrea Beaumont." Trent simply said, which caused a surprised Alfred to throw his iron mid swing.

"WHAT?"

"Who?"

"Don't worry about it."

"What does the letter say?" Alfred asked

"Said she misses me and plans to return to Gotham next year, she has some things she needs to take care of." Spinoff alert!

"Hmm, is this one of those old flames never die kind of things?" Geoff asked

"Give that man a prize." Trent smirked

"I'm out." Geoff rolled away

"What do you think?" Trent asked

"As the young people say sir: Run man, run."

Back at her sisters apartment, Harley was humming a tune while she prepared dinner.

"Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmmhmhmhmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm." her theme music of course. But again, something didn't feel right, she felt as though she wasn't alone. Maybe it was the fact that when she closed the fridge door, Two-Face stood there, and the dumbass didn't notice.

"Huh, that's weird...that bottle of paprika wasn't opened when I last checked." she closed the lid. "There, all bet-mmmmm." he snuck up from behind and muffled her.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Don't take it personally Ms. Quinn, you are merely an unfortunate victim of circumstance." he chuckled.

"Mm-mm-mmmmm-mmm."

"Yeah, I missed you too." he took a chloroform soaked rag, and placed it over her mouth. "But not that much." he approached a large window, just in time to see Batgirl swing through it

CRASH

"Games over Dent!"

"Not that was just rude." he shook his head. When Batgirl came in for another drop kick, she got a firm sock to the gut

"OOF!" she hit the ground, hard.

"Every...time." she groaned trying to get a breath

"Well Bats, as always it's been a pleasure, but I really must be going." suddenly a helicopter positioned itself right next to the window. "Gotta two part plan to complete. When Ivy gets back, let her know how much I've missed her company, and tell her to call me the moment she gets home, ta-ta." Two-Face hopped onto the chopper, as an injured Batgirl watched with a face of disdain.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-haahaaha-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAHAHA!" he flew away.

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**I decided to put the information containing the spinoff after the conclusion of the next chapter...I'm sure the suspense is killing you. =)**


	146. First, Dig TWO Graves, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Moments later, Izzy walked through the front door, unaware her main squeeze was just snatched.

"Honey I'm home! I stole soooooo much stuff from Home Depot, ya know since that rat bastard Dent torched all my gardening tools I had to-Harl?" she noticed the hole in the window. Suddenly Batgirl picked herself up. "You!"

"Ivy!" she yelped weakly "I don't know how you got in here? But I know for sure how you're getting out!" she took two spiked seeds out of nowhere. "The hard and painful way."

"Ivy listen to me...first off, I may or may not have a collapsed lung-"

"Wonderful!" she smiled

"Erg, well you won't be so chipper when I tell you Dent absconded with Harley!"

"GASP! That little weasely- conniving-Two-Faced...grr-TWO-FACE!" She shouted "She was all I had left...and now...he's taken everything I ever loved! BOTH OF EM!" she fumed

"No don't worry about me or anything I'm fine." Batgirl groused staggering to her feet.

"Oh that's it! Someone's gotta do something about Dent! Looks like it's gonna be me! And-you're helping me Batgirl!"

"Fine, but only cause it's in my nature, and believe me, I'm not forgetting the time you kissed me, beat me, or tried to kill me, just cause it's my job. Got it?"

"Yeah-yeah whatever, you coming or what?"

"Yeah, fine...you know where Dent may be hiding?"

"Uh...if I had to guess-oh, when we were still dating, he used to love to take me to shows at the old Double-Feature Theatre in Park Row, but the place closed like a year ago I doubt anyone would be there."

"Well then, to Crime Ally!" Batgirl fired a bat hook to an adjacent building. Once the line was taut she put out a hand. "Hop on."

"Wow, holding hands on the first date, how charming." Ivy joked and jumped on her back

"Not a date." Batgirl grit her teeth

"Sure, whatever you say." they swung to the building.

At said movie theatre, Two-Face had Harley tied onto an upright board in the projector room, Al was starring out one of the cracks of the boarded up window, waiting for Ivy to arrive, he was sure she would.

"Yes sir, won't be long now." He said flipping his coin.

"Why Al...why Red?" Harley asked weakly. Two-Face turned to her

"Well you see Harley, when someone tries to murder you, one is typically overcome with grief and most importantly-ANGER!" he smashed a fist into the wall, not feeling a thing. "And I want REVENGE!"

"Not just for me! But for that puss Alejandro!" Two-Face yelled "That stuck up bitch would have wiped me out too!"

"Wait...what?"

"You just don't get it do you!" he fumed "There's two of me you annoying little fool!" Harley cringed "You know, I was just gonna whack Iz and let you go on your merry way, but now I think I'm gonna change all that, with the only way I know how." Two-Face took out his coin. "Are you smart enough to know what your possible fates are?" he asked. Harley welled up, but nodded slowly. "Good-[plink]" the coin landed in his hand, and Two-Face flipped it over to the other fore-palm.

Inside the Bat-Cave Trent was suiting up for the evening, he was joined by Nighthacker, and Alfred.

"Why would she write you now, after all these years?"

"Shes obviously in the neighborhood for some help financially, or who knows, perhaps shes just happy to see me after all these years?" Batman shrugged

"You? Perish the thought." Alfred joked

"So, am I going to learn about this mystery girl?"

"In due time Master Geoffrey, in due time." Alfred assured him.

"Oh joy."

"I can assure you this Geoff, shes a good egg, shes...we just-"

"As you kids say: Sh*t went down-"

"Right-right, thank you Alfred."

"Don't mention it sir."

"Hmm-you think Bridgette's patrolling already?" Nighthacker asked changing the subject

"I guess, shes been having one of those weeks." Batman assumed

"Boy do I know those weeks." Nighthacker shook his head. Suddenly, a transmission came in

"_Come in, Batman, do you read me, over?"_

"Loud and clear Batgirl, where are you?"

"_En route to the old Double Feature in Crime Ally, Two-Face kidnapped Quinn, I think he wants some kind of revenge on Ivy, apparently he-"_

"Let me guess, set arisen to their lair last night?"

"_Uh, yeah; h-how did-"_

"Lucky guess, I'll be there soon Batgirl, just get there."

"_Roger that chief."_

"Hmm, figures, a two-obsessed maniac, at a double feature movie theater." Alfred shook his head

"And it works so perfectly too." Batman began "He's destroying the only two things Izzy cares for the most...once they're gone, he'll destroy her too."

And back at the theater.

"Well well Harley, you get to fall into my list of victims that cheat death...for now." Two-Face continued to flip his coin.

"You sure there's no other way to end this peacefully?" Harley asked

"Nope, we'll keep going at it til one of us dies, that's how the game works you see."

"Right, a game, I get it." she sighed

"Ha-ha I can't wait to see the look on her face...she might cry...oh I'd like to see that...tell me something Harl, what did her face look like when she first discovered I torched each individual plant...slowly? Was it painful, with anguish? Hmm? Cause that's how I looked when I passed out into my damn chocolate mousse!" Two-Face fumed

"Okay-okay I see you're frustrated."

"No, really? Oh you really are a genius! No wonder Joker uses you like a pair of sneakers-oops, did I let that one slip?"

"DON'T YOU-EVEEEEEER! Talk like that about Mistah J!"

"Uh, last time I checked, I was talking about you." he looked out the window "Whoop-hold that thought...ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, they're heeeeeeeeere." he said eerily.

"Wait, they?"

"Yeah, looks like old Batgirl decided to tag along huh? Well I can fix t-[]-oop, call." Two-Face opened his cell phone

"_Dent! What the hell?"_

"Smithy? Where are-how are-how did you get my number?"

"_Never mind that-how can you steal my kidnapping murder idea? That was my thing dammit!"_

"Who dat?" Harley asked

"Freeze." Two-Face shrugged "Look Dora, I'm gonna have to call you back I am in the process of completing my revenge on this evening, and if you ask me, not a moment too soon."

"_You conniving-little-"_

"Whoops, going through a tunnel-[cruuuuuuunch]-whoops wait, no I'm not." Two-Face chuckled as he crunched his phone to pieces

"What did she want?"

"Who cares? Does she ever really want anything besides a swift kick in the ass?"

"Good point."

Batgirl and Ivy stood outside the boarded up entrance.

"So, any ideas on how to get in?"

"You're the detective Brat-girl, you tell me."

"Well, I guess we could-"

"EEEER-wrong answer, must I do everything." Ivy stuck some seeds into the keyhole of the lock. "We should see results in 3-2-1-[crunch]" they ate away at the lock and chains and the door flung open. "Ladies first." Ivy offered

"Uh, thanks I think." Batgirl walked in with Ivy behind her.

"Alright Dent! Where are ya? Where's my Harleykins!"

"One word and your done, got it?" Two-Face whispered to Harley with his gun aimed, she simply nodded

"Come on out Two-Face!"

"Yeah it's two against one-and yes, you count as one!" both girls entered the main theater, the projector from above suddenly started playing.

"Let's take a walk down memory lane, shall we Izzy?" it was the camera feed from the Rose Cafe in Pretty Poison

"No way." Ivy looked at it in amazement

"_No I insist, spend some time with your crazy friend, and call me the minute you get home, Mr. District Attorney-mhmnmhmnmmhmnmhmnmhm."_

"Wow, that's a long kiss, and this is coming from me." Batgirl said

"_Well, what do you think?"_

"_What do I think? Does she have a sister?"_

"_Nope, Pam is one of a kind, that's why I asked her to marry me-"_

_SPITTAKE_

"_What?"_

"_Yup, made the page one headline-God is it getting hot in here?"_

"_You'e still flushed from that last kiss-Al, you just met her a few weeks ago."_

"_And I already know shes the one...God it's like a sauna in here."_

"_Marriage is a big step Al, you sure you're not rushing it?"_

"_No way, the moment I laid eyes on Iz, the love hit me right in the face-[smoosh]"_

"_Ha-ha, Al you've lost your mind...Al-Alejandro!"_ the film ended there

"Huh, I don't remember sounding like that?" Ivy pondered

"I enhanced the audio to make us all sound older." the camera Al was using was attached to the projector so the girls could see what was going on upstairs "And now Isabelle Lillian Isley, you get to watch as I destroy the last good thing in you're life! Just like you tried to destroy me!" he took aim at Harley

"No! Help me-RED!"

"HARLEY! I'M COMING BABY!" she threw down some quick grow vines, which shot her to toe projection room, with Batgirl close behind.

It looked like they would be too late, Ivy peered inside, to see Two-Face was about to pull the trigger, but something stopped him...kinda like 210 pounds of something. Batman barged through the window and drop kicked Two-Face to the floor

"Oof!"

"See, why can't I do that?" Batgirl asked

"Grr! Bats!" Two-Face staggered to his feet, only for Batman to lay punch after punch on his former best friend.

"Oof-Aw-Aieeee!" Finally it seemed Two-Face was beat.

"Okay-no more-no more!" he begged

"Good, now all that's left is to-[click]" Ivy stood diagonal holding his gun pointed right between the line of symmetry.

"Ivy no!" Batman ordered

"No way Bats! Al nearly took the last remaining good thing I had in this world! I can't let him walk for that! How's this for revenge Dent-MURDERER!" suddenly, before she shot, Batgirl knocked the gun away with a Batarang.

"Huh, what?"

"Uh-uh-uh." she waved her finger, and held out cuffs.

The police arrived outside ready to take the three back to Arkham.

"Well I hoped you all learned a very valuable lesson today."

"What are you going to give us a lecture?" Two-Face Scoffed

"Just a quick one... "When embarking on a journey of revenge, you must first dig TWO graves." with that the caped crusader turned to leave."

**The End...**

**Alright boys and girls-up next we got some Catwoman up next, getting a little out of Gotham with a surprise or two thrown in. So get ready-REVIEW don't do drugs and stay in school! PEACE!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Nighthacker

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Marco Grazzini: **Alejandro Dent/Two-Face

**Katie Crown: **Izzy Isley/Poison Ivy

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Lindsey Quinzel/Harley Quinn

**Jennifer Hale: **Dora Smithy

_**In Flashbacks...**_

**Richard Moll: **Alejandro Dent

**Kevin Conroy: **Trent Wayne

**Diane Pershing: **Izzy Isley


	147. All You Need To Tnow About The Spin Off

**Some of you are wondering, what is with the spinoff? Well I'm-a here to tell you why! So read that sh*t!  
**

**First off, mentioned in the series finale, a situation will arise that will send Trent off on a global mission to stop the villainous conquests of Hugo Strange, Ra's Al Ghul, and Lock-Up. Joined with him are Cody, Sara, Gwen and Heather (so they can stay closer to Trent). As a front, Trent is using the excuse to travel to his various Wayne Enterprise franchises to see how his company is prospering, while Lucius deals with affairs back home. **

**Speaking of Back Home, Batgirl, as well as Mayor Hill (Vintage Batman or Vbat), with Night Hacker are left to fend the city from whatever lurks. Cody's brother Jason, will also at some point join the crew as the new Robin, or maybe even as a secret persona as Red Hood. Since someone more responsible should watch the house other than Geoff, Mayor Hill, his son Jordan, and Bridgette move into Wayne manor. But, new problems arise for Batgirl. An old flame of Trent's named Andrea Beaumont returns to the city, around the same time as a new murderous villain Phantasm, a villain described by Joker as the Ghost of Christmas Future. Beaumont's deceased father Carl was once an investment banker who got in big with the mob, and in a few details too complicated to explain, Joker killed him in a mob hit. Andrea returned to the city to cleanse Gotham of it's costumed menaces when she is appointed District Attorney alongside Beth Van Dorn. Beaumont is also an appointed city councilman. It doesn't take long for Batgirl to expose Phantasm as Beaumont, only for her to retaliate, frame Batgirl for the crime, so basically Batgirl spends the entire series (so far) as an outlaw, that fights crime. It isn't long for Beaumont to learn her identity, and become a thorn in her side in other ways. Bridgette is also joined by the Creeper. All of your favorite villains return, as well as some new ones that just pop out of my little head. **

***Basically, it's two separate planes in one. Primarily, the story takes place in Gotham, but on the other plane, will consist of several episodes per season revolving around Trent and his travels. **

***Andrea Beaumont and or Phantasm occur in every episode somehow in the Gotham plane and will serve as the primary antagonist in the series**

***Ra's Al Ghul occurs in every episode somehow in the worldwide plane. And will serve as Batman's primary antagonist. **

***Andrea Beaumont will be mentioned in the series finale, and her back story will be more easier to understand. (for the sake of time I will only explain characters unfamiliar to you)**

**Protagonists-Gotham**

**Kristen Fairlie as _ Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl_**

**Kevin Conroy as _Mayor Hamilton Hill/Vintage Batman (Just credited as Batman, unless around Trent)_**

**David McCallum as _Alfred Pennyworth_**

**Christian Potenza as _Commissioner Chris Gordon_**

**Dan Petronijevic as _Geoff Grayson/Night Hacker_**

**Tara Strong: _Rebecca Beaumont- _**Daughter of Andrea Beaumont. Who Made friends quickly with Bridgette Gordon, and after learning about her being Batgirl, secretly sabotages her psycho mother's plan to eradicate her, while trying not to let her mother know shes helping her.

**David Kaufman as _Jason Todd Drake/Red Robin_**

**Cle Bennett: _Detective-Captain Harvey 'Chef' Bullock (Chef gets promoted)_**

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: _Detective-Lieutenant Courtney Montoya_ _(unpromoted as of yet, of wit she is not happy about)_**

**Jeff Bennett: _Jack Ryder/The Creeper_**

**Rob Paulsen: _Co-Commissioner Gil Mason_**

**Tress MacNeille: _Jordan Hill- _**Son of Mayor Hill. Usually keeps to himself, greatest dream in life is to become a professional magician.

**Scott Menville: _Red Hood (voice)- _**Jason's more secretive "rogue" alter-alter ego, surfaces when reconnaissance and brutal force is required in situations. Red helmet alters Jason's original voice.

**Mari Devon: _Summer Gleeson_**

**Sarah Gadon: _Beth Van Dorn_**

**Protagonists-Worldwide**

**Scott McCord: _Trent Wayne/Batman_**

**Peter Oldring: _Cody Drake/Robin_**

**Megan Fahlenbock: _Gwen Kyle/Catwoman_**

**Rachel Wilson: _Heather Al Ghul_**

**Mae Whitman: _Sara Rhinehart/The Exterminator_**

**Diane Pershing: _Maryanne Thatcher- _**An archeologist, married to British archeologist Grant Thatcher. Mary is usually in it for the thrill of the adventure, and wants to follow in her husbands dream of smashing his former teacher.

**Jess Harnell: _Grant Thatcher- _**Husband to Mary. Grant is British, and was once a student of Ra's Al Ghul's when he taught archeology at Oxford University. A dig in Burma where Grant learned of Ra's true intentions caused him to break away, and stop the psycho terrorist, so him and his wife follow Batman and his team to stop his global conquests.

**Antagonists-Gotham**

**Dana Delaney: _Andrea Beaumont- _**former love interest of Trent, lost her father to a mob hit by Joker from an old disagreement over money. Returned to Gotham to get her murderous revenge while being a city councilman and District Attorney to gain respect as well as throw people off her trail. Discovers Batgirl as an early thorn in her side, and frames her for a murder she committed. Causing Batgirl to become a crime fighting outlaw. Is the primary antagonist throughout the series.

**Clancy Brown: _Phantasm (voice)- _**Beaumont's alter villainous ego, described by Joker as the ghost of Christmas future. A metal skull like mask, alters her voice to be deep, sinister, and evil sounding. Costume consists of a tight black body suit, gray robe and hood, with the metal skull-like mask, and an interesting ax attachment on the right hand.

**Drew Nelson: _Joker_**

**Marco Grazzini: _Two-Face_**

**Stephanie Ann Mills: _Harley Quinn, The Ventriloquist_**

**Mark Hamill: _The Greed Goblin (For the sake of Marvel Copyrights, his name has been altered) _**

**Scott McCord: _Penguin_**

**Katie Crown: _Poison Ivy_**

**Carter Hayden: _Riddler_**

**Adam Reid: _Killer Croc_**

**Cle Bennett: _Bane_**

**Peter Oldring: _Scarecrow_**

**Jennifer Hale: _Mrs. Freeze_**

**Lauren Lipson: _Sadieface_**

**Brian Froud: _The Mad Hatter_**

**Julia Chantrey: _Red Claw_**

**Arleen Sorkin: _Nurse Pain_**

**S. Scott Bullock: _Shifty_**

**Billy West: _Blast_**

**Rob Paulsen: _Snatch_**

**Annick Obonsawin: _Firefly_**

**Carla Collins: _Clayface _**

**Paul Sorvino: _Rupert Thorne_**

**Grey DeLisle: Lacey Delmonico/_Catgirl- _**High school student Lacey Delmonico seems like your average everyday, mild-mannered high school student, but with one major vice, she just can't stop stealing. With Catwoman's absence she uses this opportunity to become Catgirl, the cat themed professional thief, with all the acrobatics, and 3 times the rage of the original.

**James Arnold Taylor: _Thrash- _**Once a renown wrestler, Peter Dawes a traumatic event caused him to go roid rage insane, just not to Bane proportions. Thrash is wrestling obsessed and mad as hell. He is a force to be reckoned with and will provide the strength as well as the smarts and the cunning to boot.

**Lauren Tom: _Lotus Blade- _**Yuri Takamura, a Japanese immigrant who part time mercenary, part time ninja and full time college intern at basically makes her living as a hired gun-er-sward. And is quickly employed by Phantasm to help take out her most annoying pesky enemies, that bat team.

**John Glover: _Dr. Hans Steinreich_**

**Dee Bradley Baker: _Angry Hans_**

**Maurice LaMarche: _Count Vertigo_**

**Antagonists-Worldwide**

**David Warner: _Ra's Al Ghul_**

**Richard Moll: _Lock-Up_**

**Corey Burton: _Hugo Strange_**

**Jim Cummings: _Ubu _**

**John DiMaggio: _Ash Nault- _**Ash is a retired Navy Seal down on his luck. Until he stumbles upon Ra's Al Ghul, where he quickly becomes the league of shadow's lead assassin, much to the chagrin of Batman and his team in stopping Ra's. Ash is extremely smart and could kick anyone's ass a million different ways from here to Sunday. He is the only worldwide villain that will crossover into the Gotham City crew to cause havoc there.

**Christy Carlson-Romano: _Marauder- _**Gwen Kyle has met her match. The Marauder, better known as famed art critic Kara DiCenzo, is a master thief, possibly better than Gwen. She is Ra's top Intel gatherer, and is stealthy as the day is long. She makes nothing easy for her enemies.

**Tom Kane: _Gerry Moriarty- _**British philanthropist and Statesman, college rival to Grant Thatcher. Gerry is a spoof on Sherlock Holmes nemesis Prof. Moriarty. He provides Ra's with alibis, and money to help fund his world conquering schemes.

**Will Freidle: _Alexei Moriarty- _**Gerry's adopted Russian born son. Though he has no accent, Alexei possesses all the strength, power, cunning, and fortitude as your typical Spetsnaz or KGB agent, maybe even then some. He develops a secret crush on Sara early on, but she (and Cody) want none of that.

**Dorian Harewood: _Boxer- _**A large man hired by Ra's to act as a second bodyguard, much like Ubu. Though Boxer, whose real name is Andre Boylan is less over zealous and more charming according to Maryann, much to the ire of Grant and the others.

**Kevin Michael Richardson: _Chop Suey- _**Roy Chang is A Chinese businessman who once funded Hugo Strange's criminal enterprise is promised the deal of a lifetime if he and his crew allow themselves to work for Ra's. He basically controls a mob which provides muscle and more positive PR when Ra's comes to town.

**Tom Kenny: _Mansfield- _**essentially Ra's yes man, who more or less acts as their syndicates version of Alfred, only more timid and dim in the head.

**If any questions arise, just PM or review me, remember this is always subject to change. Suggestions are always appreciated**

**PEACE! **


	148. Jolly Old Bounty, Part I

**Villain(s): Catwoman, The Exterminator&Tuck, The Terrible Trio**

**Episode Archive: LOUD NOISES!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Dan Riba**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini&Michael Reaves**

**Art Direction: Chris Tucker&Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 72: Jolly Old Bounty**

Twas an evening in Buckingham palace, where the sh*t was as ornate as an Upper Crust concert, and the people sure love to drink tea and eat little cakes and such. Anyway, there was to be a party that evening, and the Secret Service head was speaking to the party planner, in their British accents.

"Higgins."

"Yes Agent Ashcroft?"

"Is everything set for this evening?" he asked taking a piece of shrimp.

"Why yes of course sir, I spared no expense to make sure everything was perfect for this evenings gala."

"Splendid, I don't think I have to remind you that her majesty will be in attendance this evening ?" the agent said quite sternly.

"No of course not sir."

"Good, because the Prince and Princess will be in attendance as well."

"What?"

"Yup, so I don't want anything muck ups on this one Higgins, one wrong move-one wrong streamer, could mean your job."

"Oh bullocks! The whole royal family!"

"Everyone dear boy, but my primary concern, are the Crown Jewels, did you display them on the podiums as I requested?"

"Of course."

"Uh...Higgins?"

"Yes sir?"

"Then. Where. Are. They?" Ashcroft looked at an empty podium

"Why they're right-GASP! The jewels, they're gone!"

"Someone's stolen them! Call Scotland Yard!" Ashcroft ordered suddenly, they noticed someone trying to sneak out of the nearest window.

"Oh-was uh, hoping to have escaped by now-guess that cat's out of the bag-hmm-hmm-hmm, sorry boys but it looks like the jewels are staying with me." Catwoman stuffed them into a sack, then escaped out of the window.

"I'll get Scotland Yard!" Higgins said hastily.

"They'll never catch her Higgins-get the SAS and call agent Fredrick, there's more than one way to catch a cat!"

"You sure sir?"

"...YOU'RE STILL HERE? GO MAN GO!"

If it's evening in the UK that means it's daytime in New York...I think. Well for the sake of argument, we take you now to the sunny Wayne Manor, where Trent was holding a barbecue celebrating the fourth of July, the most American of Holidays, anyone who thought they were anyone was there.

"Mayor Hill."

"Trent, a pleasure as always good sir." they shook hands "Just thought I would sample some of your wares before I uh-go to a big conference in The Financial District?" Hill said with a wink.

"Blonde or Brunette?"

"Redhead."

"Nice...aw dammit, looks like we need more cups." Trent noticed

"Where's Alfred?" Hill asked

"It's a holiday he's off, he's on a date with his girlfriend."

"Oh, well never you mind, I can get the cups."

"No Ham I couldn't impose-"

"No, not at all, where can I find them?"

"I think I got like 9 stacks in my study, near the desk."

"Odd place to put em, but I gotcha." Hill entered the house, his ultimatums fully realized.

Meanwhile Alfred was in fact on a date with Bionica, who was trying on clothes at Bergduffs, Gotham's premiere department stores, pork free for 35 years.

"I don't know Alfy, does it make the robotic arm look fat."

"It's alright I guess, but I'm not too keen on the color, too pink."

"What's wrong with pink?"

"I hate pink."

"Alright, what about the blue one, think it clashes with the red eye."

"On the contrary, it compliments it-oop, hold on my love, I have a call."

"Okay."

"Hello?"

"_Alfred?"_

"Fredrick? Is that you?"

"_Yes old boy, uh; I'm certain it's safe to say were in a bit of a sticky situation right now."_

"What kind of situation?" Alfred asked starring back at a changing Bionica

"_The kind where the Crown Jewels have been stolen-"_

"WHAT?"

"_Oh it gets better, that feline of yours-Catwoman, is the one who did the deed."_

"Hmm-I'm not surprised."

"_Point is old boy, I need you to get in contact with the Batman, and get him to London immediately."_

"Yes of course I'll...I'll call him."

"_Thanks old boy." _he hung up

"The Crown Jewels, oh Miss Kyle sure has done it this time." Alfred called the Bat-Cave, assuming Trent would be there.

Back home, Hill was looking through anything in the study but the cups, looking to see how he would get into the supposed Bat-Cave he was certain Trent would have.

"Alright Trent, where would you put it?" he asked himself. He looed along the book shelves and started to tear the books apart "Always looks in the movies." he scratched his head, and then noticed "The clock!" he pulled the pendulum, and sure enough "Yes! Ham you are a genius." he walked down the stairs and gazed in amazement. "Wow...twice the size as mine." then just as suddenly the speakers blared Alfred's voice

"_Master Trent-Master Trent are you there?"_

"Huh, gotta sound like Trent." Ham whispered "Uh yeah Alfred, I'm here."

"_Hmm, you alright."_

"S-sure...slight cold."

"_Oh, okay-well roll up your pants sir, storm's a-coming, I just got a call from Fredrick, ya know from England-get this, it seems Miss Kyle sure went off the deep end, she stole the crown jewels!" _

"Did she now?"

"_Yes, I'd hate to turn you away from your guests." Alfred said sarcastically "But you're needed in London immediately. Apparently Fredrick contacted the police here, and you are to pick up Detective's Montoya and Bullock before you leave."_

"I'll be there."

"_Perfect." the call ended_

"Excellent, another chance to relive the good old days." Ham suited up in his old Batman outfit. Then suddenly, Cody entered the Bat-Cave.

"Man that party could not be any lamer-Trent?"

"Cody! Suit up, were going to England?"

"Ugh-again, wait-wait a sec, what did you do to your suit...and your voice?"

"Oh uh...cold-cough-cough-and uh, it's a concept Lucius made."

"Oh right, that sounds like something he would do, alright let's go to England." he grabbed the Robin suit from the tank which held it, and suited up.

"We have to stop by Police Headquarters to pick up Bullock and Montoya, Fredrick wants them to tag along."

"Ugh, okay, at least the thing seats four." they hopped into the Bat-Wing. "So...you uh...gonna start this thing?"

"Uh yeah." Batman looked to find a button that would lead him to the direction of start. "Here we go." the wing started up. And quickly got the hang of it

"You sure you're okay?" Robin asked

"Yeah-I'm uh-I'm fine." Batman headed slowly for the exit, bring them out to the edge of the cliff, Batman was certain to fly as low and as quietly as he could.

"Uh, why you flying so low?" Robin asked

"Oh uh-wouldn't wanna spook anyone."

"Right, your party guests, good call." Just like Miller Light, good call.

They rushed off to the roof of police Headquarters where Chris and crew were already waiting.

"Commissioner."

"Ah I see a change in wardrobe, I assume Agent Fredrick briefed you?"

"No Alfe-I mean, yes, yes he did."

"Well here they are." Courtney and Chef approached the wing.

"Hey-you're wearing the outfit from the time the Terrible Trio broke in." Chef added

"Hmm-yeah, he is."

"I can assure you both it's simply a head cold, and a nice change of uniform." Batman assured them

"Whatever Pointy Ears, Time and a half is time and a half in my book." Chef shrugged, they hopped in.

"Good look, and bring me back some crumpets! … I like Crumpets!" Chris yelled before they flew away at lightspeed off to London.

Whereas Gwen Kyle was atop a flat, assuming it would be a safe spot as Scotland Yard and the police were all over her like tea on time.

"Ah, Gwen Kyle you are a genius, it was nice to get back into my old groove, and I know little Trentsy won't find me here...ah, oh how nice and shiny you will look over my mantle." she licked her lips eyeballing the sacred jewels in front of her.

"Yes, and your head will nice over mine." she heard the venomous voice of

"MEEOW-hisssssssss! Tuck."

"I happen to know those don't belong to you."

"Rhinehart." she hissed again.

"Don't forget us!" Shifty's voice said from her left.

"Oh no, not you guys too!"

The Terrible Trio stood at Catwoman's right.

"Now if I was you, I would just hand over the jewels and come with us, at least we'll leave you alive." Snatch added

"What are you talking about?" Catwoman asked casually placing her stolen goods into her sack.

"There's a bounty on your head beautiful." Blast began "15 million pounds dead or alive, along with the recovered Crown Jewels."

"Ha! Alive, like you lot would actually be true to that." Tuck laughed

"No seriously dude, were not all murderous assholes like you and your daughter." Shifty explained

"Yeah we just want Chris Gordon dead."

"Hey, I'm not his daughter!"

"And if you were is there a problem with that x?" says the father of the year

"Uh-no-no master of course not."

"Thought so...So Miss Kyle are you going to-huh?" she disappeared

"Hey!"

"Where's she go?"

"Down here fellas!" She was sliding down the roof

"After her!"

"Let's get her boys!"

Batman and his crew was quick to make to London, and check in at MI5, the Intelligence building right near Big Ben. Where they were greeted by Fredrick, Ashcroft, and two older gentlemen.

"Batman I presume?" Ashcroft asked

"Yes."

"Hmm-you look different." Frederick pondered

"Cold." Robin explained

"Uniform Crisis." Chef added

"Alright. Uh Batman this is Agent Ashcroft, Secret Service to Her Majesty."

Agent."

"Batman."

"Ahem."

"Ah yes, this man here is Gerald Moriarty and his colleague, Johnathon Collins."

"Pleased to meet a man with your credentials Batman." Collins said happily.

"Yes, it's an...honor to meet a man such as yourself." Gerald added "Shall we move along, lest Her Majesty finds out the Jewels have vanished?"

"Of course. Follow me please." Frederick led them inside "Much like your Central Intelligence Agency here at MI5 we specialize in Intelligence gathering and reconnaissance, in hopes that we can find Gwen Kyle."

"Yes but some of us tend to do silly things, like put bounties on people."

"Mind your tongue Johnathon." Moriarty ordered

"What does he mean?" Robin asked

"Gerald placed a bounty on your cat." John added

"You what?" Batman asked

"It was purely to get the jewels back Batman, you understand of course?"

"Erg-sure, I understand."

"Hate to break up the party, but local units found Catwoman running through Whitechapel, apparently being chased, by a suitable party." Ashcroft said getting the news from a soldier

"Hmm-seems my bounty wasn't so foolish after all." Moriarty said proudly "wouldn't you say Bat-man?" he noticed their party had vanished

"He's good at that." Frederick shook his head.

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	149. Jolly Old Bounty, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Alfred decided to check up on Trent, but little did he know.

"Hello?"

"_Master Trent. Just checking up on you-I heard your father's voice in my head and felt I should-anyway, how's the old country, or is this a bad time?"_

"Uh, what are you talking about Alfred?"

"_What do you mean? You're not in England yet?"_

"Yet? I never left, I've been here at the party, entertaining guests, and waiting for Ham Hill to get those cups for the past 3 hours-never mind that? Why would I be in England?" Trent asked

"_You sure you're the one not going senile sir? I called you hours ago, Fredrick called, Ms. Kyle stole the Crown Jewels, you said you had a cold or something, you master Cody went to retrieve them, and Detective's Bullock and Montoya were to assist, you left hours ago, with the wing's speed you should have been there by now."_

"What? . . . Wait a sec...Alfred, you don't think-"

"_This could be the same Bat-fraud from last time?"_

"Took the words right out of my mouth buddy."

"_Well, I could call Fredrick."_

"Nah, don't worry about it, I got guests to entertain, and obviously whoever he is, he's no amateur, I'll just question Cody when he gets back."

"_I'll keep you posted in case anything should come up."_

"Thanks buddy." end transmission . . . "Whoever this guy is...there's gotta be something he wants." Trent pondered

Right you are Trent! But what he wants, is a little street-JUSTICE! With a side of...uh...of...MORE JUSTICE! Batman and crew were driving in a borrowed van making haste to make their way towards Catwoman, who was being pursued in her stolen Mini Cooper. The Trio of Terrible were driving in a stolen van, Tuck and Exterminator were driving they're rented Japanese-holy-sh*t-those-things-are-fast-motorcycles. Suddenly Fredrick came over the van's GPS screen

"_Batman, I don't think I have to remind you the Crown Jewels must remain in tact."_

"Got it."

"_I'm serious dear boy." Moriarty added "The Queen named you personally, so don't fail."_

"_What? When did this happen?" Ashcroft asked_

"_Harrison my boy, did you honestly think she wouldn't notice?"_

"_Sigh-Godspeed Batman, just want to remind your team, the fate of the United Kingdom rests on your shoulders...no pressure." end transmission._

"Jeez, the Queen, wow." Courtney blushed

"You are aware were just muscle right?"

"Damn Chef, why do you always gotta be the ants at a picnic?" Robin asked

"What? Birdie that's such a Seth MacFarlane thing to say!"

"HEY! Can we keep it quiet please?" Batman asked "Thank you. Alright, were heading up to the van, I'll take care of it-Robin, take the wheel!"

"B-but I can't drive well, you know that, especially in a country where everything is Topsy-turvy."

"Right-Bullock! Take the wheel!"

"You got it Cowl Head!" they quickly shifted positions and Batman got ready to jump inside the other van.

"That's it Harvey-just a little closer...closer...closer...and-NOW!" CRASH! Batman jumped into their van.

"What the!" Blast shouted

"Dammit! It's the Freakin' Bat!"

"Figures he'd be all the way over here! Looking for his kitty and all." Snatch added

"Oh no! You guys again?" Batman groaned

"Hey! It's that Bat-Fake from before!"

"I'm not a fake!" Batman said getting quickly agitated...Conroy's good at that.

"You are!" Shifty sneered looking in the rear view mirror "The real Batman has more armor to his outfit...and is at least 2 inches smaller than you."

"That's more than what I can say about all three of you!" he took out a Batarang

"Aw jeez-"

"OH DEAR GOD!"

I could show you in dramatic fashion the beat down that is occurring but I'm afraid if I do I'll have to go to Confession. Oh-right in his face! Aw-that's gonna hurt tomorrow. Also, Frederick was able to hack the GPS in the van and enter his own feed.

"_Oh dear Lord!"_

"_Gordon Bennett!"_

"_I didn't even know that could be done to a person's face!" _

"Fredrick-[thwack]" Batman noticed after back punching Blast in the face. "Were in pursuit of Catwoman, The Terrible Trio seemed to have answered Mr. Moriarty's bounty."

"_Ha. Check and Mate Mr. Collins."_

"Wait-grr." Batman shoved Shifty out of his way. "They're all criminals! All three of them! Get this, I think the other two on the motorcycles are two rogue former CIA agents-Tucker Vanzetti and Sara Rhinehart!"

"_Well that is a problem." Fredrick agreed_

"_Hmm-I do believe Gerry it is you who is in check-"_

"_Oh go shove it you freaking' bampot!" _

"_Can you apprehend them Batman?" Ashcroft asked_

"Easy, just send a back-up squad to...eh, 43rd and Market."

"_Thatcher's Antiquities, got it-wait, why there?" Fredrick asked_

"Were about to crash into the place." Batman sighed

At said Antiquities establishment, a young and mustached Grant Thatcher was polishing some vases.

"Maryann!"

"Yes dear?"

"Have you seen my porcelain buff-n-polish?"

"Should be in the cupboard honey!"

"No, I checked, it's where my jewelry magnifier is located."

"So check where you keep the magnifier."

"Which is where Mary?"

"I don't know Grant!"

"Well, lotta help you a-[CRASSSSSSH]" . . . "...Maryann?"

"Yes dear, what was that loud crash?"

"My eye twitching, would you mind getting a quote from a stone mason and glass repairman post haste?" his redheaded wife dashed in

"Why, what's so-GASP!" suddenly, Batman emerged uninjured from the wrecked van, the injured Trio remained inside.

"Gasp! The Batman." Maryann noticed

"Ugh, sorry about that, here." from a utility-Bat pocket came out a wad of money. "For the repairs." he smiled. He jumped out and ran into the street as more police units arrived

"...He is aware pounds are worth more than the American dollar, yes?"

"Oh shut-up and call for repairs!"

"Sigh-yes dear."

Batman activated his transforming Bat-Glider and flew off to rejoin the chase.

"Robin?" he called over radio

"_Right here Batman!"_

"The Trio has been apprehended, how are things on your end?"

"_Were on the Thames Canal road right next to the river, Parliament, Big Ben-MI5 is all up ahead!  
_"So, you're near Westminster?"

"_Right?"_

"I'll meet you there Batman out."

The van was getting closer and closer to Catwoman, and the other two. Robin had a jolly good idea for some jolly good canoodling.

"Chef, I have an idea! Get alongside that one!" he ordered

"You got it Bird Boy!" Chef picked up speed and headed alongside The Exterminator's bike.

"Perfect Chef, hollar if you need me-oh and uh-don't need me, k?" he winked then hopped off, knocking the Exterminator off her bike.

"What in the-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-[THUD]" she looked up "Who dares-gasp!"

"Hey you!"

"CODY!" she tore her helmet off. And they exchanged a kiss

"What are you doing here?"

"Some shlub named Moriarty put a bounty on Gwen's head, Tuck couldn't possible pass that up."

"Right-[click]" he cuffed her. "Pull the other one."

"...Can we kiss a little first?" she sighed

"I'd be insulted if we didn't."

Chef and Montoya followed closely on the canal road, until the speed of the two faster vehicles suddenly alluded them.

"Dammit Chef, were losing them-"

"I'm aware of that Speed Racer!"

"Humph, rude."

Up the road, below a bridge, Gwen's Cooper stopped in it's tracks...out of gas.

"Dammit! Lousy British and your efficient smaller gas engines!" she fumed. Though more unfortunate Tuck stopped right behind her.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, out of petrol Kyle?"

"You know Tuck-let's be honest-you know you won't catch me, let's just get the banter over with so I can escape, huh?"

"Oh, sassy." he cocked his rifle "I hate sassy!"

"I hate you!" she jumped onto the railing next to the river. Then starred at the cold water of the Thames.

"Ha! Now I gotcha? What's the matter-kitty cat afraid of a little water?"

"Uh...YES!" didn't see that coming.

"Well then." Chef and Courtney exited the van.

"NOOOO!"

"TUCK!"

"Goodbye. Gwen. Kyle." he took aim.

"Aw dammit!" BANG!

Catwoman jumped just in time, and hit the water.

"Shes not getting away from me!" Courtney dove in after her.

"Sh*t! So close."

"And yet so far!" Chef approached him

"Erg." Tuck dropped his gun and surrendered.

Gwen got to the other side of the river, running up to the sidewalk, with Courtney right at her heels. Across the street from Courtney was Gwen, in front of Big Ben and the Parliament building.

"Grr! Get back here Catwoman!"

"Not a chance Montoya! I came too far risking it all for the Crown Jewels, and I'm not about to let em go!" she dashed into the clocktower. Courtney got over a cool communicator watch

"Damn." she was too tired to continue "Fredrick, it's Courtney! Shes climbing Big Ben."

"_What! That's a hop skip and a jump from here!"Suddenly, Robin entered the room _

"_Hey, what did I miss?"_

"_Catwoman's climbing the Big Ben." Ashcroft explained_

"_Say, anyone seen Gerald?" Collins asked everyone shrugged. _

Catwoman climbed the tower, and stood on the ledge below the clock.

"Erg! Great now I'm trapped..." she showed some claw "Or am I."

"No, you are trapped I'm afraid." came Gerry's voice, he was holding a sabre. "Make this easy love, gimme the jewels, so I can slice your head off!" he warned

"Never." Catwoman grabbed her waterproof satchel, and backed away.

"Well then, I'll have to take em from you-ha, kinda funny eh-what? I'm about to collect my own bounty."

. . .

"There's someone on the ledge with Catwoman." John noticed as they hacked the camera feed of the ledge.

"It looks sorta like...Gerry."

. . .

"Now come on, give em."

"NO!"

"Then I guess I have no choice but to take em from you...and then...I'll kill you-"

"NO Gerry." Batman rose up from below. "No you won't."

"What? You're not Batman what gives!" Gwen noticed immediately

"Shes right, I've read up on you, the Batman of today wears a lot of armor-you have none-even the insignia is different, I know you're a fake!"

"That's what you think!" he approached the psycho!

"No! Not a step closer! I'm warning you!" he grabbed Gwen

"Let her go Moriarty."

"NO! I'm not letting her go Bat-Fake! You could not be any faker! Than any fake! That's ever been faked before!" That did it. Now it seemed everyone was listening in.

"...I'm no fake Gerald..." suddenly some bats flew out of nowhere "You don't know what a fake is." he got closer "Would a fake see more destruction in one evening then you'll-EVER see in a lifetime? Could a fake live on but a few hours of sleep each night to put on a different personality during the day?" the bats drew closer. "If I'm fake-then yo don't even exist, if that makes any sense. Hell I'm as real as they come, I just lost some luster. You think you're so clever wielding that saber and hiding behind an emotionally disturbed hostage? Ha, sounds pretty fake to me Moriarty. A Bounty? Please, the Queen named us for a reason, your trustee's have failed you. I can assure you sir I will not. That's not being fake-that's real. I'm real. Just because I look different doesn't mean I'm not real. At least I can face a problem instead of hiding behind a bounty. Sounds pretty weak to me Gerald. But you know real don't you-dear boy-you have everything figured out? Well let me tell you something gov-nor, you've figured out nothing-and you've certainly, haven't figured me out. Like I said, I'm as real as they come. I am he who prowls the night searching for the scum of the earth-I protect those in the darkness land, sea, or air-I, am he who is the skeleton in every villain's closet, between the well known, and the wanton crook who lives next door...I am vengeance...I am the night...I. AM. BATMAN! suddenly a horde of Bats flew up and surrounded Moriarty

"NO! Not bats! Anything but-G-get em away! Get away! Please for the love of God get them away!" He fell to his knees, sobbing." everyone listening in was so ridiculously shocked. Batman simply left Moriarty on the ledge, and grabbed Catwoman, also very shocked

"Let's go."

"Yes sir!"

Batman and friends were gearing up to leave in the wing,

"We'll indite them back to Gotham as soon as we can, right after we get the jewels to the gals." Fredrick explained

"Sounds good." Robin nodded

"We could not have done it without you Batman, I speak for everyone of the United Kingdom when I say, thank you." Ashcroft bowed.

"No problem...what of Moriarty."

"I'm sure he'll walk it off, he's kinda nutty that way." John joked.

"Well alright."

"Happy travels back home-oh and if you do see my dear friend Alfred Pennyworth, tell I said ello."

"I will Fredrick."

"Well then-ta-ta."

The ride was quiet back home, everyone was still reeling from Batman's monologue. And after everyone was dropped off, Batman and Robin returned home. So if it's dawn in the UK, that means it's midnight in New York...I think. They returned to see Nighthacker asleep at his computer. Little did they know OUR Batman and Batgirl had just got back in the Bat-Boat.

"Did you mean what you said back there?" Robin asked taking off his mask

"Every word."

"Well, looks like it's been a long night for all of us." Cody yawned.

"I agree." he pointed to Geoff "I got to get some sleep myself, it was nice to get back into the swing of things-Goodnight Cody."

"G'night Trent." Batman smirked, it had all worked. As he left, Bridgette and Trent exited from the hanger elevator.

"Hey squirt, you're back!" Bridgette gave him a hug

"What the? Where did-how did." he was confused

"What happened?" Trent asked

"I could ask you the same thing, weren't you just-"

"Nope...whoever you were with, was the same "old-school" Batman from before."

"No way."

"Uh-yeah, uh weird..."

"Bridgette, where you going?" Trent asked

"Uh...home." she walked away nervously.

"Okay." Trent raised an eyebrow

"You suspicious?"

"Without a doubt..."

**The End!**

**Okay...how...was...THAT! Oh my God I'm getting chills-ME! Well, I'm glad you like it, we got some Creeper debut up next hope y'all enjoy that, so PLEASE REVIEW! and all that such, and uh-yeah, bye guys...**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Detective Courtney Montoya

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Nighthacker

_**Starring...**_

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill/Batman

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Gwen Kyle/Catwoman

**Roy Doctrice: **Agent Fredrick

**Jeff Bennett: **Tucker Vanzetti, Agent Ashcroft

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Rhinehart/The Exterminator

**Tom Kane: **Gerald Moriarty

**S. Scott Bullock: **Shifty

**Billy West: **Blast

**Rob Paulsen: **Snatch

**Michael York: **Johnathon Collins

**Jess Harnell: **Grant Thatcher, Party Planner

**Diane Pershing: **Maryann Thatcher

**Tara Strong: **Rachel Hollander/Bionica


	150. Beware the Creeper! Part I

**Villain(s): Joker, Harley Quinn**

**Episode Rewrite: Beware the Creeper (1998)**

**Story By: Rich Fogel**

**Written By: Steve Gerber**

**Directed By: Dan Riba**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 73: Beware the Creeper!**

At the Ace Chemical Plant, reporter Jack Ryder was doing a live expose on the place.

"Four years ago this very night, the Clown Prince of Crime, the Joker was born on this very spot. Since then Gotham City has been rocked by the repeated attacks of it's most infamous costumed villain. Who is he? Where did he come from? What diabolical scheme is he planning even now? I'm Jack Ryder, join us as we answer these questions and more, on: Joker: The Madness Behind the Laughter!"

At his manor Trent was watching the television program, Cody and Bridgette had just finished their training and decided to look upon their obsessed leader.

"_His true identity unknown. Operating under a variety of aliases, the most common being that of Duncan Napier, of which most assume to be his actual name-the supposed nameless Gunsel began his career for the famed Valestra mob. After he assassinated Gotham investment banker Carl Beaumont, he went out on his own and formed his own gang. Their first real big score, would be the Ace Chemical Plant, something that was supposed to be an easy hit."_

"Come on Trent." Bridgette complained

"How long are you gonna have to hear this?" no answer

"Oh we forgot Cody, Mr. Obsessive.

"_It was supposedly a fool proof plan, or was it? The daring break-in...the first confrontation with the Batman...Conflict...struggle...a vat of chemicals...Former identity erased, new identity, the Joker."_

From the side of the camera, the three noticed the Joker standing in the observation catwalks above.

"Uh-oh!"

"Looks like Ryder has a surprise guest star!"

"Let's go!" Trent ordered

Ryder's crew who noticed nothing, continued their story on the catwalks below Joker, who was joined by Harley, and his three three stooge-like henchmen, Lar, Mo, and Cur.

"Driven mad by his transformation, the Joker soon began his reign of terror across the city."

. . .

"Think Bats saw you Puddy-tat?" Harley asked

"Oh he did Harl I'm sure of it, he'd never miss a show about me-he's my biggest fan after all-ha-ha, but just to make sure..."

Joker and Harley tossed down two exploding rubber chickens, filled to the gullets with Joker Industries Brand Joker laughing gas toxin. Ryder's crew suddenly started laughing.

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" the reporter approached them confused.

"Hey-hey, what's going on here, were live?"

"No!" Joker swung in on a crane "I'm live, you're dead!" and threw down another chicken in Ryder's direction, effecting him.

"Cough-aha-cough-aha-l-l-lad-aha-ues and g-g-gent-gentlemen, I can-ha-ha-assure-ha-ha-ha, that w-w-what you're seeing-ha-ha-ha-ia-ha-ha-ha-ia-ha-ha-nn-n-no j-joke-heeeeeelp-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

Joker and the rest of his crew swung on down to the catwalk, the Clown Prince grabbed the now mad reporter by the collar. Still laughing hysterically.

"Let's show the folks at home what really happened 4 years ago, I'll be Batman, you be me-k?" he pushed Ryder over the edge, and right into the same vat of chemicals he fell in. his henchmen and Harley gave him scores of: 7.2. 8.4. 9.0. and a modest 10.00000 from Harley.

"HA-HA YES!" CRASH! The Batmobile crashed through the walls, and the team popped out.

"And they say I'm crazy-oh well. Make out old friends feel unwelcome boys!"

Harley and the three stooges jumped down to the floor. She blew a whistle signaling them to assault. Cur chose Batman, his weapon, a piece of metal pipe.

"Nyah-nyah-nyah-[chong]-nyaaaaaaaaaah." he hit the pipe onto another pipe...you know what happens then...anyway Batman punched him into a pile of boxes. "Oof-[crush]"

Joker on the other hand tended to Ryder, who-still chuckling climbed up out of the vat, Joker, on a ladder, kicked him right back in

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-[splash]"

"Nope, not quite ready yet-ha-ha."

Mo found himself being collided in the back of the head by Robin, causing to go chin first, into a piece of pipe.

"Aw no-CHANK-unh." suddenly Lar appeared behind them. He got ready to charge

"Grr-lemme at em-lemme-at em!" he charged, only to be bitched in the face by Batgirl!

"Hah!"

"Oof-THUD!"

Joker was about to tend to his moronic henchpeoples when Ryder climbed out again.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"What determination, give that man a cigar!" He stuffed a Joker Brand cigar into the reporter's mouth. And pushed him back in. The exploding cigar ignited the flammable chemicals in the vat, and the place started to go up in flames.

"Ah, fireworks make me all tingly inside." Harley cooed as the cigar continued to spark, and the fire raged. She grabbed a large wrench and attempted to whack Batman with it, only to have a face full of Cur. "OOF!"

Undaunted Ryder still tried to climb out

"Ha-ha-ha."

"Robin? Batgirl?" Batman called through the smoke

"Were over here Batman!" Batgirl called. Suddenly Joker approached them through the smoke.

"Guess again kiddies!" he took out a Joker Brand Paddleball, knocking Batgirl, then Robin into the lever which sends the vats of chemicals through the pipes and into the ocean, taking Ryder with them. The place started to erupt even more. The Bat team approached joker

"How about that Bats? You broke my face and got 4 years of bad luck. Wanna try for seven, or do you want to raise that anchorman out of the ocean?"

Defeated, the team raced out to where the pipe lets out at the canal, the only thing the team saw was Ryder's jacket, being consumed by the acid hitting the water.

"Does...does this mean?" Batgirl asked

"Come on, We gotta Joker to find." they hopped into the Batmobile and drove away.

BUT! The manhole cover where the BM was once parked flew opened, and out popped a poorly dressed, yellow skinned man, with Joker colored hair, and pinkish lips, with amplified strength

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-BREAKING NEWS! And if you broke it you have to pay for it-Now for weather-partly gaga with a 50% chance of schizophrenia-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha! And now Summer Gleeson with sports? Summer? -Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" ...commercial...

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Ryder jumped all over South Gotham "Felling pretty good, for a dead guy-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" He jumped atop cars, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw what he looked like at a store window. "AH!" startled he jumped all the way to atop a street light. "Whoa, that was unexpected-I better slow down a bit-try and process what's going on." the ringing in his head was like a cookoo clock "YEOW! Whoa that hurts! Okay we'll come back to that." He jumped to a nearby apartment window, where a woman was doing some...women stuff. "Excuse me, can you help I seem to be having a wee bit of an identity crisis-"

"AHHHHH!" she ran away screaming

"Okay I love you buh-bye! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" He jumped back street level. "Okay it's official my TV-queue's in the toilet! I gotta avenge myself and pull the plug on the Joker's show." he sniffed his pits "PEUW! But first..." he spotted a discount clothing store across the street.

He jumped in, and immediately scared every customer out...everyone except the dedicated, and borderline emotionless manager.

"AHHHHH!"

"Oh sweet God!"

"Get him away!"

"No-no-no-no-no!" he looked at clothes, and threw them haphazardly, then he looked at a Batman Halloween mask "It's been done, any suggestions?" Ryder asked

"With your coloring I'd go green." she said

"Perfect!" he grabbed the pair of green and black skivvies she handed him, and went to change into them. He also grabbed a red shoulder boa-scarf-thingy off a mannequin, so he basically wore that wardrobe. Along with matching gloves and socks "What about the boa, too much?"

"Not for you baby."

"I wanna strike fear into the hearts of criminals!"

"Great, cash or plastic?" she asked, he slapped the plastic Batman mask down along with his credit card.

"Plastic-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Ha-ha, funny." she rang him up

The Bat team was driving back home when Nighthacker and Alfred called them

"_Batman, you there?"_

"Go ahead Nighthacker."

"_Something you might find interesting, reports of a giggling green maniac terrorizing South Gotham and a thrift shop, but here's the strange thing, he payed for his purchases using Jack Ryder's credit card."_

Stunned, Batman immediately turned back for town.

. . .

"Now why would a mild mannered guy like Jack Ryder do something like that?" Alfred asked

"Low ratings?" Nighthacker shrugged

"Humph, you don't see stuff like this about the streets of Nottingham."

"Uh-Notting-what?"

"Ugh, never mind Master Geoffrey."

. . .

Elsewhere in South Gotham was Joker's latest lair, the old Founders Day supply building. The Clown Prince walked back to the place after a night of crimes.

"I can't believe it! Word on the street is that someone is trying to steal my act! Is there no honor among thieves?" he asked dramatically. He knocked on his door with multiple locks, only for it to open. He looked around for his henchmen "Lar! Mo! Cur? Well the hell is every-"

"I gave em the night off Puddin." Came the voice of Harley, who arose from a giant-ass, Epic Meal Time worthy pie.

"Happy anniversary-Mistah J." aw dammit shes gonna sing "You're really swell and okay-it's four years to the day-take the night off-let's play." Joker was more agitated than turned on. "Harley-"

"Yes...?" she got a piece of pie "Wanna try a slice of my pie puddin?" Depends, which pie? -ZING

"Harley..."

"I'm sure you want seconds."

"Harley I'm not in the party mood. If you really wanna make me happy...-"

[VA-MOOSE]

"GAH-[thud]"

"FIND THE LOW LIFE PLAGIARIST WHOSE BEEN STEALING MY ACT!" Joker fumed kicking a pie covered Harley out...yet again. Bud and Lou licked her clean.

"Humph." he licked some residual pie from his purple blazer "YUCK! Sweet kid but lousy cook!"

Meanwhile, down by the docks, the Creeper found himself at the Stacked Deck, the most low-life-run-down bar and billiards in the whole city. Sure enough, Joker's henchmen were there. Playing billiards.

**To Be Continued...pLeAsE rEvIeW**

**and for those who haven't read the previous chapter, I highly recommend it- ;) And congrats to Kyrogue23 on being the 500th reviewer! YEAH!  
**


	151. Beware the Creeper! Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

CRASH! Ryder jumped through a skylight right onto the pool table where the stooges were playing.

"Hey!"

"What in the world!"

"I know you!" Ryder began "Last time we met you were working for-dramatic pause-The Joker!"

"We don't know nothing about no Joker creep." Mo was quick to say

"Creep-CREEP-I like it, my name the Creep-no-no too negative...I got it-drum roll please. . .I said drum roll please!" he yelled patting Cur's Bald head

"Hey!"

"I am...The Creeper!" he then grabbed Lar, and hung him upside down from the rafters.

"What the-"

"So, from one sociopath to another, tell me, where is the Joker?"

"His girlfriend's throwing him a party-invitation only."

"Dammit! Left my invite in my other pants." he dropped La

"Nyah-nyah-[thud]" Creeper dropped down

"So uh, what was that address again?"

"Aw, don't crash Joker's party, we were about to throw our own bash!" Mo yelled. The three grabbed pool cues and prepared to beat Creeper with them...maliciously.

Anyway Harley was walking nearby outside, virtually clean of her pie-fiasco, and her liver demanded to be killed ever so slightly...she needed a drink. So to the Stacked Deck she went.

"I spent hours baking that pie and does he show any appreciation? No!-[CRASH]" A pool table was thrown from the restaurant smashing through the window, and landing in the harbor feet away. "Yup, need that drink." she sighed. Inside Creeper was kicking some ass. He had Moe pinned on one of the tables and smashed his nose with the tip of his pool cue. No one knowing the Dark Knight and his able-body sidekicks atop the roof of the dive bar.

"Hand over Joker-NOW!" Creeper ordered comically

"What about the Joker?" Creeper turned to see Harley walk through the broken window.

Now what Creeper saw was a criminal Goddess in a tight costume showing off her busty bubblicious features against a tropical island backdrop...when in reality only the costume and bubblicious features stuff was accurate.

"BABY!" smitten he ran to her.

"Hey, either I'm a total moron or you're the creep swiping Mistah J's act!" Both answers are in fact accurate. But, the Creeper was SO good, he punched Cur right in the face when he tried to sneak up behind him

"OOF!"

Not me-[thwack]" then he tripped Mo trying to get a jump on him, again not looking- "I'm one of a kind toots-[THWACK]"

"AW!" he then gave Batman an uppercut right to another table, again, not looking.

"What do ya want?" Harley asked

"The inside story on the Joker-also your phone number-ha-ha-ha-ha." ...Batman painfully stood up

"I see you found him." Batgirl sighed

"You'll never take me alive Batman!" they heard Mo Shout from atop a pool table with a Tommy gun. He fired rapidly and haphazardly about the place. The Bat team hid behind a table. Harley dashed out of the window and into a nearby ally, with the Creeper behind her...not sure what thing shes running from exactly.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!"

"Both of you, stay behind the table!" Batman ordered. He lifted up the pool table covering them from behind and drove it towards Mo.

"Oh God-[smash]" sandwiching him between both tables. Then all three clonked the other two knuckleheads together.

Harley wandered into a shipping dry dock, where Creeper had jumped down from a pile of boxes in front of her

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Grr-you little-grunt-grunt-ah!" Harley tried to fight back, missing every blow.

"Ooh, cooky-feisty-i like her." Creeper smirked, pulling her in "That's right momma, hurt me, I've been baaaaaad."

"Knock it off Creep!"

"Creep-ER!" he said insistently.

"Well you are agile, I'll give you that." Harley smiled backing up to a crane's controls.

"And what else will you give me?" The worst headache of your life.

"Come here and see." she enticed him to walk forward, then-[WHAM] she released a lever, and giant ass wooden box crushed Creeper. While the Bat team watched in the distance.

Harley smiled at her triumph

"Yay! I got the right lever this time! Ha, see ya sucker, that's one way out of a bad date." she cartwheeled away. The Bat team ran to help the injured reporter

"We gotta help him." Batman said

"Gotta mop?" Robin asked

"I got two free knuckle-sandwiches for the two of you if I don't get help over here pronto!"

"Yes sir." they tore away the pieces of wood, revealing a stone statue. Creeper's head broke through where the head should be as if he just molded with the stone

"Whoa-BABY! I like a girl who plays rough!" He broke free.

"But-but, she just tried to kill you!" Robin tried reasoning with him.

"You're young, you'll learn." he patted the Boy wonder's head and jumped on another box

"Boy, does he know." Batgirl chuckled

"Who are you?" Batman asked

"They call me: Yellow Skinned Whacky Man!" no they don't "But I prefer, the Creeper!"

"Call Arkham, quick." Robin sighed

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-Nah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" Creeper jumped onto more boxes, and headed back through town.

"Come on!" Batman ordered, they followed him.

Anyway, Creeper was in an ally, sniffing around for a sign of Harley.

"Gilded Mad Man stalks crazy clown girl-film at eleven!" he chuckled

"Film at eleven, you don't think?" Batgirl asked

"The chemicals in the vat could have reacted badly with Joker's laughing gas, and he had Ryder's credit card."

"You mean-THAT'S Jack Ryder? The News Guy?" Robin asked

"What's left of him." they saw Creeper found footprints, that seemed to match Harley's

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! My love awaits!" he followed them, and the team followed him.

Harley frantically ran back into the lair, where Joker was meticulously filling his acid lapel with exploding acid...one wrong move could spell disaster, then Harley came in and...Harleyed up the place!

"Miatah J-Mistah J!" she yelled, startling the Clown Prince, who grabbed the acid filled test tube just in time.

"Harley you moronic pea-brain! You nearly blew us to Chattahoochee!"

"You gotta save me Puddin' he's after me!"

"And who precisely, would that be-[CRASH]" Creeper literally crashed through the wall

"HARLEY! I'M HOME!" he approached the broken couple

"He's the Creep stealing your act!"

"And that's not all Mr. Happy-I'm stealing your girl too!" He grabbed the busty Clown Princess and tried to bust a move.

"I swear Mistah J I didn't encourage him!" Joker grabbed his idiot back

"That's okay Poo-I know you're a one man loon."

"Eee." she squeaked, then he tossed her aside

"There's only room for one clown prince in this town Stranger!" he readied the acid "How would you like a one way trip to Metropolis? One air Nitro?"

. . .

The Bat team was on top of a nearby church steeple.

"Which way did he go?" Robin asked, then -KA-BOOM

"That way." Batman sighed

"Why do we always get the crazies?" Batgirl asked

. . .

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Creeper looked at Harley, who was lying in a pile of building blocks, one hand clasped to her over-size mallet.

"Aw-sweetie got a boo-bo-[BWACK!]" she slammed him with the mallet into a pile of boxes, and approached him

"Aw, Creep-o gotta concussion? Here, allow me to make it worse." she raised the hammer.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-huh?" Joker then noticed the Bat team from the ledge outside the windows above.

"Uh, stall em dollface, I'll-uh, get the car, that's it!" now you know he would really just abandon her.

So Joker dashed to his old-school purple coupe with the top up, before he could open the door, Batman jumped onto the hood, not amused.

"No thanks, I've already had my windows done." he pulled a lever inside the door, which opened the hood, ejecting Batman outwards.

"Whoaaaaa!" Then, to Joker's left, Robin and Batgirl opened the lock to a mesh box, releasing a ton of large bouncy balls, hindering any attempt for Joker to get into his car. But, as luck would Have it, Harley drove by in the-It's-A-Small-World-After-All float with a souped up engine.

"Mistah J, over here!" she called. Joker jumped onto the back of the float, which had a bunch of detachable people, the castle in the middle, with a giant globe on top

"Step on it Harl!" Joker ordered, and they drove away.

Batman stood up, he saw Creeper had hotwired Joker's coupe and was attempting to pursue him.

"Gang way!" he yelled. Batman jumped over the hood, and grabbed onto the detachable roof, pulling it off, and hanging onto the back bumper. Robin and Batgirl launched Bat Hooks at the bumbper, and rode onto box movers as skateboards. "I'm hotwired and in hot pursuit-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Creeper laughed as he got closer to the slower moving float.

"Oh no you don't!" Joker grabbed some of the people, and threw them from the float at his car-boy that sounds weird doesn't it?

"Hey, fish in a barrel-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Creeper laughed as Joker threw more statues their way.

Nothing seemed to lose Creeper, even driving through a busy intersection causing a pile up. Batman tried to get in the back seat

"Creeper! Stop the car, now!" he ordered. He ignored him.

Joker to try and lose them, climbed to the top of the castle and pushed the globe off, breaking right on the coupe, no effect. Except for the shards on the windshield.

"Wipers?" Creeper asked he inadvertently pressed the wrong button, the back bumper opened up, Batman was quick to move away, suddenly rockets flew out the back

"Robin! Batgirl! DUCK!"

"Whoa-jeez!"

"CRAP!" they ducked just in time. Then Creeper turned a lever, which activated the ejector seat.

"Oh boy-INCOMING!" he launched himself into Joker, and the two fell into the drivers seat with Harley, who crashed right into the Ace Waste Disposal facility. The other three did the same, and headed for a cliff's end.

"AHHHHHHH!" they landed atop a pile of garbage. The coupe was also launched, Batman jumped grabbing onto the cliff just tin time, and his sidekicks by their capes.

Batman looked atop the landfill where Creeper was about to throw Joker off

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-buh-bye."

"Whoooooooooa!" a bleeding Joker looked up at Batman

"He's a lunatic!" he was then cuffed. On top, Creeper had Harley cornered

"Baby, on you even garbage looks good."

"Ugh, go away." she sighed. Batman was there with a sedative.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-sleepy." Creeper landed on Harley, and slept like a baby.

Back at Ryder's house, he was sort of returned to normal thanks to Batman.

"So this antidote patch is the only thing keeping me from a room at Arkham, huh?" he siged refering to the white patch on his right bicep.

"It's temporary, I'll need to make more." Batman explained

"Thanks, but I might as well have dissolved in that vat-my career-"

"Is salvageable, nobody knows you were the Creeper, keep wearing the patch, and it will stay that way." the three got on the balcony, and swung to another building, Ryder walked out.

"A little piece of cotton...hard to believe." tempted, he took the patch off. "Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" he chuckled.

**The End...**

**Alright, more comedy up next with Nurse Pain! With some more of your favorites. Review and all that such, and-blah-blah-blah-Happy Presidents Day America!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Nighthacker

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Jeff Bennett: **Jack Ryder/The Creeper, additional voices

**Drew Nelson: **Duncan Napier/Joker

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Lindsey Quinzel/Harley Quinn

**Billy West: **Lar, Mo, Cur

**E.G. Daily: **Store Manager, Additional voices


	152. TryTry Again, Part I

**Villain: Nurse Pain. Featuring: Multiple others**

**Episode Archive: JUST DO IT!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Curt Geda**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 74: ...Try-Try Again**

Twas a drab and dull-dull afternoon at the Looney Farm. Most of the incarcerated costumed cretins were trying to drown out their debt to society with a little mind numbing television in the rec room. The news was playing

"_And in recent news Gotham's latest crime fighting vigilante, The Creeper; has not been seen since his debut sometime last week." Summer explained_

"_Hmm-hmm-hmm-ha-ha-ha-ha-if only they knew." Jack Ryder chuckled...almost maniacally_

"_Uh, Jack?"_

"_Yes-yes, Creeper, weird guy, ha-ha-ha-ahem, right, news stuff-what. do. we. Got?" _

"_The Creeper?"_

"_Oh-you mean t-t-t-that guy-ha-ha, good looking devil, right?"_

"_Uh...yeah sure, ya know if you like half-naked green whack-jobs who model themselves off the Joker-ha-ha-ha." Summer chuckled, Jack, not amused. _

"_Right-on with the weather-"_

"Humph, Creeper, who does he think he is?" Duncan stood up angered "That no talent hack! How dare the media compare him to me? I got more style, more flare! I'm certainly a better dresser."

"Yeah-yeah clown we've heard it all before." Justin groaned.

"Is it always the same with you Joker?" Gwen asked

"Yes, as a matter of fact it is, so there!"

"You know maybe people would...hate you slightly less-if you weren't so irritating." Eva added

"Wha-what? A-are you guys hearing this?" Joker asked "You have NOOOOO right to be calling people annoying Evanovich!"

"I'll add whatever I wanna add Clown!"

"Oh, those sound like fighting words!" Duncan and Eva closed their teeth gritted gap.

"Oh goodie, a fight." Ezekiel licked his chops

"I love this stuff!" Jason Cratcheville added "Come on fight-fight-fight-fight!" But like the stool pigeon she is, Lindsey got in between the two.

"Guys...Ava-Puddin' you can't fight now, the guards will see!"

"Can it bubble brain! I'm-a teaching "Puddin" here some manners!" Eva snarled

"I'd move Linds or you'll get my foot shoved up your ass along with Eva's!"

"Grr-Harleen! Harl! Help me!" she called to her sister.

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzz." sawing logs on a nearby chair. This made all the other villains stop everything they were doing, and take notice

"Ugh, always on the narcolepsy is this one!" Alejandro griped

"Hey, she can't help it she has an odd and annoying medical condition, never bothered me, or Ferris either." Lindsey explained

"Oh yes, where is his high and Gobly-ness?" Owen asked

"Who knows?"

"Who cares. He escaped last week. No ones seen him since, eh." Zeke added

"Oh well that's a shame, those two sounded like they were in a pretty solid relationship." Heather said, like she cared

"Well someone should wake her up, I'll freeze her to pieces if I gotta hear her snore one more time." Dora suggested.

"Harl what usually wakes her up?" Izzy asked

"Oh gee, any number of things, Smell of pancakes, the Jonas Brothers, those cute little smelling salts...oh there was one more thing...can't quite put my finger on it..."

"_And I hope you guys are as excited as we are for Disney On Ice."_

"Zzzzzzzzz-DISNEY ON ICE!" Harleen jumped right up.

"No-no-no-no-no, that's not it." Lindsey kept thinking

"Ohmigosh! Why didn't anyone tell me Disney on ice was coming to Gotham-WHY!" she fumed violently shaking Zeke.

"_The Box Office is closing soon, and the show begins 7 o'clock sharp at the Thomas Bruce Wayne Memorial Arena, so go get your tickets folks! And it looks like that's all the news we have time for, I'm Jack Ryder"_

"_And I'm Summer Gleeson-"_

"Oh my gosh! Disney on Ice is like my favoritest thing in the whole world! I've gotta see that show!"

"Except there's just one slight issue genius." Alejandro chuckled

"What's that?"

"Arkham."

"HA! I've escaped before, plus I heard rumors were getting a new security chief...hopefully this guy is lazier than the last one. Soooo, who wants to help old Harleen escape, huh?"

"Sure."

"Why not."

"I'm down!"

"Wow thanks guys!"

"You do realize this will be the perfect opportunity to watch you completely muck up, right?" Alejandro asked

"Of course."

"Good, glad you're aware." they left the rec room. Then the tought finally occurred to Lindsey

"Wait! I remember now-It's Disney On Ice! Harl loves...that? Guys?"

In said security chief's post, which was basically the camera room, Chef Bullock prepares for his sentence-I mean, opportunity. There, was Chris, and the warden, Quincy Sharp.

"Ohhhhhh, why am I stuck with this lame, community service temp job anyway?" Chef asked arms crossed

"Cause, after three counts of reckless endangerment, you're lucky this is all you got." Chris explained

"Hey, those kids had it coming!"

"They were girl scouts selling cookies!" Chris defended

"Yeah, cookies filled with CRACK!"

"Ugh." Chris did a facepalm "Just be happy you're only stuck with this for a week, remember I pulled a lot of strings to save your ass!"

"Really, how many Internal Affairs women did you sleep with?" Chef asked

"Three-I mean, you moron that's not the point-just...just...ugh, Quincy, tell him what he has to do, I have to take an aspirin and listen to my little girl whine why I won't date again...jeez my wife's only been dead 5 years! I thought kids were supposed to hate that junk!" Chris complained bitterly walking out of the room.

"Alright Harvey, I'm certain I don't have to bore you with the details, you sit here, watch the monitors, send backup where needed, and make sure no one escapes, easy stuff right?"

"Yeah I guess." Chef shrugged

"Good, unfortunately, we did manage to hire a permanent new security chief, so you're gonna have to train him."

"I can do that, so long as this person isn't a total douche."

"Hey, I resemble that." said person entered the room

"Carlo!"

"Hey Harv, long time no see, how you doing brother?"

"Great-great, you're the new chief?"

"Yeah, how bout that."

"Well I'll let you two brothers get to work, I have a very important meeting with our biggest fundraiser, oh and gentlemen, here's a little gift from me to you, welcome aboard." Sharp held out a box

"DONUTS!" they started to devour the boxes contents.

"Uh, Warden Sharp?"

"Wayne, glad you're here, come-come, time to see how your money was spent." Quincy told the billionaire

"Good, I should hope so."

Outside in the yard, the inmates were doing some various things to keep themselves in shape, and to amuse themselves...and since they're all totally nuts, trying not to hurt themselves in the process.

"Alright fellas, ready?" Harleen asked

"As we'll ever be." Justin smiled

"No worries Harls." DJ assured her.

You're probably wondering the abortion of a breakout plan Harleen thought of...So she tied a bunch of panties, bras, and underwear to fashion a crude slingshot...of wit she tied the ends to both basketball poles. She was aimed for the wall, ready to be hurdled over.

"You are aware this plan is retarded right?" Justin asked

"I'm legally insane-oh yeah I'm aware." she smirked devilishly

"Just checking." DJ smiled they pulled back to give it more umph as it were.

. . .

"You seeing dis?" Carlo asked looking at one of the monitors

"What?" Chef asked … "Erg, Quinzel, of course, come on Carlo."

. . .

"Alright boys, let her rip...wait-wait!" she took out a flight mask out of nowhere "Safety first."

"Where did she get that?" Justin asked

"Eh, roll with it, it's a cartoon." DJ shrugged

"Okay Croc-Bane...3...2...1...BONZAI!" they let her go and looked at the horizon beyond the wall "SEE YA SUCKERS!" then suddenly a huge Catcher's mit was blocking her path, it caught the ex-fugitive, and plopped her right back into the yard...hard. Quincy and Trent watched from a safe and manageable distance

"As you can see we've spared no expense to make sure inmates stay inside Arkham walls."

"Yes, and how very creative." Trent smiled

"Thank you."

Harleen looked up, to see both Bullocks above her.

"Harvey...here to gloat on my recent failure or are you just happy to see me?" Harleen asked...a little disoriented

"Nah I'm stuck as the temp sucker around here, this is my brother Carlo, he will be the permanent sucker."

"Yeah, so good luck escaping pig tails, cause it ain't gonna work." he assured her. They walked away

"Oh yeah! You'll see you smug fat little bastards! I'll escape and then I'll be seeing Disney on Ice and I'll be laughing atcha-ha-ha! . . . I need a better plan." She groaned

Oh you guys are gonna love this one. Harvey and Carlo were in the command center, jostling between the monitors, and Cartoon Network. It was a Kids Next Door Marathon

"_Or how about the time you let Numbah 1 into our secret Arctic Headquarters-when his only disguise was a T-Shirt with "I'm not Numbah 1" Written on it!"_

"_Well, I didn't expect an article of clothing to lie!"_

"_Ugh! Face it Lou, you're too gullible!"_

"Ha! That Toiletnater cracks me up." Chef laughed stuffing his face with peanuts and cracker jack.

"I know, why'd dey ever cancel dat show?"

"Who knows, could be low ratings, could be low advertizing budget...studio could have burned down?"

"...I like da studio ting."

"Me too."

Speaking of bogus disguises, Harleen was decked out in a pizza delivery boys outfit, with a box of pizza...and to put the icing on the stupidity cake...a fake mustache.

"Ya know I would have an easier time believeing this myself...if it wasn't for the mustache." Owen sighed, as he was the watchman

"Oh hush Pengers and cover me."

"Ugh, this is not going to end well."

She walked into the room after stuffing her pigtails into the hat, then she deepened her voice as best she could.

"Ah-he-hem, pizza for the Brothers' Bullock."

"Yeah dats gr-pizza you say?"

"Pizza? Where?" Chef asked

"Right here fellas, courtesy of Quincy Sharp...you know for all your hard work and junk." the two smelled the pizza as Harleen began to sweat.

"Well it certainly smells like pizza." Chef said

"Wait a sec, where's it from?" Carlo asked

"Yeah-yeah where?"

"Uh...uh...P-Papa...Ceaser's...Domino...Hut?" she asked fearing the worst.

"Oh yeah, dey got some good bread sticks." Chef remembered

"Well what are we-" Chef was about to open the box, when he remembered something "Wait a second...Papa-Ceaser's-Domino-Hut closed down years ago!"

"Oh yeah dat's right." they gave her suspicious looks

"Well if you don't believe me-SEE FOR YOURSELVES!" she opened the box, spewing knockout gas into their faces. Needless to say the passed out right quick.

"Yes! Harleen Quinzel you are a genius." she said grabbing the keys and sitting at the monitors "Why should I be the only Arkhamite enjoying the greatness that is Disney on Ice, when the whole prison can see it too." she looked for the unlock main gate button...DISNEYSUCKS! But before she could, a Batarang knocked the keys from her hands

[CHINK]

"Huh, what the-GASP-B-Man!" There on the rafters was Batman

"Afternoon Harleen." he jumped down "Going somewhere?"

**To Be Continued...DISNEY SUCKS**

**And reviews are good! Just like cheese steaks, and puppies, and roller coasters, and the New York Giants, And a fresh Sunny D and-. . .**


	153. TryTry Again, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"Papa Caesar's Domino Hut? Really?" Batman asked "Come on Harleen, don't tell me you've lost your edge."

"Aw come on B-Man, show some heart will ya! I just wanna go see Disney on Ice! Is that so wrong?" she gave him the face.

"Well it wasn't until you wanted to break out every inmate at the asylum to go with you."

Oh, heh-heh, you heard that?"

"Even if you only wanted to break yourself out, I couldn't allow that...after all, you are insane."

"Not when I'm seeing the goodness that is Disney on Ice!"

"Well you're not, now get out of here, and go something less- escap-y!" he ordered

"Yes sir." . . . she stopped short "Would it help if I said I was sorry for trying to kill y-"

"GO!"

Yes sir." she scooted out

"Hey, where you going what hap...pened." Owen walked in to see Batman "Heh-heh, bad time." he ran away.

Batman groaned, and awoke the Brothers' Bullock, asleep on the office floor.

"For crying out loud-Guys wake up!" he ordered

"Huh...what?"

"What the..?" they woke up.

"Cowl Head?"

"Bats!" they stood up.

"Ain't still yo bedtime?" Chef asked

"Listen up you Jokers, Harleen Quinzel is bent more than ever to try and escape, you are to make sure she does not, got it?"

"What's da big deal Freak?" Carlo asked

"Yeah, can't be that hard, and plus, we got oodles of new and creative security devices in which to use."

"I know, just make sure she stays in, GOT IT!"

"Got it." they groaned

"Good, and keep this in mind fellas, she is sister to Harley Quinn." with that he left

"He does strike a good point."

"Shut up Harvey."

. . .

"You really think she can escape?" Carlo asked

"Nah, what she has in creativity, she lacks in brains, anything she does should be cake."

Speaking of Cake, a giant ass cake was being rolled to the front gate by some inmates, stopped of course by the guards.

"Halt!"

"Evening Officer." Zeke said casually

"What are you doing with this cake Crane?"

"Oh you know...cake, stuff."

"Yeah, pull the other one."

"What my overly perspired friend is trying to say is, we baked this cake for the Commissioner, and feel it should be delivered personally." Alejandro explained

"Yeah, hmm-mmm." the guard tried the cake "Hmm, tastes fine to me...but, I am going to have to get it checked out, nonetheless." he got over his radio "Detective Bullock?"

"_What now?"_

"211 at the front gate."

"_A giant ass cake?"_

"Yup, looking right at it."

"_Ugh, dammit; be right there."_

_. . ._

"What?"

"Uh...the cake?" the guard asked

"Hmm..." he took a taste. "Delicious, well I think this checks out-[SPLAT]"

"Ya-hoo! Free, finally fr-huh?" Harleen jumped from the cake, realizing she was still at Arkham "Ha-ha, whoopsy."

Her next attempt at tomfoolery was use the drain from the laundry room and somehow make it to the sewers.

"Ha, Bullock thinks he's so smart-so clever...hmm-hmm-hmm, I'll show 'im."

BUT, there were in fact cameras down there.

"Heh-heh, looks like we got ourselves a sewer rat." Carlo chuckled

"Please tell me it's ditzy, busty, blond, and in pig tails?" Chef asked entusiastically

"You betchur ass."

"YES! I really wanted to try out this whole plumbing flushing system, observe..." with the push of a button.

FLUSSSSSH

"Uh-oh, that doesn't sound good...[snif-sniff]-oh God,NOT BUFFALO WINGS!" The increased plumbing pushed Harleen back through the pipes and into the laundry room, yet again

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" the brothers watched and laughed

"Man screw Private Investigating, I love this job! Can't see why the other guy up and quit!"

"Wasn't it Bolton?"

"Really?"

Her next attempt involved a completely, hopelessly fabricated, incredibly, piss-poor excuse for a mini glider plane she made in arts and crafts...in about 10 minutes. (You would think the guards would be on top of this?)

Anyway it was essentially three 2x4's, slapped together, with a seat, a 3x16 wingspan, with old newspaper slapped on for the wind resistance, and picture the rest of it made of old Popsicle sticks and Elmer's Glue.

Anyway, Scott, Trevor, Owen, and Duncan helped her move her monstrosity to the roof of the main building, they pointed it in the direction of Gotham city, as the sun began to set. Everyone gazed at it's Crimson beauty.

"Wow, ain't it beautiful?" Owen asked

"Yes, like tooth decay-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." Duncan chuckled

"Uh, Harleen, you sure this is a good idea?" Trevor asked

"Oh course not! But Disney on Ice waits for no man...or woman." she sat in the old desk chair and put on her flight helmet "Alright, I just need a little lift off, til I can get some wind under this propeller."

"You are aware, this thing is basically made up of 2x4's, Popsicle sticks, nails, Elmer's glue, and newspaper?" Trevor asked

"I know right? I actually ran out of glue and had to use Scotch tape!"

"Ugh...Harl...need I remind you-EVERYTHING on this...flying machine-"

"Glider." she corrected

"Whatever...is flammable."

"I'm aware of that, yes."

"You know I vaguely remember busting someone years ago trying to do something just like this from atop the GothCorp Building...which leads me to believe this-IS DEFINATELY NOT GOING TO WORK!" Scott fumed trying to talk her out of it.

"Oh hush Shifty old boy, why hinder her necklace manner, last time I checked this was America after all, right?" Joker chuckled evilly

"Yeah, what Mistah J said." Harleen agreed...even though he just wants to see her bleed and cry.

"Alright Harls, let's get you airworthy!" he gave her a push. "Contact-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" and she started for the edge of the roof.

"...Pack of smokes says she doesn't even clear the roof." Trevor said "Any takers?"

"I'll give her 10 feet snatch."

"20 for me." Owen wanted in

"Wa-hoo!" SEE YA LOSERS!" she actually did clear the roof, and started to fly. Batman watched from atop a guard tower

"You have...got to be kidding me."

Even though she was losing altitude fast, she was still in the air, and still had enough clearance for the wall.

"I'm gonna make it...I-I'm gonna make it! Disney on Ice, here I come! NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW!"

Except...this-

"That's it Quinzel this time you've gone too far!" Chef suddenly appeared at the seat of an AA gun, which appeared from a trap door in the roof of the front wall. He started firing

"What the-oh come on, An ANTI-AIR-CRAFT-[SMASH]-gun...[gulp.]" she held up a sign that read 'yikes' gave a quick wave...and then plummeted back to the yard-[CRASH]

"...SHIT! She cleared the roof! Dammit!" Trevor complained

"And, that was at least 20 feet! So I win!"

"Bullsh*t Cobblepot! I wanna measurement!"

"Oh is that so?"

"Nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Duncan simply fell over laughing.

Still undaunted she decided on a new tactic. She used a line of tied together blankets, and used them to climb down the other side of the wall.

"Okay, got me?" she asked Izzy, Lindsey and Eva above.

"Yup."

"Don't worry sis."

"We gotcha."

"Great, see ya later girls, I'll bring you back mouse ears!" she whispered-yelled, and climbed down to the ground outside of the asylum. "Ha, what suckers!" she turned around running right into the Brothers...giving her dirty looks. "Damn." she held her head and walked back.

But she still did not want to give up. She made another crazy flying contraption. An actual pair of wings, glued together, and she used actual feathers.

"Icarus much?" Dora asked attaching the wings to her back

"Now-now, there's no sun in the way, I'll be fine."

"You'd think you'd learn something after your last flying fiasco."

"I did Dora! See, I used actual Super Glue, and I made a decent frame out of actual balsa wood!"

"And I'll be here to see you actually fail!"

"Humph, no mouse ears for you!"

"Oh, I'm so devastated."

"You should be." she was ready to leap out the window. She did, and turns out, the wings...worked!

"You've gotta be-" Dora looked in shock.

"HA! I knew it! I knew ITTTTT!" she started flying for the edge, "I'm gonna make it! I'm gonna make it! I'm gonna-[CHINK]-NOOOOOOOO!" A Batarang hit the wings, causing them to fall, and Harleen with them, she hit the top of the wall. Batman stood above her

"NO! No way B-Man! I'm seeing Disney on Ice-IF IT KILLS ME!"

"Harl-you don't have to-"

"Oh but I do!" she kicked, but he dodged and did a quick ankle pick.

Which Harleen managed to avoid, she threw herself back to her feet, she threw some combos, all of which Batman dodged quite easily. Then he threw some blows her way, it actually seemed like Harleen would have the upper edge, until she made a critical round-house error, and ended up in cuffs.

"NO! No fair-No fair! You...you...Big...Erg-STUPID DOO-DOO HEAD!"

Batman carried the psycho nurse back to her cell.

"Time for Bed Harleen." he threw her in.

"No! NOOOOOOO!" he started to walk away "I'll get you for this Bats! You think I won't-oh but I will-I WILL!" Batman approached the tired brothers

"Well, it looks like you both seem to have things under control. I misjudged you both."

"Thanks Bats, good luck defending da night and stuff." Carlo wished him.

"Thanks."

"Man, this job was so easy, the next week is gonna fly by!" Chef cheered

"Come on, let's go for a doughnut run."

. . .

"NOOOOO! NOW I'LL NEVER SEE DISNEY ON ICCCCCCCE!" she sobbed drifting off to sleep.

The next morning, Harleen awoke to find herself in the back of a van.

"Huh...wha-I'm out of Arkham." she noticed

"Brilliant deduction lambchop." came the familiar voice of

"MISTAH G!" she gave him a big wet smooch and sat shotgun

"You didn't think I'd forget you? Did you Harl?"

"Well...a little." she said sheepishly "How did you bust me out?"

"Oh it was easy really...pose as a doughnut delivery man, and those two fat morons were putty in my hands."

"Really-wait...doughnut shops deliver?"

"Nope." he said smugly

"Oh clever."

"Look I know I've been gone for a long time poo, I just needed a little fresh air and I just had to pick a few things up, and speaking of which, would a forgetful boyfriend miss these?" he held up two tickets

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! DISNEY! ON! ICEEEEEEEEEE! EEEEEEEEEEEE! And these are like the best seats!"

"Yup, we'll actually feel the frostbite!"

"How'd you get these?"

"Ferris Boyle still has his connections-oh, and you certainly can't go to Disney on Ice, without these."

"AHHHHHHHH! Mouse ears? Oh where;d you get th-wait, who's George?" she asked reading the name on the back

"Uh...

**-Epcot, 2 Days Earlier-**

"_I'll be back dad I just gotta use the bathroom."_

"_Alright George, but be quick about it will ya?"_

"_Sure thing pop..."_

_. . ._

"_Hey kid...wanna see a magic trick?"_

"_Sure thing Sketchy gray haired guy with a dark hood."_

"_Alright, I am going to make a pair of mouse ears, disappear, close your eyes...and, Ala-ca-steal! SEE YA SUCKER!"_

"_WAHHHHHHHHH!"_

**-Present Day-**

"Wait a second...You went to Epcot?"

"What, I've been gone awhile."

"Oh Puddin! I'm so happy-Thank you-thank-you-thank-you-thank-you!" she gave him a hug

"Anything for my favorite nurse-Now come on, let's go see middle aged figure skaters dress like amusing copyrighted beloved children's characters and see them do sow-cows and such...or watch them fall."

"Sounds great! Have I ever told ya how much I adore you?"

"I don't know...why don't you show me..."

**The End...**

**Alright boys and girls, Part I of the SEASON 7 Season finale online up next. Glad you enjoyed, Review as always, and uh-yeah, see ya!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Arleen Sorkin: **Harleen Quinzel

**Robert Costanzo: **Carlo Bullock

**Maurice LaMarche: **Warden Quincy Sharp

**Drew Nelson: **Duncan Napier

**Scott McCord: **Owen Cobblepot

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Lindsey Quinzel

**Marco Grazzini: **Alejandro Dent

**Peter Oldring: **Ezekiel Crane

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Gwen Kyle

**Rachel Wilson: **Heather Al Ghul

**Katie Crown: **Izzy Isley

**Jennifer Hale: **Dora Smithy

**Cle Bennett: **DJ Hughes

**Adam Reid: **Justin Jones

**S. Scott Bullock: **Scott O'Connor

**Rob Paulsen: **Trevor Naples

**Billy West: **Jason Cratcheville

**Julia Chantrey: **Eva Evanovich

**Jeff Bennett: **Jack Ryder, Mr. Boss (KND)

**Mari Devon: **Summer Gleeson

**Mark Hamill: **Ferris Boyle/The Gray Goblin

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Guards, Toiletnater (KND)

**Tom Kenny: **Guards, George, George's Dad

**Grey DeLisle: **Crazy Old Cat Lady (KND)


	154. Not In My Town! Part I

**Villain(s): Mad Hatter, Riddler**

**Episode Archive: I'M LOVIN' IT!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Eric Radomski**

**Teleplay By: Alan Burnett&Michael Reaves**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 75: Not In My Town!**

Mayor Hill stood in front of a large crowd, he was used to this. The well chizzled mayor knew his speech from top to bottom. He enjoyed addressing the people of Gotham City, his town. Anyway, his speech had to do mostly with keeping the streets safe and all that jazz...were just gonna cut to the chase cause speeches blow

"And so long as the fine men and women of the Gotham Police force, and the always vigilant Bat Team remain on our side, as your mayor, I can assure with NO DOUBT, that Gotham City, will remain, a safe place to live." there were claps, and the press asked questions like there was no tomorrow.

"Mr. Mayor! Mr. Mayor!"

Mr. Mayor, if I could just have one moment please!"

"Mr. Mayor! Summer Gleeson, Gotham Insider; since your first time elected as mayor years ago, you have always been Pro-Batman, why?"

"Well Summer, the...original Batman helped save my life once, I was more then delighted to know that someone wanted to continue on his legacy."

Mr. Mayor-Mr. Mayor!"

"Yes?"

"Tom Moore with the Gotham Tribune; are you certain it's not the same Batman who just simply took a hiatus?"

"Oh-uh...I can assure you these Batmen are not of the same, trust me."

"Mr. Mayor!"

Mr. Mayor, just one more question!"

"Alright-alright, no further questions, that's it for me." Hill walked towards his limo, with the press on his tail.

Hill returned to his stately mansion soon after, to his young son Jordan, who was performing some magic tricks as he really wanted to become a magician.

"Jordan?"

"Hiya pop."

"You perfected that Dove trick yet?" he asked

"No not yet, I can't seem to-ah dammit! Stupid doves!" they jumped from his sleeve

"Well whenever you do get it, I know guy dieing to see it."

"Sigmund Froyd?"

"What? No, me!"

"Oh, right."

Outside his front door, stood the Mad Hatter, with a devilish plan of his own, he approached the front door and put on a fake handlebar mustache. Because that just works every time.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha, now all I have to do is implant Mayor Hill with my mind controlling technology, and then, the Batman will cease to exist...and all it will take...is a little persuasion." Yes because your mustache will really sell it. [knock-knock-knock]

"I got it dad!" Jordan called he answered the door

"Good evening, young man, is your father home?"

"...Dad, the Mad Hatter's at the door, shall I get the bat?" he asked. Hatter did a facepalm

"No need son." Ham said walking into the foyer.

"Whew." Hatter sighed of relief.

"Because the fire stoker, will work just fine!" he grabbed the stick from the fireplace.

"Oh come on! GOSH!"

"If you had any brains Tetch, you would get out of my house, and vacate my property immediately, got it?

"But...I'm not actually in your hou-"

"GOT IT!"

"Yes sir!" Hatter sheepishly dashed away.

"Grr-rotten little." Hill groaned

"They've certainly gotten more and more original since you put the mask and cape on, eh dad?"

"Crazier's more like it son."

"You sure it's wise to be reliving the old days? What would mom say?"

"She would say, go for it...just keep Jordan safe." he gave his son a hug.

"Thanks." Jordan picked up his tricks from the living room "So, are you certain the new guy is Trent Wayne?"

"Oh yeah, I could confirm it with 100% certainty, and you know that's between you and me."

"Right."

"Good." . . . "I think I'll go out tonight, ya know work with an old friend."

"Just be careful will ya?"

"Son, I've been careful since before you were born."

"That reminds me...why did you just stop being Batman?" Jordan asked

"My old rogues finally got the picture, we were all getting old, those old games had to just stop, fortunately they realized it faster than I did. Now they all live reasonably successful lives, plus, it happened about 15 years ago...and if you ask me not a moment too soon."

"What happened 15 years ago?"

"You were born."

Later that evening Hatter sat at a bar in Park Row. Twas one of the nicer bars, but mind you twas also the sh*ttiest neighborhood in the entire city.

"Brandy please."

"Hey, ain't you the Mad Hatter?" the bartender asked

"I got money."

"...Okay." he shrugged.

"Sigh! Life, why do you hate me so!" Hatter looked to his right, a few stools down was another familiar face...but in street clothes

"Hey Noah, the usual?"

"Make it a triple Tony." he told the bartender

"Ouch, one of those days, huh?"

"One of those weeks."

"Ya know, a friend of yours is just a couple of stools down."

"Huh?" Noah looked to his left. "Harold?"

"Riddler old chum, how goes it?"

"Miserable." he chugged down his drink. "You know, I'm really starting to hate my old profession, no love, no perks, no fame...just another working stiff...a regular schnook." he chugged the second drink "But as Riddler...life was fun...to an extent."

"I agree...You know, today I tried to put Hill under my control to get rid of the Bat team...sounded like fun, til he chased me off his lawn."

"That does sound like fun...My stepbrother Dr. Steinreich, he too made a specific mind control device, with my own which will be able to effectively control a mind, where we can make the person do anything."

"Wait, isn't he the guy who tried to kill us all...with Vertigo, Vanzetti, and Freeze?"

"He wasn't really going to kill me, I went along with his plan so it didn't look like I knew anything."

"Gee thanks."

"Look, that aside, we can control Hill's mind...so we can get rid of them, that my friend, will give us the spark back in our boring lives again, come on...I know a thing or two about stealth, Tony, his drink's on me." Noah slapped some cash on the table "Keep the change."

"You got it."

Batgirl was busy chasing a few street toughs through a dark ally, the two came to a dead end, well sorta, a fire escape that would take them to the roof of a larger building.

"Quick!"

"This way!"

"Up here, let's go!"

"Dammit! Get back here!" Batgirl ordered

"Ha! Maybe next time girly!"

"Hmm, well we alluded the bat-brat." they made it to the roof. Only to be shocked at the figure waiting for them

"GASP!"

"Evening fellas...where's the fire?" Batman asked

"It's the bat!" the two drew their guns. Batman opened a Batarang, tossing it, he knocked out both guns.

"Aw!"

"Ow!" he lunged at the one thug, knocking him out, then turned to the other.

"You little!" [thwack-thud-punch-gak]" a brief fist fight ensued, but in the end, the other thug, met the same fate as his friend.

"Ung!" he hit the ceiling. Just as Batgirl jumped to the roof.

"Alright you-huh?"

"Oh, good evening Bridgette." he smiled, and launched a Bat hook to another taller building

"Oh no you don't!" she grabbed him by the arm. "Listen Ham...we need to talk."

"Alright..."

The two apprehended both knocked out thugs, and sat on the edge of the roof.

"So it was you in England?"

"That's right."

"Was that your intention?" she frowned

"Not exactly...Alfred called me assuming I was Trent and gave me the details...was a shame it wasn't Gotham but...oh well." he shrugged

"Why are you trying to relive your glory days exactly?" she asked

"Life just got boring...plus I really wanted to see what all this fuss was about with this NEW Batman, so I felt like I had to go back and see if this city needed more help."

"Makes sense...when did you realize it was Trent?"

"He slipped up. Remember a few years back when Joker made his debut at Alejandro's testimonial dinner?"

"Yeah."

"I figured I would have to be the one to stop that lunatic, assuming Batman and you guys would be elsewhere...I dashed into the bathroom, and locked myself in a stall...I was having the damndest time trying to get my pants off for some reason, but I noticed someone was outside already changing, I looked through the crack in the door, to see Trent suiting up in the Bat armor, after he got out of there, I knew I would have to spectate this...and, he-you guys, were incredible, now I felt safe knowing I needed to retire...It had been 13 years since I put on that uniform, and then an additional 2 before I actually went back in the game."

"So it was your first day back when the Terrible Trio did their thing?"

"Exactly...I stopped 15 years ago for two reasons...my initial rogues gallery had retired themselves, and the police force only got better, plus...that was the year my son was born."

"Oh."

"Even when I was elected mayor years later, I always grew weary knowing there wasn't a Batman to defend the night...then Trent showed up...well...I just felt safe. I recall he started roughly 10 years after I hung up the cape and cowl...Now, I'm back, a little older, but a lot wiser."

"But, you're like...40."

"43 but whose counting."

"Well, it's nice to know we got more help."

"Thanks...And don't worry Bridgette, so long as I'm in office, the name Batman will have a respected place in Gotham. Well, it's passed my bedtime, best be getting home...goodnight." he winked, then flew away."

Ham had returned home, and showered up, he noticed a slightly healed gash along the right side of his body.

"Aw dammit, that's what's been stinging me." he put his robe on, and left his bathroom "Where in the world did I put that peroxide-"

"Late night mayor?" came Riddler's voice, leave his closet.

"Riddler!"

"Can't forget me, can you?"

"Hatter!" he jeered

"That's right dear mayor." they got closer

"What do you both want?" he asked

"What we want, Mr. Mayor...is to end the Batman-"

"And his team!"

"That was implied Harold! Anyway, you're going to help us do it."

"I don't think so."

"Oh really, what makes you so sure?"

"You'll see..." he went to lift a batarang from his robe pocket.

"See this!" Riddler quickly drew a special gun, and zapped Hill with a small microchip which buried into his head.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" he screamed

"Now mayor...we have but one order for you..."

"What's that?"

"Kill...the Batman."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**And sorry it took me so long. **


	155. Not In My Town! Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Twas the next morning, and Trent was eating a bowl of Jeremy Irons Cereal. Oh how bland and boring it was.

"Good morning Master Trent." Alfred greeted him.

"Good morning Alfred."

"Rough night of crime fighting sir?"

"Hmm-no worse than usual, 6 muggings, 2 armed robberies, stopped a home invasion in Bayside, gave Killer Croc the business..."

"So, the usual eh?"

"Yup."

"Well perhaps some mind numbing television will pump the old electrolytes." Alfred turned on the TV in the kitchen...yeah I said it, he's got a TV in his kitchen.

"_Jack Ryder here with an impromptu speech from his honor the mayor at his office."_

"_Thank you Jack. Listen up Gotham! We are in danger of an excruciating evil within our fair city. The BAT Team are nothing but trouble! I now realize what a pain and a nuisance they are to MY city!"_

[SPIT-TAKE] "WHAT!"

"_So that's why I, as your mayor, am offering a reward, to ANYONE who can catch and bring the Bat-Team to me, the prize...$1,000,000,000!"-[CRASH] Trent threw the remote right at the TV, breaking it_

"Shall I get the replacement TV sir?" Alfred asked

"Yeah." Trent sighed recomposing himself

"And might I say, whew, that's a lot of money." Alfred noticed

"ALFRED!"

"Kidding sir."

Bridgette watched the same broadcast from her apartment, she could not believe what she was hearing.

"No...no this can't be...it just can't!" suddenly her phone rang. "Hello?"

"_Baby cakes, were you just watching the news?"_

"Yes, I can't believe it! I'm certain mayor Hill isn't thinking clearly!"

"_Oh really...how?"_

"How cause...c-cause I just know okay!"

"_Okay-okay chill, look; I'll talk to the old man about it you just...just be cool, and stay in at night, I know people will do anything to get you guys, one billion's a lot of cheese ." he hung up_

"Yeah...it really is..." she angrily slammed her fist on the table "Dammit this can't be right."

Twas later that afternoon, and in the Bat-Cave, was a meeting with Geoff, Cody, and for some reason Sara.

"Where's the boss man?" she asked

"Making the big bucks so I can relax comfortably in my adult years." Cody smiled

"Don't you mean OUR adult years?" she asked playfully

"Oh God." Geoff rolled his eyes. He was at the Bat-Computer.

"So, any reason as to why Hill is going nuts?" Cody asked

"Not sure, but I'll bet you he's not acting under his own control...someone has got to be putting him up to this...And I'm gonna find out who."

"Well while you do that, Sara and I have a solid lead on Ra's Al Ghul, in Newfoundland, were checking it out." Cody said suiting up in the Robin suit.

"Good luck little bro."

Robin and the Exterminator left in the Bat-Wing en route to Newfoundland. While closer to home Trent was in his office wondering why Mayor Hill was being such a schnook.

"It doesn't make any sense." Trent sneered looking out his office window. "Why would he say one thing one day, and then something completely different the next day! Erg! Nothing makes sense!" Lucius Fox entered the office. "Lucius."

"I saw the news Mr. Wayne...most unfortunate."

"Yeah well, I doubt he's thinking on his own...I originally thought of the Mad Hatter but there's no way he could get close enough to Hill to do so...plus, there's no 10/6 card behind his ear."

"Well I'm certain Nighthacker is on the subject. You can rest assured I'll keep my ear to the street as well."

"Thanks Lucius."

"You are going to discontinue your patrolling, correct?"

"Why? I can allude a few money obsessed amateur mercenaries, and besides crime waits for no man."

"Sigh, I swear Mr. Wayne that slogan will be the death of you."

"Yeah...feel like a little blues Luc-ius?" Trent asked picking up his guitar, only to see Lucius had did a vanishing act...

"Humph, figures." Trent sighed.

Batgirl wanted to learn more as to why their esteemed Mayor was suddenly anti-Batman. So she stood atop a ledge across the street from city hall, and looked at the mayor in his office through her binoculars. So far, he just sat at his desk and did some...mayor stuff.

"Ugh...why on earth is he doing this?" she said to herself after over an hour of nada.

. . .

"Hmm-hmm, yes-yes-won't be long now till they'll be mine." Hill said angrily shuffling some papers. His phone rang

_Baby-baby-babe-ohhhhh-_

"What?"

"_Pop, it's Jordan?"_

"Jordan, hi son what can I do for you?"

"_Yeah uh, any particular reason why I saw you hanging out with Riddler and the Mad Hatter before work?"_

"Why, they're my friends of course."

"_What? But you nearly clubbed Hatter in the chops yesterday with the fire stoker? And now you're suddenly friends?"_

"Now Jordan...yesterday was uh...just a game-guys play...you know...you pretend like you wanna beat each other up, but in reality, you just want to give them some money and let them borrow your Italian sports car."

"_Wait-what?" suddenly, Hatter and Riddler entered his office_

"Oh sorry son, I uh-I got a meeting, I'll be home late tonight, okay?" he said before hanging up.

"Yeah...late." Jordan sighed

"Sorry Mr. Mayor, but uh-10 pence here crashed your Lambo." Riddler said tossing him the keys

"That's okay, as long as you're alright." Hill said calmly. Inside the part of his brain not controlled, this is what he wanted to say...

. . .

YOU MISERABLE LITTLE BASTARDS! HOW YOU DARE YOU CRASH MY LAMBORGHINI! ARE YOU AWARE OF THE COST YOU STUPID PSYCHOPATHS!

. . .

"So, how is our Bat-hunt?" Hatter asked

"So far no ones found them, you are aware they only come out at night, right?"

"Well it is getting to be that time, I'll stay by the phones."

"Good."

Batgirl couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"I knew it! I knew Hatter and Riddler would have to be the crooks and the bamboozlers behind this!"

… "Got her." A SWAT sniper noticed from an adjacent building

. . .

"Hang on gentlemen." Hill got a call from the mayor phone "Yes?"

"_This is Captain Moncourtois sir, GCPDSWAT sniper, I got a visual on Batgirl."_

"Where is she?" Hill stood up

"_Across the street from you." Hill turned around_

"Sh*t." Batgirl muttered

"_Get her, it's on your hands Captain!" Hill hung up _"Gentlemen, wait here won't you I must be getting off to Police HQ." he said grabbing his jacket "Please enjoy my complimentary honor bar."

"Oh don't worry, we will." Riddler smiled

. . .

"Aw dammit he's leaving, did he see me?" Batgirl asked herself Then suddenly a police helicopter appeared in front of her.

"BATGIRL! THIS IS THE GOTHAM CITY POLICE DEPARTMENT!" No really, I thought it was MI5! "GIVE UP NOW!"

"Ha! Not likely!" She launched a bat hook to the nearest building and swung towards it. "Gotta get to dad!" she said to herself.

"Stay on her!" The chopper pilot ordered. Batgirl jumped onto the ledge of the building she swung to

"Just gotta find-[bang-bang]" several shots whizzed passed her.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, that's it Batgirl, you won't get far." the sniper chuckled

"I'd know those shots anywhere, Captain Eli Moncourtois! I gotta allude him and this chopper! Great, I hope Batman is having better luck then I am."

Not really! Batman was doing his catching the criminals thing, it involved himself in one of the Sh*ttiest ally ways in the sh*ttiest neighborhood in town, Park Row. Batman had just subdued a wanton mugger.

"Oof-aq-gah!" he passed out.

"Now really, was that so hard?" Batman asked sarcastically. As he turned around he found out quickly he wasn't alone. "Huh?" a rather large gang of hoodlums was in front of him, on top of boxes, and in the windows of the nearby apartment.

"So, that Batman?" the lead man said in a tough guy accent.

"Evening fellas, am I in the wrong neighborhood?" he asked with just a hint of sarcasm.

"Ha-ha! Funny!" another gangster said "Not exactly, but you are about to be mincemeat, see we want that cool bill old man mayor's offering..."

"And we know there's no way you can beat us all."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah punk! So make this easy. Cause your messing with the Green Skulls now!"

"Oh I'll make it easy alright." Batman said as the gang closed in on him.

As for Robin and the Exterminator, they were en route to the land that was founded anew. They were closing on a land mass they assumed to be Newfoundland.

"Alright, we've gotta be closing in." Robin said

"Quick question...who was this anonymous lead you got on Ra's?" Ex asked

"Huh, you know, he didn't say...I assumed he was just some guy who-"

"_Warning-incoming missiles-warning-incoming missiles- commence evasive maneuvers!" the computer blared_

"Gah! CODY!"

"It's okay! I got this!" Robin maneuvered his way around the missiles, which kept following them, as they were heat seeking

"Damn, those Canadians sure know how to play hardball!" Robin sighed

"CODY!"

"Huh-whoa-CRASH!" another missile snuck up on them and blasted the wing to smithereens.

And now to police Headquarters where Commissioner Gordon was angrily in on a phone call.

"NO! No, Moncourtois, listen to me! I don't want you to top Batgirl...I don't care what the mayor said you buffoon-I'M-YOUR BOSS-I sign your paychecks, AND I'M saying-you don't touch her-GOT IT! That's an order Captain! … Why do you care why-JUST-DON'T DO IT!" he slammed the phone down "Got-DAMMIT-Hill what the hells gotten into you!" he fumed throwing things about his office. "Turned this damn city into freaking Mercenary pit!"

[knock-knock-knock]

"WHAT!" chef walked in with a smile on grin to grin

"Evening Commish'"

"Chef, what's with the goofy smile?"

"Life could not be better, ever since the mayor declared Cowl Head and is team outlaws, I haven't lost this frown all day! It's a dream come true I tell you wh-"

"That's great chef! Now vamoose! I got a lot of sh*t going down right now!"

"Like what boss?"

"Like what...LIKE WHAT! First of all! Hill decided to have a complete moment of insanity when he out of the blue decides to make Batman and his team outlaws-THEN, puts a 12 figure sum on their heads and this city turns into bounty hunters suddenly, God knows where Vanzetti and Bolton are, they would be in Heaven! NOW I got a precinct and a half chasing Batgirl through downtown! I got Moncourtois out there pretending he's Vasili Zaytsev! And I got no way to contact Batman! IN ALL DETECTIVE BULLOCK! THIS DAY HAS BEEN COMPLETE SHIT!" Chris fumed

"...Chris...why do you care about them so much?" Harvey asked calmly

"J-just...c-c—cause I do Harvey-cause I just do! Just...leave will ya?"

"Yeah...yeah sure." Chef closed the door. And walked away.

… "GOT DAMMIT!" he fumed "And worse of all, my little girl is out there being victim to MY officers and being a practice target for one of the greatest paramilitary snipers this side of the-

"CRASH-Gasp-gasp-gasp!" Suddenly Batgirl crashed through his office window

"BATGIRL!"

"Dad listen, I know why Hill's messed up-he's" she was cut short by him giving his daughter a hug

"Screw it...all I care about right now is your safe and-" then his door flung open

"Commissioner, fantastic, you captured Batgirl." Hill said, he was accompanied by several officers, and Bullock.

"Uh...y-yeah." Chris said sheepishly walking back to his desk.

"Great give her here, rest assured your prize will be payed in full." Hill assured him . .. "Well...I'm waiting." Chris didn't know what to do, he could tell Hill was not acting on his own, but he couldn;t outlandishly say she was his daughter, and he certainly couldn;t let them take her. He looked at Batgirl, sobbing.

"You can't let him take me...please." she sobbed nearly whispering. Chris just froze. Batgirl got as close as she could "Dad...they'll kill me." she said at a complete whisper. "Please..."

**TO BE CONTINUED...R&R por favor**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Peter Oldring: **Cody

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Nightwing

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Rhinehart/The Exterminator

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill/V-Bat (do you guys like V-Bat or Bat1?)

**Carter Hayden: **Noah Nygma/Riddler

**Brian Froud: **Harold Tetch/Mad Hatter

**Tress MacNeille: **Jordan Hill, Press, additional voices

**Jeff Bennett: **Jack Ryder, Thug #1, additional voices

**Corey Burton: **Bartender, Thug #2, additional voices

**Diedrich Bader: **Green Skulls Leader

**Mark Hamill: **Eli Moncourtois

**Phil LaMarr: **Gang member

**Mari Devon: **Summer Gleeson


	156. Not In My Town! Part III

**Villain(s): Riddler, Mad Hatter, Dr. Hans Steinreich**

**Episode Archive: BUTTSCRATCHA' **

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Bruce Timm**

**Teleplay By: Randy Rogel&Butch Hartman**

**Art Direction: James Tucker**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 76: Not In My Town! (Part II)**

In the Bat-Cave Nighthacker was burning the midnight oil looking for some sort of clue as to why Mayor Hill was acting like a world class douche. Needless to say, he was very tired, and very hungry.

"Yawwwwwwwwn."

"Evening Master Geoffrey."

"GAH! Oh Alfred. Damn don't sneak up on me like that."

Sorry sir, I'll go from being as quiet as a mouse to as quiet as an ant next time...Anyway, I assumed you would peckish, so I fixed your supper." he placed a tray of food in front of him "Bonn-appetite."

"Thanks." Nighthacker plunged some bits of food into his tired gullet.

"I was also at your loft today and-"

"What were you doing at my place?" he asked mouth full

"I had assumed you did not get your laundry done, and a load of skivvies and shirts confirms it...however while there I made a startling discovery."

"Did Consuela leave the water running again?"

"Consuela sir?"

"Yeah I got a maid, she comes in on Tuesdays."

"Humph, maids." Alfred rolled his eyes "But no, I found this ring, in a box." he held it up

"Oh that, It's an engagement ring for Bridgette."

"...Pardon me sir, but I expected at least a little white lie, a stutter, not just come out with it."

"Too tired for subtlety Alfred, just put it back will ya?"

"Sure thing sir...So, has your search been completely fruitless?" he asked approaching the computer

"No not at all, or at least I think." Nighthacker explained. "I hacked into several security camera feds. Seems our old friend Noah Nygma is seen here at an Electronics Dispensary after hours in East Brooklyn...the night before the broadcast Hill gave, he picked up a small chip from this guy here." he pointed to a darkened figure in front of Riddler at the dispensary. "Hopefully with a few techy-fixy-cooleo...thingy's, I should be able to see the guys face..." he killed the darkness in the back drop and enhanced the visual lighting, the two gasped

"GASP!"

"Dr. Steinreich!"

"Of course! No one can figure technology like that guy, it has to be him! And I shoud have know Nygma would be the one to easily swindle the mayor, after all he hasn't seen Arkham in nearly a year."

"We must warn Master Trent at once!"

"Can't, he ordered radio silence in case someone could pick up our signal...funny thing is, I haven't heard from Cody or Sara in hours, and they kept their radios on...just until they reached Newfoundland."

"Peculiar." Alfred pondered

"More than that...check this out." Nighthacker brought up a newspaper clipping

"Why the man in that photo looks exactly like Ra's Al Ghul!" Alfred gasped, he read the caption "Russian authorities chase down mad plot to overthrow the government, orchestrated by famed Eco-terrorist Ra's Al Ghul. The maniac and his several henchmen escaped to the isle of Novia Zemlya, and haven't been seen since."

"Here's what really gets me, that paper came out today! Cody told me he's been looking over a lead for two weeks! Not even Ra's Al Ghul can be in two places at once."

"You think it's a setup?" Alfred asked

"Oh yeah...whoever this guy is, he knew Batman would never leave his fair city behind, the same with Batgirl...but Robin, would travel abroad whenever someone needed him to, and with Sara helping him out it's that much easier...it's someone besides Ra's who knows us better than we do..." he thought "Someone smart...someone who's good at manipulation."

"Well...you know that can only point to one other man." Alfred went back to the security feed

"Yeah, who's that?"

"Hans Steinreich."

Speaking of him, we cutscene now to the lair of the maniac, in an old partially hidden decommissioned military base built into the side of a hill overlooking the ocean. In one of the command center's Hans looked at his chained up, and beaten captives.

"So...you really aren't as smart as you look Robin." he said in that sophisticated yet evil voice. "I should have figured the boy blunder would answer my distress calls about the Demon's Head-hmm-hmm-hmm. Of course you realize he is in Russia somewhere."

"Ha! I knew that!" Robin shouted trying to get his goat

"No you didn't."

"Way to be supportive honey."

"And by the way-man, did I not see this coming! Robin and the Exterminator...together. Now I see the fiasco at the abandoned subway station was an inside job...clever, and getting Trent Wayne's ass kicking butler involved, brilliant, I've misjudged you clearly." he poured himself a drink "But seriously, Sara, what would Tuck say if he knew?"

"Ha-"

"Don't answer I won't tell him, I could care less, he's disliked me ever since the job, saying it was my fault...whatever, his loss right?"

"So, what is your plan Steinreich?" Ex asked

"Easy, I got you two here, Lord knows where's Nightwing's been, and I'll have the police swarming around Batgirl and Batman before you know it...Hatter and Riddler did a perfect job of swindling that fool mayor Hill into making you outlaws...and with you lot out of the way, the only thing left to do...is take over the city. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." he chuckled

Back to Batman...I'm assuming you're all thinking he's kicking each and every one of their asses?

"Ow-ow-ow-oof!"

"Oh please God n-[thwack]"

"Alright, look pal-t-t-takeit easy-[punch]"

"No Batman! I'm so-[SLAM]"

"Well, that ought to do it." Batman rubbed his hands together, and turned his attention to the injured Skull leader trying to getaway.

"N-n-n-no-no-no please!" he grabbed him by the collar

"Not so fast you slime! I happen to know you guys base yourselves out of Cherry Hill, not Crime Ally, you were sent by someone, I wanna know who?"

"N-n-n-n-no one! I swear we was just...ya know traveling abroad!"

"Wrong answer!" he slammed him against a wall.

"Really! I'm serious!"

"You're lying, no one simply brings their entire gang into unfamiliar territory."

"Okay-okay, you got me, we were uh-planning a gang war with the Red Dragons, they live around here honest!"

"Bullsh*t you lying pile of scum! If there was a war-believe me, I would know about it! WHO SENT YOU!" the guy simply cringed "You are aware there are other ways to dealing with this, correct?"

"Okay-fine-fine, I'll sing, Some guy-red headed, old-school, wears a sweater vest, lotta money, told us to look for you, he'd give us 2 billion."

"Wait...red head?"

"Yeah."

"Unhappy demeanor, possibly a split personality?"

"You saw it too?"

"Steinreich..." Batman sneered he threw the guy to the ground "Thanks, I-"

"Freeze!"

"It's the Bat!"

"Don't move Batman! That's an order!"

"Humph." Batman rolled his eyes and threw down a smoke pellet. And then disappeared

"Aw dammit he disappeared!"

"Crap! I could have used that money."

And now back at the stand off at police HQ, why are they always in Chris's office, anyway?

"Commissioner, you've done well, now just hand over Batgirl to me, NOW!" Chris looked at Batgirl who was still sobbing. Then, the wise ass commish' had a plan. He pressed a button under his desk, suddenly his office filled with smoke.

"Cough-cough-cough-Commiss-cough-cough-Commissioner!" Hill coughed, when it finally clearedm the commissioner and Batgirl had vanished "What the?"

"He's gone!" Chef yelled

"Batgirl must have kidnapped her! Find them both!" Hill ordered . . . "Well don't just stand there and gawk at me-GET TO IT!" he ordered

"You heard the mayor let's go!" Chef yelled hurrying the others out of the office.

"I know your games Batgirl and mark my words-I will find you."

The Commissioner grabbed Batgirl by the hand and threw him and herself into one of the nearest bathrooms on that floor.

"Dad-"

"shhhhh...I think we lost them...okay, now tell me...what's happening."

"I think The Mad Hatter and Riddler brainwashed Mayor Hill into hating us, I saw them both in his office."

"Well that makes sense, but he has strong will power, no amount of technology from those two idiots could control him for that long, they must be getting outside help." Chris pondered "Honey you have to find out who."

"Got it."

"And remember, be careful, will ya."

"You bet."

"Good luck Bridge." Just as she was nearly out the window and ready to swing to the next building, who should barge in but Gil Mason

"Gah!"

"Gil."

"Gasp!" Batgirl simply swung away.

"Gil, so help me if you-"

"Not to worry boss, I'm uh-blind as a you-know-what without my contacts." he said with a wink

"Contacts? But you don't wear con-ohhhhhhh, right I gotcha."

"Oh and you can thank me later, I rerouted Moncourtois to Gotham Estates, where they're having some Bat-MAN issues." he winked again

"Ha-ha, will you ever cease to amaze me Mason?"

"Nope, and if you wanna make it up to me, a raise would be nice."

"HA! Keep dreaming son, keep dreaming...but something puzzles me though?"

"What's that?"

"When you got here, you hated these guys...why help em."

"I'm cool with them now, besides, they do a lot of good, I think Hill's nuts, and Caroline hated them far more than I did."

Oh believe me, Hill's nuts alright."

Batman drove the Batmobile safely back to the Bat-Cave where Alfred and Nighthacker were waiting for them.

"So sir, how did it feel to be on the wrong side of the law this evening?" Alfred asked

"Don't start Alfred." Batman sighed

"Sorry sir."

"What did you dig up?" he asked Nighthacker

"Steinreich."

"I know, I hired the Green Skull Gang to wipe me out for twice what Hill promised."

"Yeah well, he gave Riddler the tools to use, and he and Hatter are the ones controlling him."

"Figures as much." suddenly Batgirl rode back on the Bat-Cycle.

"Well I know whose behind th-"

"Steinreich." everyone said in unison

"Oh, I didn't know that...but I did know was-"

"Riddler and Hatter."

"Oh you guys are good."

"Alright, all we have to do, is end this...wait a second...where's Cody?" Batman asked

"We think captured by Steinreich, he and Sara went on a quest to find Ra's, but we think Hans fooled them, last we saw of the Batwing, it went off line completely just as it entered Newfoundland." Geoff brought up the Radar map

"Hmm...you checked for jamming signals, cloaking devices, radar disruptor's?"

"Yup, came up nada...no sun spot activity, Not even God himself...and check this, right by the hill where the wing disappeared, is an old WWII military base, abandoned ever since."

"Hmm...they've been shot down, and that, is where I'm gonna headed." Batman grabbed the keys to the Bat-Boat.

"But, without the wing-"

"I don't need the wing." he said holding up the keys.

"Are you nuts, do you know how long it'll take you by water to get there?" Nighthacker asked

"Of course...but the modifications Lucius and I made to the boat are fenominal...I'll be back in a few hours...Bridgette, you know what you have to do here."

"Of course." she nodded

"Alright, I'll bring them all back, one way...or another." Batman disappeared headed for the hangar down below.

"Well...looks like it's time to make out names good again." she smiled entering the Batmobile.

**To Be Continued...**

**Also guys, sorry for updating so quickly, I really wanna to get this season in the books. Review as always and-oh yes, awhile back the question came to me "You know a lot about voice actors, if Total Drama were made in America, who would voice the characters?" Well, it took some doing, but I finally have the results, here they are...**

**Owen: **Tom Kenny

**Gwen: **Nicole Sullivan

**Heather: **Jennifer Hale

**Duncan: **Mark Hamill

**Leshawna: **Cree Summer

**Geoff: **Rob Paulsen

**Izzy: **Grey DeLisle

**DJ: **Khary Payton

**Lindsey: **Tara Strong (okay shes Canadian sue me!)

**Bridgette: **Mae Whitman

**Trent: **Loren Lester

**Eva: **Tress MacNeille

**Harold: **Jess Harnell

**Courtney: **Jessica DiCicco

**Sadie: **Kath Soucie

**Beth: **E.G. Daily

**Cody: **David Kaufman

**Tyler: **Jeff Bennett

**Katie: **Lauren Tom

**Justin: **Jason Marsden

**Noah: **Billy West

**Ezekiel: **Dee Bradley Baker

**Alejandro: **Carlos Alazraqui

**Sierra: **Hynden Walch

**Chris: **James Arnold Taylor

**Chef: **Dorian Harewood

**Blainley: **Arleen Sorkin (Just cause I want THAT voice)

GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!


	157. Not In My Town! Part IV

**pLeAsE ReViEw**

Batman was traveling up the Atlantic Ocean at a speed faster than Superman on an above average basis. He was coming to the isle of Newfoundland, about to smash into the cliffs where just above lay his young ward and his girl.

"Alright, lose some speed here." He said to himself coming down to a more manageable speed. "Perfect...Well-well, it is an old WWII fortress...where on earth do you find these things Steinreich?"

Batman quietly docked the boat against some sharp jagged rocks submerged in the water jutting out of the base of the cliffs...yeah that's safe. Batman launched a Bat Hook to the top of the cliff, and swung upwards to the top.

"Whoa." as the hill continued to climb, he could see the pill boxes and submerged bunkers and machine gun nests jutting outwards. "Whew, what were the Canadians afraid of?" he asked walking upwards.

However Steinreich had other plans, his multitudes of security cameras captured Batman's approach to the bunker entrance.

"So, the Batman did find me here eh...well, I'm quite impressed, considering I demolished his precious wing, just as I will demolish his precious sidekicks."

"Uh, for the record Hans, I'm not his sidekick."Ex said

"Yeah, shes my sidekick."

"Yeah what he sa-HEY!"

"Silence! The both of you, I have a Batman to dispose of and your killing my joy." Steinreich sneered. He activated the megaphone. . . ."Welcome, Batman!"

"Steinreich!" Batman yelled.

"Good, you know it was my plan, excellent."

"Where's Robin and the Exterminator!" He fumed

"Rest assured your sidekicks are in good hands...but for how long I don't know...hmm-hmm-hmm, if you want them, you'll have to somehow find your way inside the bunker, then you'll have to manever your way through the maze of traps I've devised...If I were you I'd hurry lest...your...g-sidekicks-gah!" he was transforming

"Lest your sidekicks become mincemeat-Ha-HA-ha-HA-ha-HA!" Angry Hans shouted

"Grr-not this psycho again." Batman sighed

"Yes this psycho again! Run Batman! Run as fast as your wings can carry you, but I know my missiles will carry me plenty far-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" suddenly it looked as though EVERY single militant firearm on that base was pointed directly at Batman.

"Oh-COME ON!"

"Aufveidersan-BATMAN!"

All the missiles launched themselves as Batman sprinted forward dodging the machine gun nests until he was able to reach the top of the hill.

"AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Angry Hans laughed evilly.

"Crap-[boom]-aw jeez-[blang]-Aw!" Batman made it below a pill box near the top of the hill. The machine guns kept firing. He quickly tossed a bat grenade inside the slit. Aaaaand... BOOOM!

"What!" Steinreich yelled still in his angry form! "Grr! You should be Swiss cheese by now!" he saw on the camera Batman had crawled inside.

"Well now, I guess I'll just have to up my defenses-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

While he was busy being crazy as hell, Robin nudged Sara. He managed to get a Batarang and untie himself, he did the same to his girl. The two shared a laugh and tiptoed away

"Grr-well, you'll soon succumb to my traps soon enough Batman, after all, I still have your side-KICKS-WHAT!" he changed back to realize they had vanished. "How did they-oh no!" He fumed. Hans darted into the corridor in search of them.

Batman found himself in an ammo cache, there wasn't a square inch that wasn't covered by ammo, guns, black powder, shells, and what have you, anything WWII that went boom, was in there.

"Charming." Batman sighed.

"Batman!"

"Robin!" He saw his young ward from across the room.

"Where's Sara?"

"We got separated at an intersection, but I think-"

"I think I can explain where she is."

"Grr-let me go-grrr-let-me-GO!" she struggled in Hans' grip. He stood on a balcony over looking the entire room.

"Young detectives, notice anything strange of anything about this room, hmm?"

"Uh..." they looked around, then Robin spotted what he thought was something of value.

"You mean that giant fighting Robot underneath all those warheads?" he asked

"Well done, perhaps I have underestimated you Boy Wonder." with his free hand, he pressed a button on a remote and the robot activated.

"Oh boy." Robin cringed

"It's a formidable Robot I can assure you that, I doubt even you both can fight good enough or fast enough, to avoid a trip to the next world." Steinreich chuckled

"Let's find out!" Batman got some Batarangs ready. "Robin, get to the ceiling, I'll draw it's fire!"

"Sounds easy enough!" he launched a Bat hook to the ceiling, and did a little ceiling crawl.

"Hey you there!" Batman called

"This way, come on, follow me..." The robot slowly followed the backing up Batman. The robot was coming right below Robin.

"There's that power source." he said getting another Batarang ready.

"That's it...just a little closer...and...NOW ROBIN!"

"Gotcha!" he launched the device knocking out the power source to the robot, and it went haywire fast

BOOOOOOOOM

"What! No! Grr! I won't stand for this!" he pressed another button

_Self destruct sequence initiated. _

"See ya later losers! I'll be back Batman you'll see!" he then threw Ex off the balcony and darted away.

"Whoa-[THUD]"

"Sara! You okay?"

"It's okay, this box of TNT broke my fall." she groaned

"Come on!" Batman ordered

The three found the nearest exit and darted for the edge of the hill, just to see Steinreich fly away in his helicopter heading west.

"Wait-wait...you expect us to-"

"JUMP!"

-CRAZY CARTOON SLOW MOTION SCENE-

Just as they jumped the base erupted in a fiery explosion nearly engulfing them along with it, the team fell into the water, near the Boat, just avoiding the sharp jagged rocks at the bottom. SPLASH

"Well, all that, and we have nothing to show for it." Ex sighed climbing into the boat

"I wouldn't say that...after all, with no one to supply them, Riddler and Hatter will slowly lose it."

Back closer to home the Batmobile was being pursued down town by a squad of police officers. Mayor Hill had retired back to his office, joined by hos two indirect cothwarts.

"_Mayor Hill this is Bullock."_

"Come in Detective, over."

"_We are in pursuit of the Batmobile, over."_

"Good, just make sure you get whosoever is inside of it, understand?"

"_Yeah I got it."_

"Good, where's it headed anyway?" Hill asked

"_Uh...city hall?"_

"What?"

"What?"

"WHAT!" Hatter even spilled his tea

The Batmobile did stop right in front of the building.

"Okay, time to make things right...here goes nothing." Batgirl activated the spring launcher and the mobile went airborne. And flew right for the office window of Mayor Hill.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH-[CRASH]" the Batmobile crashed roght through the window, and Batgirl jumped right out of it.

"Well-well-well, you've gone and done it now Bratgirl!"

"Mayor Hill, snap out of it, those guys totally have you under some kind of spell, or mind control or something!"

"Ha! Yeah right! I know these guys have to be talking legit...at least, that's what they told me to believe!"

"Ha, score one for us!" Riddler said proudly

"NO! Mayor I know you're good-I-"

"Enough of this, boys, dispose of her please."

"Yes sir mayor Hill."

"He is the boss." they approached Batgirl.

"No...no...I won't let you!' she lunged and did a crazy kick thing which knocked them both into the nearest wall,

"oof!"

Aiee!" they groaned.

"No! I need you all gone! I can't have you messing with my new friends!" Hill approached her.

"Sorry mayor, but it looks like I gotta-HEY!" Hatter launched some razor sharp 10/6 cards, at her, pinning Batgirl against the wall. Hill smirked and approached her.

"Good, I wanna finish her myself...looks like I'll collect my own bounty after all."

"But, you'll give it yo us, right?" Riddler asked

"Oh of course."

"YES!"

Alright then, continue."

"With pleasure."

"MAYOR NO! You can;t do this to me! Think! You can beat this! I know you can! Your stronger than any mind control out there, you can fight it, you have to...FOR ME!"

"N-n-no...I-I-I-"

"Don't listen to her mayor!" Riddler yelled

"I...I...GAHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed, and hacked up the microchip. Batgirl saw him he looked human again.

"I feel...I feel...normal now." Batgirl smiled. Hill immediately got over his radio. "Bullock, call your men off-that's an order."

"But-"

"I SAID THAT'S AN ORDER DETECTIVE!" . .. "Now Batgirl, let's get you out of those, come now, take some rest; you've had a busy day...while I take care of these two!"

"Oh God..." they both cringed. Batgirl left the office just in time to hear the marathon of pain.

"YOU IMBECILES YOU TRASHED MY CAR! YOU NEARLY RUINED ME!"

"Ow!"

"Oh dear God please not in the f-"

. . .Later that evening Hill held another impromptu press event.

"And now I rescind this bounty immediately, the Bat Team is always welcome here in Gotham, as long as I'm mayor, Gotham WILL be safe!"

"Ha, that's my dad." Jordan said as he watched the conference on TV.

It was now the next morning, and Batgirl was watching the sunrise...When someone swung up next to her.

"Good morning Ms. Gordon."

"Mr. Mayor."

"I uh...just wanted to say, thanks, I couldn't have done that without you." V-Bat smiled

"Don't mention it."

"You know, you have the makings of a good leader...you be sure to tell Trent that."

"I will."

"Good, and uh...whether you want it or not I do owe you one, so mark my words I will repay-you?" he looked up to see she had vanished. "Ha-ha, just like me." he shook his head.

**The End**

**End of Season 7**

**Okay party peoples! Time for the long awaited SEASON 8! All your user submitted ideas! You'll love em! We got an original by my bro PhenomsServent up next, so REVIEW and get ready, it's gon' be SWEET!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Rhinehart/The Exterminator

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Nighthacker

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill/V-Bat

**John Glover: **Dr. Hans Steinreich

**Carter Hayden: **Noah Nygma/Riddler

**Brian Froud: **Harold Tetch/Mad Hatter

**Rob Paulsen: **Co-Commissioner Gil Mason

**Diedrich Bader: **Gang leader, various

**Phil LaMarr: **gang member

**Jason Marsden: **additional voices

**Tress MacNeille: **Jordan Hill, additional voices


	158. Author's Note VI

Preliminary Episode Guide for Season 10

**SEASON 10**

***A New Man-Bat In Town (counterpart to On Leather Wings) Man-Bat (one-shot)- **It's a dark and stormy night at Wayne Manor, and Trent is reminiscing about his first real caper since he became the Batman...Years ago, a flying bat like man terrorized Gotham city pharmaceuticals by night, and Batman is mistakenly blamed, especially when the caper throws a security guard out a window seriously injuring him. Now an outlaw by Detective Bullock, Batman and Trent Wayne will have to prove his good name by finding out who exactly is causing all this trouble throughout the city just to get a med fix? Plus he will also have to allude the SWAT teams as well. Will the world's greatest detective be able to pull it off? Well, he obviously did, but you'll see!

**The Claws of Revenge; Catwoman- **The Commissioner is away, so Gil Mason will play. He hears a disturbance that Catwoman is up to her old tricks, delighted, Courtney Montoya is sent in to investigate as she has an unsettled score with Gwen Kyle. We learn it was Gwen and her animal rights activist group responsible for the closing of Renew-You Cosmetics, the place Courtney worked at before Gotham SCU. She calls in a false lead to Batman to send him elsewhere so Courtney can get hr revenge totally uninterrupted. Catwoman will have to rely on her wits, and then some to get herself out of this mess, especially when Courtney, now has little to lose.

**Birds of Prey; Penguin, The Greed Goblin- **Penguin hires the help of Ferris Boyle, who has changed his name in the pursuit of not getting sued by Marvel Comics. The task is to steal a rare priceless bird-related artifact on loan from Europe to the Gotham Museum of Natural History. After a long night of running away from the bats and cops, the artifact is nearly broken as the duo go everywhere across the city to make sure it gets back safely to Penguins place, whilst Batman and friends try and stop him. The duo even go as far as trying to hide it back in the same place they had stolen it from. But in the end, it is a certain, sly and indecisive Butler who will have the last word in, but what does that mean? You'll just have to read to find out.

**The TDB 100th Episode Special!- **In honor of our 100th episode, yours truly is celebrating like most low rate, low budget animation creators do...with a half assed summary of how it even made it this far. Join me, with Executive Producer and director Bruce Walter Timm, Executive Producer and Director Eric Radomski, Executive Producer, Story Editor and Director Alan Burnett, Executive Producer and Chief Story Editor Paul Dini, along with Glen Murakami Supervisory Producer and the head of our art department, and the best casting and voice director in the business, Andrea Romano. Enjoy this parody of us talking about stuff about this great series, you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll at one point say-ohhhhhhhhh, that's what that meant. But most of all, have fun!

**LOVE ME BABY! Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy- **Creeper gets word on the streets...and through Facebook, that Lindsey Quinzel is now single. So beings that he is still has the hots for her, he quickly goes all Sierra on her. Harley is still very stern that SHE DOES NOT LOVE HIM! Undaunted Creeper finds Harley and Iv pilfering a jewelry store. Creeper and Batman must find the duo and stop them from concocting another deadly Ivy plot. All with the crazy comedy styling's of Creeper. At the end, in order to avoid being smothered to death, Harley sternly tells Creeper she is in love with Ivy, the only person that ever gave her a chance...aw. Creeper sadly runs away, knowing it is the love that can ever be...if only Sierra would get that?

**Nacht Der Riese, Ra's Al Ghul, Heather Al Ghul- **Trent Wayne finds himself on business just outside of Arnhem Holland. For fun, he embarks on an archeological dig just outside the city with British Archeologists Grant (Jess Harnell) and Maryanne Thatcher (Diane Pershing). The dig is near a large, decrepit and most likely haunted cemetery. Ra's, who is in the same vicinity for unrelated reasons, decides to change his plans knowing the detective is in town. So using the curse of the cemetery he calls forth the dead spirits to rise and attack Trent. It's up to Batman, and the Thatchers to eliminate the undead spirits, and somehow save themselves from a night of terror. [spoof of the Treyarch COD: Zombies franchise]

**Chill Zone, Joe Chill (intro)- **Batgirl, Robin, The Exterminator are all trying to chase the notorious crook Joe Chill (Charlie Adler). Who is directly/indirectly responsible for the birth of Robin, Geoff-Robin, and Batgirl. All three explain while chasing the maniac the nights they first dawned the masks, the capes, the cowls, all the while trying to stop Chill steal some sortof rare and valuable blah-blah-blah. They are shocked to learn that Chill is the same guy who murdered Thomas and Martha Wayne years ago. They are close in capturing the near elderly yet crazy maniac only to be stumped and he gets away. Trent admires their will to fight alongside each other, even though they couldn't find Chill.

**No Easy Way Out, Mrs. Freeze, Bane- **Batman and V-Bat are quick to discover a decrease in temperatures below the surface, all deep in the confusing winding maze of subway tunnels, sewers and catacombs that litter Gotham city below. Further investigation reveals that they are being set up by Mrs. Freeze. Who is simply pissed at the two of them...cause...well she can be. She promises the two of them she will freeze them both. But not before unmasking them. Just as she does, the lights fade. The two are quick to escape, Freeze, who also hired Bane, go in search for them. The bats are saved from three motorcycle riding beings who look like giant mice. Modo (Dorian Harewood) Vinnie (Ian Ziering) and Throttle (Rob Paulsen). Having no time to think about the fact their lives hang in the balance of mice, they work together to escape the tunnels, and capture Bane and Freeze. Trent awakens, knowing it was only just a dream. He goes to eat breakfast and sees Cody and Jason watching a familiar cartoon [Crossover with Biker Mice from Mars]

**Protect the President! Nurse Pain, Scarecrow, Mad Hatter, Red Claw- **A tired Mayor Hill walks to his desk, in a slump as he spent half the night dreaming about frozen caverns and martian mice. A note passes his desk, from Washington, turns out the president will be coming to town to address the people of Gotham! Panicked, Hill hastily organizes a rally for the presidents arrival. This quickly attracts the attention of some of Gotham's craziest. Nurse Pain, wants to kidnap him to force to reinstate her nursing license. Scarecrow wants to make him see his greatest fear, Mad Hatter wants to control him to run the country his way, and Red Claw simply wants to off him to take over the country. It's up to the bat team to stop this threat at all costs, though everyone is disappointed to discover the president is simply the president...Of Internal Affairs (Ed Asner) checking up on the fine police work of the city...oops.

**One Last Thing, Red Claw- **Fed up of the cut and dry routine she seems to be in Red Claw wants one final act of vengeance of the people of Gotham. She uses her intellect and connections to bring forth the finest two assassins in the world, Dmitri Geshenov (Jim Cummings), and Ethel Kinchmeyer (Adrienne Barbeau). The two snipers wreak havoc across the Gotham area, Batman and Robin employ the help of aging down-on-his-luck SWAT sniper captain Eli Moncourtois (Mark Hamill) to help deal with the threat. Everything seems to go great only for the bat team to realize it's nothing more than a distraction for Red Claw to unveil her most diabolical plan ever! What is that plan you might be asking, well not even I know the answer to that one as of yet!

* * *

**THE 3 PART SERIES FINALE**

***The Mask of Phantasm (Part I) Phantasm, Hugo Strange, Lock-Up, Joe Chill, Ra's Al Ghul, Andrea Beaumont- **Trent Wayne gets a call on his cellular phone, it's his former flame and ex-fiance, Andrea Beaumont (Dana Delaney). Shes on her way back to Gotham. Upon her arrival, all things seem great, and the two rekindle their relationship. Meanwhile, Ra's calls a meeting of Lock-Up, Hugo Strange and Joe Chill, to discuss plans for a global conquest he's certain they can help him achieve. Their initial plans are dashed by a new criminal vigilante Phantam (Clancy Brown) who swears revenge on all costumed criminals, especially the one they call the Joker. The villains in Gotham are running scared, no one knows who the victim will be next? And everyone seems to grow suspicious of Andrea...her long hours, and inconclusive alibis. But Trent who is in love doesn't seem to care.

***The Mask of Phantasm (Part II) Phantasm, Duncan Napier, Joker, Sal Valestra, Andrea Beaumont, Joe Chill- **Andrea has news that she is now a city councilman for Gotham city. Smitten Trent can't see right passed her scheme like he can for most. He tells his odd and extended family the story of how they first met, and her father's troubles with the mob, which got so bad they had to flee the country right after Trent proposed...this prompted Trent to dawn the Batman persona, as the happiness in his life slowly slipped away. He is unaware of the story that Duncan Napier is the one responsible for the murder of Carl Beaumont (Stacey Keach). The kids are very unsure of Beaumont's true intentions, but they catch her in the act...she then catches THEIR secret identities as well. The episode ends with Joe Chill, and the well aged Sal Valestra offering Joker money to whack Phantasm.

***The Mask of Phantasm (Part III)** **Phantasm, Andrea Beaumont, Joker, Sal Valestra, Joe Chill, Ra's Al Ghul, Hugo Strange, Lock-Up- **Ra's is convinced the only way to begin their plan for global conquest is to start abroad, he devices a plan for them to travel the world, and use Ra's loftly connections to in fact help them conquer it. They feel it's right with Phantasm on the lose. Andrea by the way is officially anti-costume, hero or otherwise. She tries to get the bat team outlawed but Mayor Hill simply will not allow it. Phantasm is convinced the only way to keep them from talking, is to kill them. Batman is a little too late, Ra's and company took off, their first target, England. Closer to home, with one problem gone, Phantasm goes to the one person she has a personal Vendetta with, Joker. Who had recently exposed her, and killed his former boss. Trent learns from his terrified sidekicks, that Beaumont is in fact, Phantasm, after she learns he is the Batman. Angry, Trent travels to Joker's lair, where Beaumont is already waiting for him. He is with Chill, who wasn't able to make it on the flight. She bursts in, and Batman is quick to witness her kill Chill. Joker tries his best to escape, and eventually does. Beaumont says a monologue, then disappears herself. Trent realizes he needs to go and stop Ra's, and he takes Robin, and Sara with him along with Heather and Gwen (who stowed away) Leaving Bridgette, Geoff, Ham Hill, Jason Drake, and the Creeper to defend Gotham city. The final picture is the plane taking off, and everyone shedding a tear.

**Reviews por favor, and for those wanting to know about the movie, they will be written as I think of them, till next time!**


	159. Love and War, Part I

**Villain(s): Catwoman, Heather Al Ghul, Tuck, Lock-Up Featuring: several others **

**Episode Archive: YAR!**

**Story By: PhenomsServant **

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri**

**Teleplay By: Michael Reaves&Steve Perry**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 77: ...Love and War**

"He's mine!"

"No he's mine!"

"No you little bitch you know he's mine!"

"Uh, sorry Heather, but he's mine!"

"He loved me first!"

Ha! Liar! I know for a FACT he knew me long before he knew you!"

"Yeah-well, we were gonna get married!"

"Yeah-WERE!"

"Well Gwenny that's far more than what I can about you and Bats!"

"HA! So he made out with you, it's a dime a dozen! Alright, I'll settle this, listen up! Those of you who was besmooched by Batman please raise your hand!" . . . "Ooh let's see, Ivy, Harley, Harleen-IT'S A LOT!"

"Yeah...b-b-b—but, he has feelings for me, admit it!"

"He has feelings for me too weird demon girl!"

"Ah-harsh! You really do have claws!"

Me-ow." Gwen purred.

"Hey ladies."

"Yeah?"

"What is it Justin?" Heather asked

"Yeah, can't you see were having an argument here!"

"Well see that's what I wanted to discuss, would you both mind-SHUTTING UP!" he fumed "Were all sick and tired of listening to the same bickering over and over again!"

"Yeah!" everyone in the rec room chanted

"If you really wanna fight...would you mind" he walked over to the nearest window, and tore the bars off of it "Grr-AH! TAKING IT OUTSIDE!"

"Wow, he's mad." Gwen said in amazement

"Yeah he tore all the bars right off."

"Oh this one? Yeah we do it all the time, it's totally busted." Justin explained

"WHAT!"

"Yeah we escape through it all the time...how do you think we do it so often?" Al asked

"Sometimes I even go when I'm having a Mac attack, and I'll just come right back." Owen explained

"But-but-but-but-I USE THE DAMN SEWERS!" Gwen complained

"Yeah and you don't even wanna know what I do-you mean to tell me this has been here the whole time?" Heather asked angrily

"Yeah."

"As long as I've been here."

"Pretty much."

"They really should fix that."

"Ha! Losers, even I knew about it." Dora smirked

"Shut-up Dora!" Heather fumed, she and Gwen approached the window

"Yeah, no one even likes you!" Gwen added. The frozen girl stuck her tongue out at them.

"Cheer up girls, look at it this way...Harleen had no idea!" Dora laughed

"Well if she did, the episode would be far too short." Owen reminded her.

The girls jumped off of the window and onto the grass below, fortunately that building was against the edge of he land or Arkham so their escape wouldn't conflict with the wall. They slid down the hill, and across the small stream to catch their breath.

"Whew, I think we lost any search party." Gwen panted

"Right, so...this fighting of ours Gwen...this arguing, it's too much."

"Agreed, we have to find some clear cut way to determine who should Batman love."

"Right...I have an idea." she smirked evilly

"What, anything?" Gwen asked

"How bout...a fight to the death?" she shrugged. Gwen's eyes lit up.

"Deal. I like it, what better way to fight each other off and have Batman pick only one...then for one to no longer exist...you really are the daughter of the demon's head."

"Yeah, but we can't dual to the death in these clothes, we should go get our costumes." Heather suggested.

"Right, come one let's find a taxi or bus or something."

"Got it." she then slapped Gwen right on her rear SLAP

"Hey!"

"Move it kitty-kitty, I'm not getting any younger, and your not getting any less dead!" Heather walked towards the rural-ish road.

While on the nearby hill stood Tuck and Lock-Up, watching and listening to the girl's entire conversation.

"Well, a fight to the death eh?" Tuck smiled scratching his chin "I must say I didn't think either one of them had it in them."

"I did...and since they wanna kill each other so much, let's make it interesting, hmm?" Lock-Up asked in his trademark raspy voice.

"Hmm, I'm intrigued Lyle, what did you have in mind?" the Mercenary asked. Lock-Up whispered the plan into his ear.

"Ha-ha, I love it, come; we must follow them." they silently stayed a considerable-yet manageable distance from the two.

"Grr." Gwen sneered walking right up next to her. "Ow, you really slapped it hard."

"Oh stop complaining, look here comes a cab -[TWEET]-TAXI!" it stopped in front of them. The driver opened the passengers side door.

"Well-well, what do we have here?" he asked seductively. "It's alright if your short on cash ladies, I'm sure we can...work something out."

"Can it greaseball!" Heather fumed

"Yeah we got better things to do!" the two hijacked the cab and threw the driver out

"HEY!" they swerved away "Oh come on!"

The two drove in towards Central Island, to the Confiscated Weapons Warehouse in Cherry Hill. Gwen drove, their conversation was virtually nonexistent, until Heather broke the silence first...she was in fact having second thoughts over their dual.

"Y-ya know, we should scrap this-I mean I am clearly the odds on favor to win, and you have so much to live for Gwenny-besides, I was the one who knew his identity long before you."

"Ha! That's because your daddy told you! He trusts me with it! And besides, you and I BOTH know, the ONLY reason you show ANY emotion towards Trent is so you two can get married, so he can succeed Trent, and you can control his father's army through him." that did it, Heather was now angry and sad all at the same time.

"NOOO! You're...you're wrong you heartless feline! I love him! Love him more than you ever could! YOU know that all YOU love are your...stupid-stupid animals, and stealing things! ADMIT IT GWENDOLYN KYLE!"

"Alright-alright simmer down, sorry I didn't mean it, I'm sorry."

"You better be." Heather crossed her arms, she was calm now.

"Will ya stop the waterworks, were here." she stopped the cab in front of the large warehouse. "Now, let's just get our stuff, and then find some suitable closed location...then kill each other."

"Sigh, okay."

The girls sneaked in quietly, dressed up, got all their little gizmos, doodads, and thing-a-ma-jigs, and headed back out into the night.

"Alright, Heather, you choose our venue." Catwoman said.

"Um...oh are you sure you still wanna do this?" Heather asked

"Uh...y-y-yeah, p-p-p-positive." she said almost as unsure as juror #8 from 12 Angry Men. "Come on, uh...we'll uh...go to the...old Theater in Park Row."

"Ugh, fine."

BUT, they were soon caught off guard by smoke filling their surroundings, a blueish smoke, the two began coughing.

"what the-[cough-cough-cough]" Heather coughed

"What is-[cough-cough]-this-unh." surprise! It knocked them out cold. They were approached by Tuck and Lock-Up.

"Excellent, well done Bolton, looks like I owe you 5 dollars."

"I told you Tuck, my pattented knockout gas never fails, come on, let's take thee two warring wenches back to the hideout."

"Sounds good, then we'll have some real fune-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm." Tuck laughed.

"Yeah, and they have half a brain, they will do what we say-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haha-aha-ha-ha-ha-HA-hA-HA!" they disappeared. Where meanwhile, Batman was atop a building wathing the situation unfold, from his height, there wasn't much he could do.

"Oh boy."

...commercial...

"Huh...wha...unh...where-unh." Catwoman awoke, and tried to get a hold of her surroundings, Heather was across the room from her, and did the same.

"Ugh...where...where am I?" she asked like a hungover college freshman. The two girl's eyes met. "Gwen?"

"Heather?"

"Lock-up!"

"And Tuck! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" came the two villains from over a megaphone from elsewhere

"Grr! Those two!" Heather complained

"I would have known! Alright you pricks! Where are you! Come out and fight like...men?" she reached for her belt and realized something was missing "My whip, where's my whip?"

"And where's my gun...and all my other cool gadgets people don't even realize I have even though it's episode 77!" Heather complained.

"Looking for these?" Tuck asked the girls looked around confused

"Hey! HEY!"

"Were up here...no-no-no, a little to your left...now up a little...perfect!" the girls looked up and saw Tuck and Lock-Up standing on a balcony which overlooked the whole room.

"Where are we?"

"Yeah, explain yourselves!"

"In due time, my bodatiously gorgeous partners in crime." Tuck chuckled

"HEY! We want answers, and we want em n-"

"HE SAID IN DUE TIME!" Lock-Up fumed, the whole place went quiet

"Uh, yes; thank you Bolton."

"Don't mention it pal."

"Look, listen, notice the sound of water, hmm?"

"Huh...come to think of it, I do." Catwoman noticed

"You mean to tell me were under water?" Heather said confused

"You bet Ghul, you are both 334 feet under the Atlantic Ocean." Lock-Up explained

"At a canceled underwater government research facility, we might be perhaps parallel with Seaside Heights New Jersey, 72 miles off the coast." Tuck explained

"And 334 feet d-"

"They already know that Lock-Up."

"Oh sorry."

"Okay, well...why are WE here exactly?" Catwoman asked

"Yeah, don;t you two have some...uh...really gay stuff to do?" Heather spurted

"You wanted to say something else, didn't y-"

"Shut it Gwendolyn." she grit her teeth

"Quiet." Lock-Up ordered

"We overheard your little love dilemma with our common enemy the Batman." Tuck began

"So...you two are going to have your OWN dual to the death." Lock-Up added

"Except the winner will not be canoodling with the bat, the winner in this dual-"

"Will have the honor of being Tuck and my personal slave."

"Yes, thank you Bolton for interrupting me."

"Oh sorry-"

"Hey wait a sec there!" Heather shouted

"Yeah don't WE get a say in this?"

"NO!" they yelled

"Figures..."

"Think of it this way...death now-"

"Or death later."

"Were not being your damn slaves!"

"One of you will be, and were not giving you much of a choice, your arms ladies." Tuck threw them two dualing sabers.

"Let the fight...BEGIN!"

The girls looked at each other, they needed a plan, and fast.

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW! **

**GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!  
**


	160. Love and War, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Both DC villainesses stared at each other for a good five minutes. With no movement or anything...this would be much better to watch if it was lingerie fighting...even if they are just standing there.

"Well, what are you waiting for Christmas? Get on with it!" Tuck ordered.

"Yeah, make with the slashing will ya? I'm missing my soaps for this!" Lock-Up demanded

"And I need one of you to give me a sponge bath post haste!" Tuck shouted.

"Ew!"

"A sponge bath...really?"

"What are you like...90?" Catwoman asked

"Hey future slave, did I ask for a sponge bath or did I ask for you to flap the lips! Now make with the dual already!" Tuck blared

Batman, being the bad ass that he was, was already aboard the sub-marine style lair. He was in the vent ducts above where his flames would duke it out, mono y womano.

"Ha, that's showing him." Lock-Up added

"Oh your one to talk!"

"Yeah you watch soap operas!"

"Hey! I'll have you know All My Children is a fantastic television program. If you two cretins had half a brain you'd know that!"

"Yeah, I know you're an absolute complete dork!" Heather blared

"Why I outta-"

"Enough of this useless prattle! You two better dual or else!" Tuck ordered

"Or else what?" Catwoman asked

"Oh believe me, you don't want to know what-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm." Lock-Up smirked

The Dark Knight shook his head. He crawled through the vents, and plopped into the main power supply room. Which was littered with pipes, engines and what have you to keep the lair, under the correct pressure and not implode on them suddenly.

"Sigh, you should have seen this coming Trent." he said to himself "Two criminal girls fighting over you. Why in the grand scheme of things did I not anticipate this from happening? Oh that's right, I had just gotten off the loss of a potential marriage and happiness, so of course love was the absolute last thing I was thinking." he sighed

"Oh well, gotta think about now, and right now; I gotta save my two crazy lovers." Batman sighed and picked up a piece of discarded pipe. He whacked a pipe off, which spewed steam and vapor as it released some pressure.

"Oops." he knocked over several other pipes, and a small circuit breaker. Everything fizzed and the whole room filled with vapor, giving it that eerie, horror movie appeal.

This prompted for an alarm to sound, catching everyone else's attention.

"What in the?"

"It sounds like it's coming from the boiler room." Tuck thought "Go check it out!"

"I'm on it!" Lock-Up ran out of there, while Tuck still watched his captives.

"Well?" Heather asked

"Well what, it's a deep subject you know?"

"Aren't you going to go with him?" Catwoman added

"Are you kidding? If there's one thing I've learned over the years it's that you costumed types tend to be very resourceful, so I am going ti watch you both like hawks, whether you like it or not." Tuck assured them.

"Yeah, more like not." Catwoman crossed her arms.

"I second that."

Grr-DAMMIT! What is wrong with you two, why can't you both just go and kill each other already!"

"You really are a sick ticket Vanzetti." Heather narrowed her eyes.

"Well at least I'll admit it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Catwoman asked

"Oh come on you still think Bolton and I picked you both up entirely at random?" the girls shrugged "I told you we overheard you glorified costumed wenches planning to off the other so you can get to the Batman! We heard you even before you got into that taxicab...now ask yourselves...whose more sick?"

"...S-still you!"

"Sorry, a little stutter I your voice Ghul? Hmm? A bit unsure are we?"

"Shut it Tuck!" Catwoman blared!"

"Never...face it, I know I'm a psychopath-but at least I'll admit to it...killing yourselves over a guy? Your both sick...that's why Bolton and I devised this...all is fair...in love...and war-wouldn't you agree?"

Silence filled the room, filtering out the blares of the alarm.

"I thought as much."

Meanwhile Lock-Up was in search for whatever was making noise and causing the alarm to go all key-blooey, he entered the boiler room to see it was filled with vapor and water leakage.

"Alright what's the big ide-holy jumping Jehoshaphat!" Lock-Up blared. "Well-well-well, the case of the faulty CHEAP ASS UNDER-WATER LAIR!" Lock-Up blared hoping Tuck would hear him.

"What's wrong Bolton...?"

"Huh? Whose there? Show yourself!" he ordered. Bolton was now in the middle of the thicket of the vapor smog.

"What's the matter Bolton...how does the King of Security let this one slip right through, huh?"

"That voice...[sniff-sniff]...that smell, I smell a BAT!"

"Not bad Lock-Up...Took you long enough though."

"Where are you Batman-show yourself! NOW!"

"Okay Bolton-[chink]"

"Aw!"

"As you wish." he tossed a Batarang.

"GRR-Where are ya? Come out and fight!"

"Sorry, this more like it!" Batman emerged from the smog and came at Bolton like DIS SHIT DON'T PHASE HIM!

Over to our lovely captives, Tuck was drumming his fingers on the rail and constantly looking at his watch.

"...What is that masked buffoon doing reinventing the wheel? And then smashing it to pieces, and then rebuilding it again from scratch?" Tuck asked with a little venom

"Was that supposed to be funny?"

"Who writes your lines?"

"I don't know, and more importantly I don't care, what I do care about is my sponge bath which-"

"TUCKER...TUCK—ER!" he heard Lock-Up's voice trail.

"What?"

"THE BATMAN! HE'S HERE TUCKER!"

"Yay!"

"Yes! Beloved! I'm down here!" Down here!"

"He can't hear you! And he's not going to...not so long as I have anything to say about it." Tuck sneered before disappearing into the corridor in search of Lock-Up.

"I can't believe it." Catwoman grinned

"I knew he'd come save us!"

"Yeah...just like a sappy Disney movie..." Ah...You guys know by now what I think of Disney...

"Well, we should help him." Heather suggested

"But, without our gadgets, were toast!"

"No were not." Heather approached a seemingly locked door on the other side of the room.

"What in the...?"

"And those two morons thought we were just going to kill each other...HA!" she kicked it open. "Look Gwen, I...I wasn't thinking in the woods back there...I had second thoughts from right after I thought of it."

"So did I. I couldn't kill you-or anyone...you feel the same right?"

"Uh...yeah sure, never killed anyone, yup that's me alright-ha-ha-ha-ha-look, a weapons cache, what luck." Heather chuckled sheepishly and turned on the light.

It truly was a weapons cache. Tons of guns, not made by Sons of Guns, how unfortunate. The two girls did some shopping.

"Oh wow, real Israeli...Galhils...stolen, Israeli Galhils." Heather sighed "Ah, I remember when Daddy bought me my first Gahil...i was 92, what a birthday."

"Hey old spice, you wanna take a walk down memory lane, or do you wanna snipe those two bastards from kidnapping us and keeping us away from our Batman?" Catwoman asked loading up

"I'm coming-I'm coming, jeesh!"

"And remember, once this all over we go back to fighting each other and let Trent decide, okay?"

"Sounds good to me

Batman was kicking Lock-Up down and out, up and down, sideways and...uh...the other sideways.

"Gak-Ah-oof-Aiee!" Loxk-Up grunted after four consecutive blows to the face, stomach, and...yeah.

"Well, can't say that was too easy, but-[Thonk]-unh." a hit to the back of his head caused Batman to hit the deck.

"Ugh...thanks Tu-[thwack]-ow!" Tuck then gave him a slap

"You're pathetic. Make yourself useful and take him to the "room." got it?"

"Ugh, yeah-yeah." Lock-Up sighed

The girls were walking about the facility, placing explosives in key areas to make sure the lair would implode on itself. And with the pressure leaking away, that time seemed to just dwindle away.

"Alright, that should do i-"

"_Attention ladies." Tuck came over the nearby televisions atop the walls._

"It's Tuck!"

"_And Lock-Up."_

"_Right...as you can see we have your beloved Batman, and if you wanna see him alive you had better surrender yourselves...5th floor, infirmary."_

"_And unless you want this thing to implode I suggest you be quick about it!" the transmission ended_

"Come on!" Catwoman called

"What! But you know it's a trap."

"Well duh...but not to worry Ghul girl...I gotta plan in mind-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm."

Batman was strapped upright on a medical table. The two morons waited for the girls to surrender themselves...or would they...

"I see Ghul coming, shes got her hands up."

"But Kyle isn't...that worries me Bolton."

"Alright I get it, I'm here..." Heather entered. "Now hand him over." Batman raised an eyebrow

"Where's Catwoman?" Lock-Up asked

"Oh, you got your wish Vanzetti, I killed her, I'll be your slave but just let me have Batman...please."

Tuck only smirked

"Charming, to the last...well, a deal's a deal-[THWACK]"

"TUCK!" Catwoman jumped through the vents and knocked Tuck clean out. She quickly grabbed her whip from the table

"You little!" Lock-Up chased after her. Catwoman lassoed Lock-Up towards her, and then gave him a headbutt, knocking him to the floor. Heather got Batman off the table.

"Impressive, see you both work well together when you share a common goal."

"Yeah well, we are pretty good." Catwoman smirked Tuck leaned up, and grabbed a detonator

"You think you're all clever huh? Well your not...I'll have the last laugh on this one, if you wanna live I suggest you hurry-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" he pressed the button, and they heard a series of explosions!

"Aw crap!"

"The hanger, my boats parked their come on!" they ran through the hallways to the awaiting Bat Boat, Batman quickly locked them in. "HANG ON!" they thrusted back into the under waters, just as the lair imploded, unfortunately, they noticed two mini subs leave as well.

Back on the surface they were drawing nearer and nearer to Long Island, and Gotham.

"So..." Heather coerced

"So...what?"

"Give it up Trent, you know you love us-"

"But we have to know, who do you love the most...hmm?"

"Sigh, you know why I love you...but you know why I can't have either of you...But..." their heads peaked up "I'll give you both a chance."

"YESSS!"

"So, does this mean you won't send us back to Arkham?" Catwoman asked

"Uh...no." he clicked a button, and the girl's seats ejected, the coordinates-Arkham Asylum.

"CURSE YOU BATMANNNNN!" They shouted.

"Ah, I love a happy ending."

**The End**

**ALRIGHT! We got the Christmas Special Up next just in time for Arbor Day! … And the middle of lent, so ReViEw, and such and get ready for more coming up next!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Gwen Kyle/Catwoman

**Rachel Wilson: **Heather Al Ghul

**Jeff Bennett: **Tucker Vanzetti, Taxi Driver

**Richard Moll: **Lyle Bolton/Lock-Up

**Adam Reid: **Justin Jones

**Jennifer Hale: **Dora Smithy

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Lindsey Quinzel

**Cle Bennett: **DJ Hughes

**Drew Nelson: **Duncan Napier

**Marco Grazzini: **Alejandro Dent

**Fred Tatasciore: **Additional Voices

**April Winchell: **Additional Voices


	161. The TDB Christmas Special, Part I

**Villain: Joker**

**Episode Counterpart: Christmas With the Joker (1992)**

**Written By: Eddie Gorodetsky **

**Directed By: Kent Butterworth**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 78: The Total Drama Batman Christmas Special!**

Were in another den, with a nice warm fireplace roaring, and in a nice comfortable easy chair, sits someone only I'm familiar with, wearing a robe, a fez, and reading Tuesdays With Morrie.

"Oh hi there, didn't see you come in, ha-ha. For those of you not familiar with me, I'm Mark Hamill, You may remember me as Luke Skywalker from Star Wars, and I am the voice of Ferris Boyle/The Gray Goblin, as well as the original voice of the Joker from our favorite 1990's smash hit, of wit; this is based from. I also voiced Ferris Boyle in the original show believe it or not. Confused you huh? Ha-ha-ha, they-they told me to ad lib, cause I had no script-and I personally can't ad lib for the life of me, but hey, a man's gotta work. Isn't that right Peyton...Superbowl commercial, well here we are again with yet another exciting episode of TDB, I will now narrate the tale of how the Joker almost stole Christmas, and how our courageous "9" obsessed, guitar playing young Bat will do to stop him. I hope you enjoy our fine program, and remember...uh...I dunno, use the force I guess-I'm sorry, I'm trying, you know what, let's just cue the title card..."

[Cue Title Card]

Our story begins on December 24th, Christmas Eve. At Arkham Asylum the prisoners are decorating the giant Christmas tree in the atrium. Joker was singing some Christmas carrells with a few other inmates.

"Oh jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh!"

"Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg, the Batmobile lost a wheel, and the Joker got away!" He sung. He grabbed the star intended to put on top of the tree. Joker climbed the ladder to the top. Attaching the star on top seemed to activate something underneath.

WOOOOSH! Rocket thrusters. The tree took off, with Joker riding it, they crashed into the ceiling, and the flying tree flew across the snowing sky.

"AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Crashing through the roof! In a one horse open tree! Busting out I go, laughing all the WEEEEEE-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

Over yonder at the Bat-Cave...still a lot larger than mine, Batman and Robin exited the newly installed elevator.

"Come on Batman it's Christmas Eve, you should be getting into the holiday spirit."

"The Joker's escaped from Arkham Asylum Robin, we gotta be more alert than ever if were gonna catch him."

"Come on Mr. Grumpy Gills, even scum spend the holidays with their family's."

"Not Joker, he has no family."

"Actually I beg to differ." Nighthacker began turning around in his chair.

"Huh?" Batman asked starting the Batmobile

"He's got a little sister actually, a one Marie Napier, unmarried, no criminal record-ooh, works as a drapes and lighting saleswoman in San Diego-"

"Hey Geoff?" Batman asked

"Yeah?"

"No one cares!"

"Humph, Bah Humbug to you too." he muttered turning back around.

"Look Trent, I'll make a deal with you, if we go all evening, and Gotham's totally quiet, we forget about the Joker, come home, eat dinner, and watch It's a Wonderful Life."

"You know, I never saw that...couldn't get passed the title."

"So we have a deal then?" Robin asked, offering his hand.

"Sure, why not." they shook hands, and drove off into the cold wilderness.

Gotham was abuzz with frantic last minute holiday shoppers, carrellers, Good Will solicitors, and the like...However! It was in fact, very quiet...How was that Andrea? Good? Good.

"See, look at this...a peaceful, snowy evening...Mr. Rice is serenading the public with some smooth jazz Christmas music down below, chestnuts are roasting over an open fire, and the halls are fully decked...is there ever a more peaceful night than Christmas eve Bat...Man?" Robin turned around to see his Boss swinging to another building. The Boy Wonder frowned, and shook his head. "Un-freaking-believable." he followed him. Batman was atop another roof.

"You know, are you just extra miserable on Christmas?" he asked

"No, you were boring me." Batman explained

"You just can't stand the fact the city doesn't have a use of us for just one ni-"

"Shh! Robin look!" Batman pointed to the street below. On the sidewalk he saw an older heavier woman with a few packages, and a younger skinnier guy running towards her.

"Ha, told ya!" Batman swung down.

"Oh come on Batman that's totally circumstantial-ah what's the use." Robin sighed

Batman swung down just behind them, only to dart into an ally to hide once this happened...

"Hey lady wait up! You dropped this package a couple a blocks back."

"Oh thank you, that's for my Grandson, merry Christmas." she gave him a kiss on the cheek. They parted ways. Robin gave him the sarcastic "I told you so" look.

"...Well, doesn't that convince you?"

Without a word he simply swung to the nearest building. Robin shook his head again.

"Humph, he could give lessons to Scrooge."

Later at Wayne Manor, Trent, Cody and Geoff were at the gigantic dining room table awaiting for their Christmas dinner.

"The Christmas goose will be ready shortly." Alfred told them.

"Thank you Alfred. You know Cody, we really should have done one more good sweep of the city."

"Oh come on Trent, lighten up, your gonna love It's A Wonderful Life." the three retired to the living room.

"It's not relentlessly cheerful is it?"

"Nope, just the story about one man in a city making a difference." Geoff explained "Sound familiar?"

"Just turn it on."

"Right." Cody switched on the TV. The channel that was on was a Christmas show, in the background a darkish figure stands by a fireplace. "Huh, wrong channel." he kept switching, it was the same thing on every channel. "Huh, must be some kind of Christmas special."

"No Wonderful Life, oh well too bad." Trent said sarcastically.

"_It's a Wonderful Life will not be showing this year, in it's place is the following." The figure came into the light. "Joker here! Merry Christmas! I hope you're watching Batman, this ones just for you-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haAha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" _

...commercial...

In Joker's sick little show we see a giant Santa Claus coming from a chiminey float terrorizing the city, only it's just a simulation...I think.

"_Live from Gotham City, it's the show nobody wants to see but everyone will watch!" the Santa ejected and rose to the sky exploding into a firework display with Joker's face. "Yes it's Christmas With the Joker!" it cutscenes back to Joker's stage. "And now let's give it up to our host with the most, the pierced pantomimer, the mohawked massacrerer, the Clown Prince of Crime, the Joker!" Joker jumped out of a sleigh pulled by a mechanical reindeer. _

"_Greetings everyone and welcome to the first annual Christmas with the Joker holiday special!" A canned applause rang out. Which is good considering all of Joker's audience were made of cardboard. "Have I got a show for you all tonight! It's full of surprises, mystery guests and holiday cheer. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"_

Batman, Robin, and Nighthacker watched from the Bat-Cave

"Well Batman you were sure right about the Joker."

"Aren't I always? Any leads Geoff?"

"I'm accessing Gotham's electrical mainframe, and I'm zeroing in on the power surges to pinpoint the location of Joker's broadcast signal." the screen blipped "That's it!"

"I dunno Trent, sounds too easy."

"It's never easy with the Joker Robin." the two climbed into the Batmobile, and listened to the broadcast via the Telescreen.

"_Oh Batman, I hope your watching, cause I have a very special surprise, for you...Rumor has it, Christmas is a time to spend with your family's. And since I don't have one of my own-"_

"_Awwwwwwwww."_

"_I decided to steal one."_

"_Yaaaaaaaaaaay!" _

"_And here they are, the awful Lawful Family, aren't they just precious aha-hA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Tied up in wrapping paper and bows and gagged with candy canes sat Chris Gordon, Gil Mason, Summer Gleeson, Courtney Montoya, and Chef Bullock. _

"It's never easy with the Joker." Batman reiterated.

"_Here we have Daddy Lawful." Joker took the cane from Chris's mouth. _

"_YOU DISEASED MANIAC I'LL RIP YER DICK OF-mgmnmnmh."_

"_Hmm, looks I'll have to teach Daddy some manners...and here we have Uncle Lawful."_

"_JOKER YOU LOUSY F*CKHEAD! I'LL TEAR YOU PIECES I'LL-mhmnmgmnm." _

"_Aw, got some fight in ya old bean...and here we have Mommy Lawful." He walked over to Summer _

"_HELP! SOMEBODY HELP US HE'S CRAZ-mhmnmgmnm." _

"_Ho-ho-ho isn't she jolly? And over here we have Sister Lawful-"_

"_JOKER WHEN MY LAWYERS GET A HOLD OF YOU YOU'LL-mnmgmnmhm." _

"_Yeesh, sassy little bugger isn't she. Clam down Princess...oh and here we have Baby Lawful, coochy-coochy-coo-_

"_WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU MAGGOT SO HELP ME-mgmnmgmmnm."_

"_Aren't they just the best family? But personally I think relatives are a bore, so Batman can have them, IF he can successfully find them by midnight-HA-HA-HA-HA! Otherwise-pfft!" _

"Hold tight Robin, were almost there."

"_Hi, I'm Laughy, Joker's Happy little elf! I'm here to present Batman with a very special Christmas surprise!" Joker had made an elfin sock puppet. _

"Oh boy." Robin groaned

"_Gee Joker, it was sure nice of you to get Bat breath a present!"_

"_Ha-ha, I'm just that kinda of guy."_

"_It's an exact replica of Gotham city!"_

"_Yup, it's got everything, even trains and Bridges!"_

"_Bridges! I just love blowing up bridges!" _

"_Well, good, care to do the honors Laughy?"_

"_Oh boy would I!" he pressed the button on a remote control detonator, which would blow up a bridge just outside of town. _

"_Well now, looks like the President's Bridge is quite gone, just in time for the 11:30 to come in from Bensonhurst." _

"_Mhmnmhmnmhmnmhm."_

"_Look Laughy, mommy Lawful has something to say."_

"_What's up mommy?" Joker took the cane from her mouth_

"_My mother's on that train!" _

"_Well then that's different!" Joker put the cane back in._

"_Yeah, it'll be funnier for when it crashes!" _

"GASP!" the heroes gasped

"That'll be there any minute!"

"Robin, I'll take the train! You go after Joker!"

"Right!" Batman ejected, and flew via transformable Bat pack towards the train. Robin took control and drove towards their coordinates.

"Geoff, where do the passenger cars end?" he asked

"_Uh...third car!"_

"Got it!" Batman flew towards the train, and quickly unlocked the passenger cars from the rest of the train, which would halt their progress. "Good. Now for the engineer!" Batman flew a few cars down to the locomotive, and looked through the right side window for said engineer. "Hey!"

"Gasp! Batman?"

"Yeah it's me, hurry, the bridge is out, jump!" he grabbed the engineer, and the two leaped into the snow, just in time to watch the train fall through the derailed bridge.

"_Gosh! I really do hate that Batman and Robin!"_

"_Me too Laughy! I'm sure we can find more and more surprises for them. Stay tuned kiddies! And now, a word from our trusted sponsors!"_

_. . ._

Hey, it's me...Alright, do you think Batman and Robin will stop Joker and save Christmas? Oh come on, this is like episode 78, get with the program! Oh check this out, just got this thing off of Amazon, ha, isn't it neat? It's one of them Ipad thingys...man when I was kid a computer was the size of a small closet, now you got em in your phones-[craksh]-are you kidding me...I hate hardwood floors-SO much...unbelievable...well there goes 545$...Oh well easy come easy go, let's go to some commercials, where most likely you will see an advertisement for one of these...F*CK this sucks!"

**To be Continued...PlEaSe ReViEw**

**Oh yeah the reason why I couldn't update yesterday was cause yours truly went to the movies with the bros...and we saw Project X! SEE IT...SEE IT! Awesome-awesome-funny-as-hell-movie, you will laugh your ass off I guarantee it, solid-solid movie. Alright guys, see ya tomorrow!**


	162. The TDB Christmas Special, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Hey were back...you know I just realized...I've got like, 5 of these Ipads, and I'm just finding it out like now...never used them...not even sure why I have five-BUT, who am I to complain. Alright, where were we, I haven't the foggiest idea...okay, were just not gonna tell me? Alright-oh, teleprompter, good-good, we are making progress...Hi I'm Mark Hamill, you might remember me as Luke Sky-wait a minute...this is old stuff, what is this? I hear you snickering back there Eric! Ugh...alright, on with the show...

. . .

Robin was in the Batmobile making his way closer and closer to Joker's hideout where he was broadcasting his signal.

"Alright, nearly there." He said "Just a couple of clicks to go." He got over the radio "Batman!"

"_What is it Robin."_

"I'm near Joker's hideout, how's the train?"

"_Pieces, but everyone's okay." he said flying away suddenly something came over his bat watch. "Something's overriding my watch! It has to be the Joker!" _

"Oh boy."

"_Hello Bats! Have I got a surprise for you! You know the old song about those damned chestnuts roasting over an open fire-hmm? Well that's more than what I can say to the pilots police chopper 4 currently hovering over Gotham City Square in Midtown, better hurry-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"_

"_Gasp! I gotta get to Central Island!"_

"But, what about-"

"_I'll meet up with you later! Just hurry Robin!" _

"Got it, Robin out."

The signal took Robin up the only mountain on Long Island (I doubt there even really is one to begin with) but at the top of the mountain was the Gotham Broadcast center.

"Gah! I knew it!" Robin jumped from the Batmobile the first thing he noticed outside was a large present. Joker watched from inside the center.

"Well-well-well, he sent me the sidekick, ha-ha, alright, let's see if Bird Boy can fly-HA-HA-HA! How bout it folks? Wanna see Bird Boy fly? Hmm? Lawfuls? Anyone-hey! Now that's just rude flipping me off like that Sister!"

Robin approached a rather large present in the snow just outside.

"Okay..." he approached it as slow as possible. "Why in the world would he just put a perfectly good present out-[BOING]-Yipe!" it was a Joker-in-the-box.

"Ha-ha! Merry Christmas Boy Blunder!" it said

"Why does everyone call me that?" he sighed

"Have I got a special Christmas gift, for you!" from it's mouth, out plopped a spherical object in wrapping paper.

"Wow, gee thanks, I always wanted a baseball." he sighed and tore the paper off. "Wow Joker what a lovely hand-grenade...HAND GRENADE!" he quickly tossed it and jumped aside-[BOOM]"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-hmm?" Joker noticed the grenade had hit the broadcasting antenna when it exploded, causing the signal to disrupt. "Whoops! Looks like were experiencing some technical difficulties! But don't worry folks, were still on the air!" he chuckled.

"That's it! I've had enough Christmas with the Joker for one lifetime!" Robin blared bursting through the front door.

Meanwhile Batman was flying towards Midtown listening for the sputter of chopper propellers. He was in luck! Flying damn near the city square was the helicopter in question, the only helicopter that was.

"Come on-come on-where-is-it-where-is-it-where-is-it- THERE!" he spotted it. And noticed the bomb was attached to the tail rotor.

"Okay, gotta get those pilots before it goes k-bluey!"

. . .

"Can you believe it we gotta work on Christmas eve?" the one pilot asked "I mean what's that all about?"

"Ha-ha, hell I don't know man, but what I do know is, were doing one more sweep, than I'm-a punching outta here, and returning home to my wife and kids, and actually get Christmas started right."

"Amen to that brother!"

"So, is Sheila making some of that world famous stuffing of hers?"

"You know it!"

"Man I remember trying some of that at the precinct pot luck hmm-hmm-hmm that was some good-[boom-wer-wer-wer-wer]-What in the hell!"

"Amos what the hells going here!"

"I dunno! There was an explosion and now were spiraling out of control!" Suddenly Batman opened the cockpit.

"Gasp! It's-"

"Yeah-yeah-come on, you'll be safe with me!"

"You're gonna have to work faster than that Bats!" the second pilot said

"Why's that?"

"Cause were about to crash into that Building!"

"GASP! GRAB ON!" he grabbed them both just I time...coincidentally the chopper simply exploded in mid air.[KA-BLUEY]

"Grrr-Bah-Humbug!" Joker jeered seeing the two live pilots and Batman from one of his monitors. He saw Robin get closer, through one of the camera feeds. "Ooh lookie! If it isn't our favorite Bird Brain, now I really don't want to be an ungracious host but-Bah who am I kidding, nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

Robin searched high and low, until he saw a double door at the end of a long hallway marked 'Broad-

"Broadcast Room! Perfect!" yeah-he heard who he thought was the Joker from the inside, laughing maniacally.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ho-ho-ho-ho-hee-hee-hee-hee-hah-hah-hah-ho-ho-ho!"

"He's in there alright." Robin burst in "HA! The gig is up Jo...ker?" he saw the entire room was empty. "Aw man I must have just missed him-rats! Yo Nighthacker!"

"_Go ahead Robin."_

"I found Joker's place, the old broadcast station, I just missed him though, he got away and with the hostages."

"_I'll see if I can pinpoint him via satellite."_

"Sounds steezy, Robin out."

…

"_...Steezy?"_

Robin looked around the room some more, the whole place was ransacked and vanished alright, though on stage was another large present, about half the size as the joke-in-the-box. He approached the package.

"Yeah right Joker, I'm not falling for that one again." he crept over to the package, and sprawled to see if anything was going to spring out at him. When nothing happened, he carefully removed the lid. "Whew, I knew iTTTTTTTTT!" Robin took a second look as to what was inside, it was a micropulse bomb. A tape recorder was on top of it

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Wow Bird Brain, you're even dumber than I thought! If I were you, i would hightail it out of here toot sweet, clocks a-ticking!"

"Damn!" Robin sprinted for the nearest window, crashing through not realizing it was a three story drop to the foot and a half of snow below "Oh shi-[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" Robin hit the ground as the explosion nearly demolished the place. A disoriented Robin looked up from the snow pile to see a dark van drive down the mountain, with the driver chuckling all the way...

"Ugh." Robin dug his head back into the snow ...commercial...

Robin was driving back towards the city in the Batmobile. Batman called him

"_Any luck?"_

"Define luck."

"_He wasn't there was he?"_

"There and gone, nearly blew me to smithereens while he was at it, got away with the hostages."

"_...I'm sure you did your best."_

"Gee thanks, where are you?"

"_Oddly enough, the building right above you."_

"Huh?"

"_Unless there's another Batmobile in Gotham City."_

"Oh, maybe it was a Christmas present." With no answer Batman plopped right in, and the two drove away.

"It stinks we don't know where his new hideout is, and it's nearly midnight!" Suddenly, Joker came on the television in the Batmobile!

"_Too Bad Batman still doesn't even know where we are now! All dressed up and no place to go, well now, why don't we see what Mommy and Baby Lawful are getting for Christmas." the two begrudgingly opened the package. _

"_What is it, what is it? GASP! It's a Baby Bloopie doll! Oh isn't it precious?"_

"Wait a sec...I remember those things!"

"You do?" Robin asked

"Yes, they were only made at the Laffco Toy company here in Gotham, the same people that made my guitar!"

"Ooh, surprise-surprise."

"Ignoring that, they went out of business years ago."

"Couldn't imagine why-"

"Zip it! Geoff, location of the Laffco Toy Factory!"

"_Uh...hang on...Got it! 3rd and Main, Dawson Heights!" _

"That's not far, let's go!"

They drove at a breakneck speed towards the factory-[CRASH]-the dynamic duo crashed through one of the walls and rode through the place, searching the whole main floor. Eventually the two stopped at the main factory floor, and jumped out of the Batmobile, ready to search.

"Look sharp Robin!" Batman warned Joker appeared on the balcony above, near an office.

"Nah-ha-ha-ha." he dashed into the office "Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-ha-ha-ha-hmm-hmm-hmm...ha-ha-ha-ha!" By the way, if you wanna hear an epic Joker laugh, Youtube "Mark Hamill Laughing" it'll be the first clip there. Anyway, he activated a stereo, playing that song from The Nutcracker sweet everyone is so familiar with.

"What the?"

"Oh Bats! I'm so pleased you could make it to my little Christmas Suarez! Follow me, I'll show you our guests of honor-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Joker!"

"Get back here!" they followed Joker up to the catwalks, and to the other factory floor. There Joker stood next to a giant vat of acid, which his hostages were hovering over, tied up, and Joker had a pair of scissors right by the rope

"Not one step closer Bats! Or it's curtains for the Awful Lawful family-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" he held up a present in the other. "Come on Batman, open your Christmas present from me." he tossed it to him. "Go on, open it."

"Don't do it Batman!" Robin warned

"sniff-sniff, why is it smoking-Damn!"

"Quick!" Robin tossed him a baseball bat, and Batman smacked the present away before it exploded BOOM. "Ha! They don't call ya Batman for nothing!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh I can't stand it." Joker fell over laughing, he was quick to stand up when Batman grabbed him. Joker managed to wriggle out of the sweater, even though he was wearing another sweater.

Ha! Run-run as fast as you can! You won't catch me I'm the Joker man-huh!" Joker stopped dead in his tracks when he saw his freed hostages right in front of him. "Uh-ha-ha, hey ya gang! Uh...so, anyone in the mood for some Christmas Carrols, I'll start-Deck the halls with bowls of hol-[oof!]"

"I'll deck your halls you maniac! Grab him Chef!" Chris ordered

"With pleasure!"

"NO WAIT!"

"I gotcha Christmas Cheer right here Joker-[Baf]" Gil clocked him one

"I'll shove this in your stocking You Ogre!" Courtney shouted

"Please! No more Christmas beating me up puns-ow-that doesn't bend that way-ow, not in the face!"

The dynamic duo just shook their heads and laughed

"Think they got it from here?" Robin asked

"Yeah, let's go home."

Back at home everyone was psyched for some Christmas goose, and holiday movies, even though the broadcast signal was a tad-blah!

"It was sure nice of Commissioner Gordon to give you that copy of "It's a Wonderful Life" Alfred said offering them egg nog."

"And it is an wonderful life." Cody added

"It...has it's moments."

And now back to Arkham where Joker was yet again, singing to himself...loudly

"Don we now our gay apparel fah-la-la-la-la-la-la-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh, Merry Christmas!"

…

The end...Well, I'm glad you enjoyed this little slice of nostalgia, I know I did...and while you were gone, I unloaded some of these pesky Ipads. I used one as a frisbee and it's currently in pieces in my kitchen, I gave one to my son, oh you'll love this, I'm using this one here as firewood...not doing so well, and this one here, it totally disassembled it...not impressed. Oh well, Merry Christmas and all that jazz, whose ready for our next exciting episode, I believe it's Firefly's debut if I'm not mistaken, so finish your homework, REVIEW, do your chores, and, this message is from Niko-Why are you people still reading this when you could be watching Project X? GO SEE IT! Alright, stay tuned guys!

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Nighthacker

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr.: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Detective Courtney Montoya

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Mark Hamill: **Himself, Laughy, TV Announcer, Joker's Laugh

**Drew Nelson: **Duncan Napier**/**Joker

**Rob Paulsen: **Asst. Commissioner Gil Mason, Pilot #2

**Mari Devon: **Summer Gleeson

**Dorian Harewood: **Pilot #1, Engineer

**April Winchell: **Old woman

**Dante Basco: **Boy


	163. Burn For You, Part I

**Villain: Firefly (Intro) Featuring: Tuck**

**Episode Archive: AHHHHHHHH!**

**Story By: Sparkling-Nexis137**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Curt Geda**

**Teleplay By: Michael Reaves&Paul Dini&Butch Hartman**

**Art Direction: Bruce Timm&Eric Radomski**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 79: Burn For You**

Gotham Prep, THE school for those who want their rich and spoiled son or daughter to truly benefit from the rich and spoiled experience. Cody Drake was no exception. Twas before first period and the boy wonder was propped up against his locker, half asleep from the previous night consisting of bad guy ass kickery. I'm certain he'll pull through like he always doe-"

[thud] "Zzzzzzzzzzzzz." Oh well, never hurts to try.

"Cody...Cody...Yo DRAKE!"

"Huh-huh, what, what happened?" Cody asked waking up "Who's on first?"

"Dude, it's almost time for first period." His buddy Marc Delvecchio nudged him

"Oh right." the two started for first period Chemistry. "But you know it's not first period I'm worried about it's-"

"COOOOOOOODYYYYYY!"

"Yipe!"

"Oh no dude! It's Sierra!"

"Sierra Lynns that crazy bitch! I hate it that she STILL has a crush on me!"

"I know dude, I don't think you could have been more clear the last time you turned her down."

_JUMPING JIMMINEY CHRISTMAS IT'S A FLASHBACK!_

_Cody approached a half asleep Trent trying to unwind with some TV after his first job. _

"_Hey Trent, can borrow your credit card?"_

"_Yeah I'll help you in a sec Alfred." he said half asleep. _

"_I'm taking that as a yes."_

_-The Next Day-_

_A blimp flies over Gotham city outfitted with a ton of megaphones. In the cockpit, Cody speaks over a microphone._

"_Ah-he-hem, attention, attention Sierra Lynns, this is Cody Drake, I just wanted to set the record straight with you that I WILL NEVER LOVE YOU! GET IT! YOU'RE CRAZY! YOU'RE CRAZY! That is all."_

_Flashback over._

"But she still won't leave me alone!"

"Well obviously dude she has a hard time taking hints-"

"CODDDDYYYY!"

"Aw jeez shes getting closer! Quick hide me!"

"Gotcha bro!" Cody quickly jumped into Marc's nearby locker. Just as Sierra walked by, holding something dorkish.

"Where's Cody, where is he?"

"I'm sorry who?" Marc asked leaning against his locker.

"Don't you play dumb with me Delvecchio! You're his best friend! Now where is he?"

"I'm sorry Sierra I haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about."

"Oh, I'll find him alright."she started down the hall "He has to come to class sooner or later...and when he does, I'll show him my latest and greatest invention, he's sure to love!"

"Oh what is it, dare I ask?" Marc rolled his eyes uninterested.

"It's a revolutionary new flame thrower that I've been working on. Once I show my sweet-sweet Codykins this, he's sure to fall in love and not see that I'm just some pyrotechnic screw-up." her smile quickly faded "So run it by him, I'm looking." she walked away.

"I'll be sure to tell him-NOT!" . . . "And...shes...gone." he opened the locker, and Cody fell out.

"Ugh! I don't know how the nerds breath in these things!" he stammered catching his breath "Say, thanks Marc."

"No problem, I'm sure you'd do the same for me is some psycho flame loving girl had the hots for me, come on, let's go see what Mr. Birkendale has limped into the barn with." The two approached the door to Advanced Chemistry with Mr. Boring old Birkendale, a man in his early 50's, not kid friendly.

"Drake, Delvecchio, glad to see both you dumbasses decided to join us. I'd give you detention but I'm afraid if I do, you'll go blab to the headmaster that I keep calling you dumbasses, take your seats."

"Uh...thanks I guess?" they both shrugged

"You're welcome."

The two passed Sierra, who was giving Cody the face.

"Psst...Cody-Cody..."

"What?" Cody sneered

"Love-you." she whispered

"Ms. Lynns!"

"Yes Professor Birkendale sir?"

"Is there something you would like to share with the rest of the class?"

"As a matter of fact sir, there is!" she grabbed the flame thrower and darted to the front of the room.

"Ugh, sorry I asked, me and my big mouth." he groaned

"First off I dedicate this to my very special Codykins!"

"Oh brother." Cody groaned

"As you do anything else, what the hell is this thing, and what makes it so damn special?" Birkendale asked

"This is a flame thrower professor, it's a very special flamethrower because-"

"Why? Cause you inscribed it with Drake's name in it-ha-ha-ha-ha"

"Actually, yes sir I did." his smile faded

"I hate my job, continue before I start to drink."

"Thank you sir! Anyway the fuel contents is fueled with the most flammable active materials known to man, when harnessed, the provide a most flammable and everlasting flame, watch I'll demonstrate on that pumpkin."

"Well gee that sounds-Gasp! BAD!" Birkendale quickly came to his senses.

"It's okay sir I totally got th-[craksh]is?" her invention broke to pieces as she pulled the trigger

"Whew, thank God for poor inventing techniques, well thanks for wasting a good 5 minutes of everyone's valuable life Ms. Lynns. Take your seat before I take the risk of giving you a detention."

"Sigh, yes sir."

"Ha!"

"What a loser!"

"You suck Lynns!" everyone laughed.

"Hey, Mr. Birkendale!"

"They're right, you do suck! Alright class, before the interruption we were discussing the-[knock-knock-knock]-Aw cripes! I hate interruptions." he approached the door. And entered a familiar looking blonde girl with some pink highlights in the official school uniform.

"Um, hello, I'm the new student sent here, are you Mr. Birkendale?"

"That all depends are you associated with the Gotham PD, DYFUS, or OSHA?"

"Uh, no."

"Then yes, I am him; welcome to Advanced Chemistry Miss...?"

"Rhinehart, Sara Rhinehart sir."

"Gah." Cody smiled

"Alright, everyone-like you care-please give a warm Gotham Prep welcome to Miss Sara Rhinehart."

"Hi Sara!"

"Know anyone?"

"Why yes professor, that handsome devil over there, Cody Drake!"

"Huh?" Sierra gasped

"Hang on...are you both crazy, and or fire obsessed?" Birkendale asked

"Crazy yes, fire obsessed no, thank God." Cody said "Shes my girlfriend-TAKE THAT SUCKERS! I'm dating that!"

"Alright, Blondie, go sit by lover-boy dumbass over there, and do your damned best to pay attention."

"Yes sir."

"Alright gang, since all this excitement just shot 15 minutes right in the ass, let's salvage as much as this lesson as possible." Charming, isn't he?

"What are you doing here Sara bear?" Cody whispered, Sierra tried to listen in.

"Tuck thought I could benefit from a more social atmosphere."

"But...you're 19."

"Tee-hee, I lied to you, I'm only 17."

"Niiiiiiiiiiiiice."

"Humph, I don't like her." Sierra gritted her teeth.

Later that day after school. The 'perfect' couple held hands on their way to grab a bite to eat all while Sierra followed them at a far away range.

"Steal my Codykins away from me will you, well, we can fix that, won't me, Mr. firecracker." yup, it's that time...Cleveland? Yo where you at?

...Oh she crazy.

Thank ya Cleveland! Now get back to your show! Cody and Sara were behind an ally way in one of the wealthier Gotham suburbs.

"So, what's Tuck planning exactly?"

"I dunno, something about a bridge, or a parking garage-oh yeah parking garage! That;s it, you know these new and dangerous missions are starting to get tedious, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah but the whole secret dating thing is real is really nice. Trent still hasn't totally come around to the whole me dating a supervillain thing-take it seriously he says, sigh, oh well, when your the Boy Wonder, you have your responsibilities. What are you gonna go?"

"I know I'm gonna love that certain Boy wonder." Sara said caressing his arm, the two shared a kiss, and Sierra took some angry pictures at the foot of the ally.

"What does she mean by, Boy Wonder...I wonder."

"Oh God look at the time, I was supposed to meet Tuck in 15 minutes to blow up that parking garage!"

"And I was supposed to meet Batman in 10 minutes to stop you guys from blowing up the parking garage!"

"Aw man we gotta change here! Freezing as it is!"

"What choice do we have Sara! Come on!" Like the micro Clark Kent's that they were, the kids threw off their street clothes and dressed in their superhero/supervillain apparel. Sierra couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"Oh my God." she gasped at a low whisper.

"Alright Robin, I'll see you tonight."

"You too Exterminator." they gave each other another kiss, before disappearing.

Sierra jumped into the ally happy as punch.

"Wow! Who knew! My humble little boy wonder...Eeeee! Is the real Boy wonder! Oh yes! My Codykins, the assistant defender of the night! Oh how I love it! Oh this could be just like one of those Superhero fantasy moments and-" she remembered her and Ex kiss, and a frown grew on her tanned face. "But nooooo! He's with herrrrrr! Sara Rhinehart, the exterminator! Should have known!" she angrily stomped her way home.

"Unbelievable! Can't believe that skanky harlot trying to steal my precious Cody from me!" Wow, Harley Quinn much? She stomped up to her room, which was a clutter with pyro...stuff, and reluctant pictures of Cody. She jumped onto her bed, and sobbed. "Stupid kids for calling me stupid! Stupid professor Birken-whatever for calling me a failure, stupid Marc Delvecchio from keeping me from Cody, Stupid Sara Rhinehart from stealing him from me...and...and...Stupid-STUPID CODY DRKAE!" She threw a shoe at a life size poster of Cody's Senior Portrait...love to know how she got that. "Ohmigosh! Codykins! I'm so-so sorry! I knowone day we can be together my sweet but first...oh, what can I do, Cody only has it for the bad girl type...but I can...never...be...that." DING, there's that lightbulb

"That's it! If I want Cody to loveeeee me, I'll just have to be the bad girl..." an evil smirk crept onto Sierra's face. "Yes yes...I know just what to do...hmm-hmm-hmm." she got right to work designing her new trademark look only DC owns. "And then, once I have my new look, I'll just destroy my only competition, that way Cody will have to love the new Bad me, it's the perfect plan!" Of course it's NOT

And about that Parking garage, Ex landed on the roof, where Tuck was waiting.

"Ex, you're late!"

"Sorry Master, homework, and stuff."

"Oh, right; school I forgot, my apologies, but you will have to learn to balance both young lady."

"Yes sir!"

"Good girl, alright, lets go."

On a building across the street, the Bat team was waiting as well. Cody flew onto the roof

"Robin, you're late."

"Where you been squirt?" Batgirl asked

"Sorry, you know, homework and stuff."

"Oh yeah, well come on, they're both ready, and if we do good, I feel like ice cream, any takers?" the three swung their way to the roof of the garage, and confronted the new age Huntsmaster and Huntsgirl...inside joke.

"HA!"

"Oh no!"

"How did you know about this?" Tuck asked "I've told nobody!"

"Let's just say a little birdie told me." Batman half smirked

"WHAT! Penguin! That fat sonofabitch! Oh well, Ex! Attack!"

"Yes master-[fwooooooosh]"

"Ex look out!" Tuck quickly tackled her aside,

What in the hell!" everyone looked out to the side of the parking garage. To see someone in a flying, what looked like to be a firefly suit, and mask, holding a flame gun.

"Mind if I...turn the heat up on this party?"

**To Be Continued...I LOVE BACON! And reviews are nice, if you enjoy bacon, or byproducts of it as much as I do, let me know, so that we all may bask in the porky goodness! **


	164. Burn For You, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"Just what we need another psycho running around." Robin groaned.

"Aw, thanks." the flying psycho said in sort of a cooing voice.

"I don't like him, but I'm pretty sure that was not a compliment." Tuck added

"Zip it Mask Face!" flames were fired from the gun-oh you know it's Sierra by now!

"Who are you?" Batman asked taking out a Batarang

"I am Firefly! The pyrotechic villain who soars through Gotham setting fire to whatever I please, even the hearts of others."

"That made absolutely no sense-"

"ZIP IT!" Firefly boomed. Tuck looked at Batman

"Temp truce old boy?"

"Until we nab whoever this is."

"Splendid, Ex! Do it!"

"With pleasure Master-"

"Ahem!" Batman glared at Ex, as did Robin.

"Uh...oops, jam."

"Bah! That's a brand new stolen rifle too-tsk-tsk-tsk, seems their getting sloppy over at Heckler&Koch!" Tuck snarled

"Well I'm not! Eat this Exterminator!" Firefly blasted again, everyone was certain to duck out of the way, amazingly, Firefly's firey blast hit the concrete of the parking garage, which melted it clean off.

"What the?" Batgirl gazed at amazement

"That's incredible." Exterminator agreed

"And highly dangerous." Way to kill the mood Batman.

"I know, I designed it! And it works great!" Firefly cheered "Whose next on my menu of fire!"

"See you can tell shes new by the crappy villain puns." Robin pointed out.

"Thanks a lot Poindexter! When I want a lecture on the history of CRAP I'll be sure to ask you!" Batgirl yelled at him

"HEY!"

"Whoa!" Batgirl dodged a blast, the floor close by her melted away

"NO ONE! Talks to Robin that way girlie-GOT IT!"

"Okay...m-m-m-message received."

"Good!"

"Firefly! Hang on!" Batman warned "Everyone has a gimmick, what's yours? And why does it involve Robin?"

"Yeah, I too am curious." Ex asked

"Well come on, I mean; who wouldn't love Robin?"

"Uh, us for starters!" Tuck boomed . . . "Right Ex?"

"Uh...y-yes, sure thing Master."

"Good."

"Look! I just think Robin is fantastic! I would do anything for him! Even if that means mowing all you hacks down! That means you too Batman!"

"Oh gee...I'm scared." he said with equal emotion to a prison warden.

"It's five on bloody one! Let's end this!" Tuck insisted

"Okay you are really starting to annoy me!" Firefly shot more fire his way, Tuck jumped behind a car as the floor melted beneath him.

"Whoa-WHOAAAAAA!"

"That's enough Firefly!" Robin yelled tossing a Batarang!"

"Eeee! He tossed a bat thing at me." she cooed. "I'll be right there my sweet Robin, just as soon as I destroy Exterminator once and for all!"

"I don't think I like that!" she groaned "Aw jeez!" she shot right at the floor beneath her, it melted, and Ex fell through, into a pile of warm concrete goop at the next floor below "Yipe!"

"EX!" Robin yelled.

"It's okay, the roof that once was broke my fall.

"Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but Ex has a date with death! Just like I'll have a date with Robin. She dove into the pit, and searched around the goop for Exterminator.

"Quick, after her!" Batman ordered.

Below Firefly looked all around for Exterminator but had no such luck.

"Now, where are you?" suddenly she was blinded by a goop snowball "Wha-HEY!" this caused her jetpack to go haywire, and she rocketed through a "fresh" hole, and blasted off. "I'll get you Exterminatorrrrrrrrr!" she yelled. A goop covered Ex looked at her flying away haphazardly and smirked "ha-ha, perfect." she smiled. Robin and the others jumped down

"Exterminator!"

"Are you alright?" Batman asked

"Just fine, looks like we won't be destroying this garage today."

"Yeah she did a fine job of that." Batgirl added

"Tuck?" Exterminator asked

"Escaped."

"Guess I'll be doing the same, see ya guys."

"No you don't Sara-[kooosh]" she disappeared into a cloud of smoke. "Damn, she got away."

"So...still on for ice cream?" Robin asked

Twas the next day at school, Cody was asleep at his locker during lunch hour.

"Zzzzzzzzzz." he was dreaming about Sara...and the ice cream he never got, what a shame. Suddenly! Sierra sneaked up on him

"CODY!"

"GAH! Gasp-gasp-dammit Sierra, what have I told you about sneaking up on me?"

"That doing it gives you mini heart attacks and I should stop."

"Thank you!"

"No Cody, wait!"

"What is it?" he snarked

"Uh...well I'm not sure how to put this. So I'll be subtle about it."

"Oh joy." the Boy Wonder rolled his eyes.

"Meet any "hot" characters last night my little Robin?" Okay I never actually said how subtle.

"W-hat?"

"That's right Robin, I know everything." she smiled "Eeee, and I love it!" she gave him a big hug.

"Wait...If you know that...then, that means-"

"Yup, I'm Firefly baby!"

"WHAT! I was gonna say you were maliciously stalking me again! I didn't know that!"

"Ooooh, well yeah, I'm Firefly!"

"Sierra! That actually makes perfect sense...but...but why!" Cody said with venom.

"Cause! I know Sara's the Exterminator! And I know you have a thing for bad girls, so I thought-"

"I would just drop my hot ass bad ass girlfriend who loves me more than Harley loves Joker and then just come running head over heels for you, right?"

"YES!" she jumped for joy

"It's official, you have lost it."

"I may have lost it Codykins! But I've lost it for you!"

"That's it, you're going to Arkham!"

"No! If I'm there, I can't be with you!"

Exactly! You finally got it!"

"I can't let you do that!"

"Sorry." she grew a little angry

"Fine! But if you'll be like that then I'll...I'll...I'll tell yours and Sara's secret!"

"You wouldn't!" good bluff calling.

"Oh, I would!" she got closer "Just please Cody! Take me, not Sara!" with nowhere else to turn Cody shot into the boys Bathroom.

"You can't follow me in here this time! There are laws now!"

"Ugh, fine, if that's how you want it...Remember Codykins, Sierra not Sara!" she ran away, nearly crying.

"Ugh!Damn that psycho!" Cody yelled, "If she blows my secret...oh God he'll kill me!" he got on his cellphone "Pick up pick up pick up!"

"_Hello?"_

"Bridgette! It's Cody! Long story short, get to the school pronto!"

"_I have class in like 30 minutes-"_

"Cancel it! I have no time for games Batgirl this is serious!"

"_Ugh, fine I'll be right over." she hung up._

"Time to end this before it begins. I hope the old man doesn't find out."

Sara was busy organizing her new locker, upon closing the door, a tanned purple haired figure leaned against the side.

"Oh, hello uh-Sierra is it not?"

"Oh drop the nice act Exterminator."

"What?"

"Oh please, I know everything, don't deny it, I already told Cody. He knows." Sara glared

"Lemme guess, you're obsessed with him, so you felt the only way to feel accepted was to turn evil and try to rub me out, right?"

"You are good."

"Yeah, now lemme offer this as a rebuttal-GRUNT!" she grabbed Sierra by the throat and pinned her against the locker. "So help me Lynns, I will murder y-"

"ah-ah-ah, strangulation is against school rules." she choked with a half smile, reluctantly she released.

"Grr, this isn't over Lynns, I'm trained to kill...I'll find you alone...somewhere." she said walking away.

"Hmm-hmm, too bad you can't wait that long."

Not much later at lunch, Sara and Cody were talking about their current situation.

"Great! Sigh honey why do you always get the crazies?"

"I dunno." Cody sighed

"Well, what are we gonna do, she'll blow our secrets!"

"Relax, Bridgette's on her way, she'll straighten this out, just as long as Trent never finds out!"

"Totally." Suddenly, Sierra was at the the end of the Cafeteria, trying to get the school's attention.

"Uh attention, uh your attention please." no one acknowledged her, angered she took out her flame gun and gave a short burst to the ceiling. "I. Said. ATTENTION!" everyone looked at her "Thank you, I-"

"Lynns, what are you doing?" Birkendale asked

"Zip it Birkendale! No one even likes you!"

"Sigh...You see, this is what happens when you damn kids eat sugar!"

"GRR! That's it!" she blasted him with a fireball and he flew, bursting through five walls before stopping

"OWWWWWWWW-[thud]-I'm okay."

"Now then, where was I...oh yeah." she transformed suddenly into her firefly outfit. "I'm Firefly! And I'm here to claim what's mine and get my revenge!" everyone ran screaming from the cafeteria! "It's curtains for you Exterminator!" she aimed her gun at Sara. "Say good-[chink]-huh?" a batarang knocked the gun from her hands, she looked up to one of the window ledges to see Batgirl.

"What? No invite for me?"

"Grr! There's more than one way to do this!" she reved her jet packs engine and rocketed for Sara, grabbing her.

"HEY! Let me go Sierra!"

"Oh I'll let you go alright! How does 3,000 feet in the air sound?"

"Sierra!"

"Stop!" the other two ordered.

"No way! This is the only way I know I'll be with my sweet-sweet Codykin-[oof]" In the midst of her gloating, Firefly ran into something hard that stopped her dead in her tracks...Batman. A damaged Firefly looked up to see an angry Dark Knight. "Oh, nuts."

Later outside Batman was explaining to the police what happened.

"Great, another costumed villain, woo-hoo just what we need." the officer complained. "Alright boys load miss psycho here up."

"Yes sir." Sierra was loaded into the back of a SWAT wagon.

"It's Arkham for you Lynns."

"Wait, can't I at least say goodby to my sweet-sweet codyk-"

"Nope, goodbye!" Cody said, the doors slammed on our sobbing psycho. And they drove away with her.

"Whew, that was close." Him and Sara, looked at Batgirl and Batman.

"What?"

"Yeah, relax, were on top of this." Batman than did a half smile

"I know, just uh...hmm-hmm, keep it cool." the two swung away via bat hooks, and the students gathered round

"Dudes!"

"Check it out."

"New girl and Cody know Batman!"

"So neat." the two lovebirds looked at each other, and held hands

"Walk you to class?" Cody asked

"Love to."

**The End**

**Alright, what do we got, what do we got, what do we got...I know! We got some Hugo, a-Strange up a-next ladies and gentlemen, enjoy, review, and HEY! Go do some exercise, it's good for you!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Rhinehart/The Exterminator

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Annick Obonsawin: **Sierra Lynns/Firefly

**Jeff Bennett: **Tucker Vanzetti/kid

**Kurtwood Smith: **Prof. Birkendale

**Scott Menville: **Marc Delvecchio

**Tara Strong: **various kids

**Ben Diskin: **various kids

**Dee Bradley Baker: **various kids

**James Arnold Taylor: **Officer


	165. A Cat In the Hand, Part I

**Villain: Hugo Strange (Intro) Featuring: Dr. Hans Steinreich**

**Episode Archive: Tyger, Tyger (1992)**

**Story By: SargeantEpsilon**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Frank Paur**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini**

**Art Direction: Eric Radomski**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 80: A Cat In The Hand...**

Twas late at night at the Gotham Zoo over there in Reed Park. Catwoman had scaled the walls to said zoo, to peek at her favorite cats. She stopped at her personal favorite, the panther.

"Hello there my sweet."

"grrr." he roared quietly.

"Sigh, I'm sorry I haven't been able to see you, or you guys." she looked at the snow leopards next door "I've been in my cage these passed few weeks." she hopped into the panther's habitat, and pet him. "Come here."

"Purrrrrrrrr."

"We got this new security chief, real pain in the ass, ha; he's related to Bullock, go figure."

"Grrrr."

"Yeah I know...so anyway escape has been next to impossible lately, but; I managed."

"Purr." the panther nudged up against Catwoman like a cat does when it likes you...or wants some tuna fish.

"And the first thing on my mind when I escaped, was to see you guys."

"Purrrr."

"Yeah, I love you guys too." She then heard loud thumping footsteps. "What the?" suddenly a large beast jumped into the habitat.

"Evening miss Kyle." it said in a booming voice.

What IT was, was a gorilla, a large, legit, TALKING gorilla.

"What? You can talk...tell this isn't like that movie with Kevin James."

"No, I'm afraid not, and you better come with me at once." the gorilla ordered

"Or you'll do what? Force me to watch you scratch yourself and eat bananas?"

"Oh, funny, like I haven't heard that one a million times." he charged.

"You forget I have claws-yah!" she went to slash the gorilla as he made a pass. She was stunned to see she didn't leave a dent.

"Ha-ha, was that supposed to hurt?"

"Oh boy." he grabbed Catwoman, but not before taking off her cowl.

"Good, I did find the right Catwoman...not that there was any doubt."

"Hey! Let me go ya big ape!"

"You and the puns, funny...to the last."

"Well, at least the stereotypes are true...talking gorilla's sure are sophisticated." like King Kong, he climbed out of the habitat, all of the cats growled and hisses

"Roooooar!"

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

"Oh hush, I'm only doing my job!" he said

"Isn't your job supposed to be entertaining zoo goers and throw feces at other gorillas?"

"No-no, those are monkeys."

"Whatever!"

The Gorilla took Gwen to an awaiting van out front of the zoo.

"Ooh, how many bananas did you have to part with to swing this piece of junk!"

"ENOUGH-with the semantics!" he threw a tied up Gwen in the back "Not that they'll make a difference, not once Dr. Strange is through with you-hmm-hmm." he closed up the back.

Coincidentally, while in his car a block up, Mayor Hill was at a red light when he saw the situation unfold.

"Well, it's gonna be one of those nights." with the press of a button he laid back in his seat, and was simultaneously dressed in his Batsuit, with another touch of a button his car transformed into HIS Batmobile, which looked strikingly similar to a familiar multimillion dollar movie prop. "And Jim said the Tumbler was a waste of money."

The van drove away, with V-Bat chasing it.

Later at the zoo, it didn't take long for anyone to realize Catwoman went missing. Batman, and Assistant Commissioner Mason looked over all the crime scene.

"Well, it's baffling alright." Gil said

"Yeah, she breaks out and this is the first place she goes...never fails." Batman said looking over the sand.

"Aw come on Bats, CAT-woman...come on." Gil shrugged.

"I dunno Gil, she could have had ulterior motives." he saw a fine small trail of green goop on the ground. He got a sample ready.

"She loves her cats so much I guess she just enjoys venting...but whoever kidnapped her obviously knows her patterns and knew she'd be here." Gil pondered not paying attention "Now the million dolalr question lies...who?"

"Gil, this place was locked up tight, right?" Batman asked examining the evidence.

"As a prison."

"Ask yourself...Gwen is a gifted acrobat artist...she could get in, but who else could?"

"Hell, nobody."

"Exactly, it was an inside job alright."

"Well no ones in a zoo after hours, except Catwoman, who would do it?"

"Not who Gil...what."

"Are you honestly saying it was one of the animals?"

"Yes...one smart enough to steal a zoo keepers keys, then grab Gwen, and leave."

"Ha, to do that, they'd have to have a real brain...almost like a human."

"Yes." Batman pocketed the evidence. "Alright, I'll start looking."

"My men have already set up a dragnet around the surrounding areas, if there's something to find, believe you me, we'll find it."

"Thanks Gil." Chris's Car pulled up.

"Sorry I'm late, big emergency in Cherry Hill."

"Chris, the park's in Cherry Hill." Gil added

"Uh...Bayside."

"Is this another one of your hair emergencies?"

"Well what if it is?"

"Don't matter, I already got the situation under control, Batman was just-huh?" he turned to see no sign of Batman. "He did it again."

"You get used to it son."

Outside Gotham headed East, V-Bat was still pursuing the van containing Catwoman.

"Grr-come on, were heading east, he's bound to run out of Island at some point." V-Bat snarled The gorilla looked at his mirror

"Humph, this guy just can't get off my back!" he with the push of a button he sprayed an oil slick. The Tumbler was undaunted. "Dammit!"

"Hmm, these stick everytime tires were an excellent investment." V-Bat smirked.

He noticed it seemed the were heading towards a drive way, a long drive way, to a hilltop manor overlooking the Great Peconic Bay. (it's the bay that gives the edge of Long Island that 'C' like shape.)

"That must be where were headed, but I can't spook this guy any longer." V-Bat did a gutsy move, and barreled off of the road and into a ravine, which turned the Tumbler upside down.

"Hmm, well, I knew that slick would work." the ape turned into the driveway and headed for the dark and spooky manor.

While in the ravine, the Tumbler spun back around effortlessly.

"And that's why they call it the Tumbler." V-Bat opened the door and jumped out. "I'm gonna have to go on foot from here if I'm going to be stealthy about this." he stealthily climbed the hill to the top of the hill, almost at the speed of the van.

V-Bat hid by some shrubbery, he watched the ape pull Catwoman from the van.

"Oh great, still you." she groaned

"Enough talk, you won't be doing it much longer." he put Catwoman over his shoulders "Come Miss Kyle, it's time you met Dr. Strange."

"Oh goodie."

He took her through the front door. V-Bat swung to the second floor, jimmied open a window and entered into a corridor as Gothic and ornate as the outside of the house

"Whoa, this place just screams inner sanctum...or mad scientist...question is, where is he?" V-Bat searched the halls. Looking for an answer.

While Old Bat looked for answers, New Bat was finding one. There was only one person in the zoo THAT late at night. He was in the Bat enclosure, their research lab, he was looking through a microscope, when through the corner of his eye, he noticed a shadow fly passed the moonlight shining through a window, he dismissed this, and went back to work.

"Kirk Langstrom."

"Gasp!" he looked up and saw Batman, chilling in the rafters with some bats.

"Oh Bats, you nearly gave me a heart attack." Batman jumped down

"Sorry."

"What can I do you for?" the redheaded scientist asked Batman held up the evidence goop

"Gwen Kyle was kidnapped, right here in the zoo, and I think...it was one of the animals."

"You don't say."

"I need you to analyze this formula residue I found in the panther enclosure, the last place Gwen was."

"Alright, let's have a look." he put a sample under a slide, then put it under the microscope.

"Now I think whatever this stuff is, alters an animals genetic makeup, giving them human traits, like the similar formula that transformed you into the Man-Bat." Batman theorized

"Well you're right about one thing, it IS a mutigenetic re-stabilizer, it changes the DNA of any being into what the controller wants, and will carry out their orders." Kirk looked up

"So...Gene Splicing?"

"A little bit, I'd guess whoever wanted Catwoman wanted her for...perhaps an experiment. And I'd have to guess this animal is simply muscle, taking her to the master."

"Like...maybe, change Gwen into..."

"An actual Cat. Whoever has the formula to give animals human attributes, can most likely change humans into animals or give them animal attributes

"Grrrrr. Antidote?" Batman asked teeth grit.

"Actually." Kirk pulled a pink vile from the table "My wife Francine made me this, it flushed all the Man-Bat venom out of my system, and killed any addiction I had from it-HOWEVER!"

"Oh great."

"The mannerisms you have from whatever animal you are transformed into will be permanent, for example there are times when I feel the need to sleep upside down, and as you've probably noticed, I tend to sleep a good portion of the day, other than that...completely normal." ha handed Batman the vile.

"Thanks Kirk."

"Hey, it's the least I can do."

"Say Kirk?"

"Yeah?"

"You wouldn't happen to have any idea who would want to change a person into an animal...would you?"

"Hmm." the doc scratched his chin. "Come with me." he led Batman into his office, and took out a file "When I attended Stanford I took a class in genetic mutations, quite unpopular class, the prof was a bit of a nutcase, he was a neuro-scientist who was trying his luck at gene splicing, I guess he knew more than he led on."

"What was his name?" Batman asked

"Dr. Hugo Strange." he threw a file on him to Batman, the Dark Knight looked it over. "Lives over in Riverhead at some big and stately manor, he was fired from a brief job here at the zoo as a doctor for trying to combine the genes of a tiger and an elephant, that's why I have his file...I told you he was a nutcase."

"Nutcases...are my specialty." Batman handed the doc the file then disappeared. Kirk half smiled. "Ha-ha, good luck, Batman."

Outside Batman was walking towards the Batmobile, he tried to radio his subordinates.

"Batgirl...Robin...Nighthacker...can anyone read me?"

"_Bats?"_

"Sara?"

"_Yeah, what's the problem?"_

"Where are you?"

"_Does it matter?"_

"Not really, look; just hightail it to 1 Eerie Place in Riverhead, be ready for a fight."

"_You bet."_

Batman approached the Batmobile, but as he opened it he noticed a familiar looking person sitting Shotgun.

"Evening."

"Steinreich." he sneered

"I think I know who's after your kitten."

"You think...but I know, just like I know where you're going." he held up a pair of Bat-cuffs.

"Easy Batman, I don't like Hugo Strange as much as the next man, something has to be done."

"I'll bite." he hopped in the Batmobile and closed the top "What's your beef with Strange?"

"The man's a psychopath, he lives by no morals, no values, the world is just one giant Petri dish to him, and God help you if you stand in his way..."

"...What aren't yo telling me?"

"Sigh, he gave me one of the ingredients for the toxin that wiped out my old prison in Teaneck, I was blissfully unaware of the effects at the time...but Strange wasn't."

"Okay, we'll stop him together-IF...you promise no tricks."

"I lost a lot of people thanks to him-AND a piece of myself, now ask yourself Batman." he transformed

"Do you honestly think I'm going to play tricks!"

"...Not with that face." he changed back

"Good, let's go, who knows what he'll do to Kyle if were too late." they drove off towards Strange's place.

Speaking of which, Gwen found herself in the basement strapped to a lab table, in a large lab like room, filled with cages of experiments, next to Gwen, a table filled with tools and LARGE syringes. The doctor stepped forward.

"Let me go-erg-let me go!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that." he said in an ominous voice.

"Who are you?"

"The names Dr. Hugo Strange." he took a syringe, loaded with green stuff.

"Will that be all master?" the ape asked

"Yes Lester, well done, I've fixed your supper, it's in the kitchen."

"Thank you Master."

"No Lester...thank you, now please, let me be with miss Kyle here."

"As you wish."

Strange wore a lab coat, gloves and goggles, he was bald with a full beard, and perhaps in his mid fifties.

"Lester...did you name him?"

"Yes...it's a good name."

From a locked vent above V-Bat watched everything.

"Oh dear God." there was nothing he could do."

"What do you want with me?" Gwen asked

"What I want miss Kyle...the one pet I never had...a cat."

"Then run to a pet store." she sneered.

"Why would I do that...when I can have you for free."

"I'm going to agree to be your slave!"

"I never said slave young lady, I said pet...a simple...obedient...pet-and not like Lester, he was an actual Gorilla from the Gotham zoo, that I-"

"Let me guess, you made him part human, and made him kidnap me so it would look like a confusing inside job to get the cops and Batman off your tail, right?"

"Very good...but let's see what you have to say, when all that can be said is meow." he stuffed the syringe into Gwen's neck.

"MEOOOOOOOOW!"

"Sweet mother of God." V-Bat watched Gwen change right before his eyes, she became smaller, a nice teal colored fur, though her hair on top remained it's same shape we all know and love.

"Meow...meow..."

"That's a good girl." he started to pet her.

"He has to be stopped." V-Bat sneered, but, he accidentally kicked one of the bars on the vent, sounding a pressure alarm.

"Sh*t!"

"An intruder!" he looked up and saw the silhouette of the Batman, not knowing which one it was "Humph, perhaps my plan wasn't as confusing as I would have hoped. No matter, there are more than a few ways to skin a bat! Isn't that right Gwendolyn?"

"Meow."

**To Be Continued...**

**I know this took me 2 days to write but I really wanted to hit the plot perfectly on this one, so enjoy and REVIEW kiddies!**


	166. A Cat In the Hand, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

First off I would like to give our tireless series directors a round of applause! Here's to you all: Kevin Altieri, Dan Riba, Tom Ruegger, Bruce Timm, Curt Geda, Eric Radomski, Alan Burnett, and Frank Paur! Great job!

That aside V-Bat was crawling through the ventilation system of Strange's house. The alarm kept a sounding.

"Jeez, is this a stately manor or Alcatraz?" he questioned. "There, an opening!" V-Bat crawled through to the vent and jumped out, finding himself near the foyer, right in front of the grand staircase. He heard the ominous voice of strange over a PA system.

"_Welcome Wayne, yes Trent; I know who you are. Rest assured your secret is safe with me, as I have no business telling your rogues or anyone else for that matter. Like yourself I make it my business to know things. You know I had a thought you would be coming to rescue your dear sweet kitten. Ha-ha-ha-ha, of course, you are aware that was foolish! Kyle is my pet now! Chivalrous to the last...foolish...to the last..."_

"Your intellect is surpassing Strange...though your facts are misguided...For I am not Trent Wayne."

"_Hmm...You're right...you sound and look nothing like him...So you are the famous "Vintage Batman" that's been reliving his glory days, hmm?"_

"Now you're right there...and I can assure you, Trent Wayne is not Batman."

"_Oh stow the act of friendship, I have my own proof, and his secret will remain safe...but you...different story."_

"Not really when you look at the facts-GASP!" V-Bat looked towards the floor, all of the memories came back to him...what he saw was a large unclean brown stain on the linoleum by the front door.

"_Startled are we?"_

"I remember now...I had it in my head, I thought this place looked familiar...no wonder this place brought back so much ire and regret."

"_Perhaps that stain I could never remove...is blood, yes...you've had a bad memory in this house, I acquired this apartment from the late Hill family, after they were murdered, got a deal on the place too, so good in fact, I could make so many renovations, like my lab. The older brother Theodore Hill, took in his brother Hamilton after they were murde-gasp...that's it."_

"What's it?" V-Bat clenched his fists

"_Oh nothing...you've merely exposed yourself...I know the older brother has since moved on over seas, which means, the original Batman could be only one person...You, are Hamilton Hill, yes?" _

"..." V-Bat uncowled "I flushed out the memory of this place for too long, I was so overwhelmed with revenge, that's why I did this...then once my parent's murderer was killed on that cable car accident in New York...I found closure, but I had already started a family, got busy with my career-my future, I never forgot about my parents...but I had forgotten about this place. Reminding me...what it is I do, Being the vengeance of the night...I am the night." he put the cowl back on.

"_Ha-ha-ha-ha, what a bout of serendipity this must be, yes? What are the odds? Tell me something Ham, how does it feel, to stand on the very lumber that ran with your parents blood? Do you feel sad? Full of rage? Or does that outfit help belay your feelings? Hiding your true self? You are truly an extraordinary specimen, I look forward to breaking you-ha-ha-ha-ha-"_

"GR-AHHHHH!"he blindly threw a Batarang at one of the speakers, breaking it.

"_I have more you know, and there is no escape, you'll find all your exits, quite locked, let's see you tango with my army of mutant talking animals!" _Strange let loose all the animals from their cages. _"In the same place...you may join your parents, adieu Mr. Hill." _

Before he could think, two cheetahs entered through the living room corridor.

"Good evening."

"Batman."

"Oh great, more talking animals." Strange watched it all from his lab, he pet Gwen

"Quite a sight, wouldn't you say Gwendolyn?"

"Meow."

"What an evening...but you know what they say, a Cat in the hand is worth two I the belfry."

Batman was driving with Steinreich through Long Island until they came to the front gate.

"Well, here we are, 1 Eerie Pl." Steinreich said reading the address.

"Good, come on, Catwoman is in there, I hope."

"If I know Strange he's already gotten to her."

"That's why I have the antidote." they noticed the Exterminator atop the fence.

"Why is that here Batman?" she asked

"Clamp down Rhinehart, I'm on your side tonight." Steinreich explained.

"Grrrrr."

"Relax Sara, Hans has his own reasons for disliking Hugo Strange."

"Hugo Strange? Were after a guy named Hugo Strange who lives in a Gothic Stately Manor atop a scary Hill in the dead of winter who lives at 1 Eerie Place?"

"Yes." the two confirmed

"Yup, he's nuts."

"I already know that, now come on, oh and I must warn you both, I'm certain he's got a horde of traps set up." Steinreich explained. They scaled the fence. And approached the manor.

"Locked." Batman checked the door.

"So, we try the windows?" Steinreich suggested

"No time, I'll use some explosives to blow open the door."

"Batman-Batman-Batman, you don't need explosives." Steinreich said stopping him

"I don't? Why?"

"You don't need explosives, because..." he morphed

"You have meeeeee!" he charged at the locked door. Bursting through it.

"Whoa, shame he's not on our side huh?" Ex asked

"Eh, he goes both ways...honestly, he means well, and his evil schemes are shotty and half baked at best, he's okay in my book." the two then entered the manor.

"Uh guys!" Evil Hans pointed to a large bear in the middle of the foyer "We have a problem here!"

"So, the real Batman decided to join the party huh?" e said in a hearty Russian-y Polish accent.

"Who-what are you?" Batman asked

"I am Molotov the Bear-eh! But you can call me-Death!"

"No thanks, I'll call you dinner!" Ex aimed her rifle

"Easy there Elmer Fudd, his mind has been altered by Strange."

"Batman's right, there's easier ways to take care of this-ha-ha-ha!" Evil Hans got closer. "I was always good at Bear wrestling!" he lunged onto Molotov! "HA! Take that you overweight vermin!"

"Hey you! Get off of me, erg! Come closer so I can claw ya!"

"Go you fools!" Evil ordered

The other two ran in. Meanwhile in the kitchen V-Bat was tossed around like a rag doll by the cheetahs until he got the upper hand, he grabbed them both by the heads.

"Hey!"

"No fair!"

"Let's see if dog spray works any better on you two?" he used his free hand to spray some Bat brand: Dog Away.

"Sniff-sniff-ahhhhhhh!"

"That smells horrible!" they dashed away.

"ha! Not so...tough." Batman looked to his left to see Lester eating his dinner, consisting mostly of Bananas. He got a Batarang ready "You wanna be next?"

"No, not really."

"Huh?"

"I'm hungry, and I've done my job for the day, and I'm tired."

"Wow, you talking gorillas are sophisticated."

"Duh."

"...Well, alright then, see ya." V-Bat exited the kitchen where he was promptly tied up by a snake

"Oh and watch out for the-"

"ERGH!"

"Hisssssssssssssss."

"Snake." Lester warned too late.

Twas a King Cobra...ya know the size of an anaconda. No they DO NOT normally get that big.

"Ssssssssssso, you mussssssssssst be the Batman."

"Erg-erg-erg-who-are-erg-you?" he grunted.

"The namessssss Sssssssantiago."

"What's the all the-erg-big names?"

"Eh, Sssssstrange likessssss em. Ssssssso you mussssst be dinner, yummy."

"Yeah, right." Batman turned the corrider

"Gasp! You!"

"Batman!"

"I'll help you out!"

"No wait...Strange!" he struggled "Truned Gwen, to cat...erg...Lab is downstairs-erg, I can take care of myself, go after him!"

"But-"

"Just go! I'll be fine!"

"Yessssssssssss! He'll be fine." Santiago said sarcastically

"Ignore him, just go-GO!" Reluctant, Batman ran back towards the foyer, in the living room he saw Ex trying to best an Owl.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha! Silly human! Your anger will only be your downfall ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Erg! Why can't you be like the good owls from Harry Potter!"

"Sara!" he tossed her three Batarangs "Make em count! I'm going after Strange!"

"Hmm-hmm, perfect! Come at me ya stupid flying rat!"

"Oh, a challenge is it! Well then, who am I to say no!" Batman ran passed Evil Hans, giving Molotov a whopping.

"Hans, you good here?"

"Of course! I'll be fine! Go! Go find Strange!"

"Right!" Batman crawled through the vents, whereas Strange was getting ready for his imminent assault.

"Well my dear Gwendolyn, it's time we prepared for your night in shining armor's arrival, huh?"

Batman crashed into the empty corridor with empty cages, and looked for Strange. His lab would be at the end.

"_Take Two, Welcome Wayne, yes Trent, I know who you are. Don't try and deny it, I'm certain you are here for Miss Kyle yes-"_

"Cut the games Strange! Where is she?"

"Right here." Batman entered the lab, and saw a sad teal and gray thing propped up on a table by strange.

"So, you're Hugo Strange."

"Yes, and you Batman, are about to become a scratching post...how ironic." Gwen looked at him

"Grrrrrrrrrowl."

"She is controlled by me now Batman, and so will every person in Gotham once I'm done with them! Now Gwendolyn, destroy him."

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrowl!" she jumped in front of him and gave him a look of disdain. But she stopped

"Well do it! Destroy Trent Wayne!"

"Alright, this is ridiculous." he grabbed a can of Forget-Me-Bat, and sprayed Strange with it

"Huh, what?"

"Gotta get more of this." he sighed

"Batman!" Strange shook his head "How did you get-hmm, no matter, GWEN destroy the Bat!"

"Grrrrrrrrr."

"Gwen..." he said calmly

"Grrrrmeow! Hiss-hiss-meow!"

"Gwen stop...you know it's me...you don't want to do this." Gwen stopped hissing. She looked at him, and shed a tear...this picture, would make you cry! Glen good storyboard! She then turned around and growled at Strange.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

"Wait, stop, what are you doing, no please!"

"MEOOOOW!" she lunged

"Not in the face!" she went a clawing. Batman smiled.

"Yeah, that's my Gwen."

Later, a K-O-ed apprehended Strange, a human Catwoman and Batman exited the basement as the sun rose. They heard the soothing sound of someone on the baby grand piano, and saw a bunch of sleeping animals.

"Huh?"

"What the?" they saw Ex and V-Bat crowded around the piano, and saw Steinreich playing it.

"Hans?"

"Ah, there you are, I've noticed the soothing melodies of Chopin seem to soothe the savage beast." he explained.

"We've called animal control. They should be here soon." V-Bat explained.

"Good, and someone make sure to get in touch with Kirk Langstrom, he can make sure these animals are returned to their former selves." he led Gwen outside.

"What about me?" Steinreich asked

"Eh...Consider this your one warning Hans. And as for you." he pointed to V-Bat, who suddenly vanished. "Wow...he is good."

"Not bad, not bad at al-"

"Hey, let me out, let me out of this thing! I command you!" the owl ordered from inside a pillow case.

"Well, Chopin can't soothe every savage beast."

Batman drove back towards Gotham with Strange.

"So, thanks for, you know saving me." she cuddled with him, purring.

"You know I would Gwen."

"I know, but tell me, why do I have the sudden urge to lick my backhand, and drink lots of milk?"

"Oh, you'll just get used to it."

"Actually...I like it." she smirked showing some claw.

**The End...**

**Sup! Got some Clayface up next with Blainely...as we speak I am finishing this while listening to my favorite podcast Talking Toons with Rob Paulsen, awesome podcast! Worth the zero dollars and zero cents I paid for it on Itunes. Just doing some advertizing, you're welcome Rob! Alright guys, REVIEW! All that such! And...guess what, tomorrow yours truly decided today to make a dirty GwenxBridgette oneshot ;) So look out for that, alright see a guys! Gotta work tomorrow! Money talks!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Rhinehart/The Exterminator

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Gwen Kyle/Catwoman

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill/V-Bat

**John Glover: **Dr. Hans Steinreich

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Evil Hans, various animals

**Corey Burton: **Dr. Hugo Strange

**Marc Singer: **Dr. Kirk Langstrom

**Rob Paulsen: **Asst. Commissioner Gil Mason

**Kevin Michael Richardson: **Lester

**Carlos Alazraqui: **Santiago

**Jim Cummings: **Molotov

**Eric Bauza: **The Owl

**Frank Welker: **Cheetah #1, various animals

**Will Friedle: **Cheetah #2


	167. Clay Facial, Part I

**Villain: Clayface (Intro) Roland Daggett (intro)**

**Episode Archive: Feat of Clay (1992)**

**Story By: Sparkling-Nexis137**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Eric Radomski**

**Teleplay By: Steve Perry&Joe Landsdale**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 81: Clay Facial**

A white Jaguar pulls just outside the gate to Wayne Manor. And a shady, blonde, and well maintained figure steps out of said Jaguar, with a smirk of pure sleuthy...ness. Not a word.

The figure is Blaineley Stacey-Andrews Hagen, notable actress and current Host for Gotham's 2nd most popular gossip show "Celebrity Manhunt."

"Perfect...now alls I gotta do is scale Trent Wayne's fence, sneak into his house, find something juicy, and steal it-then use it against him on my show...that'll show my peckerhead boss and those hacks at Gotham Insider what's what, especially that smug little bitch Summer Gleeson." she turned to the camera. "There, now you all know." she threw a grapple hook and rope over the fence and started climbing.

"Okay, this doesn't look so har-gah-[splat]...ow, okay take two, ugh; should never have skipped Gym, remember kids, Gym class is important too...gah-[splat]...third times the charm...gah-[splat]-ow."

**-14 tries later-**

she managed to get her body to the top of the fence to catch her breath.

"Okay...okay...whew, man Anne Hathaway makes it look so easy. Now to just, whoa-whoa-whoa-whooooooa-[splat]" she fell over the other side. Blaineley stood up, and cracked her back, and tore leaves off herself.

"Ah, I'm gonna fire my personal trainer." she griped.

Blaineley tiptoed to the front of the manor, it looked as though no one was home. Like mission impossible she climbed the nearest drainage pipe up to the ledge at the side of the roof. THEN, she hung onto the ledge and moved to her right, and slipped to Trent's master balcony. Where she jimmied open the lock and sneaked in, huh; It Takes a Thief much? I miss that show, and MAN does Trent need better security.

So Blaineley started to tear apart his room boxers all over the floor, Shirts, expensive Rolex watches, the works, nothing really seemed too degrading, juicy, or Ratings worthy.

"Come on, surely the 6th richest man in the world has something to hide, but what is it?" she asked herself scratching her head. Then she spotted a little black book "Shpingo, a diary...or book with a list of his gay lovers-OR love notes he writes to a mistress, skies the limit." she skimmed through it, disappointed.

"Well it's a diary alright, I think, what odd entries though: February 2nd Had to get Catwoman and Heather out of a jam, what else is new, still no word on Tuck or Lock-up-what? Who is he Batman? Hmm." she thought for a moment. "Nah." and tossed the book aside "What time does Trent Wayne have to be Batman? None that's what, hell he's probably off boning some high-class prostitute or donating MORE money." she groaned and continued to rifle through his belongings.

Downstairs Alfred was conversing with Batman over telephone.

"So let me see if I have all the answers here. He kidnapped Gwen, and turned her into a cat?"

"_Yes."_

"Hmm, strange."

"_That's his name alright, no joke."_

"Well job well done Master Trent, when can I expect you home...considering it is 5:30 in the morning."

"_I gotta drop Gwen off at Arkham and I'll be home. I'm going in for a half day anyhow. I'll make time Alfred I always do."_

"Hmm, right; well, I'll prepare you breakfast, or brunch or something, ta-ta." he hung up just in time to hear rummaging noises from upstairs. "What in the world?" Alfred climbed the stairs "Whose up there!"

"Oh sh*t." Blaineley whispered "Uh...h-h-housekeeping."

"Oh, well that's alright the-wait a minute...I am the keeper of the house around here!" He stormed to Trent's room. "Alright what's the big-hmm?" he just caught a glimpse of Blaineley falling off the balcony

"No-no-no-no-no-[splat]"

"Was that...Blaineley Hagen? Oh well, it's bee a long night."

a Robed Trent exits the Bat-Cave secret entrance, he yawns, and enters his cleaned room, and plops himself on his bed. No sooner does he enjoy 10 seconds of uninterrupted sleep, does he hear this.

"Rise and shine Master Trent!"

"Huh?" he woke up "Alfred, what's the deal-eo?"

"The deal-eo sir, is there's two reporters in the living room, claiming they know you-or at least one of them does."

"Oh joy." Trent slipped on his favorite suit, and tiringly walked down towards the living room putting on a not-as-tired face. He was surprised to see one face looking right at him

"Master Trent it is my honor to intriduce Miss Lois-"

"Lois Lane." Trent finished looking less tired. He approached the dark haired woman

"Hey there hot shot." she gave him a hug

"I haven't seen you in ages, how are things, what brings you to Gotham?"

"Things are good, I'm in town with the Daily Planet to do some press shtuff on Scorsese's new movie with Kate Beckinsale, Neil Patrick Harris, Matt Damon and Beyonce, so I thought, I'd pay my favorite billionaire a visit."

"Well maybe later you and I can visit the set and-"

"Ah-hem." Trent turned to see a large man with short dark hair and glasses sitting close to Lois giving Trent THAT look.

"Oh Trent, this is my reporting partner and boyfriend Clark Kent." Trent's smile faded

"Mr. Wayne." Clark said offering his hand and a calm smile.

"Pleased to meet you."

Over at the recording studio for Celebrity Manhunt Blaineley's boss called her into his office, the middle aged portly gentleman clearly wasn't amused.

"Hagen! My office! Now!" he ordered

"Yes sir Mr. Yoglizio." what a name that is. She sat down.

"What have I told you about sneaking into people's houses Hagen?"

"What? How did you even know, I did that this morning!"

"You don't think there's a paparazzi watching Mr. Wayne's every move?" Clearly not "The point is, we know, and I can't have this happening again Hagen!"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying you're fired! You're finished! Done! Poof! Vinito! La fin! Over! Canceled! blacked out! In the red!"

"WHAT!" she stood up enraged "You can't fire me Mr. Yoggo!"

"Yoglizio-"

"Whatever! Have you forgotten who I am?"

"Me? No. But the viewers sure have!"

"What?" she asked confused

"Ah I was planning on firing you next week anyway Hagen. Your ratings are in the toilet! You're getting old! The network wants someone with a young fresh face! And that's something you just don't got anymore! Got it?"

"What? But that's not fair!"

"Life's not fair Hagen. Now get out of here before I call security." Near to tears Blaineley got the few things from her desk and ran out of the building.

After a walk through the city Blaineley was still very depressed. She was passing a TV store with a ton of Televisions blaring Gotham Insider. Hosted by Summer

"_And recently let go from Celebrity Manhunt for trespassing into the home of Trent Wayne, Blaineley Hagen offered no comment-"_

"Grrrr! I'll show you no comment you-you, no talent hack!" she launched a garbage bin at the window, smashing every on display TV.

"Hey-HEY!" the store manager yelled from inside

"You gotta pay for those!"

"Oh, you're the one whose gonna pay! Everyone's gonna pay once I-"

"Hey-hey, people there's no need to fight." a middle aged man said stepping out of his black limousine "I'll pay for the TV's, will this cover it?" he brought out a lot of cash.

"Well sure, thanks."

"Uh you, come with me." he opened the door to the limo. "Well don't be shy." Blaineley shrugged, and entered. "Let's go." he ordered the driver.

"So, thanks for the lift but; who are you?"

"The names Daggett, Roland Daggett, I'm a small time Industrialist in Gotham."

"Never heard of you."

"Well be that as it may, on the flipside, I most certainly have heard of you Miss Hagen."

"Have you?"

"Yes, I watch Celebrity Manhunt all the time, and I disagree with that schnook Yoglizio, you're gorgeous." Blaineley blushed

"Oh, thanks."

"Don't mention it, though; the rest of the world seems to have forgotten just how Blainerific you are."

"Ha, tell me about it."

"Which is why I'm here to offer you, a solution." from his coat pocket, he took out a small canister. "I call it Renew-U, it's a rejuvenating mud mask. It'll actually take 10-15, maybe even 20 years off your face."

"Really, I'll take it! How much?"

"Nothing-but, I have a deal for you." he smirked

"Sure, anything."

"That mud is forged from the radioactive Ukrainian ghost town of Chernobyl. The stuff in there will change you so much."

"Eh, I'm worth it, what's your scheme?"

"You wanna get back at the people who hurt you, and prove to the world just how Blainerific you truly are?"

"Yeah of course."

"Good, so in using the mask, you agree to be my number 1 go-to-henchgirl for my schemes and such." this will be more prevalent in the spinoff.

"Eh, still worth it."

"Good, now remember I warned you." he turned to one of his bodyguards "You can prove that I warned her right?"

"Twice boss."

"Good, alright..go for it Hagen."

"Sweetness." she lathered herself in the radioactive goop. Almost immediately she changed "What the-what-what-WHAT'S HAPPENING!" she felt as though her body was melting.

"Then it's working! You see, it changes your bodies molecular structure, so you're almost claylike...you can change yourself into literally anyone."

"What about a younger me?"

"Easy, just think and stretch. Go on, give it a try."

"Alright." Blaineley tugged on herself, and looked into her mini mirror "Gasp! Wow, I look like I'm 18 again! Wait...now I know how to get back at that fat fool! While taking advantage of other things."

"Good, what do you need from me?"

"An abandoned game show studio, and working equipment...oh, and a van."

"I'll even throw in some missiles."

"Perfect." she smirked

Trent was driving Lois and Clark to the filming set, Lois sat shotgun, of course

"Gee thanks for driving Clark and I to the set Trent."

"Don't mention it." Trent looked in his rearview "So Clark, how long have you and Lois known each ot-been a reporter-how long have you been a reporter?"

"Oh for some time now, I figured it'd be a fun career choice considering I grew up in a small town."

"Smallville Kansas." Lois informed the billionaire.

"Oh. Well here's the set-and hey, maybe I can take you out-both out, to dinner tonight."

"Well that would be wonderful!"

"Yes thanks Mr. Wayne."

"Please, call me Trent." just as he was going to drop them both off they noticed something amiss, many people were running away from the set.

"What in the world?" Lois asked

"Stay here!" both men ordered. Trent ran to change in an ally, Clark ran for a different ally. Before Trent could change however, he was socked in the face with some mud.

"Gah!" he fell on his back. A big burly security guard, carried Lois in his arms. The guard was none other than Blaineley.

"Thanks for making it so easy Mr. Wayne."

"Who are you? And why are you doing this?" Lois asked

"A simple reason really." she morphed back to herself. "I wanted revenge."

"What the-Blaineley Hagen?"

"Not anymore cupcake...call me..Clayface." she packed them both up in a van with a few other familiar faces. And drove away. Just before America's Favorite son came flying in.

"Lois!" Superman saw the van drive away.

"Oh no."

**To Be Continued...PIZZA**


	168. Clay Facial, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"Wakey-wakey."

"Huh...hmm...what? Huh? What the? Where am I?" Trent asked after waking up and realizing he was tied up in a chair.

"You're on my show now Trent Wayne. Ha-ha, bout time you woke up, you've been asleep for nearly four hours, what's the matter, long night of nailing some poor desperate tramp?" Clayface fumed.

"...I had a long night." Trent said dryly.

"Hmm-hmm, I'm sure."

"Alright Hagen, what's your game?" Trent asked

"My game Mr. Wayne, why; your on it!" she cheered "Lights! Camera! Action!"

When the huge lights turned on Trent realized he was on a stage facing a cardboard studio audience. Though in the command box across the room he could see several actual people inside, who were Daggett and a few of his henchmen. Trent also noticed he was surrounded by a few other people tied to chairs, one of whom being Lois, a sleepy mayor Hill (Hmm, I wonder why? Oh wait cause Trent has no clue-HA!) also there was Ferris Boyle for some reason, and four famous celebrities we all know, love, and enjoy.

"Mayor?"

"Zzzzzzzzzz."

"Lois?"

"Oh, hey sleepy head."

"Boyle." Trent sneered

"Yeah-yeah rich boy-I'm not happy about this either, but hey; how lucky are we to be in the presence of such great acting talents! Straight from Scorsese's latest blockbuster!"

"Huh? Neil Patrick Harris?"

"Will someone please call the police?" He asked nervously.

"Beyonce. Hey, it's been awhile."

"Hey Trent, how's life?"

"Oh, been better...Matt Damon?"

"What's good brother?"

"Kate Beckinsale?"

"Heyyyy." Trent turned his attention back to Clayface.

"Okay, so you've kidnapped a few...very influential people in various and different ways, and placed us on an abandoned game show set...what now?" Trent asked. Clayface approached a Jay Leno talk show host desk. "You are all going to be on my NEW show which I like to call: "It's a Blainerific World!" Fetching dontcha think-"

"Like tooth decay you botox psychopath!" Ferris blared

"Ignoring that." Clayface sneered "Have you all noticed my new and awesome abilities, hmm?" suddenly she transformed herself to look like a Japanese game show hostess "Pretty cool huh?"

"Hagen, what did you do to yourself?" Trent asked

"A little facial therapy...and it's not Hagen anymore rich boy...It's Clayface now!"

"So lemme get this straight." Matt began "Your forcing us to be guests on your little talkie talk show?"

"Yeah pretty much, just to show the world just how awesome I am...and this is going out to Gotham live right now!" she pointed to the cameras "And if you try to escape, or should anyone try and rescue you...they will find a very...shocking surprise-hmm-hmm-hmm."

"You are a sh*t host!" Matt yelled

"Oh hush! Oh right, whose ready to go first? Hmm?" she asked Neil shrugged

"Sigh, what the hell."

"Alright. Welcome everyone to It's a Blainerific World! I'm your host Blaineley "Clayface" Hagen!" she cheered changing back to herself. "We got a real treat for you all tonight! So many special guests-"

"Boooooo! Boooooooo! You suck!" Ferris yelled

"Erg, you know what! You're going first!" she angrily sat at her desk "Our first guest comes to us from Arkham Asylum, you may know him as the Gray Goblin, or that guy who likes to pick fights with bikers, and read his wallet a bedtime story before bed! Here he is, Ferris Boyle!" she clicked the applause button on a remote. "Thanks for being here today Ferris."

"Eat a dick you middle aged wench!"

"Oh ha-ha, isn't he charming." she sneered teeth a grit. "So Ferris-"

"Pfft."

"Erg so Ferris-"

"Pfft."

"Boyle-"

"Pfft!"

"KNOCK IT OFF!" she clicked another button on the remote which shocked him

"YAAAH!"

"Now...where were we...So Ferris, please tell the audience what you love most-were all dying to know."

"Oh you mean the landfill right next to us with faces on them?"

"Errrrg!"

"Oh alright, I have two loves compost audience...I truly love my money."

"Figures." Trent rolled his eyes

"And my dear sweet Harleen Quinzel-oh I just love her cooky mannerisms, her adorable pigtails, even the way she snores when having a narcoleptic attack is just sweet and soothing."

"Awwwwwwwwwwww."

"Boring! That's not substance!"

"It's the truth!"

"The boring truth-"

"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" Matt yelled "Sorry."

"Enough! Alright Neil onto you."

"Oh joy."

Up high in the rafters was Superman watching the whole situation. He didn't want to spook anyone so he kept quiet as a Batman.

"Alright, there's gotta be an easier way to muck up Clayface's show...but what?" he pondered. He used his x-ray vision to see through some walls, looking into the command room he saw Daggett and his men. The industrialist was about to leave.

"Alright boys you seem to have everything handled well here, I gotta get to a meeting across town."

"Yes sir Mr. Daggett." he left the room

"Hmm, there's a good bet." Superman smirked

And now we cutscene to the command room where Daggett's men were controlling the broadcast, while getting pretty lax about it.

"Well this might be one of the easiest jobs in the freakin world."

"I know, alls we gotta do is sit here and watch her slap a few celebs around."

"And since the old fart ain't here we can-[smash]" Superman smashed right through the ceiling

"Gasp!"

"What in the?"

"Superman!"

"Afternoon gents...who's first?" the man of steel asked

Back on the stage.

"Well thanks Kate, I'm sure everyone can benefit from that story."

"Yeah, whatever." Clayface then turned her attention to a sleepy mayor Hill.

"Wakey wakey mayor."

"Zzzzzzzzzzzz."

"hmm, wonder what's been keeping him up?" Trent pondered.

"Mayor, oh mayor...WAKE UP!"

"Huh-what? What the? … Hey it's Beyonce!"

"Heyyyyyyyyyy."

"Enough!"

"Blaineley Hagen...this another party?"

"No, and it's Clayface now!"

"Wh-why-"

"DON'T ASK!" everyone else yelled

"Please!"

"Oh-okay then." And now back to the carnage inside the command room.

"Gah-oof-aiee!"

"No not in the f-ow!"

"Have you guys had enough!" Superman asked

"Not quite Superboy!"

"Yeah were just getting star-ow." one guy threw out his back in trying to get up.

"Yeah Super steel man, if you think were just gonna up and quit,you got another thing coming mothaf-[crash]"

Someone crashed through one of the walls and knocked out the last guy standing...standing well.

"Well that's one way to do it-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Creeper chuckled...HE'S BACK LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

"And uh...you are?"

"Whoa, I can't believe it, I'm freakin face to face with Superman! Ha-ha, ah what a good day this is, but me...They call me...Yellow skinned-ah what's the use, Creeper's the name, put it here!" Superman was reluctant to shake his hand.

"Okay, well you're obviously here to help, aren't you?"

"Yup, I'm not a fan of miss Hagen over there. Shes irksome, annoying, and wears more make-up than Harley Quinn-my sweet little sugarplum."

"So uh...you got a plan?" Superman asked

"Plan...plan-plan-plan-plan...oh yeah, let's turn off these lights and follow my lead."

"Alright."

. . .

"So, last but not least on our show we have-what?" the lights faded...both Batman had similar ideas.

"Nows my chance!"

"Will someone get those lights on-thank you-GASP!" when the lights came back on Clayface saw that all her captives had escaped, and she was surrounded by two Batmen, Creeper and Superman, everyone else stood in the stands.

"Yeah!"

"Let's go good guys!"

"Come on bats I got a lotta money riding on you!"

"Superman-Creeper...and you two!"

"It's over Clayface" Superman said

"You're annoying reign over the television will be no more!"

"That's what you think!" she morphed into a monster being, which is Clayface's natural form, she grew four arms instantly and plunged all four into walls with the clay hands, crushing them.

"Erg!"

"I didn't expect this!"

"I don't think we can get out of this one!" V-Bat strugged

"Or can we." Batman looked up at the sprinklers above "Superman! Can you shoot the sprinklers with your eyes?"

"I can try!" he looked at the sprinklers and aimed.

"What? No!" water sprang down, the molecules separating Clayface, melting her down. She melted down into a puddle, when reformed, she transformed right back into an injured Blaineley."

"Well, I guess it's over."

Outside Blaineley was put into a SWAT van, not a word was said.

"Well Creeper you pulled through again...I uh, guess you uh...forgot about the patch?" Batman asked

"Oh yeah...uh...about those-ha-ha-ha, whoops, mother's calling! Until next time!" Creeper darted away.

"That is one weird guy...well, I gotta head out as well. Always a pleasure Batman." V-Bat said launching a hook to another building. Batman turned to Superman.

"Thanks."

"Hey don't worry about it, it's what I do...you would do the same for me."

"Thanks...oh Clark."

"Huh?" he asked surprised

"Your S was showing...just take good care of Lois will ya?"

"Sure thing...Trent."

"You peeked."

"I guessed. I'll be seeing ya." he flew over to Lois waiting by a police car. Batman turned his attention over to the celebrities he saved

"Bats, you are the best!"

"Well it was no problem."

"no seriously dude, if you're ever in our neck of the woods, look us up!"

"No problem." they drove away in their limo.

"Alright, with that said...I need some rest." he yawned.

Daggett was in his own limo watching the situation from a far distance...meeting my ass.

"She may have failed...but with so many supers at once who could blame...I'll give her another try...provided she doesn't fail me again-driver, home."

"Yes sir Mr. Daggett."

**The End...?**

**IMPORTANT: On this day last year, I updated the kissing killers 2: Terror Cruise...and I am just at a loss to move on. I got this, other more prominent works, and a spinoff, plus College is starring me down like a hungry wolf. So, I am going to let YOU, aspiring author's out there, to take control of the KKII: TC, it's up for grabs, write it, finish it, make it look nice. Please, inquire within to see if YOU have what it takes. Reviews are nice too, Ventriloquist and Sadieface are up next, enjoy! **

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Carla Collins: **Blaineley Hagen/Clayface

**Ed Asner: **Roland Daggett

**Tim Daly: **Clark Kent/Superman

**Dana Dalaney: **Lois Lane

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill/V-Bat

**Mark Hamill: **Ferris Boyle

**Jeff Bennett: **Jack Ryder/The Creeper, Store Clerk

**Maurice LaMarche: **Mr. Zoglizio, guard

**Dorian Harewood: **guard, additional voices

**Billy West: **guard, additional voices

_**Special Guest Appearance...**_

**Neil Patrick Harris**

**Kate Beckinsale**

**Beyonce**

**Matt Damon **


	169. BFFFL Breakdown, Part I

**Villain(s): The Ventriloquist&Sadieface, Riddler, The Mad Hatter**

**Episode Archive: Bing-bong!**

**Story By: Sparkling-Nexis137**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Alan Burnett**

**Teleplay By: Brynne Stevens&Jean MacCurdy**

**Art Direction: Ted Blackman&Bruce Timm **

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 82: BFFFL Breakdown**

"I can't believe you messed up a simple job dummy!"

"Me! You're the puppet!" Ventriloquist shouted

"Exactly! So whenever something goes wrong, it's your fault dummy!"

"First off, you're the dummy, where do you get off calling me what you are?"

"Since you started messing up! We could have been rich Katie! Now were walking away with a broken car, and three bags of money sitting around by a bank!"

"You told me to leave the bags to look for the cops!"

"Well...you should know when I do something stupid! You're supposed to be the brains!"

"Are you listening to yourself! You're the brains! I just offer you a hand every now and then!"

"Well you're the human aren't ya, apparently I'm just a puppet!"

"YOU ARE A PUPPET!"

"So this is your fault then!"

"But you...I-er...you...GAH!"

"That's what I thought, so just admit it that it's your fault and we can-"

"No!"

"I-I'm sorry what?"

"I said no!"

"Why you little-"

"NO! I control you Sadieface!" she threw the puppet against the couch "When no one wanted you at that damn puppeteer store, I took you! I treated you like a sister! Whenever you were burned, chopped up, shot at or dropped from tall buildings, who revived you, who rebuilt you? ME!" she was near to tears.

"Blah-blah-blah. I controlled you! Open your eyes...whose the real crook-who's the real villain here? Me! You were just a second wheel!"

"What! Are you saying I'm a lousy villain?"

"Of course dummy! Geez I thought you went to College!"

"I did!" she was sobbing now

"Well now Miss Rhodes Scholar, if you're so edumacated, why were you going around robbing puppet shops and taking orders from a glorified block of wood, huh? Whose the smart one?"

"Well-er-uh...uh...-"

"ME! That's who! So why don't we just forget about this, and go back to the way things were, savvy?"

"NO! I'm through with you controlling me! I'm my own person I'm in control, without me, without a human, you're nothing!" she spat

"Oh sure...I'll bet you I'm a way better villain...hell I could even pull off my own heist without your help!"

"Ha! I'll bet ya one! I can pull my own heist and make it look easy without your brains!"

"Oh suuuuuuuuure, you could barely pull off a simple burglary, I on the other hand-"

"That's it! You need a hand! Which you can't have cause I'm taking all our hands with me-MUGSY RHINO!"

"Yes boss?"

"Were leaving, NOOOOW!"

"Okay!"

"See ya around you-you...LOG!" she slammed the door on her way out, with her mismatched henchmen.

"So, she thinks she can do it herself eh...well shes wrong."

And that ladies and gentlemen was The Ventriloquist's and Sadieface's first real fight, the fight that broke them apart, and the fight that might tear Gotham apart. BUT, you know all these end in some semblance of a happy ending, they got to!

So, here we are the next day, Alfred was jamming out to some Mozart in the Bat-Cave. He found a good and peaceful place to relax...which is odd as it is a cave. Anyway, through the midst of his classical enjoyment, he heard the faint moans and slobbery noises nearby.

"What the deuce?" he asked turning around in the computer chair.

"Mhmnmhmnmhm."

"Is that damn water heater on the fritz again, I swear this cave has more problems..." he groaned looking in search of the noise. Behind the holographic table was Cody and Sara, canoodling.

"Ahem." the two stopped the slopfest briefly.

"Oh, hey buddy."

"Hey buddy?" Alfred asked in disbelief

"He's right Cody, the proper terminology is hello buddy."

"No you two, I didn't mean it in that sense...what I mean is-can't you two relocate to a more suitable location for face sucking, hmm?"

"Why not?" Sara asked

"Yeah Alfred, the cave is perfect for love ma-I mean face sucking and NOTHING else." Cody explained saving himself.

"Ugh." the Butler groaned

"Besides, Cody and I find that Mozart is exceptional and soothing music when it comes to cuddle time, isn't that right Codykins?"

"You bet Sara-blossom."

"Oh dear lord-and here I thought children these days hated classical music, I guess my prayers about today's youth getting in touch with classical roots came true after all." he sighed and approached the chair again.

"Anyway Alfred, where's Trent?"

"Work I believe, there was supposed to be some huge business proposal with Six Flags, apparently they want Wayne Enterprises to fund and design a roller coaster project for their park in Jackson New Jersey." Home of Kingda Ka! Still the tallest and second fastest coaster in the world!

"Wait, the old man...design a roller coaster?" Cody asked with a forced chuckle.

"I can assure Master Geoffrey is being cut a big bonus for some creative assistance."

"Trent needs more than assistance Alfred...he needs a new brain!"

"Cody's right Alfred, I mean, have you heard his guitar playing?"

"With his life, who has the time...oh yes, you just reminded me of something kids."

"What?" Alfred got out a box he kept hidden in a secret compartment under the cave floor., taking it out they saw it was his mangled and destroyed guitar.

"Miss Rhinehart, would you be so kind as to dispose of this please, I'm sure you'll find some weird and creative way."

"Uh sure...no problem Alfred." she said confused and sheepishly

"Good show, thank you."

"Alfred...is that..."

"WAS Master Trent's guitar."

"What the hell it looks like it's been through a wood chipper." Cody said

"Indeed it has."

"Alfred, out of all the nice things we have, a wood chipper is not one of them." Cody insisted, he briefly looked around the attached garage.

"Oh we do now."

"Wait...didn't granddaddy Tom give this to him when he was like 2?" Cody asked

"No, that's the one on display he never touches...and if you touch it, he might actually kill you." Alfred warned

"Okay, not touching that." Sara agreed

"Anyway, were gonna go patrolling now." Cody said shyly, he and Sara got dressed.

"Alright then-oh yes, and I'm warning the three of you right now, should you ever decide to make love here again you will be sorely mistaken...cause last time, Master Trent was on the guitar."

"WHAT!

"Ohhhhhhhhhh!"

"Oh, why Alfred!"

"You're too young! That's why!"

"Oh fine."

"Whatever Mr. Killjoy, were heading out." Cody started up the engine to the Batmobile.

"God be with you in your quest, ta-ta!" the two took off, and Alfred got back to his classical crap.

"Ah, finally."

Over to Wayne Enterprises, as were in the beginning of the second act, and our titular character has not made any semblance of an appearance yet. Trent, Geoff, and the Wayne board were coming up with ideas for the new super roller coaster...thing...work in progress.

"Alright people, we've been at it for hours and were still at nada-need I remind you, the fine folks at Six Flags didn't choose any other coaster company, they chose us, now the question is, what can we build, that they don't have? Henderson go!"

"Uh...something...like-"

"Took too long, DiCenzo, wow me!"

"Well sir, what we need...are loops."

"Good, loops are good, now what else?"

"Uh...that's it so far sir."

"Okay loops are a good start, Wilkins, whatcha got?"

"Uh...er..."

"You bored me...Geoff what about-"

"Zzzzzzzzzz." he was asleep at his desk

"Figures." Suddenly, Lucius entered.

"Mr. Wayne, a moment please, it's uh, kinda private."

"Were kinda busy at the moment Lucius."

"It's uh...very important." he winked

"Oh...yeah-yeah-yeah, take five everyone." the other members left, leaving Lucius, Geoff and Trent alone. Lucius put a silver suitcase on the table

"Wait'll you see what I got today."

"Wow me."

And now for the clincher...Mad Hatter returned to his new penthouse he sniped from the landlord lickedy split. It was dark.

"Ah, another great day of being me...and now I can relax and rewind with some of my Alice and wonder-[click]-GAH!"

he turned on the lights, and there sitting on HIS couch, was Sadieface.

"Sadieface?"

"Hey dummy how ya doing?"

"...Okay, I guess."

"Wanna make this city ours?"

"Uh...sure I'm free tonight."

"Good, gimme a hand will ya."

"Uh...okay." . . . "So, what's the plan?"

"You'll see, but it'll be so good, it'll knock the dummy's plan straight outta the water!"

And for Katie, she was at Noah's apartment he used when he worked for Infinityward, sobbing.

"I can't believe she said all those horrible things to me!"

"There-there Kate, I'm sure thing's will work out for the-"

"Oh everyone says that! I just need a full proof plan to prove I'm way better than that piece of wood!" she sneered "Noah will you help me?"

"Sigh, well I was going on a blind date tonight and-"

"Oh please, is she hotter than this?" she asked pointing to herself

"Huh...point taken."

"Think of a plan, and I'm all yours tonight-"

"You had me at think...and I got just the plan."

"Good-"

"Hey boss?"

"Can we come i-"

"GET OUT!" she yelled at her henchboys

"Okay-okay."

"Whatever you say boss!"

"Morons!" she turned back to Noah "So, you're plan?"

"Gimme 2 hours."

"You got 30 minutes." ...or less

"I only need 15?"

"Wait...but you said-"

"Just shut up and make yourself less clothed!"

"Got it."

"Not to worry Kate, I'll make you the better villain than Sadieface...somehow."

**To Be continued...reviews are nice-JUST LIKE PUPPIES!**


	170. BFFFL Breakdown, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Trent looked over all the cool stuff Lucius laid out on the table, it was all very impressive.

"Not bad Lucius." Trent said picking up a new Batarang.

"That's the new carbon fiber Batarang's I've been working on. Sharper edges, but won't damage skin when thrown, plus their more aerodynamic so they'll glide nice and smooth."

"Incredible. What else you got?"

"This, their knockout pellets, they release a knockout gas that'll make the rogues say nighty night."

"Yes...and what about this?"

"Ah yes, I perfected the Forget-Me-Bat spray."

"Good! Something we really needed.

"Oh, and of course, you'll need these." he gave Trent a pair of keys.

"Huh, what's this to Lucius."

"Earl made a new wing." Lucius smirked

"YES! HE DID!"

"You bet, faster, sleaker, stealthier, more weapons!"

"YES! YES! YES!" suddenly Geoff woke up

"Huh...what happened?"

"New Wing that's what!" he said giggling the keys in front of his face "Where is it Lucius?"

"Earl's dropping it off at the cave, should be there tonight."

"Excellent, well then better give these babies a little test run." he grabbed all the goodies.

"Hey, what about me?" Geoff asked

"Oh you and Lucius have the best job of all."

"Which is?" Geoff asked excited

"Coming up with a coaster design with the board members."

"Ugggggggh!"

"I'll feel like that every damn day."

Back to Katie, who had just gotten some with Riddler...all off camera, he was about to show her the new creation he was working on.

"So, what do you got?" she asked

"Well Kate this is what I was working on-a-shaz-am!" he showed her what looked like a nice robotic puppet.

"Wow, so sleek...so shiny...what is it?"

"It's a puppet."

"I know that, what's it's name?" she asked.

"Oh, I call it, the Not-Sadieface-giant-robo-puppet-mach-5...or the NSGRPM-5. Or N."

"Yeah I like N."

"Good."

"What can I do?"

"It's a transformable weapon, with three different voices, happy, sad, and angry. Watch."

"Hi ya."

"sob-sob hi ya."

"HI YA!"

"Gasp...I LOVE IT!"

"Good, so what are ya gonna do now?" Riddler asked

"I'm-a going on a crime spree, that'll show that wretch Sadieface I'm a force to be reckoned with!"

"Well you'll work wonders with that, now if you'll excuse me, I got some more riddles to make up." he said sitting on his bed

"Cooleo...oh yes, one question though?"

"What is it?"

"Why do you wear your Riddler outfit during sex?"

"Uh...it...makes me...feel...good?"

". . .Oh, alright then, thanks for telling me. Come N."

"Yes boss." the robot followed her out.

"Ah...what a sweet ass shes got."

"Heard that!"

"Damn."

. . .

"Zzzzzzzzzzzz."

"Zzzzzz." Mugsy and Rhino were asleep just outside the apartment.

"Wake up yous mugs, it's time to go a robbing."

"Yaaaaawn, yes sir boss."

"You got it boss."

Just outside the police station, Hatter was in his van with Sadieface. They were going over the plan.

"So...we just go in guns a blazing, and you shoot them fancy little cards to their ears, got it?"

"Yeah sounds easy enough." Hatter shrugged and held the puppet.

"Good, oh and one more thing Harold."

"Yes?"

"One more...ONE MORE Alice in Wonderland reference I'll give you a splinter so bad you're grand kids will cry about it! Comprende!"

"Yes ma'am, sir."

"Good."

Inside said police place, Chris Gordon was having a conference with Gil Mason.

"Alright Gil what have your departments accomplished in the passed few weeks?" he asked

"Well you know...stuff and such." Gil said nonchalantly not looking at Chris

"What's up with you man, your mind seems elsewhere bro."

"Well, you see boss, it's these girl troubles I've been hav-"

"Stop right there, you're boring me."

"Yes sir, sorry sir-[pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop]"

"AHHHHHHH!"

"Holy sh*t!"

"The hell?" the duo noticed the commotion outside the office

"Sounds like a bb gun going off or something?" Gil thought

"Not this guessing sh*t again Mason! Just Shh!" Chris ordered

"Yes sir sorry si-"

"SHH!" they quietly opened the door, outside each officer including our TD detectives, were under Hatter's mind control spell.

"Alright yous mugs listen up, we got a lot of ground to cover, and were burning daylight understand!"

"YES MASTER."

"Good!" they closed the door.

"Oh boy."

"Wait-wait-wait-wait...wait, Hatter and Sadieface...together?" Gil asked

"I'll be the first to admit this is peculiar, that's why I'm letting you know who in on the act, I have him on speed dial." Chris winked than went for a special com link. "Batman...Batman come in, over."

"_what's wrong Commissioner?"_

"Problem at the station, Sadieface and Hatter, no sign of the Ventriloquist...over."

"_What?"_

"I know it's weird, just get here as soon as you can...over."

"_On my way, out."_

Robin and Sara were driving about when they drove passed a store front getting robbed, and noticed people running amuck. The robot, Ventriloquist, Mugsy, and Rhino were robbing a store at once, on the same street, it was a nightmare.

"Yup, this day just got weirder." Exterminator sighed

"Tell me about it."

"2 on 2?"

"Your call baby cakes."

"Alright let's do it." they emerged from the Batmobile, Robin was insistent on taking on the Ventriloquist and N, whereas Ex turned to the henchmen.

"The jig is up Ventriloquist!"

"Oh jeez, the sidekick, just who I wanted to see." she frowned.

"Hey-hey, I'm not just any old sidekick, I'm THE sidekick!"

"Yeah whatever, I'm not letting you get in my way Bird Boy! I got a bet to complete!"

"Which begs the question? Where's your little buddy?"

"Oh we had a little tiff, long story short, were not together anymore! Which is why I'm trying to prove I'm the better villain!"

"Well no sh*t Sherlock your competition is a hunk of wood!"

"That's what I said!" she screamed "But never the less, you still have to be dealt with, SICK HIM N!"

"N?" Robin asked in disbelief.

CRASSSSSSSSSH CRUMBLE-DETERIORATING NOISES!

"Oh, that's N." Robin gazed at the now huge fighting Robot that burst through from the next store over. The angered robot drew guns

"EAT LEAD BOY BLUNDER!" then he changed to sad

"WAAAAH! It's such a shame it had to end this way!" then back to normal.

"But, now you must die."

"Personality disorder much?" Robin asked

"HEY! He's a quality piece of machinery! Not sick him boy!"

"Whatever you say." his arms transformed into guns, then he got andry again "NOW LET'S DO THIS!"

"Oh boy, I'll need a lot of Batarangs!" Robin did a quick few back flips out of the store while N fired all guns a blazing!

"OH! WHY CAN'T I HIT HIM!" now to sad

"Even though I'm trying my beeeeeest!"

"Oh Shut up and shoot you bipolar bucket of bolts!" Ventriloquist ordered

"YES SIR!" hey there's angry.

"Why don't you eat what I got!" he tossed a few Batarangs at it's head no effect

"Ha, that all you got?" N asked

"You'll have to do better than that!" Ventriloquist smirked

"Oh really, how bout this!"

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA!" Rhino suddenly became a projectile being launched right at the robot, he crashed right into it, burtsting it to pieces!

"NO! My awesome fighting robot!"

"No don't worry about me boss I'm fine." Rhino groaned sarcastically.

"Ah shut-up you big lug."

"Yes sir." Ex, brought over an apprehended Mugsy.

"Okay-okay I'm going I'm going, jeesh!" sirens approached.

"The games up Wesker!"

"No! I gotta prove to that hunk of splinters that I'm just as good a villain as she! You're not taking me back to Arkham!" she yelled running away. Robin tossed two bat bolos, bounding herself, she hit the pavement

"Oof! NO FAIR!"

Back at the police Batman was ready to swing into the main office room across the street, he just had to wait for the perfect moment.

"Okay, just come into view...come into view...there it is!" he saw Hatter and Sadieface in view of the window. he swung towards it.

. . .

"Alright yous mugs, thanks to Hat over here, you're all my willing slaves, so make yourselves useful and help me take over this town to prove to the dummy I'm the better villain! Got it!"

"Yes boss."

"Ah, like little zombies." Hatter said soothingly

"Yeah Hat ain't it gre-[SMASH]"

CRAZY CARTOON SLOW MOTION SCENE!

Batman swung in, he simultaneously kicked Hatter in DA FACE, while grabbing Sadieface, as he headed for the nearest wall, he landed the dismount, and crushed the evil puppet right into the Spackle and dry wall. Crushing it. Sadieface managed o utter a few final words.

"No...you can't! I can't let...the dummy...win...I'm...the better...vill...vill...dummy. I'm the dummy." she faded away, and then her head became decapitated from the pressure.

"What, they had a fight is that what this is about?" Batman asked Hatter

"Yeah, something like that." he groaned in pain.

"Oh man...I hope Robin was able to deal with the Ventriloquist, now for these zombies." he took out a new Batarang, and swung it at the zombies ears, it's smooth maneuverability cut every card up, moving from one officer to the next, then back to Batman. "Oh these are great."

"What?"

"What happened?"

"That felt weird." Chris and Gil emerged guns drawn from the office, as if something was still amiss.

"FREEZE!"

"GPD MUTHAF*CKA! . . . What?"

"Oh, he got the message."

"Yeah, and I'll be taking these momentos with me." Batman said grabbing the Sadieface head, and a fading out Hatter.

Outside the SWAT van containing Ventriloquist and her two cothwarts pulled up, and Batman placed Hatter inside.

"These are for Arkham as well." he said. He turned to the Ventriloquist "Katie, I uh...have some bad news."

"What?"

"This...is all that remains." he handed her the head

"Whatever."

"Look uh...she uh...said some stuff." Batman said awkwardly rubbing the back of his head

"Like what?"

"Stuff like how she missed you and was sorry and junk."

"R-Really?"

"Oh yeah, totally."

"Oh." she hugged the wood head...gross. "I'll rebuild her again, but make her a little bit nicer!"

"You do that."

"Thanks Batman."

"Don't mention it." he turned around "Seriously, don't mention it." he left the wagon to see a smirking Ex and Robin "What?"

"You can be very diplomatic and heartfelt when you choose to be." Robin said

"Yeah yeah, zip it and let's go home."

The three returned to the Bat-Cave, Geoff was busy doodling plans at a table.

"No...no...NO that sucks!"

"Taking your work home are we?" Trent asked uncowling himself.

"F*ck you man! It's hard!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha, I'll be with you in a moment."

"Ah Master Trent. How did it go?"

"Pretty goodAlfred...quick question though, when did we get a wood chipper?"

"Uh..Ebay?"

"Ah, right I bet you sniped it from some poor sucker in Scandinavia."

"Yes sir...of course." he sighed of relief.

"Alright, nothing inspires creativity like some music, Alfred, where's my guitar."

"Uh...not sure sir, but I'm sure it will turn up...eventually." he winked at the odd couple.

**The End**

**Alright all you cool cats, I've decided to debut Mother of Mayhem next, then Booquet, then Stardoom, that's the new order, capice? Good, review, stay in school, read, be merry, and enjoy life! I know I do! Alright, PEACE!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Rhinehart/The Exterminator

**David McCallum: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Katie Wesker/The Ventriloquist

**Lauren Lipson: **Sadieface

**Daran Norris: **Rhino, Wayne Board member

**Carlos Alazraqui: **Mugsy

**Carter Hayden: **Noah Nygma/Riddler

**Brian Froud: **Harold Tetch/Mad Hatter

**Morgan Freeman: **Lucius Fox

**Rob Paulsen: **Asst. Commissioner Gil Mason, Sad N

**David Kaufman: **N, additional voices

**John DiMaggio: **Angry N, additional voices

**April Winchell: **additional voices

**Grey DeLisle: **Wayne Board Member


	171. Mother of Mayhem, Part I

**Villain: Bane**

**Episode Archive: CUMMINS! (What a fine engine)**

**Story By: Sparkling-Nexis137**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Dan Riba**

**Teleplay By: Tom Ruegger&Butch Hartman**

**Art Direction: Ronnie Del Carmen&Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 83: Mother of Mayhem.**

DJ was at his new evil lair (A modest highrise condominium in East Gotham) juggling the two things he does best...cooking...and weight lifting.

"45...46...4..7...48...4...9...50!" he racked his bench press...of 335lbs. DING "Yes! My deviled eggs are done!" Wasn't a manly word in that last sentence. Anyway Bane sniffed his eggs. "Ah, fresh." he placed them on the counter. And then checked his agenda.

"Alright, let's see here...killed him...killed...him...oops, gotta kill him...gotta collect my money from him for killing him..." he closed the book "Well, got another solid week ahead of me." he whistled as he sharpened some knives...the only weapons he uses other than brute strength. He then noticed his mail come through the slot...twas the only building that actually hand delivered you your mail.

"Thanks mailman!" he skimmed through the pile of envelopes. "Let's see here...bill...bill...jury duty-ooh, a trial for Harleen...yeah that's worth a day in court...bill...bill...tax refund-yesssss! ...bill...bill...oh great, the new assassins monthly...bill...bi-OOOH a letter from Momma!" DJ was enthralled to open that letter "Alright, let's see here-[sniiiiiiiiiiffff]-ahhh, smells like Momma...

_Dear Devon Joseph,_

_Hi shmoopsey-poo I just wanted to let you know that I'll be visiting Gotham on business to check up on you, I was so thrilled to find out you have been rehabilitated and are now a world renown superhero that I just had to see this for myself! Well, I should be in Gotham by sometime tomorrow, I can't wait to see you shmoopsey-poo, Love,_

_Mamma._

3...2...1...

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" there it is "Dammit! Why-oh-why did I tell mamma I'm a freaking crime fighter who fights a bat themed villain! WHEN IT'S THE EXACT OPPOSITE!" he sat on his bench "Aw man, if there's one thing mamma hates, it's a liar, sigh, looks like deceptions the only way to get out of this one-dammit! Erg! There's no freaking way Batman will go for this, how am I supposed to convince my momma I'm a super hero..." ah there's that light bulb. "That's it!"

At Wayne Manor Trent was in the Wayne Manor Study going over some business stuff. Whereas Alfred was doing some dusting stuff.

"Hmm..."

"Problem sir?" Alfred asked

"Maybe, I'm going over these quarterly reports, they seem a little...eh...how should I put this...?"

"Not quarterly enough?"

"Exactly, profits took a nose dive this quarter I can't believe...oh, wait a second, I accidentally got Thorne Enterprises report by accident, silly me." he chuckled "Ah here it is...hey, were up this quarter."

"Yes, cause you don't see Scream-In-A-Box, Jeremy Irons Breakfast Cereal and the African-American Heart Monitor."

"Yeah, that's it." he yawned "That's the international signal for it's time to go on patrol." he stood up. Alfred approached the window. "Actually sir, I think I just found the international symbol for get your arse to the police station."

"Huh, what do you mean?" Trent approached the window to see the Bat-Signal. "Right you are Alfred."

"I'll fetch Master Cody sir."

"Thanks, be warned I heard some "jostling" noises from upstairs, you know that's got Rhinehart written all over it."

"Oh believe me sir I'm well aware."

Cody and Sara were in Cody's room doing some-bada-beep-bada-boop.

"Cody...Cody!" Trent called from down the hall.

"Aw sh*t!"

"Man it must be Alfred!"

"Quick, hide in the closet."

"Are you-"

"Just do it woman!" Sara managed to hide just as Alfred walked in. "Whoa Alfred man shut the door! Gosh do I go into your room while you're trying to catch a z or two, huh?" he said smugly.

"Sigh." Alfred sighed, shook his head. He then opened the closet door, and a surprised Sara fell out of it.

"Gah...ha-ha, hh-h-h-ow did I suddenly end up in Cody's closet without any clothes on, h-h-h-h-how -p-p-p-p-peculiar." she said sheepishly.

"Either get dressed and join Master Cody in patrol or leave." Trent said dryly.

"Can't join you, I got training tonight with Tuck."

"Well then see yourself out, we got work to do, let's go Hefner." Alfred ordered Cody

"I'm going I'm going." Cody quickly changed into some clothes. The duo headed for the Bat-Cave.

"The signal, wow seems like forever." Cody took notice. He and Batman met in the study.

"Oh good, you're dressed and not currently plowing an ex-CIA-grade-psycho-assassin."

"Ugh, why can't I have nice things around you?" Cody asked

"You can have nice things...just know there are some things I will meticulously harp on you until the day I die."

"Oh great." the boy wonder rolled his eyes. The two walked down the stairs.

"Seriously Cody, you two have dated for merely a year."

"Yeah...you're point being?"

"My point, young man, is; I know Sara is madly in love with you, but shes still crazy, and I am not about to let a murderer join our team full time, and you should not keep letting her back into our inner circle, cause there will be that one day where she snaps, and kills us all when you forget her birthday, or 2 and ¾ year anniversary, or something stupid like that-she is a girl you know."

"Yeah, shes a pretty girl." Cody said getting googly eyed.

"Just be thankful and be proud you were able to rehabilitate her, whether if it was on a ledge at City Hall of through the multiple secret dates, and-" This is what Cody heard-

"Blah blah-blah blah blah blah blah-blah-blah blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah blah blah-CODY!" he snapped out of it

"Huh, wha?"

"Did you hear one word I just said?"

"Uh...pizza?"

"Wha? Pizza-that's not even-erg, never mind. Just...watch out for Sara alright, I know we've slowly and slowly excepted her but still, shes a killer."

"Oh who has she killed Trent? A couple of wanton mobsters, a drug gangster snitch, an ex military sniper or two? No civilians, no children, no innocent people."

"She nearly killed Mayor Hill cause Rupert Thorne put a check in front of her face."

"Nearly! Horseshoes and hand grenades."

"Ugh...I'll get off your back about this-IF, you can prove to me shes a good egg." And he will wait until episode 89.

"Fine."

"Good." in the Bat-Cave they first noticed Nighthacker.

"Hey guys, I finally found a use for Alfred's new Wood Chipper!"

"What?" Robin asked

"Dude, check it, I can finally get rid of all these old books in the library and turn them into woodchips!" Batman looked at the pile of unslaughtered useless literature.

"Candide...Grendel...The Great Gatsby...Beowulf...Macbeth...1984-Geoff, these are classics!" And they make fantastic firewood...I don't like too many books in case you couldn't tell.

"No, they're woodchips, ah 1984; by George Get-some-damn-anti-depressants-and-get-the-f*ck-over-your-self-cause-nobody-cares-Orwell." he threw it in.

"Okay, look just be at the computer, the Bat Signal is calling."

"Can do, or should I say Candide, or rather, CAN-fetti!" he threw the book in. "Ha, book puns are great."

"Erg, come on Cody."

And now to Gotham P.D. Chef and Courtney were at their desk going over some daily paperwork.

"Hmm...warm out today." Chef said

"Mmm-hmm."

"Kinda warm for mid march."

"Hmm-hmm."

"...Good day for a jog in the park." Courtney turned her computer slightly to look at chef.

"I've been your partner for how long? And you still give me guy-in-an-elevator smalltalk?"

"Well what do you want me to say?"

"I dunno Harvey...speak your mind-WAIT, bad idea; uh...why don't you tell me more about you."

"Oh God I need a distraction, Conway! Conway...Yo where's Conway Twitty?"

"Dead!" an officer answered in the distance

"What? When did this happen?"

"Like 20 years ago!"

"Aw dammit...Yes Gil, thank God!" he noticed the assistant Commish' approach them

"Hey guys, how goes the fun-fun world of local espionage, better known as private investigating?"

"Mostly paperwork." Courtney sighed

"Well I can guarantee it ain't as much as I got." Chris stormed from his office

"Alright, whose the wise-ass?"

"Chef!" everyone answered in unison

"Hey! No fair! We don't even know what I did or did not do yet!"

"Chef did you light the Bat-Signal?" Chris asked

"No."

"Okay, who did it then, anyone, anyone at all? Gil, Montoya? Wilkes? King? Dickinson?"

"Nope."

"Not me boss."

"Ugh, I guess I gotta do everything myself." Chris sighed, heading towards the roof.

"On the roof, Batman, Robin and Batgirl landed, no sign of anyone.

"Commissioner? Bullock?"

"Montoya?"

"No Batman...me."

"Bane?" ...commercial...

"You guys gotta help me! I'm near desperate!"

"Desperate for what, dare I ask?" Batgirl asked

"My Momma's coming to town, she'll be here tomorrow."

"And..."

"And I..ha-ha, m-may have...possibly...stretched the truth about myself and my...occupation a little."

"...How bad?" Batman asked

"I told her I was a super hero, by the name of Baneman and I defend the city against my sworn enemy, Batmaniac, and hos two henchpeople, Crow, and Bat-Venom, and their wheelchair bound sidekick Bat-Claw."

"...Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Robin and Batgirl fell over laughing Batman simply shrugged

"You couldn't have found anymore convincing names?"

"Oh please Batman-please-oh-please-oh-please!" he begged

"No."

"Aw come on Bats, this could be fun." Batgirl said through the chuckles

"What?"

"Shes right, it could be nice."

"Hmm-I don't know..."

"Look, I'm so desperate, I'll make a deal, no acts of villainy while mamma is in town, and I'll try...sorta...kinda, to rehabilitate myself...and, to sweeten the deal, I'll prepare lots of delicious food for a feast, for your troubles."

"Um..."

"Deal."

"Sold."

"What! Hold on, I'm the leader of this outfit and my word is final!" Batman reminded them.

"Aw come on Batman-pleas..." the two begged, Bane joined in

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeease." aw there's the puppy dog pout.

"Ugh." he rubbed his temples "I know I'm gonna regret this...but...ugh, fine."

"YESSSSSSS!"

"Oh we gotta make all new costumes, oh this is so exciting." Batgirl cheered swinging away. "Come on slow pokes!"

"Coming Batgirl. Robin followed her.

"Bane, meet us by the old abandoned bank...and if you could somehow acquire Gray Goblin's flying wing that would be nice."

"No problem."

"Good, meet us there with your mother when she comes." he launched a hook to a building

"I will."

"And...don't mess up." Batman warned before swinging away.

"Yes!" Bane cheered. He had his own way of getting off the building just before Chris showed up.

"Alright, whose the wise...guy? . . . Ugh, I'm losing my mind, I need another vacation." he sighed turning off the Bat-Signal

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	172. Mother of Mayhem, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

After a relatively quiet night of patrolling, the Bat team returned to said Bat-Cave in the Batmobile. Alfred was recalibrating the laser defense system, and Nighthacker was playing Tetris. Batgirl leaped from the Batmobile, and wanted to get right to work.

"Yes! I gotta get some poly-carbon fabric asap!"

"Uh...what did I miss?" Nighthacker asked

"Slow night." Batman responded taking the other computer chair. He uncowled, sighed and rested his weary head.

"Why's Bridge so excited?"

"Ugh...Bane's mom is coming into town." Trent explained

"And...?"

"He said that he was this big important superhero, and that were supposed to be the supervillains."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and he said no bad things whilst his mother was in town and we get a giant feast."

"Wow, what's my persona?" Geoff asked

"You're Bat-Claw, the wheel chair bound sidekick who needs no costume as he is never revealed."

"Oh come onnnnn, everyone knows Nightwing was parilized."

"And you still don't have to be seen."

"Ugh, fine, whatever." Geoff rolled his eyes.

"Sir, you aren't going through with this are you?" Alfred asked

"What choice do I have Alfred. I gave him my word...let's just hope Bane is willing to hold up his. I'm worried his criminal nature will be able to seep through just as so I'm worried about our hero nature. Plus let's be honest, this plan is simply f*cked up."

"I'm painfully aware of that Alfred, but we gotta go through with it."

"Sigh, good luck sir, I'll be watching from the sidelines laughing my arse off." Alfred walked away with a forced chuckle.

"Sigh...wish I could be there with you buddy...wish I could be there with you."

Bane waited hastily for his mother at Gotham International Airport. Until finally, the shorter woman arrived.

"DJ...honey is that you?"

"Momma!" he embraced his far shorter mother.

"oh Lambchop I was so excited to hear you were rehabilitated and a superhero! You don't know how happy that makes your tired old mamma!"

"Uh...yeah-yeah you bet mom." DJ chuckled nervously

"DJ honey is there something you're not telling me?"

"Uh-"

"Cause you know I know when you're lying...and if there's one thing yo momma hates, it's a liar...now are you lying to me son-CAUSE I WOULD REALLY HATE THAT!"

"Uh...n-n-n-no momma, I would never lie to you."

"Well good, now take me to your place, and later I wanna see you in action."

"Uh...yeah."

"Good."

Back at the Bat-Cave Bridgette was showing the guys the outfits she made up, needless to say guess who wasn't impressed whatsoever.

"Well guys what do you think?" she said all excited

"I think...I think..." Cody pondered trying to make her feel better

"I think you took this way too seriously Bridgette." killjoy!

"Oh come on Trent, try it on, you'll like it."

"No, if anything I'm going as this." Trent picked up another Batsuit, which looked just like V-Bat's.

"W-where did you get that?" Bridgette asked nervously

"The last time Imposta-Bat, or Vintage Batman, or-whoever was here, he left this in a hurry, so you know what, just to give him the finger, screw him, screw it, I'm dressing as him." he suited up. "But let's her you're shpeal Bridge."

"Alright check it." she suited up in her new costume.

Talk about Emo-bat. A purple and dark costume with more armor, yet a little revealing winkedy-wink-wink ;) a pink bat insignia on the chest in an attack position, her cowl was also more gothic looking, she even made her skin Gwen pale and used quality vampire teeth (these cost a quarter!).

"Check it out boys, pretty evvvvvilllll right...right mermaid man?"

"EVVIIIIIIIIIIIILLL!"

"Thank you. Oh and check out my backstory, I am Kelsey Archer, born at a castle in Newcastle England to Transylvanian vampires I was raised among the bats, where I developed a thirst for blood, so, I steal and murder my way to my blood, my tasty fix, I am Bat-Venom...huh...huh? Mermaid Man?"

"EVIIIIIIILLLL!"

"Thank you, so fellas what do you think?"

"Not bad." Cody shrugged

"Trent?"

"What did Stan Lee write that for you?"

"WHY CAN'T I HAVE NICE THINGS AROUND YOU!"

"Welcome to my world sister." Cody sighed

"What about your persona Cody?" Trent asked

"Crow? Eh, I'll be Damian Archer, her brother, associated with crows, or something-I dunno."

"and...Dare I ask, what about you Trent?"

"I'm some middle aged moron whose just trying to impose Batman for a little glory not truly understanding the risk, now let's move it!"

"Sigh, had to ask."

"Just keep an eye on things."

"No worries bro, I wouldn't miss this debacle for the world."

"I figured." the team got in the mobile of the bat, and headed off to the old abandoned bank in East Gotham.

Which was coincidentally right near Bane's apartment, he had already commandeered Boyle's wing, he simply stole it while Ferris was passed out on a desk covered in coupon clippings and talking of Shoprite's weakly deals in his sleep. He was juggling that, cooking, watching the bank, all the while keeping his mother company without her getting suspicious.

"DJ honey?"

"Yes Momma?"

"Why do you keep starring outside your window baby?"

"Uh...Jehovah's?"

"Oh okay, sure have some fine brochures they do. And uh, while I'm on the topic of surreptitious, what's with the purple flying wing thingy?"

"Uh...ebay?"

"Oh, alright, boy can you get some good deals on ebay, like I can remember this one time I-"

DJ was too perplexed on seeing the Bat team get in position. He smirked, and grabbed Gray's wing.

"Momma not that yo story isn't thrilling me to pieces, but I really have to run out and by some more milk, were out."

"Really...but I see you have four cartons, full right there on the counter."

"Uh...we need 2%."

"Why that's all you have right there."

"Uh-Skim!"

"Well why didn't you say so schmoopsey-poo, I always carry a spare carton of Skim milk just for such occasions, right here in my purse."

[face-palm]

"Oh come on you carry a carton of milk with you?"

"Why sure doesn't everybody?"

"NO! Look, I'm out of butter-margarine-sugar-just stay put!" he fumed

"Well why are you using your new fangled flying wing honey?"

"Solar powered, saves gas."

"Oh, look at you helping the planet."

"Yup, that's me alright ha-ha." he closed the front door, his fake smile faded "More-or-less Boyle's just too cheap to want to afford a gasoline engine."

The Bat team waited at the reasonably quiet street, Bane arrived some time later.

"Bane, you're late." Batmaniac said looking at a fake watch.

"I know I'm sorry, I'm here now and here's the wing, just fill these burlap sacks with stuff, and just follow my lead."

"O...k." they couldn't get a word in edgewise before Bane was off and running yet again. Bane dashed back up to his apartment completely out of breath.

"Well that was fast, where's all the-"

"Store's is closed Momma it is like midnight! But come quick! My arch foes are as we speak robbing a nearby Commerce Bank!"

"Uh...you mean TD Bank."

"Uh-riiiiiight, yeah that, come ON!"

"Okay, okay, I wouldn't want to miss Baneman in action."

. . .

"Wow, Boyle may be a cheapskate, but this thing handles like a dream...okay Lucius has to make me one of these."

"Can I have one?" Crow asked

"NO!"

"Aw."

"Oh here comes Bane!" Bat-Venom noticed.

"Alright, let's get this over with." Batman sighed.

"Halt villains! Drop your cash!"

"Ooh, I can't believe this!" Momma Bane cried

"Ha! You won't stop us this time Baneman, for I Bat-Venom will steal this cash and then forth use it to-"

"Zip it you suck at this! Look Baneman, we worked long and hard to get this cash, you want it? You'll have to pry it from our cold dead hands!" Batmaniac cried rather convincing

"Yeah! What he said!" Crow yelled

"Shut it."

"Yes sir."

"Roooooooar!"

"Oh he's juiced-no Bane not so hard-not so hard-not so-oof!" Bane crushed Crow into the nearest wall. "Ow."

"Ha! Who's next?"

"Me! Think you can handle a little Bat-Venom! Cause when I need my fix! No one stops me-"

"Don't over sell it Jolie!"

"Shut-up!" she took out several Batarangs but Bane had other ideas, like tossing her aside like a ragdoll. "Ouch."

"Looks like it's just you and me Batmaniac!"

"Perfect."

Inconveniently enough, Gil was driving Courtney and Chef home down that same street as it was his turn for the car pool.

"So, who likes showtunes anyone? Anyone...Courtney?"

"I'd rather listen to Chef play the harmonica on an empty stomach."

"And I'd rather listen to Montoya speak!"

"See that's something we just agreed on-look!"

"I don't believe it...is that..."

"Naw, can't be. Could it?"

"Batman fighting Bane...or Bane Fighting Batman-okay this we gotta see, and to think I had my Journey mix tape all ready."

"Oh darn!" the three stopped right in front of them.

"Oh goodie, the police." Momma Bane said happily

"Oh-"

"sh*t." the other two said

"Hey Bats, what's with these costumes?" Gil asked

"Yeah Pointy Ears, how many trends do you wanna set?"

"Uh...uh..."

"DJ honey what is the bitch woman, angry fat brother, and awkward white guy talking about?"

"Bitch?"

"Fat?"

"Awkward?"

"Uh..."

"What's Bane done this time?"

"Yeah, this banks been closed, no wants to steal from an old dead Commerce Bank." Montoya added

"DJ, what's going on here, and tell the truth!"

"Sigh...I lied momma, I am a villain, these guys in the tacky costumes and fabricated backstories are the good guys, I convinced them to do this...I thought you would treat me differently if you thought I was bad...you wouldn't love me the same." he hung his head.

"DJ honey, as cliché as this is, I love you just the way you are."

"Really?"

"Yes, but you did lie to me, and for that you are in big trouble young man." she grabbed him by the ear, and pulled him back to the apartment.

"Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow."

"Okay, that was weird." Gil scratched his head

"You guys done here?" Courtney asked

"Yes, come on guys." they started for home.

"He still owes us a feast right?" Crow asked

"Oh hell yeah."

**The End...**

**BOOOOOOOOOOQUET is up next, click that review button and get ready for the next exciting thriller...Yeah...woot!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord:** Trent Wayne/Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr.: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Nighthacker

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Rhinehart

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Detective Courtney Montoya

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Cle Bennett: **DJ Hughes/Bane, Momma Bane

**Rob Paulsen: **Asst. Commissioner Gil Mason, various

**Phil LaMarr: **Additional Voices

**E.G. Daily: **Additional Voices


	173. Booquet! Part I

**Villain(s): Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn**

**Episode Archive: DUMBASS!**

**Story By: Sparkling-Nexis137**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri**

**Teleplay By: Alan Burnett&Rich Fogel**

**Art Direction: Shayne Poindexter&Ted Blackman**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 84: Booquet!**

The Commissioner and his less than eager surfer crime fighting smoking hot daughter, parked in the visitor's lot of the Gotham Acres Minimum Security Retirement home. The current living quarters for the well aged Jim Gordon, father to our nostalgically narcissistic commissioner.

"Oh, why do we have to visit Grandpa Jim and Grandma Barbara in the home?" Bridgette asked, the two walked up the handicap ramp to the sliding glass doors (If I had once accidentally once said that Jim's wife was dead...well...not dead)

"Well for starters they live there, and do you really want them going to our homes, making it wreak with the stench of Elderlyness for three weeks?"

"I'll take my chances Dad. I hate this place so much."

"Me too Bridge, but you got to keep an open mind, they're people just like you and me, and they were our ages once too, they just lost some of...most of...all of, their luster, that's all."

"Yeah." Bridgette crossed her arms. "Why do they have to live here anyway?"

"Member that time they wanted to take that road trip to Cape Cod by themselves?" Chris asked

"Yeah, vaguely."

"Long story short, Columbia."

"Columbia Massachusetts, so what, that's not too far off."

"Columbia, South Carolina."

"Ooooh that's bad. Alright I see your point, it's just old people give me the willies." she shivered "They-they're so needy, and they complain, and they're old...and...they're needy."

"What happened to always wanting to see the good in people?" he looked at her who looked at him with a glare. "Alright I see your point, let's just go in there, say hi, bye, and hit up P.F. Chang's."

"Good plan."

They entered the reasonably new facility, where it was in fact crawling with the elderly, watching a broken television, playing checkers, crochet, knitting, and more.

"Nurse! Is-is the TV repairman here to fix the TV."

"She said he ain't coming till next week ya old coot!"

"Oh...then who are you?"

"Ah brother."

"Ha-ha, checkmate old boy."

"Were playing checkers you ninny!"

"Nurse, is it time for my sponge bath?"

"Were playing checkers you ninny!"

"You hooligan! It's my turn for MY sponge bath!"

"Oooooooh, I can deal with Joker, Two-Face, and the rest of them, but I think I would crumble against an army of senior citizens." Bridgette whispered

"Oh yeah, speaking of Batgirl..." Chris said nervously

"Hey-hey it's Batgirl!"

"Batgirl's here!"

"Who?"

"Batgirl you old coot!"

"Whose that?"

"Oh never mind."

"You told them?" Bridgette sneered "Dad how could you?"

"Relax, I told a bunch of old geezers with Alzheimer, dementia and a plethora of other mental diseases. I think you're secret is safe."

"Nurse-nurse come quick, it's Batgirl!"

"Sigh, yes I'm sure it is Mr. Feltzwater." the young nurse sighed "Those people and their dementia."

"So I'm told." Chris said smugly

"Okay Commissioner, Ms. Gordon, your dad is in his room complaining about the TV or something."

"Yeah ha-ha, that sounds like dad."

"Oh and Mrs. Gordon is doing some hydrotheropy in our pool outside."

"I'll go see her." Bridgette said.

"Right this way Commissioner." the nurse led him down the hallway to Jim's suite. Both were unaware of the sketchy figure walking passed holding several bouquets of flowers.

Bridgette walked outside to the pool, again more old farts. The geezers had just got done with their workout, and there stood Barbara Gordon, the elderly wife of the Commissioner's Dad...coincidentally a former commissioner.

"Grandma!"

"Bridgette! Hello dearie-come here-come here, give your old Grandma a hug."

"It's good to see you again."

"You too."

"Hows my favorite Batgirl doing?"

"Yeah that's something you don't say out loud...in public."

"Didn't you're father tell you, half of us are deaf anyways, watch-MAURICE!"

"What?"

"See what I mean, now come with me, let's catch up." Bridgette then noticed that same suspicious character placing bouquets on some of the tables, with no one else noticing.

"S'cuse me Grandma, I'll be right back."

"Hmm-hmm, well of course dearie."

. . .

"Stupid new fangled damn blasted cable television!"

"Here he is." the nurse led Chris to his Dad's room, who was watching TV.

"Nurse! Damn cable's on the fritz...again!"

"Oh Dad." Chris complained

"Mr. Gordon, we've been over this a dozen times, is the cable even plugged into the wall?"

"Well of course it's plugged...into...the...oh." Jim quickly noticed the cord on the floor below the cable jack. The nurse held it up and raised an eyebrow. "Ha-ha, would you mind plugging that in for me please?" ha-ha that's what she said

"I'll leave you both alone." the nurse hastily walked out.

"You know you really should be nicer to the staff here dad."

"Ah what do you know, they get paid to wait on us, they signed up for it, ans we pay them."

"Yeah with my money! As you an Ma no longer have any income!"

"Disposable income! Were on social."

"Look I didn't come here to fight with you, I came here to take you both out for a nice dinner serving food not from warming trays."

"Oh, that sounds great."

"Yeah, except Bridge thinks were just popping in and then she and I are going to P.F. Chang's. So don't spoil the surprise."

"Okay-okay, but I am not eating at P.F. Whatever-the-f*ck, too greasy." Jim insisted putting on his glasses.

"I am painfully aware of that, so I'm thinking the earlybird special at the Cheap-o Diner."

"Oh Bridgette will hate that."

"That's the idea.-"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they were interrupted by the sound of screaming.

"What in the world."

"Come on let's check this out." the two ran as fast as their aging bodies could carry the to the main rec room, a pink fog was cluttering the room, several bouquets of flowers were placed about it, and the elderly were running about screaming and yelling...more louder than usual.

"AHHH!"

"Sweet Jesus!"

"It's the Nazi's!"

"No! It's the NVA!"

"You fool! I see a horde of hooligan kids!"

"What is going-gasp! LAWYERS!" Chris screamed "Dear sweet merciful God! Anything but lawyers, you don't know how much I hate lawyers!" Chris yelped grabbing onto his dad!

"I know you hate lawyers you sissy I raised you didn't I? Most dad's check their son's closet for the boogie man or the grim reaper-ME? Lawyers."

"Dad don't you get it, they're everywhere!"

"Who? The only thing I see is a bunch of old farts running around like crazy people-okay that's normal, and this pinkish mist that wreaks like yesterday's perfume!"

"Hey!" a familiar looking figure in a florists outfit said "I resemble that!" she threw off her disguise.

"Gasp! Poison Ivy!" Jim jumped.

"That's right...everyone in here-cept for me of course should be breaking down in a fetal position like a little pussy-much like your waste of sex son here-cause all they can see is their worst fear...your not, why?"

"I took up so many government experiments when I worked for the feds most toxins no longer effect me! Now what's your game Isley?"

"Hmm-hmm, this is a test one...one of three anyway, for something bigger, much bigger...andthere's more than one way to deal with you Gordon!" a vine from a nearby fern shot out and tied Jim to a wall

"GAHHH!"

"No one can save you now Commissioner!"

"Don't bet on it Ivy!"

"Batgirl!"

"No one messes with Jim Gordon except me!"

Over to Wayne Enterprises Trent and the Wayne Board was in a meeting with big important Japanese executive Industrialist Mr. Herioto Hozako.

"So Missa Wayne, are you sure this new electronic device will revolutionize the pop culture society?"

"Of course gentlemen, the new Wayne Lotus Tablet is top notch I assure you-move over Ipads! This is the wave of the future."

"Hmm, you know we got a similar product and similar offer with Lexcorp yesterday."

"Did you know?"

"Oh yes, you both have similar tastes, but why should we chose Wayne Enterprises, what pizazz can you offer us Missa Wayne?"

"Uh...well-"

"AHHHHHHHH!" What in the world?"

"It came from outside!" One of the bodyguards said.

"Everyone evacuate now!" Trent ordered. They ran out into the hallway, sure enough, more flowers, more gas. More people running like mad.

"Gentlemen, gas masks on!" Hozako ordered his men.

"You carry gas masks with you?" Trent asked

"We carry Katana's too, now ask yourself Missa Wayne which is more peculiar?" Both.

"Well-" Trent then noticed a strange yet familiar looking florist heading towards the stairs snickering. "Quick! Follow the sketchy man in the florist outfit! I'll go page a friend to help you!"

"Sure thing! Let's go men, now this is pizazz." Trent ran back into his office quickly filling with gas, he got over his communicator.

"Lucius, I need a gas mask, my office pronto."

And now for City Hall, Mayor Hill was in his office talking about stuff over his phone.

"Well now Miss Beaumont, I look forward to-"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Yeah I'm gonna have to call you back." he hung up. "If it's not one thing around here it's another." he groaned. And walked into the lobby...this florist was much more...eh, personable.

"AHHHHHHH!"

"That's right wage slaves of city hall, tremble of your most worst fears from me! Harley Quinn!" she threw her disguise off.

"Quinn." Hill sighed, he ran to the nearest bathroom to change.

"Ha! I knew being more belligerent and loud would get people's attention-heh-heh-heh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" she went for her radio.

"All set here Red."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	174. Booquet! Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Harley was interrupted by the sound of a Batarang knocking the cheap Japanese radio from her hand like...like...I dunno I'm sure there's some stereotypical analogy that covers this.

"Hold it right there Quinn!"

"Gasp! You! Imposta-bat, or old fart bat-or, whatever the hell you're name i-"

"V-Bat, it stands for Vintage Batman, it's not all that hard to remember."

"V-Bat-schmee-bat-whatever-the f*ck your name is! Soon you will see you're worst fear come alive!" Harley shouted sinisterly.

"Yeah, no thanks!" his cowl transformed into a gas mask. "Suck it."

"Huh...that seems oddly out of character."

"Shut it!"

"Yeah that's in character. But I don't care! I got an awesome boooooooquet of fear flowers, the people are yelling and screaming in absolute terror! It's so scary it's funny! And I like funny! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"God, you are extra bubbly today Quinn, what's the occasion?" V-Bat asked nonchalantly pulling a Batarang from one of the belt's pockets.

"I just feel so happy to be alive today! I gotta good feeling about this plan Bats! In fact don't even call me Harley Quinn till you've earned the honor...call me...uh...uh...OOH Admiral Harley Quinn Her Hotness!"

"Um, okay, how bout I call you-[ching]"

"Yipe!" the Batarang knocked her off the perch she was on, she shook her head to see V-Bat towering above her. "I'll call you Prisoner 123-who gives a sh*t, cause that's what you'll be known as once you get back to Arkham...your Hotness." OH...NO HE DI'NT!

"Sniff-sniff-YOU'RE WORDS HURT!"

"Yeah I've been told that!" Harley jumped up and Gave V-Bat a small nearly unnoticeable kick to the gut.

"How'd ya get here so fast anyway?"

"I work here-I MEAN...work near here."

"Ohhhhhhhhhh."

"whew thank you God for her being dumb." he whispered.

"Well look V-Bat, you ain't catching me! I'm steppin' out! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" she threw a smoke pellet and disappeared.

"Quinn! Erg...i miss the good old days." he went in search for her.

Back at the Old Folks Home, Ivy was shooting at an ever elusive Batgirl with her wrist crossbow and her poison thorns.

"Ha!"

"HA!"

"HA!"

"Not bad Batzy, kinda sexy as a matter of fact-"

"Oh save the sweet talk for your squeeze toy Harley!"

"Hmm, good one.

"What's your plan anyway Ivy?"

"Well if you must know, this gas is a trial run, one of three, a test if you will."

"A test?"

"A test, yes. The gas is temporary, me, Harley, and Scarecrow, are using my beautiful booooooquets of fear flowers to silently spread nightmares across the city, once this trial run with this temporary gas is successful, we will launch the permanent stuff in the flowers across the city, and together it will be ours in a matter of days! Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Hate to break up your villainous love fest Ivy, but it ain't gonna happen! I'll stop you!"

"Ha! You and what army?"

"You just set yourself up for that one young lady." Jim said

"Huh?"

"Her this army you Harlot!" an old woman screamed

"Oh...yeah I forgot this stuff is really-really temporary. Crap." Ivy sighed. She was surrounded by an army of people who actually voted for FDR.

"Oh crud...an army of senior...citi...zens...duh." the thought occurred of her "Like I'm afraid of a bunch of old farts, Commissioner Gordon, and a disoriented Batgirl! So get out of my way!" Ivy aimed a arrow right at Batgirl who couldn't get out of the way and it hit her in the shoulder, knocking her out.

"Gasp!"

"Batgirl!"

"And now for the chaser." she dropped several plants which emitted a green smoke, disorienting Chris and the other seniors.

"Cough-cough-cough!"

"Sh*t!"

"Dammit!"

"aw f*ck!"

"It's like Saigon all over again!"

"Screw Saigon Sonny, that was nothing like Normandy!" in the midst of their wartime debates, Chris looked around, and then saw his knocked out daughter over Ivy's shoulders, about to exit through the double doors.

"Gasp!"

"I think the Bat will make a nice little slave for me...I could use someone to tend to my plants, and uh...please me when I get bored..." (By the by, if anyone wants a BridgettexIzzy one-shot gimme a shout!)

"Gasp Again!"

"Ta-ta Commissioner! Too bad you're now one bat short of a belfry-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Quick! After Her!"

"Shes got Batgirl!"

Everyone ran out to see Izzy had hotwired Chris's Car, and was driving away.

"Great, she steals my daughter." he said quietly "THEN SHE STEALS MY CAR!"

"Not to worry Son! We can catch Ivy!"

"No offense Dad, but you and you're well aged friends are match against a Dodge Charger Hemi!" My car of choice.

"Oh are we?" Jim asked smugly "Quick! Everyone to your Rascals and Golf Carts!" Jim ordered all the seniors climbed into their vehicles. "Come on honey!" Barbara stepped shotgun into the cart. "Hop on son, you can sit in back."

"Dad...again, this an improvement...But you are not going to catch a Hemi...IN A GOLF CART!"

"Oh Chris...oh ye of little faith."

"Chris dear, did you honestly think we spend our days crocheting and playing shuffle board?"

"Well gee I dunno-YES!"

"Just hang on son. Igniting Turbo."

"Turbo that would wor-WHATTTT! TURBO!" The Commissioner yelled in disbelief.

"The fine folks at Nos were very generously to us, Charlie over there used to be their general manager."

"Yup...now the kid gets it."

"Hang onto that girly perm of yours son." VEROOOOOOOOOM "We'll catch Ivy yet!" they rocketed down the street in search of the Car.

Meanwhile back at Wayne Enterprises, Scarecrow had made it to the lobby, his disguise eliminated. He found himself quickly surrounded by Hozako and his two Bodyguards.

"Oh crap, eh."

"Sie! Komato! Hai." Hozako ordered their Katana's still raised

"Uh, English, eh?"

"Quiet!" one bodyguard ordered

"Sie!"

"Apologies Missa Hozako."

"You...why are you doing this to Missa Wayne?"

"This eh? Ha-ha-ha-ha! One part plan you know! Just trying to see if testing this was worth while, and it was eh, now I'm going to get back to the lair and whip a batch of permanent fear gas, eh."

"Don't bet on it Scarecrow!" Batman jumped near them all

"You!"

"You are the help Missa Wayne spoke of yes?"

"That's me, Batman."

"Look fellas I have like no time to learn the entire Japanese language from top to bottom, so just eat this! And I'll be on my way!" he threw a booquet at all of them. No effect.

"Were wearing masks Dumbo!"

"Oh...this is bad."

"Sie! Komoto-[zk]" that's the throat cutting noise. The two charged, Scarecrow jumped high and the two ran into each other.

"Ha! For a culture with great warriors, you all suck eh!" Batman then grabbed him. "You on the other hand."

"Good. Now let's unmask him, and see who he truly is."

"I know who he is Mr. Hozako, and if I know him right he's not acting alone, we better-[oof]" Scare crow jabbed him and headed for the front door.

"Ha! Too slow Bats!"

"He's getting away!" Scarecrow jumped in his florist van and drove off. Batman's transformable jetpack took shape. "Hop o-ooh, you guys have jetpacks too?"

"Life in Tokyo very stressful Batman."

"Alright, let's follow him."

V-Bat had tracked Harley down to his office, she standing on the ledge of a window sill, again with a jetpack.

"Quinn!"

"Oh there you are! Well, I guess you're just in time to see me make my grand getaway!"

"Not likely!" he approached her

"See ya later Bat-Fake!" she jumped after blowing him a kiss

"Oh no you don't!" Batman grabbed onto her leg, and the combined weight safely flew them downwards, to the street.

"Well, way to kill my buzz B-Man!"

"That's my jo-huh?" they heard the roaring sounds coming from either direction.

"Scarecrow I can't find Harley, where are you?"

"_Chill the nips woman, I'm by City Hall, and look once we get back to the lair, we gota get the permanent stuff going TODAY!_

"No kidding-wait, City Hall you say?"

"_Yeah, like 10 seconds out, why?"_

"Cause that's...where...I..." she saw Scarecrow's van coming in fast, followed by Batman and the flying businessmen. Ivy and Scarecrow were smart to stop right by Harley and V-Bat.

"Whew."

"Oh."

"That was a close one eh." they soon realized no one else could stop in time.

"Oh-"

"Shi-[TRAIN WRECKKKKKKKK]

V-Bat was smart to throw himself and Harley out of the way just in time. And even throw handcuffs on her.

"Whew, that was really close.-[click]"

"Tell me about it."

"No fair!"

Batman and the businessmen got up from their wrecked positions, their jetpacks torn to sh*t.

"Ugh...damn, you okay Mr. Hozako?"

"Am I okay-HA-HA! I'm better than okay!"

"Really?"

"I've never felt more alive in my 57 years of life Batman! This was pizazz I've been searching for! You, tell your buddy Wayne we have a sure deal! I will sign tomorrow! Right after I release all this excess adrenaline with some sky diving!"

"Oh that's great ne-wait...your fighting like a ninja, flying a jetpack, and skydiving at age 57?"

"Hey Sonny Bat! I'm 86 and I was just in a high speed chase!" one of the old geezers yelled getting up from his wrecked Rascal.

"You Batman, age is simply a number." V-Bat smirked from the distance.

"Yeah sure, but once this is over there will be words, you and me-got it?"

"Eh, maybe some other time." he launched a Bat hook, and swung away.

"Every time." Batman groaned. He and several others surrounded Commissioner's wrecked Hemi, to see Ivy wake up from the crash.

"The jig is up Ivy!" Jim ordered

"Don't count on it Gordon!" she kicked the door opened, taking the unconscious Batgirl with her. "No this plan might be wrecked but I still got me a hostage, and I suggest-huh?" she noticed someone tap her on the shoulder.

"Not likely dearie-[SUCKER PUNCH]" Barbara punched her like humina-humina-humina-humina-POW RIGHT IN THE KISSER!

"Unh...ugh...pretty...flowers...ugh." she fell into a pile of unused fear flowers that fell from Scarecrow's van, he himself K-Oed from the crash.

"Ha-ha, that's my wife." Jim sighed. Batgirl woke up.

"Huh...wha...w-w-w—what happened?" she stood up.

"You passed out." Chris told her.

"Luckily you're alright now."

"Yawn I'm still tired...I need a nap." she yawned half awake.

"How bout a nice bowl, of tomato soup-"

"Or a big ol grilled cheese."

"Guys, I'll take it from here, I know what she needs." Batman carried her off, bridal style. "So, I trust visiting your grandparents was a good day?" he asked

"Ugh, don't remind me." she slept.

**The End...**

**Hiya Kids! Whose ready for our Clayface mega motion picture movie parody? I know I sure is! Enjoy, Review! MAN IS MONSTER GREAT!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill/V-Bat

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Katie Crown: **Izzy Isley/Poison Ivy

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Lindsay Quinzel/Harley Quinn (Her Hotness)

**Peter Oldring: **Prof. Ezekiel Crane/Scarecrow

**Bob Hastings: **Jim Gordon

**June Foray: **Barbara Gordon,Various elderly

**Keone Young: **Herioto Hozako

**James Sie: **Sie

**Robert Wu: **Komoto

**Ernest Borgnine: **Elderly Man #1

**Tim Conway: **Elderly Man #2

**Adam West: **Elderly Man #3

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr.: **Elderly Man #4, Various

**David McCallum: **Elderly Man #5, Various

**Grey DeLisle: **Nurse, Elderly Woman #2

**Adrienne Barbeau: **Elderly Woman #3, Various

**Rita Moreno: **Additional Voices


	175. Stardoom! Part I

**Villain: Clayface Featuring: Nearly Everyone! Absent: Dr. Hans Steinreich, Hugo Strange, Tuck**

**Episode Archive: OAKLEYS!**

**Story By: Sparkling-Nexis137**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Bruce Timm**

**Teleplay By: Randy Rogel**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 85: Stardoom!**

Every villain mentioned in the above listing woke up in what seemed to be movie chairs, and in their appropriate and copyright protected crazy themed costumes.

"Huh...Yawn, feels so good to str-huh?" Penguin first took notice. "What in the name of vultures? Hey guys-guys wake up! Wake up!"

"Pengers go back to sleep before I shove an exploding pie in your fat face!" Joker groaned refusing to wake up.

"No I'm serious! Wake up already!"

"Zip it you fat excuse for a villain!" Red Claw shouted rubbing her eyes "Fine I'm up what's the big-oh..."

"Told ya."

"Hmm..." Penguin nudged a sleeping Ivy.

"Iz-Izzy, wake up Iz! IZZY!"

"Hmm-Harl, quit it, it's too early for this...well not that ear-" she woke up "Oh, hey big O what's the-whoa...Whoa!"

"Yeah right." Ivy woke Harley up

"Harley! Harley wake up!"

"What, shoe sale where what-gasp! What is this place Red?"

"I wish I knew."

"Whoa, this is cool." she noticed a sleepy Nurse Pain and Gray Goblin next to her.

"Yawn...say something Lindsssssaaaaay...Mistah G Mistah G! Wake up!"

"Yawwwwwwwwn, what is it Harl-JUMPING JIMMINEY CHRISTMAS!"

"Yeah about the movie set right."

The cast slowly awoke and then joined each other on stage, even Ra's Al Ghul was there for some reason or another.

"Alright, let's have it!" Ra's fumed "Whose big idea is this, and where the hell are we?"

"Good question Demon." Scarecrow began "Anyone, eh? Anyone at all."

"If I knew they'd be frozen by now-"

"Oh zip it drama queen!" Catwoman ordered

"Well think of it this way fellow miscreants...if were here, obviously someone we know had to have done this...question is, whose missing?" Penguin asked

"Steinreich." Riddler noticed

"I wouldn't put this passed him." Shifty thought

"No, he just sent me a postcard literally yesterday, he's vacationing in Cancun, see." Riddler held up the card.

"Well he checks out." Gray agreed "Who else? Hmm?"

"Exterminator and Tuck are missing!" Heather noticed.

"Yes...they could film our very demise! You'd know they'd do it!" Hatter shouted looking over his shoulder.

"I'm not so sure Tetch, not really their style." Bane noticed. "It's low class, it's vile. It's-"

"Right down their ally." Red Claw cut him off.

"I hate to side with Hatter, but they might actually do this." Snatch agreed

"Yeah that's-HEY!" Hatter fumed

"Wait a sec though." Catwoman looked around "Don't you think they would have offed us already, or at least shown themselves, hmm?"

"Gwen has a point...if I know killers for hire they would get the job done with creatively-mind you, but quick never the less." Rupert Thorne explained "Besides, they would also off everyone they hate."

"Which would be everyone Thorny!" Joker added

"No-no I think Rup might be onto something, much as I hate to admit it." Two-Face walked around flipping his coin. "They would sure pick Steinreich...anf uh-oh yeah, Strange, the new guy who escaped last week, weird guy-accent, beard? Member him, he's not here."

"Oh yeah."

"Yeah-"

"Wait!" Gwen stopped them "Maybe Strange is up to something."

"Doubt it, he would surely pick Steinreich up too, after all, he did help Batman rescue you, if I'm not mistaken." Two-Face added

"Oh, right...and besides, he would have made himself known by now, or try and test us...whoever this is, is a mystery alright."

"We still don't know who though!" Blast added

"I believe I can answer that question." an elevated directors chair was lowered from a crane to the ground, with a face we ALL are familiar with.

"Gasp!"

"Is it?"

"Can it be?"

"I think it is-"

"STEVEN SPIELBERG!"

"The very same!"

"Oh my gosh! Steven freakin' Spielberg! You are the best!" Harley squeaked

"I thought I was the best." Joker retorted quietly

"Thank you, thank you, you are all too kind."

"Mr. Spielberg, will you sign my chest- PLEEEEEEEASE!" Harley begged

"Yeah-yeah me too!" Pain insisted

"Well-well, I-I-I couldn't-"

"Pleaseeeeee! For the crazy Quinzel Sisters!"

"Oh...oh alright."

"EEEEEEEEEE!" the two lifted up their shirts like a couple of drunken college girls on spring break meeting Ryan Seacrest or someone else famous.

"To My biggest fans...the Quinzel Sisters."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" new Katie and Sadie Squeaked.

"Wow, not even Katie and I squeak that loud."

"It's a sister thing Sadie."

"You made a new dummy that fast?" Snatch asked

"Oh yeah. One that loves me unconditionally...no matter what!"

"Fascinating, you can put your shirts down now-I'm sure you're all wondering why you're-"

"Well of course not-well not now." Joker said

"What the Clown means is, you want us to star in some big fancy movie, and I agree, it'll be a marvelous opportunity, for all of us, no?" Thorne asked

"You're correct Mr. Thorne, I do want you all to star in a movie, you see; the fans want something with substance...with closure...they want you! And who better to direct that awesome movie, than me."

"Yes! I'm already loving this!" Shifty cheered

"Good, I'm glad. Of course you realize, you all should get to know the real me."

"Wait. What do you mean?" suddenly, Spielberg started to suddenly transformed into a blob-like thing, and then transformed into

"Me!"

"AWWWW!"

"CLAYFACE!"

"I would have known!"

"You...lying little! GRRRR!" Gray charged "Lemme at her! Hold me back!" Ra's and Two-Face

"Ferris!"

"Boyle, what's gotten into you?"

"That-That...t-t-t-that smug botax strung-plastic faced vixen nearly killed me! And Trent Wayne, 4 celebrities, and a reporter from Metropolis Wayne seemed to be into!"

"Hmm-hmm-hmm, good to see you again too Boyle, but please, except my apology, you were once an influential person in Gotham, I had to have you on my talk show, besides, I've moved onto bigger and better things, like producing this major motion picture. Which...stars all of you-the villains of Gotham and beyond."

"Why?" Ra's asked

"Because, I want to prove to the world that Blaineley Hagen, is just as good as any other Starlet or director out there, and this is the perfect way to show it, no?"

"It's a crazy way to show it."

"Oh fine Bolton, you go and make your own movie, and we'll see how well you do."

"Erg." Lock-Up groaned

"Alright, were in-"

"IN! I most certainly think not!"

"Why not Boyle?" Two-Face asked

"Did you not just see a girl disguised as Spielberg just sign my hot girlfriends chest? Duncan why aren't you fuming right now?"

"Dude...I just saw free boob...and had to do nothing in which to see it, all-in-all, it was a pretty good morning-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha."

"So, we have a deal then?" she asked

"Eh...why not?" Gray sighed.

"Good, let's get started immediately. On the film of a lifetime!"

Meanwhile for something a little less...not that, Bridgette was looking over some old files in the Bat-Cave, when, guess who shows up on a motorcycle where the Batmobile usually parks.

"Ah, hello Bridgette."

"Ham what's u-UUUUUUUUP! What are you doing here!"

"I thought it was time I revealed myself to Trent, it's been long enough, and quite personally, I can't stand it anymore-where is he?"

"Not here, he went patrolling last night, haven't seen him since, I'm looking over that right now."

"Oh...where's Geoff?"

"Finals, he's studying...as should I...and you should go, do it some other time."

"Well, there's no time like the present."

"He's not here though-"

"I'll wait."

"grrrr...look, just...just...just help me find him if you wanna help, okay?"

"Alright, okay; I'll help you." they got to work

"This just happened recently, all the "high profile" prisoners at Arkham have suddenly vanished overnight out of complete thin air."

"No leads?"

"Not a one. We have a few villains missing in action but that's for understandable reasons. All legitimate alibis, not sure exactly whose calling the shots, but whoever it is-"

"Has the villains...and most likely Batman."

"Exactly."

. . .

"ACTION!"

The lights were on Gray and Pain, both were hit with a wall of stagefright

"Well...do something!"

"Like what?"

"I dunno, ad lib!"

"Some director you are! Just telling us NOTHING!"

"Mistah G has a point, there is no scene direction, no theme, no idea, all you have are cheap and easy actors!"

"CUT! Look don't you get it, this movie is whatever you want it to be! A thriller, a comedy, a romance, a sports, a revenge themed, a double sided, dramatic, crazed, whimsical, mystery the world has just got to see! You are your own director! I'm just here to yell action and cut, get it?" Clayface asked

"Well-"

"Sorta."

"Good, now ACTION!"

"Wait!"

"Cut! What now?"

"Clayface-I dunno, we just don't have any real motivation."

"What? Shouldn't movie of the year be motivational enough?"

"He's right you know...we need something a little more...eh, more." Riddler shrugged

"Hmm, you all want more?" everyone nidded "Fine I'll show you more." she walked over to a curtain and rope for said curtain "I was going to save this for the grand climax, but; by the film's end you all will have the honor of eliminating the film's main antagonist. The curtain opened revealing a bound, gagged, and turned upside down

"GASP!"

"Batman..."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	176. Stardoom! Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

At the Bat-Cave, Batgirl and Hill were looking over the scan of the city, so far, an absolute nada from all their usual villains.

"Huh, nothing, absolutely nothing, their heat signatures simply aren't in Gotham City."

"None of them?"

"None." she turned around in her chair "I'm telling you Ham it's as if they've vanished off of the face of the earth."

"Hmm..." Ham scratched his chin

"What's hmm? What are you hmm-ing about?"

"Maybe...were not looking hard enough." This prompted a groan from Batgirl

"Uggggh!" she fell back in the chair

"What's the matter."

"Ham I'm Klutzier than a Klutz at a Klutz convention-and I could have told you that!"

"No-no-no you're missing the point, they have no heat signatures cause were only looking...above ground."

"Ohhhhh, an underground lair, yes; yes Ham you're right. Well then, I'll cross-reference all underground points of reference and check out the density in the heat signatures, with any luck, they'll be there."

"Rule out the subways." she stopped typing

"What do I look like? An amateur?"

"Eh." Ham shrugged. Bridgette rolled her eyes and got back to work

"Erg...everyone's a freaking critic."

And now for the abortion-I mean movie, Firefly was on a boat traveling down a swamp filled ha-ha La-MARSH...Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, inside joke-anyway, she was joined by Count Vertigo, Catwoman, and Penguin.

"Yipe! Hurry young villains, or else the evil Batman will sink our boat!" Firefly yelled in the worst style of acting since...I dunno use your imagination.

"Oh no he'll tear our boat to smithereens with those Batarangs of his! Fellow miscreants, we must act!" Act better is more like it Penguin.

"Ant act ve zhall, qvickly! Shmoke grenade avay!" Vertigo yelled, tossing several smoke grenades at Batman.

"Oh no! Vertigo it didn't work! He's gonna kill us! Not to worry my sweet little Robin! I'll save you!" Sierra grabbed a cardboard cutout of Robin in the boat.

"CUT!"

"What?"

"Zhat vas a good take? No?"

"No!" Roland Dagget yelled right next to Clayface "Firefly, no Robin! We told you that earlier!"

"Aw but whyyyyyyyy?"

"He is the enemy dammit! Just like Batman. The sooner you get that the better."

"Awwwwwww."

"Dagget's right Sierra, they're aren't too many wrong ways to do this movie, except like that, capice?"

"Sigh, Capice." she tossed the standee aside.

"Alright, Gwen, this is the scene where you are captured by Batman." Clayface explained

"Oh yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!" she jumped to the dangling and depressed Dark Knight.

"ACTION!"

"Gwen, the blood is rushing through my head." Batman whispered

"I know, just hold out till the big finish, then Heather and I will think of some convulluted plan like always, you bust out, kick our asses, and send us back to jail, just let me have this."

"So help me once I get down here I am going to KICK SO MUCH ASS!" easy there Kelso

"Ooh, I love that anger Batman, well done!" Clayface clapped sarcastically

"Yes, it's as if he's actually pissed off-"

"Erg, this is worse than the trial." Batman groaned.

"Alright, next take-ACTION!"

Back at the Bat-Cave the analysis was near fruition.

"Aaaaaaaand...done!" Bridgette cheered

"Alright, excluding the subways of Gotham, let's see what we have."

"Hmm, you might be right Ham."

"I knew it."

"It seems...there's a ton of active heat signatures underneath—of all places, Arkham Asylum."

"Figures."

"Yeah, tell me about it...and if any luck I bet Trent's there too."

"I agree, well; guess I'll just go over there and-"

"NO!"

"No? Why no?" Hill asked

"Are you nuts, what do you say when he asks, a little Batgirl told me? He'll get suspicious! He'll have my head for conspiring with you, before you even have a second to explain yourself! He still thinks you're some imposter."

"Okay-okay I see your point, I'll tell Trent some other day, but in the meantime, I'm staying here to watch this situation...and uh...someone does have to go after him."

"I'll get the squirt to do it."

"Splendid." Ham took notice around the Bat-Cave, and on how nice it was. "Lotta stuff here."

"When you have his money, it's no surprise."

"I see...You sure Cody will be fine all by himself?"

"Easy, according to the scanners, this old bunker used to be a WWII training facility/POW camp, has built in knockout gas sprinklers overhead. Easy."

"Alright then, he'll be fine."

"By the way, why did-GASP!" DING

"GASP!" the elevator dinged. Ham ducked behind the holographic table thingy. Alfred and Geoff exited the elevator.

"So what happened to the girl?" Geoff asked

"To this day Fredrick and I haven't the foggiest idea, we assumed she did grease herself up, slid down the pipe shaft, and jumped ship near Okinawa, haven't seen her since."

"Wow, must have been some party."

"Oh you bet it was."

"Well hey fellas, what's shaken...bacon?" Bridgette asked as nervous as a...dammit I need a Texas metaphor...uh...more nervous than a...rattlesnake...in a...snake-cook house-I dunno, I tried, it's on the paper, there it is.

"Hmm, a bit tense are we Miss Gordon?" Alfred asked

"Me? Tense? Ha-ha-ha, oh Alfie, you're funny."

"Alfie?" Geoff and Alfred raised eyebrows

"You know I hate that? What are you hiding?"

"Nothing...nothing at all."

"You're hiding something babe, I can sense it."

"Uh-Geoff!" she jumped right into his lap "Let's go on a date, let's go on a date right now-RIGHT NOW!"

"Uh, okay."

"I can hold down the fort here for one evening Master Geoffrey."

"Good, excellent, alright babe, let's paint the town red." they rolled away, Bridgette looked at Mayor Hill giving her thumbs up, he himself was tiptoeing to the stairs.

"Alfred, make sure to tell Cody to go with the police to find Batman underneath Arkham Asylum."

"Well that's good news, I shall inform Master Cody immediately."

Back at the movie set from hell, the villains were nearing their climactic ending that only yours truly would write onto a screenplay as it was God awful.

Batman was still dangling upside down, in the middle of a ballroom style set. We take you now to Harley who was holding onto a "dying" Ivy.

"Sniffle-sniffle-sob-sob...No...R-R-Red...spspeak to me Ivy."

"Oh brother." Batman groaned

"H-h-h-h-harl?" she said weakly.

"Yes Red, I'm here baby."

"I'm...I'm...I'm dying Harl-cough-cough-dying."

"Good lord." Batman was ready to smash bricks into his head.

"Red No!"

"Harl...you have to...kill...the Batman."

"Good stuff right here." Daggett whispered.

"Yes." Clayface smirked

"NOOOO!" Harley sobbed as Ivy drifted away.

"Zhat Monshter! He muzt be shtopped!" Vertigo ordered

"I think we can arrange that? Can't we guys?" Joker asked

"Yes, I agree, for Ivy." Freeze mused

"But you hate Ivy...you hate everyone." Batman added

"Shove it!"

"We should have my pet vulture Monticor peck him to bits!"

"I'd rather go with Smithy's idea and simply freeze him, gotta say it's effective." Red Claw added

"You can do whatever you want, it's your movie."

"No one would dare to pay money to see this crap! I'd rather see the Hunger Games than see this!" Book was much better, FAR better. "And no production company would dare produce this abortion!" Batman yelled. A helicopter was suddenly hovering near him

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Contact!" Gray chuckled piloting the device along with Riddler

"We'll stop Bats! Somehow!"

"How does that even fit in here?" Batman asked

"It's a prop you dunderhead!" Dagget yelled

"Uh-ha-ha, it was a prop." Gray chuckled nervously

"What do you mean, was?" Clayface asked

"I payed a local 50$ to put an engine in it."

"What?"

"50 bucks?" Clayface asked

"Goblin you pinhead you can't fly a real chopper under here!" Daggett ordered

"Seriously 50 bucks?" Clayface retorted

"Look, it'll make for an excellent finale-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" he got the rotors as close as he could, the other villains were all aimed at Batman.

"It ends here Bats!"

"No one can save you now."

"Today...is the day...the Bat dies." Joker smiled

"Smile Splatman! You're on Can-DEAD Camera! AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Gray laughed

"Good one." Riddler added

"I thought so too, twas an old line from my old friend Mr. Paul Dini."

"Alright, looks like the end for the Bat." Daggett rubbed his hands together. He then noticed something bone chilling up in the catwalks above, footsteps, and lots of them

"Oh no."

"You okay Roland?"

"Uh, yeah...uh, I uh...just realized there's uh...something...I uh...gotta, take care of in the booth." Daggett rushed up to the control room.

"Oh, okay then." Clayface shrugged. She turned her attention back to the set. "Alright villains, let's end this movie with a bang."

"A bang? A boom? A slash? Oh we'll do more than that!" Croc chuckled

"Then do it!"

"Any last words Bat-Splat?" Bane asked

"Actually, you guys are completely aware that something convenient is going to happen that will get me out of this."

"Yeah, I'll bet!"

"Yeah right!"

"Alright guys, time to kill-[koosh]"

"Cough-cough-cough-cough!"

"Yeah, kinda like that."

Knockout gas grenades were thrown from the catwalks, hitting the villains, they all were K-Oed instantly.

"No! My...My...my mov...mov...movie." Clayface drifted "I was...gonna be...f-famous." she hit the floor. Daggett watched the police and Robin jump down

"Dammit. Oh well, easy come easy go. Until next time Batman." he crawled away through a vent duct.

Later the villains were apprehended all except for Ra's who did another famous vanishing act with Heather. The rest were brought back to their cells upstairs. Robin and Batman did some debriefing.

"So I was under Arkham this whole time?"

"Yup, pretty much."

"Insanity."

"Tell me about it."

"But this place is under ground, how did you find me?"

"Bridgette did."

"Well, I knew that new system thing was a good use of money, and all the prisoners are back where they belong...good job Robin."

"Thanks. Still, what of the "Big" movie?" he asked

"Ha...with any luck, the dumpster on trash day."

**Some time later**

The Bat Team was in the Bat-Cave watching the abortion on HBO.

"It's an HBO special?"

"Yeah, Bullock sent it in and pocketed a few bucks from it."

"But it's terrible-it-it-it wasn't even cut or edited, it's just straight crap! What the hell?" Trent complained.

"Eh...it's actually not that bad-"

"That's no more HBO-I'm dropping the channel, were done! DONE!"

**The End!**

**Season 8 finale up next, enjoy! Review! Stay in school! And have a well balanced diet!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Carla Collins: **Blaineley Hagen/Clayface

**Ed Asner: **Roland Daggett

**Drew Nelson: **Duncan Napier/Joker

**Marco Grazzini: **Alejandro Dent/Two-Face

**Katie Crown: **Izzy Isley/Poison Ivy

**Peter Oldring: **Prof. Ezekiel Crane/Scarecrow

**Mark Hamill: **Ferris Boyle/The Gray Goblin

**Arleen Sorkin: **Harleen Quinzel/Nurse Pain

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Lindsay Quinzel/Harley Quinn, Kate Wesker/The Ventriloquist

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Gwen Kyle/Catwoman

**Rachel Wilson: **Heather Al Ghul

**David Warner: **Ra's Al Ghul

**Julia Chantrey: **Eva Evanovich/Red Claw

**Cle Bennett: **DJ Hughes/Bane

**S. Scott Bullock: **Scott O'Connor/Shifty

**Billy West: **Jason Cratcheville/Blast

**Rob Paulsen: **Trevor Naples/Snatch

**Lauren Lipson: **Sadieface

**Richard Moll: **Lyle Bolton/Lock-Up

**Paul Sorvino: **Rupert Thorne

**Carter Hayden: **Noah Nygma/The Riddler

**Brian Froud: **Harold Tetch/The Mad Hatter

**Adam Reid: **Justin Jones/Killer Croc

**Jennifer Hale: **Dora Smithy/Mrs. Freeze

**Maurice LaMarche: **Count Vertigo

**Annick Obsonsawin: **Sierra Lynns/Firefly


	177. ThrowBAT, Part I

**Villain(s): The Snakemaster, Clean Freak, Kareem, Micro Man, The Shadow, Permafrost, The Raven (In Two-shot appearances) Featuring: The Gray Goblin, Nurse Pain **

**Episode Archive: MOUNTAIN DEW IS THE GREATEST SODA EVER MADE!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Dan Riba&Curt Geda**

**Teleplay By: Alan Burnett&Michael Reaves**

**Art Direction: Eric Radomski&Bruce Timm**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 86: Throw-BAT (Part I)**

Trent walked down the stairs to the Bat-Cave wearing his silk robe. To answer your next question, he did just take a nice long shower.

"Alfred hold my calls won't you, I got a lot of work to do tonight!"

"No problem Master Trent!" Alfred called from upstairs.

"Good, I gotta try and figure out where Ra's and Heather went, and the current whereabouts of Daggett, it's gonna be a long work night!"

"I'll keep your supper in the oven."

"Much obliged."

"Ugh, another long night."

"Yes-"

"GASP!"

"I'm sure it'll be interesting." the voice continued.

"Who are you? Where are you! Show yourself!" Trent ordered. He grabbed a nearby Batarang "I said-"

"No need to be alarmed Trent." the figure turned around in his computer.

"Mayor Hill?"

"You're in good company."

"But-but-but-but-but."

"Interesting Bat-Cave you have...much larger and far nicer than mine."

"Oh...you mean this place...it's...my...uh...my storage room?"

"You don't have to lie to me Trent I know everything, and I have for years."

"Sigh...when have you known?" Trent asked

"Al's Testimonial dinner, apparently you and I had the same idea."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Same idea what do you..." Trent finally got the idea "You mean you're the-"

"Imposta-Bat? Yes...Bridgette calls me V-Bat, stands for Vintage Batman...if you're wondering I'm no imposter, I am...the original Batman."

"Gasp."

"Yes, I realize this is quite a shock to you."

"Alright-alright, how did you first find out it was me?"

"Well..."

_-Giggity it's a Flashback!-_

"_Good evening ladies and gentlemen! We are the entertainment tonight-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"_

"_What in the world?" _

"_Where is Alejandro Dent..." _

"_Erg...someones gotta stop this guy...looks like it's gonna be me." _I ran into the nearest bathroom stall, and for whatever the reason I had the damndest time trying to get my pants off.

"_Come on...stupid zipper-[Door opens]-huh?" _That's when I noticed you ran in and you threw on your bat-suit in no time flat, and ran out...i clocked you, start to finish, about 43 seconds...most impressive.

"_What...Trent...is the Batman?" _I got dressed, and headed outside to monitor your progress, you guys did fantastically against the Joker, that's when I knew this city was in great hands

_-K, Flashback over-_

"So you've known for years-at least since I started to rack up a consistent rogues gallery."

"That's right."

"So...did you ever have your own crazy rogues?" Trent asked intrigued

"Did I? Of course-but like myself they retired, fortunately I seemed to be the only one that wanted to relive the glory days thank God."

"Who were they?" Trent asked

"Well...There's the Clean Freak...otherwise known as Gracie Maddox, she used to be a just a maid at a hotel with major OCD, she was also a germaphobe, and she hated messes. Crazy and insignificant as it seems, it drove her mad, so she became Clean Freak, absolutely obsessed with keeping EVERYTHING she could clean as can be."

"Kinda sounds like Poison Ivy, where is she now?"

"I think shes actually a disabilities counselor, coping with her OCD herself."

"Okay."

"Oh, and then there was Kareem Ansari, who just went by Kareem, he was something like Bane, Killer Croc, and Two-Face combined. He was once an Arabian Wrestler, coping with MPD, when he came to Gotham, he turned to a life of crime as his wrestling career hit the bricks, strong guy, no juice involved, today...I think he's the lead Bellhop at Gotham Towers Hotel in Cherry Hill."

"Wow."

"Let's see, oh yes Micro Man, Johnny Eisenberg, he was a scientist at Star Labs, one freak experiment made him micro sized, at the touch of a button on a watch pad, he could be reduced twice his normal height, to the size of a mouse. Today, he still works at Star Labs, actually I think at his original job, it was later determined the chemical exposure from the gases making grow shorter caused his insanity, so they felt responsible and very sympathetic. Genius though."

"Sounds like Riddler's MO."

"Oh yes, The Crow, very similar to Penguin. George Chamberlain the IV. Philanthropist, mob boss, loved his crows, and often traveled with them, they would help him in his schemes. He works at the zoo today as an expert on the birds, the Crow especially."

"Does he eat like Penguin?"

"Not as much, but you get the idea."

"This is fun Ham, you got anymore?"

"The Shadow, this person could have been related to Gwen Kyle somewhere down the road."

"Really...?"

"Yup, Scarlet LaChance, she was like Catwoman and Carmen Sandiego all rolled into one. She would steal only the rarest, most valuable treasures this city had to offer...unlike Gwen though, she would never help the good side-she was more vicious, and had no ultimatums, like Gwen has her cats, Scarlet never cared."

"Where is she now?" Trent asked

"Stonegate. Yup she was the only one never deemed fit to re-enter society-however she was deemed sane enough for a regular prison."

"Anymore."

"Two...Damon Brozdovich aka Permafrost, a more...human version to Mr. and Mrs. Freeze, by that I mean, he had all this ice tech, but never suffered from any cold-borne disease. He used to work as a KGB agent. Loved the cold, said it was quite bracing. He's currently a Russian-English translator at Gotham Central-I see him from time to time, he says his job is quite rewarding."

"And the last?" Trent asked a little disdained

"The most devious of all...my biggest foe...Snakemaster. Loved her snakes, very elusive, very crafty Winter Sherwood was her name, an accomplished professor, suffered from a major case of MPD, she would be sane one minute, then having her snakes bite your face off the next."

"What do you mean was?" Trent asked

"Oh she changed her name and her look, even her profession after she went sane."

"Who is she now."

"You'll never believe me."

"Try me." Trent insisted

"Her name...is Summer Gleeson."

"WHAT!"

"Told ya."

Speaking of whom, Summer and Jack had just finished a lengthy news broadcast

"I'm Jack Ryder."

"And I'm Summer Gleeson."

"And were signing off!"

"Cut! Good job guys."

"Whew, heck of a broadcast, join me for dinner Jack?" Summer asked

"Uh...I uh-ha-ha-ha-I uh...sorry Summer, I got stuff to do."

"Oh okay."

"I'm free tomorrow night." Jack turned around with a huge grin on his face.

"That sounds good, I'll see you tomorrow."

"You too Summer you too-hey, stay out of trouble."

"Ha, I'll try."

Summer headed to her private bathroom in her office. She washed her face off, and cringed on what she saw in the mirror.

"What's the matter Gleeson."

"Gasp! You!" she saw an image of Snakemaster in the mirror "What do you want?"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, of Winter, did you really think some shrinks over on Ashnault Island could really drive me out of your head? I'm always here baby, I never left."

"Humph, I'm not Winter Sherwood anymore-That ship sailed years ago, I'm Summer Gleeson now."

"Yeah, right, keep telling yourself that babycakes, let the shrinks at the looney farm control you."

"Erg, what do you want-listen to me, I'm talking to a mirror for pity sake!"

"Look, our old friend the Batman has spread his wings once more."

"The old Bat?"

"Yeah, he decided to relive the good old glory days...I think it's time we did too-and...I think we'll bring along the old gang, I happen to know old LaChance broke free, we can use her place as a hideout."

"Wait...how do you-you're inside my head!"

"I have my ways Winter."

"Either way I'm not going you can't make me-you're not even real!"

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that!"

"GAH!" suddenly, Summer found her eyes turn red, Snakemaster was taking over "No...no...NOOOOO-

"-Yesssssss...ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, now, to get the gang back together."

Gracie Maddox had just finished up with a client of here. The work day was near over

"Thanks again doc."

"Anytime Susan." the 40 year old blonde said in a happy voice. "Ah, feels good to help others." the door creaked open "Forget something sus-AAAAAN! AH! Snakemaster."

"Hey Clean...I got a lot of dirt here for ya."

"Dirt...no...stop. Wha-what are you doing-!"

"Just getting you back to your old shape that's all."

"No-Stop! NOT DIRT! NOOOOOO!"

Minutes later at Gotham Towers, inside the lobby, a rather large darker skinned man was directing the other bellhops what to do.

"Briggs careful with that luggage."

"Yes sir boss."

"Castillo drop the bag I'll drop you, that belongs to the queen."

"Nyahhhh!"

"No pressure though-Salvo! What are you doing?"

"I', sorry sir I was just-"

"Uh, Mr. Ansari?"

"Yes?"

"Call for you."

"Oh, alright." he walked into his adjacent office, his phone was off the hook, and several old pictures on his desk. "Ugh, do I hate my job, it's no fun, and I swear if it's that's dumbass from ebay, I told him I sent that package weeks ago-hello? . .. Hello...hello." no answer, Kareem shrugged and hung up "Huh, wrong number I guess. Hmm?" he noticed the old photos "My old mugshots...and these news-clippings-"

"Ring any bells, Ansari."

"Gasp!" he turned around "Maddox? Sherwood? Is that you?"

"You bet...The Great Kareem."

Over to Star Labs John was working at his lab, alone.

"Alright, formula is stabilizing, as it should." the brown haired man wrote on a piece of paper.

"_Dr. Eisenberg, a package for you." _the loudspeaker said

"Excellent, I sent for this weeks ago, I wonder if that big buffoon was able to send it, the door opened, and there the package was. "Bought time." he opened it. "What the, the micro watch." the gasses were then emitted "No...cough-cough, NOOOOO!"

"It's good to see you again...micro man."

Next to Gotham Central Hospital, Damon was just about to leave

"See ya Damon."

"Do-svidanya Matt!" he walked to his car. "Ha-ha, he was right, airplane food is funny." he then noticed a chill "Burrrr-when did it get so cold?" he then noticed "Gasp, you."

"Remind you of anything Damon...or should we say Permafrost?"

"But you...you...you are...cold-and...I-I..."

"You what?"

And over to a warehouse where Shadow was hiding out, in an all black suit, similar to Catwoman, but with eyes only, and her brown hair stuck out the back of the cowl. The house was also used by Gray and Pain.

"It's not much mind you but I'm sure you'll like the accommodations Ms. LaChance."

"Thanks Mr. Boyle, I think it'll work fine-"

"Uh Mistah G?"

"Yes what is it Harl?"

"Company."

"More-[CRASH]-what the!" he ran out of the loft, and starred down at the first floor below, to see a makeshift modified armored bank truck smash through the garage door. The villains stepped out. after maurading George Chamberlain from the zoo...that was far too graphic to even type.

"Who in Heaven?" Boyle asked

"Evening Gray Goblin, Nurse Pain, and Shadow."

"What in the-Snakemaster? Kareem, Clean Freak? Micro Man? Permafrost?"

"Friends of yours?" Gray asked

"Yes, but why are you here?"

"Just reliving the past. The only way guys like us know how...you in?"

Back at the Bat-Cave the Batmen were reminiscing about the past. While jamming to some guitar, Trent got anew one

"So that's when, she said-"

"Master Trent?"

"Yes, what is it Alfred."

"I think you're wanted at the-oh...M-Mayor Hill I uh...see you've found our little secret, but yes, I admit it, I am Batman."

"It's alright Alfred, he knows, and has for a very long time."

"Oh, so you're the great Vintage Batman?"

"That's right. I was there with the Terrible Trio, that's how Bridgette found out, and then in England, and with Hugo Strange and Clayface, and with that Booquet fiasco."

"Oh, interesting, well be that as it may I suggest the BOTH of you get down to police HQ right away, the Bat-Signal beckons."

"Well?"

"I'm free tonight."

"Excellent."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	178. ThrowBAT, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Both Bats landed atop the roof of police HQ, Chris awaited their arrival, joined he was by Courtney and Chef.

"Oh, I see the two of you were able to work together without slitting each others throats."

"Good to see you too Commissioner." V-Bat sighed

"Oh isn't this darling Chef." Courtney mused

"Yeah, a regular Freak Show."

"I know it's so great, both Batmen working together."

"Take a picture Montoya it'll last longer."

"GAAAASP! That's a great idea Chef!"

"[face palm]-Oh Brother!" Courtney presented him with the camera.

"Quick get a picture of me with the bros." The Biker Mice are here? That's not for like 2 seasons...anyhow Courtney got between the two and put her arms over their shoulders "Big smile now!" Chef aimed

"They're not gonna smile I hope you know that."

"Yeah were not going to smile."

"Yeah, no."

"Aw well that's just-[camera clicks-shutters]-Hey! Chef, I wasn't ready!"

"And I don't care-"

"HEY!" Chris hollered "We doing this thing or not?"

In his office joined by his Dad.

"Bullock! Montoya! Go do stuff." Chris ordered

"What!"

" Come on that's not fair!"

"I'm not running a fairness convention I'm running a police department, now MOVE!"

"Aw."

"You're no fun Commish." they walked out. Closing the door behind them

"Always good to have you back Ham." Jim said

"It's good to be back Jim."

"Alright, the both of you, especially you Mayor, recognize any faces?" Chris put up several blown up camera feeds on his board.

"Oh my God...Clean Freak? Snakemaster? Micro Man, Kareem? Shadow? Raven?"

"With Quinzel and Boyle, of course." Batman added

"All the old villains...I wonder why?" Jim asked

"I have an idea." V-Bat began "I observed Gleeson after she was reformed, one of the reasons why I wanted to be mayor. I know that deep down, Snakemaster is still in there...it was only a matter of time before she resurfaced."

"Well that's certainly a problem." Chris sighed

"Can you stop them?" Jim asked

"Never all at once, but there's two of us now."

"Plus a whole nother team." Batman added with a half smile.

"Excellent." Chris nodded

"You're gonna have to take them all down before they continue to terrorize the city."

"We know."

"Well move, make sure everyone is on cue and use whatever police resources you need, I want those heathens behind bars, post haste!" Chris ordered

"Now hand on Commissioner, they may be emmotionally distraught right now, but it'll pass, we just got kick the evil out of them for good...trust me, they'll be back to normal." V-Bat explained

"Sure, whatever normal is for them." Chris added, he took out a bottle of hairgel "Well, you're still here, move?"

"Right." they both exited, catching Chef and Courtney whose ears were against the door.

"Gah!"

"Ah." they landed on their asses

"Uh...s-s-stupid contact lens." courtney stammered

"Uh yeah how klutzy of you Montoya, here, I'll help ya." Chef gave her some assistance.

"Come on, let's go." Batman said

"You know you're both terrible liars?" Jim asked

"We know."

"Good."

"Now son...what's with the gel?"

"Shut-up! It's who I am Dad!" Chris scoffed, he exited the office, Jim sighed

"Ugggggh, that's my boy." he sighed regretfully.

Down on the streets, we go to you live from the ritzy plaza districts in Westbrook and Cherry Hill. Clean Freak was vacuuming up some fine jewelry, and washing the windows.

"My-my, this place really needed to be spruced up, and so did these jewels-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, thank you ladies and gentlemen, you have been a terrific audience." she dashed out.

Here's her look: picture an old school sexy maid's outfit, with a zoro eyes mask, and a horde of cleaning tools. Anyway Clean Freak ran out into the sidewalk of the plaza, and was joined by Shadow, but you know what she looks like.

"I tell you what LaChance, it's good to be back, boy I love jewels."

"I knew getting back in the swing of things would be good...not just for me, for all of us."

"AHHHHHHH!"

"RUN AWAY!"

"SO MANY DAMN CROWS!

"AND HE'S GOT RAVENS!"

Raven's birds exited a store looting it with it's money and contents, the crow suited middle aged dude stepped out as well, cash in hand

"Quoth the Raven! Never more. Good evening Ladies."

"Do you have to say that catchphrase every time you rob someplace?" Shadow asked

"Of course, it is my catchphrase." they saw Permafrost and Kareem dart forward carrying bags of cash.

"I missed the old days!" Permafrost cheered, a hearty laugh followed his outfit included, tight red Nike athletic clothing and a lot of cold guns, and a bandolier of cold grenades...yes, it's quite cold.

"So much more lucrative and more fun than my old job!" Kareem blared.

"Good to know!"

"What-[thwack!]" Kareem found his face full of Robin foot, and Permafrost got a fist full of Batgirl, the two roped in.

"Oh, the young bats." Raven sneered venomously "My Pretties, get ready for attack!" he ordered his birds. Batgirl and Robin simply laughed

"Oh no!"

"Oh gosh Robin, I'm so scared of a bunch of hasbin villains!"

"Watch out Batgirl! They might bore us with a history lesson!"

"ERG! I don't like being called old." Shadow sneered "I'm 38 thank you very much...I've been in and out of jail since I was 20."

"Ah!"

"Save the sob story for the girls at the rest home Grandma!"

"That's it! It's time to clean up your act!"

"OOOH!"

"Like were scared of a little vacuum!" they laughed, and got some Batarangs ready.

"Alright, we've had our fun." Robin said

"Tell you what, just put the stuff back, and hang up the cheesy dated costumes, and we'll call it square."

"NEVER!"

"We will never surrender!" Permafrost yelled

"Alright, suit yourself."

"Your funeral."

"Don't say we didn't warn ya."

"You bratty children must be put in your place!" Raven yelled

"Whoa easy there pops!"

"Don't bust an artery!"

"Or break a hip."

"That's it! I'm gonna-[crick]-ow, my hip!"

"George, I'll help y-[crick]-ow, my back!" Kareem fell.

"Wow, two down and we didn't even have to touch em!"

"The kids are right, we are old." Micro man sighed standing on top of Kareem's head.

"What! How can you say that-[chink]-OW!" they started to toss Batarangs

"Give it up you washed up villains!"

"We got enough crazies as it is!"

"Really, well thing's are about to get much crazier!" Disoriented, Clean Freak was able to vacuum Robin into her backpack.

"AHHHHH!" remember it's a cartoon, but it's top notch enough where there will be an explanation to explain it.

"ROBIN!"

"I love this molecular vacuum, breaks down molecules so I can sweep up, just about anything!"

"That's it! I'll-[thwack]" Batgirl was tackled to the ground by Shadow.

"Gasp!"

"I f*cked bitches like you in prison." she sneered licking her cheek.

"GAHHHHH!"

"Ha-ha, alright Clean let er rip!"

"With pleasure. " she vacuumed the disoriented Batgirl up

"That was so wrong." she yelled.

"Alright, that should do it, two Bat-loser's for the price of one!"

"You forgot one more Bat-Loser!" Nighthacker appeared, dressed as Nightwing

"Is that Nightwing?"

"I dunno Robin I CAN'T SEE!"

"Who are you?" Micro Man asked

"Who said that?"

"Down here?"

"Oh."

"Good distraction Johnny?"

"Huh?" he got vacuumed, without his chair "Aw come on!"

"And that's everyone."

"Not quite!"

"Oh what n-oh." V-Bat lande don their truck, just as Pain and Boyle arrived with stolen goods.

"Hey guys! Look what we stole! Mistah G got me this cool necklace!"

"And Harl stole me this nice Rolex!"

"Ahem!"

"Oh...V-Bat...heh-heh-WERE SCREWED!"

"No were not!"

"We'll see about that Raven!"

"Oh yes we will! My pretties-ATTACK!"

"OH CRAP!"

While V-Bat got pelted by birds, avoiding hip breakage Batman found Snakemaster across town, looting a bank safe. Her outfit was tight, gray and dark with a cowl, and a cobra around her shoulders.

"Yes my pretty. Soon, we will all have the money to start over."

"Hissssssssssss."

"I know I know."

"Hisssssssssss."

"Okay I get it."

"Ahem."

"Oh." she turned around

"HISSSSSSSS!"

"You were right to do that Bosco."

"Gleeson! You have to stand down!"

"Not a chance Batman! And it ain't Gleeson anymore-It's Winter Sherwood-THE SNAKEMASTER!"

"You were! But you found your sanity Summer...do you really want to lose that? All of that?"

"Shut it!"

"HISSSSSSSSSSS!"

"You're not taking me back to jail! I'm gonna rule this town! Me and all my old partners in crime! And you know something Batman?"

"What?"

"There's nothing you can do about it."

"Watch me."

"Oh...it's watched! Bosco! SICK HIM!" she launched her snake at him

"HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

"Gah!"

Batman jumped out of the way of the snake just enough for Snakemaster to kick him, she jumped out a nearby window!

"Until Next Time Batman! You've met your match-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Batman sighed disoriented, he stood up, a call came in."

"_Trent!"_

"Ugh, yeah?"

"_They got Batgirl, Robin, and Nighthacker?"_

"UGGGGGGGH!" he stood up angered

"_Oh don't worry about me I'm fine." _

"Ugh! Sorry, you alright Ham?"

"_Yeah I'm good, and here's more news, I think I know where they're headed...sorry I gotta get away from this area, it's a damn bird cemetery." _

"Okay, where are they headed."

"_Just meet me at the ferry-they're headed for their old stomping grounds...The Asylum, at Ashnault Island."_

**TO BE CONTINUED!**

**End of Season 8**

**Vignette dedicated to the memories of**

** Boyd Kirkland (1952-2011) Director  
**

**Hilary J. Bader (1952-2002) Writer, Director**

**Steve Gerber (1947-2008) Writer  
**

**May God bless you all in eternal rest...  
**

**Get more ready for more Throw-back action...and go Youtube 'Terry Tate: Office Linebacker' if you want some easy laughs. Enjoy, Review, and tip your waitresses. Gotta go.**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill/V-Bat

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Nightwing

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Detective Courtney Montoya

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Mari Devon: **Summer Gleeson/Snakemaster, various

**Mark Hamill: **Ferris Boyle/The Gray Goblin, various

**Arleen Sorkin: **Harleen Quinzel/Nurse Pain

**Richard Moll: **Kareem Ansari/Kareem

**Diane Pershing: **Gracie Maddox/Clean Freak, various

**John Glover: **John Eisenberg/Micro Man

**Adrienne Barbeau: **Scarlet LaChance/The Shadow, patient

**Henry Polic II: **Damon Brozdovich/Permafrost

**Paul Williams: **George Chamberlain III/The Raven

**Bob Hastings: **Jim Gordon

**Jeff Bennett: **Jack Ryder, additional voices

**Frank Welker: **Bosco, additional voices


	179. ThrowBAT, Part III

**Villain(s): Snakemaster, The Gray Goblin, Nurse Pain, Clean Freak, Kareem, The Raven, Shadow, Permafrost, Micro Man**

**Episode Archive: EAT SH*T! (Not really)**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Alan Burnett&Tom Ruegger**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini&Michael Reaves**

**Art Direction: Eric Radomski, Bruce Timm**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 87: Throw-BAT (Part II)**

It was early that following morning, a very-very-VERY unusually foggy morning about the ocean of the Atlantic. The lone ferry carrying the Batmen was en route to Ashnault Island, roughly 12 knots (7.5 miles) south of Long Island and Gotham City. The island was perhaps parallel with Sandy Hook New Jersey.

V-Bat stood at the bow of the ship starring off into the fog, whereas Batman, well-

"N-n-no-[vomits]-oh...I hate...rocky-b-boa-[vomits]" He looked up into the mirror above the toilet he was vomiting into. "Ugh, pull yourself together Trent...it's just water...really, churning...rocky...wa-wat-[vomits]-ugh, this sucks...it's for the kids...for the kids."

Batman splashed some water on his face. And looked in the other mirror.

"Pull yourself together Trent...it's only water...and a horde of aged emotionally unstable villaaains-[vomits]" right in the sink "Ugh...gross, who needs ipecac when you got waves?" he sauntered out of the bathroom, and found V-Bat on deck.

The fog started to lift, Ashnault Island was in the near distance, V-Bat had his lookers locked onto the place.

"You okay Trent?" he asked not even looking away

"Uh-yeah-yeah." he coughed, and got serious again "I'm sorry, it's a tad unprofessional to leave you here while I have my head halfway down a toilet."

"It's alright, I was just thinking of days gone by is all."

"Yeah...big island huh?"

"Yes, and were still a couple knots away, it's big believe me." V-Bat said looking over Batman's way.

"You know, we could have taken the Bat Boat and have been there twice as fast, and with less vomiting."

"They would have expected that. This ferry brings tours in and out all the time, that they won't expect, besides; where's the fun in doing things textbook?" V-Bat asked

"True."

They remained silent for a moment or so...Trent estimated it would be another 20 minutes before touchdown, the awkward was slowly setting in.

"So...?"

"So what?"

"You never told me...why did you become the Batman?" Batman asked another pause

. . .

"Like yourself, I lost my parents, I witnessed their murder, me and my brother, right in front of our eyes, in our own home...Do you remember Hugo Strange's lair?"

"Yeah."

"Believe it or not, that was my childhood home, I was young though; My older brother Theo sold the place afterwords I guess, I was able to repress the memory of the place but not the murder...wasn't easy for me going back there."

"Wow...So, you wanted to see your parents avenged...you became Batman?"

"I always liked bats...they were a scary and foreboding animal, seemed fitting."

"Nice."

"However, unlike you, my murderer was brought to his own justice, he died while holding up a cable car in Manhattan, it was that big accident that killed all 26 passengers on board years back."

"Yeah I remember that."

"Well, he certainly bit the bullet. A year or so later, I felt like all was good, my rogues were reformed, I started my campaign, and settled down with my wife and newborn son. We all came to the realization we were getting too old...I guess, some, didn't get the message."

"I guess."

"I think they really are not aware of their true actions right now Trent...Snakemaster is the psycho living inside Summer Gleeson's body...I think, I know what to do to make sure this doesn't happen again."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Alright, that's provided they do nothing to Geoff, Bridgette, and Cody."

"Oh, that goes without saying."

"Good." the ferry touched down at the dock.

The captain, an age old salty looking fellow joined them on the deck.

"Alright Batmen...welcome to Ashnault Island, the place for all the worlds most dangerous, dangerous criminal masterminds, were disembarking as soon as you get off, I would appreciate if you would be quick about it."

"Why's that?" Batman asked

"Are you nuts? The place is haunted-besides, with those old criminals at the place as you say...I'm not taking my chances gentlemen...look I'll be back to pick yous up at 5:30-on the nose...I should hope I'll be picking you up."

"Uh...that's...not reassuring." Batman groaned

"Come on, were burning daylight."

"Right."

The two disembarked and stared at the dated asylum atop the mountainous hill on said island. Several war torn buildings lined the dock area, then a road brought one to the asylum on the hill.

"Alright Ham, during my childhood and in traveling the world, I turned a blind eye to this place, what's it's story?" Batman asked

"Good question, this island used to be a Civil war POW camp, then we transitioned it to a fort in WWII, afterwords, Uncle Sam converted it into an asylum...for the nations toughest and most criminally insane psychos...meaning my rogues."

"What happened to the old place?"

"Arkham and Ashnault Asylums were always competing ever since Arkham opened in 1947, it was newer, more state of the art, and got more government funding...eventual budget cuts, and inadequate conditions closed this place...I think, maybe 13 years ago-had a good run."

"I don't mind saying, it does look like escape could be damn near impossible...it's like 12 miles to shore."

"They found a way...they always...found a way." V-Bat snarled "Alright Trent, this shouldn't be too hard, let's just...what's the phrase?"

"Uh...sh*t Cody says this all the time when he's playing Call of Duty...something about tires and fires-I dunno, it's kid sh*t anyway, let's go."

"Right, and I assume you are the last person I have to say this to, but stealth is key."

"You bet."

"Well alright then, let's go to work." V-Bat and Batman headed towards the hill leading them to Ashnault Asylum.

Inside the facility, atop the clocktower, which at the top floor was coincidentally an executioner's chamber, Snakemaster watch the two bats from the good vantage point it provided. Chained to the wall were the three young bats, and to her side was Micro-Man (full size) along with Nurse Pain and Permafrost.

"Hmm-hmm, right on schedule." Snakemaster turned to the three. "Well your boss clearly appreciates your safety...that and he is the stupidest man on the face of the earth." she smirked

"Is our Batman with him?" Permafrost asked

"Looks like him-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm." she chuckled evilly "How bout that kids, looks like your boss will get to witness your heads being chomped to death by Bosco here."

"Hisssssssssssssssss."

"Summer, we know you're not like this!" Batgirl pleaded

"Yeah dude, you're a gifted newscaster! You don't need this!" Nightwing added

"First off, never-ever-ever-EVER call me dude, and second...Summer Gleeson's gone-It's Winter Sherwood-The Snakemaster, the way it should have been!" she snarled

"HISSSSSSSSS!"

"Uh, crazy, party of one, your cell is ready." Robin joked

"ROBIN!"

"What! Shes nuts!"

"Yes and pissing her off to no end-IS NOT HELPING!" Batgirl fumed

"Well." Robin scoffed

"Sigh, I've had enough of this, Harleen, Damon, bring them to their cells, and get ready for the Bats squared." Snakemaster ordered

"Bats squared?" Pain asked

"Shut-up, I don't write this crap! How does one kid from West New Jersey manage to spend months on this low budget crap! I mean what is this! Is it Batman: the Animated Series or is it a spoof? Sometimes were serious, other times, were throwing pies at each other!"

"_What the f-who wrote this? Paul...Mike? Andrea!"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Where's the two stooges, their asses have got my foot's name on them."_

"_Kurtwood Smith much?"_

"_Zip it Kristen!"_

"_Nick, were kinda in a recording session, for your show."_

"_I'm painfully aware of that, I just heard Mari's lines-which were NOT in my screenplay! Who futzed that up? It was either Paul or Mike?"_

"_Uh...i remember Paul saying something bout tweaking the script...for comedic purposes?"_

"_Thanks Arleen." _

"_There, have your answer?"_

"_Yes, thank you Andrea-PAUL!"_

"_Hey, what's going on-oh...ya heard the line didn't ya...Well, uh; gotta go edit those other scripts."_

"_Dammit Paul! Ugh, alright let's get to it."_

"_Alright Arleen, take it from Did someone say pie-lotta enthusiasm honey!" _

"Did someone say pie?"

"No Pain, just...just...sigh, take them to their cells, and then brace for impact."

"You're not going to get away with this Snakemaster!" Batgirl yelped

"Oh save the Kim Possible bullsh*t for someone who cares Bratgirl...you'll see...soon the whole city will see." she starred out of the window, as the three were dragged away. "Soon the whole city will see..."

The Batmen climbed a tree which overlooked the whole complex. It was three buildings, one at the far end, two parallel diagonally on either side, joined by a quad...er-tri, a large fence kept everything orderly...sorta.

"Alright, the place in the middle with the clocktower is our best bet, that's got the administration and all of that stuff, the boys ward is directly in front of us in this tree, the girl's ward, is that other building." V-Bat explained

"Rules of engagement?" Batman asked

"Divide and conquer."

"Your the boss." he shrugged

The two sneaked into a broken window near the tree branch they stood on. It was a common area in the boys dorm, the whole place was eerie, like something out of...well, Shutter Island.

"Okay, there's tunnels that connects this facility to the other three underground, I know them like my backyard."

"Alright, take those."

"But what'll you do?"

"Make my own way." Batman smirked

"Excellent."

Batman found a window and saw Kareem and Gray standing in the middle of the quad outside. He launched a Batarang to a nearby tree, and swung for impact

"AHHHHHHH!"

"Oh...he mad."

"Aw shi-[oof]" he knocked them both to the ground. Kareem quickly staggered to his feet.

"That's it! I've had it with this new Bat! Time for-[crick]-OW! Sonofabitch! Damn trick knee!"

"Ugh." Gray frowned

"A valiant effort gentlemen." Batman turned to the admin building to see Raven, surrounded by his birds. "But for sheer criminal handiwork, you know I aim to please-"

"Oh George save the fancy-pants sh*t for the avian convention, and just sick em!" Kareem groaned

"Ugh, fine."

"_Hold on there Georgy!" _

"Gleeson." Batman sneered hearing her over an intercom

"_Greetings Batmen and welcome to Ashnault, just thought you should know, that there is a bomb somewhere in this complex, big enough to destroy the place! As for your team, they're safely locked away, but I must warn you, that baby will erupt in a mere 30 minutes, you better hurry!"_

"Gleeson, you're nuts!"

"_I know, how Two-Face of me-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm."_

"What!"

"What about us!"

"_Keep him busy then get to the boats you idiots! It's the way we've escaped all the time. Good luck Batmen...I'll weep for you-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" end transmission_

**To Be Continued...**

**Quick note, yours truly has decided he will be attending the prestigious Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre PA this fall, if you are or know someone that is attending or will attend, guess what? Niko's coming to town! Alright review and all that such, big finish up next! **


	180. ThrowBAT, Part IV

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Batman looked at the villains starring him down, it looked like the end...but, as you all know, it ain't, I mean c'mon, he's Batman.

"Any last words you caped crusading nuisance?" Raven asked

"And make it quick Batzy, were on the clock if you catch my drift-ha-ha-ha-ha." Gray chuckled

"I don't think so! I'm stopping that bomb! And stopping all of you!"

"Not a chance Bat-Boy, you're way outnumbered! Just look around!" Kareem urged him "You got me, Boyle, Shadow and Clean Freak...Where's Micro and Frost?"

"Were here." they exited the right building

"Girls dorm." Batman said to himself

"And don't forget the Pain!" she flipped in and kicked Bats in the face

"Ugh!" he got to his feet rather quickly.

"And if you count George and his birds, well; you have a whole army to deal with." Shadow smirked.

"My pretties, tonight you feast on bat! Attack!"

"Aw jeez." Batman quickly threw down a smoke pellet of two.

"Dammit!"

"Sonofabitch!"

"Where'd he go?"

"Uh..." Clean Freak noticed Batman scale the fence "He went that way!" she yelled.

"Come on let's get him!"

"My Pretties, follow me!" Raven ordered "We'll find the Batman first!"

"In your dreams Georgy!" Kareem smield, he opened the huge iron gate "But I'll let you get the first shot."

"Humph, how charming of you Ansari."

Batman sprinted blindingly through the woods, the trees in the forest were so rainforest dense, the sun didn't penetrate all the way down to the bottom. So it looked quite dark, and with the fog not completely lifted, it just made it that much more eerie.

"Ugh-shi-oof!" Batman tripped over a rock. "Ugh, I bet Ham never had these problems. Guess I'm gonna have to scare the crazy out...of...oh that's brilliant." he stood up, and hid behind a tree, with a Batarang ready to strike the unluckiest.

"Batman...yoo-hoo, oh Batman?" That unlucky bastard was Kareem. "Come out and take your lumps sonny!"

"Sonny? Who are you my grandpa?" Batman chuckled

"Yeah, I'm your grandpa! The grandpa that's kick your bat ass!"

"You-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha—ha-ha-ha-ha-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Let your jaws drop ladies and gents, he's laughing. "You know-" he hid in the fog "I was actually starting to get afraid of you all, apparently you guys haven't lost your luster...but now I realize...ha-ha-ha, you're just a bunch old bums! Who let your feeble minds get brainwashed by the Snakemaster. Is that it Ansari am I in the ballpark?"

"S-SHUT-UP! And was that your laugh...YOU, laughed! YOU! You never laugh!"

"You hear that little pinch inside your brain Ansari? It's snapping, it wants to return to normal, but the crazy half wants to break me and V-Bat in two-"

"STOP IT! First you chuckle like a madman or Joker, and now you fill my head with delusions of grandeur? Where does YOUR insanity end?"

"Never has a beginning...no need for an ending."

"No...NO! I like this life! It's far better than...than...GRR! You're confusing me!"

"That's the idea isn't it? Breakdown the craziness, until your normal again."

"You won't break me Bats! I'm a rock Baby! A freakin' ROCK!"

"Really." Batman appeared not far behind him "You know what they say about rocks right?"

"What?" Kareem snarled looking around

"They can be broken."

"What's that supposed to me-[crack]" the Batarang was launched at the back of his head "OWWWW! Got a headache!" he turned around to see the Bat.

"Still here Ansari."

"Why you miserable little" he raised his arms to pound "I outta-[CRACK]-"

_-Shanghai China-_

_Highrise condominium, early evening_

"_Honey, how was work?"_

"_I HATE-A MY BOSS!"_

"_Oh, honey-"_

"_He's such a prick! Work-a harder he says-HA! I work-a harder then-a every one of dos losers at da office!"_

"_Oh it's okay baby-look, I made you dinner, and, it's on balcony, so you can marvel at da sunset."_

"_Ah, thanks a baby, that would make me feel better..."_

"_Feeling better."_

"_Ah, yes, I am a feeling better already." _

"_You know, perhaps this weekend, we visit the mountains."_

"_You know a what that sounds gre-"_

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"_You hear-a that?"_

"_I did sweetie...humph, with any luck it's my-a boss."_

_-Ashnault Island-_

"OWWWW! My back! My freakin back!" Kareem hit the floor Batman stood above him

"Well?"

"I'm-I'm...I'm sorry Batman...I'm sorry...sorry."

"It's okay." Batman dashed away, as Kareem laid in pain sobbing.

Speaking of pain and the others, they found him, still crying, not long later.

"Kareem! What happened?" Raven asked

"Are you alright?" Permafrost asked

"Speak to us man!"

"He's in...cemetery," Kareem pointed...still crying to the old cemetery maybe half a football field in front of them.

"Oh great." Shadow sighed

Meanwhile V-Bat found himself in the girls ward, it was still very creepy, somehow he knew he was in the right place, this was confirmed with a call over the radio.

"_Ham."_

"Go ahead Batman."

"_I think the kids are imprisoned in the girls ward...call it a hunch."_

"Really, and when did you come up with that really brilliant, and well thought out hunch?"

"_I saw Brozdovich and Eisenberg leave when all the other villains were at the quad, perhaps they checked on them."_

"Conveniently enough, I'm there now, I'll keep you posted if I find anything, and if do, you'll be the first to know."

"_Fantastic."_

"So, how do you like my old rogues?"

"_Cake, just a little reverse psychology is just what the doctor ordered, I gotta go." end transmission_

V-Bat then heard thumping on the second floor.

"Maybe he's right." he climbed the stairs and checked the cell block in that hallway "Whose up here? Batgirl? Robin? Nightwing?"

"V-Bat?"

"V-Bat! Over here man!"

"Guys! Good you're all in one place." he saw the young bats clenched to the bars in their cells, they were in fact quite beaten. "You guys okay?" V-Bat asked

"We've been worse." Batgirl snarled

"Just make sure you whack those old fart creeps will ya!" Nightwing jeered on the floor. "I'd kill em."

"Don't worry, all will be well, but I can't get you out now, those bars are pure iron and forged steel, true American ingenuity, I'll need the key."

"Gleeson has it." Robin informed him

"Excellent, now all that's left to do is find Gleeson-"

"HISSSSSSSSSS!" her snake appeared not too far down the hall

"Gasp! That's her snake Bosco!"

"HISSSSSSSSS!" it slithered in the opposite direction.

"I think it wants you to follow it?" Batgirl pondered

"I think your right, it should lead me right to Gleeson...I'll be back!" V-Bat followed the snake.

Bosco had led V-Bat to the huge common room for the ward, there standing near a window, was the Snakemaster. Bosco slthered around her shoulders.

"It's been a long time V-Bat."

"Too long Snakemaster. And now, it's over...FOR good!"

"Aw now-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! But why! I'm having far too much fun."

"Do you really want it to end the hard way?"

"If that's what it has to be?"

"Then let's end THIS!"

Back at the cemetery Batman had just finished subduing Clean Freak and Permafrost, the last two old school villains (excluding Pain and Gray) who were already subdued.

"He's right...my zoo job is perfect...plus I can't possibly afford another aneurism." Raven sobbed

"Yeah...and I don't mind dirt and grime and limescale...that much-but waste I draw the line!" Clean Freak insisted

"Don't we all Maddox."

"Being small really does have little benefits...I enjoy being 5' 11"." Micro Man added

"I'm starting to hate the cold, In Russia IT'S ALWAYS COLD!" Permafrost boomed "Plus my pacemaker is starting to give out, and this steel plate in my sternum is a tad bent."

"Yeah, and my high blood-pressure is kicking in." Clean Freak added

"Jeez Bats, who took a dukey in your oatmeal this morning?" Gray asked

"Seriously B-Man."

"Knock it off you two-Alright!" he addressed the others still in pain "Is there anyone who still wants to listen to the Psycho Snakemaster?" all heads shook. "Good, now who am I missing?"

"Me...the only person here who's never tested their blood glucose, taken heart medication, or needed an organ transplant...other than you of course." she smirked from atop a mausoleum.

"Organ trans-I'm 27!" Pain blared "And another-Zzzzzzzzzz."

"Or narcoleptic." Shadow added

"Oh that that reminds me-Kareem! Thanks once more for that kidney!" Raven called

"No problem!" Kareem groaned off in the distance.

"Alright Batman, let's settle this."

"You first!"

"What doesn't even make-you know what never mind!" she leaped, and the two engaged in hand-to hand grappling.

Back in the asylum, so did V-Bat and Snakemaster. Bats was certainly giving her the old what for! Or at least the Opfor.

"Give it up Gleeson!" he yelled throwing Bosco off of him

"NEVER!"

"Summer, I know you're in there somewhere, you just gotta fight it!"

"NO!"

"Fight it!"

"N-n...I..I"

"Good Summer! Finish Snakemaster off for good!"

"Never...shes never-AH-you fool! You can't go back to being a one-shot loser! You need me Summer...No...I...DON'T!"

CRASH

Batman threw Shadow right into the stone door of the mausoleum. She looked up at something beeping

"You know what, this is a waste of time-oh...guys, found the bomb!"

"You did!" Batman ran inside "Sh*t, it's a micro-pulse."

"Can you defuse it?" Shadow asked

"Yeah if I had 20 minutes, which I don't, we got 5! we gotta get out of here!" the villains staggered to their feet. Then Batman heard the fog horn of the ferry.

"The ferry's here?"

"It's usually at 5:30?"

"Yeah, it's 25 after now I've been chasing you all day! Come on! We gotta go!" they ran as fast as they could towards the docks.

"V-Bat!"

. . .

"I'm glad shes finally gone."

"You did it Summer, you beat her." they approached the kids cells.

"Well someone looks normal." Batgirl smiled exiting her cell

"Don't worry, shes gone...and shes never coming back...so, I guess the next step is Arkham right?"

"Maybe not, after all you-"

"_V-Bat! The bomb it's in the cemetery, it's gonna blow, do something, just get everyone out of there! Were at the ferry, you got less than a minute!"_

"That's not good."

"This is!" he activated his Bat-jetpack. "Grab on!" everyone got a piece of V-Bat and they rocketed towards a window, crashing through it and sent them on a trip off the island

. . .

"Well, I trust your search was fruitf-

"Doc! Start the engine!"

"What!" the captain asked

"Start the engine doc!"

"It's ready to go what are you!"

"JUST GO ALREADY!" everyone jumped aboard the ship quickly started to drive away-[BOOOOOM] The explosion rocked the island, destroying everything on that hill. Batman did get a good view of V-Bat rocketing towards them with everyone grabbing on for dear life. He dropped them on the ferry,

"Whew. Too close."

"Yeah."

"Well, leave them all back to their lives, all except for LaChance, Boyle and Quinzel...I't's been an honor Batman...right now buddy...I gotta fly."

"Why?"

"Maybe...it's a midlife crisis! Catch ya later! YAH-HOOOOO!" as he flew away, Foo Fighter's My Hero plays off in the distance, as we fade to black...And Bosco was never heard from again

**The End!**

**More Sierra up next! REVIEW! and stay tuned! Catch ya later!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill/V-Bat

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl, Herself

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Nightwing

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Mari Devon: **Summer Gleeson/Snakemaster

**Mark Hamill: **Ferris Boyle/The Gray Goblin

**Diane Pershing: **Gracie Maddox/Clean Freak

**Richard Moll: **Kareem Ansari/Kareem

**Paul Williams: **George Chamberlain III: The Raven

**Henry Polic II: **Damon Brozdovich/Permafrost

**Arleen Sorkin: **Harleen Quinzel/Nurse Pain, Herself

**Adrienne Barbeau: **Scarlet LaChance/The Shadow

**John Glover: **Jon Eisenberg/Micro Man

**Frank Welker: **Bosco the snake (sorry for his untimly death Sparking Nexis137)

**Daran Norris: **Doc the Ferry Captain

**Keone Young: **Chinese Man

**Lauren Tom: **Chinese Woman

**Andrea Romano: **Herself

**Niko56: **Myself

**Paul Dini: **Himself


	181. Flame In Your Heart, Part I

**Villain(s): Firefly, Roland Daggett Featuring: Catwoman, Heather Al Ghul**

**Episode loosely based off of: Appointment in Crime Ally (1992)**

**Written By: Gerry Conway**

**Directed By: Boyd Kirkland**

**. . .**

**Story By: Sparkling-Nexis137**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Eric Radomski**

**Teleplay By: Rich Fogel&Kevin Altieri**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 88: Flame In Your Heart**

In his fancy pants corporate office, Roland Daggett stands at a window, and looks out into Gotham City...Park Row to be exact.

"Alright Lynns, normally I would use my other inside woman on a job like this...but, as she is still incarcerated and you'll work for beans, I think we can make this work.

"I feel the same way Mr. Daggett." Firefly said, obscured form view. Daggett turned away from the window, facing her

"Well good, also this plan of mine does fall in good with your...unique talents."

"I know." she stood up "But I'm going to need to see those building's again, just to make sure."

"Good." Daggett walked over to a table, set up with a 3-D map of Park Row. "Alright, this table is Crime Ally in it's entirety."

"Okay."

"Alright, I EVERY building on this block here, 134th street, and Gravesend avenue, are your target blocks, I want every building up in smoke right before I send my bill to the zoning board to have that area cut off for my new mega mall."

"No problem Mr Dag-"

"And let me be perfectly clear Firelfy." he got right in her face "Under NO circumstances are you to do ANYTHING to ANY other buildings ANYwhere else? GOT IT?"

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-yes sir." he got away

"Good, these buildings are condemned, there's no one living in em, at least I hope, but those damn pricks in Crime Ally say these buildings are a historical landmark or some sh*t like that. And they've been denying my progress for months. They want to preserve them, try and spruce them up so folks can live in them-who cares! I want them in ashes."

"Easy."

"Plus, I know you have your own plans for those ruins."

"Yes." Firefly cooed, she took out a picture of Robin, and hugged it "I know exactly what I want to do with those buildings as they blow up."

"Good, just make sure nothing goes wrong, and most importantly it can't be traced back to me, capice?"

"Oh you bet Mr. Daggett."

"Perfect, my men and any Daggett resource you may need are at your service should you need them, all you gotta do is call."

"Alrighty-"

"Oh and Ms. Lynns." Daggett said just as she was about to leave

"Yes Mr. Daggett?"

"I may be a crooked businessman...but let me offer you this tidbit of advice...it might seem easy at first to blow up a building inhabited...but you got to blow up that building and live with that conscience for the rest of your life...I should hope you have the semblance of eviction beforehand in mind?"

"Can it be forced?"

"Ha-ha-ha, that's the idea isn't it? But I warn you...if any civilian meets Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates tonight by your hands...it's on you."

"Wow...that is the most off model thing a villain has ever or could ever say." Firefly said completely shooting that moment right in the ass.

"I'm painfully aware of that, I also say that cause I don't wanna mega mall with a ton of dead bodies buried underneath! There! That on model for ya!" he shouted

"Y-y-y-y-yes."

"Good! Now scram!"

"Yes sir!" Firefly dashed out the office door. Daggett turned to the window.

"Sweet kid-deranged, cooky, sick in the head, ditzy, but still sweet."

Speaking of Park Row, Batman was standing at his parent's death...spot, with Leslie Tompkins.

"And so...I hope God shines down on yet, another valentines day."

"Yes...so do I..." Batman turned to Leslie "Come on."

The two walked down an ally.

"So, you wanted our anniversary quite early this year, what's the occasion?"

"Two psycho, escaped fugitives asked me to a mountain retreat tonight and this weekend in the Catskills, separate homes, and each thinks they get me all to myself." Batman explained drying off his tears.

"And what did you tell them?" Leslie smiled

"Yes." Leslie looked at him confused

"What?"

"It's alright Les I got it all figured out."

"You do?"

"I do?"

"You do?" she retorted still unsure

"I do."

"Alright, enlighten me."

"See Gwen and Heather got a mountain house, each directly across the lake from each other-"

"Oh no..." Leslie saw this abortion coming a mile away "You aren't?"

"There's a rowboat at the dock by Gwen's so I'll go up with her, and just tell Heather I'm meeting her there."

"And you think you can just row back and forth whenever you want, and somehow spend time with the two of them?"

"...In a nutshell."

"Ugh." Leslie rubbed her temples as a migraine slowly settled itself in "If your father were alive he'd smack you upside the head. This plan has more kinks and conflicts in it than an average American Dad story line."

"Well I gotta make it work, and at the end, win lose or draw...both girls get to bitch about it in Arkham, where they belong. Now if you'll excuse me Leslie, I have to go meet Gwen." he shot a bat hook at a building and swung away. Leslie shook her head, smiled, then looked up at the sky "Dear God, bless young Trent Wayne before he goes and does something completely foolish...and when he does, make sure there's a moderately happy ending...amen." she walked away.

Batgirl and V-Bat were swinging not too far from Park Row, they had landed near a building.

"So lemme get this straight." Batgirl started to laugh "She kidnaps you, strips you down, washes your uniform, and gives you a shower?"

"Dumbass never took off the cowl...but, that's Clean Freak for ya...man did she ever keep a clean lair, always was the sweet scent of lilac and vanilla-[sniff]-ah."

"Hmm-hmm, Ham you had some f*cked up villains." Batgirl chuckled, she aimed her bat hook at a nearby building

"Oh yeah and like yours are all hunky-dory run-of-the-mill crooks too." they swung to another building.

"Hey, at least I never had to fight a villain that made certain a crime scene had freshly mopped floors before robbing it."

"Yeah, that was-"

"Or-or-or, ooh I like small things, I'll go steal some." they landed on said building.

"Face it, they're all in the same...Raven and Penguin, except George has no management experience of any kind unlike Owen, Shadow and Catwoman, okay Scarlet's a sick puppy, I see that, Clean Freak and Poison Ivy-get real, they were separated at birth! Just like Permafrost and Freeze...except...Tyler is normal-where is he?"

"He and his life are chryo-something or other doctors for Wayne Enterprises."

"Ha-ha, figures he gives them jobs. But the point is, our villains were cut from the same cloth."

"Half your villains need a pacemaker of diabetes medication, and hey! What about our comparison, you're in your 40's old man, you're hardly catching up with me!" she smirked launching a hook at a taller building

"You know I could bring up your short comings, but I'll be the bigger man, as always."

"Like what?" they swung

"How bout when Ivy kissed you?"

"Shes a dyke who wanted to use that lipstick to me and Trent, what did you expe-how did you know that anyway?"

"We exchange stories."

"That bastard, he said he would never tell anyone!"

"Oh, or how about the time, Shadow licked your face."

"Hey man she is f*cked up!" they landed on the roof.

"Or...what about the time that was totally off the record?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the time Ivy kidnapped Bridgette Gordon and used some weird plant formula to make her I.E you her sex slave?" V-Bat then caught himself "Oh...i-I'm sorry Bridgette, I houldn't have opened that wound up."

"Ham what are you even talking about?"

"What you don't reme-oh that's right you wouldn't remember, she made you forget everything."

"What? What is this?"

"Uh-you know we probably should-"

"_Hey guys, you are aware we are on THE SAME CHANNEL! And I can hear every sick word you're saying!" Robin groaned_

"Sorry Cody." V-Bat said "How are things on your end?"

"_Well I'm in Park Row at the moment, nothing really to report-[BOOOOOM-Crumble-crumble-CRASH]-...never mind."_

"Cody what the hell was that?"

"Building across the street, just imploded."

"_Were on our way."_

"Good." Cody went to go check it out

. . .

"Building in Crime Ally just bit the dust, let's go."

"Okay, just riddle me one thing...WHAT DID IVY DO TO ME?"

"Classified, move it!"

"Seriously, I was her slave?"

"Ugh, why the hell did I bring that up for-stupid!"

Robin looked over the rubble, several locals, including Dr. Tompkins joined in

"Robin!"

"Robin what happened?"

"Ah, building fell...it was condemned, looks like there was no one in it."

"Whew."

"Oh thank Heaven."

"Well, hello, what's this." Cody picked up a flier from the rubble, which read "For my sweet little Robin: Cody...Oh-SHIT!"

"What's wrong Robin?"

"I know who's responsible for this! Firefly! Don't you touch those pamphlets!" Robin quickly gathered them all up.

"Hey, this building in it's current demolished state, kinda looks like...a...giant C." a guy said

"Oh...no. It's starting." Robin's eyes went wide.

"You know, I don't think it's Firefly Robin." Leslie stated

"You don't?"

"I don't...It's Roland Daggett!"

"Of course! He wants to build that damn new mall of his!"

"And we said no!"

"Now he's doing it the evil way, we have to stop him!" Leslie yelled -[BOOOOOOM] two more near by buildings fell. "Before it's too late."

Meanwhile Stan-I mean Trent and Francine-I mean Gwen just entered their awesome mountain vacation home.

"Gasp...wow, it's better then I had hoped." Gwen smiled

"Gotta say Gwen you sure did a nice job picking a house."

"Thanks, even Catwoman has her day in the spotlight."

"Yeah easy there frisky, we got all the time in the world...just you and me." he hugged her close "It's just the two of us, and I am here for you...gotta go."

"Go?" Gwen's smile faded "Where you going?"

"Uh, firewood of course."

"Oh yeah, we certainly need some of that, I'm getting chilly."

"Yeah me too, I'll be right back." Trent left the house and looked up at the sky "Gimme some sort of sign, anything...plop Joker right here, so at least I got someone to be pissed at and my time properly occupied!" Trent jumped into the boat, and rowed across the lake. He ran into the cabin to hear soft music playing, and Heather laying in a lingerie outfit on the bed, with two champagne glasses

"Beloved...I was hoping you would get here." she said seductively

"Hey Heather, sorry I'm late."

"Are you...out of breath."

"Yeah from-from-" Rowing "From running...all the way here to see you."

"Well, wait no further, let's get started.

**To Be Continued...**

**Alright, who wants to be the 600th Review...c'mon you know it's gonna be you, or is it? ;)**

**Anyway, calling ALL talent, I need ideas for the spinoff! New original ideas, or even scripts for he next hit niko56 fanfic! I don't care if it's an idea, a concept, a treatment, hell you can write me a whole damn screenplay if you feel so inclined, but I NEED ideas. So get those creative juices pumping, and thank you. Review please, oh and can story ideas be sent to me via PM.**


	182. Flame In Your Heart, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Trent woke up in Gwen's bedroom, as he managed to spend a majority of the evening sleeping in her cabin...being awake most of the evenings he was quite used to this.

"Yawn..." Gwen looked over at Trent "Hey you."

"Good morning Gwen."

"Hmm, I guess you must have got back from firewood after I went to bed."

"Uh, yeah, that's it."

"Yawn." Gwen stood up and looked out the window. "You know it's nice to get out of the city, just the two of us."

"Yeah, two of us."

"Us and no one else."

"Oh yeah, just us alright." Trent quickly got dressed in cargo pants and a turtleneck. "Hey I got an idea, I'll make us some breakfast, and...I'll go get more firewood!"

"But we got-[slam]...plenty." Gwen shrugged "Oh well, breakfast it is."

Trent rowed across the lake to Heather's cabin, and ran in, again out of breath

"Beloved!"

"Pant...hey...pant...hey-Heather."

"Come on in." she sat him down "You must have been tired from your hike, so I made you breakfast."

"Oh Goodie, breakfast sounds really good."

The two sat down to eat, Trent ate all his food extra fast

"Hmm, long hike?"

"Yes! Yeah that's why I woke up EXTRA early-hiked the whole Catskill mountains -[Hearty breath]-invigorating."

Later the two sat down and skimmed through some movies Heather brought.

"You know, I hindsight maybe I should have thought of a better selection."

"No these are ok-[IDEA]-you're right, these do suck! And I am gonna go 15 miles to town to that Blockbuster, and go rent a good movie-oh no-no Heather, don't get up, I got this."

"Oh, okay then." Trent got up to leave "Oh, I wanna see something with Matthew Broderick!"

"Got it: Ferris Bueller's Day Off."

"Naw I wanna see something better."

"Got it: nothing-[slam]"

Back in Gotham, it was about noon, the Bat team was waking up in one of the abandoned apartments in one of the abandoned buildings, assuming Firefly wouldn't demolish it during the day.

"Yawn." Robin awoke to the sound of a wailing police siren. He approached the nearest window, the demolished buildings were in the shape of a C, an O, and a D. "That bitch is totally gonna blow my secret...and shes doing it with the perfect freaking plan."

"Yawn." Batgirl awoke and joined him "Morning squirt." she looked at the wreckage "Oh yeah you're screwed."

"Not if we find her." Robin turned away from the window. "You know where Sara is by chance?" he asked sitting at the breakfast nook

"Hell if I know shes your ball and chain."

"Where's yours?"

"If he's smart, eating breakfast."

"Zzzzzzzzz." they looked at a sleeping mayor Hill, uncowled, on the couch.

"You know, after suffering with his rogues...I sudden realize how old 42 actually is." Batgirl sighed

"We gotta wake him up, and by we I mean you." Robin walked towards the window, and launched a bat hook an adjacent building

"Wait!" Batgirl stopped him "What are you gonna do?"

"Find Sara...best case scenario, she finds Sierra first, we make out, crazy bitch goes back to Arkham."

"And worst case?"

"Well then shes dead, and Sierra succeeds." he swung towards the building.

"Ugh, that's not reassuring." Batgirl said shaking her head.

"Zzzzzzzz." she turned to the sleeping Bat, and found a shoe. "Yo pops-[plop]"

"Zzz-huh?"

"Time to get up."

"Ugh." Hill sat up, and rolled his eyes. "Hey pops get up?" he retorted "You know in my day we respected our elders...which is sad considering I'm barely old enough to be your dad."

"Just get up Ham." Batgirl chuckled

"Ugh, I've had some uncomfortable nights sleeps before, but that one took the cake." he stood up and cracked his back "Anymore untimely demolitions while we slept?"

"No thank God, I guess she'll strike at night."

"You really think Roland Daggett would sink this low in to getting that stupid mega mall of his?"

"Eh, six to one, half dozen of another."

"Where's Lover Boy?"

"Looking for Lover Girl, and at the same time Firefly."

"Well, we should too-[stomach growls]"

"But not on an empty stomach." Batgirl suggested

"Brunch sounds good?"

"Brunch? Do you see British or Lesbian tattooed on my forehead-DON'T go there, were having lunch, like normal people!"

"Well pardon me." Ham rolled his eyes. Batgirl looked out the window "Oh hey, White Castle next block over."

"White Castle? Are you nuts?"

"What? You don't like White Castle?" she turned around

"No! They're food is loaded with grease, and you have to eat like 20 sliders before your filled."

"I know! It's the perfect munchie food!" (Bridgette Gordon is NOT a vegetarian...not sure if I ever said that but...she ain't in MY show.)

"I'm not eating that grease on a bun-end of story!"

"Okay Mr. Mayor, where do you want to eat?"

"Hmm."

. . .

"For Monsieur Mayor Hill, zhe frog legs, and for Madame Gordon, zhe cheeseburger and french fries, bon appetite." Bridgette looked at Mayor Hill with such disdain

"What?"

"Che fancy? One of the fanciest restaurants in town?"

"Yes."

"Where the portions are so small they could rival White Castle?"

"Hey, this is quality food."

"Oh." Bridgette slumped into her seat "I feel so out of place here."

"Just sit up and eat your food."

"Fine." she scoffed and took a bite of her burger "Alright, the building rubble reads COD."

"Assuming she wants to spell Cody, right?"

"Yeah...there's more buildings though, what's she trying to spell?"

"We'll find out later won't we?"

"Yeah...wait a minute."

"What is it?"

"Sierra...just blowing up a building is cool and all...but it lacks the pyrotechnics shes known for."

"So, what do you think?"

"I think those "letters" are gonna get blown away just a little bit more once everything's said and done."

"Hmm...i like your style of thinking Batgirl."

Robin was atop another condemned building looking down at Park Row

"Come on Sierra, if there was ever a time for a clue, it would be now." he grunted He would get his answer, Firefly was in an adjacent building, floors below, in an apartment, rigging it to blow. She was alone...or so she thought

"Okay Mister detonator cord, just need to attach you to this Bangalore of TNT, then you Miss...other, det cord gets stuck on to this brick of Semtex and these bricks or compact explosive number 4." (Which is the technical name of C4) "And-perfect." she smiled "Won't be long now before I prove to my sweet-sweet Codykins just how much I wuv him."

"Doubt it." a familiar voice rang out

"Huh!" she grabbed her compact flame thrower "Whose there! Did Daggett send you...I hope?"

"Nope guess again."

"Uh...Batman?" she asked nervously

"Ugh, God you're retarded-It's me you dunce!" the figure arose from behind the old lazyboy holding Akimbo Glocks.

"Gasp! Rhinehart!"

"Afternoon Lynns, up to your old tricks I see."

"Could say the same about you Miss NRA Woman of the Year!"

"Sh-Shut-up! My parent's got me these Glocks for my 10th birthday...and they died exactly 1 year later!"

"Oh...I'm so...I'm sorry...TOO BAD I DON'T CARE!" she fired off a few flame bursts her way. Exterminator responded by doing some crazy Matrix sh*t, and fired a few rounds while she dodged.

"Ah are you crazy!" Firefly yelled

"That's what it says on my dossier."

"You can't be shooting this place up it's rigged to blow!"

"Look who's talking!"

Robin noticed fire coming out from the window.

"Well, that's suspicious." he jumped in. Firefly kicked Exterminator down

"Ha! You're no match for me Rhinehart! Soon my Codykins is gonna see that I'm the better girlfriend! You see, I'm not just blowing up these buildings for Daggett, Once the final building-that old hotel explodes, each building spot will erupt in a fiery explosion, the letters will read: Cody I love you! That'll prove something dontcha think?"

"Yeah, that you're a psycho!"

"Gasp!" Firelfy turned around to see Robin at the window sill.

"Cody!"

"CODYKINS!" [chink] a batarang hit her in the head, Robin grabbed Exterminator and headed for the window, he shot a batarang at his previous building, and the two swung away. "Erg! You can run, but neither of you can hide." she started her jet pack and flew out. "Let me jst destroy what's left of my inventory, except the hotel that is-ha-ha-ha." she pressed the detonator button.

. . .

"Ah, well you certainly know how to make an entrance." Ex said

"Thank you-[BOOOOOM]-what the f*ck-oh SHIIIIIT!" their building and the others started to implode.

"Dammit dammit dammit!"

"Ahhhhhhhh!"

"Building building building!" Robin found another building, not condemned and they swung towards it, as that block of Park Row began to cease to exist.

And back at the mountain retreat. Gwen and Trent were playing Scrabble

"Huh, Glazorbit, that's not a word."

"Uh, it is to me, I pass." Trent said nervously

"But you have two free spaces, and you could spell tons of words, like liar, and take, and movie, to, demon girl, and across and the and lake-"

"You know what I need to-"

"Sigh, I know I know, go get firewood, I get it."

"Look Gwen, just gimme a minute, and I'll be back, you'll see." Trent ran out, and Gwen was left...with the movie. "Bueller...hmm." Trent rowed all the way across, Heather was also getting suspicious.

"Beloved...you're back, and late."

"Yeah but I...I got the mo...vie."

"Well where is it..."

"Uh, oops, left it outside! Be right back!"

"Hmm." she said suspiciously.

Trent had petrified that forest of trees, due to the firewood. He dashed back into Gwen's cabin not noticing her and Heather standing there angrily. Trent threw the firewood on the now huge stack of it, then noticed the two

"GAH!"

"Well?"

"Have an explanation for this Batman?" Gwen asked

"Uh...uh..."

"Choose your words carefully Trent, Heather's Dad tried to destroy the world cause of pollution, and my claws are razor sharp!"

"And the next words out of your mouth better be, I couldn't spend the weekend with just one of you!"

"Sigh...you're right girls."

"We are?"

"You are, I love and appreciate you both...I couldn't say no to just one of you...now come here."

"Oh."

"Beloved." they hugged him-CLICK, they were in handcuffs

"Huh?"

"What in the-"

"HEY!"

"Sorry girls, weekend's over, this way to the Arkham Express!"

"Oh well, I CALL SHOTGUN!" Heather dashed out, taking Gwen with her

"Were both sitting shotgun you idiot!"

"Ah...I love a happy ending." Trent smiled

Meanwhile, afternoon had set into evening, it was atop the grand hotel, which had inhabitants inside. Firefly was trying to battle the whole bat team now.

"Grr! You can't beat me! I will have my Codykins!"

"Not likely Lynns!"

"I will! Our love shall prevail!"

"NO IT WON'T!" It was nearing 8:00, the time Daggett wanted the hotel, the final building to blow, he was at city hall, making a speech, local protestors with Leslie were there.

"Now people-people please!"

"No Daggett! We will NOT let you destroy our homes!"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah!"

"What has I really been destroyed a few condemned buildings? Please." he looked at his watch "Progress should not be hindered because of the underclass!"

"Boooooo!"

"Too bad! I just got to wait for the mayor's signature, and that blocks all mine!"

"But the hotel! There's people in there!"

"That building is far more structurally sound then the others which must have imploded due to natural causes, I'm sure it will hold up." he looked at his watch again

. . .

"Ha! You're too late, all I gotta do is pres this but-[grab]-No!" V-Bat finally had her

"gotcha!"

"No! No it's not fair! It's just not fair! All I wanted was a little love! Is that so hard...Cody?"

"Oh gimme a break already!"

"Yeah, that's telling her."

"Come on...let's go ruin Daggett's day."

. . .

"I can assure you people those in the hotel will be properly relocated, there's no need to stop progress...I said...there's no need to stop proress! Grrr...I said-"

"You've said plenty Daggett!" the bat team landed

"Gasp!"

"We saw Sierra here, rigging the buildings to blow!"

"Including the hotel, which still had people in it!"

"What?" Daggett looked at Sierra as if to say: what did I tell you! "I-I am shocked to learn arsen was the cause of this-yes, shocked! Police, this is your suspect here!" Daggett made a beeline towards his awaiting limo, the cops took Sierra away.

"Don't worry, Daggett can't escape the law forever."

"You sure?" Batgirl looked at him

"Yes...one day people like him will see the side...of justice."

**The End...**

**The dramatic final appearance of Tuck is up next, STAY TUNED...ReViEw**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill/V-Bat

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Rhinehart/the Exterminator

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Annick Obsonawin: **Sierra Lynns/Firefly

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Gwen Kyle

**Rachel Wilson: **Heather Al Ghul

**Ed Asner: **Roland Daggett

**Kath Soucie: **Dr. Leslie Tompkins, Locals

**Dorian Harewood: **Locals

**Billy West: **Locals

**Tom Kenny: **Waiter, Locals


	183. Last Tuck Standing, Part I

**Villain(s): Tuck, The Terrible Trio Featuring: The Exterminator**

**Episode Archive: JAMOKE!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri**

**Teleplay By: Jean MacCurdy&Michael Reaves**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami&Bruce Timm**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 89: Last Tuck Standing...**

In the botanical Gardens of the Gotham City, Batgirl and Poison Ivy were locked in a battle of wits...checkers that is-HA! I keed, no really they were having a battle royale.

"Eat dirt Ivy, LITERALLY!" Batgirl threw several potted plants her way.

"No way Bratgirl, for it is you who will be eating my dirt, or, well; my vines that is! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"No! Erg!" Batgirl found herself tangled in a web of vines, a smirking Ivy approached her.

"Ah, gotcha right where I want ya Bratgirl."

"Oh God, please whatever you plan on doing, just don't make me watch! Can't you just poison me or-or-or something."

"What? That was what I was planning on doing you silly-ha-ha-ha-ha." Ivy chuckled "God what dirty thoughts go through your little head hmm?"

"I could ask you the same thing you sicko!"

"You know the doctors aren't quite sure." Suddenly more vines were conjured up and they attached themselves to Batgirl's neck.

"Gah-ah-ah!"

"And to be completely honest with ya...I agree."

"No...gah...eh...!" Batgirl struggled. She tried to cut the vines with a small pocket knife she had on her,

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! At least I'm letting you the glorious opportunity of a warriors death Bratgirl. And I think." she motioned for the vines to bring her in closer "This, is long overdue." she reached for the cowl, but instead of making out with her like you're all probably expecting, shes gonna try and reveal her.

"Now let's see whose hotness is under that pesky cowl of yours, hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm." just as she was about to tear it off. Batgirl cut the vines, which released herself, and squirted all sorts of pus green pus stuff all over the place, including all over Bridgette's face, covering it up. Which was good considering Ivy got a hold of her cowl. She too, covered in green pus, and not happy one bit.

"Ew, gross." Bridgette groaned. An angry Ivy staggered to her feet.

"You...You...You...MURDERER!" she lunged at Batgirl, pinning her against the ground.

"Gah-dammit!"

"I don't care who you are! I'm through with you...and everyone else destroying the goodness on earth! Time you payed the ultimate pri-[zaaaaaaap]-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-ugh." Ivy passed out.

Bridgette was smart to use her free hand to activate her electro glove to Ivy's neck, which zapped her into submission.

Bridgette stood up and recowled,

"Ha, that went easier than expected." She took the knocked out Ivy, and put her over her shoulders. "Nothing left to do than to take you back to Arkham."

"Yeah, except-"

"GASP!"

"We can't letcha do that." Batgirl looked in front of her and was surprised to see

"Snatch?"

"Yeah, that's right baby, sorry but I'm afraid you and miss Isley will be taking a slight detour from Arkham. My sincerest apologies of course."

Batgirl looked around at the moment, and didn't see anyone else with him.

"You're alone?" she asked in disbelief

"Yeah, you got a problem with that?"

"Hmm, you know what, I think I do."

"Huh?" Snatch asked in disbelief

"You're nothing without your bros, no way you went by yourself, and what do you want with Ivy."

"Well, it's actually not Ivy I came after...it's you." he said coldly

"Ha, look Throttle, we can stand around here, and say witty things in low voices back and forth till the cows come home some other time, I don't have time for games."

"Well, ain't that convenient-[snaps fingers]-cause."

[Zaaaaaaaaaap]

"Gaaaaaaaaaaah-unh, fell for the oldest...trick-unh-[thud]" Batgirl was shocked from behind by Blast, and was then knocked out.

"Well what do you know, you did catch my bluff."

"You know it wasn't exactly a hard bluff to follow."

"Ah can it Blast, and help me drag em off-Yo Shifty? We got em, you can get off your lazy ass now!"

"Zip it Naples! I just looted their safe, which means, I got the money."

"Ugh-fine-sure whatever."

"Come on bros, let's get out of here..."

"Yeah so we can start our plans." Snatch smiled

"Yeah, big plans."

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

. . .

"Wakey-wakey...wakey wakey...WAKE UP BATGIRL!"

"Huh...wh-what, where am I?" a utility-batless Batgirl awoke to the face of "Grr...Tuck, I should have figured you'd be the one behind this!"

"Hmm-hmm-hmm, well as much as I would like to believe that you and I both know that's a damned lie Bats."

"Well, you got me here, what do you want with me...here..." she said looking around "Wherever here is."

Batgirl quickly noticed she was in a clearing in a large jungle.

"Welcome to Borneo!" Tuck cheered arms extended "Or as I should call it: Your final resting place." Exterminator then came into view

"Yes, I'll make sure of it." ...commercial...

Batgirl stared angrily at Ex.

"Rhinehart...humph, I thought I smelt the stench of pure evil in a teenage package!"

"You wanted to say something better didn't you?" Tuck asked

"Uh-yeah kinda." she sighed "Alright you too, what is all this?"

"This, young Bat, is a hunt! I'd call it a manhunt, but that you are not, so it's a woman-hunt."

"What! You mean...you're gonna hunt me down like I'm-I'm some sorta animal?"

"Oh ha-ha-ha-ha." Tuck laughed heartily "Me? Heavens to Betsy no."

"Whew." Batgirl sighed of relief

"Ex is." Batgirl did a facepalm

"Splendid." she groaned "Why?"

"Because I really think the best way to mold Ex into the perfect assassin, is by a hunt, and what more of a suitable location...than this, don't you think?" Tuck asked looking around.

"Brilliant." Batgirl rolled her eyes, then glared at Ex, trying not to show fear.

"Yes, this-this hunt will be my final test."

"You know, I recall seeing this somewhere on TV once. Where's your muscle-[sniff-sniff]-never mind, I'd recognize that cheap cologne brand anywhere, Shifty O'Connor!" The Terrible Trio appeared into the clearing

"Aw dammit Shift, I told you to stop wearing that cheap-o sh*t!"

"Yeah man, that junk is disgusting!" Blast held his nose

"Humph, you're both just jealous that you don't have any, but I'm a nice guy, want so-"

"NO!"

"Hells no!"

"Jeesh, fine more for me!" Shifty lathered in the cologne.

"Hmm, and let me guess, Larry, Curly, and Moe are gonna hunt me down as well, right?" Batgirl asked turning her attention back to Tuck.

"Not you...they'll be hunting you're...ha-ha, traveling companion-ha-ha-ha-Aha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Huh?"

Batgirl quickly realized she was shackled by the ankle to poison Ivy, just waking up from being conked out herself, it didn't take her long to put 2 and 2 together.

"Where am...what in the...2+2=Oh God, you're gonna hunt me!"

"How did she catch on so quick?" Batgirl asked

"Oh splendid, and I'm stuck to little miss goody-good! Fantastic!" Ivy stood up "Can't even enjoy this glorious jungle splendor with her barking orders down my throat!"

"Humph, oh so sorry Ivy, and like this is a big girls weekend for me too-"

"ENOUGH!" Tuck boomed

"Wait-wait hang on, uh, which one of us is Moe?" Snatch asked

"Trevor, why in God's name does that matter?" Ex asked

"He's right that's a valid statement." Blast added

"Now I think I should be Moe, I am the unofficial leader." Shifty suggested

"Yeah but Snatch has that Moe-ish physique, me personally I'm more of a Larry guy-"

"Hey, fellas?" Tuck asked

"Yes?" they asked

"SHUT-UP! Now...where was I?" he asked

"T-Cubed is hunting Ivy." Batgirl explained

"And Ex is hunting Batgirl to be properly molded into a great assassin." Ivy added

"Quite! While I watch comfortably from the sidelines." Tuck added

"Hang on Master, I uh...just wanted to uh...you know, send Batgirl a message, to psych her out."

"Oh...oh alright I suppose-but make it quick Ex!"

"Right." she walked over to Batgirl. "I'll get you out of this I promise." she whispered

"No." she whispered back sternly

"No? But-but-but, but bridge I really-"

"I know what you really want Sara...I thought you had finally changed...but Geoff and I were right all along, your nothing but a cold, soulless killer, a slave to that puppet master you call a guardian. This is the final straw. When I get out of this, rest assured your going back to Arkham, forever, and believe me I will swallow the f*cking key." Ex hung her head

"I-I'm sorry."

"You're not, you betrayed all of us...me...Geoff...Trent...Alfred...my Dad...Grandpa Jim...Ham...Gil...Chef and Courtney...but worst of all-worst...of...ALL, you betrayed Cody." Ex perked up at that. "He loved you...oh my God did he love you-despite all your short-comings and all of us never trusting you-he did...through thick and thin...he's gonna be devastated when he finds out." Ex said nothing.

"Times running out." Tuck said looking at his watch

"Bridge I can get you out of this, we can work this out-"

"We can't...maybe when the guns turned on you, you'll learn what we see..." Batgirl turned to Ivy not paying attention. "Isley get up!"

"Okay okay jeez!"

"And as for you, I got some unsettled business to take care of, and you better be pulling your own weight-GOT IT!" at that moment Ivy felt scared of Batgirl.

"Y-yes sir." they turned to leave "You know Ex...perhaps I should have just let Nightwing kill you at the diamond exchange-"

"Gasp!"

"But I had the better judgment, I didn't want that to haunt him forever...and...maybe I had thought you could have changed." she turned to face her "But I guess I was wrong." the two turned to run into the forest.

"45 minutes remain in your head start, you ready gentlemen...and I use the term loosely."

"You bet!"

"Excellent, now Ex, need I not remind yo of your killing instinct."

"Of course not master."

"Good...Cause I want Batgirl DEAD! DEAD you hear me I want her DEAD! I want her Family DEAD! If her neighbor has a dog, I want that dog DEAD! I want her second uncle DEAD! I want her co-workers DEAD! I want her paperboy DEAD! GET IT!"

"Y-yes master."

"Good...you better not fail me Ex..."

"I...I-I won't."

At the Bat-Cave, Nighthacker made a startling discovery.

"Hmm..." he pondered

"Perplexed Master Geoffrey?" Alfred asked carrying a spot of tea

"You could say that."

"What's wrong chum?" Cody asked

"It doesn't make any sense, Bridgette never checked out or came back last night." he turned around in his chair and sipped some tea "And then, her tracking device says shes in the middle of Borneo."

"Borneo?" the two asked confused.

"That's certainly strange." Trent agreed, as he walked down the stairs.

"Yeah you're telling me, I seem to recall she said something about Ivy, then, nothing."

"Hmm...maybe Sara knows something?" Trent asked looking at Cody

"No I doubt it, her and Tuck went somewhere for some big jungle hunt or whatever for the week, and I swear I heard Snatch's voice in the background."

"A hunt with The Terrible Trio?" Alfred asked

"T-cubed Alfred! T. Cubed! What's the point of codenames if we aren't gonna use em?" Nighthacker asked

"So sorry Slim Shady, I'll be sure to study my hiptionary bro." Alfred scoffed sarcastically.

"Cody, where did Sara say this jungle hunt was?" Trent asked

"Oh nowhere special just Bor...neo." Cody's eyes went wide as he finished the word, as did everyone elses.

"Oh crap."

"Merciful God." Alfred added

"Fellas, are you pondering what I'm pondering?" Trent asked

"Uh...if they called them Sad Meals no one would buy them?" Cody asked

"No."

"Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead?" Nighthacker asked

"No." Trent asked getting more annoyed.

"Uh...Dogs have cleaner-"

"NO! It means...were going to Borneo." Trent grabbed a remote, which started the Bat-wing.

"Wait-wait, me too?" Geoff asked

"Well, I can;t expect you to sit here all day and watch this unfold overseas now can I."

"Thanks for the notion, but I doubt the Borneo Rainforest is wheelchair accessible."

"Look, Lucius didn't slave away in a hot laboratory so you couldn't use that thing, now suit up and move it!"

"Yes sir!"

**To Be Continued...PlEaSe ReViEw...I gave this a thought...this could possibly be the best episode of TDB yet! Any thoughts? Any? Any at all?**


	184. Last Tuck Standing, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Batman, Nightwing, and Robin raced off towards Borneo...which I just remembered is in the South Pacific.

"Damn I gotta give Lucius credit, this thing handles like a dream." Batman smirked

"Yeah not bad at all, and according to the scanners, ETA to Batgirl's location is but a mere 33 minutes away, gentlemen, nothing left to do but sit back, relax, and enjoy..." Nightwing wanted to say something remarkable about the landscape...but... "Enjoy...a spectacular view of the...sigh, pacific ocean...at light speed." he sighed

"Yeah looks kinda like one of those...eh, streak of blue with a horizon above...wanted to say something cooler." Batman sighed

"Well you are right though, what do you think Cody?"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha."

"Cody?"

"Ha-ha-ha."

"CODY!"

"Huh, oh yeah, it's okay I guess."

"What are you doing bro?" Nightwing asked looking around

"Watching Biker Mice From Mars, they're finally on Hulu now, and these portable TV's in the back of the seats have an excellent sound quality."

"Oh that is cool." Nightwing mused

"Hey, you guys ever noticed Throttle and Snatch have a similar voice, it's mind boggling."

"You know Codeman...I have noticed that." Nightwing pondered

"Rob Paulsen."

"Say what Batman?"

"You're saying Rob Paulsen, the voice of Throttle from Biker Mice From Mars...is Trevor Naples?"

"No, I'm just saying they share a similar, deep dark and distinct voice."

"Hey old man, since when do you make time in your busy schedule to look up useless information regarding cartoon characters from the 1990's?" Nightwing asked

"Trust me, it's a free time thing." Batman said

"So...what do you thinks going on down there?" Nightwing asked

"I'm sure whatever it is Sara and Batgirl can handle it."

"For their sakes, I hope so."

We take you now to the jungles below in Borneo, Batgirl and Ivy were sprinting as fast as they could, until they reached a clearing, that clearing revealed a beautiful waterfall diagonally from them. They were atop a massive cliff.

"Batgirl look! Isn't it beautiful."

"You know...I would like nothing more than to strangle you, T-cubed, Tuck, and especially Ex right now...but this...this beauty almost makes up for it."

"Yeah, I feel the same way." Ivy mused "I wish I could live here forever you know, no pollution, abundant plants...it's all natural unspoiled beauty." and here comes the frowny face "Not like that cesspool back in Gotham."

"Oh come on-"

"you come on!" she interjected "It's crooked industrialists that are ruining this great planet, without people like them, this world...can be just as beautiful as this...but then people like Ferris Boyle, Trent Wayne, Lawrence Limburger and Ronaldo Rump come along, make their fancy hotels and factories, and absolutely kill the landscape, that's why they have to be stopped."

"Hey! Trent Wayne is a good man, he would never!"

"What makes you so sure?" Batgirl pulled her close

"Cause I know him."

"Okay-okay-jeeeeeeeeeeeez!" Ivy looked behind her. The Trio were standing above some rocks.

"Touching moment, really." Shifty mused sarcastically.

"We can discuss this later." Batgirl sighed

"Hey not to worry B-Girl, all we want is the plant, you can have a nice quiet journey once were through." Snatch chuckled

"Of course you will get stuck dragging her sorry dead ass around." Blast laughed

"Just make it easy...and you'll never see Poison Ivy again."

Batgirl DID think of that notion...after all she did kidnap and rape her...which we'll get to in a few moments, but sadly, her good guy intuition kicked in...she sighed, and grabbed a vine attached to a tree on the other side of the ravine, then grabbed some dirt in the other.

"Sigh...fellas, as tempting as that offer is, and believe me it is-"

"Hey!"

"I...I can't let you, so adios you three stooges!" she threw the dirt at them.

"Hey!"

"Oh come on!"

"Man that's just rude!"

"Ha-ha! See ya suckers!" Ivy called. She hopped on Batgirl's back, and the two rode across the ravine "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"

"That's the idea!" Blast yelled

"You stupid c*nt!" Snatch added

"Yo bros, let's traverse the falls, and cut em off at the pass, come on!"

"Aye-aye Moe!"

The two rode across the waterfall ravine, the camera pans around so you can see it.

"Hey, tell me if I'm squeezing your hips too tight with my feet." Ivy asked

"You're not."

"How bout now?"

"Ugh." Batgirl moaned

"Hey, have you noticed Snatch sounds just like-"

"Yes, he sounds like Throttle from Biker Mice From Mars, we've been over this, gosh!"

"Well." The two made it across. Tuck watched this from a very tall tree and some peeping tom binoculars.

"Pathetic..." he sighed, then he saw Ex close by to the two "But this, should be interesting, to say the least.

. . .

"Well that went well." Ivy pointed out.

"Yeah it did didn't it."

"Certainly did." Ivy got closer "You know Batgirl, you really aren't so bad once you cut through that first layer of topsoil-"

"Are you trying to bust a move?"

"Why? Is it working?"

"Nope!" she turned around, holding a Batarang "I told you we have unfinished business." she pinned Ivy against a tree, and held the weapon to her neck

"Hey! I thought-I thought Tuck stole your belt!"

"He did, I always have one spare Batarang with me at all times not attached to my belt.

"Hmm, where do you put it-"

"Dammit! I never thought I could call another woman a pervert! But you certainly take the cake don't you! Which leads me to my next question...I know you kidnapped, and raped Bridgette Gordon...what did you do to her?"

"Um...Bridgette who-"

"GORDON! Ring any bells!"

"Sorry Bats, memories a bit hazy if you catch my drift."

"Bullsh*t! Okay, it's okay." she got the edge of the weapon close to Ivy's neck "There's less diplomatic ways of dealing with this." Ivy smiled, she wanted to call her bluff

"You wouldn't...it's not in your nature-and don't go telling me it is, if you wouldn't let Modo, Vinnie, and Throttle turn me into mulch back there, there's no way you would do it."

"Oh really? Maybe I just wanted the honor for myself? Ever thought of that miss I-Know-Everything?"

"Oh-ha-ha, guess I didn't." Ivy said sheepishly

"Now, I'm only asking you once...what did...you do...to Bridgette...Gordon?"

"Why do you care?"

"Shes a good friend."

"And quite the looker too." Ivy smiled, a few vines got close to Batgirl. "Ease up will ya?"

"Fine." Batgirl backed away.

"Alright, were pressed for time so I'll give you one, maybe two details." she whispered it into Batgirl's ear, her eyes went wide.

"EWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

"Told ya."

"That's...that's...that's disgusting-I-I-I-I mean...a...a pumpkin wouldn't even fit!"

"Oh I made it fit alright. Glad you know?"

"Not reall-[bang]" they turned to see Ex, on a huge rock directly above them.

"So, this is how it ends." Batgirl frowned

"Not exactly." she said

. . .

"That's it Ex...do it...do it..." [bang]

. . .

"Huh?" Batgirl noticed the bullet hit a tree directly next to Ivy, no where near Batgirl

"She...she missed."

"She missed?"

"Dammit she missed!" Tuck yelled, then Ex tripped over a rock.

"Whoa-whoa! Oop, clumzy me."

"Quick! Now's our chance!"

"No kidding!" The two dashed away. Ex slowly (on purpose) staggered to her feet, when she stood, Tuck was right there.

"M-m-m-master, I-"

"Oh zip it!" he grabbed her by the throat.

"Zaxsxadsckckck." she choked

"I'm no fool Ex...I know you have the hots for Robin, and I know you secretly work for those Bat Vermin...why did you think I would want to mold you into the perfect assassin? It was a sham! I just wanted to test your loyalty, and right now I'm not impressed. Perhaps I should have offed you like I did your parents. And unless you want to meet their fate-[drop]"

"Choke-cough-choke-cough." Ex choked as she hit the ground

"I suggest you destroy that bat-devil once and for all-GOT IT!"

"...Yes master." she said in a low whisper.

"Good...I didn't want to kill them Ex...but they would never let me have you if I didn't. Now go!" driven to tears Ex followed their trail.

Tuck heard the sound of the wind above him, it was Robin parachuting down as the Bat-Wing flew overhead

"Hey Sh*t-stain! Get a load of thiiiiiiiiis!" he was grabbed by the foot in mid air. "Aw man."

"Birdie, fantastic, we were just talking about you, and you might prove your worth soon enough!"

Ivy and Batgirl sprinted through the forests with T-Cubed hot on their trail.

"Hey Ivy!"

"Yo Ives!"

"Yoo-hoo!"

"Hey baby, where you going?"

"Not gonna say hi to us?

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"This is not cool!" Ivy panted

"You're telling ME!" the two stopped at the edge of a large cliff, the other side was too far gone to traverse. T-Cubed had surrounded them.

"Oh great, the Bros are he-"

"Ivy! If I gotta hear one more Biker Mice From Mars reference in this episode-JUST ONE-I'll rip you to shreds myself!" the three surrounded them.

"Alright bros, who wants the shot?" Snatch asked

"Ask Moe."

"Oh ha-ha Blast that's a good o-[kick]unh!"

"Gasp! Shifty-[thwack]"

"Oh cra-[thunk]" Batman and Nightwing, each in their own creative way, subdued all of the three. Apprehending all of them.

"Whew." Batgirl sighed of relief "Am I ever happy to see you both."

"Wouldn't miss this, believe me."

"Yeah great, but you still gotta save us from the psycho assassins." Ivy groaned

"Shouldn't be too much trouble, now where are th-[thunk]-huh!"

"Hey!" Several shackles were thrown on to their wrists, and legs...and wheels, bounding them both, they hit the ground. Ex came into view.

"No." Batman gasped

"Batman, Tuck's making her kill me! And I can;t stop her!"

"I'm sorry Batgirl, but I have to do this."

"Figures you would." Nightwinf spat. "And here I thought you really had changed, why if Robin were here he'd-"

"He is here." Tuck came into the clearing, holding Robin

"No."

"No."

"no."

"I've got a better idea, you'll still kill Batgirl...but for the ultimate test of loyalty." he threw Robin to the ground "Kill...you're beloved."

Exterminator looked at Robin, who was looking right back at her.

"And unless you want to see your parents again...wherever they went; you'll kill him, you have no options Exterminator."

"Sara no!" Batman yelled. Ex just looked at Robin. Tears streamed down, as she pointed her Desert Eagle at Robin's forehead.

"Cody...I'm..."

"Sara...it's okay...you have no choice...just know...that no matter what...I'll always love you."

"Yes-yes, this is all very touching I'm sure, now Ex, get on with it." she was reluctant "Do it you miserable little-don't forget who made you into who you are today! Are you going to jeopardize that all for something stupid as your puppy love?" her sadness was replaced with anger "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?" suddenly the gun was pointed at him. "Wait..WAIT! What are you...what are you doing?"

"Something I should have done a long time ago...it's just been revoked-[BANG]"

"Unh...unh...ugh-[thud]" shot through the heart, Tuck hit the ground, he wearily and slowly looked up. "You...y-y-y-y-yo-yo-you, did it...you finally...did it...well done, Sara-unh." Ex fell to her knees, and used the keys to unshackle everyone. She ran into Batman's arms "I hope I never have to kill again." she sobbed.

Later that evening, after returning the trio and Ivy back to Arkham and giving Tuck a less than proper burial, they entered the Bat-Cave where Alfred awaited their arrival.

"Well, a gaggle of quiet faces if I've ever seen them."

"Not now Alfred." Batman ordered

"Oh dear, what happened."

"She did it Alfred, she broke the curse, she killed Tuck."

"Good lord."

"He was gonna make her kill Cody, or he'd kill her...probably the most difficult decision anyone could have made." Batman said turning to Ex "And, though there is no right way to do it...I think you made the right decision Sara...that's why, you're not going back to Arkham."

"I'm...I'm not?"

"No, you're cured, with Tuck gone, you have no one above you to order you around, you're free."

"YES!" she jumped and gave Robin a much needed hug

"But! I'm setting you up with therapy sessions with Doctor Tompkins to keep you in check."

"A small price to pay. Thank you Trent."

"And with that said, there's the matter of your living quarters...I decided Trent Wayne is going to adopt another."

"YES!"

"But wait..." Cody thought

"Yup, that means you two can no longer date-what a shame."

"But-but-but-but." the two stammered

"I don't want to hear it-"

"Actually sir, there is another alternative."

"What do you mean Alfred?"

"What if I, take in Sara, as my ward?"

"Alfred you're 72!"

"And my girlfriend's 34, you're point?"

"Also part cyborg."

"Heard that Master Geoffrey. I think this would be good if the children continued dating, what do you say."

"YES!"

"Ugh...I'll regret this for sure...if you are not distracted-AT ALL-...not-no."

"That means YES!" the two hugged

"Ugh, alright, I've had my share of dramatic endings for one day." Trent walked towards the stairs.

"Where will you go now Master Trent?"

"My room...maybe watch some Biker Mice."

"DAMMIT!" Bridgette yelled

**The End...**

**Okay my peeps, we got the creeper making another return up next, another Jeff Bennett character, so REVIEW and enjoy, see ya!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Rhinehart/The Exterminator

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Nightwing

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Jeff Bennett: **Tuck Vanzetti

**Katie Crown: **Izzy Isley/Poison Ivy

**S. Scott Bullock: **Scott O'Connor/Shifty

**THE Rob Paulsen: **Trevor Naples/Snatch

**Billy West: **Jason Cratcheville/Blast


	185. Creeper Strikes Back! Part I

**Villain(s): The Greed Goblin, Penguin, Killer Croc, Riddler**

**Episode Archive: MAKE-A-DA PIZZA PIE!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Dan Riba**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini&Paul Rugg**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 90: The Creeper Strikes Back!**

"_Goooooooooooood morning Gotham! Hey it's your favorite morning mixer DJ Shady Slim, it is a glorious April 6th, were looking at partly cloudy skies, with highs in the mid 70's, no rain scheduled for the forecast today, or tonight, with clear skies expected and lows in the lower 50's. Now here's some got old rock and roll to spice up the morning Gothamites, here's Lead Zepplin with Kashmir-[snooze]_

Jack Ryder woke up, and groggily spit a lump of flem into the nearest trash receptacle, he then looked at himself in the mirror.

"Ugh, another day, another bore." he sighed He then took out a medicine box with a bunch of antidote patches inside, which Batmann had made for him. "Oh let's see." he tore the previous patch off "Adios Friday, and hello Saturday." he took the patch correctly labeled 'Saturday' and stuck onto his right bicep. "And now for my boring job at the boring TV studio." Jack sat back down on the bed "Man I wish I could go back to being the Creeper, at least then it was fun." Jack looked at two newsclippings he had framed, both front page articles, the one headline read "Creeper: Who Is This Guy?" for his first night, and the other properly read "Creeper, Batman, and Superman ice Clayface" Jack then got the idea. "Hmm, or maybe I can heh-heh-heh-heh-heh." he chuckled as he tore the patch off, moments later, he changed, his skin lime green, his dark hair jet black with a green tint, his lips blackened, and his size triplified "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I'm Back Baby! Oh right, and now to complete the perfect day off-ha-ha-ha, I gotta be convincing in my excuse to my boss.

At Gotham News, the Executive Producer Edmund Rooney sat like a cocky bastard at his desk when the call came through.

"Hello...No Jack Ryder is not in yet...what do you mean he can't come into work...well why can't he tell me, no he has to tell me, this ain't a school, this is not how it works. I don't care whose funeral it is-listen-listen dipsh*t if you don't like my policies y can just come on over here and smooch my big old white butt! Oh that's uncalled for, who did you say you were again? Dylan Ryder...as in, the father of Jack of Ryder-the-the-the founder of Gotham News Network!" Rooney looked at the picture of Dylan Ryder, shaking hands with him years ago. Rooney got scared "I-I-I-I Mr. Ryder I-I-I think I owe you an apology."

We cutscene back to Creeper, with a towel around himself, while he irons his trademark undergarments, with the phone rested against his ear and shoulder. He changed his voice to sound like his father.

"Well I should say you do."

"I-I-I-I-"

"Well I think you should be sorry for Chr*stsaake! A family member dies, and you insult me what the hell is the matter with you anyway!"

"Well I-I-I I didn't know sir I thought I-I-I was talking to someone else-you know sir-sir-sir, that I-I-I would n-n-n-n-never deliberately insult you like that-"

"Pardon my French, but you're an asshole!"

"I-I-I-I-I-I I mean you're right sir you-"

"Asshole!"

"Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh and right you are sir, hit the nail right on the head!"

"Ass-HOLE!"

"Uh-uh-uh-uh, yes sir, you-you-you-you do not even know how-how-how embarrassed I am!"

"This isn't over yet buster do you read me?"

"Uh-uh-uh-uh loud and clear Mr. Ryder!"

"Call me sir Got dammit!" Creeper took his clean creased undies from the table and felt them across his face...warm.

"Yes sir-yes sir!"

"That's better! Now listen up, Jack and me got a funeral to go to, he's taking off work and I don't wanna hear another word about, comprende?"

"Yes-oh yes sir! Yes sir, you bet."

"Now Rooney, you just mind your p's and q's buster, cause I gave you that job, and I can just as easily take it away you hear me?"

"Yes, yes Mr. Ryder-uh sir, you bet."

"Alright, now Rooney pay close attention, I want you to run outside the building, skip around, and slap your own ass, and get to it quickly by God!"

"Yes sir-yes sir Mr. Ryder sir I will get to it right away."

"Alright that's better, pleasant day Rooney." he hung up. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh Ferris Bueller will you ever let me down?" Creeper asked putting on his undies, then his red gloves and stocking shoes...and the red boa. "I'm baaaaaaack in action Gotham!" he sprinted to his balcony. "You hear me Gotham, on this day, the Creeper strikes back-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"HEY, SHUT-UP!" a voice called

"Well, some people just don't get me these days-heh-heh-heh-heh." Creeper jumped from building to building. ...commercial...

Summer Gleeson sat in her news van next to her new camera man Barry Schwartzweiner.

"Alright Bar, head to Westbrook, I got word on a jewelry store robbery, they got hostages."

"Yeah Summer sure thing." he said in a kind of quirky, sorta squeaky voice. "Or should I call you Snake mistress?"

"Ha-ha Barry, a million laughs, and it's Snakemaster, if you're gonna insult me at least do it correctly, now drive."

"Roar to you too." they got to work.

Over at Wayne Manor, Alfred had news for everyone. Good news as a matter of fact

"Good news everyone-and before you all try and guess with ridiculous and stereotypical answers, I'll just say it, the paperwork went through, and it's official, Sara Rhinehart is now Sara Pennyworth."

"That's great Alfred." Trent smiled

"Good for you buddy."

"Congrats Alfred, you're a father." Bridgette gave him a hug. "An illegitimate father but a father none the less."

"Miss Gordon I'm surprised at you, you act as though I've never been a father."

"Well you never had any kids of your own...right?"

"Uh, who do you think raised me?" Trent asked

"And believe me, it wasn't easy."

"Ha-ha."

"Like when you were fourteen and you wanted to see Bob Dylan in concert and I said no, but you sneaked out and went anyway?"

"Trent, you were a rebel?"

"Wasn't every teenager?"

"Yes, then Master Trent went on that training and "finding himself" escapade after college, and then; Batman was born."

"That's cool."

"Hate to kill the walk down memory lane, but where is the happy couple?" Trent asked

"Cody said something about ice cream, he took the Ferrari-it's kinda hazy to me." Geoff shrugged

"Well great I hope he has fu-u-u-u-u-unnnnnn! THE FERRARI!"

"Besides the Batmobile, that's your most prized automobile sir."

"I'd rather he'd take the Batmobile, as least that can withstand the blows of Cody's piss-poor driving! Sigh, I'm gonna go lie down before tonight, Alfred wake me at 7 won't you?"

"Of course Master Trent."

Summer and Barry arrived at the jewelry store, being held up by said villains listed above. The commissioner had also arrived.

"Bullock! What happened?" Chris asked

"We got Gray, Penguin, Riddler, and Croc, inside with hostages."

"Ugh, why...why-why-oh why is it always these costumed freaks! Don't I get enough of them during the night?" he sighed, and yelled into the megaphone "Attention dumbasses! Come out with your hands up, so we can all go home and pork our women!"

"Commish' you just-"

"I know what I said!" Chris yelled into the megaphone into Chef's face, and now, inside the jewelry store

"Oh no, now Gordon's here too." Croc sighed

"I thought I smelled the stench of failure." Penguin smiled

"As usual gentlemen, I'll take care of this." Goblin sighed as he approached the door "Owen, did you at least find that bird thing-a-ma-jigger you made us come in for."

"You mean the gold encrusted toucan?"

"I don't care what the name is!" he opened up the door. "Hey Gordon, go suck a Schwartzweiner!"

"Ugh, I thought people would stop saying that in high school." Barry sighed. He got the camera ready.

"Gray Goblin, come out with your hands-"

"And another thing, it ain't the Gray Goblin anymore! It's the Greed Goblin, so that fat kid from West Jersey will start typing Greed, not Gray-GOT IT NIKO!"

"Wait-wait-wait, hang on...hang on...why the change?" Chris asked

"Those damn thieves at Marvel Comics! Those bastards are saying they made a character called Gray Goblin in the Spiderman comics! I was nearly sued! I hate being the defendant! Oh and one more thing, you can go tell that Washed up Loon Stan Lee he can go SHOVE IT-[Slam!]" Greed closed the door.

"Well, attitude problem much?" Barry asked

"Typical Boyle, alright Barry, how's my hair?" Summer asked

"Red."

"Ha-ha."

"Alright Summer, you're live...now!"

"This is Summer Gleeson, I'm standing outside of Goldberg's Jewelers in Westbrook, where a daring robbery with four notorious Gotham rogues." Greed opened the door again.

"Hey Gleeson! I hardly recognize you without the Boa around your neck-AHA-HA-HA-HA!"

"IT WAS AN ASP BOYLE! GO EAT SH*T!"

"Uh...Summer?"

"Oh...i said that out loud didn't I...was that...live?"

"Yeah."

"Oh sh*t we need to edit those two words out."

"Won't matter, Rooney for whatever reason is acting like a moron outside the building."

"Really?"

"Yeah I swear it's all over Twitter."

"Hey, I just got that Tweet!" Chef added

. . .

"Alright fellas, let's hit the bricks, huh?" Croc asked

"Sounds good to me."

"Ladies and Gentlemen of Goldberg's you were all fine hostages, I leave you all now with a riddle...ahem, roses are red, violets are blue...follow us, and you'll be dead soon."

"That wasn't even a riddle." Penguin said

"Everyone's a critic, I'm not made of riddles you know!"

"Noah, it's in your name!"

"Ugh, let's just go."

Outside Creeper landed in the middle of the ruckus.

"Hey guys!"

"Oh my God!"

"The Creeper!"

"It's the Creeper!"

"I can't believe it!"

"Okay everyone, what do we got here, talk to me-talk to me, who's in charge here-Chrissy!"

"Oh, give me strength."

"Chris man, what's the situation?" Creeper asked putting his arm around Chris's shoulder.

"Ugh, where do I begin, we got screw-loose, wise-ass, sissy scales, and fatty robbing the store."

"Egad! Gray, Riddler, Killer Croc, and Penguin?"

"It's actually the Greed Goblin now." Chef corrected.

VEROOOOOOOM!" the Riddler's Riddle mobile, zoomed out of the ally, many people dispersed.

"Quick Bar, see if you can get me in a close-up with the Creeper." Summer mused

"Riddler I gotta say, this is a fine piece of machinery." Croc said

"I owe it to Ferris."

"Yup, this Riddlemobile is prime Gothcorp ingenuity right there-Gothcorp, the people company." suddenly Creeper jumped on the bumper

"Gah!"

"Sh*t!"

"Creeper!"

"Aw, that bastard dented the hood." Riddler groaned

"We got bigger problems you idiot! Drive Nygma!" Greed ordered, they started down the street.

"Whoa! I was right, this is fun-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" Creeper laughed. They passed an intersection, with Cody and Sara at the light.

"...whyyyyyyyyyyy!" Cody slammed his head on the wheel.

"Was that Creeper?"

"Yessssssssssssss!"

"Alright, you know what we gotta do lambchop."

"Go back home and watch Freakazoid?"

"No! Go catch those guys!"

"Aw, fine." Cody rolled his eyes, and followed them.

"And seriously Freakazoid, what's with all the 90's cartoons on this show?"

"Paul Rugg's editing this episode, did that answer your question?"

"Sorta."

**To be continued...please review!**


	186. Creeper Strikes Back! Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Cody and Sara continued behind the Riddlermobile.

"Wanna see something cool?" Cody asked

"Sure." She shrugged. Cody pressed a button, suddenly, they both saw nothing, then they saw the road ahead, and were in their respective superhero costumes "Wha-huh, what in the?"

"Pretty cool huh?" Robin asked

"Yeah it is! What else can that rust bucket do?"

"Hey-hey! The Ferrari is not a rust bucket, it is a quality piece of high tech Italian machinery, which Trent was insistent on tricking out."

"...It makes pizzas doesn't it-"

"Shut up."

"You know, I was thinking of something?"

"That the comedy on this show is getting WAY to out of hand?"

"Well yes, but...Creeper."

"Yeah he's ruining everything as usual, what of it."

"Member how you were talking about Freakazoid?"

"Yes, great show."

"Well think, crazy quirky superhero, Creeper is our Freakazoid!" Exterminator explained

"You are aware that 95% of our viewing audience has no clue what you just said...and that 45% of our viewing audience barley has any idea what Batman: the Animated Series is." Robin said looking directly at the camera "Need I remind you it is the sole series THIS was based from?"

"Cody, who you talking to?"

"The audience."

"Oh-hi guys! Enjoying the show, I'm sure Tuck is-oh wait, no he's not, cause they don't have television in hell!"

"Easy, it's only been one episode."

"Right-right sorry."

Over to the Riddlermobile, Riddler was trying to shake off Creeper, but it was clearly not working.

"Come on Noah shake this overgrown lemon already!" Penguin yelled

"I'm-trying-dammit! He's not making it easy!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Creeper cackled, he then got his face right up to the windshield "Clean your windshield mister-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

"Creeper you jamoke! I can't see the road with your giant ass in the way!"

"Oh-yeah-yeah that is a problem isn't it-i think I should find a remedy for this-"

"JUST MOVE!"

"Alright-alright, jeesh!" he moved over to Greed's side

"Oh perfect."

"Hey-hey Mistah Boyle, how are things buddy?"

"Why don't you ask my butt?"

"Hmm-no thanks, I'm good."

"Come on, pucker up buttercup!"

"I'm not kissing your ass you freak! And they say I'm crazy!" Croc looked behind him, and saw Ex and Robin in the Ferrari coming in fast.

"Uh, guys, problem!"

"What is it Croc? Can't you see I'm arguing incoherently with a yellow babbling maniac?"

"We got bigger problems!"

"You mean the fact of rising gas prices and a crippling global economy?" Penguin asked

"No you fat ass! I mean Robin and the Exterminator are coming in hot in a Ferrari...and I mean hot!"

"What?" Greed looked in the side view mirror...the car was in fact closer than it appeared "Jumping Jimminey Christmas! When did Bats get a bailout?"

"What?" Creeper looked and saw the dynamic couple "Oh it's Robin! Hey Robin! Robin it's me! Robin! Ro-Bin! Friends! Friends-Hey Friends! Hey Friends over here! Hey!"

"Is he for real?" Ex asked

"Just pretend like he's not there, were not there for him."

"Gotcha!"

"Creeper you dolt! Get off the windshield!" Riddler ordered

"Creeper! Get off the car now!" Robin yelled

"Aw, but I don;t wanna!"

"Gasp!" the villains gasped

"What I want is to strike fear into your hearts-THEN, haul you off to Arkham."

"GASP!"

"That's better quite the reaction I wanted."

"No you dipsh*t! Were heading straight for that factory wall!" Croc yelled

"Huh?"

"AHHHHHHHH!"

"Bail!" Greed, Croc, and Penguin managed to jump out, though Riddler and Creeper were still on the car

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

"What's the Ah-" Creeper turned around "Oh no-[CRASSSSH]" The Ferrari stopped right outside

"I really don't even want to see it." they dashed in.

On the factory floor, Riddler laid face down, whereas Creeper was sandwiched between a rock and a hard place-literally, I mean he was sandwiched between the car and a brick wall. Though he was able to just push the car away like it was no big deal and jumped away ready to fight again, totally unscathed

"Ya-hoooooo! Man I am so glad I did this!" he jumped onto Riddler's back

"Umph!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha! Hey Riddles, got one for me-come-on-come-on what do ya got-huh-what do ya got?"

"Ugh...what's black and blue-and internally bleeding all over?" he asked in pain still face down. Creeper pondered for a moment

"Hmm-hmm-black and bl-I got it! Newspaper?"

"My spleen." Riddler moaned half conscience. Robin and Ex enter

"Creeper!"

"Robin! And Robin's girl! Come here, give old Creeper a hug!"

"Gah!" he grabbed them both in for a huge bear hug, still on top of Riddler.

"You know, this is not any less painful."

"You know Creeper, you probably should-"

"Oh right-right." they stepped off of Riddler's back

"Thank you."

"Creeper, what are you doing you-"

"Shhhhhhh." he pointed down to Riddler, they walked outside to continue the conversation "News-casting is soooooo last season kiddies, I wanna join you guys and fight crime, all in the cooky quirky Freakazoid-ish manner you know I'm accustomed to."

"But Jack you can't just-"

"Oh you're right, I need some source of income, Newscaster by day, Creeper by night-come on it'll be fun!" he put his arms around their shoulders "I can help pick up some extra slack, add a few jokes, it'll lighten the mood."

"Well Robin it would be nice-"

"It would." Came Batman's voice from nearby, he jumped down "As long as Ryder is willing to accept the risks-"

"Of course he is, we have ourselves a deal Mr. Batzy!" they shook hands "Now, where are those three?"

"They headed east, towards Midtown."

"The iceberg?" Robin asked

"Iceberg? Well there's no berg's from here to Greenland! No way they made it that far!"

"Uh Creeper, he means the Iceberg lounge." Ex explained

"Oh...I don't get it."

"Come on, Creeper you ride with me, Robin and Ex, take the Ferrari-and oh yes, you're both grounded when we get back for taking it without asking, so Ex, that means no guns."

"Aw."

"And Robin, no nostalgic 1990's cartoons for a week."

"Oh come on!"

"Fair is fair, now let's move out!"

"Ugh. Fine."

They dashed to their respective automobiles and sped off towards Midtown, with the police closing in to take Riddler.

"Whoa-hoo-hoo-hoo, Bats have I ever said how much I love your car?"

"Some other time, look Jack, what the hell is wrong with you? Did you not listen to a word I said?"

"Bats baby come on-being a broadcaster bloooooooooooows, I woke up this morning and thought-my life sucked, but when I was the Creeper, life was good! Like I was telling Robin, newscaster by day Creeper by night, good idea no?"

"No."

"No?"

"NO!"

"No? Why no?"

"It's too dangerous-"

"But-"

"Look Jack, I'm willing to put my life on the line to save others, so are my...kids, it never included the lives of others-"

"But-"

"You are never going to be the Creeper again after today, and I don't want to hear another word about it-GOT IT!" Batman fumed

"Yes sir."

"Good." he noticed a van behind them, it was Summer and Barry "Ugh, just what I need."

"Oh boy Barry did we hit the jackpot or what!"

"I know! Batman and Creeper inside the Batmobile! We gotta get a close-up-[pop-pop-pop...pop-screeeeeeeeeee]...or not."

"Stupid Bat instant spike strips." Summer groaned.

"Well guess were stuck here-hey, wanna play 20 questions?"

"...Eh, why not?"

Over at the Iceberg lounge, still closed during the day, the teams regrouped outside.

"Alright, Ex-Robin and I are gonna go in, and kick ass!"

"Ooh-ooh, what about me?" Creeper asked

"No way way Jose."

"Creeper you are to stay in the Batmobile until we return-I don't wanna hear it."

"Sigh, yes sir." Creeper sighed

"Good." they started for the door "Oh and Creeper?"

"Yes." he perked up assuming Batman would have a change of heart.

"If you touch anything-push anything-or even LOOK AT ANYTHING WHILE I'M GONE-I'm kicking your ass-GOT IT!"

"Yes sir."

"Good, let's go guys."

"Sigh, never let's me have any fun." Creeper groaned arms crossed.

They knocked at the door.

"Boyle tell whoever that is were closed...and if it's a tax collector, tell him he's an idiot, tax season ended yesterday."

"Right-eo." Greed headed for the door "What am I your lousy errand boy?" he whispered, he opened the door "We gave at the off...ice." Greed turned to the camera "Kids, you might wanna look away-[oof]-ahhhhhhhhh-[thud]" Batman knocked Greed into a table.

"It's them!"

"I'll take care of em Pengy!" Croc smirked, he jumped in. and Ex ripped him apart

"Hi-yeah! Yeah!"

"Ow-ow-[dong]-ha-ha, stars look pretty-[thud]" she hit him with a platter, and he hit the floor.

"Ha! Too easy."

"Yeah, that was too eas-[foop]-aw!" Batman was suddenly incapacitated with a net.

"Batman-[foop]-hey!"

"Huh-[foop]-what the?" all three were netted, as it were. Penguin stood above them with his umbrella gun.

"Tsk-tsk-tsk, good help is so hard to find these days." he shook his head

"Eat a dick Pengers, when they come to fight, they come to fight!" Greed yelled half conscience resting against the broken table

"Yeah and we don't have cool gadgedy things like you do." Croc added with the same enthusiasm

"Oh zip it won't you, and now my Bat brethren...you will make an excellent lunch for my seals, hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm."

In the Batmobile, Creeper was bored...again.

"Oh, I can;t just sit here!" he burst out "I know he said to stay, but I can't! I know Batman needs me...I can feel it." he walked into the lounge casually "Look Bats I know what you said but I really feel that-gasp!"

"CREEPER!"

"Creeper help us!"

"Were gonna be bait!"

"Not one step closer Mr. Creeper! Or it's curtains for your friends-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Penguin warned

"Creeper I was wrong!"

"You were!"

"You were!"

"You were!"

"I am...look, if you wanna help...fine, fine-ju-just get us out of this!"

"You need...my help?" Creeper reiterated all excited "Oh happy da-"

"JUST GET EM!" the three yelled

"Oh right right, gotcha!" Creeper jumped for the villainous three.

"Oh God!"

"Penguin! Options!"

"I'm out of nets!"

"So were basically screwed?" Croc asked

"Yup."

"Good."

"No-no-no-NOT IN THE FACE!"

-PLEASE STAND-BY-

Hi there, I'm Niko56, Shows creator, Executive Producer, and writer of every Total Drama Batman episode. We here at TDB, with associations with Fresh TV and Warner Brothers, are regretful to inform you the graphic nature of this particular fight scene, is far too outside our rating boundaries, so for the sake of argument, and to put smiles on Paul Dini's and Bruce Timm's faces, we will show you some rerun footage of Freakazoid! Uh-oh wait, I have just gotten word, the fight is over, okay, back to the show!

-Back With the Show-

The three were brought to the police wagon, and our heroes free.

"Oh, well; twas a good day fellas." Croc sighed

"I'll find that bird again."

"Arkham is nice this time of year, and I get to see my sweet-sweet Harleen-"

"Wait!" Creeper interrupted "You and Nurse Pain? When did this happen?"

"Awhile ago."

"Cheese and Crackers! See, this is why I have to be in the loop!" the car drove away Chris approached Creeper

"Creeper. I thank you for your heroic deeds today, I think I speak for Batman, and everyone else, when I say, your welcome here, anytime."

"Yup, he most certainly is." Batman agreed

"Wow, gosh this is great guys, but now-yawn-time for this super-psycho to get some shut-eye, say could guys gimme-a...lift?" Creeper turned around to see Ex, Robin, and Batman had vanished "What the?"

"Believe me kid, you get used to it."

**The End...**

**Alright yous guys, The Sting is up next, all about Montoya and Bullock! Enjoy! REVIEW! And watch! Yeah!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Pennyworth/The Exterminator

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Jeff Bennett: **Jack Ryder/The Creeper, Additional Voices

**Scott McCord: **Owen Cobblepot/The Penguin

**Mark Hamill: **Ferris Boyle/The Greed Goblin

**Adam Reid: **Justin Jones/Killer Croc

**Carter Hayden: **Noah Nygma/The Riddler

**Mari Devon: **Summer Gleeson

**Paul Rugg: **Barry Schwartzweiner, Additional Voices

**Bruce Timm: **Edmund Rooney

**Jess Harnell: **DJ Shady Slim, Additional Voices

**Grey DeLisle: **Additional Voices

**Niko56: **Myself


	187. The Sting, Part I

**Villain: Rupert Thorne**

**Episode Counterpart: P.O.V. (1992)**

**Story By: Mitch Brian**

**Teleplay By: Sean Catherine Derek&Laren Bright**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 91: The Sting**

Hi there, I'm Rob Paulsen. You may remember me as-oh, we don't have time for a walk down memory lane do we? Well that just wreaks. Um...well uh-Paul Dini walked up to me yesterday and said-hey, boss man wants you personally to narrate this episode, so...come on what the hell right? Uh...you know I am ad libbing the sh*t out of this they gave me no teleprompter no nothing, I just got Eric Radomski next to the camera shaking his head telling me no memory lane...uh-this episode was a partial remake from the episode POV, an early first season episode. We will go into the depths of Bullock, Montoya, and this other sucker about a failed sting operation-I dunno, what I do know is Gil's in it, Thorne is the villain, here it is.

_[Cue Title Card]_

_Rob's POV_

"When I'm done with you three jamokes you won't even qualify as security guards, mall cops, even elementary school truant officers!"

[Collective Gasp]

"Oh yeah, I went there!"

_Alright so, Bullock, Montoya, and this redheaded rookie detective David Wilkes are in an interrogation room sitting in three chairs, being interrogated by this loser, Ronnie, can we get a close-up please? Thank you. This loser, Richard Honnickel, An Internal Affairs Inspector-Uh, Ronnie you can kill the freeze frame now...thank you. Alright he's interrogating them over their screw-up which you'll witness in a moment, uh, in front of Honnickel at a table sits the Commish, and right next to him, the always devilishly handsome Gil Mason._

"Unfreaking believable, I wish I had three feet so I could shove one in each of your asses! You call yourselves detectives-HA! You were all given one simple task and you all manage to muck it up somehow! We spent eight months casing Thorne's rackets, took three weeks to case that warehouse in Bayside to set it up." _Which I might add they did poorly _"Laid out 10 million in TAX PAYER CASH for the sting!" _Your tax dollars hard at work America _"And now, we have one suspect in custody, one dead, three others at large, a warehouse in ashes, all the money gone, no drugs recovered, and you three dumbasses to show for it!"

"_Suddenly I st-I mean, Gil, stands up_

"Alright Honnickel you made your point, that's enough!"

"Clam it Mason! It's my investigation! If I wanna get testy-By God I'll get testy!" he turned back to the three "And so help me if I hear one snicker from me saying Testy you can just turn in your badge right now! Got it!" Three heads nodded "Good, alright, opening arguments-Bullock!"

"Hey!" _Honnickel thwacked the candy bar out of Chef's hand that he was about to eat. _

"Well, I'm waiting."

"Chef, just tell the story-"

"Put a sock in it Mason!"

"HEY!"

"Gil-easy." Chris stopped the Vice Commish from making a big mistake "Inspector, this may be your investigation but Gil Mason is still the Vice police Commissioner of this city, I should hope you know who you're talking to?"

"Oh I know, and seriously gil what are you? First your the Co-Commissioner, then Assistant Commissioner, now the Vice Commissioner, what is it?"

"Vice...Commissioner." he said with venom

"Thank you, Chef-Courtney, Dave, nice and easy, just get us to the part where you all separate."

"Fine, it was 5 hours ago..." Chef began

_Near Bayside Gotham, 5 hours ago. _

_Alright, in the legit episode which was-holy sh*t nearly 20 years ago, starts at this point, Courtney is recklessly driving Wilkes in her squad car to the sting._

"_Uh-you sure you should be driving like that?" Dave asked _

"_Dave take the tampon out of your man-puss and relax."_

"_Sorry. How we doing for time?"_

"_Bullock is meeting us at checkpoint delta at 2300 hours, we'll make it with time to spare, relax." she said screeching through an intersection._

"_Sorry-again-this is my first sting, never been on one before, you?"_

"_Been on a couple, but not to worry kid, it should be a...hot...one."_

"_Holy smokes-literally! You weren't kidding Montoya!" _

_The whole warehouse was engulfed in flames, they pulled up next to Chef's beat up car._

"_What the hell?"_

"_There's Bullock's car." Courtney noticed, they parked next to him_

"_Yeah but where's Bullock?" Wilkes asked, he looked into Bullock's fast-food cemetery of a front seat _

"_I don't know...but believe me Davey, were in deep sh*t either way." she tossed Dave a Remington 870 and herself grabbed a Benelli M4 Super 90 semi-automatic. _

"_Ugh." they heard a faint groaning by a nearby dumpster _

"_Gasp! It's Bullock!" they ran over to him. _

"_Ugh...my car okay?"_

"_Yeah why?"_

"_Good...gotta pizza in there...but it's alright-it's alri-[slap]-ow...bitch."_

"_Bullock you pinhead! What the hell happened?" Courtney fumed_

"_Batman...futzed everything.-[crash]"_

_At a nearby window at the warehouse two guys, well dressed hopped out, carrying two sacks slung over their shoulders._

"_That must be them-"_

"_Wait...more inside." Bullock warned "Got the money...took it all." _

"_Wilkes, take the guys escaping I'll check out the warehouse."_

"_Right away lieutenant!"_

"_Wait...what bout me?"_

"_Rub some dirt in it pizza boy!" Courtney yelled_

"_Ah!" Bullock half conscience looked up at the roof, and caught a glimpse of-"Batman-unh-[thud]" _

. . .

"Alright they story makes sense." Honnickel agreed scratching his chin "The motives aren't clear worth a damn."

"It's cause they was-[thwack]-hey!" the inspector thwacked another candy bar out of Chef's hand. "Not cool."

"Oh I-I'm so very sorry Bullock, here, I got this milky way burning a hole in my sweater vest." _Oh yeah he wears a sweater vest. Before he could give it to Bullock, he licked it._

"Ugh."

"Yuck."

"Real mature." Gil whispered to Chris

"Dude I really hate this guy." Chri whispered back

"There, still want it lardo?"

"Eh, food is food." Bullock took the bar, prompting a facepalm from everyone else, then Honnickel knocked it out of his hand again "Hey!"

"Alright Jake and the Fatman, spill! Whose fault was it that the sting was mucked?"

"I'll tell ya whose to blame for this inspector, it was Batman!"

"Oh, Got dammit, if I had a nickel for everytime I've heard that one I'd be eating nickel soup!"

"He is right though Inspector, Batman was there-"

"Was anyone talking to you carrot top?"

"N-n-n-no sir."

"That's what I thought, alright lieutenant, continue."

"Well Batman showed up on the roof, Wilkes and Montoya were running a little late sos I thought I had to go in before Pointy Ears-"

"Hang on!"

"We weren't late! If anything we were early-"

"You had your chance Montoya! It's Godzilla's turn to tell his story, alright Detective, let's have it." _Bullock loosened his tie_

"Like I said those two were late-"

"Weren't late-"

"SHOVE IT!"

"That tears it! Next one of you who screams is getting court marshaled and this case is getting hung until then, so keep the noise down!" Chris screamed "Bullock, no more foreplay, Montoya, no more interruptions, it's the middle of the night, and believe me, this is the LAST thing Gil and I want to be doing this time of night."

"Sleep being something we want to do...Go on Bullock, we gotta be near a commercial break soon."

"Okay."

. . .

_Chef's POV_

_So I was in the parking lot, you know, lifting some free weights to get pumped and enjoying the aroma of my victory pizza in the back seat, when I saw him! Bats was on the roof, I knew I had to do something, Wilkes and Montoya were late, so I knew I had to go in. I crept in, looking through the maze of boxes stacked on one another, searching for the humming of a large power drill I heard. _

_Sure enough it was in the office where we stashed the money in the safe. The There were five of em. The lead guy, who goes by "Driller" was well, drilling a hole through the safe, the other guy is a Thorne Lieutenant and a regular in his rackets Frankie DeLuca...you guys remember Frankie right? Right. The other was a short fat guy a one Dominic Salieri, I ran him in once for disorderly conduct and pandering, the other two I could not identify, but they were most likely of Sicilian descent._

"Hey Cosa Nostra this mob trivia is all very fascinating but can we move this along please?"

_Humph...anyway, they broke through. _

"_Ha-ha got it!" Driller jumped. They opened it_

"_Ha! Now this gentlemen, is a score." Frankie admired some of the dough _

"_Moma Mia! The boss was right, there must be a couple of mill in here."_

"_Well, stop yacking and start packing, we gotta scoot." they started to fill several doctor's bags with the cash._

_I knew I had to make my move, then this loud voice tipped them...uh, must have been Batman_

_Rob's POV_

Rob here, for those of you tuning in...Bullock had slipped on a paint can, and then ate sh*t.

_I had a reach for my gun...but, they spotted me, that pointy headed freak blew my cover! I stood up_

"_Freeze maggots! Your all under arrest-jeez!" Salieri swatted at me with an ax._

"_Well-well, if it ain't the fat slob Harvey Bullock." Frankie laughed "Boys...give it to im'."_

"_Wit pleasure Frankie!" _

_So I fought them off, oh you guys would have been proud, I kicked their sh*t up and down that warehouse floor. Then that dope Salieri took an accidental swat right at the circuit breaker, sparks set fire to the wood boxes about the warehouse...hence the fire. But kept battling I did! I nearly had em beat. Those sad bastards retreated through the maze, but one of them bastards knocked several down blocking my way._

"_Fry copper!"_

_Though in spite of the fire, I had everything under control, and then Batman shows up and ruins everything-well, lucky I was there to save his sorry butt._

_Rob's POV_

If you hadn't guessed, Batman saved Bullock's life.

Still Rob's POV

"Right, so you saved the Batman."

"Yup."

"Oh get real Bullock! You couldn't save the doughnut boys life! Let alone Batman!" Courtney countered

"And there was a fire there!"

"So...back to the matter at hand, you claim they were ate huh...were you trying to beat em to the collar-or beat em to the cash!"

"That's uncalled for!" Chris interjected

"Sorry Commissioner, just a defense mechanism." Honnickel then turned his attention to Wilkes. "Alright rook, you're next...try not to sh*t yourself when explaining it."

"That's it, I can't take this! I need some air." Gil went for the door.

"Gil, get me a coffee will ya?"

"Sure thing Chris, any you guys want some Joe?"

"Eh, what the hell." Chef agreed

"Me too please."

"And me."

"five coffees got it."

"Oh, I'll have-[slam]-bitch." Gil left before Honnickel could give his order...like he cared "Alright Detective Wilkes...spill the guts."

"Well, like Detective Montoya said we weren't late, honest."

_Wilkes' POV_

_I followed the two suspects to a nearby ally...when, they just vanished, it was a shipping ally between two loading bays of other warehouses. In the middle was a truck. I then heard the starting of a car engine, suddenly, the door swung open, and two lights right at me._

"_AHHHHHH!" they car started right for me, I managed to get a shot off, taking out the passenger_

"_Gah!"_

"_Sh*t!" I ran back (In a straight line cause, why run jagged or to one of the loading bays when you can run in a straight line right?) I tripped, I thought I was a Goner when...he showed up, right in front of me, the Batman!_

_He threw down some spiked balls , which punctured the tires and the car flipped, then he fired some hook thingy, and it shot an electronic ray at the door, and...it flew off, the driver started to run, then Batman tossed some ninja star thing at him, and he fell, Batman grabbed him by the collar, and whispered something to him, the guy went quietly...and very scared I might add, then, just like that Batman vanished_

_Rob's POV_

"Electric rays? Ninja throwing stars? What is this Mortal Kombat meets Star Wars? Figures, a rookie would give a BS story."

"What's he bitching about now?" Gil asked walking in and passing out the coffee

"Oh joy, Mr. Up-tight-britches."

"Anyway, we have the suspect in custody." Chris explained "All we got out of him is that he's Salvatore Guzzo, literally that's all he said."

"Now Inspector, I know we got off on the wrong foot, so I got you some coffee anyhow."

"You did really?"

"NO!" Gil drank half in one gulp "No it's all mi-mi-mi-HOOOOOOOOOT! Oh why oh why did I gulp half of it! OWWWWWWWWW!"

"Smooth move dumbass! Next time just lick the cup. Alright, we got one more dumbass story left, okay Detective Montoya...it's your turn-and hope it's good...all three of your jobs could depend on it." Courtney gulped

. . .

Hey, it's me. Well, Niko, you are the sh*t as always, I have never seen Gil as much of a badass as I've seen him now. This next part is so good, you might actually pee your pants-no joke! Alright, it's shout time, I would like to throw this one out to four very solid bros: Kyrogue23, SargentEpsilon, Sparkling-Nexis137, and PhenonsServant, this is from Niko, and I quote, ahem: "And here I thought I was the only person other than Paul Rugg who still cared about Freakazoid! Yet when I talk for 8 seasons about Biker Mice From Mars, I get the shrugs? What's up wit that?" Alright guys, _please review_ get ready for Part two, I'm gonna go get myself some lunch...now, here's a word from our sponsors.

**To Be Continued...**


	188. The Sting, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Hey guys. Okay so while we were gone, I was just looking over these emails...on my new Ipad! Isn't this thing great, Mark Hamill gave it to me, it's like he's got hundreds of em? Oh well, his loss right. Let's see, emails...One from Billy: Hey Rob, can I borrow your lawnmower...mine broke. Okay, what else we got-ooh, here's one from Tara: Rob, I was wondering if I could have another shot on your podcast to answer more questions, of course-what's that Eric, oh; I'm doing it again, alright guys, Montoya is about to tell her story, hope you-[cracksh]-...enjoy. Yup, that's broken.

_Courtney's POV_

_Again, we had gotten there on time. Bullock was down and told me there were still suspects inside. Well I had kicked open the door to the warehouse to discover it was in fact burning to the ground. I turned to my left, and the three other thugs were coming right at me, muttering something about a Doc Hathcock. They each carried a bag filled with the money. Then they spotted me_

"_Freeze!"_

"_Aw man!"_

"_Coppers are here. Driller! Take care of em."_

"_Yes sir." he charged at me with the drill thing. I managed to dodge him_

"_Yeah! Oop." though he was able to knock my gun from my hand, and kick I right into the fire, more flammable objects exploded for a little dramatic effect. _

"_Come on fellas! It's just a girl, take her!"_

"_Alright Frankie!"_

_I wanted to say something witty and sarcastic back at them, but what could I do? They had me outnumbered. But, it just goes to show, you can't keep a good Courtney, sno I warded them off as best I could_

_**10 seconds later...**_

_What, I never said the best I could was that long. Anyway that fat f*ck had he in a death grip._

"_Frankie we gotta get outta here! This place could fall at any time!"_

"_In a minute Dom...i think we need to show...Detective Montoya here-" Frankie said after reading my nametag "-A little respect when she messes with Mr. Thorne."_

"_But, shes not messes with Mr. Thorne Frankie, shes messing wit-"_

"_Just cut her heart out already Driller."_

"_Da-you got it boss." _

"_No! Nooooo!"_

"_Ha-ha, no one can save you now lady." Driller smirked_

_CRASH_

_and just like on cue, Batman jumped in._

"_Oh no-ahhhhh-[thwack]"_

_I guess Batman got a second wind after Detective Bullock dragged him out, cause he was in rare form, rare enough to kick the asses of three very skilled gangsters. _

"_Come here you freaking-oh God now I'm afraid-not in the face-not in the face-not in the f-[thwack]-ow." _

"_Driller do something!" _

"_Da-you got it Dom! Come here Bats!"_

"_Hmm?"_

"_Ahhhhhhhhhh-aw crud-noooooo-[smash]" He just grabbed him by the drill then threw him to a non burning wall, then I polished off the other guy._

"_Oof-unh."_

"_The building's gonna collapse at any moment! We need to get out now!" I warned Batman. I was just about to cuff them, when I heard this creaking noise above me. The roof was about to collapse!_

"_LOOK OUT!" Batman knocked me out of the way, and the roof fell on top of him._

_He was...buried alive. _

_Rob's POV_

"There was nothing I could do!"

"Poor Batman." Honnickel said sarcastically "But don't feel too bad-one of you is going to fry with him! What we got here is three cops with two stories!"

"I'm telling ya they were late!"

"Commissioner it's just not true! Bullock went in early" Courtney defended

"Yeah!" Wilkes added

"So you're accusing the detective of trying to hog the collar?"

"He may have had good reason...but we were not late."

"So it's my word against there's?" Chef asked "Now what Commissioner?"

"You're all suspended that's what! Until I can make my decision." Honnickel blared

"Suspended No, you can't!"

"But, this job, it's all I got."

"You can't!"

"I'll take your badges and your guns." He pointed to the table. "NOW!"

One by one, Wilkes being first, they put their badges and gun on the table

"Sniff-don't cry Dave...you promised you wouldn't cry." he whispered.

Bullock stomped to the table, he nonchalantly plopped his badge, and slammed his gun, then stomped off.

"Just wanna set the record straight Inspector, you're an asshole." he walked away

"Just doing my job." He turned to Courtney sobbing at her chair "You too Officer."

She slowly got up and dropped her badge and gun onto the table.

"Courtney-"

"No, go away Gil!" she tried to hide her tears, and then dashed out

"Well, I think were done here. Inspector, I hope you hate sleep, cause you're not going to get any until this case is solved, I'll be the first to know something, and when I do, day or night believe me, you're getting the call first, capice!"

"Yes sir commissioner." Honnickel said

"Good." he and Gil were ready to leave.

"I hate to admit it, but Bullock's right you know, you are an asshole." _Man I love voicing badass characters, don't get me wrong I like funny characters, but I also like the badasses._

_So Courtney was taking the above rail home to her apartment in South Gotham, which meant she would have to go through the shipping harbor. She was writing stuff on a notepad to think maybe it could give her some kind of clue._

"Erg-dock-doctor Hathcock-doc-erg." then, she looked out one of the windows at the port. "Gasp, dock, the docks!"

_The car stopped at the port. And Courtney went hunting, she passed through several warehouses alone the channel side, until one building caught her eye._

"Gasp! Hatchcock Shipping! Yes! Now it all comes together!" she ran to the nearest window and peered inside

_She had found her answer. Inside was Driller, and another Thorne gangster, who goes by Scarface, and Scarface was tampering with Batman's utility bat, which caused a pink dye pack to spray his face. Driller simply paced the floor. Batman was hanging by his wrists above the ground by ropes. _

"So, what does Thorne wanna do with pointy ears?" Scarface asked, just as the dye pack sprayed him

"I don't know, but that's their ship docking now."

"Where is Mr. Thorne, is he gonna keep me-hanging around all day?" Batman asked casually.

"Keep your cape on Bats, he's right over there." Driller pointed to the docking ship, Thorne stood on deck with Frankie, Dominic, and many other henchmen.

"There he is Mr. Thorne." Frankie pointed

"Well-well, isn't this the surprise, the sting failed, you fellas got all the loot, and the Batman is all trussed up. Say Bats! How's the weather up there?"

"Not bad, how's the scum treating you down there Thorne?"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha, a jokester to the very last." _outside Courtney used her lock pick to try and jimmy open the door. _"I always liked that in you Batman, your wit is as dry as the martini's I drink. But sadly, you know as well as anyone that all good things have their end-no? Well this, this ends today. You did a lot of good bats, all in 91 episodes, good run, hell you beat Freakazoid! Those Animaniacs, all those horrid Disney shows, And those stupid biker mice, even after their reincarnation, fantastic job if I don't mind saying."

"Yeah, it was incredible alright." Batman then activated a small saw, which popped out of his left glove, which he was able to use to cut the ropes. "So, what do you plan to do with me?"

"Oh good question, skies the limit, I'm just basking in the fact, that it wasn't Joker, it wasn't Poison Ivy, it wasn't Riddler, it wasn't Scarecrow, it certainly wasn't that half-wit Dent! It was me."

"Um...nope, still not you."

"Why do you say that?"

"No real reason really, just this-[snap]" the rope broke, and Batman fell right onto Driller.

"Oh no-[thwack]"

"Grrrr! Get him!" Thorne ordered, his boys disembarked.

"Erg-you little, oh no-AHHHHHHHHHH!" Batman threw driller onto the docks, and he splashed right into the drink.

_Scarface was about to nail him with his pistol, But Courtney knocked him unconscious right into a box with a crane claw on top. _

"Huh? Montoya?"

"I owed you one, remember."

"Uh, no not really."

"There he is!"

"Let's get him!"

"But we got bigger thing's to worry about, come on!"

_So they went ape sh*t on Thorne's men, knocking heads, clonking them into each other. One guy knocked Driller back into the water when he was climbing the ladder to get out. It seemed like they got em all._

"Well, I think that does it."

"Not quite!" Thorne yelled

"You still got me!" Frankie boomed, he held a Tommy gun.

"Crap!" he launched a bat hook to the crane arm, and they flew up as Frankie fired "You okay, he asked Montoya?"

"Dandy."

"Stay put, I'll deal with him. Batman threw a Batarang and knocked out the Tommy

"Erg! Dammit!" Batman then jumped on top of Frankie. "Unh." Montoya had plans of her own. In the crane operating station she raised the huge box, then dropped it near the other Thorne henchmenwhichkilled the dock boards from under them, and they fell into the drink.

"Whoa!"

"AHHHHHHHHH!" There was still one more.

_Batman saw the headlights of a forklift, driven by the water logged Driller._

"Batman! Look out!"

"I see him!" Before he could hit him, Batman jumped into the seat, and threw Driller into a ton of boxes, effectively subduing him.

"Unh-[crash]"

_Feeling smart, Batman then drove the lift off the dock, jumping away in time, the lift hit the ship at the right spot, causing water to rush in. _

"No-No! My boat!" Thorne yelled, he took all the loot, and disembarked.

"Montoya! He's getting away!" Batman yelled

"I'm on it!" she moved the crane claw, which was big enough to trap a person inside, she managed to corner the heavyset Rupert.

"Say goodnight Rupee!" she yelled

"Huh-AHHHHHHHH-[craksh]" she trapped him inside the claw.

"YES!"

"We did it!"

_Everyone showed up for this, even after Batman had vanished like he always does. _

"Montoya I gotta hand it to you, you and the Batman really came through on this one, and thank God, less paperwork I gotta fill out." Chris sighed

"Well done Courtney, this was some grade A piece of work." Gil complimented

"Yeah what a collar!" Wilkes agreed "You didn't just get our money back, you put the whole gang out of commission!"

"What collar? Shes suspended!" Honnickel yelled

"Alright this farce has gone far enough Honnickel! We took out Thorne's gang and recovered our money!" he grabbed the three badges from his pocket, then Gil shoved him aside

"Yeah so YOU shut-up!"

"Detective Montoya earned this collar." Chris said handing Courtney her badges.

"The collar belongs to all of us." she said handing Wilkes his badge.

"Wow, gee thanks partner."

"Gereregr." Chef groaned

"What was that Bullock?" Courtney asked holding up his badge

"I said...thanks a lot Montoya." he smiled, and took his badge.

_From atop the shipping building Batman smiled, and fired a bat hook to an adjacent building, ready to hit the sack himself._

The end...well I gotta admit, that was a fine piece of work...which now cost me an Ipad. Oh well easy come easy go right? Right. Again to all the loyal readers I say thank you for it! I hope you enjoyed, and hope you review! I believe up next is the intro to Jason Todd Drake, Cody's long lost brother correct? I'm getting nods from Eric so yeah it's probably correct, well, if you all will excuse me, I have an audition to get to, for a talking ice cream cone. That should be fun. It'll be tough Frank Welker's auditioning, so's Jason Marsden, Billy West, and that new J.G. Quintel...should be quite a show, then I'm going to swing by the local apple store...and cry.

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

**Emilie-Clare Barlow: **Detective Courtney Montoya

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Rob Paulsen: **Himself, Vice Commissioner Gil Mason

**Kurtwood Smith: **Inspector Richard Honnickel

**Seth Green: **Detective David Wilkes

**Paul Sorvino: **Rupert Thorne

**Brad Garrett: **Driller

**Scott Menville: **Frankie

**Robert Costanzo: **Dominic Salieri

**Ron Perlman: **Scarface, Various

**Billy West: **Various gangsters

**Tom Kenny: **Various gangsters


	189. How I Met Your Brother, Part I

**Villain: Hugo Strange Featuring: The Red Hood (One-shot as villain) **

**Episode Archive: SCHMIZER!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Tom Ruegger&Curt Geda**

**Teleplay By: Joe Landsdale&Bruce Timm**

**Art Direction: Ted Blackman&Ronnie Del Carmen**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 92: How I Met Your Brother**

Alfred was cleaning up Wayne Manor one evening whilst the other occupants had went on patrol. He was listening to a little Chopin on he stereo...aren't you guys glad this is only a story?

"Ah, now that's what I call a clean living room." Alfred said happily. A knock then came at the door.

[knock-knock-knock]

"Coming." he hollered Alfred made himself look more presentable, cleared his throat "Ahem." and checked his breath "Ugh, dreadful, last time I eat a pickle, sardine, and onion sandwich for dinner." he popped in a Tic-Tac "Much better." he opened the door.

"Hi uh...Alfred Pennyworth right?" he asked

The guy was most likely a young adult, maybe 19 or 20. Kind of a light Michael J Fox like voice. Rusty brown hair cut crew style. Built well, 6'2" about 190 lbs, muscle. To the 5'10" of Alfred this was startling. He carried a military duffel over his shoulder. He wore a dirty red t-shit, and old jeans, with even older running sneakers.

"Um...yes, yes it is, to whom am I speaking to?" he asked

"I'm Jason Todd Drake, Well Jason Drake, but, the middle name doesn't really matter."

"Jason Drake?" Alfred pondered scratching his chin

"Yes, my brother Cody lives here...he does live here right?"

"Master Cody never mentioned anything about a brother, good day." he went to close the door, but Jason put his foot in the way.

"Wait! I can prove to you I'm his brother!"

"Oh really?"

"Yeah."

"And how, pray tell, do you intend to do that?" Alfred asked unconvinced

"Just look." he handed Alfred a picture, it was this same guy holding Cody as a baby. "I was only 3 myself in this picture."

"But, if what you say is true...I-I mean, Master Cody never mentioned anything about a brother."

"That's because I split with my mom not soon after this picture was taken, I doubt he would even remember me, I only heard about our dad dying maybe...a month ago, when in fact he's been dead for...what, nearly 6 years?"

"Yes, about that I believe."

"Well, if you still don't believe me, I'll be on my way-"

"No, wait!" Alfred stopped Jason

"Yes?" he turned around.

"You'll catch cold Master Jason, do come in."

Alfred prepared some tea, and sat down with Jason in the living room.

"Thank you." he took a sip

"So you know who I am, how did you find us?" Alfred asked

"About a month ago I ran into this guy, something Vanzetti, I was in Borneo."

"...Really."

"Yeah it was a coffee shop, he noticed I wear this locket, my dad gave it to me, one for me, one for Cody, it's got each of our names in it."

"I see."

"Caught his eye, he asked me if I knew a Cody Drake...well yeah, he's my brother. He said, I know everything about that boy. So we got in a conversation, told me Cody was the vigilante called the Robin, who was dating his daughter, also said Trent Wayne is the Batman? Also told me he lived here, it was the only lead I had, and I didn't want to pass it up."

"If you stayed in Borneo long enough you would know Mr. Vanzetti no longer inhabits the living."

"I'm aware of that...your adopted daughter Sara popped him a mere 7 hours after our conversation. I was there, saw everything. Then I tailed you all back here, watched you for that month...figured tonight was the night."

"Hmm-hmm, oh yes, you are Master Cody's brother. I assume you have no place to stay?"

"You're not wrong."

"Pick a bedroom."

"Thanks."

"Just one thing."

"Yes?"

"How did Mr. Vanzetti find everything out."

"He told me he knew the whole time, he had been watching you all for years, something like that, I doubt he told anyone else, as no ones breaking your doors down-well, other than me."

"Quite."

Later that same evening, Ex, Robin, and Batman returned from a night on patrol, Alfred was waiting for them in the Bat-Cave.

"Evening all, how was patrol?"

"Slow." Batman yawned

"Really slow." Sara added

"Three armed robberies, twelve muggings, Bane causing trouble, the usual slow night." Cody explained taking the mask off his eyes.

"How was your evening Alfred?" Batman asked

"Glad you asked sir, I got all the cleaning done, I made some tea, met Master Cody's long lost brother, cleaned the gutters, polished Sara's gun collection-"

"Wait-wait-wait-wait...wait, what did you say?" everyone asked

"Polished Sara's gun collection?"

"No before that."

"Oh, I cleaned the gutters?"

"No, before that!"

"Finished all the chores-"

"Alfred!" Trent interrupted "He means, the long lost brother."

"Oh yes. You may come down now Master Jason!" Alfred called.

Jason slowly walked down the stairs into the Bat-Cave, he picked out Cody immediately.

"C...Cody?"

"Uh...no?"

"You just let a complete stranger come down here?" Trent asked a little perturbed

"Believe me sir, as the kids say: this one's legit." Alfred whispered

"Cody, it's been so long man." Jason said shedding a small, yet noticeable tear. He gave his bro a proper bro hug.

"I never had a brother!" Cody quickly got off of him.

"Yeah you are, I split with ma when I was three, you were just a kid man, look." he showed him the picture of them both.

"Pfft, anyone could have photo-shopped that!"

"Oh yeah, what about these!" he took out his necklace. "To my boys Jason and Cody. Yours has the same inscription."

"You know, it does, it really does." Sara noticed

"Then that means...BIG BRO!"

"LITTLE BRO!" and here come the tears.

"Sniffle...brings a tear to my eye." Alfred welled up

"Yeah, sniffle-it's-sniffle-sure is a good thing alright."

"Uncle Trent, are you crying?" Sara asked

"No...There's uh...just something in my eye...damn thing's not coming out." he hurried for the stairs.

"So, anything good on TV...Dad?" Sara asked

"Well while we leave these two to catch up, there's a rather intriguing All-Thing's-Tom Ruegger-and-Steven Spielberg-Related marathon on the Warner Brother's network, shall we partake?"

"We shall, Animaniacs, Freakazoid! And Pinky&The Brain here I come!"

The two ventured out of the cave not so long after.

"So, Tuck knew the whole time?" Cody asked

"I guess, he never told me all the gory details, it bored me anyway." Jason chuckled. They passed everyone else watching TV in the living room.

"So, why do they call him the Freakazoid?" Trent asked eating some popcorn

"Cause he's a super teen extraordinaire!"Sara cheered

"That-that does not answer my question at all. Wait-wait, isn't this marathon all about Tom Ruegger?" Trent asked

"And Steven Spielberg." Alfred added

"Yeah but Freakazoid! was created by Paul Dini and Bruce Timm."

"Pffffft, those two couldn't hold a candle to Ruegger, who are they anyhow?" Sara asked

"Two of our shows Executive Producers."

"Oh...heh-heh." Sara looked right into the camera. "Hey guys...how's everyone doing...hey let's see what Cody and Jason are up to." the camera pans over to the bros

"Nice save." Cody chuckled "Alright Jas, you know Alfred, that's Trent, the Batman, all hush-hush of course, and that's my girlfriend Sara, Alfred's illegitimate daughter."

"Well its nice to meet all of you, but it's late, I'm gonna hit the sack." Jason yawned

"You sure, we have so much catching up to do."

"I know, tomorrow."

"Alright." Cody shrugged.

"And since he's an adult, that means nooooooooo adoption papers for this guy." Trent smiled.

Twas later in the evening, Chris and Gil were car pooling home from work. They were near Gotham Estates.

"And that's how I avoided herpes."

"Cool story Gil, remind me to NEVER ask me about your vacations EVER again." Chris sighed

"Ha-ha you got it buddy." they passed a rather nice home. Someone inside noticed them passing by

"Hmm-hmm perfect."

. . .

"Ooh, you hungry?" Chris asked

"Yeah I could go for some White Castle."

"No-no Gil, I'm digging some south-o-da-border chow right now my man, let's hit up Ponchero's or Taco Bell."

"Hmm, is there one close to-[crash-swerve]-OH JEEZ!" Gil swerved away from the flying desk just in time.

"Aw dammit the Mayans were right!"

"No you idiot, that desk flew from that window over there!" Chris pointed to the broken window of the house.

"Oh yeah...ha-ha, shall we investigate?" Gil asked

"Well it's doijg us no good just sitting here."

"Quite right my friend." Gil quickly called it in "411 in progress, 123 Cherry Lane-"

"That's a bank robbery." Chris corrected

"Sorry, 149 in pro-"

"That's a suicide you pinhead!"

"Sorry, 561 in pr-"

"That's a dog taking a whiz on a public trash can-"

"ALRIGHT! DISPATCH THIS IS MASON! POSSIBLE BREAK IN AT 123 CHERRY LANE, SEND BACKUP! AHHHHHHHH!"

"Hey Gil?" Chris asked calmly

"Yes?"

"You okay?"

"uh...yeah."

"Good...now let's go."

"Okay."

the two went through the hole in the window.

"Hello?"

"Gotham Police Department?"

"We uh...saw the desk."

"Look I know the stock market is getting bad but this is ridiculous."

"Yeah right-[bang]-OW!"

"CHRI-[oof]-unh!"

Below the staircase, a guy dressed in combat pants, boots, a leather jacket, and a red face mask shot Chris in the shoulder with his AK-47, then jumped down below crushing Mason on the shoulder.

"You sonofabitch! [pop-pop-pop]" Gil fired as the hooded guy sneaked elsewhere, Gil staggered and grabbed Chris, pulling him to cover.

"Aw crud-aw crap-it's bleeding!"

"No sh*t!" Gil pulled him back into the study, the guy fired again, but the commish's were in cover

"Dammit!" Gil fired back.

"Ha-ha-ha, you may wanna get him checked out Mason, he looks a little...messed up." the guy said in an ominous voice

"Who...who are you?" Gil asked wiping some blood from his nose.

"Just call me...the Red Hood, and this was just a message, I'll be back-[bang-bang-bang]-count on it!" he ran through the window hole he just made with his gun, and jumped into an awaiting Sedan out front. It drove away.

"Red Hood huh?" Gil asked "You just made my list pal-"

"GIL!" GIIIIIIIL!"

"Sigh, it's just a flesh wound commish, I'll get you to the doc you'll be fine."

"I want that Red Hood found! I want him found! And I want it now!"

"I'll work on it!"

Inside the sedan, the driver, obscured spoke to our red hood

"You did well."

"Thanks. So what's our next move?"

"Find out which hospital the Commissioner will be staying...and finish the job."

"No problem." he took the mask off, revealing...dramatic pause...DUN DUN DUNNNN! JASON "Should be easy enough."

**To be continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	190. How I Met Your Brother, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

[Riiiiiiiiiiiiiing-riiiiiiiiiiiing] Alfred heard the phone at the Bat-Cave.

"You know this can only mean one thing." he said "Hmm, perhaps I could get Master Trent's voice." he picked up the phone "Ahem, Bat-Cave."

"_Roll up the tights my friend, because the sh*t is rolling down hall."_

"What's the problem Gil?"

"_Well where do I begin? Oh yeah, I'm sitting on a street corner, while a medic is wiping the blood off my nose, the Commish' is being sent to Gotham Central with a flesh wound to the right shoulder, and to top it all off, there's a psycho killer named the Red Hood running around trying to kill him! I need you at Gotham Central, and I need you now!" he hung up._

"Well that's certainly peculiar."

"You know Alfred, maybe you should take this one, you do my voice quite well." Trent smiled from the stairs

"I trust you heard?"

"I wouldn't be putting on the suit if I didn't." Trent said suiting up. "Gotham Central you said?"

"Yes sir."

"Well then, don't wait up."

"And what of the kids?"

"Ah, let them put a metaphoric smile on Tom Ruegger's face, I'll take this." Batman jumped into the Batmobile, and sped off.

Alfred walked upstairs to see the cute couple cuddling on the couch. Near sleepiness, watching the best episode of Freakazoid, what a pity

"_You were supposed to hold Cosgrove's hand! That's the whole point of the buddy system!"_

"_I know, but it was all sweaty, damp and such."_

"_Well were not going anywhere till we find Cosgrove! I'm going to back track a little, you just stay here." _

"_Grr, I hate this episode."_

"Hmm, I wonder how Master Jason is doing?" Alfred asked

"I'm fine Alfred." he yawned walking down the stairs

"Goodness Master Jason, you're all sweaty."

"I know...yawn...weird right?"

"Yes, quite."

"Well, at least you're in better shape then the Commissioner."

"Commissioner Gordon?"

"There's only one sir."

"What happened?"

"Not sure, but he is laid up right now at Gotham Central Hospital."

"Oh...really." Jason asked looking away."

"Why yes, I'm not sure-Master Jason?" he had already walked up the stairs. "Hmm...strange."

Over at the Hospital Gil was waiting in Chris's room along with Bridgette. Batman appeared at the window.

"Commissioner?"

"Gil, is that him?"

"Yeah boss."

"Oh, so weak...can't...see...him."

"Ugh, I did not sign up for this." Gil groaned "He's fine, it's just a flesh wound, he'll be out in a few days, in the meantime I'll have a few guards keep watch."

"No need..." he turned to Bridgette "Bridge...you can't go...on patrolling, for awhile...stay here."

"Chris no!"

"Wait what do you mean patrol..." Gil put 2 and 2 together...that's 6 right? "Oh my God you're...you're Bat-gngmmgmnm." Bridgette was quick to muffle him.

"Why'd you do that you big dope!" Batman asked

"It's the morphine, it's screwing with me, know what I'm saying G?"

"Wait, I'm G now?" Gil asked

"He means me Mason."

"And if were gonna trust you with this, you gotta keep it on the hush-hush shut-up, got it?" Bridgette asked

"I got it-I got it, not to worry."

"Ugh, I should never have listened to Grandpa Jim and tell Dad my secret." she groaned.

"Just keep watch over him."

"Wait Batman!" Chris shot up.

"Yes Chris."

"I just wanted to say, to you, to Gil, and to Bridgette, that I want this damn Red Hood guy found, and I want it now you read me! I wanna clock him one! I wanna-I wanna...wanna...wan-unh." he passed out.

"And now he's tired." Gil sighed

"You sure you'll be fine?" he asked Bridgette

"Totally."

"Good, alright, I'll be back tomorrow." Batman quickly exited.

"Just try to get some rest, okay Daddy?" Bridgette sighed

"Okay pumpkin...Are we still too late for the All-Thing's-Tom-Ruegger-Related marathon?"

A week had passed. Alfred and the others definitely noticed something strange about Jason's rather unusual behavior.

"Hmm, there's something strange about Master Jason's rather unusual behavior. But I just can't quite put my finger on it." Why do I talk?

"True Alfred, but that doesn't change the fact that he's family now, and-"

"Hey guys."

"Uh...hello there Master Jason." Alfred noticed he was heading for the door. "Where-where are you going?"

"Out for a jog."

"At 11:00 at night?" Sara asked

"Sure, that way I won't have to do it during the day." he then simply left.

"Oh something's up alright." Sara squinted

"I agree, follow him."

"With pleasure."

"And remember, be discrete."

"Dad come on...it's me." Alfred smiled a little

"Alright then."

Alfred walked into the kitchen. And put the finishing touches on the dishes.

"Ah, is there anything a freshly washed dish can't solve-[clong]-unh...[thud]" he K-Oed Alfred with a platter.

"Perhaps not, but at least you're out of the way Mr. Pennyworth." Hugo Strange laughed, he quickly got over his com link

"Hood...Hood?"

"_Yeah boss?"_

"Pennyworth's headed your way."

"_I'll take care of her boss." _

"Perfect...now I must get to the hospital, wouldn't want to miss the death of the Commissioner, ha-ha-ha-aha-ha-ha-ha!"

Ex followed Jason until she lost him in the thicket of the woods, but what luck, she came upon the mysterious Red Hood, gearing up.

"No way, isn't that the Red Hood guy?" she mused, getting her Katana ready "Oh what a score this will be, hope he goes-quietly?" she noticed he had disappeared "Well that's-[sploosh]-unh...weird!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Red Hood appeared, after shooting Ex with this glue like substance, adhering her to a tree, her captor approached her "Well-well, the Exterminator, isn't it?"

"Erg-Red Hood I presume? Erg!" she struggled

"You presumed right there Doll face."

"Boy aren't you smug." she spat.

"Quite right. You know I really gotta thank you guys, trusting me with all this information, like where the Commissioner is, it's really gonna help ya know, when I kill him after I'm through with you."

"Wait...how did you...but we only...then that means...GASP!"

"Yeah, you guessed it."

"I knew-I KNEW IT!" she struggled

"You know Sara, I would love to stay and chat, but I have a date with a killing, I'm sure you know what that's like, right? Right." he walked away

"This isn't over! GAH! I'LL GET OUT! I WILL!"

"Yeah I'm sure!" he walked away. "Mr. Strange?"

"_Go ahead?"_

"Meet me at the hospital, I'm getting rid of the problem tonight."

"_Hmm-hmm, excellent Hood, I'll meet you there."_

"Perfect."

At the Hospital, Dr. Tomkins was looking over Chris's...condition. Gil, Batgirl, and Batman were in the room as well. While Robin stood guard outside.

"Well Commissioner, it appears your condition is improving, I estimate you will be checking out by tomorrow." she said happily

"Well, that's good news...considering." he sighed

"You'll pull through Dad, like you always do." Batgirl smiled.

"Yeah, and the first thing I'm doing is something about this damn Red Hood guy!"

"He's spent the passed week just causing trouble, we can never catch him...he's wily, he's slippery." Batman explained

"And far too unpredictable...where does he get his edge?" Gil asked

"Beats me."

"I'm sure, wherever the Red Hood is, you'll catch him." Leslie assured them.

"Right, wherever he is." Batman looked out the window.

Down the hall, Red Hood, and Strange starred Robin down.

"There he is Hood, your brother, strike him down, do it...then kill the Commissioner."

"Erg, with pleasure." he said a little hesitant.

"Good, tell me when you're about to do it, I want to observe."

Red sneaked towards Robin, he turned around as he was about to get-WRECKED

"ERRRRRRRG!"

"Huh-[thwack]-ugh." he hi the wall, beaten. "You." he sighed

"Ha-ha, you're losing your touch bro." he smirked

"Bro?" Robin asked in disbelief. Hood kicked the door open.

"Hood!" Gil jumped!

"You! Get out! Haven't you caused enough!" he kicked her down

"Leslie!"

"It's just you and me com-[thwack]" he found himself chokeholded by Batgirl. "ERG! Dammit!"

"No way Hood! Not this time!"

"Ha, your not so tough!" he threw Batgirl into Batman

"HEEEEEEY!"

"Unf!" Batman was able to get up. "No Red Hood-"

"Oh don't bore me with a speech. He sprayed Batman with some of the glue goop.

"Erg!"

"And some for you Mason!"

"HEY!"

"Now...where were we-Mr. Strange, all clear sir!" he called

"STRANGE!" everyone asked in disbelief. Strange entered

"Vunderbar, do it, finish him off."

"With pleas-"

"Jason wait!" Robin yelled

"Huh?"

"What are you waiting for you fool! Ignore him!"

"I see now...your late nights, your alibis all that...Strange screwed with you, didn't he."

"No...he-"

"I did...i managed to make your brother my own mind slave, after i overheard the conversation with him and Vanzetti in Borneo. Talk about a bit of Serendipity hmm? I made him my own personal concoction, makes one permanently evil, unless they can somehow break it themselves-ha-ha."

"Jason don;t do it."

"Erg."

"Fight it! I know we don;t know each other well, but come on, I'm your brother...who you gonna listen to huh?"

"Erg-erg." he became shaky

"What are you waiting for! DO IT!" Strange ordered "NOW!"

"No." he dropped the gun.

"No, what do you mean-"

"I said-NOOOO!" he knocked Strange out, and tore the mask off.

"Well I'll be a son of a gun." Batman smirked.

"Wait a minute, brothers? Oh, this is confusing me." Gil sighed

"...Bats, why can't you guys do cool sh*t like that?" Chris asked

"Yup, he's feeling better alright."

The next day everything was back to normal, as always, and the gang was at Wayne Manor enjoying the indoor pool.

"I gotta hand it to you Jason, that was a fantastic job you did."

"Thanks Trent."

"Remember, you always have a home here."

"I will."

"So, a families love breaks Strnage's spell does it?" Sara asked

"Sure does."

"Well that's good news, I guess it is true what they say." Alfred explained

"What?"

"Will power trumps science every time." TAKE THAT SCIENCE!

"Sure does."

"Hey bro, bet my cannon balls bigger!"

"Your so on!"

"Sigh, bros will be bros." Sara shook her head.

**The End!**

**Alright kiddos! That was fun, and we got the business trip up next, a little freeze, a little crow, a little Luthor, and a whole heap of trouble! REVIEW! And stay tuned!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Pennyworth/The Exterminator

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

_**Guest Starring...**_

**David Kaufman: **Jason Drake

**Loren Lester: **The Red Hood

**Corey Burton: **Dr. Hugo Strange

**Rob Paulsen: **Vice Commissioner Gil Mason

**Kath Soucie: **Dr. Leslie Tomkins

**Paul Rugg: **Freakazoid **(Freakazoid!)**

**David Warner: **The Lobe **(Freakazoid!)**


	191. Business Trip? Part I

**Villain(s): Mrs. Freeze, Scarecrow**

**Episode Archive: NARF!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Frank Paur**

**Teleplay By: Randy Rogel&Brynne Stevens**

**Art Direction: Eric Radomski**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 93: Business Trip?**

We take you now to a scenic view of...The Pacific Ocean. Yes, the Bat Team and friends are 30,000 feet high, literally. Trent was called to Maui on a business trip with the biggest name in Metropolis since Superman, Lex Luthor.

Trent, had first class, and because of a very convenient and comical ticket mix-up, he sat with Geoff, Cody and Sara sat together...making out, Bridgette sat with Mayor Hill's son Jordan, Mayor Hill sat with Jason, and Alfred sat in a middle seat in coach squeezed between a fat guy snoring, and a woman trying to calm her crying baby...there's always one on every plane.

"Ugh, non-stop Gotham City to Maui...14 hours." Geoff groaned.

"Were almost there Geoff, relax, it's not everyday we go to a nice place like Maui."

"I guess you're right, it will be a nice vacation."

"Uh, vacation for you, business trip for me." Trent retorted

"Oh yeah, I hear old Luthor's a high roller, this won't be your typical easy score of a deal."

"Tell me about it, but I like I always say: Everyone's got a weakness."

"You are aware you're not the only person who says that bro."

"Ugh, eat your peanuts." Trent groaned shoveling them into Geoff's face.

Cutscene over to Bridgette, trying to get some sleep herself, she had a window seat.

"Hey Bridgette...Bridgette...Bridgette?" Jordan kept poking her.

"Grrrr-WHAT!" she snapped

"Foods here." he pointed to the flight attendant with two trays of food, looking at her awkwardly.

"Oh...ha-ha-ha." she chuckled sheepishly

"Are you two enjoying your flight?" she asked

"Well for 14 hours, I've been through worse, I guess." Jordan shrugged

"Good, I think." she walked away awkwardly.

Next we cutscene to Jason and Mayor Hill. Several rows ahead.

"And that's how he lost a testicle."

"Wow...thank you Jason, I now have no appetite."

"Too bad, hey you gonna eat that roll?" he asked

"Ugh, it's yours." Hill sighed

"Thanks."

"So, do you feel like all the serum has been taken out of your system?"

"Yeah, considering it's been a week and I don't feel the sudden urge to pummel Commissioner Gordon into a bloody and useless pulp."

"Well, we all have those days. Don't we?"

And now over to Cody and Sara, who have taken a break from kissing to catch a much needed breath.

"Sigh...ready to go in five more minutes Codypie?" she asked caressing his belly.

"Sure, but boy am I parched." he called for the flight attendant.

"Yes sir?"

"Yes, I'll have a Roy Rogers please, hold the Roy and don't skimp on the Rogers."

"Ugh, so basically you just want a coke?"

"Huh...yeah that works?"

"Then why didn't you just say that?"

"Well I don't tell you how to live your life! Or how to order your beverages!"

"Humph." Sara rolled her eyes, and looked out the window "Wonder How Alfred's doing?"

. . .

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-shhhhhhhhhh."

"Waaaaaaaaaah!"

"Baby please, just be quiet, were almost there...almost there."

"...I hate my life." the butler groaned, with his arms crossed.

. . .

"So Ham, how goes the politician business?"

"Glad you asked Jason, why just yesterday, THE president of the Environmental Protection Agency called yours truly on a matter of most imp-"

"Ooh, hold that thought Ham, pipes need cleaning!" Jason jumped up and sprinted for the first class bathroom "Coming through!"

. . .

"You sure it was wise to take all of us to Maui, and leave Gotham completely unprotected?" Geoff asked

"Relax will ya, I got it all figured out-"

_-Flashback- _

_Gotham PD, yesterday evening._

"_Okay Mr. Freakazoid, you protect the city, and 1000$ and some Chocolate Chocolatey Bars are all yours."_

"_Pleasure doing business with you Batman! And you have nothing to fear! Cosgrove and I will have this city-" Chris's office door opened, and Freak's handler Sgt. Cosgrove entered_

"_Hey Freakazoid, you wanna get a sandwich?"_

"_Do I!" he and Cosgrove exited the office_

"_So...what, is he gonna be in like, every episode now?" Chris asked_

"_Not every, Need I remind you the creators of that show are two of our current executive producers."_

"_Don't remind me, the last thing I need is-huh? Every TIME!" he disappeared_

_-Flashback over-_

"Freakazoid? Your putting the hands of our city...in Freakazoid?"

"Yup."

"Insanity!" Geoff groaned getting out of his seat. And folding out his other seat...how cool is that wheel chair?

"Where you going?" Trent asked

"How many things...at 30,000 feet, could I possibly have to do?" he asked

"Ha-ha, good point." Geoff headed for the first class bathroom, with handicap access where Jason had cut in front of someone dressed in a trench coat and large hat to conceal themselves for sure.

"Gang way, too slow-[slam]"

"Humph, rude much." the person groused. Geoff tried to get in front "Excuse me, I'm in line here."

"Okay-okay, sorry, I'll just go to coach then."

"Hmm." the person groaned

"Okay, up yours too." Geoff whispered. He headed back into coach, he noticed another person in a trench coat sitting by themselves, he kept rolling on, then he passed Alfred.

"WAAAAAAAH!"

"ZZZZZZZZ-SHHHHHH!"

"How's your flight buddy?"

"Oh shut-up." Alfred spat not even acknowledging him.

Geoff chuckled "Oh, Alfred." Then Geoff rolled into someone else, who had just gotten out of the coach bathroom, he accidentally knocked her over

"Oh."

"Whoa-jeez."

"Unh."

"Oh God I'm so very sorry." he picked up something presumably her driver's license "Ms. Andrea Beaumont?"

"Oh no, it's quite alright, thank you."

" No problem."

"Thank you." she walked back to her seat nearby.

"Boy do you meet the creepiest people on airplanes."

Eventually they touched down at the airport in Maui. Twas a beautiful day in Hawaii. A bombing 93 degrees, not a cloud in the sky. Everybody claimed their bags.

"So Trent, I assume we'll be riding in style to our hotel, right?" Bridgette asked

"It's Trent Wayne, do you have to ask?" Jordan asked

"Come on dude, you chartered a stretch Hummer limo right?" Geoff asked

"Nope."

"Stretch Cadillac limo?" Sara asked

"Nada."

"Stretch...limo?" Mayor Hill asked getting less, and less positive

"Guess again."

"Limo...of any kind?" Cody asked

"Not quite."

"Then, what are we going in, dare I ask?" Cody asked

"Ladies and gentlemen I give you...The Hotel Shuttle bus!" Trent pointed to it. Everyone gave him a blank cricket stare.

"Unbelievable."

"6th richest man in the world...and we take the shuttle bus."

"Hey stop complaining, it is maybe a mile to the hotel!"

"Net worth $38,500,000,000...and he makes us take the damn bus."

"I already sprang for the two deluxe presidential suites, I felt a limo for this small a distance to be, well, superfluous."

"Ahem." Trent looked to his left

"Superfluous as it may seem, gentlemen with our statures Mr. Wayne do not need to condescend to taking such an awful shuttle bus."

"Lexy old boy." Trent gave him a handshake

"I thought I felt a chill." Hill whispered

"I just got word from your Vice President Mr. Fox, he's already waiting for us at the conference room."

"Yeah he already called me."

"Please Mr. Wayne, join me in my limo."

"Oh I couldn't impose." cause he doesn't like you

"Oh but I insist." he nearly pushed him towards it. "Mercy! Take Mr. Wayne's bags." he asked his secretary

"Sure thing Lex." Trent shrugged and hopped into the limo.

"I don't like him." Jason squinted.

"Come on, let's get on the awful bus."

"He didn't even recognize you dad." Jordan pointed out.

"Believe me son, I wouldn't go in that man's car is it was the last on earth." they got on the cramped bus, Geoff noticed one of the shady figures from earlier on the plane

"Oh great." he whispered to Jason who was right next to him "See that guy?"

"The fat chick or the Creepy guy?"

"The creepy guy."

"Yeah?"

"Bad news bro."

Not soon before Long, the limo got under way.

"Hmm, nice leather." Trent noticed

"It's rich Corinthian Leather, very expensive."

"I know, I have a limo similar to this."

"Ha-ha I'm sure." Lex took out a nearby box "Cigar?"

"Thank you." Trent sniffed it. "Cuban?"

"Of course."

"May I offer you a drink?" Lex asked taking a puff of his cigar.

"It's 5 o'clock somewhere." Lex took out a shaker "Martini?"

"Shaken, not stirred."

"Not a problem."

"So Lex, about this contract-"

"Oh Trent please, no business until we get to the meeting."

"Hmm, I like that about you...oh and-sorry about sniping Mr. Hozako from you a while back."

"Eh, business is business my friend, I got a rather tempting offer from Mr. Wozniak of Apple not soon after..." Lex sipped his drink. "And besides, that Hozako guy was a nut...pizazz? We run mega corporations, not amusement parks."

"Actually, I bought the Six Flags franchise last year."

"Ha-ha, I'm in the process of purchasing Disney myself."

Back at the airport, the other shady figure saw a valet holding a sign with her name on it, he had a mustache.

"You Fries?"

"No, YOU FREEZE!"

"Huh-[verrrrrr]-ahhhhh-[crack-crack]" he became a block of ice

"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...get's em every time." she took his keys, which fell "I don't ever like using my brother in law's crazy last name." she spazed a little "But the joke is always worth it." Mrs. Freeze walked outside "Now which car is yours." she pressed the unlock button, and a standard black Lincoln Limousine blinked "Ugh, well it'll have to do, I guess. And since I'm not in Gotham, that means there will be no Batman to stop me...look out Hawaii, I predict a cold front approaching-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" she drove away.

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	192. Business Trip? Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

The gang arrived at the hotel, and were greeted by bellhops with fruity island drinks with the umbrellas in them.

"Aloha!"

"Welcome to the Maui Hawaiian Resort!"

"Fruit Smoothie?"

"Well, the bus ride sucked...but at least were in paradise!" Geoff cheered

"Finally, a vacation worth living for!" Bridgette plopped into his lap.

"Alright, let's check in." Ham led them to the front desk.

"Checking in?"

"Yes, I'm Ham Hill, checking in the Hill/Wayne Party."

"Alright then Mr. Hill, just sign here for your keys."

"Excellent." Ham happily signed the waver. Ah...America.

"Alright then, here are your keys to the presidential suites-[ZOOM]-hmm, they sure needed a vacation." they had stormed off before anyone noticed, the other creepy looking dude from the bus checked in next

"Checking in sir?"

"Yes, Crane, room for one."

"Ah yes Mr. Crane, just need you to sign here for your keys...very good, and here you go, room 1313."

"Thank you, oh and, I want fresh towels in my room immediately, and some toast with marmalade."

"Uh...sure thing."

"Excellent-Garcon-eh!" he called the bellhop

"Yes sir."

"My bags."

"Very good sir." he walked away without leaving a tip.

"Hmm-jerk."

Not soon after, Guess who arrived at the front desk.

"Burr-did it just get cold in here?" The receptionist asked

"Yeah-yeah I get that a lot. Smithy, Dora Smithy."

"Uh-uh, oh yes Ms. Smithy-"

"Just sign here-yeah-yeah-blah-blah-blah I got it."

"Alright, room 2222."

"Thank you muchly. And by the way, you look so stressed if I don't mind saying, I think you need to chill-[verrrrr]-out, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." she walked away, leaving the front desk girl frozen.

Over at the hotel conference center, on the top floor of the facility, which had a few dozen windows illuminating it, Mercy; Lex's short haired chauffeur, led them in.

"Right this way gentlemen."

"Thank you Mercy."

"No problem Lex."

Lucius greeted them

"Gentlemen."

"Mr. Fox I presume."

"Hey Lucius."

"Mr. Wayne. Mr. Luthor, I noticed you haven't brought over anymore of your associates." Lucius noticed

"Who needs them? I prefer to to do business on my own, so gentlemen." he sat at a chair "Let's talk."

They gulped. Now we cutscene you over to the beach. Bridgette was surfing of course, Geoff was catching some rays, Even Mayor Hill and Jordan decided to...catch some mad swells yo, oi the cast of Stoked is gonna slap me upside the head.

Cody and Sara were relaxing in the jacuzzi along with Jason. And by relaxing I mean making out like Season 2 Bridgette and Geoff...that was not with Jason. As for Alfred, he was in the casino, swindling the dealers at Blackjack. I guess the British have a knack for playing cards. And now watch as I ruin their vacation with the tick of a few keys. First the beach.

"Hey Geoff! Geoff! Wanna watch me surf!" Bridgette yelled about to catch a swell.

"No, not really!" He called back not even looking at her.

"Erg-you su-AH!" can you say WIPEOUT!

"Uh, Bridgette?" Jordan asked swimming her way as she resurfaced

"Yes Jordan?" she asked gritting her teeth looking at Geoff.

"I don't wanna tell you how to surf...but uh, aren't you supposed to stay on the board?"

"Ergggggg." she was steaming.

"Forget it Jordan..it's Hawaii." Ham said next to him. "Come on son let's surf."

"Okay!"

An angered Bridgette- (Who in MY show, wears a two piece light blue bikini...has a nice ring to it doesn't it...MY show, I do I say I like the sound of that)-stomped over to Geoff.

"ERG!"

"Oh boy, you're pissed, that's a whole new shade of red for you."

"Geoff, make no mistake, I've knocked the crud out of bigger than you!"

"Annnnnnnnnd."

"A good boyfriend is supposed to watch their girlfriends in their pursuits! No matter how trivial!" It was in last month's Cosmo so it must be true!

"Look, if it will make you feel better-"

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

"GAHHHHHHHHH!"

"SHARKS!"

"TEETH!"

"Huh?" Bridgette looked around, and sure as sugar, there were sharks all in the water.

"Aw crud! Ham and Jordan are in that ocean...and so are so many obnoxious tourists!" Bridgette yelled

"Easy there MacStew! Did you even-huh?" before he could do a double take, Batgirl was right in front of him.

"Yes I did, don't wait up."

"H-how did...Niko, now would be a good time for a transition bud."

Ask and ye shall receive, first over to a couple of tourists trying to save their friend from a shark.

"HELP! HELP ME!"

"Jimmy!"

"HEEEEELP!"

"Johnny! What are you doing! We gotta save Jimmy!"

"No Jake."

"But we g-"

"NO JAKE! He's gone!"

"But-"

"Forget it Jake...it's Hawaii."

"Fear not citizens and obnoxious tourists of Maui! I Batgirl am here to save you! And I'm not sure why just I said that." She leaped into action, only to notice V-Bat had joined her.

"What? How did you-"

"Forget it Bridge...It's my dad." Jordan answered.

"True."

"Alright stand back civilians!"

"We'll handle this."

"Ready?" V-Bat asked

"Oh yeah."

"HI-YAH-[splash]"

'Huh?"

"But, the shark-"

"Was right there."

"Did we just-"

"Look! Another one!" V-Bat noticed, they leaped

"HI-YAH-[splash]"

"What in the world-"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." on a boat nearby, they saw-

"SCARECROW!"

"Bats', hmm, I thought I could enjoy my scary vacation, eh? Why's you both have to ruin everything like always eh?"

"Lemme guess, unreal sharks caused by your fear toxin?" Batgirl asked

"Very good eh. But I can assure you, these are real, eh." he opened a cage on the boat, and two small great white's plummeted out.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

...Gotham City...

"Hey Freakazoid, did you hear that?"

"Hear what Cosgrove?"

"Yeah, me neither."

...Maui...

Over in the boardroom, the boys were going over some legal crap, when Trent heard a cry for help.

"HELP!"

"Huh?" he looked out the nearest window. "Scarecrow." he squinted.

"I tell you what Lucius, these negotiations are quite in-where you going Mr. Wayne?" Lex asked

"Uh...bathroom." he said nervously. He left.

"Hmm...odd." Lex pondered

"This happens pretty frequently Mr. Luthor, Mr. Wayne is very...he..."

"Small bladder?"

"Like a child."

. . .

"Of EVERY place...he chooses here, I have the worst luck!" Trent snarled quietly sneaking into his Bat-suit.

Batman swung down towards the beach, where his counterparts were battling the sharks

"What took ya?" Geoff asked

"Shove it." he complained. Batman jumped in, and grabbed both great white sharks by the tail.

"Hey."

"Batman."

"Kick his ass! I got these."

"You bet!" they turned their attention to Scarecrow on the boat.

"No-no wait-ahhhhhhh!"

"Whew, okay, got to get back to the meeting." Batman grunted throwing both sharks far out into the ocean...i did say they weren't adult great white's. He dashed back to the hotel, V-Bat, and Batgirl carried Scarecrow to the nearest dumpster.

"No-no-no come on eh, we can talk about this-[slam]"

"Well that takes care of that."

"Come on let's get back to the beach Batgirl."

"Okay."

Over at the jacuzzi Jason Cody and Sara were enjoying themselves. The couple took a break from their smooch sess.

"You done?" Jason asked

"For now." Sara giggled Alfred then joined them "Daddy!"

"Hey kids. Ooh that feels nice." Case and point, no elderly individual should EVER wear a swimsuit.

"Thought you were at the casino bud." Cody asked

"I was, but after I nearly looted the table of all it's money I thought I'd join you guys."

. . .

"Hit me."

"3."

"Hit me."

"Ace."

"I'll take one. Hit me."

"Nother' Ace."

"Still one. Hit me."

"2."

"Hit me."

"Nother Ace."

"Still one. Hit me again."

"Queen of diamonds."

"Stay."

"Your call." Alfred flipped over his cards

"21."

"Hey we have a winner."

. . .

"It's a shame for the guy next to me."

. . .

"Peter I don't think you should-"

"Hit me."

"21! We have a winner."

"Oh Peter that's-"

"Hit me."

"...That's 30."

"...Hit me."

. . .

"Where have I heard that before?" Jason pondered suddenly, the hot tub became cold

"What in the world?"

"Now this is absurd."

"Got Dammit! If I wanted a cold tub I'd ask for it!"

"Funny-"

"GASP!"

"And if I wanted a bunch of stupid kids and some old fart to complain about how I spend my vacation...I'd ask for it as well."

"Mrs. Freeze?"

"Oh, thanks for the intro...hey, aren't you Trent Wayne's Butler?"

"Uh...No-I'm...I'm Shir Shean Connery, at your shervicsh mish." Atta boy Efrem!

"So...who wants to be frozen first-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Back at the boardroom, Trent arrived back.

"Sorry I'm late."

"Mr. Wayne, we were almost about to make the deal without you...what happened?" Lex asked

"Uh, toilet's backed up."

"Hmm, did you happen to notice Batman Mr. Wayne?"

"Bat-who?" Trent asked nervously.

"You know the Batman-"

"Mr. Wayne, Lex here is poetically and passively asking you if you are the Batman."

"Thank you Mercy."

"No problem Lex."

"Batman? Me? Pfft? Come on, now about this deal-"

"HELP!"

"Oh no." he walked over to the window, and starred down at the indoor pool with a glass roof. "Freeze? Come on?" he turned to the door. "Uh-Bathroom, lemonade goes right through me!"

"Hmm...interesting." Lex pondered.

Trent comically and hastily dressed, and Batman dashed down to the pool, freezing his co-thwarts, and others.

"Ha, just the way I like it...nice, and cold, ha-ha."

"Oh gimme a break!"

"Huh?" she turned around. "Batman! What are YOU doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Well I don't know how you got here." on a plane dumbass "But I know how you're getting out, the hard way!" she raised her gun, only for it to be ker-snatched by a batarang.

"Oh crud." he lunged

"Bats it's my vacaaaaaation!" she complained throwing some combos.

"Business trip for me!" he ker-smacked her right into one of the hot tubs.

"Yai-[splash]...wait for it...-YEOW! HOT! HOT HOT!" she jumped up. Batman grabbed her.

"Now that takes care of that." and then he tossed her in the dumpster Scarecrow was trying to get out of.

"No-no-no-[smash]" the door closed.

"Freeze?"

"Scarecrow?" the garbage trucked then picked up the trash.

"This was my new turf." she snarled

"This was MY new turf!"

"Why I outta!"

"Oh that's it!" they fought...all the way to the dump.

Batman thawed everyone out in the tub.

"Batman!"

"If you all will excuse me." he dashed back up to the meeting room barely getting his business suit.

"I'm here!"

"Well Mr. Fox I think this deal is very agreeable." the two shook hands.

"I agree as well Mr. Luthor." he winked at Trent, who nodded with a half smile.

"Mr. Wayne, we'll need your signature, uh sorry to keep you waiting." was that sarcastic?

"No problem Lex." Trent signed the document

"Fantastic, come Mercy, we need to unpack."

"sure thing Lex." they exited

"Well?" Lucius asked

"What...are...the...odds."

. . .

"So?" Mercy asked

"Keep close tabs on him Mercy."

"Hmm-hmm, this phony deal was a good idea wasn't it?"

"Very good Mercy, now I'm going to need more proof, but...I am nearly convinced Trent Wayne is...The Batman.

**The End...?**

**ALRIGHT! The epic three part finale is coming up next, all about Harley! Enjoy, Review! And get ready for the most epically-epic thing since The Dark Knight...or at least the last Season Finale. Stay Tuned...**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill/V-Bat

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Pennyworth

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Clancy Brown: **Lex Luthor

**David Kaufman: **Jason Drake

**Peter Oldring: **Prof. Ezekiel Crane/Scarecrow

**Jennifer Hale: **Dora Smithy/Mrs. Freeze, Flight attendant

**Morgan Freeman: **Lucius Fox

**Lisa Edelstein: **Mercy Graves

**Tress MacNeille: **Jordan Hill, Receptionist, additional voices

**Dee Bradley Baker: **additional voices

**Lauren Tom: **additional voices

**Kevin Michael Richardson: **additional voices

**Paul Rugg: **Freakazoid

**Ed Asner: **Sgt. Cosgrove

**Dana Delaney: **Andrea Beaumont

**Seth MacFarlane: **Peter

**Alex Borstein: **Lois


	193. Joker Must Die! Part I

**Villain(s): Harley Quinn, Joker Featuring: Poison Ivy**

**Episode Archive: FROINLAVEN! **

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Alan Burnett**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami&Bruce Timm**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 94: Joker Must Die! (Part I)**

Ding-dong

knock-knock-knock-knock-knock

"Hey! The Mat says Get Lost for a reason!" the door flung open Ivy blared "WHAT-oh."

Ivy saw the most pathetic sad little thing on her front porch. A broken, crying Lindsay. With plenty of violins in the background orchestra for dramatic effect. She was wearing the harlequin outfit, but with no make-up, no crown. And she was crying. She also had two suitcases at her sides. Ivy knew what this meant, besides good sex. It meant Joker kicked her out, yet again.

"Sob-sob-snivel-sob."

"Yikes...2 suitcases...usually it's just what you have on your back...this could be a couple of months." she then smiled "Come on in Harl, mi greenhouse es su greenhouse." she welcomed her on again off again lover in.

"Th-th-th-ank-ank-ank-y-y-y-you-ou-R-R-Re-Red." she choked entering with her luggage.

"No problem sweet stuff, Ivy's gonna make it all better like always, you stay for a few weeks, or a month or so, we do it like animals, commit a few felonies, and then you feel better and go crawling to that sad excuse for a clown and in time we start the process all over again-SO, let's skip all the formalities and just have sex."

"You left out one minor detail Red." Lindsay interjected crossing her arms

"Aw nut bunnies! You're right Harley, how could I forget the toys!"

"No!Well yeah, but I mean that I'm never-ever-ever-ever-EVER going back to Mistah J ever again."

"Ha-ha, yeah yeah Harl, sure-sure, now get undressed."

"I'm serious!"

"You're never serious." Ivy insisted, she put on a pot of tea.

"I am now!"

"Harley, I love, I mean LOVE you, but you are never serious."

"Name one example!" she asked standing up.

"Okay." Ivy sighed turning away from the stove "Every time you come here, you always say you're leaving the Joker for good, right?"

"Well." she looked away and dusted her foot about the floor "Kinda."

"You do it every time! And then you just go right back, so he can abuse you more and treat you like a...a...a...slave!"

"I mean it this time! And besides, how many times have I actually said-"

"_I'm never-ever-ever-ever-EVER going back to Mistah J ever again...I'm never-ever-ever-ever-EVER going back to Mistah J ever again...I'm never-ever-ever-ever-EVER going back to Mistah J ever again...I'm never-ever-ever-ever-EVER going back to Mistah J ever again...I'm never-ever-ever-ever-EVER going back to Mistah J ever again." _Ivy took out a tape recorder

"You...you recorded me?" she asked in disbelief.

"I'm sorry Linds...but it just goes to show, you say it every time...and you just go back. Now I will gladly let this cycle repeat for as many times as long as either one of us lives..." she put her hand on Lindsay's shoulder. "But you're not gonna get anywhere in life if you just let Joker treat you like a doormat...with fantastic boobs and a sweet ass but, a doormat's a doormat." she started to cry again. "Here, why don't you tell me what happened."

"Okay." Harley sat on the couch. Ivy poured the two some green tea.

"Well, aren't you gonna start?" Ivy asked

"Oh, there's supposed to be a transition here, or something?"

_PAUL! How many times do I gotta tell ya? All edited scripts go through ME first, then the director, then Andrea, THEN the recording studio! I did not approve of this...Paul...PAUL?_

Erg! Anyway...erg...count to 10...count to 10...ANYWAY...over at Wayne Manor...Alfred was reading the days paper in the Bat-Cave.

"Hmm most amazing feat of bravery master Trent, the whole Joker gang?"

"Yeah but he and Harley got away."

"Doesn't it bug you that she'll never be able to break away from that psycho sonofabitch?" Batgirl panted, running the obstacle course with Exterminator.

"It pains me to see someone and up in that sort of situation, but believe me, Lindsay Quinzel was no angel even before Joker." Trent walked over to the Bat-Computer where Night-hacker was doing some day-hacking.

"So I'm told." he brought up the Wikipedia page of Lindsay. "According to Wiki, which as we all know is never wrong, she was very manipulative as a child, using her goodies to-"

"Geoff!" Batgirl warned noticing he was starring at the picture of her lovingly

"Huh, right sorry."

"Thank you-whoa Sara, 4 o'clock high!"

"Huh-whoa, thanks!"

"Anyway, she used her goodies to get what she wanted...even from girls, got her through high school, college-"

"What it doesn't tell you is that she DID get into Gotham State by a gymnastics scholarship, and she was a black belt in Judo." Trent explained

"Nevertheless, her grades sucked cause let's face it, Harley's...well, eh..."

"A pinhead?"

"A dunce?"

"A jamoke?"

"A sack of stupidity?"

"A psycho?"

"All of the above-unless Jason has an insult?" Night hacker asked turning his attention to Jason and Cody, sparring.

"Uh...I dunno, you guys took the good ones..." he struggled getting Cody in a head lock

"Erg-no fair!"

"Erg-uh-ah-er-Got it! Shes a spazy-ranting-lunatic!"

"Ding-ding-ding, we have a winner." Ex chuckled.

"Anyway, she was just asking to being brought down a peg." Trent added

"A lot of pegs from the ways shes described." Alfred added

"Still, one thing puzzles me." Trent pondered

"And what is that Master Trent? Or should we skip to a commercial break?"

"No-no, there's just...erg, it had to have been when Lindsay was treating Joker when she was a Joker at Arkham, any moron, even a special moron like Lindsay could and should be able to see right through him. Now don't get me wrong and I am not ashamed to admit it, Joker's good...but he ain't that good."

"Or is he?" Ex asked

"That, is the million dollar question...He probably figured, shes probably insecure, which he must have been able to read at first glance, the easier to read, the more manipulated they can become. But even Lindsay should be able to resist after all these years of torment and abuse, but what is it? Trent asked getting more frustrated.

_Flashback to Arkham Asylum, 3 years ago_

_Lindsay looks at a single flower in a vase and sniffs it, she sees Joker's card attached_

_Present day_

"Dammit! This gonna kill me." Trent scratched his head.

Back at Ivy's lair of sorts.

"Okay that crap's over, tell me what happened Harl."

"Aren't you pissed even a little? That did nothing to advance the plot?"

"I don't write this, I just collect my check at the end of the week."

"Okay, well, it all went like this...

_Nut Bunnies! It's another Flashback!_

_Harley's POV_

_Late last afternoon, We were all driving down to Dawson Heights to the Third National Bank. It was me, Mistah J, Rocco, Henshaw, Lar, Mo, and Cur. We brought the house. _

"_Oh gosh Puddin! I'm so excited!"_

"_Hey! Eyes on the road you bubbled brained pinhead!"_

"_Ha-ha, sorry sir."_

"_You better be-God sometimes I swear you are dumber than a sack of potatoes-make the joke Cur, and I'm slitting your throat!"_

"_Got it boss."_

"_Okay, so were clear on the plan, Cur and Henshaw are gonna get the loot in the safe below, Harl, if you think you can handle it, you and Lar stick to the tellers, Rocoo Mo and I will handle the crowds-Henshaw! Is that radar, disrupting...security-system-killing-whosemwhatsit good to go?" he asked_

"_Sure boss, should work great."_

"_Fantastic, gimme-gimme-gimme!" Joker took the remote "Ooh, so shiny."_

"_Careful boss, that's a very high tech piece of machiner-"_

"_Blah-blah-blah, high tech piece of machiner-blah! I think I can handle it, I'm not a Harley you know."_

"_Ha-ha, good one Mistah J."_

"_I was being serious you dimwit."_

"_Ha, oh Puddin, where would I be without your-"_

_And another Thing! How many times do I have to say-DON'T CALL ME PUDDIN!"_

"_Y-y-y-y-y-y-yes sir."_

"_Good-oh lookie, were here." they parked out front of the bank. _

"_Masks on." he ordered, everyone put on a gruesome clown costume mask. Joker then asides to the camera. "Don't worry kiddies, the Heath Ledger in me is bound to pop out sooner or later-ha-ha-ha-ha!" he turned back to everyone else. "Okay remember where we parked, or perhaps I should get it validated?"_

_Cricket-cricket-cricket._

"_That was a joke you idiots, laugh!"_

"_Ha-ha-ha."_

"_Ha-ha."_

"_Ho-ho-ha."_

"_Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Much better, alright, let's roll."_

_We dashed out of the van, and climbed the steps to the bank, it was near closing so it didn't look that suspicious._

"_Henshaw, kill the alarms!"_

"_Yes sir!" he pressed a button or two. "Alarms disabled boss."_

"_Excellent, shop till you drop boys, cause the Gotham Third National Bank is having a 100% off sale, all assets must be liquidated...immediately-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" _

_We stormed in, and fired some smoke grenades._

"_What the?"_

"_Holy Sh*t!"_

"_Nuts!"_

"_It's the Joker!"_

"_[bang-bang-bang] Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Not sure who this Joker is of which you speak, but he sounds like a handsome fellow-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah, you two safe!" he pointed to Cur and Henshaw_

"_Yes sir!"_

"_You got it boss!" _

"_Tellers!" he pointed to me and Lar._

"_Y-y-y-yes sir Mistah J-"_

"_YOU NINCOMPOOP!"_

"_Ey-sorry!"_

"_Ah what difference does it make, everyone knows who I am, just-just get the money, or will you screw that up too?"_

"_Alright, you heard him! Get the cash, and bag it, unless you got something to say to my friend Mistah Big Gun! He's a big gun get it? Well you don't have to toots, just fill the bag, and you can live longer, capice?" I asked a teller, leaning up on the counter_

"_Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yes, -o-o-o-o-okay."_

"_Good."_

"_Well, this looked better than I thought? What say you Mo?"_

"_Sure boss, it's very-[rapid fire]-gah-[thud]-gah-unh-er...unh."_

"_Mo-Mo?" Rocco turned the corner near the offices where he heard the gunshots come from. _

"_Shi-[rapd fire]-Boss!" he came running "Boss!"_

"_Can't be time for Guano Man already, Rocco? What's wrong, has the bat entered our belfry?"_

"_Worse, Mo's dead, there's a-[rapid fire]"_

"_Oh crap!" they hit the floor by a few deposit stations. _

_Just like out of the Dark Knight, there was a rogue bank employee, with a weapon, but this was a mini Uzi, not shotgun. _

_[rapid fire]-Your mine clown!"_

"_In your wife's dreams!"_

"_Erg-[rapid fire]" he approached them. Then turned to Lar._

"_Lar look out-[rapid fire]"_

"_Ugh...unh." _

"_That's two!" _

"_Relax boss, I got 'im." Rocco said rather confidently from next to him. _

"_No Rocco don't-[bang...thud]-do that. Aw too bad, he's been around since Season 1, I thought for sure he'd make it!"_

"_You're next Clown!" _

"_Yipe!" I jumeped behind a teller desk when he fired. Mistah J moved about the depositing stations._

"_You're finished Joker! Finished!" _

"_Easy there Eastwood, I'm not late yet." _

"_Or are you?" Batman was on op of one of the windows above us._

"_Oh splendid, I needed this like a hole in the head."_

**To Be Continued...rEvIeW pLeAsE, or I'll sick The Warner bros. And the Warner sister on you...believe me you do NOT want that...stick around! **


	194. Joker Must Die! Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

_-Still in flashback mode.-_

_Not sure exactly what happened between Cur and Henshaw, all I know is, they both went down into that vault, and only Shaw came back with the loot. I pictured something a little like this movie I saw once. _

"_Alright Shaw, do your stuff."_

"_What stuff? It was my job to disable the alarms, which I did thank you very much."_

"_Oh, might that explain this overly obnoxious power drill boss gave me?" Cur asked_

"_Uh, yeah-yeah I think that would work out quite well you nincompoop!"_

"_Hey don't yell at me, I'll take care of it." _

_Cur got against the vault door, and drilled a hole through the middle locking mechanism which should render it useless...er-at least I think it should_

"_You almost there Cur."_

"_Yeah-yeah Shaw, don't rush me, it's not like we got company coming. I mean with the alarms disabled, that kills the threat of the cops, and it's gotta be too early for the bat to be out right...right...please say right?"_

"_I'm not making any promises, just hurry up and drill already!" Henshaw hurried him._

"_Okay-okay, jeesh! Almost got it."_

"_Hurry, not just for the bat, I'm sure the boss doesn't want to be kept waiting too, now make it snappy-_

_. . ._

"_Got dammit! Get out of here you cowled headed freak!" the gun guy blared B-man jumped down onto the bank floor_

"_I CAN'T let you kill any-"_

"_What? Has all that kung fu gone to your cowl head? I'm-a defending my storefront see! These pricks would bleed me dry if I didn;t take action-they disabled the alarms!"_

"_I showed up didn't I?"_

"_What if you hadn't-huh? What then Batman, Mr. Big Shot with a fancy costume, and top notch gadgets? I'm doing what I need to! You think you help people Bats, but you never-EVER make the right ethical decision, hell just standing here arguing with you, just gives the Joker more time to-[pop]-ack-see, unh-[thud]" _

_B-Man turned stunned to Joker holding that fancy German pistol thingy of his with his face at the end of the barrel. _

"_GRRRRRR!"_

"_He's right you know Bats, you do make for quite the good distraction..." B-man walked angrily towards Puddin, you'd **think he'd never witnessed a murder before?** Come on, it's Gotham. But for whatever the reason Mistah J just stood there, like Bats has never gotten angry like that before, he grabbed him by the collar. _

"_Whoa, jeez, awfully testy are we? After all, he did just whack three of my most prominent henchmen-come on, Rocco's been here since Season 1."_

"_You murdering little sh*t! I'll break you I two."_

"_What's the big deal?"-[thwack] "Ow, that hurt!"_

_. . ._

"_Alright, that's nearly all the bags." Henshaw said throwing two duffels loaded with money over his head. _

"_Almost, just let me fill up this last one." _

_Henshaw looked at Cur, filling up the bags, and raised his gun. _

"_What's the matter?"_

"_Sorry Cur, it's just business-"_

"_Hey-wait-[pop-pop-pop]-oh-unh, unh-[thud]" _

"_Ha-ha, one less share." he grabbed the money and headed for the upstairs. _

_. . ._

"_Okay, last time I kill anyone around you, you made your point Bats! Ha-ha-ha-ha-HEY USELESS!"_

"_Yipe!"_

"_A little help here!" _

"_Sorry boss! But you said-"_

"_Screw what I said, some defense would be nice here Harl!"_

"_Yes sir!" I threw him a modified military grenade launcher. _

"_Ah, that's the ticket, wish I had this SOONER!"_

"_Heh-heh, sorry Mistah J-"_

"_Just fill the bags you stuttering ditz!"_

"_Yes sir." suddenly Henshaw came running through the hallway. _

"_Hey Boss!"_

"_PUDDIN!"_

"_Gah-[choof]" he fired on impulse, the shot went right for Shaw_

"_Uh-oh-[pooooooooof]" totally disintegrated...money and all. _

"_Gasp!" B-man gasped_

"_NO-MORON!" He yelled at me._

"_Yipe, Mistah J, I'm-I'm-I'm-"_

"_Thanks to you! Our money was torched!"_

"_But what about Sh-"_

"_Screw Henshaw! He's dead now! Thanks to you!" _

"_ERG!" Batman lunged, Mistha J used his superior finese to throw him into a teller station "Gr-[smash]"_

"_So not in the mood Batman!" he dropped the gun. "Leave the money Harl."_

"_But-b-b-b-but Pu-"_

"_I SAID LEAVE IT!"_

"_Yes sir."_

"_Well Bats, we'll do this again sometime, just to make sure you don't follow me." he took out several patented Joker laughing gas grenades "I believe you have a few laughs to quell-AHA-HA-hA-hA-HA-HA! Not mine of course." he threw them about the bank. And we high tailed it._

"_Ha-ha-ha-haHA-hA-HA!_

"_Nah-hah-hah-hah!"_

"_Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"_

"_Ha-ha-ha-ha!"_

_B-man sighed, and put on his gas mask, and took out that antidote gun of his. _

_We got out of there in a hurry. Just as the Commish' arrived. _

"_Alright, gas masks on, clear the bank, no one get sin or out!"_

"_Yes sir Commissioner!" _

"_Someone please get me a sitrep on those hostages asap!"_

"_You got it Commissioner!"_

"_And please will somebod..y...gasp!" Bman staggered out. "Get me a medic on the double-screw that, triple!"_

"_On it's way sir!"_

"_You okay my friend?"_

"_Unh."_

"_What happened?"_

"_...Joker..."_

_And then we went back home to our lair. It was a modest condemned condominium complex in Cherry Hill. We had the top floor suite. Mistah J was still fuming over the loss we experienced, so I decided to do some chores to cheer him up. I don't know what happened red, I-I-I-I did everything right...did I?_

"_You-NINCOMPOOP!"_

"_Yai-[crash-smash-crakch]!" I ducked out of the way just in the kick of time. "Ha-ha-ha-ha, good joke Mistah J, I'm sure I can steal another set of...fine Jade China imported from Tibet on loan, to the Gotham museum-"_

"_From the Ming Dynasty!" he sneered_

"_Right-right, from the Ping-"_

"_MING!"_

"_Ming Dynasty!" _

"_You know Harl, I'm sorry I lost my temper, but you of all people know I only smash the fine, priceless one-of-a-kind China to pieces when I'm completely, and utterly-PISSED-[craksh]" he smashed a vase I stole for him. "Han Dynasty!" he snapped _

"_O—o-o-o-okay." he sat in his easy chair grumbling. _

"_We could have been made, and be rid of this dump! But nooooooooo! Little Miss overzealous had to ruin my concentration for when I killed Bats, instead it was HENSHAW!"_

"_Rirr-r-r-rright, sorry Puddin, my fault, it was t-t-t-totally my fault. _

"_Now-now, I'm sorry, it was my fault, I'm the moron I know that, so; I pressed your laundry, mae your bed, fed Bud and Lou, and made you a sandwich!"_

"_And when your done you can vacuum, this place is a pig-sty!" he sneered, I gave him the sandwich._

"_Yes sir, enjoy it, I made it with extra love."_

"_Grrrrrrrr." he sat down. _

"_Nowyou just sit down, watch some Tiny Toons, and I'll get to work."_

"_grrgrgrgrgrg." he grumbled, turning on the TV._

… "_Were Tiny!"_

"_Were Toony!"_

"_Were all a little looney! And this afternoony were invading your TV!"_

"_Ah, this is the life." he took a bite of his sandwich "Ptooey!" and spit it out "Aw! Liverwurst!" _

"_But Puddin, you said you liked liverwurst."_

"_What am I 75? And besides, that was yesterday, I'm in a BBQ chicken mood."_

"_Sorry Mistah J, I'll get right to it, just as soon as I'm done-"_

"_Maybe if you weren't so much of a screw up! These things wouldn't happen!"_

"_Just relax Puddin, one day, the days of this romantic Bonnie and Clyde lifestyle will end, and then we can stop fighting, settle down, and start a family."_

_For whatever the reason that did it._

"_No." he stood up. "Sherri, no, I'll get a job!"_

"_Mistah J?"_

"_Duncan you're a loser she said." he approached me_

"_P-p-p-p-p-uddin?"_

"_Get a real job she said...stop drinking she said! Care about the KID! She said!" he took out his knife._

"_PUDDIN-yipe!" he held me by the throat. _

_-WARNING HEATH LEDGER ALERT-_

"_Never...again, Harl..you wanna know how I got these scars? Come here. Hey! Look at me. So I had a wife. She was beautiful, like you. Who tells me I worry too much. Who tells me I ought to smile more. Who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks. One day, they carve her face. And we have no money for surgeries. She can't take it. I just want to see her smile again. I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars. So... I stick a razor in my mouth and do this...to myself. And you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funny side. Now I'm always smiling! _

_-SAFE TO READ NOW-_

"_I NEVER-EVER want to hear the words wife...or family EVER again, especially with you, you worthless, bubbleheaded, retarded screw-up!" he brought me to one of the larger windows. Which was opened._

"_Puddin please no!" I sobbed _

"_I regret it everyday-every single day, that I f*cked you up...maybe if I hadn't you'd still be some wage slave doctor instead of ruining my life, with your happiness, and your companionship, and most of all...your love. Know this and know this now Lindsay Quinzel, if i-EVER see your face again...it will look like mine...which would only improve it anyway-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" he let go_

"_NOOOOOOOOO-[splash]"_

_Fortunately the pool broke my fall...lucky this was a cartoon. I rose up, and then two thing's clonked me on the head_

"_And here's all your damn suitcases!" he then closed the window._

_-FINALLY, flashback over-_

Ivy looked dumbfounded.

"Scowered the whole city looking for you that night, ran into Bane, told me where you were."

"Harley." she gave her a hug.

"Oh, Red."

"That inconsiderate JERK is gonna get what's coming to him!" she stood up.

"Oh please it'll pass, it has before, and the last time, I fell into a pool instead of garbage, that's a major improvement in my book...maybe next time it will be a pile of comfortable pillows." she cooed "You know Iz, I feel much better, I think I'm gonna go to Mistah J and ap-"

"NO!"

"Huh?"

"Drink this!" Ivy held up a vile with an indigo colored solution inside

"But-"

"Just do it!"

"But Red-[glug-glug-gulp-butp]" Ivy piratically shoved it down her throat.

Lindsay started to feel weird. She became more angered, her eyes red and bloodshot. Words Joker once said rambled on in her brain.

"_Idiot! Dumbass! You dunce! Ditz! You stuttering nincompoop! Why you little! You don't have the guts! Not in a million years would you ever! Where are you! Why can't you do anything right you worthless! Useless! You-you! I'm sorry I ever f*cked you up! And don't call me Puddin. You're always taking shots from folks who just don't get the joke-get the joke-get the joke-get the JOKE! _

"Harley...Harley...[snap-snap]-yoo-hoo Har-Harl-"

"GRRRR! Joker, he ruined me! Screwed up my life, stole all my fun! Turned me into a criminal! Well, it's time he got the joke that's coming to him!" she said menacingly

"You mean-"

"Yes Red...Joker...Must...DIE! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Trent Wayne woke up in his bed, in a pool of sweat.

"Gah-wheeze-wheeze-wheeze." he headed downstairs.

"Good morning Master...Trent...you okay?"

"I'm not sure Alfred...I...I felt...a disturbance."

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Whose ready for the middle section, huh? I know I am, reviews are nice, and stay tuned sports fans, more coming atcha! **

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Night-hacker

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Pennyworth/The Exterminator

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Lindsay Quinzel/Harley Quinn

**Drew Nelson: **Duncan Napier/Joker

**Katie Crown: **Izzy Isley/Poison Ivy

**Jim Meskimen: **Bank Manager

**David Kaufman: **Jason Drake

**Mark Hamill: **Rocco

**John DiMaggio: **Henshaw

**Billy West: **Lar, Mo, Cur

**Frank Welker: **Additional Voices

**Cree Summer: **Additional Voices

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Additional Voices


	195. Joker Must Die! Part III

**Villain: Harley Quinn, Joker, Poison Ivy**

**Episode Archive: Oh Lady! Oh Lady! Oh Lady! NICE LADY!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Eric Radomski**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami&Bruce Timm**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 95: Joker Must Die! (Part II)**

Days later Ivy returned from groceries...knocking over the grocery store that is. She was shocked when she returned

"Harl I'm ho-huh?"

"Pushed too far...pushed too far...erg-pushed...too...far!"

Lindsay was doing some chin ups on the water pipe suspended on the ceiling, while listening to some Disturbed...loudly. Here's the thing, Lindsay hates heavy metal.

"Linds...what's uh...what's doing?" Ivy asked looking around, she noticed the walls were plastered with blueprints and x'ed out pictures of the Joker, many partially burned, shredded, or torn. The beastly boobed girl took a break.

"Bout time, where'd you go China? I should know...I went all the way to China to get that piece of sh*t that stupid vase that he couldn't live without!"

"Harley it's-"

"Dodging the guards, pissing off the police-you do NOT wanna know where I had to hide that thing to get it on the plane."

"Look sweetie pie, d-d—don't you think that-"

"Think what?" she sneered glaring at Ivy.

"Uh...er-nothing."

"That's what I thought. Now why don't you make yourself useful and use those groceries to make me a sammich bitch!" she ordered giving Ivy a slap to the ass

"Ah-Hey! You know Harl you're really starting to be a real-gasp." Ivy noticed one of her potted ferns on it's side, torn to ribbons. "My fern!" she rushed to it's never existed aid "What did you do!" she fumed

"I was sparring with it earlier, it was in my way so I smacked it around a few times, just like I'm gonna do to Joke-face!"

"Listen you-nobody-AND I MEAN NOBODY screws with my plants, got it!"

"Oh really, what are you gonna do about it huh?" she got right in Ivy's face. Who went pale as Danny Phantom.

"Uh-ha-ha-ha, nothing sweetness, ha-ha-ha, it was my bad totally." Ivy laughed sheepishly

"Good, now clean that mess up it's in my way!"

"Yes ma'am sorry ma'am."

"And I'm still waiting in that Sammich!"

"I'll get right on it!" Ivy threw some bread, cold cuts, and various mustard's on the counter. "Any kind in particular?"

"Whatever it is it had better be loaded with meat!" she yelled punching her boxing bag "Lots and lots of meat." and that's what she said "WHAT WAZ THAT?" ...nothing. "That sonofabitch! Oh he'll get what's coming to him alright!" she threw some combos "Even if I have to take the whole city out with him, Joker's going down! Down you hear me down!" Ivy nervously approached her with a sammich.

"Here you go baby, salami, roast beef, turkey, ham, prosciutto, bacon, BBQ chicken, and spicy mustard!"

"Good!" she took a mega bite "Wait, is there liverwurst on this?"

"Uh...no, I-I-I don't think so."

"Good! Let it be known that liverwurst is my least favorite lunch meat!" she screamed taking another bite.

"Harley-Harley, you're working too hard girl, you need a break, why don'y you enjoy your samdwich while we watch some TV." she turned on the giant flatscreen...that she stole. "Look, it's a Tiny Toons marathon!"

"_Were Tiny!"_

"_Were Toony!"_

"_Were all a little looney! And in this cartoony were invading your TV!"_

"NOOO!" Lindsay quickly changed the channel

"Huh?" Ivy asked in disbelief.

"Also let it be known that Tiny Toons is my least favorite cartoon! YOU HEAR THAT TOM RUEGGER AND STEVEN SPIELBERG! DO YA!" she fumed, trying to catch her breath

"But baby, you used to love making out with me on the couch and us laughing to the comical genius of those Tiny looney toons-"

"Not anymore!" she changed the channel "We are watching Freakazoid! Or were watching NOTHING!"

"O-o-o-o-ookay-okay Harl, it's cool, it's cool." Ivy noticed her Harlequin outfit was in the nearest trash receptacle. "Harley! Your costume."

"Trash Red! Trash, it was the one thing that metaphorically kept me bound to that-that-JERK! Besides, I made a new one!" she pointed to a costume hanging up on a piece of wall board.

The costume resembled the old one in the colors and initial design, other than that it was different. It was all metal, and in plates, rather than a full costume, meaning her stomach, ankles, biceps would be exposed. There was no more jester crown.

"All the stuff I stole these passed few days, went into that. It's a fine piece of machinery...And I'm not sure if I should go regular hair, or pony tail."

"What about pig tails?" Ivy suggested "You'd look cute in pig tails."

"Nah Harleen patented the look already, has since 1992 for some reason...I think I'll just go hair down."

"That's cool...so uh, Harley, I know you've been working very hard lately, don't you think we should take a break and...you know." she ran her fingers down Lindsay's chest.

"ERG!" she stood up angrily "Why is it always with the sex with you! Your more perverted than a 16 year old boy who just discovered pornography! You know what Red...you wanna have sex so badly? Fine, we'll have sex, get undressed! And get your green ass to the bedroom-NOW!"

"But-but-but-but-but-"

"I said-NOOOOW!"

"Yes ma'am." Ivy dashed into their bedroom, followed closely by an angry Lindsay. Before slamming the door she looked right at the camera.

"What? There's nothing to see here, go get a life-[SLAM]"

Over in the Bat-Cave Batman and Batgirl were looking over some shocking security camera feeds from days ago.

"Whoa."

"I know, I could hardly believe it myself." Batgirl added sitting at the chair

"But it just doesn't make any sense, Harley's pretty good, I'll give her that...but shes not this efficient."

"Nobody is, and without the Joker, you would think it would cut her already lacking efficiency rating in half."

"The underwood is hopping mad about their fight." Batman explained

"It'll pass, they always do, right?"

"Usually, but...for whatever the reason Bridge, I have my doubts on this one. And I just can't quite put my finger on it...I just know that something isn't right."

Suddenly, a call came in at the bat phone.

"I got it...Hi, Trent Wayne here."

"_Stow the jokes Batman, it's me Nightwing."_

"Nightwing?" Batgirl shrugged

"What's up?" Batman asked

"_You might wanna meet me at Dr. Langstrom's, he, his wife, and Dr. Tompkins may have deduced a theory as to why Harley's acting so...how should I put this?"_

"Efficient?"

"Well read?"

"Nefarious?"

"Scrutionous?"

"_How bout all of the above."_

"Where are you?" Batman asked

"_Langstrom's house in Glen Cove just in case she showed up, were all waiting for you."_

"I'll be right over. But it'll take an hour or so." he put on his utility Bat, Nightwing hung up.

"What are you doing tonight Bridgette?" Batman asked as if she didn't already know.

"The same thing we do every night Pinky." Batman smiled.

Later on patrol, Robin, Batgirl, Ex, and V-Bat were each talking to each other on opposite ends of the city, all in search for Harley

_V-Bat: This is unreal._

_Robin: Your telling me._

_Batgirl: Well, it's legit._

_Ex: Can't be._

_Batgirl: believe it sister._

_V-Bat: I still don't get it, how can Harley-Harley Quinn, possibly be so efficient, shes robbing this city blind?_

_Robin: and what is she doing with all the stuff shes stealing?_

_Ex: that's the question babe_

_V-Bat: what'd she take?_

_Batgirl: so far shes only robbed metal-works factories, and several weapons manufacturers...oh, and a Sherman . all that were stolen were Titanium steel plates, a monasory of weapon parts, and several cans of maroon and black high-semi gloss paint. _

_Robin: yeah, that's not like Harley._

_Ex: not like Harley at all._

_V-Bat: whatever this fight is about that she had with the Joker couldn't have been an ordinary fight._

_Batgirl: exactly, that's why I'm gonna go pay Mr. Happy a visit, don't wait up._

A satisfied Lindsay walked out of the bedroom, leaving a terrified Ivy in the fetal position, rocking on the bed.

"Gotta say Red, you were right, I needed that, well while I let you get back to reality, I'm gonna kill the Joker, don't wait up...and there better be some victory cake when I return, or I will be pissed, got it?" Ivy nodded lightly "Good girl." she closed the door, leaving Ivy in the dark.

Lindsay hummed her theme music, as she suited up in her new Harley outfit, she then applied her 50 lbs of makeup, and put on her Zorro mask.

"Hope your ready for the last laugh of your life clown. I'm gonna make him wish I shot him way back in episode 16! Or was it 18? Who gives a sh*t, point is, he's dead!" she chuckled.

She climbed into rosebud, and put the top up. She turned on her intense Scream-o mix, and headed for Cherry Hill.

"I'm coming for ya Jokey-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Meanwhile Batgirl was atop a building when she noticed the familiar looking car.

"That's gotta be her." she turned on the radio _"Spotted Harley! Looks like shes headed for Cherry Hill."_

_V-Bat: then that can only mean one thing._

_Robin: uh-oh_

"_Yeah, they fight, they make amends, and take half the city with em in the process, I'm gonna make sure it doesn't happen, look for me!" _

"She swung down, and gracefully landed on the top

[Thud]

"Huh?" Harley looked up.

"Ha, ditz, she'll probably just think an overgrown chubby pigeon crapped on the top...like always."

"Guess again Bat-Brat!" [pwak-pwak-pwak-pwak-pwak-pwak]

"Gah!" Lindsay pointed her stolen M1A1 Grease gun at the top, and turned it into Swiss cheese, forcing Batgirl to dance.

"Ha-ha, fish in a barrel!"

"Whoa-eee-ah-ya-ee!" Batgirl jumped

"Your a good dancer Bratgirl!"

"Thanks! Whew, and I thought Ex could shoot!"

"If you think that's good, wait'll you see my finale! Now, how are you at extreme stunts?"

"I dabble." she said nervously

"Excellent, you better hold on-[Screeeeeeeeee]"

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

Harley threw on the breaks, causing Batgirl to lunge forward...and hit a newspaper kiosk. Harley parked next to her. And approached the kiosk.

"I'll take this month's Vogue, and a Snickers, and they better be free!" she pointed her gun. The nervous shop keep gave her the items she asked for.

"Thanks. Oh don't mind this trash I got it really-no-no-no, don't get up, it's quite alright." she buckled a disoriented Batgirl into the passengers seat, and then drove off again

"Ugh...unh...erg."

"Relax Brat, you my friend get a front row seat, for the death of the Joker-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	196. Joker Must Die! Part IV

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Harley parked outside of the condemned building and looked a the top floor with a scowl. The sky became dark and cloudy, which means rain...which means-SHITS HITTING THE FAN!

"Perfect killing conditions." Harley smiled.

"Unh." Batgirl groaned half asleep

"Yo sparky up and Adam! Let's go, shake a leg."

"Unh." she tore Batgirl from the car.

"Shh-shh, that's right B-girl drift off peacefully into the coma from the minor concussion you clearly have." she said sweetly sarcastic. "The fun starts when I tear Joker's colon from inside him, and replace it with a whoopie cushion right before I destroy that apartment...even if the whole city must burn with it...and hey, you get to join him, aren't you lucky?"

"Hate...you?" Batgirl sighed.

"Love you too. Hmm, a shame you gotta bite the dust with Jerker, you look pretty tight, no wonder Red used to have the hots for you..."

"You...bitch." she groaned

"Ah relax, old Harold still has the hots for you. Any better?"

"You know...in all honesty...I'd rather be Ivy's sex slave then have one date with that idiot...maybe that's the concussion talking."

"No-no, I feel the same way." she brought Batgirl into the elevator, and clicked penthouse. They rose to the top.

"Surprising, they condemned this place...but it all works, even the elevator music...Freakazoid's theme song. I tell you what, they're gonna bring that show back!"

"Fantastic." Batgirl groaned

"Come on, I'm trying to make small talk here-ah, you don't care, you know Bats you can be a real buzz kill you know that?"

"At least...I...Don't get banged by a...a...a...half plant girl...and a sad...abusive...clown." she smirked, there was some blood leaking from her lips, Harley wasn't happy one bit.

"Grrr-[slap]" she smacked Batgirl to the floor "Bitch!"

"Ha-ha...totally...worth...it." she became weaker.

Meanwhile The Batmobile parked out front the nice home of Dr. Kirk Langstrom. The wind was picking up, and the clouds were barreling down there too.

[knock-knock-knock]

"I got it." the door opened, and who should pop out, but Francine Langstrom, Kirk's perky blonde wife. "Gasp!"

"Francine."

"Batman, long time no seen, you know you really know how to make an entrance. Come on in, we've been expecting you." she led him in. "Everyone's in the living room." Batman walked in to Kirk's nice living room of sorts, Nightwing sat in his chair, near Dr. Tompkins, and Dr. Langstrom sat by a large chalk board.

"There he is." Nightwing stood up.

"Hey Batman welcome."

"Took you long enough." Leslie winked.

"Yeah, traffic." he took a seat on the couch by Nightwing, Francine joined them. Batman turned to Nightwing. "So?"

"So, what?"

"How'd you organize this?"

"Uh...Nightwing was doing his monthly physical therapy with me, the topic came up, and I had mentioned a project I was working on with Francine." Leslie explained.

"Alright, so, what are your thoughts?" Batman asked

"Glad you asked." Kirk pointed to the board. "We all know Harley and Joker had a fight recently, right?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, she left. But, word has it, this wasn't just any old ordinary fight."

"How bad?"

"Remember the day you and Harley first met?" Nightwing asked

"Yeah."

"Member when Joker threw her out that window?"

"Yeah."

"Let's just say a pool broke her fall this time." Francine finished

"Erg." Batman cringed.

"I theorize this time she just went off the deep end, now I'm no psychiatrist, but the explanation seems logical." Kirk explained.

"True." Batman pondered "But there's no way she just turned pure evil and efficiently affective as a criminal because of a fight with Joker. I think...there's more."

Meanwhile Robin, Ex, and V-Bat landed almost simultaneously next to Rosebud.

"Hmm, there's the car." Ex stated

"So Batgirl's gotta be close." V-Bat added

"And I estimate shes, I dunno just a guess, up there." Robin pointed to the penthouse "Just a hunch."

Upstairs, Joker was watching the Tiny Toons marathon...Cause Tom Ruegger's a well oiled Co-producer on our show that's why!

"Sigh, Harley! I wanna San-oh that's right, I beat her up and mercilously threw her out a window...again...ha-ha-ha, still worth it." he chuckled. "Still worth it."

[pound-pound-pound!] came the pounding at the door.

"Who is it?" Joker asked sweetly taking out his Joker gun.

KER-SLAM the door flew off it's hinges, and an angered Harley dragged a fading Batgirl inside, then dropping her by the door.

"Knock-knock—PUDDIN!"

"Harley girl! Ha-ha-ha." he chuckled revealed "Look Tootsie roll even though I said all those nasty things, and all kinds of sh*t went down, I totally forgive you." Harley approached him

"Oh...you...forgive...ME!"

"Yeah, ha-ha, listen Boopsie, even though you screw things up, and let everything slip away, I still gotta soft spot for you-so I'm gonna give you a second chance! And you can redeem yourself by making me a sandwich, what do you say, I'll take one BB-[slice]-Q?" she used the Wolverine claws from her gloves to swat the gun from his hands

"Uh...okay-okay I see your point, liverwurst-yum, just as good."

"I'm not making you that sandwich clown!" she sneered

"Alright, then do my laundry then." Joker shrugged

"Oh no-no-no-no-no. Not this time."

"Then what are you going to do?" Joker gulped

"I'm...gonna...kill...you." ...commercial...

Back at Langstrom's house, Batman deduced his own theory

"Alright, there's definitely something chemical going on inside of Harley, it's just not natural for her to act like that."

"He's right, when you usually describe Harley it's normally jittery, upbeat, and happy, not boody, miserable and distraught." Leslie added

"Funny, kinda describes you Batman." Nightwing chuckled

"Grr." he glared his way "Anyhow, there is definitely something chemically wrong going inside that girl's body, any thoughts? Kirk?"

"Hmm, wait a minute." Kirk snapped "I'll be right back." he exited the room.

"You may have a point Batman, but it would take some heavy stuff to do it." Francine pondered "Question is what, where did she get it, and who gave it to her?"

"I may have an answer." Kirk walked back in with a vile of pinkish liquid

"What's that?" Leslie asked

"The last known concentration of the Man-Bat Venom...in the world, it not only transformed me into the Man-Bat, but it made me some kind of evil. I mean really evil." Kirk explained

"So your saying Harley could have a similar potion inside of her?" Nightwing asked

"Quite possibly." Kirk aid putting the vile away

"Kirk told me he used a lot of herbal supplements to make it." Francine added

"That, and whatever I could find laying around the chemical research lab at the zoo."

"Wait a minute. Herbs."

"Now, whose the one person who would care for Harley that much, to gain her self esteem back and her confidence by turning her evil, through an herbal mix?" Batman asked

"Poison Ivy!"

The original dynamic duo sped off in the Batmobile back towards Gotham as the rain fell.

"Let's hope were not too late."

"For what?" Batman asked

"I dunno, our own funeral?"

Back at the penthouse, the sounds of explosions could be heard for miles on end.

"Ka-boom! Cracksh!" Shoom!"

"Gah-pant-pant-pant!" A beaten Joker ducked behind the breakfast nook, as Harley fired some more grenades from her wrist fired grenade launcher.

"Come out come out wherever you are Joker! I got a surprise for you!"

"I really don't wanna see it." he whispered nervously.

"Gotcha!"

"AH!" Harley grabbed Joker, trying to struggle, she then threw him across the counter, knocking over all the appliances, and at the end, into a priceless, stolen Monet.

"My priceless art! I was maybe gonna stare quizzically at it one day." he sobbed.

"You mean the art-I stole for you!" she screamed walking across the fire and smoke filled penthouse, she walked over to Batgirl, and crushed her legs as she tried to get away

"Gah!"

"S-'cuse me Bats I'll be just a moment more." Harley turned to see Joker right in front of her. "Gasp!"

"You know Harley girl, I gotta admit, I'm rather impressed, you finally stood up for yourself, there might be hope for you after all." Harley did a half smile "Though I can't let you walk free after what you just did young lady." he raised his knife, as several familiar figures crashed in, at three separate angles

"No!"

"Joker stop!"

"Oh what! She was trying to kill me!"

"Yeah I'm sure." Ex sneered

"Your finished clown!" V-Bat yelled

Harley knew she was beat, for now, so she jumped off of Joker, and activated her Bad ass rocket boots, and flew for the exit, as the penthouse continued to burn

"They're right, happy trails Bats and company! I'll be seeing you all real soon, especially you Mistah J! Hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

"We'll get her later, we gotta get Batgirl" Ex ran to help her

"Harley...right."

"Huh?"

"Wants to...Kill Joker..."

"Told ya." Joker smirked

"Gotta go...place...gonna blow."

"Oh God, let's get out of here!" they sprinted for the nice hole in the wall.

. . .

"And now for a little explosion, ha-ha-ha-ha." Harley pressed a button on her utility belt, which took out the penthouse, just as the team and Joker managed to jump. They splashed down into the pool.

"Joker...what did you do to her!" V-Bat snarled

"Got me! Ask the plant!"

Speaking of whom, Batman and Nightwing entered the lair of Ivy.

"Remind me."

"To what?" Batman asked

"To write our Congressman, barring the condemning of all botanical gardens in the Long Island area so Ivy can't use them as lairs!"

"...Good call." suddenly the dense overhead vegetation grabbed the duo, hurdling them up towards the ceiling, and constricting them.

"GAH!"

"Dammit!"

"Erg, they got us now!"

"Try to fight it!" Batman choked

"Hello, handicapped? Remember!"

"Erg-Ivy!" Batman yelled!

"Ivy! She must not be home! Batman, got anything?"

"Maybe, your hands...are free, can you...gah can you reach my knife in my belt."

"Can do." Nightwing hastily reached around

"Uh, that's not the knife-"

"Oh, sorry...got it!"

"Cut yourself free!"

"Got it...and, presto!" he cut himself loose of the vines, and fell right into his chair. "Here you go!" he threw Batman the knife.

"Thanks!" Batman too cut himself loose of the vines "UGH! Now that that's over, let's search."

"Right behind ya." they looked about the lair, noticing all the anti-Joker posters.

"Jeez, Ivy's got it bad."

"I don't think this is Ivy's doing Nightwing...can't believe I'm saying this...it looks like Harley?"

"That is weird. I'll check the bedroom..." Nightwing entered "OH MY GOD!"

"What! What is it?" Batman rushed in

"It's Ivy."

"Ivy?" she was still rocking in the fetal position "You okay?"

"Did things...to me...things no girl...should ever have to do." she stammered

"What happened?"

"Gave her...this stuff...I stole...over there...turned her evil...too evil...wants to...to..to kill Joker...even...if...the whole city...goes with her. No ones safe...not even me." Nightwing grabbed the empty test tube.

"Antidote?" Batman asked

"Not that...I know of."

"Uh Bats, you might wanna take a look at this." Nightwing shoed him on the test tube were the raised intitals HS.

"HS?"

"Hugo Strange. Now it makes sense, I bet the same sh*t that made Jason evil, did the same for Harley too!"

"I know Strange left the country when I last checked."

"Well then, were going hunting." Batman smirked he cuffed Ivy, still rocking "Wait for the police." the two called it in, and walked towards the Batmobile

"Think he has an antidote?"

"Probably, only one way to find out."

"Where do you suppose we find him?"

"An old friend of ours, the one man who knows everything about every piece of scum in the world."

"Who?"

"Ra's Al Ghul."

**To Be Continued...Please Review!**

**Hey gang, quick tidbit here, I have begun the process of the Third Season of Freakazoid! For those who care, it's all uploaded, and I insist you give it a try! PLEASE! So, the big finale is up next! Hope you enjoy it!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Nightwing

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Pennyworth/The Exterminator

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill/V-Bat

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Lindsay Quinzel/Harley Quinn

**Katie Crown: **Izzy Isley/Poison Ivy

**Drew Nelson: **Duncan Napier/Joker

**Marc Singer: **Dr. Kirk Langstrom

**Tress MacNeille: **Dr. Francine Langstrom

**Kath Soucie: **Dr. Leslie Tompkins


	197. Joker Must Die! Part V

**Villain(s): Harley Quinn, Joker, Poison Ivy, Hugo Strange Featuring: Ra's Al Ghul, Nurse Pain**

**Episode Archive: AW NUT BUNNIES!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Bruce Timm**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami&Bruce Timm&Ronnie Del Carmen**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 96: Joker Must Die! (Part III)**

The original of the dynamic duo flew across the Atlantic in search of their answer. Batman knew Ra's was usually held up at his mountain castle on the side of a mountain in the mountains of Central Russia.

"Were coming in on Ra's castle." Nightwing informed

"Right." they flew towards the place.

"You know he'll have defenses."

"I know."

"And...you're not the least bit worried?"

"It's Ra's, I'd be more worried if it were Strange, or lock-up, or even Bane. You know how he likes to run his mouth, flaunt his centuries of success, and give me hints on his new evil scheme. Hell let's be honest, without us his life sucks."

"True."

At his study, Ra's was...doing some Ra's stuff, when the always overzealous Ubu entered with haste.

"Master! Master!"

"Yes Ubu." he said calmly

"An enemy aircraft is approaching." he started to rub his hands together evilly. "Do we destroy them?"

"Hmm." Ra's pondered "Hold on." Ra's moved to his computer monitors "Hmm, the Detective, now this is a surprise." he smiled, and connected to their radio.

. . .

"I don't like this." Nightwing said nervously

"Easy Geoff, I have a feeling Ra's will get in contact with us shortly."

"_Good Evening Detective."_

"See what I mean...Ra's, how goes it."

"_It goes. What brings you to my castle."_

"I'm cashing in that favor you owe me."

"_Favor?"_

"Remember when Poison Ivy tried to-"

"_Right-right right, don't remind me, I'll do it, if you would be so kind as to land on helipad C, I'll be right with you." end transmission._

"See, that wasn't so hard was it?"

"Tell that to my bladder."

"Gross."

They landed on the helipad and were greeted by several shadows.

"Mr. Ghul will be with you shortly Batman." One shadow said

"Perfect." they exited the plane, and waited for the Demon and Ubu.

"Detective! Welcome to my mountain retreat! I was busy studying astronomy and watching some Freakazoid! I like the Lobe, well acted character."

"He watches cartoons?" Nightwing whispered

"Shut up." Batman whispered back

"Now then, what say we retire to more comfortable surrounding? Come, I've prepared some tea." they headed inside "Ubu, fetch the tea from the kitchen will you?"

"Yes master."

"And Ubu, if the word Infidel leaves your lips but once, I shall slug you one myself."

"Sigh...yes master." he sighed.

They walked down one of the many corridors with windows overlooking the mountainside.

"As you can see I spared no expense to make sure this fortress was on the cutting edge of luxury, and security. But what you don't realize is the original castle was built in 1694."

"Running his mouth? Check." Nightwing whispered he then admired a ships Binnacle on display that looked old, his chair nudged it.

"PLEASE! Don't touch Geoffrey, that binnacle once belonged to the great explorer Ferdinand Magellan, it was given to me by his second in command after we had circumnavigated the globe together. I believe in was in my early 30's. But who can keep track?"

"Flaunting over his success from passed centuries, check." Nightwing whispered

"Now I'm sure your wondering of what scheme I have planned as of late? Well I cannot release that information at this time-but I warn you both, it will be huge." They entered his library

"Hints on his latest evil scheme, check." Nightwing whispered.

As they entered the library, from behind a secret door in a book shelf (Cause of course he has one) a man in a tight nylon ninja-like combat outfit exited. He had what appeared to be a Scimitar in a shoulder sheath, he had a shaved head.

"Master Ghul-ooh, sorry, I wasn't aware we were having company." he said in a gruff eastern American accent.

"Well this is at a most unpleasant of timing, Mr. Nault. Detective, Nightwing, this is Ash Nault, as of recent he is the world's most deadly assassin, I say this because I am aware our dearest enemy Tucker Vanzetti has passed." "Mr. Nault, this is Batman and Nightwing.

"Pleasure." Ra's approached him and whispered something in his ear. "Yeah sure." he approached the door.

"Just make sure Mr. Moriarty and his son get that package, and be wary of the SAS and MI6, they're like vultures with foreign mail lately." Ra's warned

"I'll be careful."

"I should hope so." he left. "Now gentlemen, shall we sit." Batman and Ra's sat at opposite couches separated by a coffee table, Nightwing rolled near Batman.

"What was that about?" Batman asked

"All will be answered in due time Detective. Patience."

"Grr." Nightwing growled, Batman stopped him

"Easy."

Another large man entered, African American, strong, sporting a handlebar mustache.

"Mr. Ghul?" he asked in a Denzel kind of voice.

"Ah Boxer, a charming surprise, I would like you to meet...these acquaintances of mine. This is Batman and Nightwing."

"Pleased to meet you."

"Gentlemen, this is Andre Boylan, specifically he is my personal bodyguard, unlike Ubu, who does a smidgen of everything."

"Yes, they call me boxer cause I'm a good fighter, anyway, Ubu and Mansfield are bringing the tea up."

"Perfect." they heard a ding, and another book shelf door opened "That must be them now." Ubu, and a short looking guy with garb resembling Alfred entered with a platter of tea.

"Tea sir." he said in a slightly high pitched proper English accent.

"Gentlemen this is Charles Mansfield III, my personal butler, you know Ubu."

"Hmm." Ubu nodded.

"With there be anything else Mr. Ghul?"

"No Mansfield, that will be all."

"Very good sir." he left. Ubu stayed to pour some tea.

"So, about this favor Detective?"

"Hugo Strange, where is he?"

"Hmm-hmm, business as always Detective." Ra's reached into his coat and pulled out a piece of paper and placed it on the coffee table. "Bavarian Alps, near Dachau."

"Germany huh?" Nightwing asked sipping his tea. "So you really do know everything about all the scum in the world?"

"Hmm-hmm, most, please." Ra's chuckled "Not that I care really, Strange is a completely jaded and annoying sociopath-but, what do you want with him?"

"Poison Ivy-"

"Erg! I hate that wench!"

"Ubu! Calm."

"Sigh, sorry Master."

"It's alright, continue Detective."

"Anyway, Ivy stole a vile from Strange, at least we believe, and she used it on Harley Quinn to make her evil and to kill joker...as it pains me to say it, I can't let that happen."

"So we need to find Strange to find an antidote." Nightwing finished

"I don't care for any one of them, they're all crazy in their own way, but; then again, so are we."

"You could say that." Batman smirked "Well thanks for the tea and the info Ra's." Batman said he picked up the paper. "Let's go Nightwing."

"Right behind ya."

"I did owe you one didn't I? Oh and Detective."

"Yes Ra's?"

"When you least expect it, the world will be on my hands, I hope your ready for that."

"You know we'll stop you."

"Hmm-hmm-hmm, only time will tell. Farewell." they left. Ra's turned to Ubu "Strange maybe a sociopath Ubu, but he will prove to be a good earner, I'm sure of it."

And over to Got-ham? I dunno, but I got milk. Anyway, were at police HQ. Joker is bitching about his current living conditions in the holding cell, Ivy is nearby.

"NO! No you can't leave me in here! Please I beg of you! She'll find me! She'll find me! Nowhere is safe! Not here! Not Arkham! Not anywhere! I'll have to move to...Canada, change my name and get a job as a lumberjack!"

"Hey Joker...SHUT-UP!" a policeman said from outside the cell block

"Please I implore youuuuuu! Harley's gonna kill me!"

"I outta let her!"

"She'll kill you too you big idiot! If you stand in her way!"

"Relax Joker, she should just kill you." Ivy blurted, getting out of her previous trance like state.

"You! This is all your fault I just know it!" he pointed

"Well...yeah it kinda is-I-I stole this sh*t from Hugo Strange, she drank it...things went ka-bluey very fast.

"I KNEW IT! When I get out! You're history! History you hear me Isabelle Pamela-Lillian Isley! HISTORY!"

"Guard!"

"HEY! SHUT-UP!"

Upstairs in the Commissioners office, he stood at the window pondering as the rain continued to fall. With him, was Gil, V-Bat, Ex, and Robin. Batgirl was resting up in the infirmary.

"Oh this is not good...this is not good at all."

"I agree commissioner." V-Bat stated

"I know, with this rain, their sure to cancel the Knight's vs Yankees game. I got box seats for tonight!" he means the Gotham Knight's.

"No you pinhead! He meant the situation with Harley!" Ex added

"Oh right. Well it seems to me we gotta get Joker out of here as descrete as humanly possible without attracting Harley's attention. Gil, what are your thoughts?" he asked turning around.

"Plane?"

"Not-bad-not bad, anyone else?"

"Whatever we gotta do we gotta make it quick and discrete, a plane makes too much noise." V-Bat explained.

"Ugh, I'll get the brainstorm board." Gil sighed.

In the lobby the doors exploded open

KA-BOOOOOOM!

"Ahhhhhhh!"

"Oh my God!"

"It's her! It's Harley Quinn!"

"Ah, look at the people running away in terror...cause of little old me-IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME I GOT SOME RESPECT AROUND HERE!" She proceeded into the station "Now...where...is...the...JOKER!"

In the cell block, Joker became nervous of all the screaming. Ivy smiled wickedly

"Shes heeeeeeeeeere."

"No! No! NOOOOOOOOO!"

And to cap off another fine chapter, we are over the airspace of Dachau Germany. Batman and Nightwing flew over Strange's house. The left the Bat-Wing idling in mid-air, and they landed on the roof.

"Doesn't look like anyone's home." Nightwing stated

"Well then, let's get to work."

They quietly sneaked in through the windows, taking them into the guest bedroom. Nightwing's chair can float, so it made traversing into the house easy

"Show-off." Batman crossed his arms "Alright, you take upstairs, I got down."

"Got it."

"How's your German?"

"Piss-poor, yours?"

"Decent." they split up.

Batman searched the living room downstairs, looking over the various self portraits of the madman, some with famous dignitaries. The place looked as though it had not been lived in for quite awhile.

"This guy's a nut." Batman looked about the statuettes of the various animals and people he's spliced and lobotomized. Suddenly the phone rang

"Don't answer it!" he yelled to Nightwing

"Wasn't planning on it!" Nightwing yelled, he clicked a bobblehead, which opened a secret door in the wall. "Whoa, secret door, neat-o-torpedo." he rolled in, and couldn't believe his eyes "Oh my God." Batman checked the caller ID

"Joe Chill? Hmm?" he picked it up. "H-Hello?"

"_Hug? You okay?" he asked in a Joe Pesci like voice_

"Uh, I got a bad head cold Joe."

"_Oh, sorry to hear that, look that sh*t Ivy stole, Quinn drank it, shes going mad trying to find the Joker, word is, shes at the police station looking for him."_

"Uh-huh."

"_Look, I looked for you at your place in Riverhead, you weren't there, I figured you'd be at your cottage in Deutschland. You gotta send that antidote asap, if that sh*thead kills Joker, whose gonna wipe out the Bat when Ra's sends us on that global conquest of his?"_

"Uh...yeah, I'll send it Joe."

"_Good. Look I gotta go."_

"Sure." Batman knew he had to keep him on the line to milk him for more info. "How you doing otherwise?"

"_Been getting some bad drams lately."_

"Why?"

Brief cutaway to Nightwing looking over some stuff in the secret room...back to Batman

"_I dunno, but I bet it's got something to do wit that murder I pulled years ago."_

"Murder?"

"_You know, my gun discharged, and by impulse I killed Tommy and Martha Wayne!"_

"GASP!" Batman dropped the phone and nearly fell back into the couch.

**BUM-BUM-BUMMMMMMM! To be continued...please review! **


	198. Joker Must Die! Part VI

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Batman fell backwards onto the nearby couch, he dropped the phone receiver which simply dangled.

"_Hello? Hug? Hugo? Hugo you there? Hello?" _Batman got off the couch, nearly wanting to throw up he stormed to the phone, near tear-WHAAAAT? Batman crying? He picked up the receiver.

"Uh...I'm still here Joe." he sneered

"_Good, I'll wait for you, meet me at the usual place will ya?"_

"Sure, see ya." he hung up.

And now for some deep breathing, followed by the phone being torn from the cable and thrown about.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" He grabbed the table the phone was on and threw it against something else. "AHHHHHHHH!" More deep breathing...he then noticed a shelf of books and threw them all about the floor.

"Hey Smashy! Whenever your done with your temper tantrum, meet me in the master bedroom there's something you should see!" Nightwing called, having no idea.

"FUCK YOU!" Batman yelled. Though to this day he is insistent on manifesting his anger towards Chill, on Geoff.

"Wow Mr. Grouchy-Pants! Whoever that was on the phone sure put you in a mood!"

"You have-pant-pant-pant-NO IDEA! AHHHHHHH!" he overturned the couch.

"Well when your finished fighting the invisible man that seemed to piss you off to no end, I'll be in the SECRET ROOM in the master bedroom filled with a large array of UNSPEAKABLE THINGS!"

"Erg-I'll be there!" he calmed down a little drying the tears.

Now here's a dark still frame, as the room is dark, as Batman leaves for the stairs-BAM a pair of eyes are seen in the darkness...if you could see it, you'd jump...you'd jump. Nightwing heard Batman approach.

"Who was that anyhow?"

"The devil." Batman sneered

"Sigh, vague as usual."

"Alright Nightwing, I'm here what's so-...Dear God."

What he saw, didn't exactly, and for that matter couldn't exactly overshadow the fact he just had a brief conversation with the man who killed his parents, BUT, this could constitute as a close second.

"I know, I don't even think Hitler had this much sh*t."

What they saw was Nazi and Fascist paraphernalia anywhere from 1933-1945 at wars end. There were pictures of Strange in a German officer's uniform, him shaking hands with Adolf Hitler, Herman Goering, Erwin Rommel, Heinrich Himmler and the like. Swastikas, and iron crosses galore, there in a walled glass frame was a near mint Walther P38 and Luger pistols each signed by Goering and potentially worth thousands. On a glass gun rack, equally mint Karabiner 98 rifle, Gwehr 43 rifle, H&K Machinepistole model 40 sub-machine gun, the rare Sturmgewhre 44 assault rifle, all perfectly preserved, and signed by one Nazi dignitary or another. Geoff admired the collection that equally sickened him...as it would me.

"Wow...this gun collection alone could fetch a few hundred thousand."

"Are you kidding, if it wasn't a document Herman Goering signed next to nothing, if these are authentic the collection could be worth millions."

"And if want to find an antidote, the pickings ain't slim, look at this." Nightwing pointed to a table loaded with vile's containing fluids of a vast rainbow of colors. One side of the table had a card that read, toxin, the other, antidote.

"Question is, which ones the right one?" Batman asked

"We got time."

"You keep gathering evidence, I'll find the right vile."

"Sure, give me the easy job."

"Oh I'm sorry, do you want to-"

"No-no, it's all good." Nightwing looked at the pictures on the one wall. "Hmm, he met Walt Disney."

"Surprise-surprise."

"Werner Von Braun."

"Look into that. Braun was one of the Nazi's top nuclear researchers."

"Okay...Hmm...I don't recognize this guy."

"Location?" Batman asked shaking a few viles near his eye

"Uh, the Richtstag from the looks of it."

"Ra's?"

"No-no...he familiar though-gasp, oh my God it's Dr. Steinreich!"

"Not possible, I checked his birth records he was born in Skokie Illinois 1945. At wars end."

"Well this guy looks a helluva lot like him...hmm, it's almost like they're twins."

"Bullsh*t Geoff, your just-[smash]-what the hell are you doing!" Batman turned around to see Nightwing smash that picture out of the frame.

"Checking this out, there was something else behind this picture, it's his birth certificate...but check it out, April 21st 1898!"

"That means Strange would be 114 years old...and he doesn't look a day over 50."

"You're correct!"

"GASP!" and there he stood, in the doorway

"Strange." Batman growled

"A pleasure to see you both again, though it might be the last."

"You got a lot of explaining to do."

"I'm not the one responsible for breaking and entering." Don't you hate wise-asses? I do.

"What's your deal Strange? 114 years old? Nazi bio-chemist? Professor? Gene splicer? Nero-analyst? The hell is wrong with you?" Batman asked

"Hmm-hmm, Ra's Al Ghul is not the only person who knows their way around the Lazarus Pits. And as you may or may not be aware, Hugo Strange is not my real-er, whole name as it were."

"Well we should have figured that, what is it?" Nightwing asked

"If you noticed on my birth certificate of which you so rudely unearthed, it is Hugo Strange Blitzmeister."

"...Really?" Batman asked

"Ja."

"That would mean your name literally translates into Lightning-master."

"Very good Nightwing."

"Huh, perhaps my German isn't as bad as I thought."

"Gentlemen, my past is certainly not open for discussion right now, I am a busy man who just needed a few things, and I trust you came for this vile, ja? You know, to cure Harley Quinn of her psycho syndrome." he asked holding up a test tube with pink fluids. "You see, in the beginning of the second great war, Der Fuerher, asked yours truly to whip up a toxin that could in fact alter a person's moral outlook, from good to evil, from evil, to extremely evil, and so on. Though unfortunately, the War had other plans, I had completed the toxin successfully in March of '45. Though most unfortunate as I had to flee in order to escape the ever pursuing Soviets. I changed my name in Dusseldorf, avoided the Americans and British in France, and came to America, along with my creations. Would you like a better explanation?"

"No, that just about does it."

"Well, for now; we need Joker alive, as Mr. Chill mentioned to you on the phone...Trent."

"Erg." Batman sneered

"Mr. Chill?" Nightwing asked confused. "What's he talking about?"

"Crazy." Batman responded

"Well gentlemen, I must bid you my leave, I have reservations at Peter Luger's in Brooklyn. I'd hate to miss that, Aufwidersain!" suddenly Strange disappeared in a cloud of smoke "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"ERG! Dammit!" Batman sneered "Come on, and take that other sh*t with us, so no on else ever becomes evil again!" Just wait till the movie!

"Alright-alright, chill the nips-"

"DON'T SAY CHILL!"

"Okay-okay, let's go."

Back at the police station, Joker and Ivy listened as the guard fought Harley outside the cell block.

"No-no-no-that doesn't bend that way-no-AHHH-[thud]"

"Gulp." Joker gulped the door slammed open...yeah, I meant what I said.

"Knock-knock-PUDDIN!"

"Gah!" Harley walked through the cell block

"Harleykins! So good to see you-"

"Zip it Plant Girl, I'm gonna need someone to take all this extra pint up aggression and sexual frustration out on once all this is done! Guess whose on my list?"

"Uh-uh-uh-uh...Batgirl?"

"AAAAAAAA-wrong answer."

"Gulp, I was afraid of that." she turned to Joker, against the wall of the cell.

"And here it is, the great Clown Prince of Crime ladies and Gentlemen, cringing in fear over the girl he spent years abusing!" she unlocked the cell

"Ahhhhhhhhhh! Harley no! Please! I'll do whatever you want smoopsie-poo, honest! I promise I'll do my laundry at least once a month-okay a week-OKAY every day, swearzies!" he sobbed

"Not good enough. Your finished Clown! This is for all the times you've put me down-used me! And all for what? Some money? Crowding a cemetery or two? You're the one who once told ME, your not one to have a plan."

"You know in hindsight, it wasn't the best choice of words." Then Joker remembered, he still had his flower lapel. "You know Harl, you look a little flushed, here, let me-HELP YOU!" he sprayed her with the gas. This to his surprise, only disoriented her.

"EEEEEEEERG!"

"Oh, she mad. . .AHHHHHHHHHHHH! HELP ME!" Joker sprinted out of the cell block,as Harley regained her eyesight, she tossed Ivy the keys.

"You're coming with me bitch!"

"Yes ma'am!"

Upstairs, Batgirl exited the infirmary, to see everyone and their brother had deserted that floor. She was near Chris's office.

"What the hell-"

"Ahhhhhhhh! Help me!" she heard Joker's faint voice get less faint.

"Joker?"

"HELP MEEEE!" he came rushing in, and leaned up against Bullock's desk catching his breath. Twas his and Montoya's day off...Aren't they lucky?

"No more, please no more!" Harley and Ivy approached.

"Brat-girl!"

"Oh, no more...NO MORE!"

"Yes more-[chok]"

"Yai!" Harley launched something from her wrist thingy, which netted Batgirl against the wall.

"One down." suddenly, everyone else rushed out of Chris's office

"What happened? I heard rough housing? Is the scene safe?" Gil asked like a moron.

"Hmm-no!" she did the same to both Commissioner's

"Hey!"

"What in the world!"

"No you don't Quinn!" V-Bat lunged only for Harley to fall over and kick him against the wall, where he was netted

"Gah-CRUDDDDD!" Roddy MacStew much?

"We'll take care of em!" Ex yelled she launched three batarangs, which Harley dodged, and Robin jumped trying to knock her off balance, only for the end result, for the to be trapped as well.

"Well-well-well...I guess without Batman all you guys are..well-hmm-hmm-hmm, failures! We gotta old fart in a costume! A deranged assassin and the wittle hero boy whose dating her cause it's the only pussy he'll ever get! A Klutz who can't take a hit! A police commissioner who cares more about his hair than his job, or hos city, and a Rob Paulsen wannabe!"

"Well I've never!" Gil complained

"And then there's you, Joker." she turned to the Joker, and stuck her new, gold plated Desert Eagle inside his mouth. Mafia II much?

"Mo-Marley-mo-mo!" he begged

"Too late...I just wanna know Joker...why...WHY!" she sobbed. "Why'd you do it? And why me!" the gun came out.

"You were easy, what can I say, Ivy had these cool flowers that can emit a pheromone that keeps one attracted to another no matter what, that's the one I stuck in your office, and there were more! I figured you were a good earner so I'd keep you around!" she cried again

"YOU...YOU! Insolent! Miserable little!" she put the gun to his face again "I'm not doing this just for me anymore Duncan Napier! I'm doing this for everyone! So you'll never hurt anyone again! And if anyone has a problem with this, I'll blow you away myself!"

"What about me sis?" Harley turned around

"Harleen?" Her sister stood by Ivy. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh you know, I just saw The Raven, I was in the neighborhood, thought I'd I get a Cinnabon, maybe do a little window shopping-WHAT THE CRUD DO YOU THINK I'M DOING HERE!" she fumed "I broke out of Arkham. I'm trying to keep you from ruining your life! More than what that despicable fiend did! Kill him, and you'll never forgive yourself!"

"But he...he's just as responsible for me as he is you!"

"You think I don't know that? I know if it wasn't for him I wouldn't feel sorry that B-man always locked you up and I never would have went psycho. But I did, and I met Mistah G, the man of my dreams!"

"You know...I'm in no position to back talk, but what the hell do you see in Boyle anyway?" Joker asked

"Hey! Mistah G may be a lot of things...but at least he loves me! And he says it too! And means it! He went halfway round the country to get me mouse ears so we can see Disney On Ice! He got me Ice Cream after I found out Freakazoid was canceled 15 years ago! He even made me a homemade birthday card!"

"That's what always bugged me about you Joker...you never...EVER, said you loved me." she sobbed "After all the times I said it to you." she was about to pull the trigger...WHEN

"Okay-wait! Linds...think of it this way, if it wasn't for Joker, would you have gotten to know Red? Hmm?"

"No...I guess I wouldn't."

"Then don't kill him, wait'll some two-bit thug does it...go to her."

Suddenly, Harley felt all tingly and happy again, not mean and vicious. Here come the water-works, dammit I promised myself I wouldn't cry.

"Red!"

"Harley!" they embraced in a hug.

"Guys!"

"This is all very touching, but can somebody please GET US DOWN!" Chris ordered

Later, the gang was chillaxing at Wayne Manor, when Batman and Nightwing showed up, they entered the study.

"We checked in with Gordon, I guess everything worked out."

"Very well sir, very well indeed." Alfred said happily.

"Geoff, put those viles somewhere safe, I need to talk to Alfred...alone."

"Okay." Alfred turned to Cody, Jason, Sara, and Bridgette who were listening in and motioned for them to go elsewhere.

"So, it's been 48 hours, increased your jurisdiction to international borders sir?"

"Can the schtick Alfred." he unclowed

"Oh my."

"I talked to him Alfred."

"Who sir?"

"A voice...an evil, sadistic...painful voice I haven't heard in 30 some-odd years...Joe Chill, the man who killed my parents."

"Dear God." Alfred gasped

"1 in a 5.6 billion chance...and it happened...he's in cahoots with Strange, and Ra's. We were at Strange's Cottage in Germany, he called him, and I impersonated him, told me about these bad dreams, then said about the murder."

"You must have been traumatized."

"Maybe." Trent put the cowl back on and approached the window. "But he's out there Alfred, sure as hell, I'll find him by God...I'll find him. And when I do...Joe Chill will learn the true meaning of Justice..."

**THE END!**

**End of Season 9...**

**Wow guys...wow. We are almost done with Total Drama Batman! This seasons it, and then movie, and then sequel! BUT! Were not over yet, we got Trent's first real caper as the Batman featuring the pilot episode from B: TAS! A little CourtneyxGwen vendetta, more Creeper, more Chill, more Ra's, and of course the long awaited Biker Mice From Mars crossover! PLUS, if that weren't enough sh*t for ya! The 100th episode special, of wit, I need YOU, the loyal reader, to give me your questions that you want answered in the 100th episode special, please either REVIEW or PM me your question, and hurry, only 4 episodes left till! **

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Nightwing

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Pennyworth/The Exterminator

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill/V-Bat

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Lindsay Quinzel/Harley Quinn

**David Warner: **Ra's Al Ghul

**Corey Burton: **Hugo Strange

**Drew Nelson: **Duncan Napier/Joker

**Katie Crown: **Izzy Isley/Poison Ivy

**Jim Cummings: **Ubu

**Rob Paulsen: **Vice Commissioner Gil Mason, Various

**John DiMaggio: **Ash Nault, Guard

**Arleen Sorkin: **Harleen Quinzel

**Dorian Harewood: **Andre Boylan/Boxer, Additional Voices

**Charlie Adler: **Joe Chill

**Tom Kenny: **CharlesMansfield III, Additional Voices

**Mark Hamill: **Shadow, Additional Voices


	199. A New ManBat In Town, Part I

**Villain: Man-Bat (One-shot)**

**Episode Counterpart: On Leather Wings (1992)**

**Written By: Mitch Brian**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 97: A New Man-Bat in Town**

It's a Dark and Stormy night at Wayne Manor. The kind of dark and stormy night where you think something scary will most likely happen to our heroes, but you're wrong. Trent stared out the window of the study. After a long night of patrolling.

"Boy, the rain just keeps on coming." he said

"Sounds like a good night for a little story time, eh Master Trent?" Alfred asked

"Hmm, eh; why not. Kids! Get in here!" he called Sure as toast, Jason, Cody, and Sara entered the study.

"Were tired." Sara complained with a yawn.

"It's late." Jason added

"I wanna can of hash, and some coffee." Cody ordered monotone

"I called you all in here, cause it's story time!"

"Really!" Sara jumped

"What are we 6? I'm going back to bed." Jason turned away

"Fine, then I guess you don't want to know about my first REAL caper as the Batman." Jason stopped dead in his tracks

"Did I say 6? I meant...20!" he sat down, everyone gathered around Trent by his comfy chair.

"You guys know Dr. Langstrom right?" three eager heads nodded.

"Well, he once had a bad addiction to a formula he had created with a few additives he unknowingly got from our old friend Hugo Strange. At least I would assume that."

"And?" Cody asked

"And, this is the story of how yours truly, squashed the Man-Bat."

...-FLASHBACK-...

_6 years ago_

_I had been dealing with ousting the mob for years, but those were all small time jobs. All the costumed nutcases we all know today were virtually non-existent. But there was one terror of the night, a brand new terror...the man bat!_

"SCREEEEEEEECH!"

The bat like being flew up near a police chopper. One of the pilots got something on the radar.

"Hey, what was that?"

"What?" the other pilot asked

"I just saw a blip."

"I blip?"

"Yeah a blip."

"Look kid, I think you're starting to lose it-"

"SCREEEEEEEEECH!"

"Or...maybe not."

_His target, the Phoenix Pharmaceutical _ _I remember there being a guard he had just completely demolished. He was doing his nightly rounds inside, while talking into some tape recorder._

"Testing-one two-three, testing-one two-three-You too can have your dreams of becoming a radio personality come true! Yeah that's better, just call Stan Merkel at 555-5555 that's 555-5555." he stopped "Perfect-[suspicious noise]-huh?" he entered the room where he heard the suspicious noise, unknowing that the Man-Bat was behind him. "Hmm, I guess there's nobody-"

"SCREEEEECH!"

"AH! GET AWAY! GET AWAY!" he picked him up, and threw him out the glass window "AHHHHHHHH-[splash]" the canal below broke his fall.

_The next day, it made the headlines. In mayor Hill's office, sat Chris, Chef, and Al Dent. _

"Police declare war on Batman? Bullock you simpleton, this was not the statement I released to the press!" Chris glared throwing the paper at the detective.

"Relax Commissioner, Summer just asked a couple of questions, so I gave her a couple of answers that's all."

"You gave them without my approval, now he'll know that were moving against him."

"I'll find him!" Bullock stood up "I'll just need some help, your honor." he looked to the mayor

"What kind of help?"

"I want my own task force specially designed to throw the book over this Batman character."

"Intriguing, commissioner?"

"I've already denied the request, no ones bringing a vigilante task force onto my streets. Besides, this doesn't seem like Batman's MO at all."

"He is right Bullock, the Batman is the one responsible for bringing organized crime to a near standstill, something tells me this whole thing is a hoax."

"Your honor, any guy who dresses up as a bat and runs around in the night sure as sh*t has a couple of screws lose. If you know what I mean. And besides, you can go tell that to the guy he smashed through the window."

"It pains me to say it, but I think we can spare a few men Commissioner, Detective Bullock has been known to get results, I'm authorizing the strike force. Anything else Detective?"

"Al, just be sure that the DA's office can gimme an airtight case."

"If you catch him Harvey, I'll put him in jail for ya amigo."

_Around that time, I was in the Bat-Cave, reading that very paper, Alfred poured me some tea. _

"Gotham police declare war on Batman?"

"I gather you've been reading how to make friends and influence people sir?" I put the paper down.

"Hmm...someone's setting me up."

"Merciful Heavens, so it wasn't you dressing up like a giant bat and scaring the sh*t out of people? And throwing guards out of windows?"

"_Master Trent, my voice did not sound like that."_

"_Hey! Whose telling the story here?"_

"I only toss butler's Alfred." I got on the bat computer "Look here, two other pharmaceutical robberies happened earlier last week, very quiet, no one hurt like last night." I stood up "But chemical's stolen just the same."

"Sensing a pattern?"

"Only one way to find out."

"Then I'll cancel Master Trent's rendezvous with uh...Charlotte, was her name again sir?"

"Yes Alfred, do that."

_And now we waste a solid minute panning the camera about the Batmobile as I drive into Gotham...Yeah, it's a solid minute or so. Alright, now that we've seen a retrospect of the Batmobile from hood to bumper, I remember being across the street of Phoenix Labs. _

_I was still skeptical as to who, or what was breaking in. Like I told Alfred there was only one way to find out. So I zip-lined across the street, passing over a large hallway of windows, inside that corridor were two scientists getting, uh...intimate, I guess they spotted me whilst sucking face. _

"Hmm-hmm, come here you."

"Oh yeah..." moment ruined in 3...2...1- "Gasp!"

"It's him, he's back!"

"I'll call the police!"

"Hurry!"

_I was on the upper floors, in the corridor by the office where the office guy was so rudely, blatantly, and painfully thrown from. Ha-ha, I remember they had Courtney guarding the area outside the office, this was back when she was a beat cop. Alright so I tossed a smoke pellet on the floor, it hit her shoe, Courtney Montoya may be a lot of things, but an immunity to knock-out gas isn't one of them. I walked in._

_Now meanwhile, Bullock was in his car, when the call came in._

"Calling Detective Bullock! Calling Detective Bullock!"

"Yeah? Whatcha want maggot?"

"The Batman's been spotted breaking into Phoenix Labs, thought you'd be interested."

"Hmm-hmm, you thought right Torres, I want my squad there, backed by choppers, and as many officers as you can muster! AND I WANT IT DONE YESTERDAY!" Bullock drove erratically, (Trying not to get in an accident, as he seems to get in car wrecks in any episode featuring himself in an automobile) "You're mine Freak! Ha-ha-ha-ha."

_The police were converging faster than teens at party. Undaunted, I still got to work inside the office. Man I remember how dated my old gadgets were. I actually had a fingerprint/footprint spray which could only be seen with infrared goggles, now I just need the goggles. I noticed the marks were definitely not human, except for some footprints by a desk I assumed were the guards, that's when I found his tape recorder._

"Call the goth-huh-SCREEEEEEECH-ah, get away!"

_Outside, Bullock assembled his slightly crooked SWAT team, led by then Lieutenant Eli Moncourtois and still Lieutenant Brendan McCowskey._

"Alright you Joker's listen up! The Freak's in there! I want all of you to be on your toes, and nab him ALIVE MONCOURTOIS by any means necessary, capice?"

"Yeah-yeah-"

"Don't yeah-yeah me Eli, Brendan, your squad ready?"

"Yes sir Chef!"

"Alright, move it out!" they dashed in

"Alright boys! My crew will take the upper floors, Brendan's crew takes the lowers, an questions-good!"

_Upstairs near a broken vase I saw several hair like pieces, perfect evidence. It was then the chopper got right in my face from the window._

"Halt! Batman stay where you ar-dammit!" I dashed out of there toot sweet. It was then Gordon showed up.

"Commissioner, your just in time to see my boys hang the bat out to dry."

"You're sure he's in there Chef?"

"Positive, chopper pilot spotted him on the fourth floor, same place he knocked that guard out the other night."

"Well he can't possibly be in two places at once, either that or I'm hallucinating."

"What?"

"Another pharmaceutical company just got robbed...you have the wrong bat Lieutenant."

"It can't be."

"Bullock! Call them off now!"

"Uh...oops, radios on the fritz again."

"I'm sure."

_Inside, Moncourtois and his crew were nearly the fourth floor via the rear emergency staircase. _

"Are we really gonna take him alive Eli?"

"Of course, we can try, I mean; guns these days, you can never tell when they're gonna discharge, or maybe he decided to fight back, and we acted in self defense-gentlemen were Special Weapons and Tactics, these things happen...right?"

"Right."

"Right."

"RIGHT!"

"Yes sir."

"Good, now let's clear the fourth floor, breach and clear, move-move-MOVE!

_I was heading for the elevators, when I ran right into them._

"Gasp!"

"It's him!"

"Well why are you standing around like federal workers? Shoot him!"

_like a pro I dodged them, then threw a smoke grenade to cover my retreat, I literally jumped over them all, and headed for the elevators._

"Got dammit! Someone get a bead on him! And find McClowskey and tell him we go 'im!" they chased me to the elevators I pulled the door open, perfect, the car was below me, I tossed a few knock-out pellets, ending their investigation and slid down the shaft.

"_Ha-ha-ha-ha, that's what she said-"_

"_Erg...anyway."_

"Gas attack!"

"Put on your...y-your ma-unh." the elevator car was on the second floor, I left, and to my right, there was McClowsley and his crew.

"There he is!"

"Shoot him!"

"What!"

"But Bullock said-"

"Bullock's not here! Now shoot him!"

_Outside Bullock and chef heard the guns._

"Well someones in there Commissioner."

"Fix that radio and call them off Bullock! Or I will!"

_I dodged them long enough to find cover, and catch my breath behind a table in a science room_

"There's nowhere left to run Batman!"

"Give up!" I threw some batarangs to cover me retreat into the next room, a storage room with a lot of windows.

"Get him!" [rapid fire]

"I'll take care of him Brendan!"

"Case no! Dammit!" the other officer ran in, I was quick to muffle his mouth, which scared him sh*tless nonetheless.

"GASP!"

"Shh!" the other officers stacked against the doorway.

"What do we do now sir?" Brendan responded with a cruel smirk, and a grenade "Tear gas?"

"Yeah, were gonna smoke em out."

"But, what about Case?"

"He'll be fine, he's a tough kid, he could be dead for all we know. Alright boys, masks on, ready!" he threw the grenade in, which rested by a stockpile of various flammable objects.

"GASP!" so I grabbed the officer, and we broke through the window just before the explosion

Ka-BOOM!

_I launched the bat hook to a tree and we landed safely, then I disappeared into the nearest alley, leaving the officer near frozen, Chris and Chef ran to him._

"Case!"

"Case you alright, what happened?"

"Unh." he fainted

**To Be Continued...Please review!**

**And please, keep asking those questions, I don't care who you are, but I needs more! **


	200. A New ManBat In Town, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"That didn't happen." Jason said in disbelief

"Why so skeptical?" Why so serious?

"Come on, there's no way the police were that corrupt, they're SWAT."

"Some people lead others into paths of deception Master Jason." Alfred added

"Alfred's right." Sara agreed

"Besides, I'm not sure if that's what they said, all I know is, Bullock said, alive, and they shot at me, I know today Moncourtois is semi-retired and is strictly a tactical sniper, whether he was demoted by any litigation's or not, as for McClowskey, he's back with the Green Beret's, maybe perhaps someone on either team got scared and fired a stray shot?" Trent shrugged

"We'll never know." Alfred added

"Yeah well...I still have my doubts." Jason crossed his arms.

"Anyway, all skepticism behind, where were we Trent?" Cody asked

"I do believe Master Trent had a meeting the next day at the Gotham zoo, if I'm not mistaken."

"Ah, yes; Dr. Langstrom..."

...-Flashback-...

_Gotham zoo, 6 years ago. _

_Alright, I got dressed in my finest brown suit, with mustard shirt, and black tie apparel, and put on the best Trent Wayne smile I could muster. I had an appointment with Dr. Marche, the official biologist of all bat species. The whole exhibit area seemed vacant._

"Hello? Hello? Dr. Marche? Hello?"

"Yeah? Who is it, whose there?" a short man with gray hair asked at the other end of the hallway.

"Trent Wayne, I have an appointment. About a bat problem at my house."

"Who do you think we are pest control?"

"Well...I just need-"

"Yeah-yeah, come in." he lead me into the laboratory

"Why thank you."

"Donate a few mill and suddenly you own the place." Marche whispered. "I understand I am to analyze something for you?"

"Yeah doc, see I keep hearing squeaks in my chimney, and I found these in my empty fireplace." he held up a small bag containing the hairs he found the previous evening. "I think they're hairs."

"And?"

"And I was wondering if you could tell me if I was having a bat problem."

"And so what if they are bats Mr. Wayne, hmm? What then? You want to destroy them-humans won't survive the next evolutionary cataclysm, but bats will! They're survivors not pests Mr. Wayne."

"Oh believe you me, I know."

"I don't really think you do-"

"Dad!" Francine Langstrom exited the office hearing the commotion "I sure hope Mr. Wayne understands you mean him no disrespect."

"Of course not...uh...Ms-"

"Mrs. Langstrom, Francine Langstrom. I'm Dr. Marche's daughter. I believe you spoke with my husband over the phone?" then from the next door, Kirk entered

"Oh Mr. Wayne, sorry I'm late, I'm Kirk Langstrom. Do you have the sample I am to analyze?"

"I gave it to Dr. Mar-[slam]-che." the doc was gone "Uh, did I do something?"

"Oh no, he was probably just getting started on the analysis." Kirk explained

"Dad was giving Mr. Wayne one of his usual painfully lectures on curoptora."

"I HEARD THAT!"

"Cuopto-what?"

"Curoptora, the study of bats." Francine explained

"And I hope he didn't get to carried away, he's very...protective about this sort of matter. Why, I think he likes bats more than he does people."

"I can't imagine-oh yes, how could I forget, I brought you this too." I took out the tape recorder. "It's a recording I made about the noise in my chimney."

"SCREEEEEECH-SCREEEEEECH-SCREEEEECH!"

"Well, that certainly doesn't sound like any bat I've ever heard." Francine pondered. Kirk took the recorder.

"Our animal behavioral zoologists have a library with a multitude of different animal sounds, I'll have them analyze it for you, if it is in fact bats, we'll give you a call."

"I'd appreciate it."

_Later that evening in the Bat-Cave I was analyzing a copy I made of the recording. _

"SCREEEEECH-SCREEEECH-SCREEEEECH!"

"I hadn't realized you've taken up listening to rock n roll sir, not since you've picked up your guitar recently."

"You know Alfred, I had run this passed all known mating calls, and other animal sounds, but nothing adds up, nothing at all." the phone rang, Alfred answered it

"Wayne Manor...yes, one moment please...sir, it's a call for Master Trent, a Dr. Marche."

"Good." I turned on the speaker. "Hey what's up doc?"

"You have bats Mr. Wayne, common brown bats, this shouldn't pose too much of a problem, as the weather gets colder, they'll move on."

"What about the sounds?"

"It's actually two sounds, starlings and brown bats, probably fighting over a nest in your chimney, again, they'll move on as well."

"Appreciate the help doc, I'll return the favor next time your raising funds, bye now." end transmission "The computer checked that fiber against every animal species known to man, I thought it might know something they didn't, that hair WASN'T a brown bat."

"And those melodic sounds?" Alfred asked

"Let's find out, computer, cross reference any correlation between sounds, starlings and brown bats."

"Negative, sound snot generated by either animal."

"I knew it!"

"I would say sir we have ourselves an-incongruity?"

"Incongruity Alfred? He's lying, and I'm gonna find out why!"

_Little did I know, that at that lab at that moment, someone had burned the tape, and the bag of hairs with a Bunsen burner. My guess, it was Kirk._

"Erg, can't...can't fight it, it's got me!" He drank that pinkish slop. Throwing the test tube away, then taking his pet bat in it's cage back to the other lab. Just as I entered to investigate.

_Well, no sooner do I get started, but I notice an empty pill bottle from Phoenix. Just then the door opened, and Langstrom appeared. _

"Whose back there." I felt I should show myself. "You!"

"I'm looking for Dr. Marche."

"He's not here, Batman."

"Where is he?"

"Giving some lecture on human extinction and bat evolution, he's really quite brilliant."

"He's misguided, and a thief!" I roared showing him the empty bottle.

"He's just a theorist, but I wasn't, I knew we had discovered a formula to create a totally new species, neither man nor bat. But sadly, once I started taking it, I couldn't stop! I desperately wanted to, but IT took over, Francine and Marche tried to protect me, but it was far too late. The beast knew what chemicals it needed to make the formula over and over, it was out of my control! And it needs but one more component to complete the process, it's in me! BATMAN!" he took out another pill bottle. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" he crushed the bottle with his bare hands, and he started to transform, I couldn't believe my eyes! He had transformed into a huge bat like humanoid!

"SCREEEEEECH!" it threw all the beakers and test tubes around and tried to grab me, I quickly got out of it's way.

_I was unaware of hoe freaking strong this thing actually was, he picked up the heavy lab table like it was nothing, and hurdled it towards me, it stood on top of the table, then someone else rushed into the laboratory_

"Kirk-gasp!" it was Francine. The beast looked ashamed, and tried to fly away. I used the Bat hook, to latch onto it's legs, and it pulled me out the window, pretty good roller coaster if I do say so myself.

_It was a wild ride, we flew across the city, he tried to snag me as we flew horizontally passed buildings over top of buildings the whole nine. We even flew up towards the two chopper pilots from before._

"I'm getting something strange."

"Oh kid not this again."

"No I'm serious this time, look."

"Look, will you face facts, there is no-[womp]-whoa!" Man-Bat flew near the chopper, and I took a face full of windshield.

"SEE!"

"Gotham command this is chopper 3, we need back-up!"

_He sent me hurdling all around the chopper, barely hitting the propeller blades. Back at the police command, a chopper was about to take off with Chef._

"Let's go, why are we waiting?"

"I'm sorry sir, but I can't let you up without the commissioner!"

"Says who?"

"The Commissioner!" Gordon approached the chopper

"GET OUT DETECTIVE!" he ordered "The mayor might not let me fire you, but I am not taking the heat for your fiasco!"

"This is my case commissioner! You heard the mayor!"

"Then why don't you go take it up with him! I got a job to do got dammit! If you wanna tag along, fine!" Chris entered "Take her up Corporal!"

"Hey, wait for me!" Chef yelled grabbing onto the wheel."

_He took me to an unfinished building, we went zooming around the skeleton of steel, having a close call or two, or three, once I got a stance on a steel gerter and tried to pull him back up, only for his momentum to shift, he flew up the other side, and knocked me down, and we flew away from that site, and running right into the Commissioner's chopper._

"Whoa!"

"What is that thing?" Chef asked

"That thing is what were after!"

"GAH!" we flew right below the chopper, and headed for midtown.

_I managed to get the Man-Bat to knock it's head on a neon sign, and we fell right below to a parking garage. The chopper shined it's light, bleeding, and in pain, I carried him back. To the Bat-Cave._

"Two for dinner sir?"

"I've itemized a list of all the stolen chemicals, who knew they could be created in such a way to creat such a monster."

"A pity, if only Langstrom knew that, is it feasible?" Alfred asked

"You know, I think it is."

_I drove the healed, yet still conked out Kirk back to the zoo, where Francine was waiting._

"Will he be alright?"

"Yes, the formulas out of his system."

"So, it's all over."

"Yes...for now."

...-Wayne Manor-...

Present Day

"The end."

"My-my, that story gets more chilling every time you tell it Master Trent." Alfred smiled "But, where are the children?"

"I don't know. Kids...guys...hello?" he walked out of the study, and saw they were in the living room, trying to drown out the scary story with some cartoons.

"He's not real...the Man-Bat's not real."

"It was just a story...just a story."

"Hmm...screw the Boogieman Alfred...I think I may have found a way to get them to bed early from no on."

**The End...**

**Alright dudes and dudettes, we got a little CourtneyxGwen rage up next, will there be aggrevated one-sided Yuri? I dunno? But think about who you're talking to! Stay tuned!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Pennyworth

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Clive Revill:** Alfred in flashback

**Marc Singer: **Dr. Kirk Langstrom

**Frank Welker: **Man-Bat, Various

**David Kaufman: **Jason Drake, Various

**Tress MacNeille: **Dr. Francine Langstrom

**Maurice LaMarche: **Dr. Marche, Additional Voices

**Mark Hamill: **Lieutenant Eli Moncourtois

**Nolan North: **Lieutenant Brendan McClowskey

**Kevin Conroy: **Chopper pilot, various

**Richard Moll: **Guard, Bat Computer

**Marco Grazzini: **Alejandro Dent


	201. The Claws of Revenge! Part I

**Villain: Catwoman**

**Episode Archive: HUGBEES!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Tom Ruegger**

**Teleplay By: Michael Reaves**

**Art Direction: Ted Blackman&Ronnie Del Carmen**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 98: The Claws of Revenge!**

It was a quiet morning in Gotham city, Harley wasn't out trying to destroy everything, Ra's had better things to do, even the Joker was taking a mental health day, sitting in Arkham watching nostalgic cartoons which we've referenced one time too many on this show.

Inside the depressing, and stereotypical-to-your-average-office-type police boardroom, many og Gotham's finest...semi finest...kinda...finest-hopeless, and pathetic-police officers sat awaiting the Commissioner to deliver the daily briefing. This consisted mostly of the top detectives, and the captains. Gil entered the room, and took the head seat.

"Alright you jamokes listen up! Chris, our illustrious and esteemed pain in the as Commissioner decided to take another one of his impromptu vacations, so guess whose in charge...come on guess!" everyone looked at Gil with such uninthusiasm, or they were asleep. "Well come on!"

"Uh...Manny the janitor?"

"No."

"Uh...Montoya, shes pretty responsible."

"Thanks Sarge."

"No!"

"Well, there goes my smile."

"Uh...oh I got it, Batman!"

"NO!"

"Alright uh...oh, the Croatian guy who has that food truck and serves lunch!"

"NOOO!-No-No! Stop-j-just stop guessing, it's me! Me! Gil, I'm the big cheese around here!"

"GROOOOOOOAN!"

"Well don't everyone get all excited at once, come on guys! It'll be fun! We can say funny sh*t over the radios, fly the choppers for the hell of it, all the stuff Chris never lets us do."

"I dunno Gil...after getting bitched by crazy chick, I'm just not feeling like a goof-off like I used to be." Chef added

"Aw come on Chef, you're talking crazy!" Gil assured him

"Yeah Detective, here, have a doughnut." an officer offered him "Jelly filled, your favorite."

"Eh...thanks Paulson, but...I had a nice bowl of Whole grain for breakfast, and an apple."

"GASP!"

"GASP!" Gasps filled the room, and Gil fell to his knees.

"CURSE YOU HARLEY QUINNNNN!"

"Chef ate something healthy?"

"Chef turned down a doughnut?"

"Alright, alright." Gil regained himself. "The point is, I'm the Commissioner, and as that I want to be treated as such, now let's have a good day of patrolling huh? GCPD on three, one...two...three-"

"Gcpd." everyone said unenthusiastically

"SUPER!"

Everyone got to their cars. Chef and Courtney started on their routine patrol, Midtown, Dawson Heights, Cherry Hill, Westbrook, Chinatown. Same old same old.

"Sigh...have I ever told you this job sucks?"

"5 minutes ago." Chef said looking at his watch.

"Sigh...I remember when I was a research analyst at Renew-You Cosmetics-"

"Those were the days, I had it all, my job was awesome, I got an awesome paycheck, then one day when business was slowing down Gwen Kyle and her stupid animal rights hippies started a rally, next thing you know, were under! Then I had to go get this dumb job as a detective with the Gotham special crimes unit! Did I miss anything?"

"Wow...you're a good listener Chef!"

"Yeah-yeah, you only say it three times a day."

"I'm sorry...I just hate that...that-that little bitch! Gwen Kyle! The animal rights activist, the philanthropist, the girl who has everything-"

"Uh, Montoya." Chef noticed Courtney's bad thoughts caused her already reckless driving to careen them into oncoming traffic at Gotham City Square.

"And then...she has the gall to go and steal sh*t! Just so she can pa for those damn cats of hers and add something else to her collection while others are forced to-"

"Montoya!"

"To take on other lowly jobs just so she can have her stupid animal friends happy! Screw everyone else! And the stupid public thinks shes a hero just cause she helps Batman every now and again, well I'm not gonna stand for it any longer-"

"MONTOYA!" Chef quickly grabbed the wheel amidst her ranting and dodged the oncoming drivers (Remember now, they're in New York) like Devon Hester avoids a kickoff team. Eventually he managed to get them in a parallel parking spot.

"Whew." Chef sat back in his seat and looked up "I owe you one!" Courtney didn't even notice, much to Bullock's chagrin

"Never again, will she make others suffer so she can get what she wants. You here me Catwoman! When I get my hands on you, I'll make you wish you weren't born-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" . . . "Hey look, were in front of a Starbucks! You want coffee? All this ranting has given me quite the caffeine fix."

"Sigh...sure, make sure it's as black as as the Maggot-Clown's heart."

"1 mocha-shmocha frappe latte-large, and 1 Joker's heart premium roast- large, coming right up." Chef watched her walk in.

"Ugh, this woman's gonna be the death of me." he sighed, and lit a smoke.

Gil was sitting in Chris's office, enjoying his large swivel chair.

"Yeah, this is the life." he stared out into Gotham. "Gotham City, MY city, the city where your dreams...are most likely not gonna come true." the phone rang. "Ooh, the executive phone...GCPD, this is Mason...Commissioner Mason-tee-hee." he giggled

"_Hey twinkle toes, I hate to interrupt your daydreams, but I have gotten several Catwoman sightings in Midtown, shes at the Second Floor Fine Art museum, uh...on a shopping spree, if you catch my drift."_

"Oh gosh this sounds legit Perkins, you know which floor shes on?"

"_...Well gee Gil I dunno maybe the-SECOND FLOOR!"_

"...Rude, well this is normally Batman's MO, but it's far too early. I'll just get Montoya and Bullock on the case."

"_Good thinking, I'll be at KFC laughing it up with Wilkes and Hillside at how much of an ass you are!"_

"You do that! I'll get those two, end transmission!"

"_Idiot-"_

Gil quickly called Bullock, still in the car, deep breathing, just as Courtney got back.

"_Bullock! Montoya!"_

"Yeah?"

_Catwoman was spotted at Second Floor in Midtown, I want you both to take it." _Chef looked to his left

"That's just across the street, were on it Gil." Courtney looked at the building with such anger and disdain cause she knew deep inside, her greatest enemy was in there.

"Oh, were on it alright, I'm gonna take that kitty off the streets once and for all!"

"Do you get the feeling though that Cowl head will just swoop in and take her back to the Fruit Loop Box."

"Hmm, you know Bullock you're right." she ran outside

"Where you going?"

"Creating a diversion, ha-ha-ha."

Courtney was at this magical old device called a "phone booth" where she made the call she knew all to well.

"_Bat-Cave."_

"Help me Batman! I'm in terrible danger!"

"_What? Alright ma'am, I'm gonna need you to calm down, just stay calm, what's wrong?"_

"Uh...uh...my-CAT! Yeah my cat is stuck up a tree, oh I can't get her down and shes really scared!"

"_Your cat?"_

"Yeah!"

"_Your cat?"_

"YES!"

"_Just checking...where's your location? Trent asked becoming less worried. _

"Uh...the park...at-" she looked at the attached phone book "At Boston!"

"_Boston...Massachusetts?"_

"Yes! Please Batman, I don't know how much she can stay up there...they don't always land on their feet you know!"

"_Yeah...I know-sigh-sit tight I'll be right there ma'am." he hung up._

"Yes! Yes, yes yes yes!" Courtney hopped all around.

. . .

"Who was that sir?" Alfred asked

"Girl with a cat stuck up a tree." Trent sighed suiting up "It's a little out of my way, but I am off duty."

"Where?" Night-hacker asked

"Boston."

"Massachusetts?" they both asked

"Yup, I'll be back later." he hopped in the Bat-Wing and got ready for take off

"Bring me some chowder will ya!" Night-hacker yelled. he flew off.

"And what's wrong with my chowder master Geoffrey?" Alfred asked

"You only make Manhattan, I want New England dammit!"

"Humph, I'll show you who makes good chowder!"

"Alfred hold up!"

"What is it now?"

"Check this, I just traced the call from the girl who called Trent, it's a hardline."

"Yes, those are called phone booths Master Geoffrey, it's like a really big cell phone you make calls-"

"I know what it is wise-ass, I mean the location." Alfred got closer

"Why?"

"Trent said it came from Boston, but according to the computer the call was made right here in Midtown."

"What...you don't think he's walking right into a trap do you?"

"Possibly, but it was most likely a diversion I think...so, still waiting on that chowder."

"Sigh, coming right up Master Lazy."

Over at Second Floor Fine Art Gallery-museum...place! Gwen was having her own little five finger discount shopping spree.

"Ah, nothing like a little larceny of the finest things to get the old adrenaline rush pumping-ooh, maybe he'll gimme a good chase this time, and we'll end up on another romantic date like last time!" she picked up a small sculpture that was most likely made through the creative riggers of illegal drugs and hard liquor. "A fantastic piece, just puuuuuuuurfect." she purred licking her other hand. "You my friend will be just enough to pay for my poor friends from those fiendish poachers!" she sneered, holding up a picture of five of the cutest little lion cubs. "Oh your just so cute I could just-[bang]-kiss you?" a bullet went right through the picture. "Gasp!"

"Hey there Gwen! Remember me?"

And to put a hanger on this cliff, Batman arrived in Boston, where at the park, sure enough, there was in fact a cat stuck in the tallest tree, in the tallest branch, a small crowd gathered. Convenient, yes?

"Ugh, time to save the day." he rushed over.

"Hey-hey look!"

"It's Batman!"

"It is Batman!"

"I don't believe it!"

"Hey, I just realized something...he's from New York! Get him!" one of the people charged up behind Batman in his Tom Brady Jersey and Red Socks hat , where Batman simply slugged him one in the face from behind, he hit the floor.

"What can I tell ya Phil, I tried to warn ya."

"Thanks Paul." he said weakly.

Batman waked up to a crying little girl below the tree.

"Were you the one who called me?"

"C-C-Called you?"

"Yes, you called? About your cat in the tree?"

"I don't-I don't...JUST GET HIM DOWN PLEEEEEASE!"

"It's okay, I will." Batman scaled the tall tree. "What's his name?"

"Mr. Fluffles!"

"And that's why you never let your kids name your pets." he whispered. Eventually he made it to the top branch. And crawled to the Garfield colored cat on the edge.

"Meow...meow."

"It's okay Mr. Fluffles."

"Meow...meow."

"Now wait a second... if this girl didn't call me, then who di-" suddenly the cat appeared in front of Batman with it's sharp claws out, he looks at the camera and sighs. "...Crap."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	202. The Claws of Revenge! Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

In the Bat-Cave Alfred presented Nighthacker with a mediocre bowl of chowder.

"Bon appetite Master Geoffrey."

"Alfred, this soup's cold!"

"Oh yeah, I was busy watching my soaps after I was done."

"Ugh...well, soup is soup." he took a sip

"Any word on Master Trent?"

"Uh...he arrived in Boston, that's all I know."

"So, if this is a diversion, what are the chances this person has set their wheels in motion already?"

"I'm checking for that now..." he checked the computer's database "Wow, only ONE crime to report."

"What is it."

"Gwen, doing what she does best at Second Floor Gallery."

"Hmm, we should get Master Trent home right away."

"Eh, let this one run it's course Alfred, no way Gwen is THAT in over her head...soups still cold."

At the gallery, Courtney the crazy Cop approached Gwen

"Gulp."

"Well-well-well, look at this little reunion." she smirked

"Courtney! Courtney Montoya! Ha-ha-ha, l-l-long time no s-see." she said sheepishly Courtney backed her into a wall "Okay fine, I'll just put all the art back and we'll call it square."

"Ha-ha-ha-no."

"Darnit!" Courtney placed her arm around her shoulders.

"Here's where I see you tomorrow Gwendolyn...in a cramped maximum security prison cell in Annapolis, with an unruly cellmate named Bertha who uses you as a welcome mat."

"Or-or-or, better idea-better idea, you can just send me back to Arkham like my file suggests you should. After all I am insane, I mean, extreme kleptomania! Yup, that most certainly is a problem alright." she chuckled sheepishly.

"Ha! Arkham...that place is too good for a life wrecker like you Gwenny! Dietary meals, comfortable beds, a karaoke machine! That's not prison that's camp!"

"Now-now to be fair, the karaoke machine is broken-"

"I DON'T CARE! You ruined my cosmetics business with your damn animal rights crap!"

"You tested your products on those helpless bunnies!"

"And now those bunnies smell like citrus honey dew and their fur glows like the sun."

"I don't care! I know what I did and I'm not ashamed for it!"

"You ruined my life! And forced me to take up this job-"

"Please! Don't make her tell the damned story again!"

"QUIET CHEF! ERG!" she composed herself "Point is little miss Ruins-Everything, I've had it with you! You and your Robin Hood Lifestyle...I'm taking you down!"

"Like hell you are!" Catwoman tried to act tough even though she was pinned against the wall. Courtney took out her gun

"Oh I will, and you have two options; Option 1: you come quietly and through some tweaking of your files I'll see to it you end up in the toughest prison in the country, where you'll never bother me or anyone else again-or, Option 2: you choose the hard way and I gun you down, the choice is yours of course...so Catwoman...what's it gonna be?"

Catwoman was able to grab a small statuette from behind Courtney.

"Oh come now Detective Montoya...but you should know...it's...always...the...hard way-[smash] Meooooooow!" she leaped forward, Montoya was able to regain herself

"Erg! Chef get her!"

"Your mine Cat!"

"Guess again fatty!" she ran on all fours and jumped right over him, and headed for the nearest window "Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I really must be going, toodles!"

"We going after her?"Chef asked

"Oh...were going after her...if it kills me!"

Catwoman scaled the building and dashed across the roof

"Okay, now to get Detective Crazy off my tail, time to call in Batman!" she used the cooleo wrist watch Trent gave her for her birthday. "Bat-Cave...come in Bat-Cave!"

. . . . . . . . . .

"_Hello? Come in Bat-Cave!"_

"Can it be?" Night hacker asked

"My word, I dare say that sounds like Miss Kyle!"

"You dared right Alfred, Gwen...Gwen?"

"_Geoff!"_

"Yeah, what's up?"

"_Where's the man I share with demon girl?"_

"Well..."

"How important is your situation Miss Kyle?"

"_Uh...I'd say Pretty dire! Where is he?"_

"...Boston."

"_WHAT! … Courtney! She had the number to the Bat-Cave she must have created a diversion!"_

"Ha! Told ya!" Night hacker laughed

"What can I say, you were right."

"Look Gwen, we'll do what we can, but until Trent can get back from whatever busy work Courtney gave him in Boston-"

"As the young kids say Miss Kyle: you're screwed."

"_Great! Just...just make sure he finds me...before Courtney does!"_

"We'll do, hang in there Catwoman, end transmission." Night hacker turned around in his chair "Why would Courtney go through this much trouble to get Gwen?"

"Believe me Master Geoffrey, the question is not why...but how. There isn't a person Courtney Montoya hates more in this world than Gwendolyn Kyle."

"Hmm, I guess you're right...wonder how Trent's doing?"

. . . . . . . .

"Ow-ow-ow-ow-face-ow-ow that hurts!"

"Meooooooow!" Mr. Fluffles scratched Trent's face to ribbons

"Ow-stop it-st-stop it!" Batman managed to grab the cat away from his face

"Meow! Meow! Meow! Grrrrrrrrrrr."

"Why do I have such bad luck with cats!"

"Meooooow! Hisss! Hisss! Meoooow!"

"Sometimes I swear this job is gonna be the death of-[snap]-...me...CRAP!" the branch snapped, and Batman and the cat fell to the ground!

"Ahhhh-ow-oof-ow-oof-ow!" and believe me he hit EVERY Branch on the way down.

"What's happening?"

"Can you see him?"

"Did he get Mr. Fluffles?"

"Ow-oof-ow-[splat]" Batman landed in an awkward position, he painfully held his hand up, and Mr. Fluffles landed right on it, on his feet.

"Here he is miss, safe and sound."

"YAY! Mr. Fluffles!" she hugged her now docile kitten, Batman stood up in pain "Thank you Batman!"

"No problem miss, it's what I do, no need to thank me."

He painfully limped to the Bat-Wing and sat in the cockpit, spraying his body with iodine spray and antiseptic.

"Why would someone divert me to Boston?" he asked himself. Night hacker called him

"_Hey bro, I think I may know who sent you to Boston."_

"Well good, cause I'm dying to know."

"_Montoya, and I think she maybe after Gwen."_

"Oh no, I was afraid of this." he sighed "I'll be back in Gotham in 15 minutes, tell Gwen to keep fighting!"

"_Can do!"_

Got dammit! I should have figured this day would come-dammit-dammit-dammit!" he groaned, taking off and rushing back towards New York.

Meanwhile Catwoman was a block or so away atop the nice glass roof of the Gotham City Mall, now you know as well as I do that this roof will cease to exist in a matter of moments. (And uh, a little spoiler alert here, but we have NOT seen the last of the roof of the diamond exchange in this series ;] )

"Okay, whew, I think I finally lost that crazy psycho bit-[whirp-whirp-whirp-whirp]-always on cue." she sighed. She looked to her 9 o'clock high (high to her left) to see an armed police helicopter heading her way.

"Attention Gwendolyn Kyle! This is your final warning! Surrender now, and I may spare your pathetic life!"

"Montoya! You can't say that over the loudspeaker!" Chef yelled not realizing everything they were yelling was broadcasted to the public.

"Up yours Chef! I'll say what I wanna say!" Courtney looked down to see Catwoman dash across the roof "Oh no you don't! Hang on Bullock, things are about to get bumpy-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" she laughed, heading in Catwoman's direction

"Your mine Catwoman!" ...over to Chef

"Yes State Farm? Hi it's Harvey Bullock...good and you? That's good-listen, I would like to increase my health insurance please...fantastic!"

"Hey Mr. doubtful, you wanna put the phone down and help me here?"

"Erg, yeah yeah Ms. Pain in my ass."

. . . .

"Pant...pant...pant..." Catwoman tried to outrun the chopper, but this proved no good, Courtney fired the mounted chain gun

[raaaaaaaaapid fiiiiiiiire] and all the shots destroyed the roof below, people in the mall were screaming!

"Oh my God!"

"The roof!"

"WHY DIDN'T I MOVE TO HARTFORD WITH MY MOTHER!"

"Whoa-whoa-whoa-ahhhhhhhhh!" CRASH

the roof eventually cracked in front of Catwoman, and she fell to the fourth floor fountain by the escalators, she jumped

"Meooooooooooooow! WATER!" she jumped "I...h-h-h-h-HATE water!" she shook herself off. To see the chopper right above her.

"Last Chance Gwenny! Don't make me count to three."

"Try it bitch try it!" Catwoman yelled

"You asked for it!" the chopper dove into the mall, Gwen went wide, and sprinted away.

"Montoya you can't be seriously!" Chef yelled

"Oh! I'm serious alright, shes going down Harvey! If it kills me-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Gulp, maybe I should increase my health insurance once more-"

"NO MORE!" she flew towards Gwen, who was running on the first floor.

"Uh...Montoya." Deja Vu, Chef saw in front of them, a bridge separating the two sides of the mall where the escalators separate the floors, which would tear the chopper to shreds.

And now back to Police HQ.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!

"Ooh goodie, another phone call...Hello, Commissioner Gil Mason here."

"_Can the the sh*t big shot! We got a problem at the mall, I uh...think you outta be here."_

"Why Hennessy, what's wrong?"

"_Trust me...you NEED to see this."_

"Alright, alright." Gil got his jacket "What's the code?"

"_Uh...a 669."_

"669...669...66...9." Gil said skimming through the official GCPD police code book. "GASP! Oh my God! Montoya's trying to get revenge on Catwoman by rampaging through the mall with a police helicopter!"

"_Yup."_

"I'll be right there!" he hung up "Dammit Montoya!"

Back to the mall...

"Montoya!" Chef yelled again

"Shut it! I'm hot on her tail! I'll see to it that that fiend doesn't muck up anyone's life ever again!"

"MONTOYA!" they were about to crash Chef tried to get them out of the way but-

CRASH! They got the chopper stuck in the 2nd floor bridge, no one was injured.

"Ugh."

"Unh." they heard the sirens get close. Courtney had her head pressed against the pilot's side window, she looked below to see Gwen below panting.

"Ugh...ugh." Chef groaned "I hate this...job."

Gwen thought now she might have been safe, as the immediate area she was standing was cluttered with smoke. Cue TDK's Joker theme music! Suddenly she felt someone jump on top of her, it was Courtney!

"Gah!" she threw her off. Courtney took out the small combat knife the police were issued.

"Don't cross me Montoya!" her claws grew. Courtney simply breathed heavily. "You don't know when to quit do you?"

"Never-AHHHHH!" she lunged, getting a good slice at Catwoman's shoulder

"OW!"

"Hi-yeah!"

"Oof!" she kicked Catwoman into the window of a TV store, Courtney approached her.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha." it's over Gwen." Catwoman went wide eyed. "Finally, after all these years I got you right where I want you! Say goodnight Gwen."

"Goodnight Gwen." she closed her eyes, JUST as a batarang knocked Montoya's weapon out of her hand.

"NO!" she looked right at

"Batman! Yes, I'm saved!" regaining her strength, she ran to him, only to be presented with handcuffs, and no hello -[click] "Humph, nice to see you too."

"Montoya! Have you lost your mind!"

"Maybe I have, but mark my words I WILL get that bitch off the streets for good! No one makes a fool out of me and gets away with it-"

"Even if it means killing her? Your a police officer dammit! Your mission is to protect and serve...not kill!" the realization came to Courtney, and she hung her head "Your right.-[click]" she found handcuffs on her wrists

"I know I am."

. . . . . . . . . . .

"Has the jury reached a verdict?" the judge asked

"We have your honor, we find both defendants, guilty as charged."

"Very well, Miss Kyle, for the crime of attempted grand larceny, and escaping from a federal institution, I have no choice but to add another 10 years to your sentence.-[slam]"

"Joy." she rolled her eyes.

"HA!" Courtney laughed

"As for you Detective Montoya, to get your anger under control I sentence you to 6 months in Arkham Asylum, so you can be properly rehabilitated before redoing the force-[slam]"

"WHAT! NO!" Gil and Cheff were both in court attendance

"Well, looks like you'll need a temp partner...me." Gil smiled, Chef slammed his head on the chair.

At Arkham, Courtney sat in the rec room, arms crossed, wearing the same striped uniform as everyone else. She tried to avoid all the moves Duncan tried to bust on her.

"So Princess, what brings you to our lonely and psycho neck of the woods?"

"Go suck your head Joker." she said without even looking at him

"Oh well that was just rude, come on, I'm single now, don't play me like that, at least you won't try and kill me!" he looked over at Lindsay and Izzy playing some Mahjong.

"Eat a dick." she said dryly.

"Up yours bitch! So anyway Princess-"

"Call me Princess one more time, ad I swear-SWEAR I'll shove my hand down your throat and pull out your vocal cords."

"Believe me, princess-ha-ha-ha-ha, many have tried, none have succeeded, and besides, I'm sure you want to get out of this dump in 6 months...killing me would surely diminish that." he walked away. Harleen walked in carrying a device with Dr. Bartholomew

"Good news everyone, Dr. Bartholomew finally fixed the karaoke machine!"

"Yup, I actually ran out out of super glue and had to use duct tape!"

"Oh happy day!" Ferris stood up "Come on Harl, join me in some Journey?"

"You know it Mistah G!"

"This little ditty is dedicated to Detective Courtney Montoya, let your stay here at Arkham Asylum be fruitful, and enjoyable." she flipped them the bird, Gwen then sat next to her, and locked her left arm, Courtney rolled her eyes

"So, isn't this ironic, you tried to lock me up...but instead your locked up with me." she smirked

"I hate you...so...much." she whispered through her teeth.

"Oh, but I haven't even told you the best part." she whispered in her ear "Were short on cells, so I was so nice to ask Carlo if you could bunk with me, and he said yes." Courtney's face went pale. "I think were gonna get to know each other...quite well-hmm-hmm-hmm." she chuckled

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

. . .

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Chef yelled while being on patrol with Gil, also singing Journey

"Aw come on Harv, this ones a classic! Sing it with me! ...I see them in a smokey room...smell of wine and cheap perfume...for a smile they can share the night, it goes on-and on-and on-and on-"

**The End...**

**Alrighty then, Penguin, and Boyle up next...Bet you didn't expect this ending did ya? Didn't think so! Remember, give me those questions PLEASE!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Detective Courtney Montoya

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Night Hacker

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Gwen Kyle/Catwoman

**Rob Paulsen: **Vice Commissioner Gil Mason, Bostonian

**Frank Welker: **Mr. Fluffles, Dr. Bartholomew

**Mark Hamill: **Ferris Boyle, various

**Steve Blum: **Snarky Officer, Additional Voices

**E. G. Daily: **little girl

**Tim Curry: **Bostonian, Various

**Lori Alan: **Various people

**John DiMaggio: **The Judge

**Drew Nelson: **Duncan Napier

**Arleen Sorkin: **Harleen Quinzel

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Lindsay Quinzel


	203. Birds of Prey, Part I

**Villain(s): Penguin, The Greed Goblin**

**Episode Archive: MY FANNY HURTS!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Curt Geda**

**Teleplay By: Steve Perry**

**Art Direction: Shayne Poindexter&Eric Radomski**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 99: Birds of Prey**

Twas late evening at the Gotham natural history museum...THE place where you can be bored to tears, and only $9.97 for admission! Two guards did their nightly thing.

"Let's see, what do we have here. Old Indian spears?"

"Check?"

"Old rocks."

"Fossils."

"Whatever, check."

"Mayor Hill?"

"Che-"

"Mayor Hill!" they shined their lights at the mayor

"Evening gentlemen."

"What are you doing here sir?"

"I was just in a meeting with a curator, thought I'd see what all the fuss was about at this place."

"Oh well, you certainly came to the right place sir."

"Yeah."

"Well good. Show me around will ya?"

"Yes sir!"

"Sure thing sir."

In the nearby exhibit with all the shiny things, someone was about to pilfer something really exotic, and really shiny...this person flew on a purple wing and who am I kidding that just gave it away.

"Ah yes, the gilded, golden encrusted, diamond studded pippin. Ha-ha-ha, it's be pathetic if it weren't worth so much money, oh well, time to larcen-larc-larceny-lar-Oh hell with it, I'm stealing the damn thing!" Greed looked in his satchel pack to find the perfect item in which to carefully lift the priceless penguin related artifact from it's glass.

"Alrighty then, let's see now, security alarm destabilizer, circular glass cutter, gloves-ah, here it is, my old friend the hammer, nothing can go wrong with this." he raised the hammer, an smashed

[Ding-aling-aling-aling-aling]"

"The alarm!" the guards yelled

"It came from the jewels exhibits!" Ham added

"We'll find out the cause sir!" they ran towards the origin of the alarm "You're gonna have to stay out Mr. Mayor, it's for your own good!"

"Stay put? Not likely." he ran for a place to change, while upstairs, someone was listening in on the conversation. They moved into position.

And now back to Greed about to filch the statuette valued at...a lot.

"Okay, now to just pick the damn thing up uninterrupted-"

"Freeze!"

"Oh cripes!"

"Don't move Goblin!" the guards yelled behind him.

"Well, fellas, fellas, they sure make you rent-a-cops some kind of ballsey these days."

"You know it!" they got closer

"Yes, sad thing is, your still just as clumsy!" he took two small smoke bombs from the satchel and threw them at the ground, the guards fell to their knees, coughing up the smoke.

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! That's the quality that is Gothcorp engineering! Gothcorp: The People Company." he grabbed the statuette and flew, very acrobatically to the balconies of the second floor, whizzing passed the hallway.

"Wa-hoo! Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha! HA! Too easy!" he turned his head forward long enough to see himself get f*ckin' Clotheslined! "Huh-ah-[thud]-oof!" Greed fell off the wing and hit the floor, his wing flying until it hit the fall some several feet away. He looked up.

"Boyle, pleasant surprise."

"Gasp! V-Bat!" That's right! It's a regular old fashioned Kevin Conroy vs Mark Hamill! Anyway Greed staggered to his feet

"Humph, and they say I'm crazy-sigh, and here I thought this was gonna be an easy score! Shame on me for thinking positive."

"You better work on your puns Boyle, I can smell your pompousness from here!"

"You sure it's not the new cologne? Sniff-sniff-erg, nope, definitely not the cologne."

"Drop the statue Goblin! Before I make you clean up your act, along with your cheap cologne!"

"Was that supposed to be funny? Or is your advanced age finally getting to you grandpa-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah! Well, since you want the damn thing so bad, here!"

"Gasp!"

"Take it!" he threw the statue in the air, V-Bat went for the grab, only to be bull dozed by Greed. Who caught the statuette. "Ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Erg, oldest, damned trick in the freaking book." V-Bat complained. He stood up, and the figure from earlier stood above them both, atop another exhibit.

"Tsk-tsk-tsk, amateurs. Why in my day these fights were quite cut and dry, not all this banter nonsense." he said in a thick British/German accent.

"Who the hell are you?" V-Bat asked

"The last remaining of the Birds of Prey, I'm Phoenix!"

The guy wore what seemed to be combat fatigues, combat boots, a black leather jacket above a silver collared shirt, and the mask of a phoenix.

"Oh great, just what this town needs, another kook in a costume-humph, it's bad enough Arkham is overcrowding!" Greed added "Oh well, I'll just have to get rid of the both of you." he took out one of his unique guns, but before V-Bat could Batarang it away, Phoenix was all over that sh*t! He lunged at Greed, knocking him on his ass and sliding him across the floor.

"Hmm, impressive." V-Bat nodded putting his weapon away

"Thank you." Phoenix turned back over to Greed "Now then, where were...we?" he had disappeared, and a Goblin Bomb was in his place, 5 seconds remaining. "Oh dear."

"Phoenix! Get out of there!"

"No need, I'll be fine, I just hope you know this won't be the last time we meet-[ka-boom]" he disappeared as the bomb exploded

"What the...how did he do that?"

Twas the next morning at Wayne Manor, Ham was explaining to Trent what went on the previous night.

"I'm telling you Trent, it was the weirdest situation I've ever been in, and you've seen my rogues gallery you understand!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha, I get the deal with Boyle...but the penguin statuette, and this new guy calling himself the Phoenix? Get real dude."

"I'm serious Trent, there's something not right going on here."

"Oh I'm so sure. Look, we should investigate there tonight to see if we can't think up of any clues."

"Good idea, Chris just got back this morning from his vacation, he'll probably be spearheading everything."

"Then it's settled, we'll go to-"

"Zzzzzzzzz." they walked in the living room to see Alfred passed out on the couch.

"Alfred?"

"Zzzzzzzzz."

"Alfred?" Trent asked again "ALFRED!"

"Zzz-zzz-zzz-huh, ahem, yes sir?" he asked waking up

"Alfred, it's 11:30, are you just waking up?" Trent asked in disbelief

"Oh, I'm-[yawn]-terribly sorry sir, I was on a date late last night with Rachel, things got pretty steamy if you catch my drift, anyway I got back early this morning, and I must have fallen asleep, I'm sorry sir it won't happen again." he said cracking his back

"It's alright Alfred you are entitled to a life...hmm, I guess I should have figured this would happen eventually with you dating and all." Trent smiled

"Yes of course sir. Well if you gentlemen will excuse me, I have stuff to do."

"Alright, so tonight we investigate."

"Got it."

Twas later that night...an am I saying twas a lot, but Chris and the CSI team were investigating the crime scene, Chris was examining a piece of broken glass, while the two bats hovered above him.

"Yup, a piss poor hasty job, this has Boyle written all over it." he stood up and turned to the bat duo "But why steal a penguin artifact, that's not his MO at all."

"Simple, Boyle loves money, he's probably fencing it, knowing him he's probably got a buyer lined up already."

"And how much do you wanna bet that buyer is none other than Gotham's trendiest restauranteur?" Batman asked snugly

"Penguin."

"But the Penguin's at Arkham, Carlo said he hasn't budged since he got there." Chris added.

"And we can't prove that it is Penguin who wants the statuette." V-Bat added

"True...but I know how we can milk him for information."

"How Batman?" Chris asked

"An informant on the inside."

"But who do we know inside Arkham who would be willing to cooperate?" The Commissioner asked perplexed.

"Trust me...I know just the girl."

"Well while you stand there getting vaguer by the second, I gotta look for Montoya...she didn't show up for work today." he said walking elsewhere

"You didn't tell him?" V-Bat asked

"He's a big boy Ham, he'll figure it out, in the meantime, let's go see how shes doing."

Over at the visiting room at Arkham, Courtney sat at the table and waited for her visitors, and rolled her eyes when she found out who they were.

"Oh, shoot me." she said

"Evening Inmate Montoya."

"Go suck your head V-Bat."

"Courtney, I'm sure your aware this wasn't a leisurely visit." Batman continued

"With you? Perish the thought."

"Anyway, we need your help?"

"My help? You lock me in here, and you expect me to help you?"

"It's police work." he said getting enticing

"Detective police work." V-Bat added

"Hmm, I'm in."

"Good." Batman got out the equipment "Just your standard Wiretap, I need you to grill Penguin as to his connections to Greed Goblin and the theft of a priceless pippin statuette."

"Piece of cake. All Pengers does is sit in the rec room anyway." she said setting up the wire.

"Good, Night-hacker will be on the computer listening in on your conversations."

"Alright then."

"So, how you doing otherwise?"

"Not too bad, except I have to share a cell with Gwen, believe me, the way the two of us think about each other, neither one of us has gotten an incredible amount of sleep."

"Well as long as you're okay, I'll check up on you tomorrow." the two got up to leave. The guard walked over to Courtney.

"Let's go Miss Montoya."

Now for the Bat duo outside the asylum going to their respective Batmobile's.

"Where you going?" Batman asked "Night's still young."

"I'm gonna look into this Phoenix guy, there's something about him I think is very familiar."

"Ha-ha, okay you do that."

"I'll call you when I find something."

"Got it."

Inside the Bat-Cave, Alfred headed for the garage containing his Aspen Martin. Night-hacker was at the computer, while Cody and Sara did some sparring

"Where you going Alfred?" Cody asked

"To the store, were out of lemon Pledge."

"But didn't you just buy some?" Sara asked

"Believe me, we go through Pledge in this house like some go through water, I'll be back later, oh and Master Geoffrey."

"Yeah?"

"Later when your finished on the computer, might I have a go?"

"Of course."

"Marvelous."

And over to Boyle's rented apartment, he was on a business call with Penguin who called him from the asylum

"_Did you get it?"_

"Of course I got it, I'm no amateur."

"_Really? No joke?"_

"Seriously I'm looking at it right now, it is in my hands."

"_Aw, whew, excellent, how soon an you sneak it into Arkham for me?"_

"Oh gee I dunno, I guess however soon you can sneak me my pay."

"_I got your money Boyle don't yo worry, I hid it inside of Arkham."_

"Which means I have to come get it, just great! I'll be over there tomorrow, we are meeting at the-"

"_Yes of course. Just make sure it ain't broken."_

"Oh without question, that would be a deal breaker, relax Owen, it's in good han-[ker-slam]"

"Knock-knock Boyle!" Phoenix barged in.

"...Yeah, I'm gonna have to call you back."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	204. Birds of Prey, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"So Mr...Mr...Mr...I'm sorry I seem to know more freaks in costumes than people these days, which one were you again?"

"Phoenix, the last of the Bird's of Prey."

"Well you named the episode in the episode, so it must be important. BUT, I can assure you, this little ditty, is mine." Greed said holding up the statuette "Well not mine really, just until I can slip it in Penguin's shtuff that is. He's been dying for this thing you know, arranged this whole setup and everything so he couldn't be implicated, and I should hope he's paying me handsomely...or they'll be problems-BIG problems."

"Good."

"Good? Yeah good for me-what's in it for you? You know you seem to be new to this whole super hero, supervillain thing, so I'll walk you through it." he casually took out a smoke bomb

"I can assure you, I'm no amateur."

"Could've fooled me, but here's how these things go down. We exchange witty banter, I say things, you rebuttal to the things I say, I tell you the evil scheme...and then...this happens!" he threw the bomb

"Gasp!" it exploded before Phoenix could getaway in time.

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Syonara! Sucker! Aha-ha-ha-ha!" Greed jumped out his window, where below coincidentally was an offset roof awning, he rolled down towards the edge.

"Erg!" Phoenix, a little disoriented ran to the window to see Greed rolling towards the end of the roof

"See ya loser! Whoaaaaaaa!" he fell off to the next roof below across the street.

"Two can play this game Goblin!" he jumped after him and literally surfed down the roof.

"Whoa, this guys good-maybe too good." he activated his wing and started to take flight "Run-run as fast as you can! You won't catch me I'm the-gah!"

In the midst of Boyle being Boyle he raised up to the previous roof where Phoenix had jumped, he grabbed onto the wing.

"What!"

"Whose laughing now Boyle!"

"Still me you impertinent whelp!" he flew a little higher

"Whoa-whoooooooa!"

"Still over confident now Phoenix? Or whatever your name is! Ha-ha, let's see how much altitude you can take hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

"My word! High high are we?"

"Higher than stoned teenagers on 4/20 Aha-ha-ha-ha!"

Not far away, Robin and Exterminator saw them in the near distance from another building

"Well now I'd say that was a pretty productive evening." Sara yawned

"I agree, busy night, 4 bank robberies, 12 muggings, 2 home invasions, and a staggering 6 cats stuck in trees."

"Long night." she starred off into the night on the edge of the building, Cody hugged her pssionately from behind "Tee-hee." she giggled

"Whatcha starring at."

"Well, if I'm not mistaken, it looks like Greed Goblin, with someone in a Phoenix mask ."

"Phoenix mask?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, I see him too, I remember the old man telling something like that, but I didn't think it was true."

"Well, one thing's for sure, time to clip Boyle's wings." she took out a batarang "Check how bitching my aim is Codykins!" she launched it, and it did get caught on the wing, stalling the engine.

"What!"

"We've stalled!"

"No kidding...oh jeez, yup, were going down alright-Brace-for-IMPACT!" they hit the roof hard, Boyle clinched onto the statuette.

"Whew...almost lost my sure thing!"

"You're gonna get a sure thing alright Boyle!" Phoenix groused standing up "Straight to Arkham."

"Actually that's where I'm headed!" he turned his head to see Robin and Ex pursuing "Oh great, the sidekick patrol, well crazy it's been a hoot, but I really must be going, ta-ta, and work on that form will ya? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" he threw down a smoke pellet, and disappeared.

"Erg...this would never have happened in my day-"

"Hey!"

"It is him! The Phoenix guy!"

"He's real."

"I am real, but I'm afraid I must take my leave as well, I suggest if you wanna help me catch the Greed Goblin and the Penguin, you show up at Arkham. I'll join you." he turned to leave.

"Wait a minute, help you!" Ex grabbed his right arm "You're not getting off that easy bub, what's your deal?"

"Yeah, we got enough vigilantes around as it is." Robin added

"It's a temp thing I assure you both."

"Your not leaving until you tell us who you are Phoenix." Ex insisted

"Oh you may not know who I am...but I know who you both are, see you around, Sara and Cody."

"Gasp!"

"Double Gasp!"

"Uh...uh...w-w-who are these names of which you speak of?" Robin asked nervously

"Yes, we've never heard of Cody Drake and Sara Pennyworth." she added even more sheepish.

"I never said your surnames, now did I?"

"DAMMIT!"

"Ex!"

"Sorry, but he-gasp!" she turned back around to discover he was gone. "Double dammit!"

"Never mind him, he clearly wants to help, tomorrow, we gotta get to Arkham Asylum, and stop Boyle from...whatever he's doing."

"I agree."

The next day at Arkham, Courtney was in the cafeteria, she was gonna try and milk Owen for information. He was by the phones, waiting for someone to call.

"Okay...you've done this before Montoya...except now you have no back-up...no Batman...and he's a big dude, should be easy." she sighed and walked over "Hey Owen-"

"GAH!" he jumped "Oh...Montoya...what do you want?"

"Nothing...uh-just heard, this pippin statuette was stolen."

"Gasp...you mean the rare gilded, golden diamond encrusted pippin?"

"Yes."

"Never heard of it."

"Oh...are you sure?"

"Yes, now leave me I'm expecting a very important phone call."

"Alrighty then." she slowly turned to leave. "But if you were to-"

"Amscray you crow!"

"Humph, fine then." suddenly the phone rang

"Yes, hello?"

"_I'm here, let's make it quick."_

"Right, I'll be right there." Owen quickly headed out of the cafeteria

"Hmm-gah." she suddenly felt a sharp pain on her butt

"Hey cell mate." it was Gwen.

"Not you...not you."

"So, since I really think you're not fitting in around here, I think you need to have a little lunch with the girls."

"Oh, no Gwen, that's perfectly okay-"

"Oh, but I insist." she pulled Courtney to her table, and forced her to sit down. With all of Gotham's worst female criminals. "Hey girls, Courtney wanted to join us for lunch."

"I hate you...so...much."

And now briefly over to the Bat-Cave.

"Well, the Phoenix guy says Arkham, and now Cobblepot is getting suspicious." Night-hacker explained from listening in.

"Well then looks like were going to Arkham." Trent shrugged

"Now wait a second, what about the Phoenix?" Sara asked

"I got Ham looking into it, I'll tell him to meet us there."

"Zzzzzzzzzz."

"Huh?" he noticed Alfred standing in the middle of the Bat-Cave, snoring

"Alfred?"

"Zzz-huh-oh terribly sorry Master Trent, I guess I dozed off again."

"I've noticed, you've been doing that a lot lately."

"So sorry sir, I'll uh, try and get some rest."

"Right, alright you two, suit up."

"Have fun guys, I'm gonna sit back and listen in on Courtney's crazy conversations with the girls." Night-hacker leaned back smiling.

The three dashed over to Arkham Asylum, where V-Bat was already waiting for them.

"Ah, we were hoping you'd be here."

"I found him, and I must say I was startled at what I saw."

"Why?" V-Bat held up a photo.

"Who are these people?" Batman asked, each was dressed like Phoenix, and each wore a bird mask. Phoenix was there too.

"The Birds of Prey were a paramilitary secret agency, they were a smosh of the elite of MI6 and the SAS."

"The English?" Batman asked

"Yes, they were active from 1960 to about 1997 when the Troubles ended in Belfast. Phoenix is in the picture, recognize any names?"

"...Oh my God."

"Yup."

"Come on, let's go get em."

Inside the seemingly empty laundry room, Owen waited for Greed.

"Ferris...Ferris...Greed...Gr-"

"I'm right here Pengers quit whispering." Greed came from the darkness.

"You got it?"

"Unharmed." he took out the statuette

"Oh how wonderful, it's positively marvelous."

"You do not know what I had to go through to get this damn thing here today, you really don't."

"I don't care-gimme-gimme-gimme!" Greed quickly pulled it away

"Ah-ta-ta-ta-ta...my pay."

"Oh yes, right-right-right." Owen got a laundry cart with a sheet over it, he pulled it off, filled to the brim it was with cash.

"Gaaaaaaaaaasp!"

"10 mill."

"Yeah it is!" Greed looked at it lovingly "And worth all the crap I went through, hre you are." he handed Penguin the statuette.

"Finally, I'm keeping this with me, so I can enjoy it whenever."

"Yeah sure, whatever, I'm gonna enjoy my money-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha."

"And I will enjoy my statue...thank you Ferris."

"Sure-sure whatever."

"No really, this is the greatest-OOF!"

"Gasp! YOU!"

Phoenix had landed right on Owen he took the statuette.

"Erg-pain." Owen complained as the handcuffs hit his wrists.

"I'm sure the guards will love to hear this story, as for you Boyle-crud." in the midst of Phoenix's ranting, he didn't see Greed surf away on his money cart. "Get back here!"

"Catch me if you can Phoenix!"

"Believe me I will!"

Greed darted through the asylum dodging guards, and all that stuff in order to escape.

"S'cuse me, one side, coming through, move it or lose it! Hey Crane, hows it going?"

"Get back here!"

"Not a chance Phoenix-oh!" he saw Phoenix was skateboarding towards him on his boots, which transformed to skates...how cool is that?

"Not bad, not bad at all, but let's see if you can handle-OOF!" the cart immediately stopped, and Greed went flying, right into the guards. "Gasp...dammit!"

It was Batman who stopped him, the team was all right there.

"I think this is enough proof for you both." he told them.

"And here you are Batman, it's the statue." Phoenix tossed it to him.

"Wait-wait, hang on-"

"So sorry Batman, but I really must be going-"

"Wait! Not yet."

"Not to worry, I'm sure we'll meet again real soon!" he disappeared.

"I'm sure we will."

"I'll wrap thing's up here." V-Bat added.

Back at home...

"Alfred? ALFRED!"

"Upstairs Master Trent."

"There you are."

"When were you gonna tell us you were the Phoenix?" Sara asked

"Well I thought I dropped you several good hints...and I figured you all could use some help on this one."

"Alfred...you did good...but please, don't do it again." Trent sighed

"Yeah please man." Cody added

"Alright."

"Whew. Thank goodness." Alfred started to walk away

"But, why did you do it Alfred, I know we needed help...but why go back to the super hero thing?" Trent asked

"Easy sir...all the cool kids are doing it."

**The End...**

**Alright, the hundredth episode special is up next, BUT FIRST-a little surprise...enjoy, and if you are asking my a question, please send it to me in the form of a PM...stay tuned**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill/V-Bat

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Emilie Claire Barlow: **Courtney Montoya

**Peter Oldring: **Cody drake/Robin

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Pennyworth/Exterminator

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Night-hacker

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Mark Hamill: **Ferris Boyle/The Greed Goblin

**Scott McCord: **Owen Cobblepot

**Michael York: **The Phoenix

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Gwen Kyle

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Guard, Additional Voices

**Phil LaMarr: **Guard, Additional Voices


	205. Too GRUESOME For TV, Part I

**Villain: Dr. Mystico (Special Guest Appearance)**

**Episode Archive: FREAK OUT!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri&Bruce Timm**

**Teleplay By: Paul Rugg&John P. McCann&Paul Dini**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami&Ronnie Del Carmen**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 62: Deep Sea Terror**

…

Hi there, this is uh...this is just a recording-ahem, you guys may recognize me my name is Kevin Altieri, I am a director here at TDB, I actually co-directed this episode along with Bruce Timm, Bruce uh, couldn't be here right now as he is right next door, they are recording the big 100th episode special as we speak. Uh, the reason I'm here is, you may or may not have realized by now that until now, were actually not at 100 episodes for TDB but rather 99. This is the secret Nick Durdan did want unveiled as it were. The intention was to put this version on the DVD. This is actually is the 62nd episode that we were supposed to keep shelved and hope everyone would forget about it, well; needless to say a lot of you did not. Well I certainly couldn't keep up with the lie.

I'll try not to prattle on here, first of all, this is a full crossover with Freakazoid! Something we really wanted to do, but certain mishaps prevented us. For example, there's no lie this is and will be the darkest and most gruesome episode in the entire series. The network originally said it was actually too graphic when we had originally given the tape and they said we had to do some serious editing, by the time it was done, Nick hated the edited version so much we just shelved it and uh...well, myself, and many others edited it again, it BARELY made it passed the censors, and it is as gruesome as we can get for a teenage-young adult cartoon. Uh, this is most certainly not for the faint of heart, I hope you enjoy, and uh, get ready for the official 100th episode.

[cue title card]

. . .

"Day number 173, still under water, in search of the lost crew sent to help disable this situation said to be in an abandoned underwater government facility, so hungry...need...water...no sleep in days...but we just keep fighting, fighting so that-"

"Cody!"

"Knock that sh*t off, it's getting old." Batman complained

"Well, sorry." he added "You try adding some pizazz to this lame ass search and rescue mission."

"Any rescue isn't lame-ass squirt." Batgirl added

"Batgirl's right, this crew that disappeared from Washington didn't just happen accidentally, I think whatever they found in this old facility." Batman squinted

"And by the way, we've only been traveling for about an hour, I got our coordinates locked."

The Bat team was inside the Bat-boat, er-the bat sub as it were.

"Who was this team Washington sent anyway?" Nightwing asked

"I dunno, but if our nations government sent them they must be the crème de la crème." NOT!

"You woke me up for this mission, tell the audience what it's about will ya? I forgot." Robin asked

"Sure, last week this old underwater R&D facility with the government suddenly acted up. The place had been disbanded since the end of the Cold War. The NSA sent a team in a day or so ago to check it out, they haven't heard from them since." Batman turned away from the camera.

"Ugh, but we've under water for forever, I'm bored." Robin complained

"He's got a point, how much longer Trent?" Batgirl asked

"Yeah, and where is this place anyhow?" Nightwing asked

"Sandwiched in the middle of Block Island Sound, between Rhode Island and Long Island...and it looks like...were here."

"Whoa."

"Cooleo."

"Radical."

"It is a thing of beauty, isn't it." Batman noticed

The facility was anchored to the sea floor, perhaps 200 feet below sea level, it was two stories high and 5 football fields wide. It was in two square parts, connected by two glass bridges. The place seemed old, but intact.

"Alright, there should be a dry dock hanger on the southern end of the first building...which according to this map is the New York side." The Boat moved for the indoor dock of the facility.

BUT...in his office inside the facility, a well dressed man, with evil facial hair, stroking his white pet cat watch the monitors to see their arrival. No it's not Dr. Claw, but rather Dr. Mystico. Who speaks in a very distinctive English accent.

"So...they sent the Batman in to get me did they, nyah-hah-hah-hah-hah." he laughed "Well this day just got far more fantastic." he turned around in his chair and we see something large and black at the other end of the room. "I could use more test subjects-Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

The dock inside was basically a pool, assessable from the outside, the team docked, the place seemed dark, their flashlights lit the way, eventually they came to a crossroads. With a convenient You Are Here map.

"Okay were here...the command center is over here...and Belgium is somewhere over here...I guess we go to the command center." Batman suggested "We can get in contact with the Commissioner and the NSA handler from there."

"Good call."

They started down the hallway with Robin bringing up the rear. He got too far behind- and cue the dramatic music for what was behind him. WHICH suddenly grabbed the Boy Wonder by the mouth and head and dragged him back down the hallway.

"Mmm-MMMMM-Mhmnmhmnmhmm!" Everyone turned around

"Robin?"

"Robin?"

"Yo Robs?"

"Robin...Robin...ROBIN!"

"He's...he's gone."

"Just like that."

"I'll find him, you two just go to the command-"

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha—ha-ha-ha-Aha-ha-ha...haaaa.."

"-Center."

"What the FUCK was that?" Nightwing asked

"Well I think it's clear the Washington Crew didn't just disappear on their own...Kids, I gotta feeling were not alone on this thing."

CRUNCH-SMASH

"What the?"

"You hear that?"

"Yeah, come on!" they ran back to the dock to see

"Gasp! The Bat Boat!" they ran to see their only transport smashed to pieces

"But that was-"

"Our only way back."

"Okay...oaky it's official-ha-ha I am FREAKING OUT!" Nightwing yelled

"Nightwing! -[slap]-get a hold of yourself!"

"Okay ow."

"Look, I'll find Robin, you two go find the command center and see if you can't get in contact with Gordon or anyone else who can help us...and remind me to call Lucius as we need another Bat Boat."

"But-"

"Batman-"

"I'll be fine. Just stay safe, I'll see if I can't keep in contact with you." he started away

"Gulp." Batgirl gulped "I don't like this place."

"Me neither babe...me neither."

. ….. .. . . ..

"Whoa-hey-whoa-ow-dammit-HEY!"

The thing dragged Robin by the legs to it's lair. The smell of dead flesh was most certainly in the air. As Robin was being dragged into a large room, he noticed the floor was littered with dead, decaying, bloody and in many cases, decapitated bodies about. Then he was brought to the large office room.

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-Aha-ha-ha-ha!" he heard the laughter.

"Oh...My...GOD!"

"Good evening Boy Blunder." the man with the cat came into view.

"Who-who are you?"

"The names Dr. Mystico." he said

"Okay...f-f-f-fantastic-s-s-so you wouldn't happen to know where another group of people who were here a few days ago would be...gulp...would ya?"

"Oh, you mean like, these people!" the lights turned on.

Chained to the wall were 5 people, each wearing a scuba suit. The first guy had light blue skin, and lightning dark streaked hair, the next, chubby, older, gruff looking, the third, a girl, perky, blonde hair almost like Bridgette's, the fourth, a shorter man, possibly Scottish, and the last, a British looking gentleman, who was cowering.

"Ten chubby angels with big fat wings, too heavy to fly they crash into things." the first guy said weakly.

"Robin, allow me to introduce to you some old...acquaintances of mine, Feakazoid! Inspector Cosgrove, Steff, Roddy MacStew, and this cowering gentleman is Professor Jones."

"Oh please I pray you, let me gooooo, pleeeeease!" Jones begged

"Oh, you're Freakazoid, dude I watch your show all the time."

"Why thank you young one, I'd shake your hand...but it's gone numb." he sighed

"What do you want with us anyway Mystico?" Cosgrove asked

"Good question, notice the tentacles bounding Robin right now?"

"Yeah."

"Now look to your left."

"What I don't see any-"

"COLLECTIVE GASP!"

What they saw was a large mutated octopus with more than his fair share of tentacles, they were also far longer than any average sized octopus's tentacles.

"What is your game Mystico? You kidnapped us for some cruddy Octo?" Roddy complained

"Why no...Freakazoid, do you recall my last debacle with my awesome Orangumen?" he asked the crazy superhero

"Yeah, I swear we were nominated for an Emmy in that episode!"

"No we weren't kid."

"CAN YOU LET ME HAVE ANYTHING!"

"Sure, just not an Emmy."

"Enough!" Mystico yelled "Erg, what I did was combine the DNA of a human with that of an orangutang, and you got the perfect super soldier. So now I moved here, and decided to combine the DNA with Octopus's!"

"Gasp!"

"Oh certainly I got carried away, and he nearly quadrupled in size-hah-hah-hah-hah-ahem, but, he's proven a very good earner, wouldn't you say?"

"So let me guess." Steff began "You wanna make all of us an Octoman too, right?"

"Very good, with all combined DNA's, Freakzoid, Batman, Robin, Nightwing, and more! I shall finally be able to realize my true dream, and take over Cleveland!"

"The world!" everyone corrected

"Yes-yes I meant the world, oh did I say Cleveland Again? I always do that!"

Cutaway to Batgirl and Nightwing who made it to the control room. Which was also littered with bodies.

"Great, this equipment looks busted." she sighed

"Guess were stuck here."

"Not quite, I think I can make this work." she went for the radio "It'll take some time to boot my radio to connect with theirs, but once it's connected we should have some radio contact with the surface."

"Should isn't exactly convincing, considering were down one guy already."

"I'm sure he'll be fine Geoff."

"That's what you think-[crash]-what the?"

"What was that?" he held her close to comfort her while he listened for noise.

"Shh-shh-[rummaging-rummaging]-sounds like some slimy thing moving about the ceiling-[squishy-creaky-rummaging]- I don't like it."

"N-neither do I."

"Look babe, I'll be right outside, seeing whatever it is, stay put okau."

"O-okay." he gently kissed her

"I'll be fine." Nightwing walked away. A few tentacles followed him

Back to Mystico

"Forget it crazy!" Freak snorted

"There's no way were gonna be used for your crazy experiment!" Cosgrove added

"So you can kiss my firm white ass!" Robin added

"Oh...so I guess it's motivation you crave, eh? Well now I got just the thing." he snapped his fingers

Suddenly, several tentacles reached down into the floor, faint screaming was heard, and then it pulled up an actual guy, wearing a lab coat

"No-no please-NOOOOOOO!" it jerked him around a bit "Sorry but I need to make an example of you. Ha-ha-ha-Aha-ha-ha!"

"No-no-no-no-no!" they watched in horror, as the octoman...sloppily, comped on the guy "NOOOOOOOOOO-ach-unh-ugh-mm." nothing but blood and a few limbs remained, eahc person had some residual blood on them. Dr. Mystico wiped a small piece of flesh from his face

"Oh I forgot to mention...he enjoys the taste of human flesh-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	206. Too GRUESOME For TV, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"O-o-o-o-okay message received." Steff cringed, nearly vomiting

"Blaaaaaaaaaah!" Robin actually vomited. "Ung...unh...ooh-buwaaaaaaaaah!"

"Would you be so kind as to refrain from regurgitating your lunch all my floor young Robin?" Mystico asked

"You sick f*ck! I just saw a f*cking huge f*cking octopus-f*cker thing, eat a man! I'll f*cking vomit if I please!"

"Who was that guy anyway?" Cosgrove asked

"My guess is, not very hard working-"

"This isn't the time for jokes kid."

"I know."

"Who was that man anyway?" Roddy asked

"The question is Mr. MacStew, is not who he was, as that no longer matters, but what he did-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah, he was a scientist. There were several who still lived on this base when I took it over. It didn't take much persuading for the rest...to be history."

"You're sick!" Robin yelled

"Yes-yes, we've all been over that, these people over here know it better then anyone else."

"Believe me, this guys NUTS!" Freak yelled

"He's right kid." Cosgrove added.

"Oh shut-up!" Mystico yelled

"G-gaaaaaah!" Suddenly the tentacle grabbing Robin's legs, raised him upside down. Mystico walked over to the boy wonder.

"So, would you like to go first in the glorious transformation?"

"No...not really-really-r-reall-really-"

"Oh beans he's going to blow his chunks again! Duck and cover." Mystico quickly ducked

"No-no-no-no-no-no"

"Blaaaaaaaaaaah!" and all over Jones it went "Oh...ha-ha, sorry Professor."

"..."

"Aw Nut Bunnies, that man goes through more dry cleaning." Freak added

"Oh Fibber-McGee." Jones sighed "Why my." he sobbed "Why is it always me?"

"Poor Jonesy." Steff said compassionately

"Cut the crud Jones, you act as if no ones ever vomited on you before!" Roddy snarled Mystico sat back at his desk, and rubbed his temples where a migraine was setting in.

"I wonder how the other three are doing?" he asked.

Over to Nightwing who had wandered off farther than he thought several tentacles followed him...DUN-DUN...DUN!

"Hmm...hmm." he pondered "Something's very suspicious here...yup, something's definitely not right...THAT'S IT!" oh, there's a brain up there after all "Dammit I left my wallet in the freaking Bat Boat!" There goes that thought "Crap." a call came in through the four way communicator "Go."

"_Find anything?" Batman asked_

"Bothing but the control room, Bridge is there setting up her communication mumbo-jumbo so she can get in contact with the surface."

"_Good, find Cody yet?"_

"Does it look like I found him?"

"_Worth a shot, where are you?"_

"Where are you?"

"_I asked you first."_

"Well I asked you second."

"_One of the lower levels by the power supply."_

"Oh cool, I'm just in an upper corridor." he stopped "Ever get the feeling like somehow, something is following you?"

"_Oh I'm sorry, I don't think we've met before."_

"Ha-ha, I'm serious, were definitely not alone on this rig Batman."

"_I'm aware of that, but until we find out exactly what that is, were not going anywhere. Besides, we can't leave Cody, or the Washington team."_

"Provided they're still alive."

"_Don't talk like that. I'm sure they'll show up, they have to."_

"Are you sure?"

"_I certainly hope so."_

"Yeah that's not vague."

"_Just keep looking Geoff, were bound to find something, I mean, where the f*ck are they gonna go?"_

"Ha-ha, right you are."

"_Of course I am."_

"And modest as always."

"_Look, I'm nearing the power source to this whole facility, maybe that'll shed some light on our situation." _

"Good luck with that, cause by the looks of this place I reckon that wiring's gonna be shot to hell and back and be tangled in webs not even Spidey could get out of."

"_Nothing blind rage, elbow grease, ingenuity, and industrial wire cutters can't fix."_

"Well, good luck on your crusade."

"Good luck on yours."

Nightwing slowly continued down the darkened corridor." the tentacles grew closer.

"Hmm...it seems like...someone...is...FOLLOWING ME!" he turned around to see nothing "Huh...that usually works." he continued walking, and the tentacles followed him "AHA-huh..." and then he tried again...a few more feet, then- "AHA!" again, no use. "Okay, if this is a joke you guys, it isn-gkgkgkhkk-funny!" the tentacles swooped down from above, and grabbed Nightwing

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Cutaway to Batgirl who was resting on one of the chairs with her feet up on one of the consoles. When suddenly, she heard a slight groaning noise.

"Huh?" she turned around "That was weird." then, more groaning. "Hmm." she slowly got off of her chair, and approached a boarded up, but open doorway, where she heard the noise. Inside seemed to be another darkened hallway.

"N-n-n-n-ightwing...B-B-B-Batman...R-Robin..." she peered through the slits between the wooden boards. "Alright you guys, if this is some sort of joke it really isn't-[craksh-]-

-Scream-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" What you just heard was Scream-o-vision, hope you enjoyed

The tentacles surprised Batgirl, and broke through the door. She was quick to back away. She fell backwards on the floor and drew a Batarang, scurrying back as best she could from the approaching tentacles.

"W-w-w-w-what! Giant tentacles? WHAT IS GOING ON!" she yelled

Standing up she launched the batarang at one of the tentacles, breaking it, more broke through from the wall behind her, grabbing her.

"No! What the! No-No-No-NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Meanwhile, Batman was a floor underneath Mystico's office in the power room. He looked for some sort of power switch to shed some more light on the subject. But he could definitely hear noise above him.

"Hmm, I wonder if...no, this switch is corroded, dammit." he looked up at the ceiling which was a mesh cage like the floor below, Batman jumped at what he saw

"GAH!" he jumped, directly inside the ceiling was another scientist, the last one, a little bloody, and clinging to the floor above

"Please...he-help me." the floor broke from above, and a tentacle grabbed him

"AHHHH! HELP! ME-g-h-n-h-m-h-nmhmnm." he heard more screaming from above. Suddenly, blood dripped down, as did the remains of his left arm

"Gasp!" Batman watched "Oh my...G-g-g-blaaaaaaaaaaah! -[retches-retches]-AW!" suddenly more tentacles joined him

"WHAT THE!"

. . . . . . .

"My my, it appears my tentacles have found Batman-nyah-nyah-nyah-byah!" he chuckled as the more tentacles pulled in Batgirl and Nightwing

"Whoa!"

"Hey!" it strung them up near Robin

"Hey guys."

"Batgirl."

"Yeah?"

"Found Robin."

"Oh, good one...and it looks like we found the kook responsible for all of this." she saw Dr. Mystico eating something

"Ah yes, Batgirl and Nightwing, are you both hungry? I've made a casserole-"

"NO!" everyone else yelled

"Don't eat the casserole!" Cosgrove begged

"Trust us!"

"And make sure there aren't any drinks with it either." Roddy added

"Will someone please get this vomit off my shirt!" Freakazoid then WALKED next to Cosgrove

"Hey Cosgrove."

"Hey kid, where were you?"

"Oh I had to take a trip to the little scuba diver's room."

"So...you're free?"

"Yeah why?"

"Ugh, Freakazoid!"

"What-oh...now I get it...you gotta go too Cosgrove-"

"Never mind, just get us out of this!"

"Right-right."

Freakazoid quickly undid everyone's chains and such while Mystico went on some kind of wild rant

"Oh bless you Freakazoid, and you will most certainly be getting a dry cleaning bill this time."

"Good work lad, now we just have to get the sidekicks free, find Batman and we can go." Roddy added

"How hard can it be?" Steff shrugged

"Should we...should we tickle them?" Cosgrove asked

"Don't be silly you ninny, there are far more logical and-"

"TICKLE!" Freak dashed over and tickled them free. "coochee-coo-coochee-coo!"

The tentacles eventually let the kids free without Mystico noticing

"Oof."

"Aaiee."

"Ouch." they stood up, Freak in their face

"Hi friends!"

"Freakazoid?" Batgirl asked

"Ha, and you said they wouldn't remember me."

"Hey, I'd hate to break up the reunion party, be got to find Batman and get the crud out of here." Roddy whispered

"Good idea."

"I know Mystico has an escape sub in hanger H, it's not far, and I think we can all fit."

"Let's give it a try."

"HEY!" finally he notices "Oh no, not again! No one makes a fool out of me twice and gets away with it-uh-uh, no sir, no way-NO-huh?" he saw they had dashed out "Oh sh*t, I've ranted yet again, GET THEM!" he ordered the octo, whose tentacles stretched out into the hallway

"Quickly!"

"He's gaining!"

"Run away!"

"Run for your lives!"

. . .

"Yes! That's it, run away!" it's brilliant-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah!" he laughed, then found himself punched by-

"Gasp! Batman!"

"Your game is over Mystico!" he grabbed him by the collar, the doctor was pressed against the window. "I'm taking your crazy ass down."

"Oh sure...but you'll have to stop me!" he raised his fist in a back swing, which hit the glass, causing it to crack

"Ow, that hurt!"

"Uh, we got bigger problems now! Look!" Mystico turned around to see the crack get bigger "Oh dear."

"RUN!" he dropped the doctor, and they sprinted out, as the glass exploded, water rushed in by th bucket loads. Which picked them up, washing the octopus away, taking Mystico with it

"Mystico, grab my-[thonk]" Batman hit a pipe when the water picked him up, konking him out

"No! CURSE YOU BATMAN!"

Everyone eventually made it to the sub.

"Do we have everyone?" Freak asked

"Were still missing Bat-[thonk]-...never mind!" a rush of water beamed him into the sub.

"Quickly kid, get us out of here!" Cosgrove ordered

"Can do!" Freakazoid drove the sub away, as the base crumbled...the octopus was never seen again

"Well, this was effective." Batgirl sighed, tending to Batman.

"We should really do this again some time, huh?" Roddy suggested

"Hopefully...under...more-less, cannibalistic circumstances." everyone shared a creepy and sheepish laugh,then Cosgrove says

"I don't get it?"

"Will someone please help me get the vomit out of my shirt!"

**The End...?**

**Thanks for putting up this guys, get ready for the 100th, coming up next!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Nightwing

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Paul Rugg: **Freakazoid!

**Tim Curry: **Dr. Mystico, Scientist #1

**Ed Asner: **Sgt. Mike Cosgrove

**Tracey Rowe: **Steff

**Craig Ferguson: **Roddy MacStew

**Jess Harnell: **Professor Jones

**Frank Welker: **Octoman, Scientist #2

**And let's give a big amen to the original professor Jones**

**Johnathon Harris (1914-2002) R.I.P.**

**Also, God bless MCA Adam Yauch (1964-2012) NO SLEEP TIL! **


	207. The TDB 100th Episode Special! Part I

Me: Hello I'm Nick Durdan, Creator, Executive producer, and I wrote every episode on the show.

Bruce: Hi there, Bruce Timm, Executive Producer, Art director, and Director.

Eric: Eric Radomski, Executive Producer, Story Editor, part time storyboard director, and a director as well.

Alan: Hello everyone, My name is Alan Burnett, I'm an Executive Producer, Story Editor, and Director.

Paul: What's happening guys? Paul Dini here, Executive Producer, and Executive Story Editor

Glen: Uh, hey there, uh I'm Glen Murakami, I am the Head Art Director, a Supervisory Producer as well

Andrea: And hello, I'm Andrea Romano, I do the casting and the voice directing here on Total Drama Batman.

Nick: And we'd like to welcome you to our 100th episode special!

Everyone [cheering]

Nick: well first off, congratulations to us all

Eric: Thank you

Alan: our pleasure

Nick: I, personally am thrilled to bits we've made it this far.

Paul: never doubted you for a second.

Eric: ha-ha-ha

Glen: so obviously the question on everyone's mind today is, what was your inspiration

Nick: Thanks Glen, uh...you know I love Batman: the Animated Series, that, and the Steven Spielberg shows were basically my childhood, I grew up with them, I still love them. Then, my teenage obsession was by far Total Drama, you know, I just thought one day, God; what has Cartoon Network limped into the barn with this time? But you know what, I am proud to say I am a TD fan.

Eric: us too

Paul: yeah, it really captivated the surreality of, you know Canadian teenage attitudes if they were on like a Survivor like show

Andrea: Paul's absolutely right, and their really distinct character traits is what really-really helped sell some of the TDB roles they were given

Nick: That's one of the reasons why I proposed this.

Bruce: I can remember the day you walked into my office at WB studios, I thought...who the hell is this! And I saw your pilot script, I knew absolutely nothing about Total Drama at the time, so we basically took a chance.

Alan: now Bruce has since seen all 91 episodes.

Bruce: damn right, it's a good show.

Nick: yeah after we presented this to WB execs, we acquired joint copyrights (not really don't sue me) with Tom McGillis and Jennifer Persch-

Eric: both who ended up being producers anyhow

Alan: same with Todd Kaufman

Eric: right-right-right

Bruce: the rest was history

Andrea: you know it was a daunting task to get everyone back together and track down who we could, obviously everyone sitting here now was an easy fix, but to get back Kevin Altieri, Dan, Curt-

Paul: Joe Landsdale, Frank Paur

Alan: don't forget about Tom-

Nick: Tom Ruegger has been a Godsend to this show.

Bruce: So, I hold in my hands, the first question, this one comes to us from Sparkling-Nexis137, who really is-[name and address withheld]-shes got a bunch here. First; how do you progress each villain, main character, and side character?

Nick: first of all, sparking-nexis is simply a gorgeous, intelligent, and all around happy girl I've grown to enjoy, and who will be joining us in the spinoff as both a Co-producer and story editor.

Paul: ooh, my crew

Nick: to answer your first question, I always plan as crazy as I possibly can for each character, then back track to a more realistic persona to who they actually are, then blow that up to twice it's size-and boom! Craziness!

Bruce: also, we like to have the characters end up in relationships, unhappy or otherwise.

Alan: that's why we had Boyle and Quinzel

Nick: cause I had to have the former Joker and the ORIGINAL Harley Quinn together, I had to.

Glen: were definitely gonna progress each one more s the spinoff progresses as well.

Bruce: the next question is, how does it feel to have come this far? As being one of the greatest writers in Total Drama fandom?

Nick: oh stop, you know, I would still be some fat lump sitting on his ass if it wasn't for the combined efforts from all of us, especially those who are not here right now, including Sparkling-Nexis who wrote some killer treatments for the season 8 write in contest.

Bruce: will we see more Beth and Leshawna in episodes to come?

Eric: definitely Beth

Paul: as she is the DA, we'll see more and more of her

Nick: we'll try for Leshawna.

Andrea: the best we can do is try

Alan: but we can confirm we'll see more Beth

Bruce: your opinions on the new Total Drama, and will it effect any upcoming events?

Nick: ha-ha, it goes in respects to how I feel with the "New 52" look for DC comics, I don't like it, I haven't heard of it, I haven't seen any of it!

Paul: coming to America very soon.

Eric: but to answer the question, no I doubt they'll have any if any effect on the spinoff.

Bruce: how do you feel-

Nick: there's more

Bruce: oh yeah; how do you feel about other stories inspired by yours?

Nick: I know PhenonsServent who is a regular reviewer here has made a story Total Drama Mega Man.

Andrea: good read

Glen: very well done.

Nick: you see, I'm not familiar with Capcom...at all, and since I'm so busy, I just never got around to is, but if Phenom made it, it has to be good. But I am flattered at the lengths people are going to redux old animated series with the TD characters, I believe someone is redoing Danny Phantom-

Andrea: yeah, Colette Sunderman is the Voice Director for that show. It's funny, we deduced, if we had made an American Total Drama we would use David Kaufman as Cody.

Paul: when David also voiced Danny Phantom, so that was a nice touch.

Nick: Andrea, whose the VD on Total Drama Mega Man

Andrea: uh...I wanna say Susan Blu, but it could be Kris Zimmerman.

Bruce: either way both shows are in good hands...next, oh here's a good one, favorite TD hero, rogue...and side character.

Nick: ohhhhhhhhh.

Eric: shes good

Paul: wow.

Bruce: well come on? Favorite hero?

All: Batman

Nick: I also like Batgirl!

Alan: sure you do.

All laugh

Bruce: favorite villain...wow, Paul you wanna go first?

Paul: gladly, you know I love Joker, I love him a lot, but Harley is my baby, so I gotta go with Her.

Nick: little fun fact here, Paul Dini actually created Harley Quinn in 1992 for Batman: the animated Series

Glen: and she just took off.

Andrea: and if I may, Lindsay fills her shoes oh so well, Steph Mills is phenomenal, just phenomenal.

Eric: you know I like Riddler, he's funny, Noah makes it work, it's always a good episode when Riddler's in it.

Glen: actually I like our Firefly

Nick: I really?

Glen: yup, I do, I like the obsessive quality to Sierra, coupled with the love for fire, it's just...just nice, to put it all in one word, nice.

Alan: me I always liked Two-Face.

Nick: I'm with Alan

Alan: we gave Al the same back story, and it just meshes good with his nice, then evil persona, he really does Harvey Dent justice

Andrea: and that's why this show was such a great combination, cause the characters, may are just so black and white to their counterparts, some aren't, some don't fit well-

Nick: but many do

Andrea: but many do, many do.

Andrea: I do like Harley, shes just so bubbly, but my choice is Catwoman, anyone who voices her does an exceptional job, Megan, no exception, plus she has one of the bad assed costumes we've ever thought of.

Bruce: back to me...All thing's considered, I gotta go Joker, come on, someones gotta. And ours was the quality that guys like Mark, Kevin Richardson, and John DiMaggio brought to the table.

Nick: I'm with Alan on Faces, and for all the same reasons, but Joker comes in at an all time second. As for favorite side character...you know, Rob Paulsen; he's the sh*t, he is, I like Gil.

Andrea: you can give Rob any role and you know he'll nail it, but this ones just so simple, we thought too light of a challenge would be too much, but he sold it right away

Paul: the timid, stuttering new guy.

Bruce: and that's what the new Gil Mason is, not our old one who was a conniving backstabber.

Nick: Eric?

Eric: I agree, I like Gil too.

Paul: ha-ha-ha, uh...jeez favorite side character...Leslie Tompkins

Andrea: that's mine, I like her, Kath, superb.

Glen: any additional character

Nick: really?

Glen: yeah they're all nice challenges, just thinking of something new.

Bruce: Probably Nora Fries, just cause we did so well with her, and Dana did an excellent job acting her out.

Alan: I guess I cast my vote...to you know what, Eli Moncourtois. The idiot depressed SWAT sniper

Eric: I think we see him again soon

Paul: the last episode in regulation before the finale.

Nick: more Bruce

Bruce: uh yeah-yeah, your inspiration for the episodes

Nick: well some-many are counterparts and rewrites of B:TAS episodes, some new ones are smoshes of that. But, what we are...is just a giant stew of cartoon nostalgia being launched at a 21st century cartoon at full force! There's gonna be B: TAS, and Tiny Toons, and Freakazoid! Pinky and the Brain, Biker Mice from Mars, were just a mix of everything thrown together into something of true cartoon beauty. So to answer the question, that's where it comes from.

Paul: Well said

Bruce: yup, uh...Yakko, Wakko, or Dot? And it specifically asks for your opinion.

Nick: you know, I love Rob, therefore I love Yakko, it is one of his greatest perfomances, right next to Pinky, BUT, as a Jersey boy, I gotta go with the hometown on this one, I gotta go with Jess Harnell, so, Wakko.

Eric: Wakko.

Paul: yeah.

Bruce: see I like Dot.

Andrea: Dot yes, Tress steals the show

Glen: don't take anything away from Yakko

Alan: of course not.

Bruce: last but not least, if you were a candy, which one and why?

Nick: hands down, Charleston Chew. It is Nugety goodness wrapped in Tootsie-Roll goodness.

Paul: see at my age I should refrain from candy altogether, can I be a vegetable?

All Laugh

Eric: alright, this next question comes to us from Sargent Epsilon.

Nick: ah, another loyal fan.

Eric: who is -[name and address withheld]-and he asks, which villain do you think had the premiere caper?

Paul: not to beat a dead horse, dead tie, Joker and Harley, I mean we had the Chris Nolan references with Joker's debut, and we redid Mad Love for Harley, it was just great.

Eric: as a fan of Riddler, I gotta say Riddler, again, it was a nice redub. With a nice twist as apposed to last time.

Bruce: Oh definitely The Exterminator, shes fantastic

Andrea: I go with that, I like that.

Nick: for me...and I think Glen will agree...Mrs. Freeze.

Paul: no sh*t.

Nick: Glen, that slow-mo storyboard-

Glan: ha-ha-yes

Nick: when she just leaps out of the vat and attacks Batgirl, oh...orgasmic my friend, simply, simply amazing

Alan: that's why we pay you man.

Glen: thanks

Alan: again for me, it's Two-Face, just the back story coupled with everything else, just sells it. Completely sells it.

Eric: next, what high tech gadgetry is in the Bat-aresnal?

Nick: yeah, this is a Glen question

Glen: well, we got the Batarang, the exploding batarang, the smoke bombs, knockout gas, pepper gas pellets, bat hook, evidence spray, infra red goggles, there's a lot

Eric: and, which is their favorite piece of gadgetry?

Glen: definitely a tie between the Batarang and the Bat hook are the gadgets used the most.

Nick: oops, time for a commercial break where we'll answer more of your questions, starting with the NEW villains, stay tuned!


	208. The TDB 100th Episode Special! Part II

Nick: hey, were back

Eric: a question that has been asked often that we really need to get out, are our original villains, and what we've based them off.

Paul: and by that of course we mean our non-total drama villains and characters.

Alan: guess we should start with Ex and Tuck?

Nick: sure.

Andrea: I know originally wanted Mae Whitman as the role, Mae as you know is known for very independent, take-no-nonsense characters. That was easy

Nick: Tuck...not so easy.

Andrea: which actually brings to the Not-So-Great-Escape episode, cause Bruce, actually did the casting.

Bruce: that's right, I remember sitting in the studio with Nick at like 1 in the morning, going over who should voice Tuck.

Nick: I originally thought of Mark, but;-

Bruce: too expected, then we tried his second choice which was Tom Kane.

Glen: who has a pretty major role in the spinoff if I'm not mistaken?

Paul: mm-hmm.

Nick: Tom ended sounding too British, I wanted a...almost a brackish sound, British and American combined.

Bruce: which in the end, we knew there was only one person for the job, that person being Jeff Bennett.

Nick: who we used for Creeper/Jack Ryder.

Andrea: so, when we started doing the recording for that episode I was dumbfounded to see, that we were dealing with the second coming of Huntsgirl and the Huntsman.

Nick: two iconic characters from the Disney show, American Dragon: Jake Long, that both characters voiced, with a similar inception.

Paul: ours being more dark

Alan: of course, our competitions Disney.

All laugh

Then I guess we got, who Dr. Steinreich?

Andrea: yes

Nick: originally I wanted him to be the crazy, former Nazi scientist, with this gene splicing evil agenda-I wasn't gonna even include Hugo Strange, but as I wrote the script, I ventured off, and he ended up being, a more compassionate guy, with a slight checkered past, he means well, but he's still a baddie at heart. I even made him related to Riddler.

Bruce: and who better to voice him than OUR riddler, John Glover.

Andrea: we had intended back when Nick wanted the Nazi scientist idea, for Steinrreich to be voiced by Dee Bradley Baker, but this happened, and Dee ended up voicing his more outgoing alter ego, Angry Hans, it fit well, it really did.

Nick: oh wait! Lock-Up

Eric: right-right.

Bruce: couldn't uh for the life of us find Bruce Weitz, who voiced him in the Animated Series, so; our first choice in auditions was Daran Norris.

Nick: Daran, had that nice salty demeanor, but when he did the yelling, it wasn't...authentic to the character, we needed someone who could yell and be taken seriously 100% of the time

Andrea: so we were going to decide on Clancy Brown, but who should walk in on a cold audition, was OUR Two-Face, Richard Moll.

Eric: it was perfect, he voiced ya know, the Lyle Bolton lines as Harvey Dent, mask goes on, voice gets deep and raspy-boom, Two-Face, Lock-Up.

Glen: I actually tweaked our Harvey Dent design of him as well, which looked similar to Lock-Up

Andrea: and we said, that's it, were done, we have our Lock-Up.

Nick: next uh...Bionica, I originally thought Tress MacNeille, after seeing Glen's sketches, I thought Tara Strong, that happened, and Tress wound up voicing her assistant, it was one of the few, painless choices I made.

Andrea: as for Dora Smithy, Jen Hale voiced her in Hilary Bader's Gotham Girls where she premiered, we figured, shes available, one less character to audition, why fix what isn't broken.

Paul: right.

Nick: and-"

Paul: Nurse Pain ha-ha yes.

Nick: it was down to three people, all who have voiced Harley Quinn in the past, none of which were Arleen Sorkin.

Andrea: Hynden Walch, Grey DeLisle, and Tara.

Nick: it was a nightmare, Andrea, my hats off to you for keeping your cool during my various and sporadic meltdowns

Andrea: ha-ha-ha, it's not my first rodeo.

Nick: so, we had all three for the final casting call, I thought Hynden, Andrea thought Tara, and Paul thought Grey-

Paul: we were stuck, I had lunch with Arleen the next day, I asked her about it, she came in, read the whole script of bleed no mercy, I liked it.

Nick: Andrea and I heard the recording, I couldn't believe this was Arleen Sorkin, it seemed like Harley Quinn, but at age 20, the voice was about the same from my youth...but not quite, either way we loved it, and that's how we got our old Harley back.

Alan: the trio

Eric: yes!

Nick: well, as we all know yours truly is a 1990's geek

Eric: no?

Glen: not you.

Nick: ha-ha, as some of you may have noticed, they have a heavy influence with the bros, the Biker Mice From Mars, so much so, Rob Paulsen, who voiced Throttle, ended up voicing Snatch, and in that same, 17 year old Clint Eastwood-y voice.

Andrea: but we didn't want Biker Mice "clones" we shaped their backstories up, and added S. Scott Bullock, and Billy West as the other two.

Bruce: also, it is a running gag that we've mentioned in the show that Throttle and Snatch have a similar voice.

Eric: we forgot about Vertigo.

Nick: right-right

Andrea: we were fortunate enough to find David Warner to voice Ra's like he had, at the time, couldn't find Michael York to save our lives.

Bruce: we were running on a tight deadline, we thought Tim Curry, he wasn't available, too late to hold an audition

Alan: ha-ha-ha jeez

Nick: and in pops Alan, with Moe.

Alan: don't say it

Nick: oh come on?

Alan: please don't ha-ha

Nick: he says-

Paul: I think the Brain has something to say

All laugh

Nick: so, Maurice LaMarche became our new Vertigo, absolutely nailed it, one of my favorite acted parts.

Glen: Farmer Brown?

Nick: yup, last performance of Peter Breck, he unfortunately passed away two months after he recorded for that episode. Whose next

Andrea: Hugo?

Nick: I loved how Corey Burton voiced him in Arkham City...again, why the hell fix, what ain't broken. Same with Ed Asner as Roland Daggett, he was available, happy as punch to do it...and alive, couldn't ask for more.

Andrea: and he delivered

Nick: oh without question.

Eric: and you know, with the throw-bat episode, we just wanted as many of our old guys to come back as we could, some were already with us, and we enjoyed that, it was nice.

Bruce: other than the parts our guys had now, we had back our original Penguin, Scarecrow, and Poison Ivy, along with everyone else.

Alan: Jason Drake, we were thinking James Arnold Taylor.

Andrea: but since David Kaufman as we know sounds so similar to Cody, and shares his mannerisms, it just seemed to be the better fit, and with Loren Lester as Red hood, we now had our old Robin back

Eric: more Red Hood to come in the spinoff

Glen: good side though.

All: right

Nick: for our next question, comes to us from PhenomsServant, my boy; who is [name and address withheld]

Paul: was Pain, Mayor Hill, and Boyle just an excuse to get Arleen, Kevin, and Mark into the series, good one

Nick: well we already touched base about Nurse Pain. Hill, I admit, I wanted Kevin Conroy as that role, with Lloyd Bochner resting in peace, someone had to do it, and keep in mind I wanted it as authentic as it did in '92. However, as V-Bat, that wasn't even in question until after I wrote Two-Bit Hit, then I made mention that he was the first Batman in our Inspector Gadget episode, more hints later, then he made his debut in Thrice the Chaos, another fantastic episode.

Alan: thank you.

Nick: when V-Bat first enters, and smacks the trio around, it pays homage to the original '92 theme song, nice job ny the way Glen-or did James Tucker storyboard that?

Glen: I think it was me, but...I dunno.

Nick: but it was still a good choice, as for Boyle, Mark Hamill voiced Ferris in the original, this was before he was given Joker, but I wanted him to see more action, so through all the events, even a goof or so on how he became the Greed Goblin, he basically became...that, very similar to Hobgoblin from Spiderman: the Animated Series who Mark voiced, similar to Joker.

Andrea: what was the goof?

Eric: In the laughing Fish, Joker mentions that the shark, came with his own grin, ergo it is assumed he didn't poison him, when the shark escapes, he eats Boyle later down the road, and Boyle said the shark effected him with the Joker toxin, when it is assumed there was no toxin in the shark.

Bruce: that just about covers it

Paul: well put Eric

Eric: thank you

Alan: question 2: the Freakazoid references.

Nick: well...I'm sure they'll hear Kev Altieri's shpeal, he's taping right next door, the crossover I wrote for them was so graphic in nature, it was canceled by the network, I told Kevin, just make it look presentable, and he did, it was the first time Paul Rugg, and John McCann edited a story for us, and after the debacle I felt ashamed to ask them to help cause I thought they wouldn't, low and behold, Paul comes back

Paul: he and I edit one of the Creeper scripts.

Eric: he said he and John would be delighted to get more work, so in their appreciation, we've referenced their best show

Alan: which essentially has a lot of Freakazoid! references subtly beforehand.

Andrea: yup, question 3: ooh, what made you decide to make Gwen Catwoman, and Heather Talia, when they could have been easily reversed

Paul: good question

Glen: and hold onto your monitor, cause the answer is pretty stupid ha-ha-ha.

Nick: Glen's right, it literally came down to their hair size.

All snicker

Nick: yeah, Catwoman had shorter hair than Talia, and personally, I thought Heather fit the description better, but yes, they could have easily have been switched-

Bruce: and they almost were.

Nick: Bruce is right.

Glen: yay my turn, question 4: lack of Catwoman last season?

Nick: were winding down...I wanted other villains to get in before we move on, and Gwen gas gotten a to of air time, plus I had my epic three part Harley-goes-crazy special last season. She was featured along with Heather in our American Dad parody.

Eric: classic, classic, question 5: any hopes of Arkham City, and Arkham Asylum

Bruce: uh...

Nick: er...

Paul: Paul Rugg, Kevin Altieri, and Dan Riba have tossed the idea around, but that's all we got for now, it's in the idea stage, if it even happens. Anyway, question 6: about the episode amount, we just covered at, we are officially at number 100. so were good.

Nick: I think we got time for one more guys.

Glen: this one comes to us from Kyrogue23

Nick: Kyrogue! My Bro!

Glen: he's from [name and address withheld]-and he asks, how does it feel to be surrounded in a room of greats

Nick: no place I'd rather be my man

Andrea: oh

Eric: thanks

Paul: proud of you.

Eric: question 2: can you show what happened to Poison Ivy and Bridgette Gordon

Nick: work in progress, wink-wink nudge-nudge.

Andrea: question 3: future projects?

Nick: uh...a Total Drama Freakazoid! With Paul, John, and all our crews. More smut

Bruce: can never have too much

Nick: of course the spinoff, I'm trying to edge away from any kind of horror, slasher fics, I'm telling you right now, our movie, which will be heavily based on that, WILL be my last hurrah with the murder story, period!

Paul: really?

Nick: yeah, I've been limping with that since 2009, hell, Revenge Can Kill is almost three years old.

Andrea: really?

Nick: yeah, that was my first big FF gig, I started writing, coincidentally on the eve of my last day of Freshman year...I sit today as a Senior. Oh, next year, 2013, I plan to begin a total drama story with a lot of your favorite cartoon characters, nostalgic or otherwise. I'll post a poll really soon, please vote.

Andrea: well, that seems like all the time we have for

Eric: thank you guys so-so-so much

Alan: keep viewing

Bruce: we still got more Creeper, the Biker Mice, Ra's, Red Claw, and the debut of Phantasm, and our movie coming up next. Until then, I'm Bruce Walter Timm

Eric: I'm Eric Radomski

Paul: I'm still Paul Dini

Glen: Glen Murakami

Alan: Still Alan Burnett

Andrea: Andrea Romano

Nick: and I'm Nick Durdan, hope we answered all your questions, if you have more, just call catcha later guys!


	209. LOVE ME BABY! Part I

**Villain(s): Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn Featuring: several others **

**Episode Archive: I wanna can of hash, and some coffee**

**Written By: Who Do You Think?**

**Directed By: Dan Riba**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini&Paul Rugg**

**Art Direction: James Tucker**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 101: LOVE ME BABY!**

It was a full moonlit evening inside the Looney Toons house. In the rec room, the girls were playing a card game, very familiarly I might add. The table consisted of Lindsay, Dora, Heather, Courtney, and Gwen.

"...I want a nice clean game ladies." Lindsay said

"That would be a first." Heather snapped "So I heard you know who, nailed Red Claw last week."

"No kidding, bats sure gets around for just one guy."

"Yeah, well that's where you're wrong Lindsay, I'm starting to get convinced it isn't one guy." Courtney added

"Huh?"

"Well the way I figure it, we got one, now this V-Bat guy, then this Phoenix dude-I think Gordon has a whole militia stashed some place like a SWAT team, he wants to think it's one guy, but really-"

"Give it up Montoya, I think living here is starting to make ya see double." Gwen added

"Living with you, yes."

"Aw, I think you too make such a cute couple." Lindsay added

"Just deal Quinzel." Courtney ordered

"Well, you know what I think?" Dora asked

"If the next word out of your mouth is robot, so help me I'll smack you." Heather snapped again

"Well he could be."

Gwen and Heather looked a tone another, and winked...they knew the truth, but were so good at playing along.

"Speaking of which, hows your little love triangle going Cat? Heather?" Lindsay asked

"Go lick your girlfriends chlorophyl tasting snatch Quinzel." Heather added not looking up from her cards

"And it's hardly a love triangle, it's uh...it's-"

"Complicated."

"Right-right, what Heather said, complicated." Gwen agreed

"Hey, how did you know Ivy tasted like that?"

"They didn't you pinhead." Dora added

"Erg!"

"Yipe." she reached across the table and grabbed Dora by the collar

"Nobody...and I mean nobody, calls me a pinhead...capice Frostbite?" she said stenly

"...Yes." Dora said softly.

"Good." Lindsay dropped her back into her seat. "So, anyone else have anything to say about me and Red, huh?" she turned away from the table, Katie was resting on the couch, combing the new Sadieface's hair. "What about you Wesker?"

"Are guys like an item, or something?" she asked, cocking her head towards the table

"Hmm...I dunno, I-I-I mean, I always thought it was just puppy love, c-cause I had Joker...I just don't know now." she heard Courtney snicker, and she looked up from her cards. She growled

"Gulp."

"You don't have back-up here Montoya, I'd watch that mouth...besides, I may suck as a psychiatrist but it's clear you have a thing for Gwen, it's obvious."

"Ew." Gwen said not looking up

"T-That's absurd!" Courtney added "I hate her! It's her fault I'm in this mess in the first place!"

"Yeah, keep thinking that cupcake." she laid her cards down "4 aces."

"Oh."

"Dammit."

"Sh*t."

"Sigh, should have figured."

"You can keep playing if you want, I'm going to bed." Lindsay got off of her seat, and left for her cell.

All she could do was think, think about how she really felt about Izzy, was it love, was it a sisterhood, or was it nothing? These thoughts plagued her, until she returned to her cell, to find a note.

"Hello note, what's this."

Dear Harley,

I need your help in the laundry room,

Harleen

"Hmm, she never could figure out how to fold those pants, oh well." she shrugged, and skipped merrily on down to the laundry room.

She had these privileges as she was quite the model prisoner since her previous debacle. She entered the laundry room to find it empty.

"Hello...hello...Harl...Harl...oh if this is a joke, it really isn't-yipe-ha-ha, funny-ha-ha-ha, unh-[thud]"

Someone had sneaked up behind her, and shoved a chloroform soaked rag onto her face, konking her out.

"Harley...Harleeeeeeey." she woke up to see Ivy right in her face "Boo!"

"Gah!" the clown girl jumped "Red?"

"In the flesh-er-leaf!"

"Yay!" she gave her a hug "You found me."

"Of course I did you silly goose. Now come on, I didn't just bust you out to help me with the laundry, let's go have some fun."

"Like, take a nice walk on the beach kind of fun?"

"No, not now, no-no I meant, let's go commit multiple acts of larceny!"

"Sounds fun." Lindsay's smile faded "But I don't have a costume anymore."

"You do now." Ivy handed her a brand new Harley outfit "Whoa."

"Made it myself, you like."

"Red, it's the nicest present anyone's ever gotten me."

"Well don't just stand there, put it on!"

The new outfit was similar to the one Harley had before, but this one had less metal. It was of the same contrasting colors, the clothes was a onepiece, almost like a swimsuit, but less revealing up top. But it was certainly tight, it showed off Lindsay's legs well. And she still had the Harley booties. Of course she put on her eyes mask, the 50 pounds of make-up, and Lindsay even made her a new jester cap.

"Well...how do I look?" she asked doing a few poses

"Stunning." the plant girl licked her lips.

"Tee-hee, thanks, come on let's go already."

"Ah, yup, shes back alright."

Meanwhile Jack Ryder was driving home from his day job, and thought it would be time for his night job. He was quite happy, as he drove to his apartment in the wealthy Westbrook district.

"Can it be? Could my sweet-sweet lil' Jailbird finally be...dare I say it...single from that overbearing over make-uped maniac! There is but only one true way to discover the authenticity of this situation." Jack said seriously

Quick Cutaway to Jack's apartment

"Through Facebook!" he cheered loading up his profile...ooh 811 friends...bastard-FRIEND ME "Cause if it's on Facebook, then it must be true." of course. "Let's see, Lindsay 'Harley Quinn' Quinzel." he typed "bingo. Ooh, she changed her profile picture, now she chose her current mugshot instead of the security photo of her kicking the crud out of Joker." he looked through her stuff "Job, criminal, current city: Gotham, relationship status...SINGLE-Boom-baby!" he jumped "This is finally the big moment I've been waiting for!" he threw his blazer off, and tore the antidote patch from his body "It's Creeper time...that's my new catchphrase. Haha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

The Bat-Signal was brightly lit, and the man whom it was named after, swung onto the roof of police HQ.

"Commissioner?"

"Alone this evening?" he asked

"Everyone's off in different quadrants of the city, I said I'd handle this one."

"A simple yes or no would have sufficed." Gil added next to him

"Regardless, what do ya got?"

"Silent Alarm at Whitman's Fine Jewelry N Things, witnesses say Harley and Ivy, thought you'd be interested." Chris said

"Hmm, Whitman's Fine Jewelry N Things...that's in Westbrook."

"Near the Plaza." Gil added

"I know where it is."

"He knows where it is, what's the matter with you-[slap]" Chris added

"Ow, that hurt."

"I've sent Chef and another squad car, you in?"

"Why not." he turned around and launched a bat hook at the next building and swung away

"Huh, we actually got to see him leave this time." Gil shrugged

"I know, it's a rarity. Now, Gil, riddle me one thing will ya..."

"Sure boss, what?"

"Where the hell is Montoya? Shes harder to get a hold of than the President." Gil went pale "Uh...V-vacation?"

"Vacation?"

"Yes."

"For a month and a half?"

"That is affirmatory."

"First off...no one, takes a month's vacation, not even me-and especially not Courtney, shes a workaholic."

"Uh...did I say vacation, I meant secret mission." Gil said all secretive

"Huh?"

"Uh-yeah-yeah, see Montoya, works with my Dad at the Agency, shes really an undercover sleeper operative and shes just been called on a dangerous mission, by my dad...yeah, yeah that works." he whispered the last part "Which is why I've been patrolling with Chef in her absence."

"Oh...yeah that makes sense, when should she be done?" Chris asked

"Oh gee, could be-three, four-six months-yeah I think six months."

"Alrighty then, good for her, you best be getting over to Chef at the store."

"You got it...and I'll do it on my new Bike."

"New Bike...like a bicycle?"

"Ha-ha-"

. . . . . .

"Oooooh, motorcycle, props man." Chris awed at his subordinates wheels.

"You bet, I'll radio to you the situation, until then, it's time to rock n ride!" Gil jumped on and started it up, he threw his helmet on "Ride free citizen!" he dashed off.

"SPEED LIMIT!" The Commissioner yelled.

Batman stood on a building not far from Whitman's Fine Jewelry N Thing's, when he spotted a familiar character hopping along rooftops, heading towards Whitman's Fine Jewelry N Thing's. He looked a this binoculars.

"Ha-ha-ha-hoo-hoo-Aha-ha-ha-ha!" it was Creeper

"...Yup, it's gonna be one of those nights." Batman sighed and followed him.

Over inside Whitman's Fine Jewelry N Thing's, Harley and Ivy were pilfering some fine diamonds and other fine jewelry n things.

"Okay Harl, time to go shopping!" Ivy jumped behind one counter "I got the jewelry!"

"I got the things!" Harley jumped behind the other

"Time to filch!" they filled their bags with the fine jewelry n things. But no sooner did they start when someone jumped through the front door

"Harley! I'm Home!"

"Yipe!"

"Creeper!" Ivy jumped

"That's right ladies, who wants to gimme some lovin, hmm?"

"A smack in the face sounds more suiting." Harley crossed her arms. Creeper jumped over to her

"Oh come on there sugar dumpling I know you didn't mean that." he said seductively, an angered Harley tried to push him off

"I did mean it you simpleton! Wow..it's refreshing when I get to say it-now scram, before I get snooty!"

"Yeah! Or before I shove fast growing thorn bushes down your throat." Ivy added holding up some seeds "Try blaming that on acid reflux."

"I don't want you Ivy, I just want my sweet-sweet Harleykins." he got closer to her again "Who might I add, has never looked better."

"Shes not into you!" Ivy snapped

"She is, I know she is!"

"I'm...I'm not!" she hesitated she took out her boxing glove gun...haven't seen that in awhile. "Does this prove it-[pop]"

"Gaaaaaaaaaaah-[splat]" he flew to the other side of the store.

"Answer your question?"

"Boom glove go, stars pretty above head." Creeper slurred. Suddenly, the cops showed up, with the sound of a motorcycle coming in close.

"Oh great." Harley groaned

"Hurry Harl, out the back way, I'll stall em!" she threw down some seeds in front of the doorway, locking it in a viney mess.

. . .

"Aw great!" Chef yelled, he got over the radio "Send in for an ax crew...and bring some hedge clippers too!"

"Good call!" Gil added disembarking from his bike

"Solid bike."

"Why thank you."

Harley and Ivy ran out into the ally, to a dead end wall, guess who stood atop of it?"

"Hurry Harle-gasp! Crap!" Batman jumped on top of the wall

"Double crap!"


	210. LOVE ME BABY! Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"Evening Ladies!"

"I'm not sure who I'd rather take my chances with? B-man or Creeper?" Harley questioned.

"How bout just make this easy, and pick me." Batman insisted jumping down from his precarious perch.

"Or-or-or, better idea-better idea." Ivy began taking out some seeds "Neither!"

"Gah-God I fall for it every time!" Batman fumed.

He suddenly found himself entangled in a thicket of Ivy's world famous, quick grow vines and such. The vines raised up back to the wall, trapping Batman upside down.

"Whoa." Harley was impressed "You did pretty good Red."

"Thank you, now come my dear, we have so much of our romantic evening ahead of us."

"Tee-hee okay."

"Grrr-gah-gr-dammit-almost have it-kinda-got it-crap!" Batman strugged, but his night only got worse, when guess who walked out from the back of the store.

"Harley! Oh Harls? Where are you my baby?"

"Oh no...not...now!" Batman struggled more trying to get out of his predicament.

"Gasp! Bats! Bats! Batman-friend-Friend-Hey friend! Friend, what's up friend, having some trouble?" he waved dashing over to his part time crime fighting assistant.

"N-no Creeper, I'm fine-thank you."

"No-no friend, let old Creeper give you a helping han-"

"NO-God no, no-no I'm-I'm fine really I-got-it." he struggled "I don't...need...your...h-help."

"Sure you do, your struggling more than an overweight woman in labor." he asides to the camera "That's the noise that can shatter glass-ha-ha-ha-ha-I am funny!"

"Yeah great, just-j-just-go-go get Harley, and Iv...y, I got this."

"Aw come on Bats you old stick in the mud, let me just loosen these a little." much to Batman's chagrin, Creeper started to touch the vines

"Creeper! You're not helping!"

"Nonsense!" the Green skinned man continued on the vines.

"No-no-no-no-no-NOOOOOO!" Batman fell right onto the hard pavement. "Oof...great, this is the season where I fall from high heights for comical purposes." he sighed in an awkward position. Creeper jumped down next to him unscathed.

"Bats! What are you doing sitting there on the job buddy, come on, let's go!" he picked a gimpy Batman off the ground "Up and at-em sleepy head! Come on let's go!" he smacked him the face once or twice to get him to stand upright. "Hurry up-hurry up-hurry up, let's go-let's go!" Creeper jumped atop the wall chuckling "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Batman sighed

"...Something tells me I'm gonna get hurt a lot this episode." he sighed and followed Creeper.

Back to the storefront, The ax men of Gotham city were trying to hack away at the thorny vines Ivy had left for them...this should backlash some comedy.

"You know...GRUNT...why couldn't she have been...I dunno, Ice Cream Gal-or something-GRUNT!" Chef complained taking a few swings with the ax.

"Yeah-yeah, or-or-or...The Fluffy Pillow Bandit!" Gil added sawing away another throne branch

"Now why can't we get villains like that? Stupid costume, stupid motives...and even stupider contraptions." Watch what you wish for Chef

"I dunno, cause we don't write this stuff!"

"Well you know Gil maybe we should just-j-just...start our own show!"

"Oh that would be fantastic!"

"Hey, you know what would really be fantastic is if our other lazy back-up officer-GOT OFF THEIR LAZY ASSES AND HELPED US OUT! Chef boomed, the other officers got to work on cutting the thorns.

"Uh...Y—YEAH! WHAT HE SAID-Yeah!" Gil added trying to assert some authority.

Harley and Ivy were running through Westbrook, enjoying the wealthier side of things in Gotham Ivy tugged on her hand the whole time.

"Wah-hoo!"

"Gosh Red! You sure know how to treat a woman to a good time!"

"You know it babe, oh but we must make haste my little honey-blossom, for we have 11:30 reservations at the Rose Cafe."

"Gasp! The Rose Cafe? But wait, isn't that place harder to get a reservation for than a Michael Bay after party?" Doubt it

"Yup!"

"And...don't they close at like...10?"

"Not for us, we got the whole place to ourselves my little lily." she cupped her chin "Come on." they were but a block away from the place.

The two Femme Fatals entered the dimly lit restaurant, where the piano man was singing a song, and playing the piano, and the place smelt fresh...like...like-like the smell of a fancy pants restaurant (Hey, gimme a break, there are NO five-star restaurants readily available in Western New Jersey in which I can sample)

Anyway they approached the Maitre'D, who looked a lot like Johnathon Schmock. Who had a horrible Central European accent.

"Miss Ivy, Miss Quinn, what's-a shaking with you? We've been expecting you againsted our will." he said nervously motioning to the thorny vines clustered on the ceiling above him.

"Hmm very good Monsieur, take me and my devilishly beautiful date here-"

"Tee-hee."

"To your finest table."

"Yes-yes, right this way if you pleased you two." he nervously walked them to a table in the center of the restaurant, which was ornate with foliage of all kinds, and a beautiful centerpiece.

"Very good Monsieur, here, for your troubles." she gave the Maitre'd a stolen gold chain

"Wow, thanks, can-a I go home now?"

"Sure, knock yourself out." Ivy shooed him

"Bless you!" he ran away the two girls sat, and that all too familiar waiter with the creepy French accent rushed over to them.

"Hello ladies, might I get you some drinks."

"Sure, get me something loaded with alcohol in a martini glass that's colored in red and black." Ivy said lovingly.

"And for you?"

"Samesies, but make mine green." Harley said with the same expression of love.

"And we know what we want to order." Ivy added "Harley will have the Roast Duck Almondeen with mixed vegetables, and a side of French Fries."

"And Red will have the Caesar salad, hold the Caesar, and don't skimp on the salad."

"Right away ladies." he said taking their menus.

"...I get dessert if I finish my vegetables, right Red?"

"Of course sweet pea...of course."

"Horay!"

Outside Batman and Creeper were coming in hot, Creeper acted like a bloodhound...literally.

"Come on Creeper...follow the scent...follow the scent boy." Batman egged him on.

"Gasp, I smell her...all the finest perfumes in the world...with a hint of lavender and...french fry grease. There!" he pointed

"The Rose Cafe, of course!" he called Gil over the Bat-communicator "Gil! Rose Cafe, double time it...Yes I'm sure, just get-...ach-aw...s-s-n-no-nn-no-NO, dammit listen, screw the vines, and get your crew over here! I'll be as pushy as I want!"

And, now inside the place of roses...and cafe.

"Gee Red...wow, you-you certainly know how to treat a woman."

"How's that?"

"I mean...fancy restaurant by ourselves...everything complimentary." Ivy then turned to some of the staff with that reads: and it is complimentary, right? Good.

"The fancy music, the awesome food, this is perfect-bestest date I've ever been on."

"Nothing's too good for my little Lotus." she said putting a Lotus Blossom on top of her cap "There."

"Aw...it's beautiful...just like you."

"Oh baby." they leaned in for a really romantic kiss-BUT! I'm gonna ruin that

KER-SLAM "Baby!" Creeper dashed in and slid over to Harley with a rose in his mouth.

"Well, that's a joy killer." Ivy sighed

"Yeah tell me abou-iiiiiiiiiiit!" Harley was interrupted by Creeper grabbing her and doing the tango...with the rose in his mouth. Harley couldn't seem to get away.

"Baby, why do you avoid daddy huh?" he asked in baby speak

"Erg! Hate you! Erg! Let me go Creep!"

"Creep-ER! There's an Er, you always forget the ER!"

"Get away from her you limey green freak!" Ivy was about to lunge across the table, but Batman had other means, and by that I mean jumping in front of her

"Uh-uh, I don't think so Ivy."

"Erg, stay out of this splat-man! KOFF!"

"ERG!" she flipped the table, so it collided with his rather cleft chin, Batman fell injured on the flipped table

"...That makes two." he groaned

"Erg-erg-erg, Creeper! Can't you take a hint? Or has the all day Freakazoid marathon gone to your head?" that's only 12 hours of total film.

"What's the hint babes, that you looooove me?"

"NO! I HATE YOU!"

"No you don't, you're crazy for me...and your single!" he said twirling her into a dip

"Single yes...crazy...also yes...for you...no way Jose!"

"But you gotta be, just like it says in that song!" he brought her in for a dip, then he motined for the band "Hit it boys!"

_She loves you!_

_Yeah-yeah-yeah_

_She loves you_

_yeah-yeah-yeah!_

Ivy was able to grab her whilst Creeper danced to the tune.

"Creeper!" Batman yelled getting up "They're getting away!"

"Oh no they're not! I think I know where they might be headed." he whispered the location in Batman's ear.

"Of course, I'll redirect Gil's crew."

Ivy took them to the place where they had first met all those years ago at the Gotham Natural History Museum.

"Ah Red, brings back memories." Ivy was holding onto her thigh's trying to spot her as she was on top of the wall to the T-Rex exhibit

"Yeah, it sure was a chance encounter wasn't it."

-Flashback-

"_Nice going butterfingers! Why didn't you just turn on the Bat-Signal while you were at it."_

_I wasn't trying to get caught!"_

"_Could have fooled me, hey, aren't you that plant lady poison oakey?"_

"_Ivy! Poison Ivy!"_

_Sorry, Harley Quinn, pleased to meetcha!_

-Flashback over-

"Ah-good times."

"HA! See-see, I told you!" they saw Creeper on the second floor balcony with Batman

"Creeper! You've ruined our evening-again!" Ivy fumed "You've stolen my perfect evening!"

"And that's not all Ms. Greeny! I'm stealing your girl too!" he jumped down

"No Creeper wait-oof!" he splat on the first floor "And that makes three."

"You little-[thwack]" he knocked Ivy out of the way

"Red!"

"Come on Harl, just admit it, you know you loves me, you know you do."

"Creeper...ERG-NO! NO I DO NOT!"

"You...-you-you...don't, well then, who do you love?"

"I love...I...love-I love Ivy!" she ran over to her "Cause shes always there, and she loves me unconditionally...not just to get me fine Jewelery N Things, but someone whose just always there, and not creeping around, so get this through your head Creeper, I love Isabelle Pamela-Lillian Isley, Get It!" she slammed a kiss onto her. Creeper welled up

"Fine...I can take a hint-I know when I'm not wanted!" he ran away crying.

Back outside, Gil loaded them into the police wagon

"Get em out of here." he ordered looking at Batman "You think he'll pull through?"

"I'm sure." cutscene to the Creeper, tearing a picture of Harley up "He'll find love, I just know it." Creeper huddled wherever he was and sobbed

"Good, however, there is one thing I found shocking."

"What?"

"This." he took out a piece of paper "Dr. Leland was in a session with Montoya yesterday...I uh, think it's safe to say she'll stop trying to get rid of Gwen."

"Why do you say that?"

"Read it."

. . .

"NO WAY!"

**The End...**

**Alright all you cool cats, tomorrow starts a little Ra's action overseas...where Frank Paur will most likely direct it. See ya! R&R!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

**Emilie Claire-Barlow:** Courtney Montoya

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Jeff Bennett: **Jack Ryder/The Creeper

**Stephanie Ann Mills: **Lindsay Quinzel/ Harley Quinn, Katie Wesker

**Katie Crown: **Izzy Isley/Poison Ivy

**Rob Paulsen: **Vice Commissioner Gil Mason

**Paul Rugg: **Maitre'd

**Neil Ross: **The Waiter

**Jennifer Hale: **Dora Smithy, Additional Voices

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Gwen Kyle

**Rachel Wilson:** Heather Al Ghul

**Fred Tatasciore: **Additional Voices

**The Beatles: **Themselves


	211. Nacht Der Reise, Part I

**Villain(s): Ra's Al Ghul, Heather Al Ghul**

**Episode Archive: I'm gonna need more rope!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Frank Paur**

**Teleplay By: Butch Hartman&Rich Fogel**

**Art Direction: Shayne Poindexter&Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 102: Nacht Der Reise**

Trent Wayne sat bored as sh*t on a shingle inside his office at Wayne Enterprises. Little did he know though, his weekend was about to get a giant kick in the ass! Lucius walked in, being all Lucius and such.

"What's the scam?" Trent asked monotone

"Glad you asked Mr. Wayne. You see...I got these two tickets to see the Masters this weekend, and-"

"I would love to Lucius!" Trent did a quick cliche cartoon change, and like that, he was out of his business ware and into an Oakley Polo, with Ralph Lauren Khaki shorts, and golfing shoes...and a Scottish Kangol for comedy. "I've been needing a break with all this villain drama, and since we have so many extra hands to guard the city, I could use this ONE weekend off."

"I'm happy to hear you say that Mr. Wayne, because I'm going to the Masters with my wife, and your going here!"

"Here, where's here?" He gave Trent a plane ticket.

"I told this Dutch laser company I would test out their latest toy, to see if our companies could strike a deal but; this came up."

"And you assumed your BOSS would happily fill in for you, even though he helps defend the night from all things bad and crazy?" Trent asked

"Hey you were all peachy keen to drop everything and join me at the Masters." it's just a bunch of dudes playing golf. "Besides, I already said you'd be there and you owe me from ALL the boring business trips I took for you." Lucius snapped "So you can do defend the night?"

"Hey, I went on the last one!"

"Yeah, so did I!"

"Oh right." Trent pondered trying to remember the situation. He sighed defeated "Fine, I'll go I guess."

"Good, here's your ticket, your flight leaves at 9:00 tonight."

"Super, I'll see you Monday."

Trent sighed. He was in his room later that evening, with Alfred packing up for the big business trip, not as big as the one from last season...conveniently enough directed by Frank Paur.

"A whole weekend wasted to go on some lame sauce business trip, what the hell am I supposed to do in Holland for a whole weekend...hmm, perhaps I could save crime there!"

"Don't get your hopes up sir, I think Strudel man has that covered."

"Aw nut bunnies! Now I'm gonna be REALLY bored." he clipped his suitcase shut "Alfred, make sure they go on patrol tonight."

"Yes indeed sir." Alfred nodded. Trent then turned to his three illegitimate kids, and his Goddaughter. "Make sure you all don't skimp on your jobs, and whatever you do, DO NOT go into my big wall safe, understand." Trent pointed "I got top secret...stuff in there, and I would hate it if it were tampered with. Alfred, make sure they stay out of it."

"Not to worry sir, I'll make sure they stay out."

"Fantastic, now I want the four of you to promise me you won't touch my safe, capice?"

"Yes."

"Yes sir."

"Yup."

"Yessim."

"Fantastic, well, I'm off."

"Where is this business at anyway Master Trent."

"Arnhem...Arnhem Holland."

"Hmm." Sara pondered "Arnhem...Arkham-Arnhem...Arkham...something tells me something bad is bound to happen."

"Probably, but; I'll try and take the high road on this one."

"Might I recommend Master Trent you find something to do in which to enjoy your trip..." Alfred picked something from his pocket

"Like what Alfred."

"There's an archeological fun dig in the area run by two British archeologists, the Thatchers."

"Hmm...Thatcher...That...cher...why does that ring a bell?" Cody pondered

"Beats me."

"You know Alfred, that does sound kinda cool."

"Fantastic master Trent, I'll sign you up."

"Great." he turned to leave "Just keep your paws off my safe." The kids put on some evil smirks and looked at Alfred.

"I don't think I rather like the looks of those cliched cartoon grins." he pondered worryingly

So Trent embarked on a crusade to Holland, the land of windmills...and...other...stuff. Well let's get this lame ass meeting over with cause

"Ja, Missa-Wayne, I hopes we can make-a deal ja?"

"Of course, I think it's a fantastic idea, We'll talk contracts tomorrow." he turned around "Gimme a break."

Trent looked at his watch

"Well, at least I got this crappy dig...thingy to attend to. Sigh."

Trent drove his rented car to outside Arnhem, where at a bus pavilion he was greeted by a dude with a mustache, and a slight afro...and he's still British. If I had to place a look on Grant, picture one of those guys from a 1970's groovy sitcom...and boom! Grant Thatcher.

"Ah, you must be Bruce Wayne."

"Uh, Trent Wayne, actually."

"Oh." he looked at a clipboard "Maryanne you got the names wrong again!"

"Sorry dear! I don't see you taking the phone calls." the shorter red haired woman added with a sneer.

"Erg...Welcome Mr. Wayne, to our archeological dig! Were going to take you, and 4 others to a former WWII battlefield, not far. Doesn't that sound exciting?"

"Eh, beats sitting around in a meeting all day." he shrugged

"Super, let me introduce you to the other diggers."

Seated inside the bus, was in fact, 4 others, plus Maryanne. One guy, was your stereotypical, crotchety old man, complete with old man features, like, bald head, hair growing out of his ears, pants pulled up to his stomach, cane, the whole nine.

By him, was a couple, clearly husband and wife. They seemed to be newlyweds. Early 30's. The dude wore a conservative get-up, and sported a brown crew-cut, while the dudette was a teensy bit on the chubby side with ear height blonde hair, but she seemed to be more carefree.

The third, was another woman, with long dark hair, she seemed to be in her College days, and dressed for it. She also wore nice glasses.

"Uh...hi."

"So sonny, you're the Trent Wayne are ya?" the old guy asked

"That's what it says on my Twitter."

"I have a Twitter!" the college girl yelled...yes, shes hyper.

"What's a Twitter?" The old guy asked

"Alright Trent, I'd like you to meet our elderly guest Chester."

"I have medical problems."

"Our newly couple Jan and Joan Cavendish."

"Hi there."

"Nice to meet you."

"And this is Tina McAvoy, shes studying abroad from Georgetown."

"Go Bulldogs!" GO FIGHTING IRISH!

"You know me I'm Grant Thatcher, and of course my darling wife Maryanne."

"Oh, so now I'm your darling wife."

"Don't start honey."

"So, you're really Gotham city right?" Tina asked

"That's right, land of crime, scum-"

"And Batman!" she said over entusiastically

"Well, of course...Batman is a fine member of the community."

"I read somewhere there were two of them now?" Jan asked

"Oh...uh...I heard it's just the old one." Trent shrugged

"Yes, we forgot there were two different generations now." Joan added

"Were from Yonkers so we try to stay current." Jan explained

"Oh, that's not too far." Trent agreed

"Should I see a doctor about this foot?" Chester asked randomly...as elderly men are.

Back at Home Alfred was busy in the living room curling up with a 1st edition "The Hunt For Red October." See the movie. Little did he know about the mission: impossible to open Trent's safe and see what's inside if said safe.

Cody and Sara crept up into the airvent, and crawled into the room, they were nearly over the safe

"Okay, you ready Codykins?"

"Yup."

"Good, good luck."

Cody repelled down on one of those belay, mission impossible...thingy's I dunno you've seen them in the movies, he went to crack the safe, but before he could, it opened.

"Huh?" Jason stood next to him

"Hey, how did you-"

"Oh you see, everything in this house is connected by a computer...a Bat computer...which Geoff was so nice enough to unlock it for me."

"Oh...crud." they got to work, but nothing inside seemed out of the ordinary "Let's see here, money-gold, priceless jewelry, ming vase, jade statue, Hope Diamond-there's nothing out of the ordinary here!" Cody complained

"That's because, I have what Master Trent spoke of, in my pocket, anticipating this exact scenario, and you're not going to get it." Alfred said standing the doorway

"Rats." Jason snapped...as did Cody's line

"Double Rats-[oof]-...pain."

Back in Holland, the team was digging for whatever they thought was worth digging for, near an old cemetery.

"What are we looking for Grant?" Trent asked

"Were near an old WWII battleground, not far from the Arden Forrest, use your imagination, helmets, bullets, schnitzel-I dunno."

"Where's my teeth?" Chester asked

"Ewwwwwwwwwwww!"

"I think Tina found the teeth." Jan added

"Thanks missy."

"Ugh, what have you gotten me into Alfred?" he sighed

And cause it's late, and I'm tired, we take you now to upon the hill of the cemetery, where a familiar face or two...or a lot were by a mausoleum.

"Father, must we remain in this decrepit cemetery any longer?" Heather asked

"Patience my daughter. We will enjoy the fine foods of Arnhem just as soon as I get what I came for...the medallion of Winston Churchill...who for some reason has been disinterred from England and put here in this inconspicuous and rather eerie graveyard...English." Ra's rolled his eyes He turned his head to see the dig down below the hill on the other side of the cemetery. "Is that...the Detective..." he grinned "Oh sweet Moses, this is what I've hoped for." he then noticed his daughter sniffing a daisy "But I can't have Heather ruining this, shes crazy for him...literally. Oh Ubu."

"Yes master?"

"You and the shadows, keep Heather busy, the Detective is down that Hill, it's time I did away with him..."

"The infi-"

"Ah! Just...just do as I say Ubu."

"Yes Master." he left, and Ra's turned to the hill "Could this day get any sweeter...ha-ha-ha-ha-ha."

And down below at the dig site.

"Hey-hey! I-I found something!" Chester yelled

"Really!"

"What'd you find Chester?"

"Ooh-wait-wait, let me get the camera!" Joan sang

"Well, what'd you find?"

"I found...a nickel!"

"Grooooooooooooan!"

"Finders keepers-"

"grrrrrrr."

"Huh?"

"Grrrrrrrr."

"Is that?" Trent saw whatever was making the moaning noise get closer

"What I think it is?" Maryanne asked

"Grrrrrrrrrr."

"AHHHHHHHHHH! ZOMBIE!"

"Quick! Quick! Into that creepy and randomly convenient house! Were surely to be sae in there!" Grant led them inside the two story Art Deco Central European style home, as more and more zombies converged on the location.

"What do we do-what do we do-what do we do?" Tina ran around nervously

"I didn't sign up for this! And I fought in these parts...or was it the pacific...or Korea?" Chester pondered

"Quick, start boarding up windows!" Grant ran towards them with hammers, nails, and 2x4's.

"Where'd you get the-"

"Cartoon! No time! BOARD!"

"You guys start, I'll go...find more boards!"

"Good thinking Trent!"

"Whose Trent!"

"Shut-up Chester!"

Trent ran into the next room, assuming it was safe, and changed into the Bat-suit, HOWEVER, Maryanne walked in, and watched him change, Trent never noticed

"Gasp! Trent Wayne...is Batman?" she whispered

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	212. Nacht Der Reise, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Back at Wayne Manor, the kids were thinking of another mission impossible scheme, whilst Alfred and Geoff watched TV in the living room...this should be interesting.

"Alright, there they are." Cody whispered, he and Sara were back in the vents above.

"So, what exactly is the plan Cody-bear, you just whispered a bunch of incoherent babbling to me."

"Oh...alright well it's pretty east, I use this piece of fishing line, attached to this fishing hook, I lower it down, and bing-bang-boom, We take whatever the hell it is out of Alfred's pocket, fish it up, no ones the wiser."

"Do we even know what were looking for?" Sara asked

"No, but whatever it is, it can't be too heavy or noticeable, besides plop Alfred in front of a TV he's as helpless as a child on Saturday morning."

"Alright."

"Besides, I got a plan B in case this whole thing goes south."

"That being...?"

"Jason, no shush, I need total concentration."

"Alright."

Cody lowered the fishing line down towards Alfred, him of course not noticing. Cody went first for the left jacket pocket.

"So I don't get it, why won't he give George the bread for free, when he gave the other guy bread for free?"

"It's supposed to be funny I guess?" Geoff shrugged

"Well it just doesn't make any sense, you charge one guy nothing, and one guy 2 dollars extra for bread, it's just poor business...and now he won't even give George his soup!"

"Again, it's supposed to be funny."

"Well now it's not funny it's just rude. Why if I ran that soup kitchen, I would stand for integrity, compassion, and I wouldn't charge 2 dollars extra for bread."

"Oh Alfred."

Cody tried his best to get the hook inside the pocket.

"Gently...gently...easy...eas-"

"Sara shut-up! You're making me nervous!"

"Oh sorry."

"Now then..."

As Cody attempted to lift the note from Alfred pocket, his line snapped in the process.

"Gasp!"

"Crud...stupid 10 pound test fishing line." Cody griped

"Plan B?" Sara asked

"Plan B." Cody took out a kids 2 way "Jason, plan b."

"Roger."

Jason was in an air vent right under the foot of the couch, he opened the grate, and as quietly as he could reached his hand out, unfortunately Alfred adjusted his feet, and unknowingly crushed his hand

"Erg." he grunted.

Back to the Netherlands, Jan ran into the foyer carrying several items of interest.

"Whoa." Tina gasped

"Jan where'd you find those?" Mary asked

"An old chest in the master bedroom, WWII guns, tons of them, ammo too, it's the only way were gonna fend off these zombies."

"Are you sure?" came another voice from the next room

"Gasp!"

"Batman!"

"It's Batman!"

"I don't believe it."

"When did you get here Superman?" Chester asked

"It's Batman...and I make it my business to know when there's trouble."

"Cool." Grant was intrigued "But now we got a ton of zombies that need to return to the dead, if you know what I mean."

"Where did you find these?" Batman asked examining one of the STG 44's.

"Oh, Jan was always good at finding things." Joan explained

"Like when you lost your sunglasses at Disney World?"

"Oh yeah, I remember that."

"Hey, zombs, let's get em! Come on, I don't wanna be dinner for em!" Grant hurried them, picking up a Tommy gun.

"What about you Batman?" Tina asked handing him an M1 Garand

"Sorry, I don't like guns, and I definitely think there's someone...or something controlling these zombies, and I'm gonna find out what!" He dashed towards the stairs

[Crack-Crash-craksh]

"Raaaah!"

"Grrrrrrrrr!"

"Rar-rar-rar!" the zombies were right outside, starting to break away the boarded barricades.

"Anyone ever read that book by Max Brooks?" Jan asked taking aim with his M1

"No." everyone said

"Well...it would come in handy...but I'm sure he meant when he said, get em between the eyes-[blam]" Headshot

"Raaaaaaaar-[thud]"

"Good shot hon."

"Thanks, but I still got three more." he pointed again at the window "AHHHHHHHHH!-[blam-blam-blam-blam-blam-blam-Pi-DING]" he emptied the clip

"...You missed every shot." Mary complained

"I'm rusty!"

"Rararar!"

"grrrar!"

"RAAAAAAR!"

"This is not good! Not good!" Tina yelled

"Ah, quit your griping missy and just shoot!" Chester raised his Browning Automatic Rifle

"Something tells me this won't end well Chester."

"That's what you think twig boy!" he unloaded the twenty rounds at two windows filling up with zombies, knocking them all down. "And that's how we did it at Normandy...or was it Okinawa...or was I even in WWII...come to think of it, maybe it was Korea...but then I would never use this-"

"CHESTER!"

"What!"

"Just keep shooting we need all the help we can get!" Grant yelled pointing to the other windows where more zombies were rushing in.

Up on the roof, Batman was looking about the cemetery to try to find the source of the zombie apocalypse only Max Brooks has thought of. He noticed the zombies seemed to simply rise from their graves almost in a trance like state, like they were under a spell, Batman was convinced there was only one man who could be pulling off this debacle.

"Well, it's Ra's handiwork alright...so he must know I'm here...or he's just a class A douche, question is, where the hell is he?" he looked upon the Hill where Ra's stood by the mausoleum "Bingo." it didn't look like Ra's knew where Batman was, he was simply too busy admiring his own chauvinistic pursuit.

Back at home, Jason was still getting his hand crushed under the weight of Alfred's Oxford's. Geoff finally noticed this.

"Ooh...uh, Alfred?"

"Yes Master Geoffrey?"

"I'm feeling a bit parched, might I trouble you for a glass of water...or a beer?"

"But of course." Alfred stood up, and the note inconspicuously fell out of his pocket, and onto Jason's crushed hand

"Ow-ow-owowow!" he complained jumping up. "Ow-thanks Geoff." Cody and Sara joined them

"Well?"

"Is that it?"

"The note?"

"The note! The note, what does it say?"

"It says...-"

"I'll be taking that!" Alfred grabbed the note.

"Awwwwwwww."

"And I suggest you two." he pointed to Cody and Sara "Better get suited up, and one of you better be getting to his station." Alfred looked at Geoff, then pointed to the nearest window "The great Bat-Signal beckons."

"Aw man." Cody sighed

"Hey, wait, how come you guys have all the fun! I wanna join." Jason said

"Well suit up Red Hood, cause this one promises to be a hot one." Sara smirked.

And back at the place of Holland Ra's stood atop the cemetery admiring his work on the zombies converging on the house.

"Ah, sweet-sweet free zombie labor...and how entertaining." his Iphone rang Ra's asides to the camera "What? Just because I've lived since the 1400's I can't be hip with the latest trends? I told Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak making a software company was a good idea! Yes, hello? Joseph, my good man...well you're the securities expert, just break in, grab the damn thing, get out, and don't make a ruckus! I know you're old, I'm over 600 and I could do it with my eyes closed! Besides, you shouldn't run into too much trouble, the detective is here...yes Batman you idiot, turn up the hearing aid! Grab it, get away and stop bitching and moaning! Now don't call me again until you're finished!" he disconnected "Ugh, could this get any worse-oof-[thud]"

"Probably." Batman stood above

"Well-well, yes,evening detective, or should I say good morning, what brings you to the Netherlands?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I've come for Mr. Churchill's medallion..."

"Really?"

"Yes really."

"Then uh." Batman pointed to the zombies

"Oh, the zombies, why I...I haven't noticed them at all actually."

"I've aid this before, but you sound like a bad Saturday afternoon cereal Ra's-"

"That doesn't make any sense, no one in their right mind eats cereal in the afternoon-"

"Ahem." Heather suddenly stood between them, in her hand, a nice bouquet of wild flowers

"Daughter...what brings you back?" Ubu and the Shadows stood behind her

"Well I was with everyone else picking some flowers...for you!" she threw the bouquet at his face "When I noticed a zombie or two rise up from the grave, I think to myself-no, Dad wouldn't do that, then I slap myself in the face and think-THAT'S EXACTLY THE KIND OF THING HE WOULD DO!"

"Look Master, we've picked Daisies!" Ubu presented to him a large armful

"Oh shut-up you buffoon! I told you to keep her busy, you couldn't even do that right!" Ubu looked at Batman

"Ubu."

"Infidel."

"Come everyone, this trip was a wash anyway-"

"No!"

"No?" Ra's turned to see Heather jump into Batman's arms

"I'm staying with my beloved."

"You do realize daughter he's only going to take you back to that wretched asylum."

"He is right about that."

"I don't care, I'll take it, just so I can stay with him." she gave Batman a kiss

"Ugh...teenagers." Ra's did a facepalm "Fine, I'll be seeing you both...very...very soon...you'll see Detective, you'll see my glorious plan...very...very...VERY soon." they departed

"Well, don't we have some zombies to slay?"

Batman smiled

"Yes, yes we do."

They darted back to the house, where most of the remaining zombies were already inside...it was pandemonium, zombie guts were flying left, and right!

"AHHHHH!" bang-bang-bang

"Take that you zombie scum!"

"Joan?"

"Sorry hon-watch your 6!"

"Who, whoa-[blam]-thanks"

"Eat it-[bang-bang-bang]-lousy kids!" Chester yelled

"Yeah you like that-[bang-bang-bang]-huh?" Grant asked

"Raaaaaaaaaar!"

"Yeah that's what your mother said!"

"grrrrrrrr!"

"Raana-ranna!" one charged right at Tina [BLAM]

"Ha-ha, thank you Remington." she pumped.

Suddenly Batman charged through the boarded up door

"Guys!"

"Hang on bats! Just two more to go!" Maryanne took aim at one, and with her M1 Carbine blew it away

"Raaaaaaaaaar!"

"And now this one..." everyone else took aim "SAY HELLO TO OUR NOT-SO-LITTLE FRIENDS!" and they unloaded, missing every shot

"Well."

"That sucked."

"Ugh, gimme a break." Batman launched a Batarang at the left eye

"AHHHHHHHHH!" INSTA-KILL!

"That's the last of em I reckon." Chester saluted

"There might be more." Heather added

"Quickly people, to the bus!" they ran outside, guns in hand, and jumped on. Grant hoped in the driver's seat

"Go-go-go!"

"Alright, buckle up! And bats...whose the girl?"

"Forget about it." Heather crossed her arms. The bus drove away On top the hill, Ra's and the others looked down

"Ubu, I want you and the Shadows to follow them, I want my daughter back from that...that...that-"

"Infidel?"

"Quite."

"Yes master."

"Good." Ra's turned away "Soon...very soon, the world...will be mine."

**The End...?**

**Alright guys, this continuation will be our B-story for the next episode, and after some Chill...we have our long overdue BMFM crossover! Enjoy, review, I'm going to bed!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Pennyworth

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson

_**Guest Starring...**_

**David Warner: **Ra's Al Ghul

**Rachel Wilson: **Heather Al Ghul

**David Kaufman: **Jason Drake

**Jess Harnell: **Grant Thatcher, Dutch Businessman

**Diane Pershing: **Maryanne Thatcher

**Jim Cummings: **Ubu, Zombies, Dutch Businessman

**Corey Doran: **Chester

**Frank Welker: **Jan Cavendish, Zombies

**Edie McClurg: **Joan Cavendish

**Nicole Sullivan: **Tina McAvoy

**Morgan Freeman: **Lucius Fox


	213. Chill Zone, Part I

**Villain: Joe Chill Featuring: Tony Zucco, Ubu&The Shadows**

**Episode Archive: I feel like a tub filled with good things!**

**Written By: Guess who?**

**Directed By: Alan Burnett**

**Teleplay By: Joe Landsdale&Bruce Timm&Kevin Altieri**

**Art Direction: Eric Radomski&Bruce Timm**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 103: Chill Zone**

The crew of three landed Batmanless atop the police HQ building...place. They were greeted by Batgirl and the Commissioner's squared.

"What took you?" Batgirl asked

"Oy, traffic was brutal at the Midtown skyline." Robin joked

"What do you got for us chief?" Ex asked

"Hmm...ain't that the same sonofabitch who tried to off me not long ago?" the Commissioner pondered

"Uh...No, you're thinking of...my identical twin brother Nosaj."

"Sounds Arabic." Gil also pondered "But I digress."

"Anyway, some dude just jacked some crystal thing at a fancy art deco galleria in East Gotham, we thinks he's held up in the building next door."

"Not that were telling you how to do your job or anything, but make sure the crystal...thing remains in tact." Gil added "Cause were certain this country heeds no ownership of it."

"Figures." the kids sighed

"So catch this brohan, get back, and...I dunno get some sleep."

"Yes sir!"

"Good, get to work-oh wait, but before you go, anyone get word on Montoya or her secret mission?"

"Mission?" Red Hood asked

"If by mission, you mean debt to society, then yeah-shes at Arkha-mhmmnmhm." Gil quickly muffled the loose lips of Ex with his hand

"Arkham?" Chris raised an eyebrow "Was she trying to say...Arkham, VC Mason?"

"Well...yeah, and if by Arkham you mean...Arkham City, it is after all the Dutch place for all kinds of you know...Intelligence...and stuff." Gil chuckled sheepishly

"Riiiiiiiiiight." thank God he's an imbecile.

"Whew."

"Alright, get moving."

"Yes sir!" they darted off the roof towards East Gotham.

"So Gil...after all this hooey, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

"Uh I think so Chris, but if they called them sad meals no one would buy them."

"Oh Gil...If I had a bigger foot I'd kick you in the ass with it."

And now for something I think you'll really like...Over in the Dutch countryside, our team soon found themselves pursued by Ubu and his shadow goons...on gas guzzling Hummers. But make no mistake I absolutely hate Prius's as well.

"Faster Grant!"

"They're gaining!"

"Hey-it's a bus! It only goes so fast!"

"Well make it go faster dammit!" Heather yelled

"Come back here you Infidel!"

"Not a chance Ubu!"

"Say...not that this is the right time." Tina began "But I think were missing someone!" Batman and Heather shot out of their seats.

"No were not!"

"Everyone's here."

"He's right." Joan added "Were missing Trent Wayne!"

"Oh God! I lost the 6th richest man in the world!" Grant slammed his hand on the wheel "The bloody yanks will surely have my head...no offense."

"Wait a minute." Chester thought "Whose Trent Wayne?"

"Hold on a sec." Jan looked at Batman "How come you somehow show up, and Trent Wayne disappears?"

"A little suspicious if you ask me." All eyes were on Batman

"Beloved...?" -[bang]

"INFIDEL!"

"Shut-up!" Batman turned to the crowd "Guess there's no point keeping this on any longer." he took off his cowl DUN-DUN-DUN

"Gasp!"

"Gasp!"

"GASP!"

"If it'll lighten the mood, I did see you change." Maryanne added "No good?"

"No." Batman sighed.

And over to some highrise office building in East Gotham, Twas one of the upper floors to the 24 story building. Chill...who was a man easily in his mid fifties, in a brown suit and tie, with gray hair. He held a red crystal and talked into a cellular phone. He was sitting at an office desk, in the dark floor, feet up on said desk, witj a red crystal in one hand, phone in the other

"Yeah-yeah don't worry Ra's I got it...yes I am holding it in my hand right now, I am currently starring at it...no, no trouble, nothing a little elbow grease and sticktoitivness couldn't fix...I'm serious-no-no, don't you worry everything's gonna go smooth, believe me."

suddenly a Batarnag knocked the crystal from his hand.

"Uh...ha-ha-I'm-I'm a-I-I'm gonna have to call you back." he hung up, and drew a Glok 16. "Alright, whose in here?" no answer "Believe me, yous don't know who your messing with...come on you coward, you ain't taking Joey Chill without a fight!" From behind, Robin grabbed the crystal, Batgirl repelled down above him. Ex and Red Hood...were being stealthy like pros.

"So...that's how it's gonna be huh? Alright, I can respect that. I think?" he took out an emergency flare from his coat pocket (cause everyone's got one of those) "And here...we...go." he lit the flare, and tossed it to the other side of the room, illuminating Ex

"Sh*t!"

"AHA! Now I gotcha toots!" he raised the gun

"Not a chance Chill! Hi-yeah!" Batgirl dropped

"Oh no-[thud]-UNH!"

"Ha too eas-eeeeeeeeee-[thud]" Joe bounced up and knocked her against the wall...uncomfortably I might add.

"HA! I might be old...but even this old bag of bones knows he can out fight a bunch of hasbined kids in Halloween costumes!"

"Don't bet on it Chill...cause I got the Crystal...thingy." Robin held it in his hands

"And by the way...were not just hasbined kids in costumes!" Red Hood added

"You're right!" Chill shrugged

"Damn right we are!"

"You're also idiots!"

"Oh that's it-I'm gonna-whoooooa!" Joe threw Hood over his head and sunsequently right into Robin, knocking the Crystal from his hands, and right into Joe's.

"Ha, that was eas-OW! Dammit, my back...I'm getting too old for this!"

"Ow." the brother's Drake complained.

"You still got me Chill!" Ex raised her sward "You like?"

"Oh no! I'm so scared of a little girl with a Kentana and an attitude problem! How will I defeat thee?"

"Who says defeat thee?" Robin asked getting off of Red Hood's stomach

"Got me bro."

"What to do...what to do...oh I know, how bout I pump your guts full of automatic pistol bitch!" he raised

"Aw jeez!" [rapid fire]

"Duck!" Robin jumped on Chill, tackling him to the ground.

"Erg!"

"That's enough!" he yelled Chill, on the ground looked behind him to see his gun across the office.

"Crap." he sneered under his breath

"Well Chill, looks like it's the stony lonesome for you...try not to break a hip on your way up, okay pops?"

"Erg...nobody...calls me...POPS!"

"Whoa!" he knocked Robin away before he could get the Bat cuffs on him.

"That tears it, I'm really pissed now!" Chill grabbed a bag of sand from his pocket (again, cause everyone has one of those...just ask Indy Jones) "You want this damn crystal so bad, well you can have it!" he threw it into the opened elevator

"Gah!"

"Get it!"

"I saw it first!"

"Don't break it!" all four of them dashed inside. The door closed.

"Ha-ha...going down?" Joe asked shooting the mechanism in front of the door, causing the elevator to fall

"Whoooooooooooooa-[boom]" a few floors down, it got stuck."

. . .

"Ha-ha. Suckers." he held the crystal in his hands "Now to go for the roof, and wait for my pick-up before the real cops show up."

. . .

"Ha, loser! We may be stuck but at least we have the crysta...CRAP!" Batgirl held the bag of sand in her hands.

"Call Geoff!" Robin yelled

"No kidding."

"_This is Night-hacker, for all your Getting-Out-Of-Jam needs, how may I help you?"_

"Hows about you remotely fixing an elevator, nicest guy in the world." Ex said trying to pull the nice card

"_No problem crazy girl who almost killed me."_ he said back in a sarcastic compassionate voice.

"Hmm." she shook her head

"_Okay, this'll take some time."_

"So...anyone up for a story or two?" Red Hood asked

"_Hmm...what about the time I first became Robin?"_

"Sounds cool."

"Yeah."

"Tell it Geoff."

"_Alright then..."_

_-Flashback...to a long time ago.-_

_I stood parents grave stones at their funeral...it was a rainy day, next, Trent walked up next to me giving me some much needed comfort...and the dryness of his umbrella_

"_Sniff-sniff-sniff-huh?"_

"_Geoff."_

"_Mr. Wayne?"_

"_I don't wanna just stand here and give you my condolences like everybody else, that would just be too predictable...I don't like predictable. Look, I lost my parents too at a very young age, I know what it's like...sure I had their fortunes to fall back on, but there was still something missing."_

"_What-what-what was that?"_

"_Justice...my parent's killer was never brought to Justice, but maybe yours can. I want you to live with me, what do you say?"_

"_I don't...erg..."_

"_Come on...I gotta butler...who makes a mean chicken fingers." _

"_Okay...I-I guess." _

"_Super." _

_So we drove back to Wayne Manor, I remember as a young kid, it was one of the most exuberant experiences of my life...but it still couldn't overshadow the death of my parents. _

_. . ._

"_Ah Master Trent-oh, I see we'll be having company." _

"_Geoff this is my Butler Alfred Pennyworth."_

_How do you do?" I hid behind Trent "Oh?"_

"_He's shy, funeral, and all."_

"_Yes of course, we've all been there." _

_So for the next few months, I got used to living life with Trent, to make this story go a little quicker, we can fast-forward to a year later, after I woke up from a bad dream about their deaths_

"_Gasp!" that's when Alfred walked in_

"_Master Geoffrey."_

"_Y-Yes Alfred."_

"_Follow me." _

_Alfred took me to the study and I saw we were facing this large clock _

"_You've seen the James Bond movies right?"_

"_Y-Yes."_

"_Good, then this won't come to too much of a shock." he opened it up, revealing a long staircase, he started down, I admit, I was a tad nervous "Well, don't be shy, wouldn't want to keep Master Trent waiting would we?"_

_So Alfred led me down the winding staircase, until we reached our destination._

_The Bat-Cave_

"_Whoa...I-I've only heard of this place...but I...I-I never dreamed it was legit."_

"_Oh, it's legit alright." Trent dressed as Batman appeared, with his cowl off._

"_Trent...y-you're-"_

"_That's right Geoff, I'm Batman." _

"_Whoa...too cool!"_

"_Yes, this is something I've started up recently, to avenge the streets just like the first Batman, whoever he is." he walked over to me "Look, for the passed year, I haven't just been raising you-"_

"_Ahem."_

"_Helping to raise you, I admit I've been observing you...and you're definitely what I need to help join the family secret." he went over to a table_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I mean tonight you, are going to get justice on your parent's killer." he held up the OLD costume "As Robin."_

"_Robin?" I said unimpressed_

"_That's what I said." Alfred added_

"_Shut-up, it's all I could think of."_

"_Well, I'm in, if I remember correctly." I was trying to get the suit on. "A guy by the name of-"_

"_Tony Zucco, big mob guy, tried to sell you insurance, I know his kind, he probably rigged the trapeze so it would break during their routine, and, I hid a tracker under his car, so we can follow him easy, now let's move it!"_

"_You bet...Batman." _

_So...Tony, and some other guy were driving their car along the East Borough Bridge._

"_Gotta say Joey, this insurance racket is a pretty nice gig."_

"_I know, and you doubted me."_

"_Yup, I remember though, last year, there was only one group who refused to pay..."_

"_Who?"_

"_Some circus freaks, but boy did I put them in their place I did...yup I sure di-boom-whoa!" they swerved and hit a side railing, the passenger, who was disoriented bailed, Joe something was his name, I don't remember, he was so out of it, he rolled off the bridge_

"_Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-[splash]" survived...I think "Ha! And they said this could kill ya! But ow did it hurt!"_

_. . ._

"_Ugh...unh...uh-huh-YOU!" Zucco saw Batman on the hood of his car_

"_Tony Zucco. You scum!"_

"_Ha, I don't have to deal with you Splatman! You're nothing but a wash! I got my own methods in dealing with the likes of you!" he took out a small gun and fired through the windshield [bang-bang-bang]_

"_Huh-AHHHH!" one shot hit his shoulder! Zucco got out _

"_Ha, you're not that tough, say goodnight Bats, why don't you join those circus freaks i-[oof]" so I sideswiped him _

"_Why you little-[oof]" then I slammed him against the car door. I was pissed "Who...who the f*ck are you?"_

"_The names Robin, GET IT!" I put the fear of God into him, cause he was sure looking away "Hey-you-you, look at me-LOOK AT ME! See this face?" he nodded "Good. Now...this is for Batman-[punch]_

"_OOF!"_

"_This is for Dad-[super punch]"_

"_AW!" he was nearly out of it, then I moved him to the edge._

"_No Robin!"_

"_No...no please-NO!"_

"_This one...this ones for Ma-"_

"_NOOO!" _

"_Hi-yeah!"_

"_OOF!" I threw him against the car. "Relax, Batman, he doesn't get off that easy." I smirked. The paramedics arrived soon after. The other guy, wet, and soggy was across the river_

"_Weak." he shook his head. _

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	214. Chill Zone, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

"INFIDEL!" -[bang-boom-verooooooooom!]

"That does it!" Batman griped "Still got those guns?"

"Of course we do sonny were not imbeciles!" Chester whined "What was I holding again-ah I'll figure it out."

Ubu and his two caravans of shadows continued to barrage the bus with blows from their beamers...of course I mean the Hummers it just looked good.

"Master Ubu, this isn't working!" the driver to one of the shadow drivers commented

"I don't recall asking for for your suggestions, just do as I command and hit that bus!"

"Ugh, yes Master Ubu."

"And keep on them!"

"Yes sir!"

. . .

"Alright, outrunning them seems to be out of the question." Jan complained

"Like I said shoot em up!"

"What about you Hon?" Joan asked

"Again, I don't like guns."

"Right."

"Just Quit Batman!" Ubu yelled

"Not a chance Ubu!" Heather yelled

"Oh yeah?"

"YEAH!"

"Yeah?"

"YEAH!"

"...Ye-"

"YES DAMMIT!"

"Okay you don't have to scream...well now you can, hit it!"

BANG

The Hummer hit the bus so hard it knocked Batman out of his seat, causing his Forget-Me-Bat Spray to fumble out of the belt, and discharge in the direction of Tina, Jan, and Joan.

"Crap! I needed that stuff!" suddenly the three infected looked at Batman

"Hey!"

"It's Batman!"

"When did he get here!"

"When did Superman get here?"

"Think it's safe to say Chester is okay?" Heather shrugged

"I suppose so."

"Oh I forgot we were being chased!" Tina noticed the Shadows on their butts.

"Not for long!" Chester pointed his BAR out the window.

"Hey look!"

"It's that old loser!"

"This'll be easy!" the shadows in the other Hummer's laughed

"Yeah-yeah, laugh it up you cob-swallower's! You won't be laughing for long once I do this-[bang-bang-bang]"

"Oh shi-"

"No!"

"This can't be!"

"Hold on!

VERRRRRRRR-SPLASH!

"Ha! That's how we did it in Normandy Bitch...or was it Okinawa?"

Both Hummer's collided into each other after Chester shot their front tires, and they collided into a small pond.

"Oh, the master will surely make me pay for those." Ubu complained, him being the only one in pursuit "Step on it!"

"Yes sir!"

. . .

"We still got that last one!" Maryanne added

"Ubu? Ah, his bark's worse than his bite."

"You sure?" Grant asked "He doesn't look the part."

"Oh believe me, he is." Heather insisted. "Watch."

"Wait-wait-wait...wait, you're not going to anger him?" Maryanne asked

"Are you?" Grant finished

"Of course."

"Ugh...This is the LAST trip." Grant promised. Heather poked her head out the window

"Hey Ubu!"

"Miss Ghul! Your father has instructed-"

"My father has instructed-blah-blah-blah, when are you gonna stop taking orders from that bag of bones!"

"But-he...But I?"

"Exactly...cause your too much of a wuss."

"I am not!"

"Are too!"

"ARE NOT!"

"Are too."

"Master Ubu, please focus!"

"What you-oh my G-[splash]" Both had stopped focusing and the last Hummer careened off into a stream below a bridge the bus drove over. Ubu ducked his head up in rage. "AHHHHHHHHHH!"

"And that's how it's done." Heather smiled

"That's my girl." Batman smirked

And now over to the elevator, The kids were climbing up the shaft of the elevator to get to Chill.

"Alright, just another...12 floors to go." Batgirl sighed.

"Anyone up for another story?" Robin asked

"Of course!"

"It would be nice to see the old spirits lifted

"Why don't you tell your origin Robin." Batgirl suggested

"Alright...I remember it like it was yesterday, when in fact...it was 5 years ago."

_Flashback numero deuce _

_Robin IE Geoff, and Batman were doing their nightly rounds one evening, not a block away from, guess where? Whitman's Fine Jewelry N Things. _

"_No-no-no!"_

"_I'm just saying-"_

"_Night-wing? That just sounds lame."_

"_No it sounds cool! Besides, life's moving pretty fast for me, and Robin is starting to get old if you know what I mean."_

"_I know what you mean Geoff, but come on-"_

_[ding-aling-aling-aling]_

"_Whoa, hold that thought there Senior Gruesome, it's time to work!" _

"_Right behind ya...Night-wing." _

_And who should dash out from Whitman's Fine Jewelry N Thing's but a still aging Joe Chill, with two bumbling henchmen, Mark and Dee, each with bags of Jewelry and Things slung over their shoulders._

"_This way you morons, before the Batman shows up!"_

"_Yes sir!" _

"_Come on come on, through this ally way."_

"_Were coming."_

"_Keep your pants on boss."_

_Meanwhile, down that Ally, a young me was rummaging through a dumpster for dinner, as I was hungry from a lack of food._

"_What the...come on, who throws away a half eaten box of donuts?" Chef? _

"_come on you slow pokes!"_

"_Huh?" they ran right into me "Hey watch it!"_

"_Beat it kid!"_

"_Yeah you don't know who your messing with!" the other guy was bringing up the rear _

"_Aw dammit! Why are you idiots stopping?"_

"_Some kid just trying to play hero boss."_

"_Cripes."_

"_What should we do?" Dee asked_

"_Surrender if you know what's good for ya!"_

"_Good one...we don't have time for this, cut him up, and be quick about it!"_

"_Yes sir!" they both drew switchblades_

"_Gulp." _

"_Get rid of him, and be quick about it!" _

"_I don't think so." I got in a fighting stance...and gulped again _

"_Ha-ha, kill him."_

"_Yes sir." they took a jab, then_

"_Hi-yeah!" I socked one of em_

"_Aw!" then elbowed the other hard._

"_GAH!" which unfortunately that third guy used that time to get away. Then I did one of those cool duo judo kicks "HI-YEAH!" and I disemboweled them both. "SUCK IT!" I turned around to see the real Robin clapping, with Batman jumping in _

"_Not bad kid, not bad at all." _

"_What's your name?"_

"_M-My name?" I was so dumbstruck_

"_Yeah, you have a name right?"_

"_C-C-C-Cody Drake, I'm an orphan."_

"_Yeah kid I know what that's like."_

"_Hmm...well I simply cannot have this." Batman smiled "And I like the potential in you."_

"_Hmm...and I think I can fix my little name-sake issue."_

"_What do you say Cody?"_

"_I say...YES!"_

_It took lots of time and effort, but I became the new Robin._

_End Flashback_

"That's my story, and dammit I'm sticking to it."

"Cool."

"It does sound a little far fetched." Batgirl pondered

"Oh like yours is any better?"

"You bet."

The kids found themselves one floor below the roof, Chill would be upstairs awaiting for a helicopter.

"So, tell us." Sara insisted

"alright, alright."

_Final Flashback!_

_I must admit I had a bit of an...obsession with joining the Bat Team, I would do anything to get myself noticed, I even made a makeshift Batgirl costume. Sure enough, one evening I was on top of a building in downtown when I saw a suspiciously looking fellow dash across the other ledge of the building_

"_Hmm." I looked through binoculars "Well that looks suspicious alright." I used my makeshift Bat hook to swing across._

_But of course, you know who was watching_

"_Crap, her again." he gets that a lot _

"_Hey you!"_

"_Huh-[smack]" I smacked him right at a window. "Hmm, seems Bats added a woman...weak."_

"_Hey! I'm kicking your ass right now-man! And uh...I'm not an official member as of late-[smack]-Ah!"_

"_Yeah I can tell." he dashed towards a nearby building, and nearly fell off "Whoa! Ugh, I'm getting too old for this." he climbed right up. _

"_Yeah, well I'm not pops!" I jumped over with ease and was right on his tail._

"_Grr! I'm sick of you people!"_

"_Really, is that right!"_

"_You're freaking multiplying, and I ain't getting any younger!"_

"_Well then it's...good for us then!"_

"_No wonder you ain't part of the team! You don't even have good puns!"_

"_I'll show you puns!"_

"_And there you go again."_

"_Grr!"_

"_Come on Fake-Girl, catch me if you can!" _

"_Believe me I will!"_

"_No...you...WON'T!" with everything he got, he leaped to another building._

"_Whoa." I almost fell, but was grabbed by the cape and pulled back up "Whew, thanks-gasp." I then noticed who my rescuer was. "Oh."_

"_This is the last time Ms. Gordon." _

"_Oh come on, I had him-I had him!"_

"_Had him from what? What was he doing?"_

"_Who knows, but it was probably no good."_

"_Whatever, the point is, you can't keep putting your life in danger!"_

"_But-"_

"_No buts..." he cupped my chin "Without the proper training of course...Batgirl." he handed me a slip of paper "Come to this address tomorrow."_

"_But...this is...Wayne Manor." I looked up, and he was gone "How did he...?"_

_End Flashback_

"And more training later, I was Batgirl."

"You know...the way you've described hat one variable in all your stories...it got me to thinking." Red Hood pondered

"What?"

"I think I know what he's saying..." Ex continued "He kinda sounds...like...GASP!"

"It was Chill!" upon reflex they broke through the locked doorway, and were surprised to see Chill standing on the ledge of a chopper about to take off, gun pointed at them

"Surprise! Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" [rapid fire]

"Duck!"

Everyone ducked out of the way, Chill emptied the clip, and the chopper flew away

"You got lucky Bat-hasbines! More than what I can say about Tommy and Martha Wayne! So long losers Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"What?"

"Did he just say?"

"...He did...Joe Chill...killed..."

"Trent's parents." the kids headed home, defeated.

Back in Holland, Batman and Heather were making their last goodbyes.

"I trust we can work in the future?" Batman asked Grant

"You know where to find us...after all you did crash into our shop in London."

"I did...oh, you must mean...never mind." he turned to Maryanne. "Good luck with him."

"Believe me I'll need it." Tina then ran for a hug

"Batman it was so cooleo to meet you, I can't wait to tell everyone back in DC."

"Nice to meet you too Tina." he turned to the Cavendish's.

"Guys-oh." Joan gave him a proper hug

"Thank you, for helping us!"

"Yes, you really turned our vacay around."Jan added

"My pleasure...and you know what, you guys turned mine around too." and then there was Chester.

"chest-"

"Aw spare the mushy stuff Superman, it was no problem."

"O...kay then." he then turned to Heather "Where to?"

"...Home James." she smirked

"Alright then."

The two flew for home, but got a call from Geoff in the airport beforehand

"_You'll never guess who the kids ran into tonight...the most gruesome, totally ridiculously insa-"_

"Let me guess, Joe Chill...the man who killed my parents?"

"_Y-Yeah...are you that good?"_

"Well yes, but I'm watching the news here at the airport, Ryder's doing an exclusive, apparently he stole a crystal?"

"_I think so."_

"Look, keep on that, but tell them they did a good job, I'm proud of them, and I'll be back in the morning."

"_cool."_

. . .

"Alright Chill...now...you've gone too far-dammit, what is Ra's up to?"

**The End**

**And now ladies and germs, it's time to rock n' ride, and ride free with the Biker Mice! I am so uber excited for this one! Get ready to get...Miceified! See ya!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Night-hacker

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Pennyworth/The Exterminator

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Charlie Adler: **Joe Chill

**Jim Cummings: **Ubu

**Danny Cooksey: **Young Geoff Grayson

**Rob Paulsen: **Vice Commissioner Gil Mason

**Rachel Wilson: **Heather Al Ghul

**Clive Revill: **Young Alfred Pennyworth

**Niko56: **Young Cody Drake

**Tara Strong: **Young Bridgette Gordon

**Diedrich Bader: **Tony Zucco, Various Shadows

**Jess Harnell: **Grant Thatcher

**Diane Pershing: **Maryanne Thatcher

**Mark Hamill: **Various Shadows, Mark

**Dee Bradley Baker: **Various Shadows, Dee

**Corey Doran: **Chester

**Edie McClurg: **Joan Cavendish

**Frank Welker: **Jan Cavendish

**Nicole Sullivan: **Tina McAvoy


	215. No Easy Way Out, Part I

**Villain(s): Mrs. Freeze, Bane Featuring: Ronaldo Rump (Special Guest Appearance)**

**Episode Archive: LET'S ROCK, AND RIDE!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Eric Radomski**

**Teleplay By: Rick Ungar&Tom Tataronowicz**

**Art Direction: Dennis Venizelos&Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 104: No Easy Way Out**

A tired Trent Wayne, plopped down onto his bed, after returning home from the Netherlands. It was nearly 7 in the morning. He figured another sick day was in order.

[riiiiiiing-riiiiiiing]-wrong.

"...Dammit." he sighed. Half asleep Trent slammed his fist down on his nightstand until the phone fell off the receiver and onto his tired hand "...Wayne..."

"_I hope the next words out of your mouth aren't sick day Mr. Wayne."_

"What's wrong now Lucius?"

"_Oh nothing...just a big important business magnate from Chicago in for some business, he's in your office right now."_

"I'll be right in." Trent hung up. "...Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"Ah, I thought I heard the scream of disappointment, rise and shine Master Trent." Alfred entered the room with tea.

"Ugh. Morning Alfred..." he sipped some tea "I'd say it's a good morning, but then I'd be lying." he sat up in his bed. "Some tycoon from Chitown is in for a little negotiation, I'm not sure for what, all I know is I gotta be there." he went for his closet to get dressed.

"I'm sure everything will go smoothly sir." Alfred assured him

"Do they ever Alfred...do they ever?"

"Eh...not really no."

"That's what I thought."

So Trent drove all the way to his place of business, completely unaware of the icy fog emerging from the sewers beneath. He yawned stepping out of the elevator, Lucius was right outside his office.

"Mr. Wayne."

"How were the Masters?"

"You know it's-a funny thing...I don't like golf. How was your trip?"

"...Uneventful."

"Do I really wanna-"

"Nope. Just tell me who this rich guy is so we can get this crap over with."

"Well from what I know his name is Ronaldo Rump-"

"THE Ronaldo Rump?"

"Yes sir."

"The same Rump who owns like...half of Chicago?"

"That'd be the one Mr. Wayne."

. . .

"Mr. Rump! How the heck are ya!" Trent flung the doors to his office open enthusiastically.

"Oh, I'm-a pleased to meet you Mr. Wayne, please-please, Ronaldo."

"Oh please sir, call me Trent." they shook hands

Rump was as his name suggests...he had a really fat ass, he looked slightly Latino, with a small mustache, and neck high hair.

"This is Lucius Fox, Vice President and Manager of all Company Operations."

"Hello sir."

"Pleased to meet you. Okay Trent I didn't just come in here to say the hellos and the goodbyes, I came here to talks the turkey, yes?"

"Of course."

"There is a strip of land, not far away on Long Island, that no one's using." Rump threw down a map "My plan is, to develop there huh? Both our companies, making new homes for those in need...and a factory or two for our products, yes?"

"Not a bad idea."

"I think we may have to sleep on it though." Lucius insisted looking at the map

"Eh?"

"It is a big decision Mr. Rump, Lucius is right, I'll call you tomorrow with more of the details, savvy?"

"Yes-yes of course Trent, I will await yours and Lucius's decision with the baited breath, yes?"

"Good. And mark my words, the right decision will be made." Trent assured him

"I should hope so, I do look forward to our working in the future, good day gentlemen." he left the office. Chuckling.

"I hope you know what you're getting us into?" Lucius crossed his arms

"Oh what you mean besides more land, developments, and profit?"

"since when do you care bout all that?"

"Since Ronaldo Rump could help us put Wayne Enterprises even more on the map then what we were." Besides Lucius, it's an undeveloped piece of useless land in the middle of Long Island, what's the worse that can happen?"

"Like I said Mr. Wayne...I hope you know what you're doing, guys like Rump...they're as crooked as a pretzel." Lucius left Trent with those words.

"Eh, whatever...yes!" he said to himself

Trent rushed home after work, the smile of a good business deal never left his face, he even forgot he was tired.

"Master Trent?" Alfred asked

"That's my name."

"You seem excited-"

"Oh I am Alfred, guess who Wayne Enterprises is about to make a major deal with?"

"...I couldn't say sir?"

"THE Ronaldo Rump."

"...Oh." Alfred's smile faded

"Oh come on buddy, aren't you happy for me?"

"Well sir...not really?"

"You're starting to sound like Lucius, why?"

"Men like him are-"

"Let me guess, crooked as a pretzel?"

"I was going to say corrupt as a politician, but that works too."

"Ugh, why is it that when I'm happy, no one else can be?"

"I just hope you'll make the right decision."

"Believe me, I will."

After a quick evening's rounds, a really tired Trent hit the sack that evening...or, should I say morning.

"Ah...they don't know what they're talking about...I know I'm making the right decision...I know I am...I know...I...Zzzzzzzzzz." he drifted to sleep.

Not soon after Trent's phone rang

[riiiiiiiiiiiiiiing-riiiiiiiiiiiiing]

"Never fails." he sighed, and picked it up "H-Hello?"

"_You busy?"_

"...No Ham I wasn't doing anything important at all just...I dunno-SLEEPING!"

"_Who sleeps anymore?"_

"Ha-ha." he rubbed his temples "So, what's up?"

"_The temperatures are at unusually lows, so low, ice and fog are seeping up."_

"...And? They're just sewers."

"_It could mean something-"_

"It could mean nothing, just leave it and catch a few Zz's will ya-"

"_What's up with you Trent, normally you would jump at these kinds of opportunities, what the hell is wrong?"_

"What can I say I'm in a good mood."

"_Well I'm checking it out, when you feel guilty cause you didn't join me, I'll be at the corner of 1st and Burlesque...sub-ground."_

"Sigh." Trent rubbed his temples again "Gimme 10 minutes."

"_Thank you." V-Bat hung up._

"Erg...F*ck!"

Batman headed for the location lickedy-split. The manhole cover was already opened slightly. He could notice the ice on the inside of the tunnel and the frost.

"Well at least he wasn't kidding." Batman jumped down, when he landed on a patch of ice, he slipped

"Whoa-whoa-[splat]-aw...he really wasn't kidding."

"I know." V-Bat emerged from the shadows "I don't normally."

"So...what the hell?" Batman asked

"I'm not sure, I've been down here for hours, and all I could come up with was more ice, more frost, and more questions."

"Wait a second...ice...frost...see the connection?"

"Mrs. Freeze?"

"Exactly."

"But what would Dora Smithy have to gain from freezing all the tunnels?" V-Bat asked

"Who knows, it's always a crazy scheme with her."

"Actually, this one makes a little sense Bat Vermin!" suddenly her silhouette appeared out of the blue.

"FREEZE!"

"Man that get's old." she fired a shot at V-Bat, instantly freezing him

"Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh..."

"V-Bat!"

"Now it's your turn Batman!" she turned to him

"Not likely." he jumped to the ledge across the sewer canal, over the frigid waters. He tossed two Batarnags in her direction...missing her completely.

"Ha you missed!"

"I...I missed-[oof]" he hit the wall on the other side "Ugh...maybe this new deal is screwing up my game." he said to himself.

"Well-well, looks as though you're off your game Batman-ha-ha-ha, too bad for you, I'm not!" she fired, sticking his legs to the ground.

"Erg-erg-dammit!"

"Hmm-hmm-hmm oh Batman you're kinda tense, pardon the cliché, but you need to chill out!" would have worked in the last episode. Anyway she froze the rest of him

"Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh..."

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha..."

. . .commercial. . .

"Ugh-ugh...ugh." Batman was regaining conciseness, only for his firs image to be Freeze, who had him hanging upside down for some reason.

"Wakey-wakey." she said devilishly

"Erg-erg-ugh."

Him and V-Bat were inside a makeshift control room in the sewers, they were both still frozen, only their heads out of the ice encasing them.

"Oh goodie-good you're both awake...fantastic."

"What's the scam this time freeze?" V-Bat asked

"Glad you asked...it's actually not my plan but-"

"My plan." Batman gasped at the man who came into view

"Rump!"

"I'm pleased you know of me Mr. Batman...and his older fighting companion."

"Humph."

"For I've hired this lovely Cocina here-." he smirked cupping Freeze's chin...who giggled

"Tee-hee."

"To help me freeze the catacombs below Gotham, strictly so I can get your attention."

"Why?" Batman asked

"Because...you, are the world's greatest detectives yes?"

"Well-"

"Come on-"

"Were-not, were not that good-"

"Yes-yes-yes hold the mushiness for some other time...With you too out of my way, no one will be able stop my glorious and excellent plan of using that land outside of town, which WILL be mine once Trent Wayne makes his decision." V-Bat turned to Batman who gave him the 'I didn't know' look. "I will make a missile base, with missiles strong enough to help my friends the Catarkians, to blow up their number 1 target and nuisance...Mars." the two gasped

"So, now what?" Freeze asked

"Now my pequeno frio muchacha, we wait for Mr. Wayne to call." he stll got glares from V-Bat.

JUST THEN, the wall exploded

"cough-cough!"

"What the?"

"Ya-hoo!"

"Looks like we found him!"

"Gasp! Who are they!"

"It's them! The Biker Mice!"

Inside the room, three motorcycles screeched to a halt, on them a large mouse of a different color fur, a woman with short, darkened hair was on the back of one of the bikes.

"Modo! Vinnie! Get those two down!" the one yelled

"Yes sir!" the two mice, one gray, one white knocked the ice off the Batmen and carried their limp and numb bodies back to their bikes

"Got em."

"Right, you ready to...ice these two Charley girl?"

"Let's take em down!" with laser blasters, they shot up the place, Rump and Freeze-

"Take cover!" yeah that. Freeze kept blasting away as the motorcycles zoomed down the sewer highway.

"Erg! Those cursed rodents, they'll ruin my plans!" he turned to Freeze "We have to get the Batmen back!"

"Sure thing Ronnie..." she stood up "But we'll need help."

"Agreed...I'll call the Cat-"

"no need Rumpy, that'll take too long...I got another fella in mind...someone, really-really big."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	216. No Easy Way Out, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

In a clearing in the sewers, the cycles stopped, they assumed it would be safe

"Okay, I think were away from old lard butt." the brown mouse said "Modo help me lay these two down."

"Yes sir." the gray mouse obliged. Batman and V-Bat were calmly laid on the ground, their bodies were becoming less numb.

"Ugh." Batman stood up "Well that wasn't exactly how I planned it, but..." he picked his friend up "You alright V-Baaaaa-aw!" V-Bat slammed him against the wall

"What the-"

"Vincent wait!" the brown mouse snapped

"You idiot!" V-Bat snarled "How could you make a business deal with that-that-that-that-"

"Lard butt?"

"Lard face?"

"Lard man?"

"All of the above! How could you! After all you stand for you go and do something like this?"

"How was I supposed to know he was gonna-"

"You're a Fortune 500 businessman whose forgotten more about the business than I'll learn-FIGURE IT THE FUCK OUT!"

"Uh, gentlemen-"

"AND YOU!"

"Oof!" V-Bat dropped Batman and turned to the four "The last thing we need in this city is more costumed kids in masks! This show is slowly turning into Scooby-f*cking-Doo!"

"Uh...were not-"

"Shut it Robo-cop!" he snapped at the gray mouse

"But I like this arm."

"It's okay big guy." V-Bat walked to the white mouse.

"Hey!" he started to stretch his face

"Take the mask off, come on...erg...erg."

"Hey-hey hands off the merchandise!"

"Why won't...your mask...come off!"

"Cause it's not a mask man!" the girl took V-Bat's hands off.

"I think they're right." Batman added

The gray mouse was the largest of the three, he had on an interesting purple and orange armored vest covering his chest, and purple shoulder pads. He also sported an eyepatch around his left eye. His most interesting feature was his right robotic arm. An arm which could transform into weapons.

The white mouse sported no shirt. He was also quite ripped like the others, but the smallest in comparison. He did wear two green bandoliers strung on both sides of the body. A purple neckerchief was worn on his neck. His most interesting feature was the metal plate covering the right side of his face.

The brown mouse, was the unofficial leader. He too wore no shirt, but did wear a black vest, and a red neckerchief. He also had hair on top of his head instead of just fur which was combed down. His most interesting feature was the pair of stylish green Oakley looking sunglasses. Each mouse did wear jeans with a belt with the same mouse emblem on the buckle, and they had a pair of red antennas on top of their heads.

As for the girl, she wore a tight fitting light blue shirt, and a black leather biker's jacket, also in jeans. She did wear boots, and had short purple colored hair.

"Well, if you are real, then who are you?" V-Bat asked

"Were-The Biker Mice From Mars!" they chanted

"Oh and Charley too." the white mouse added

"You have got to be kidding me." Batman did a facepalm

"No way bro, they are legit." Charley assured them

"Really? You guys have your own show named after you." Batman added

"WHAT!"

"Why weren't we told about this?" The white mouse asked the gray one

"Beats me bro."

"Anyway...Batmen, uh, my names Throttle." the brown mouse said "The annoying one is Vincent."

"Hey! Erg, just call me Vinnie."

"And the big guy over there is Modo."

"Nice to meet you both, we've heard so much about you."

"So...what's the deal with you guys and Rump?" Batman asked

"We could ask you both the same thing." Charley pondered

"It was just frustration that's all." V-Bat added

"Yeah, my friend...made an unfortunate deal with him without knowing all the details, so he blindly slept on the decision." Batman explained

"Trent Wayne?" Vinnie asked

"I love that guy." Modo added "Nice, honest, and never met a woman he didn't like."

"Yeah ha-ha. That's him alright." Batman chuckled sheepishly

"You'll help us stop them, won't you?" Throttle asked

"I dunno...will we?" V-Bat asked looking at Batman, who put on an angry face

"Of course we will...no planet is getting destroyed on my watch." V-Bat grinned

"Cooleo, were actually going to work with both Batmen." Vinnie said getting his fan boy on

"This is gonna be so excit-"

"Man, it reeks of Fandom in here." Charley joked holding her nose

"Charley's right bros, we gotta take this seriously." Throttle added "So...anyone got any bright ideas?"

"We should go back and see what they're doing to find us." Batman added

"Good plan, couldn't have thought of it any better myself." Throttle agreed "You guys can ride with me and Modo, Charley rides with Vincent-"

"Not cause I want to." she snapped

"Yes you do." Vinnie cooed

"Whatever, let's just go." they hopped on the bikes, V-Bat whispered to Batman

"Ever notice how Throttle-"

"Sounds just like Snatch? Yeah, old news bro."

"Alright bros-let's rock-

"AND RIDE!" they sped down the line.

Meanwhile back at Freeze's evil sewer lair, (Which would prove more fitting to the Ninja Turtles) Rump paced about the floor.

"Where is this huge guy you keep telling me about?"

"Patience Rumpy, Bane's probably picking up flowers, or making a platter of something, he likes that." suddenly the room began to shake, and another wall was pushed in, Bane stepped inside.

"Dora?"

"Bane, so nice to see you again!"

"You too, I brought you this lovely bouquet of flowers, and a platter of hashbrown casserole."

"Aw, thanks Bane."

"No problem...are...those fangs?"

"Huh, oh yeah, new side effect from the LN, I kinda like em...so Rumpy, what do you think?"

"What do I think...HE'S A GIANT PUSSY!"

"Sniff-no I'm not." Bane sobbed

"Rumpy-Rumpy, believe me, there's two thing's Bane hates, ruined food-"

"That's why I hate Ruby Tuesday's."

"And his enemies...like the Batmen."

"I HATE THEM!" Bane snapped punching a hole in the wall.

"Hmm...I am impressed, Mr. Bane what is your opinion on mice, huh?"

Meanwhile, the team was riding down through the sewers, when suddenly-

"Hey...Hey, Throttle, stop!" Batman ordered

"Convoy, Halt!" he ordered

"Yeah, right here. Perfect."

"What's wrong Batman?" Charley asked

"I regret to say I'm gonna have to separate from you." right under another pipe, Batman jumped

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, don't worry, I'm gonna fix this, just go and get Rump if you can...or I will." he crawled away

"...Alright then."

"Ride free citizen!" Throttle saluted "Alright, let's roll on bros." Batman crawled through the next sewer above

"Believe me Rump, no one makes a fool of Trent Wayne, and gets away with it." Heather did.

Anyway back at the lair, the mice had broken in

"Ya-hoo!"

"Yee-haw!"

"Gah!"

"The mice!"

"What's good Rump?"

"Miss us?"

"I know you did!"

"Biker Mice From Mars...and Charlene."

"I'm so happy you included me." she rolled her eyes

"I have for you a surprise, of which I'm sure it'll be certain you'll never bother me ever again." he snapped his fingers "Oh Mr. Bane!" suddenly Bane appeared, all juiced up and such.

"Rats...I HATE RATS!" he fumed

"Hey!" Modo screamed, his open eye suddenly became red "My Grey furred mamma didn't raise no rat!"

"Were mice." Throttle added

"Oh, well then I like mice, they're cute."

"I asked you how you felt about mice and said right to my face, and screamed I hate them." Rump added

"Oh...I thought you meant the Biker Mice, hate that show."

"Well start hating cause we are the biker-[clamp]-gah...mice." Vinnie was suddenly in Bane's clutches "Uh bros...little...help here." he coughed

"He'll choke him!" Charley warned

"Get off my bro!" Modo yelled, a blaster gun appeared from his robotic arm, blasting Vinnie out

"Yah!"

"...Thanks Big guy."

"Oh Bane darling...sick em." Freeze ordered.

"Damned Biker Mice will pay!"

"Pay for what?"

"What did we do?"

"We didn't even know we had a show!"

"I bet I look good though-"

"SHUT-UP VINNIE!"

"Raaaaaaaaaah!"

"Yuck, anyone ever introduce you to mouth wash big fella?" Vinnie asked

"I have an idea bros! Vincent, Modo, go take Bane here for a ride!" Throttle ordered

"Yes sir!" they hopped on their bikes

"After them Mr. Bane!" Rump ordered Bane chased after them

"We'll take the Icebox!"

"Love it." V-Bat activated a jet pack "Let's hit it!"

"alright you Mama-jamas, let's rock n ride!" Charley hopped on the back of Throttle's bike

"I got em Rump." Freeze chased after them.

"Good. Hmm, strange...i didn't see Batman with them." he pondered

First up to Modo and Vinnie, who were chasing Bane down a another corridor in the sewers, both unaware of what was in front of them

"Get back here!"

"You didn't say please."

"Mt Grey furred mamma always taught me manners come first, and when has she ever been wrong?" Modo asked

"Not often big guy, not often."

"I'm gonna smash you all into powder!"

"I stirred with some milk, we'd make a mean protein shake." Modo shrugged

"Ha-ha, I can see it now, Biker Mice Brand Protein Pow-"

"Vinnie, look out!"

"Huh-WHOA!" the two ditched their bikes in time to see them hurl over the side of a water fall, dumping the bikes in the large detention lake below, skis were activated, and their bikes floated

"Whew."

"Good thing Charley installed those, activated-when-wet, Ski...thingy-ma-jigs." Vinnie smiled

"Yeah, way to go Charley ma'am, way to go."

"NOW I GOTCHA!" Bane stepped forward.

"Yipe."

"You thinking, what I'm thinking Vinnie?"

"Aim for the bikes?"

"Hell yeah bro." they did a fist pound.

"Uh, Foo fighters, a little chorus if you would?" Vinnie asked, then they jumped

_There goes my hero! Watch him as he goes!_

_[instrumental]_

_There goes my hero! He's ordinary!_

_[instrumental]_

_Don't go fas-[record scratches] _[SPLASH]

"Ah, nothing like a nice relaxing dip in the sewers." Vinnie said as he started to float by his bike

"Whoa-whoa-AHHHHHH!" Bane fell with them "Ah! I forgot I can't swim!" he suddenly stopped in mid air "Oh wait, yes I can" then he fell again "But not sewer water! Ahhhhhhhhh-[splash]" he submerged, knocked out "Unh..."

"Well, that worked." Vinnie shrugged

"Not how we planned, but hey; works for me." Modo shrugged

Over to the other team they were working over Freeze elsewhere in the sewers.

"Grr! No fair, there's too many of you!" she complained

"You're obviously new so I'll break it down for you!" Throttle added

"We don't play fair!" Charley added

"Yeah, so just give it up already icebox!"

"Hey." she stopped "You sound awfully famili-[bonk]-OW!" she fell as a batarang hit her from V-Bat

"And that, as they say, is that." he smirked apprehending her.

Back at the lair of Rump he waited for his minions return...fat chance of that, he was in an unfortunate situation...right above him was another sewer pipe...guess who was inside it? Come on, guess!

"What the hell is taking them so lo-[oof]-GAH!" he looked up from being pounced on, it was Batman, mad as hell

"Oh jeez-aw!" Batman knocked him around for a beat or two, then held him against a wall.

"Listen to me Rump and listen good! Nobody...and I mean NOBODY! Makes a fool of me, and gets away with it, and NOBODY, blows up another plant and gets away with it, comprende?"

"Ches-ches I understand."

"I don't think you do...so, how about my friend Mr. Sewer water helps you remember?"

"Wait, what!" Batman kicked open another portion of wall, which behind it was a large drop leading into another detection lake

"Perfect...swim well?" Rump shook his head in fear

"Well then, looks like you'll need a lifeguard." he grabbed Rump, and ran for the opening

"No-no-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

. . .

"GAH-pant...pant...pant." Trent suddenly awoke in his bed, all sweaty, and damp and such, it was morning. "Whew...what a crazy dream." he thought to himself "Thank God it wasn't real, no sewers, no mice, and no blowing up any planets." he grabbed his phone and headed downstairs "Now to just call Rump." he walked passed the living room, where Cody and Jason were in fact watching Biker Mice From Mars.

"Morning Trent."

"What's up Big guy, you look thrashed."

"Uh...long night."

"Yeah looks that way."

"Anything interesting happen?"

"...Nah, not really." he walked into the kitchen "Smells like breakfast." he sat at the breakfast nook, and a plate of food and stuff rode to him "Thanks Alfred." he then looked at the food "Huh, Hotdogs and root beer?"

"My specialty."

"Gasp!" he looked up to see VINNIE in a chef's hat. Throttle was next to him eating some chips. Modo and Charley were nearby

"So, it wasn't a dream...then that means-"

"Come on Mr. Wayne, business deal, you being pissed, your name coming up." Modo explained

"I may have the IQ of a raisin, but I ain't dumb." Vinnie said proudly, chuckles filled the kitchen

"Juries still out on that one Vincent." Throttle laughed

"But...but-but, I woke up, it-it felt like a dr-"

"You fell asleep when you hit the water with Rump." Charley added

"He got away sadly, but lucky Vinnie and I were nearby to fish you out."

"As for your friend, Mr. Hill was feeling a little woozy too, so we too him home, and don't worry, your secret's safe." Throttle added

"Well alri-" his phone buzzed "A text from Rump." everyone gathered around "Deal?" Trent smiled and texted "Nope." everyone cheered

"Alright!"

"Yes!"

"And FYI, don't eat the dogs, Vinnie made em." Charley said

"Hey!" Jason then walked in

"...Cody, you might wanna see this...I'm dead serious."

**The End!**

**Alright you Mama Jamas, were winding down, PLEASE REVIEW! just got a few business things to tend to first.**

**-Deleted scene from this episode, PM me if you wanna read it**

**-New story idea! PM within for details**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill/V-Bat

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Rob Paulsen: **Throttle

**Dorian Harewood: **Modo

**Ian Ziering: **Vinnie

**Lisa Zane: **Charley

**Jess Harnell: **Ronaldo Rump

**Morgan Freeman: **Lucius Fox

**Jennifer Hale: **Dora Smithy/Mrs. Freeze

**Cle Bennett: **DJ Hughes/Bane

**David Kaufman: **Jason Drake


	217. Protect the President! Part I

**Villain(s): Scarecrow, Nurse Pain, Mad Hatter, Red Claw**

**Episode Archive: I FOUND A BOWL! GOOD FOR ME!**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Bruce Timm**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini&Randy Rogel&Sherri Stoner **

**Art Direction: Ted Blackman&James Tucker**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 105: Protect the President!**

"Good morning Mayor Hill." his over enthusiastic secretary greeted him

"...Hi Brenda." he said unenthusiastic

"Aw, why the long face Mr. Mayor?"

"Ugh, terrible sleep, spent half the night dreaming of frozen caverns, and motorcycle riding martian mice." he entered his office "Sniff-sniff, and for some reason I smell like a damn sewer."

"Well, you'll be happy to know, I got your mail, and placed it all on your desk."

"Thanks Brenda." he sat at his desk. He sighed "I hate my life." he sorted through his mail "Let's see here, complaint, complaint, complaint, complaint, complaint, death threat, death threat, death threat, letter from Washington, junk mail, junk mail, junk mail, Andrea Beaumont's councilman application, junk mail -LETTER FROM WASHINGTON!" before you could say Froinlaven! Hill was tearing open the letter, while people outside listened in.

"Oh goodness."

"What could this mean."

"What happened?"

"Why this city?"

"Will everyone just shut-up!" Ham yelled "Thank you. Now then-sniiiiiiff, it smells like official stationary...it looks like official stationary."

"Well come on now, don't keep us in suspense!"

"Okay-okay! Ahem...Dear Mayor Hill; on behalf of the purposes of this great nation, I shall be arriving in Gotham tonight for a surprise visit, hope everything's ship shape, warm regards." the letter dropped "Gulp...The President."

"Oh my God."

"The president?"

"What should we do?"

"I say we...we...PANIC!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!"

"Gahhhhhhhhh!"

"Alright-alright everyone just calm down...settle down now...QUIIIIIIIEEEEEEET!" Ham stopped them "Thank you, now, it is..." he looked at his watch "9:47, that means we have less than...12 hours till he arrives, no pressure, we can do this people-Brenda!"

"Yes sir!"

"I'm calling in an emergency press conference...Tap into EVERY source of media in Gotham." the camera gets up close as he squints.

Over to the police HQ Gil Mason is just arriving to work, paper in one hand, moca shmoca in another.

"Ah, a fine day outside, and a fresh cup of Joe with a name I can't pronounce-ah, pure bliss." he walked passed Montoya's desk, but today, some long haired tanned brunette who wasn't Courtney was occupying it. Chris walked by

"Whose the chick?" he whispered

"Oh glad you asked, since crime is picking up, and this secret mission of Courtney's is getting too out of hand I decided to hire a temp till she gets back. Gil Mason I'd like you to meet Detective Cassandra Lentini."

"I only got one rule." she said "No singing, I like to get slappy when I hear singing."

"I like her already, I might even fire Montoya."

"Oh that's gr-FIRE HER!" Gil gasped, Chef looked over equally surprised

"Yeah I figure she really likes this secret agent gig, she can have it, uh provided Cassy here proves her worth of course."

"Which shouldn't be a problem, I can type 10 words."

"A minute, that's not impressive." Gil scoffed

"No, 10 words a second!"

"Oh...that's impressive...Detective Bullock! Conference my office!"

"Yes sir Vice Commissioner sir!" they slammed the door behind them

"DAMMIT! Courtney's still got a few weeks left to her sentence."

"I know, what are we gonna do?"

"What can we do, eventually were gonna have to tell Chris shes locked in the pokey and not on some dangerous secret mission with my old man."

"whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, what's this we stuff, you were supposed to tell him!"

"He signs my paychecks! It was hard!"

"Man up...sir, you can do it, can't ya?"

"I dunno Chef, right now I think-"

"_Attention, attention all Gothamites...this is Mayor Hill." he suddenly appeared on the TV screen. He was everywhere, anywhere there was a TV screen in Gotham, Hill's face was on it "Your attention please, no need to panic, but I just received word from Washington...DC, that THE President will be in town this evening for an impromptu visit! I should hope everyone is willing to volunteer in the efforts to help make this...city, proper for his arrival, that is all." _

First we take you to Arkham, where some inmates were, well, intrigued by the broadcast.

"Gasp! The president, wow." Harleen cooed "He can reinstate my Nursing license so I can practice again, instead of rotting away here." she said happily

"The president you say?" Hatter was also intrigued "Perhaps I can control his feeble little mind, o then maybe I can run this country the way I want to, like mandatory Alice in Wonderland showings, Star Trek conventions, skies the limit."

"Lame Sauce, eh? I'll simply look and see his worst fear...wonder what skeletons the Chief of State could be hiding."

"That's nothing you goons! I'll off him...then I can run this country...the way it should be run!"

"Say communism, eh I am soooooooooo overthrowing you eh." They dashed away, each to plan, plot...and most importantly, escape!

"Yeah-yeah, can't wait to see how this one blows up in all of your faces!" Gwen yelled

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, good one Gwen." Courtney laughed

"...Hmm, yeah I guess it was...why you being so nice to me all of the sudden, ever since you got in here your mood's totally changed."

"Uh...well, you know...just cause-"

"Montoya!" a guard boomed

"Thank God."

"Phone call for you."

"Coming." she skipped away, Gwen sighed

"Oh, I hope Lindsay was wrong."

. . .

"What do you mean he's gonna fire me?"

"_He thinks you're on a secret mission and you care about that more!"_

"Well, dammit Gil, you can't tell him!"

"_No sh*t Sherlock! Look, it's only one more week, I just gotta convince Chris you're way better then the temp he hired and-"_

"HE DID WHAAAAAAAAAAAT!"

"_I uh...see those anger issues still haven't been worked out fully, look Courtney, you're gonna have to let me handle this, and keep a low profile...and dammit just tell Gwen you have the hots for her already! I gotta go, head up." he hung up._

"Grrrrrrr!" she smashed the phone into the receiver. "Stupid-stupid-lousy-little!" she turned to see Doctors Bartholomew and Leland looking right at her "Uh...ha-ha, wrong number?"

Over at Wayne Manor, Trent was waving goodbye to his new Mice friends

"By guys! See ya around! Rock and Ride! And all that." Trent walked back inside "What nice people."

"Hey big guy, you might want to see this." Cody ushered him into the living room to hear Hill's broadcast to the people

"I don't think he's fooling." Jason added. Trent squinted as the broadcast ended

"...Saddle up, were gonna need all hands on deck for this one." he turned to Alfred, who was dusting "In fact, maybe even a certain...Bird of Prey would like to join us." the butler half smirked

"I'll have to check his schedule."

Meanwhile back over at City Hall, the mayor and the planning crew were setting everything up. Ham was directing some guys as to where to hang a large sign

"Okay a little to the left...further...further-okay now up a little-whoa too much, down-down-down-good, now more right-more-more...mooooooore, now up-up-UP-okay you know what, just put it back where it was before."

The Bat team of Batman, Robin, Exterminator, Batgirl, Red Hood, and Phoenix landed.

"Well, you sprung the whole platoon." Hill was impressed

"I was certain to pull out all the stops on this one, as we all know the level of importance with this mission." Batman explained

"I know, something tells me that-" his phone rang "Aw man, Carlo!" he picked up "Please tell me this is a social call Bullock!"

"_Ugh, wish I could Mayor, but we got ourselves a sticky sitiation over cheer at da Looney Farm! Pain, Hatta, Scarecrow, Red Claw...broke out-huge riot, fortunately it was just dose bozos."_

"Oh no." he did a facepalm

"_I already notified da Commish, Gil's sending a cleanup crew in ta give us a hand or two."_

"Good. I'll uh...try not to cry..." he hung up, then smashed his Blackberry to pieces "SHIT! SHIT-SHIT-SHIT-SHIT AND MORE SHIT!"

"How bad?" Batgirl asked

"I'll tell ya how bad, Harl Quinzel, Evanovich, Crane, and Tetch!"

Collective Groan!

"Okay, think of it this way, I can't help you today." Ham whispered "I got all this crap to do for the president's arrival, you guys are just gonna have to split up and take down these guys yourselves. And we have to hurry we got...10 hours till his arrival." he said looking at his watch. "Split up the work-and for the love of God! Be discrete about it!"

"Discrete is our middle name!" Red Hood yelped

"...No, no it's not." Ham scoffed dryly.

"Alright, pay attention. Huddle up!" Batman huddled his team up "Quinzel is a one person job-Batgirl?"

"I'll take her."

"Alfred, you and Cody take on Red Claw."

"Can do sir."

"Gotcha."

"Sara and I can take on Crane."

"Ha-ha, yes."

"Jason, you can take Tetch can't you?"

"Of course."

"Cool, just watch the mind control cards of his...without them he's just a skinny dork with a weird complex. Alright, split up!" everyone split up in different directions, Hill kept directing.

"No-no-no! Those streamers aren't nearly patriotic enough! I specifically said Red like amber waves of grain! White like the White house! And Blue like the oceans blue! Do you want to piss off the president!"

"N-n-n-n-n-n-n-no sir."

"Then fix it!"

First Batgirl found Pain at her apartment, she was gearing up for whatever she got cooked up, huming her sister's theme music

"Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmmhmhmhmhm-hm-hm-hmm-hmm." she looked in the mirror to see Batgirl behind it "Hmm-hmm-hmm-GAHHHHHHHH!"

"Miss me Harl?"

Over to Red Claw, at her warehouse...place

"Grrrrrrrr! Stupid Bird vermin!"

"Hey! Were not vermin!" Robin sneered tossing some batarangs

"Yes, were quite sophisticated thank you!" Phoenix added

"Oh really?" she took out a large rocket launcher "I bet you splatter like vermin."

"Gulp."

Crane had rented out an apartment. Batman and Ex were hidden somewhere

"So, what's the plan?" she asked

"Easy...what better way to get rid of a guy who loves to scare people...but to scare him." he smirked

"Hmm...good plan." they split up, trying to avoid Scarecrow.

And that just leaves with the Hatter of Mad.

"Ha, yes, now that's a good bow-tie if I do say so myself-[oof]" Red Hood socked him "Gasp!"

"Games over pal! I'm the new Sheriff round these parts!"

"Oh really?"

"Yes really?"

"Then...sheriff, did you see-THIS COMING!" he flung a 10/6 card at the ear of the mask "Wonderful, that was easier than expected-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! And now my new slave...for the President!"

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	218. Protect the President! Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Back at City Hall Mayor Hill was running himself ragged.

"No-no-no-no-no! I specifically said 24'x36' American flags! Not 23'x35'1/2" flags! Are you trying to piss off the president Jonesy!"

"N-n-n-no, no sir! I-I'll fix it!"

"And hey!" he ran to the landscapers "Unacceptable! These potted plants aren't red, white, and blue! Do you want the president to hate this city?"

"But sir, plants are green."

"Plants are greeeeeen he says!" Hill mocked (Boy Kevin's lines is really off model in this episode) "This isn't Ireland! We Like our stuff Red, White, and Blue in this country!"

"So, what do you want us to d-"

"Spray paint them patriotic colors!"

"Sir yes sir!"

"Alright, is that cake here yet?"

"It just arrived Mr. Mayor!"

"Oh fantastic!" he rushed over to the caterer "Alright, frosting is in Red, White, and Blue-super, it's in the shape of Gotham City, and it reads...huh? Sorry I gave you Syphilis? No-No-NO! Wrong-Wrong-Wrong!" he had a temper tantrum

"I'm sorry for the mix-up sir, I can fix it-"

"Fix it! First of all, who the hell makes a cake for someone who gives another a venereal disease as a way of apologizing-and two: how...the f*ck did you misconstrue 'Welcome to Gotham City Mr. President' on the phone!"

"Sorry, must have mixed up another call." Mayor Hill did a face palm... "Just...just go fix it."

"Yes sir."

"Now where the hell is that band-"

"They're arriving now sir."

"Good." he saw it was the local high school band "No! Wrong! Incorrect! Eee-FALSE!"

"What's wrong sir?"

"What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong...THAT'S THE FREAKIN HIGH SCHOOL BAND! I SAID SPECIFICALLY FOR THE GOTHAM OPERETTA ORCHESTRA!"

"Oh...my mistake."

"Erg! Can anything else go wrong-[ka-boom]" an explosion or two rocket the docks far off. Hill fell on his back "Ugh...I had to ask."

First we go over to the cause of the explosions, Red Claw.

"Erg! Stay still why don't you!"she tried to blast Phoenix, who had on an interesting jet pack, and was unable to do anything like that.

"What's that? Sorry I don't speak loser!"

"ERG! I. HATE. YOU. ALLLLLLLLLL!" she kept a blasting away.

"Yawn, I've seen better shooting from a 10 year old with a BB gun!" Her face went blank

"Aw, no he di'nt!" Robin liked Phoenix's dis talk

"You. Didn't. Just. Say. That."

"Uh-ha-ha, Phoenix...she looks mad."

"Nonsense dear boy, it must be that time of the month, we should really give her some privacy."

"No I mean she really looks pissed."

"Grrrrrrrrrr-AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" now she exploded "No one insults my ability to shoot, that'd be worse than insulting my mother...sniffle-who left me at that horrid orphanage...BUT who cares! I'm the best damned shot around here see! And I don't have time to hang around the loser committee." the two just so happened to be atop a trap door on the ground. She pulled a lever and the floor dropped beneath them.

"Whoa!"

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" [thud] they hit the floor

"Ouch." they both groaned

"Hope you enjoyed your little fall fellas, oh, and did I forget to mention this whole warehouse is one giant weapons bunker?"

"No!" Robin said sarcastically

"You? Weapons? Perish the thought."

"Charming, but, we'll see how funny you both are once it all goes ka-bluey!" she lit a Zippo, and dropped it to a floor, igniting a small mound of gun powder, which was lined up to all the explosive stuff across the way.

"Gasp!"

"It'll take time for the powder to burn-BUT! I doubt you both will be going anywhere...now, if you two toaster pastries will excuse me, I have a president to eliminate." she left.

"Toaster pastries? Erg, now what are we supposed to do?"

"Don't fret master Cody, a butler always comes prepared."

"With what?"

"You'll see...a cutscene if you would."

Sure beans Alfred, now we go to the lair of the Scarecrow who was preparing some fear...stuff.

"Hmm-hmm-hmm, I wonder what he could be afraid of?" Scarecrow thought while looking into his bathroom mirror. He looked down, where Batman and Ex tiptoed passed, if he had been looking into the mirror, he would have seen them. "Death perhaps...nah...Lobbyists...nope...Foreign police maybe...nuh-uh." he placed his fear toxin...gun...thingy on his bed and went for his closet. Batman went to grab it "THAT'S IT!"

"Gasp." he thought he was caught

"Republicans! That's it."

"Whew." he grabbed the gun, and tiptoed away.

"Now then, where was...I...hey, where'd my gun go, I left it right here." he turned around, his gun was sitting on his dresser "Huh? That doesn't make any sense." he took the gun, and turned to his bed "Now how did-GAH!" he discovered all his bed sheets were tossed aside, and his pillows stacked neatly in a pyramid

"AH!" he backed away "Yeah Zeke...don't lose your cool man." what cool? ZING "You...probably just...j-j-j-just stacked all those pillows and...forgot about em eh, ha-ha, happens all the time right?" yeah to people in their 80's.

"Zeeeeeeeeeeke!"

"GAH!"

"Zeeeeeeeeeeeeeeke!" Ex called from outside in an eerie voice

"W-who are you, and w-w-w-what do you want, eh?"

"I am the ghost of your..." she looked through a few photos "Your sisteeeeeeeer."

"No-wait a minute eh...my sister lives in Provo...right..."

"Uh...yeah, but you never write meeeeeeeee."

"Okay-okay I'm sorry I-wait a sec...I don't even have a sister eh?" Ex did a face palm outside the room. And wondered why he had a picture of a strange woman lying around...and framed for that matter "And wait a minute, I'm the master of fear, the lord of despair! I'm the Scarecrow, how dare I be scared of a stupid little prank!" he got his gun "Just come out and take it like a man, eh!" he walked back by the bathroom, and saw a creepy looking Ex in the mirror

"I'm heeeeeeeeere."

"AHHHHHHHH! I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE EH!" he sprinted for the front door, looking behind himself the whole time, he turned around and ran into another familiar face.

"Boo."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he backed into a few photographs on the wall, and knocked himself out

"Well, that was easy." Ex cuffed him

"I know, no fight this time!"

And over to the Mad Hatter, he had thought he put the Red Hood under his control

"Excellent, the newest member to the Bat Brood under my power."

"I hear, and obey." Red Hood said in a robotic tone.

"Excellent, bravo, good show and all that! Ha-ha-ha! Now, first order of business, go boil me some soy milk, I'm parched."

"Yes, my master." he went to the fridge, and put a pot on the stove.

"Excellent, excellent...and they said this invention was a dumb idea, ha-ha-IDIOTS! I sure showed them I did!" Red Hood boiled the soupy milk.

"All finished my master."

"Excellent, give it to me." Red Hood turned to the camera and shrugged "If you insist." he flung the scalding milk at Hatter's face. -splash

"...OWWWWWWWWWWWWW! BURNING!" he rolled around on the floor, as Red Hood took the chip and promptly broke it, he stood over him

"You pinhead! Only the smart can be mind controlled...now me, I'm a high school dropout, with no potential, only having fighting skills, and no hopes for a good job or GED."

"Shut-up! I gotta wash my face! GAHHHHHHHH-[crash]-AHHHHHHHHH-[splash]" Hatter jumped out the nearest window, and into an awaiting pool below, trying to get the scald out of his skin. Red Hood starred out the window and laughed

"Ah...I'm starting to like this crime fighting gig."

And where does that leave us, oh yeah; Batgirl and Nurse Pain, who were still having a face off in her bathroom...or living room, or wherever I said they were.

"You gotta give up some time Harl!"

"I never have to give up B-girl, unlike you, I'm older, smarter, and wiser, with more years of expericence!"

"Yeah, I know someone like that." Batgirl added

"Really? Who?"

"My grandma! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"H-hey, that wasn't very nice!" her pigtails fell a little (By the way, her pigtails help tell you Pain's emotions, how cool is that?)

"Well that makes us even then doesn't it!" she got in a fighting stance

"Says you! I'm a very nice person Bats! I give to charity! I help people, I even worked at a soup kitchen when I was on the run, and the cops still busted me...A SOUP KITCHEN!"

"Oh, well gee that makes a big difference then Pain."

"Sniff-sniff-sniff-it does?" she asked fighting back her apparent tears?

"Um...no."

"Erg, you're a jerk B-girl you know that?"

"I've heard it around once or twice, so we here to talk, or we here to fight?"

"Neither!" she pressed a button on a remote, and a hang glider fell from a trap door in the ceiling.

"Well...that's new." Batgirl nodded

"Cool isn't it. And don't worry, I didn't make this one, so it's sure to work!"

"Yeah, okay Harl, we'll go with that!"

"Well I'd love to stay and chat, but I have a president to talk to, as the French say, Aufwiedersan!"

"That's German!"

"Oh...well then Sayonara!"

"That's Japanese!"

"WHATEVER! Point is, I'm gon be a real nurse again, and you're not gonna stop me-ha-ha-ha-ha!" she started to fly away, but Batgirl managed to hang onto the back as they crashed through the window

"Oh, no you're not!"

"Hey, g-get off! This isn't a passenger plane you know!"

"I'm aware of that!"

Back at the police station, it was actually pretty calm considering.

"Alright, Gil, were you certain to send a security team to City Hall for the President?"

"Yup, were all good."

"Excellent, good. Now why the stupid secret service couldn't handle this, or have the courtesy for one damn lousy phone call, I'll never know!" Cassandra entered Chris's office

"Yo Chris I got those criminal files you wanted." she plopped them down on his desk

"Ah, excellent, thanks Cass."

"Hey no problem, anything else you need me to do?"

"No, you're good."

"Super, now gentlemen if you'll excuse me, I gotta go slap Ramirez for singing..." she stormed out "Yo Ramirez!" -[slap]

"Ow!"

"Ah, I like that girl."

"You know sir, Courtney would put these files in alphabetical order."

"She does doesn't she...but she doesn't slap people, I like that."

"Well look, just...keep her on, she'll be back, real soon, I promise...I gotta go to the rally and make sure everything is good."

"Savvy."

"Yes sir." he walked away.

Speaking of which, guess who's criminal file was on top

"Huh...Courtney?" he started reading her file "Release next week for...blah-blah-blah..hmm, secret mission indeed."

. . .

"GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL!" Chef and Gil heard from below

"It's for you!" they dashed away

Over at the Rally, Red Claw had crashed it.

"Ha!" she fired her guns "No one is gonna stop me! I'll be famous! World famous! YOU HEAR MY GOTHAM! I WANNA BE FAMOUS!" From behind the podium Ham was not pleased

"I'm not gonna have her ruin this for me-no way am i-"

"COMING THROUGH!"

"WAAAAAAAAH!" Pain and Batgirl were falling fast, guess who their target was

"Come on! Try it! Just try it!"

"LOOKOUT EVVVVVVVVVAAA!"

"Huh...oh no-[CRASH]" Simultaneously, the gang had had returned with their captives, while Phoenix and Robin arrived as well.

"Well, not how I planned it, but we got her. By George we got her!"

"Remind me again how we managed to escape with a bucket of water, and 5 rolls of duct tape?"

"Trade secret." Phoenix winked

Pain emerged from the wreckage

"Froinlaven! Is something you need 3 times...in your daily diet." she slurred, she walked a few steps, then passed out.

"Ugh-ugh...Adrian...Adri...ugh-F*ck it!" Red Claw hit the dirt too." everyone else went to help Batgirl.

"Batgirl..."

"Batgirl?"

"How you feeling kid?"

"Ugh...I fell like a nice tub...filled with good things..." she stood up "And I too enjoy lots of FROINLAVEN!" she then fell into Phoenix's arms. Suddenly a limo pulled up in front of city hall

"GAH! The president he's here!" hill yelled "Band start playing! Everyone else salute or perish!" he yelled. He ran for the limo door, and saluted

"Welcome to Gotham Mr. President!"

"Why thank you Mayor-" record scratches

"Huh?"

"I am most delighted you guys went through all the trouble to give me a proper welcome, I am more than impressed." it was an older gentlemen...not THE president.

"Wait a minute...you're not the president!" hill yelled

"Who the F*ck are you?" Red Hood asked bluntly

"I am the president...the president of American's Internal Affair's Bureau."

"The AIAB?" Ex asked

"That's right." he turned to Ham "Whose the girl in the mask?"

"Long story, and what are you doing here?"

"Why an inspection of the cities police force, didn't you get my note."

"Yeah, right here." Hill took the note from his pocket "See signed by the president...oh, of the AIAB...and that would be your signature."

"Yup, Carter Masterson's the name-and come on, you didn't actually think the REAL president would be here did you?" he chuckled

"No...of course not."

"Ooh, is that cake?"

"Knock yourself out...Mr. President."

"Wa-hoo!"

"Ugh." Hill fainted

**The End!**

**Alright yous guys, I can't believe it, but we are down to the absolute last TDB episode in regulation! NOOOOOOOO! All we got is the series finale and the movie...but fret not, the sequel series is coming this summer! Review and stuff! PEACE!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Pennyworth/The Exterminator

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Courtney Montoya

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Rob Paulsen: **Vice Commissioner Gil Mason, Jonesy

**Loren Lester: **Red Hood

**Michael York: **Phoenix

**Brian Froud: **Harold Tetch/Mad Hatter

**Peter Oldring: **Prof. Ezekiel Crane/Scarecrow

**Arleen Sorkin: **Harleen Quinzel/Nurse Pain

**Julia Chantrey: **Eva Evanovich/Red Claw

**Sherri Stoner: **Cassandra Lentini

**Fred Tatasciore: **Guard, additional voices

**Tara Strong: **Brenda, additional Voices

**Ed Asner: **Carter Masterson

**Billy West: **Additional Voices

**April Winchell: **Additional Voices

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Gwen Kyle

**David Kaufman: **Jason Drake


	219. One Last Thing, Part I

**Villain: Red Claw Featuring: Dmitri Geshenov, Ethel Kinchmeyer (Both one-shots)**

**Episode Archive: I'LL HAVE A LITER OF COLA**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri**

**Teleplay By: Michael Reaves&Sherri Stoner **

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 106: One Last Thing...**

Hi everyone, it's me Kevin Conroy! And dammit I think it's time I got to narrate one of these for once huh? They were this close-THIS CLOSE from letting Joe freaking Leahy narrate this one-Joe Leahy can you believe that? (No disrespect Joe we all love ya) If you're wondering where we are, we are, we are atop a building here in downtown Los Angeles, it's building's like this that remind me of the time two Snipers wreaked havoc on Gotham with Red Claw at the lead. It's a story of escape, romance, and all that other stuff we've seen for 100 and some odd episodes. So, because I don't want to bore you all to tears, here we go, hope you enjoy and-WHOA! Jeez, could they make downtown any closer to LAX?

[Cue title card]

_The Commissioner looked out his window into Gotham City when his office door opened, and a nervous Gil entered_

"Y-y-y-y—y-you wanted to s-ee me sir?"

"Gil, good, have a seat." Chris said calmly not looking away from the window. Gil gulped.

"Gulp." he sat down "Uh...i-i-i-i-i-is t-t-t-there a p-p-p-p-p-roblem s-s-s-sir?"

"Oh no, no problem at all, a trivial matter you see." The Commissioner smiled and looked away from the window, he grabbed a file from his desk. "I was merrily looking over the nice filing work Cassandra had made right?"

"Gulp...yes."

"And, to my surprise, guess whose crime file was on top...oh here, let me read it for you." he opened it up, still smiling. "Reckless endangerment, attempted assault and battery with a deadly weapon, and disturbing the peace, 6 months in Arkham to help reduce anger issues to miss Courtney Montoya. Now look at that, that sounds just like our Courtney Montoya doesn't it?"

"Y-y-y—yes sir, yes it does." Gil panted loosening his tie.

"Good that's what I thought, oh and here's the kicker!" Chris chuckled a little "Time of arrest and trial was the first day I was on vacation, so...that means she has been incarcerated hence and I was never told."

"Uh...y-y-y-y-yeah sir, it w-w-w-w-would a-p-pear that way." Chris sat on his desk, closing the file "So, be honest with me here Gil...were buddies right?"

"Y-yes sir, working under your awesome, and fun, and completely understanding leadership have been the happiest and least stressful 2 years of my life."

"Well I'm glad to hear that Gil, so to this whole debacle I say-WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU!"

"Yipe!" Chris grabbed him by the collar slamming Gil against the nearest wall

"You honestly thought I wouldn't find out about this!"

"W-well to be fair sir, she gets out in 5 days, and you found out yesterday, s-s-s-so long in the vain of it I'd say we had a good run."

"Shut-up!"

"Yes sir."

"The only question I have to ask you is why...WHY did you do this?"

"I thought you'd be pissed-"

"Well I'm certainly pissed now aren't I?"

"Yes-yes you are!"

"Gil, I just hired a f*cking temp whose wasting government money cause I thought she was on an intelligence mission with your old man!"

"Uh...well I didn't think you would do that-"

"I can't be short a detective for a long period of time...not in this city, the point is, YOU are gonna go to Arkham and get her uptight butt out of there, comprende el jefe?"

"Y-y-y-yes sir, read you loud and clear-but can I actually you know...do that?"

"Gil, I'm the big cheese around here...you're the little cheese, and sometimes the little cheese has to fix problems so the big cheese-DOESN'T GET EVEN MORE FUMED THAN HE IS NOW!"

"Yes sir...I can do that. But can I go later, I am just swamped with work." Chris put his hand on Gil's shoulder

"Gil, let me put this to you this way, if Montoya isn't back at her desk pushing papers and catching baddies with Chef lickedy-split, I shall squeeze you, and I will continue squeezing-UNTIL YOU EXPLODE AND YOUR JUICES SPLATTER ALL OVER MY NICE CLEAN OFFICE FLOOR! GOT IT!"

"...Yes sir." he said weakly

"Good, now scram!"

"On it sir!" Gil left the office and looked out at everyone else, looking right at him

"Uh..."

"Gil?"

"You okay?"

"Yes...yes I am, Chef, Cassandra...I-I-I-I think a trip to Arkham is in order-you-you don't mind driving do you Chef?"

"No sir, of course not."

"Good...but first we gotta stop at my place so I can change my pants."

_Over at Arkham Courtney was in a sess with Dr. Leland. She got to sit in the nice and comfy chair_

"You've made wonderful progress Courtney, Dr. Bartholomew and I are very proud of the breakthrough you've made addressing the causes of your anger."

"Thanks doc."

"And I'm really pleased that you seem to be getting along with Gwen."

"Uh...yeah."

"Now I know you've lately developed an attraction for her, but perhaps this is natural, the anger and animosity you once felt towards Gwen has manifested itself to love and understanding, after being with her for so long."

"Yeah, maybe."

"You need closure though, have you tried telling Gwen how you feel?"

"No."

"Well before you leave Arkham...I think you should."

"Okay, thanks Dr. Leland."

"No problem."

_Courtney was led back to her cell, where a nervous Gwen waited_

"So, how was your shrink sess?" she asked laying in her bunk playing cats cradle

"Oh you know...nice I guess."

"Cool."

"...S-s-s-so Gwen."

"What?"

"Can I talk to you?"

"Sure." she turned to face her

"I mean, down here."

"Okay." Gwen shrugged. She sat on Courtney's bunk right next to her.

"Well...I'm just-uh."

"Uh-huh?"

"I'm uh...Look I'm sorry I tried to kill you."

"Oh that's quite al-WAIT you actually tried to kill me?" her smile faded

"Uh...well, it was a nice helicopter, why waste it huh?" Courtney chuckled nervously

"You know just because my costume is off doesn't mean my nails aren't razor sharp."

"Uh-ha-ha, perhaps I misspoke."

"You think?"

"Just...know this...ever since I've been here...I think we've, you become friends, right?"

"I guess."

"So...I guess, yeah just...yeah."

"Okay then...thanks for being understanding Court...guess I'm glad we had this talk."

"Me too." suddenly Courtney leaned into Gwen, using her cat like reflexes she moved away

"What are you doing!" Courtney got out of her trance

"Uh...you have a smudge on you're face?"

"That you tried to get out with your lips?" Gwen asked raising an eyebrow

"No you...silly kitty. Here, let me get that for you." Courtney licked her thumb and wiped away the imaginary smudge "There, good as new." she chuckled nervously

"Right." Gwen looked to the cell in front of them, and made a startling, yet convenient discovery.

"What the huh?"

"What?" Courtney looked "What the huh?"

"Eva, what's she doing?"

"What does it look like Ms. Detective, SHES ESCAPING!"

Eva was pick axing her way through her cell floor, she smirked devilishly and hopped into the freshly dug hole she made.

"I should figured something was fishy when she made that pick ax in arts and crafts...hmm, fish." Gwen started to dream of fresh mackerel, Courtney had other ideas.

"Focus! We need to do something?"

"You're right, we'll change the menu to fish sticks tonight!"

"NO! We need to stop Eva from...oh come on it's Eva use your imagination!"

"You're right, we should escape-NO better! You should escape." Gwen figured this way she would be out of her hair

"But-but I can't it would be wrong."

"But, you can stop Red Claw."

"I can't, I'll get caught and be stuck in here longer." Gwen didn't like the sound of that, but what choice did she have "But Courtney, if you can stop them, they can commend you...you'll be a hero, they'll write your ticket out of here."

"Hmm...maybe."

"And come on...didn't you always want to be the hero?"

"Totally."

"Well now's your chance."

"You're right Gwen, I have to do this! I must succeed!"

"Atta girl!"

"Now, how should I escape?"

"Same way I do." Gwen knocked in a few certain area's on the wall of her cell, and a secret passage opened

"Huh?"

"Can you believe Riddler's is bigger than mine? I worked twice as hard too."

"Okay, where will this take me?"

"Outside the Somerset District, now go get em sport!" Courtney hopped inside and crawled to freedom

"I must succeed! I must succeed! I MUST SUCCEED!"

"Whew." she closed up the hatch and hopped back in her bunk "Now for some peace and quiet away from that dyke. Way too many on this show."

Eva dug her way out of the facility, she was near the bay, and greeted by two suspicious characters.

"bout time you showed up." the one said presumably a girl with a sweet and sinister voice.

"Da Comrade Evanovich, vhat too you?" the other one, presumably a guy asked in a thick Hearty Russian Accent.

"What can I say, traffic. Now, you both know your mission, correct?"

"Ja."

"Da!"

"Good, now go wreak havoc, I got my own plans. Ha-ha-ha-ha."

_Over at Wayne Enterprises, Trent was about to leave for the evening, he and Lucius were going over a_ _few things. _

"So, got any plans for the weekend Mr. Wayne?"

"Whatever the scum of Gotham have to throw at me." he sighed

"Ha-ha, I wish I had your optimism, course if I did, I'd probably be dead by now."

"No, you?"

"Yeah."

"Well, it's been real Lucius, but I gotta head out."

. . .

Across the street, the two were in position, the guy, had a Druganov sniper rifle, his female partner, a slick H&K PSG1 sniper rifle.

"There's one." the girl said

"By window?"

"Ja."

"I call, how you say, dibs, yes?"

"Sure, take him."

"Ha-ha, very-very good comrade Kinchmeyer, say prayers office guy." he took aim.

. . .

"So, doing anything with the wife?"

"Nah probably not, shes being kind o a bitch latel-[bang]"

-CRAZY CARTOON SLOW MOTION SCENE-

_Trent's eyes widened as the bullet passed right through the back of Lucius's head, closed casket. He hit_ _the floor with a thud._

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he dashed over to him "Lucius! Lucius! No! No! No!" NOOOO!"

. . .

"Good shot Mitri."

"Da, shall we roll on."

"Sure, but remember we have to cover more ground, I'll take Medford and Dawson Heights, you take Dorchester and East Gotham, to keep the cops busy, good?"

"Da, see you, how you say, laters?"

"Ja."

. . .

"NO! NO!" Trent looked across the street to see the two leave the scene. Angered Trent ran to his phone.

"CODY! Grab Sara, get Bridgette and get the FUCK to Police HQ...JUST DO IT! If Chris asks, I'm seeing someone about a little problem. And whatever you do-STAY. OFF. THE. ROOFS! Don't question me dammit just do it...Yeah I'm not okay, just do it!" he hung up "You've messed with the wrong hombre now."

_Over to Arkham, the crew stopped, to hear the sounds of alarms blaring, Carlo ran to greet them_

"Hey, is dis our back-up?"

"Uh, no bro, were here in business." Chef said

"Well make it quick, we just got two escapes in as many minutes."

"Jeez, that's gotta be a record." Cass pondered

"Shut-up." Carlo sighed "What brings you here?"

"As much as we would love to stay and chat Carlo, were on business, we need the emancipation of Courtney Montoya at once, Commissioner's orders."

"Ha, hate to burst yous bubbles, but you're a day day late an a dolla short." the three exchanged confused looks.

"Why's that?" Gil asked

"Cause, Montoya's on of dem who escaped." three mouth's dropped "Yeah, dat was my reaction too."

"Who was the other one?" Cass asked

"Red Claw, and here's another kicka, I'm getting word a sniper clocked Foxy over at Wayne Enterprises! Whatever dis sh*t is, I don't like it, and it smells really bad, you're welcome to search if yous want." the three looked at each other

"Oh no." Chef gasped

"We gotta find her."

"But what about-"

"Batman and his crew can handle that, we gotta find Montoya, before she messes anything else up!" they got in Gil's car, and drove away

"Got dammit, why can't things ever be easy!" Cassandra blared

"When in Gotham." Gil said dryly.

Well, isn't this story shaping up to be something else huh? What a way to end our regular series with a metaphorical, and a literal bang. See what I did there? I made a pun? Oh no laughs? When Mark does it everyone laughs! Ugh, why do I try, well anyway while we go to this commercial break, I hope you all choose a healthy snack in which to eat cause hey, everyone needs strong bones, healthy muscles and a strong immune syste-WHOA! My God! Can we stop with the planes! Alright just...j-just, we'll be right back.

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	220. One Last Thing, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

Hi, me again, so first off, you guys...missed the biggest 787 I have ever seen-man this thing was huge, I mean HUGE! Now where did we leave off cause I am lost...Anyone gonna say anything? No? Were just gonna...stand here on this roof watching planes go by wasting the air time huh...Oh-oh, good cue cards, were progressing this is good, this is good. Okay...Courtney...cops...running...I must succeed...Oh-oh real funny-real funny guys, way to mix it up, and were laughing about it, that's-t-t-t-that's real mature...real mature-WHOA! Concord!"

. . .

_Courtney had made it into Gotham. She was dodging cops, and all that jazz. Let's see how this debacle plays out shall we?_

"Montoya! Stand down!" the chopper pilot roared above her

"NEVER! Pant-pant-I must succeed-pant-pant-I must succeed!" she kept screaming. Gil and the other two were in on the pursuit as well

"Huh, you know she might be crazy."

"I agree."

"Yeah."

"I must succeed! I must succeed! I must succeed!" she yelled

_And over to police HQ Exterminator, Robin, and Batgirl swung onto the building, greeted by Chris. Who was talking on a radio of sort_

"Say again? Shots fired, Legg Mason Building in Dorchester, got it! Take a seat!" he ordered the three "What? No-no Jenkins not you ya pinhead! Where's the other one? Rooftops of Midtown heading east towards Medford, thank you..."

"Uh...Commish?" Robin asked "Isn't this building in Medford?"

Chris stopped for a moment, and in that position of thought he looked across the street, where on a ledge he saw the shine of something. "Oh sh*t."

"What'd you sa-"

"...HIT THE DECK!" [bang-bang]

They sprawled just in time. Geshenov the Russian was across the street.

"Crap! So close. No problem, more fish in sea as they say...I'll get you yet Gordon."

"I'm still breathing sh*thead!"

"It is, how you say coincidence, so am I-aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" He laughed heartily, and jumped to another building. Everyone else hid behind the deck

"Your accent blows!" Chris yelled with an absolute lack of anything to say.

"Uh...who was that?" Batgirl asked

"Oh no one special, just you know one of two assassins trying to destroy the city, THAT'S ALL!" Chris fumed

"I swear, this day could not possibly get any worse!"

"Keep saying that and it might come true."

"Shut-it Ex, now look, Batman and V-Bat are gonna handle these clowns, I need you to find Red Claw and see what shes planning if anything, check her usual spots, oh and off the record if you see Montoya running around, bring her ass back here will ya?"

"You got it."

"Well good, if you need me I'll be in my office drinking and crying." he quickly sprinted to the nearest door.

"Sigh, that's my dad." Batgirl sighed

"Oh well, we should go find those two." Robin added

"Chris said one was on the Legg Mason building in Dorchester."

"And that Russian headed east more towards East Gotham."

"Well then, let's get to work, to Dorchester or bust!"

_Over in Dawson Heights Batman and V-Bat (hey there I am) swing onto a ledge of an apartment building. _

"What are we doing here?" V-Bat asked

"Were gonna call upon the assistance of one of our own to help us in this situation."

"Who?"

"Captain Eli Moncourtois."

"The SWAT sniper?"

"Yes." he started to cut the glass on the window.

"But he's a mope!"

"I know, but maybe this is the thing he needs to get out of this funk he's in."

"He shot movie director's Cameron James and Bay Michaels in the leg...with the same bullet."

"He thought one of them was reaching for a gun."

"They were reaching for coffee!"

"Never the less, he is a valuable sniper, and he's just what we need." they entered the quiet apartment

"You heard him at that press conference he said he would never pick up a rifle again, ever!"

"We can motivate, can't we?" Batman shrugged

"Not unless you plan on beating the piss out of him."

"It might work." the lights suddenly turned on

"Whose th-oh, it's you two." a broken said in the most depressed voice.

Moncourtois wore a robe, open, with a beater and boxers on underneath. He had five-o-clock shadow as he hadn't shaved in days. In his hands, was a pistol, assuming intruders had broken in. His usually neat hair was now all scruffy and such.

"What brings you too here, wanna gloat on your success and my failure?"

"No, actually, we need your help Eli?"

"Ha! My help? What could you possibly want with my help?" he asked with a forced chuckle.

"Two snipers are wreaking havoc in the city, we need you to eliminate them." V-Bat explained

"Ha, sorry fellas, no go; I couldn't shoot the broad side of Russia if you gave me the broad side of China let alone a couple of assassins."

"Did that make any sense to you?" V-Bat asked Batman

"Nope."

"Look, ever since...you know; I've just lost it, I can't shoot like I used to."

"But the city needs you Eli."

"No they don't, all they need is you."

"If they only needed us, would we have come here, for you?" V-Bat asked that perked Eli up

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Alright." he grabbed his rifle, a Remington 2400 "I've seen them on the news, I believe the Russian is Dmitri Geshenov, former KGB agent, didn't know a gun he couldn't shoot or a person he couldn't kill, very uneducated in American slang and lingo, likes to run his mouth. The German, Ethel Kinchmeyer, granddaughter of a Nazi sniper Franz Kinchmeyer, takes her time, marks her targets, very cool under the collar, and unlike Geshenov, not cocky. She'll be the harder get." he explained suiting up in his SWAT getup. "You bros ready?"

"Were always ready." Batman smirked

"Well, off to Medford then."

_The other team eventually found themselves at South Shore beach, more specifically, the South Shore Pier, full of rides, and games, and bombs...wait a minute, that doesn't sound right._

"Alright, this is the last place we haven't checked for Red Claw." Robin announced

"She has to be here." Batgirl pondered

"Why?" Ex asked

"Too inconspicuous of a place, she loves being inconspicuous."

"That she does."

"Shes very strange."

"Thanks!"

"Gasp!"

"I like being a little strange."

"Red Claw!"

"Where is she?"

"I'm over here!"

"Get her!" they blindly threw Batarangs and such, but the couldn't see her.

"Where the hell is sh-whoa!" a robotic arm grabbed Batgirl.

"Batgirl what is th-HEY!" another grabbed Robin

"Robin-AY!" and a third grabbed Ex. The arms were situated on an apparatus on the Ferris wheel. Red Claw approached them.

"Hey, miss me?"

"Like a hernia." Batgirl struggled

"Aw that hurt, too bad I don't care!" she approached the merry-go-round. The top opened, and a large bomb appeared

"Well...that's new." Ex said nervously

"Nice isn't it, I've been saving her for a rainy day." she gave the monstrosity a hug and kiss...that's not weird. "Once I'm far enough away, this thing will blow! And you, Gotham, and hopefully the Batman will cease to exist...and perhaps half of Long Island. And there's not a person who could stop me now!"

Except for Courtney who was off in the distance listening in on the conversation.

"Well maybe I can."

Meanwhile, in Dorchester, Dmitri and Ethel were meeting up, they were but a few building's away from each other. Dmitri was on a ledge on the Gotham Building, the most Gothic Art Deco looking structure this side of Transylvania. He saw the Batmen were on the roof of another building

"Oh sweet beans, can it be?" he asked, he got over his radio "Ethel, Batmen are approaching your position."

"_So, get rid of em Mitri!" _

"Ha-ha-ha with pleasures." he took aim, but before he could he noticed in the glass of his scope someone was on the gargoyle above him. "What-[bang]"

. . .

"You hear that?" V-Bat asked

"Yup, just like Eli planned it." They jumped to the building Ethel was standing atop of

"FREEZE!"

"Oh no, both Batmen." she still had her back to them. "Looks like I'm done."

"Cut it out!"

"Just turn around slowly, and come quietly."

"Sorry boys, I don't do quietly...i prefer." she quickly turned around with her rifle "LOUD-[BANG]"

"So do I." Eli said from acoss the way.

"Whew."

"I went against everything we stand for, but at least they're off the streets." Batman sighed "Now alls we have to do is find Red Claw."

"Uh...I think I already did." V-Bat looked through his batnoculars at the pier way south "Have a look." Batman looked as well. "To the beach. Eli, thanks for your help!"

"No problem fellas, and thank you!"

The Batmobile screeched to a halt on the pier right in front of Red Claw's contraption

"Figures." she sighed

"Ha! You're screwed now Red Claw!"

"Yeah! Batman will stop you!"

"Oh will he now." she took out a remote just as the duo exited

"It's over Eva!"

"Is it?" It will be for you once I activate this-[chok-chink]-bomb." one battarang knocked the remote from her hands, the other disarmed the bomb...she put a disarming button on it. "Oh well, like most things around here, easy come...easy GO!" she jumped back to the pier, a secret door brought her below.

"After her!" the two jumped down.

Below the pier were the shallow murky waters, and a maze of wooden poles keeping everything up.

"Where is sh-[thwack]-ah!" she nearly knocked out V-Bat

"V-Bat!"

"Ugh, I'll be okay, just get her!"

"Right." Batman searched for Red Claw who was closing in "Now where is she, where is that-GAH!" she tackled him down.

The water was about knee high, sh she grabbed him by the neck while he was under the water.

"Ha! Gotcha now Batman!" she mocked. Meanwhile Courtney arose from the waters nearby "How do you like it! Today you meet your demise! Not surprising, it's by a woman-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Not likely Red Claw!"

"Huh-[punch]" Courtney socked her across the face.

"Erg, why you little-[thwack]" she hit her again "Ugh...punch make face go boom-froinlaven!" Eva fell.

"I did it...I DID IT!"

"Ugh, unh." V-Bat got up, as did Batman

"You did do it!"

"HA-HA! Yeah she did!" came Gil's voice, him, Cass, Chef, and other policemen closed in.

"I knew you weren't crazy Montoya!"

"So, does this mean I can my job back, and leave Arkham?"

"Yes-[click]-in 5 days."

"Oh come on! I saved your life dammit!" he handed her over to Gil.

"Thanks Batman." he left "Here." Gil took off her cuffs "Huh?"

"When the Commish' said he wanted you back lickedy-split by God he meant lickedy-freaking-split!"

The next day, the city waited at Lucius Fox's grave site. Trent seemed the most upset.

"Oh...Lucius." he shed a tear...

"Who died?" someone asked

"You did Lucius just yester-day-day-day-day!" he turned around everyone gasped "LUCIUS!"

"Ghost!"

"Zombie!"

"AHHHHHHH!"

"What's going on...I'm dead-Dammit this can't be Heaven!"

"But you were shot-I-I-I-Isaw it."

"Shot...yesterday...OH, duh, Mr. Wayne, that was my clone I was trying to prefect, I took a day off I was at the Jersey Shore."

"...Oh."

"So...was there food?"

"Were not there yet."

"Kind of a shame to waste it, let's go eat."

"Ugh..." Trent rubbed his temples "Fade to black please."

Well guys, that's our show! I am so uber excited for this Series finale, and the movie, it is going to be freakin sweet, I can't wait. We here are so happy you enjoyed this here episode and we hope you continue to watch what's left of our show, and our sequel. And now because the fans demand it so, I'm gonna shout a little bit. I am Vengeance...I am the night...I. Am. BATMAN-Whoa! These landing planes are not getting any less terrifying!

**The End**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill/V-Bat

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Pennyworth/The Exterminator

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Emilie Claire-Barlow: **Courtney Montoya

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Julia Chantrey: **Eva Evanovich/Red Claw

**Jim Cummings: **Dmitri Geshenov

**Adrienne Barbeau: **Ethel Kinchmeyer

**Rob Paulsen: **Vice Commissioner Gil Mason

**Sherri Stoner: **Cassandra Lentini

**Suzanne Stone: **Dr. Joan Leland

**Mark Hamill: **Captain Eli Moncourtois

**Morgan Freeman: **Lucius Fox

**Robert Costanzo: **Carlo Bullock

**Megan Fahlenbock: **Gwen Kyle

**Debbie Derryberry: **Additional Voices

**April Winchell: **Additional voices

**Scott Menville: **Additional Voices


	221. Mask of Phantasm, Part I

**Villain(s): Phantasm (Intro), Ra's Al Ghul, Hugo Strange, Lock-Up, Joe Chill, Andrea Beaumont Featuring: others**

**Archive: Batman: the Mask of Phantasm (1993)**

**Written by: Lots!**

**Directed By: Eric Radomski**

**. . .**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Alan Burnett&Eric Radomski**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini&Michael Reaves&Steve Perry**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami&Ronnie Del Carmen**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 107: Mask of Phantasm (Part I)**

[knock-knock-knock]

"That had better be him." Hugo Strange fumed. The door opened "You're late."

"Oh go shove it, I had other non-related business to attend to. Anything to avoid being this horrid excuse for a city as long as possible." Ra's Al Ghul scoffed. "Come Ubu." his manservant entered as well

"Yes master." he nodded for the shadows to remain outside.

Ra's entered what looked like the living room, sitting at a round table were none other than Joe Chill and Lock-Up. Ra's and Ubu took their seats.

"Mr. Chill I should hope you were not blowing smoke when you said you got the crystal?"

"Hey-hey, no problem Ra's, got it right here." he said patting his right blazer pocket

"Then quit giving me that dopey smirk and let me see it." the demon ordered

"Uh-ha-ha, yes sir, you're the boss." he took the red crystal he stole 4 episodes ago, and placed it on the table, sending it over to Ra's, who examined it.

"Ah, there it is. Look at it Ubu."

"What is it Master?"

"One of the Stones of Mary Magdalene, one crystal for each of the colors of the visible spectrum. This being the only one uncovered. These stones were found near Jerusalem and were of such beauty and grace they named them after the Blessed Mother herself. The stones possessed power when together, they can control the minds of whomever, whenever. The holder of the stones can control the world-that gentlemen, is what we are going to do."

"I hate to burst your bubble Ra's, but were 6 stones short of a spectrum." Lock-Up informed him.

"What? How many colors are there?" Chill asked

"It's a rainbow you simpleton, how many colors are in a rainbow?" Strange asked

"Uh...now let's see here one-two-three-"

"Lyle just said it you imbecile-7, a rainbow has 7 colors, and have one!" Ra's fumed "Last time I checked 7 minus one equals 6! Were missing 6 stones!"

"Hey-hey cut me a break, I never finished middle school." Chill defended.

"You mean to tell me between Kindergarten through 8th grade they never taught you colors?" Strange asked Chill just shrugged

"you know it's a sad thing when a 56 year old man can't even deduce the colors of a rainbow. Alright gentlemen, we have bigger problems." Ra's continued "This is the only known stone in existence, that means there are 6 still hidden somewhere. Good news." Ra's stood up "That means no one else will find them either, and believe me I have enough connections to make sure were the only ones that will find them. Well believe we got a lot accomplished today gentlemen, meeting adjourned."

"Hey, that's my job." Strange added

"Then say it damn you, I wanna go check into my hotel and take a nap."

"Fine, meeting adjourned."

"Thank you. We'll be back tomorrow, come Ubu."

"Yes master." they left.

"Well, time for me to pack it in too." Chill stretched

"And while you're at it, learn the damn colors will ya?" Lock-Up asked

"Ha-ha, everyone's a f*cking comedian."

The Next Day at Wayne Manor, the phone rang, and Jason just so happened to answer it

"I got it...Hello?"

"_Hello? Whose this?"_

"This is Jason Drake, who's this?"

"_Ugh, is Trent Wayne there?"_

"Sure, yo Trent!" the billionaire entered

"What is it Jas?"

"chick on the phone for you, she sounds disgruntled."

"Ugh, dammit, gimme." he took the phone "Look Candy, about what I said last night, we were both drunk I-"

"_Trent? It's me Andrea!"_

"Andrea?" Trent perked up, so did Alfred, who was nearby "Andrea Beaumont?"

"_I see you still remember me."_

"How could I forget." Trent sat on a nearby chair "So, uh, why you calling?"

"_What I can't say hi?"_

"...I haven't heard from you in years, and believe me you know the circumstances weren't pretty, no there is no way you just call to say hi." By now, Alfred, Jason, Cody, and Sara were gathered round to listen in.

"_Alright you caught me hotshot, I'm coming back to Gotham, I plan to be a councilman-er woman as it were."_

"Oh that's great, but why now?"

"_Believe me, I have a few things to do with this city."_

"Well I should say you do, well since you're coming into town you should stop by."

"_Well that would be great, I'll be seeing you, you still living at your folks place?"_

"Nowhere else I'd rather be."

"_I'll be right over, bye Trent." she hung up._

"Bye." he did the same and made a happy sigh. "What?"

"Don't you what me sir, why do you want her back in your life, especially after the way she left you all those years ago."

"No-no, no story, they'll connect the dots at some point, oh boy I'm so excited so see her again, we should call our friends and make a cake or something."

"We have friends?" Sara asked

"You're gonna make a cake?" Cody asked

"You're smiling?" Alfred asked

"I am, now let's get rolling, Alfred call Rachel, Mayor Hill, Jordan, Bridgette, Chris, Gil, Leslie, whoever, Cody, Sara, were making a cake, Jason...don't break anything."

"Can do."

"Trent we don't know the first thing about cake making." Cody informed him

"Neither do I, let's crack open a recipe, and learn."

"Ugh, I hate learning." Sara complained

"Yeah we just graduated high school, the last thing we wanna do is learn."

Later that day, everyone started to arrive, the first being Gil, Chris, and Bridgette.

"Hey there Trent...or should I say Batman." Gil said smugly

"He put two and two together again." that equals 10 right?

"Ugh, Gil you better shut-up about this."

"No worries, I can keep a secret, hell I owe you saved my life once."

"I did?" Trent asked

"Oh no wait I saved YOUR life once, but I'm sure you did it and I just forgot, whatever."

"Yeah."

"Ew...what smells like a dead goat?" Chris asked

"Smells more like burning rubber left out in the sun to me." Gil added

"No, it's kinda like dead flesh with a side of skunk in a mortuary."

"...It's a cake." Trent sighed

"Well fix it dammit!" they walked in. Alfred and Rachel left the closet, each of their outfits were a tad winked

"Oh, Master Trent...and guests." Alfred sighed

"Hi everyone." Rachel waved sheepishly

"Oh uh sir, before I forget, Mayor Hill had to cancel, he's swearing in a new councilman today."

"Alright."

"And Dr. Tomkins had multiple surgeries today and also could not join us."

"That's alright, come on, we have a cake to fix."

"Should we wear gas masks?" Gil asked

"That would be a yes."

Later that day, a nice silver Jaguar pulled up to Wayne Manor, and out came a woman, with long red hair and blue eyes, the other, younger, curvy, with short brown hair, they knocked at the door. Trent answered it

"Andrea?" no, the pizza guy

"Trent?"

"It is you!" they shared a long overdue hug.

"Oh hey, this is my daughter Rebecca."

"Hi Mr. Wayne, nice to meet you." she said in a cheery voice.

"You too, please-please, come in." he insisted

"Wow, the old place hasn't changed a bit."

"I know."

Everyone looked at the girls, Jason especially took notice to the daughter.

"Everyone this is...an old friend of mine Andrea Beaumont, and her daughter Rebecca."

"Hi." everyone greeted.

"Hello everyone."

"Andrea, you know this handsome fella here."

"Yes hello Alfred."

"Andrea."

"And this is his girlfriend Rachel Hollander."

"It's a long story." she said noticing that Andrea was looking at her robo-ness.

"This is out police commissioner Chris Gordon, and his daughter Bridgette."

"Hey."

"This is Gil Mason our Vice commissioner."

"Nice to meet you Miss Beaumont."

"Please, Andrea."

"This is Cody Drake my ward."

"Hi."

"And this is his girlfriend Sara, Alfred's ward."

"Hello."

Uh, Geoff Grayson, he was my first ward."

"Hi there...again the chair is a long story."

"And this is Jason Drake, Cody's older brother." Jason kept starring at Rebecca, who was starring back at him.

"Jason?" Trent asked trying to get him out of his trance like state

"Uh, yeah, nice to meet you."

"Well, I should hope you all get this party underway, I need a few words with the guest of honor."

"I'm sure." Trent took Andrea into the study. "Look, I'm sure you're mad...but you know I had to go, cause of dad. He's dead anyhow, I'm so sorry though."

"I know. It was just-"

"Such a bad time Trent, I really wanted to marry, you-t-t-t-t-that note I sent, was a lie, I couldn't tell you everything."

"But...But, e-everything...so fast."

"I know." she got closer to him "Look, maybe this is fate telling us, we need to start over, huh? What do you say?"

"I don't know-"

"Come on...I owe you."

They then shared a magical kiss and blah-blah-blah this an action show dammit with a generous sprinkling of comedy, there's no room for thus mushy bullsh*t!

"And since you're here to stay, you and Rebecca should stay here awhile, at least till you find your own place."

"I'd like that."

Later that evening Alfred was busy cleaning up from the party when he heard some slopping sounds coming from the closet, who should pop out but Jason and Rebecca

"Gah!"

"Uh-uh, and that Rebecca, was our living room closet."

"Oh it was so nice, very spacious." they walked away suspiciously."

"Ugh." Alfred sighed, Andrea walked passed him, going towards the door

"It's late Miss Beaumont, might I ask where you're going?"

"I'm going out for some air Alfred."

"Alright then."

Cutscene now to the Gotham Towers in Cherry Hill, 5 drunks would check into the place, those drunks were none other than the recently escaped Ferris Boyle, Harleen Quinzel, Justin Jones, Dora Smithy, and Owen Cobblepot. Justin was the most sober out of them.

"Checking in?" The desk clerk asked

"You sure as hell can!" okay I never said he was sober enough to be normal. "We'd like a suite, and a damn good one at that!"

"We have one available, will that be cash?"

"No, plastic." Owen handed the man his credit card.

"Alright, here you go, suite 7."

"Thank you." Justin took the room key. "Come on guys." they adjourned to the elevator. Dora had her arms around Owen.

"You know...Owen, this might be the large amounts of alcohol in my veins, but for whatever reason, I think you are the sexiest man alive!" she slurred giving him a kiss or two

"A man of great weight was once a symbol of power and wealth my little pippin." he added

"Well then were both right then!"

"Hey-hey, get a room you...pinheads!" Ferris slurred

"Yeah-yeah you don't see us, just making out like that."

"Oh...wait a minute Harl."

"Yeah we do!" they too shared some kisses

"Hey wait a second guys...we do have a room!" Justin chuckled, they entered the suite.

Turns out their suite was right next to Ra's. Across the street though, someone was looking in on the villains room, ready to pounce.

"Erg." Ra's threw a pillow on his face, and tried to sleep "ERG!" he awoke again "Never in my life have I heard more pointless noise in all my years...and I slept through Pearl Harbor." he woke up, and quickly got dressed, Ubu walked out from his room too

"Master?" if you're wondering, Ubu wears, a sleep shirt, pants, and a sleeping cap

"I'll be back Ubu, I just need to show our rude neighbors he business, my God they've made so much noise, they've been there for 10 bloody minutes-[CRASH]" he heard a loud crash from next door, followed by screaming. "Oh that tears it." he took a Beretta 9mm from his suitcase, and stuck it in a special holster behind him, his cape of course blocking it.

"Will you be alright?"

"Of course, if my words won't put some fear into them, I'm sure Mr. Beretta here will, I'll be back." Ra's left and pounded on the other door.

"Hey! Open up in there some of us are trying to sleep!" he noticed the door was unlocked, he opened it and gasped

"I'm telling you the truth, I haven't seen the Joker in ages I swear!" Harleen sobbed. She was lifted by the collar while a scary looking dude in a costume shook her down, the other four were subdued, scattered about the room

"Gasp!" the guy turned his attention to Ra's.

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	222. Mask of Phantasm, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

The specter wore a dark ensemble, a tight body suit underneath a tattered gray tunic and hoodie. A specter, hockey-like mask...thing covered their face. Their left hand was gloved, the right, was an odd blade shaped like a scimitar. (If you don't understand, Google Phantasm from Batman) This person looked like the Ghost of Christmas Future.

"Who are you?" Ra's asked, the...dude dropped Harleen

"Yipe."

"Who are you?" it asked. quickly drew his gun

"I asked you first."

"I asked you second."

"What the hell does that matter I asked you first dammit!"

"I don't care I'll answer after you."

"You forget I'm the one holding the gun now spill it!"

The specter tossed a ninja star like thing at the gun, pinning it against the wall, right from the demon's hand.

"I had a gun." Ra's quivered.

"Now, who are you?" he asked pointing the claw

"I am he who is called Ra's Al Ghul."

"The Demon's head?"

"Yes."

"I've heard of you."

"Join the club. Now, you."

"I am new to town, Phantasm is the name ."

"Why are you here?" Ra's asked

"I search for the one known as the Joker."

"Humph, have you checked the 99 cents store?" Ra's scoffed

"Cute." Phantasm said dryly. He picked up Harleen again

"Ah!" he put the claw to her neck

"Let the girl go, she can't help you...none of those imbecile's can."

"Just as well, I need to rid this town of these costumed freaks, but Napier being at the top of my list."

"I know Joker never hangs out at the same place twice." Justin muttered half awake, and still bleeding. "He likes...anywhere, that's...f-funny." Ferris added

"What do you mean funny?" Phantasm asked turning around

"You know...puns and whatnot." Owen wheezed equally weak.

"Anything that could be used as a joke, he stays."

"Figures he whold-yah!" Phantasm was suddenly tackled to the ground by Ra's, Harleen was let go.

"Ow, bastard!" he elbowed Ra's back towards the door, the demon drew a rapier short-sward from a sheath. He stood up, and wiped the blood from his nose

"Were even."

"Are we? YAH!" Phantasm lunged

"En garde then!"

The two fought in the hallway, Ra's dodging whatever thrust phantasm could muster with the claw.

"I must warn you, I learned from the best!"

"I must warn you Demon, I sincerely do not care."

"Hmm, shrewd, you remind me of someone I know, only more of a darker kind of person in that respect."

"Thanks, you must also know I don't-[crash]"

"Hmm, wonder who that could be?" out from the room, you know who entered

"Batman." Phantasm was intrigued

"You're a tad late for the festivities detective, but perhaps you could join us for cake!" Ra's raised his sward, but was promptly tripped by Phantasm "Yai!" he hit the floor.

"Who are you?"

"I am Phantasm! And I don't have time for you Batman!"

"Well too bad, you just made time!" he lunged "Yai!" only for Phantasm to cut his left arm up a little which didn't phase him too much. Then he threw him right into the slump of Ra's. "Oof!"

"Get off of me!"

"Adios Batman, I trust we'll be seeing each other soon...I should hope you'll stay out of my way!"Phantasm suddenly disappeared into a cloud of smoke.

"Ugh." Batman stood up and rubbed his head "Phantasm." Ra's also stood up

"Hmm, I expected better from you." he dusted himself off, Angered Batman slammed him against the wall.

"Listen you! I don't know what you're up to Ra's, but I can assure you whatever it is, I will stop you!"

"Hmm-hmm-hmm, believe me detective, you have more pressing matters to attend to." Ra's motioned to the villains crawling out of the room.

"Right." he turned back to Ra's "Don't leave town!" he dropped the demon to arrest the others

"Oh believe me Detective, if I do leave you'll be the first to know."

"Sure..now, what did Phantasm want, exactly?"

"Well not me if that's what you're implying, kept rambling on and on about the Joker, where he was, you know the deal."

"The Joker? What's his beef with the Joker?"

"What's anyone's beef with the Joker? Everyone has some semblance of a vendetta against that maniac clown, it seems he finally pissed someone off so badly they're actually doing something about it in the most eerie and creative way imaginable, or; what we have here, is someone who is finally taking a stand against him. If I didn't totally despise the man, I'd weep for him." after that Batman apprehended the villains were then disappeared, Ubu emerged from Ra's suite.

"Uh...what I miss?"

Over at the Police HQ infirmary, an uncowled Trent was being treated for his wounds by Leslie Tomkins, Chris and Gil were also in said infirmary.

"Ugh..." he sighed

"You know sometimes I wonder when you'll ever grow out of this." Leslie said applying some bandages

"When the city is officially declared safe...and when Joe Chill is brought to justice."

"Chill?" Gil asked

"Heard of him?" Trent asked

"How could I not, back when Caroline and I controlled Stonegate, he was in and out of there so many times we named a wing after him."

"Why's he important Trent?" Chris asked

"Joseph Chill is the man who murdered Thomas and Martha Wayne all those years ago."

"Really?"

"I'll never forget that day...ever."

"So, what do you know about this Phantasm guy?" Gil asked

"I was hoping you two would have the answer to that one."

"Well you got me, he's not on any of our records." Chris said searching through a file or two

"He's obviously new. Ra's mentioned something about him taking a stand...something tells me Joker finally made someone go off the deep end."

"Yeah well, God help the next person who messes with that guy." Chef barged in at that moment

"Hey Commissioner I uh...oh." he noticed Batman, who quickly cowled himself "I suppose this is a bad time, I'll be back later." he left

"Whew."

"That was close."

"Alright, just keep the bandages on your arm, it'll be good as new."

"Thanks Leslie." he turned to the commissioners "One thing bugs m though."

"What is it?"

"Chris, when did you learn I was the Batman?"

"Back when I found out about Bridge, Dad told me about you...he said he knew for a long time, but you know how he's prone to exager-huh?" Chris turned his head, and Batman was gone

"Humph, same old Trent." Leslie shook her head.

The next day at City Hall, a tired Andrea sat in her office.

"Knock-knock."

"Oh, good morning Mayor."

"And how goes your fist official day Miss Councilman?"

"Oh you know-[yawn]-tiring I guess."

"Looks that way, you appear to be pretty strung out."

"Oh I just lad a sleepless night, that happens to the best of us, right?"

"Well, I suppose so."

"Anyway I have a lot of plans for this city, big plans."

"Well good, if there's one thing this city needs, it's another go-to politician with a solid and honest head on their shoulders."

"Well you've certainly found the right woman you did. Oh would you look at the time, I'm nearly late for dinner. Gotta run, see you tomorrow."

"Goodbye Andrea, you need me to walk you to your car?"

"No-no, I'm fine, believe me." she walked away. Hill remained in her office, with a smile. "Hmm, I wonder what her big plans are exactly?" he walked over to her desk and noticed a manilla file. "This looks promising." he sat on her desk, and flipped through the file, his smile quickly turned to a frown.

"What the? Immediate Irradiation of all costumed heroes and crooks in Gotham City?" he looked through the pictures of all the baddies, Phantasm not being one of them. "What in the world?" eventually he came to a picture of V-Bat. "Erg!" Hill growled tearing up the paper. "Well, I can assure you Councilman Beaumont, this is one bill that will never be passed." he folded the file back up, and plopped it into the nearby shredder. "Oops, my hand slipped, dopey me." Ham angrily left her office in a hrumph.

Bridgette had joined the dysfunctional family for dinner. She noticed Andrea and Trent make googly eyes at each other the whole time.

"I hope everyone's hungry, for I made my famous three cheese casserole." wow, that sounds wicked gross! Anyway, from the beginning Bridgette knew something wasn't too right about Andrea. That, and the fact that Jason and Rebecca couldn't keep their eyes off of each other either.

Later that evening, it would happen again.

"Andrea?" Trent asked

"Oh, I'm uh...going out for some air."

"But it's raining."

"I know...I like the rain, I'll be back later."

"Now that you mention it, I have some things to do too."

So, Twas later that evening, and Batgirl was in Midtown, on the edge of a gargoyle atop the Shmysler Building. She was alone, and listening in on any police reports that she could find.

"Still nothing to report...except I'm more soaked than a Chinchilla...in a...I dunno I'm sure there's some Southern metaphor for this."

"_Just keep your eyes peeled Batgirl, oh; I told you about Phantasm right?"_

"Yeah?"

"_Well if you find him, proceed with caution."_

"Gotcha, where are you now?"

"_South Gotham, pretty quiet."_

"Okay...so, can we...you know, talk about Andrea?"

"_Not the time nor the place, tomorrow."_

"Roger that." she sighed ending the transmission. She sighed again, this pity party was interrupted by the sirens of police cars down below. "Well, let's see if I have a bite." she turned her communicator to the police scanner.

"_Attention, calling all available units Riddler spotted in Midtown heading north, all availiable units respond, over."_

"And that would be me." she launched a bat hook and swung down.

She landed on a lower rooftop, and looked at some of the smaller buildings directly beneath her. And there was in fact someone matching Riddler's description running across the rooftops

"Shpingo, time to reel this fish in!" she jumped to a few building's alongside that one. Riddler had disappeared behind the wall to a roof door near the edge of the roof, then he disappeared, Batgirl could see he didn't jump.

"Okay, not the way I would have chosen." she said suspiciously. She ducked behind the wall, and turned her head, and was surprised what she saw

"For the last time you Specter you, I don't know where the Joker is, nobody does! We haven't seen him in weeks! Maybe months!"

"Are you sure?"

"Gasp, that must be Phantasm." Batgirl whispered, Phantasm turned his head, Batgirl gasped and ducked hers away

"What, whose there?" Riddler asked nervously

"Nothing, I thought I heard something. Now where were we?" Batgirl drew a batarang from behind cover.

"Look, if I knew where he was don't you think I'd tell you?"

"I dunno Nygma, would you?"

"I would! I swear! He hasn't been seen since he last escaped over 6 months ago, we think the fact of being bitched by Harley Quinn took the joke right out of him! He might have skipped town."

"Great!" he threw Riddler "Thanks for nothing! Now here's your reward!"

"No-no-noooo!" he beat him once or twice.

"I gotta stop this." Batgirl turned her head, but just as she did, Phantasm was right there "GASP!"

"Eavesdropping is quite rude young lady hyah!" Craksh!

"Oof!" Phantasm punched Batgirl down, while taking a brick or two off of the wall, a piece of her cowl came off, not enough to reveal her though

"You're finished Phantasm! Finished!" she launched her batarang, miss. "Shoot."

"Ha-ha-ha, not bad, you're quite ballsey, too bad I don't give a damn." he raised a fist, and Batgirl threw another one "AH!" this one took the mask right off of Phantasm, revealing-

"Gah! A-Andrea?"

"That's right little girl." she grabbed Batgirl by the collar "And I suggest if you want keep your wings you stay out of my way! And tell your boss the Batman to do the same, I will have the Joker! And no ones gonna stop me!" she dropped her briefly just to punch her in the face.

"OOF!" she hit the roof, hard. Andrea picked up her mask and looked at the two K-Oed supers.

"Well it's been real, but really should run." she put her mask back on. "Wherever you are Joker...your days are numbered...Phantasm is coming for ya. Ha-ha-ha-ha-AHa-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

**To be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Part deuce coming up next! Stay tuned!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Pennyworth

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson

**Cle Bennett: **Detective Harvey 'Chef' Bullock

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Dana Delaney: **Andrea Beaumont

**Clancy Brown: **Phantasm

**Rob Paulsen: **Vice Commissioner Gil Mason, Hotel Clerk

**David Warner: **Ra's Al Ghul

**Jim Cummings: **Ubu

**Tara Strong: **Rebecca Beaumont, Rachel Hollander

**David Kaufman: **Jason Drake

**Kath Soucie: **Dr. Leslie Tomkins

**Scott McCord: **Owen Cobblepot

**Mark Hamill: **Ferris Boyle

**Adam Reid: **Justin Jones

**Arleen Sorkin: **Harleen Quinzel

**Jennifer Hale: **Dora Smithy

**Corey Burton: **Hugo Strange

**Richard Moll: **Lyle Bolton/Lock-Up, Police Scanner

**Charlie Adler: **Joe Chill

**Carter Hayden: **Noah Nygma/Riddler


	223. Mask of Phantasm, Part III

**Villain(s): Phantasm, Andrea Beaumont, Duncan Napier, Sal Valestra, Joe Chill, Joker Featuring: Ra's Al Ghul, Hugo Strange, Lock-Up**

**Archive: The Mask of Phantasm (1993)**

**Written by: Lots!**

**Directed By: Eric Radomski**

**. . .**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Curt Geda&Dan Riba**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini&Michael Reaves&Steve Perry**

**Art Direction: Ted Blackman&Bruce Timm**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 108: Mask of Phantasm (Part II)**

"What!" Andrea fumed at mayor Hill

"I'm sorry Councilman Beaumont, but that's the way it has to be."

"But you don't understand my logic."

"And I really don't want to."

"I thought you would understand?" she choked up

"I understand plenty." Mayor Hill walked towards his office window. "I'm sorry Andrea, I know for whatever reason you have a distrust for the costumed society this city has bred in your absence, some good, many bad." he turned to her "But rest assured, the Bat team and our police forece do all they can to keep them at bay, I cannot allow their eradication, villains, heroes, or tricker-treaters alike!"

"But Mayor-"

"No buts councilman, my word is final, the costumed are staying the way they are."

"Wa-"

"And I don't wanna hear another word about it."

"But-"

"Good day councilman."

"The Joker-"

"I SAID GOOD DAY!" Ooh Mayor Hill laying down the law!

"Fine...if you can't help me rid this town of these costumed freaks, then I know someone who can." she left, slamming the door.

"...Got DAMMIT!" Hill stomped in anger, then he sat in his chair "This is the last thing I need right now! I got an election coming up for pity's sake!" he got out his phone, and called Trent. Who of course answered happily.

"_Hello?"_

"Lover Boy, it's your illegitimate mentor speaking."

"_Willie Nelson?"_

"What? No, it's me Ham Hill."

"_Oh hey, what's up?"_

"I think we gotta problem with your little girlie friend, apparently she leads a very...how should I put it...angry existence."

"_Andrea? Not possible, shes one of the nicest people in the world."_

"Cripes." Ham rubbed his temples "I see you're still in the honeymoon phase, so allow me to jog your memory as to who YOU are, what YOU do, and how SHES threatening it."

"_I'm listening."_

"At different times for similar reasons you and I sore an oath, an oath to protect the city from the night. And every night hence we've protected the citizens of this fine city from whatever the night throws at it. F*ck it, we are the night! We've made names for ourselves...all of us...of Bats, and Birds, Exterminators and hoods alike. I'm not gonna let you sit around in f*ck city while the rest of us are busting our humps to keep the oath we've made! What's worse we got Ra's and whoever planning some kind of global conquest, and to put the icing on the Misery Cake, which God forbid I hope you didn't bake...we got this, Phantasm-f*cker, running around with some vendetta against our favorite maniac clown who for some unforeseen reason decided to go incognito and apparently vanished off the face of the earth! And now this person is going over chip and dale knocking over whoever gets I their way to find someone who I would be happy to say should be dead! I would be so much better if this psychotic individual; so much so then but out of sheer irony could compare to the person their trying to eliminate, didn't look, act, and fight like the Grim FUCKING REAPER! All this whiny I'm suddenly happy bullsh*t cause of some flame you had from your college days? Who by the way, wants EVERY freak in a mask, us included gonzo. Thank Christ I managed to destroy her playbook when I stumbled upon it yesterday! If she even knew she would whack you in a heartbeat! But you know everything don't you Trent? Are you gonna let all you've worked for, all your hopes and dreams for a better safer Gotham, be dashed be a piece of well tapped ginger pussy and some miserable cretin in a GOT DAMN MASK? Well?"

. . .

"_...I believe you meant to say over HILL and dale, not chip and dale you dummy." _

"Screw you! You know Trent, I thought I knew who you were once, but clearly, I was wrong. So go have fun with your little girlfriend...if you need me, I'll be on the rooftops of 5050 I don't give a sh*t street! And when you realize you're wrong, and I'm right, feel free to join us."

"_...I'm afraid I can't do that mayor." _

"Why's that, you gotta date or something?"

"_No...I've suddenly realized you're right...I am happy, I'm very happy with my life, I have a normal girl, with a normal life who loves me unconditionally, I haven't been happier since i was 8. I think it's time to give up the game."_

"W-what are you saying?"

"_I'm saying...I'm not going to be Batman anymore." Trent hung up._

"No...ERGGGGG!" he angrily chucked his phone against the wall. "Sh*t...what the hell did I do that for?"

Over at Wayne Manor, the Bat-Cave to be exact, Trent had just hung up, he turned around to see, Alfred, Cody, Bridgette, Geoff, Sara, and Jason standing there in aw.

"Why?" Bridgette asked nearly to tears

"...Life's different now." Trent tried to put on his usual scowl though he desperately wanted to smile. "I'm happy now. I thought you guys would be happy for me too?"

"We are buddy."

"Of course Master Trent."

"It's just...you don't really know her." Bridgette added

"I do-"

'Believe me you don't!" Sara cut him off "Not like us, not what Bridgette told us."

"And what was that?" Trent asked looking at Bridgette.

"Trent...there's no easy way for me to say this...last night I was patrolling, I ran into Phantasm-"

"I know, you were delirious when I picked you up from the fight."

"Yeah but, I got a look at them, under the mask...It's Andrea. Shes Phantasm."

"What?" the billionaire jumped "That's absurd-"

"It's the truth! Believe me."

"I know it's not...clearly, you don't know the whole story, about me and Andrea. It goes a little something like this..."

_-Flashback-_

_Trent at age 24. _

_It was a thing I used to do, I only do it today if I just need peace. I would go to my parent's grave...and I would talk to them...It sounds strange I know...but believe me, it helped put my mind at ease it did._

"_Hey guys...brought you some roses." I laid them right in front of the grave "Well, I'm sorry I can't stay later, but I really have to r-"_

"_And if Daddy get's any more protective I swear he's gonna put a moat around my bedroom-ha-ha-ha." I saw her, a few graves in front. Having a loud conversation with what looked to be her mother's grave...could it be, someone shares the same quirks as I? "So anyway?" she turned around, startled_

"_Oh, I'm...I'm sorry." _

"_No, it's alright, I was just having a conversation with my mother. What about you?"_

"_I was...doing the same, with my parents..." I felt it was getting awkward "Okay then." she went back to talking to her mother_

"_You know who that was? Trent Wayne, of Wayne Enterprises! I've seen him on Campus, very moody, cute though." Well that was all I needed to hear. "Oh, still here, I hope you weren't eaves dropping."_

"_It's uh...ha-ha, kinda hard, we are...after all-"_

"_The only two live people here?"_

"_Yes." I gave her a half smile. We then started to walk "She doesn't have much to say anyway today." I walked her to her car "What were you talking to your parents about?"_

"_I uh...I made a vow. A secret vow."_

"_Ooh, a mystery...have you kept your vow?"_

"_So far." I opened up her front door. "Thanks. Andrea Beaumont."_

"_Trent Wayne."_

"_I know, the boy billionaire, tell me, with all that wealth and power, why do you always look like you wanna jump off a cliff?"_

"_Why do you care?"_

"_I don't." she started it up "Mother was asking." she drove away. _

_For awhile, I was operating as a vigilante, but simply as a masked guy catching crooks, like looked like one of them, not like someone who wanted to fight them. The next day, I was sparring alone in the backyard._

"_I read up about your exploits, you sure you won''t want to consider rugby...or pro football...or perhaps the CIA?"_

"_No! The plan is working Alfred! I know it! I'm becoming a force to be reckoned with, but what I need is a gimmick that will truly strike fear into the hearts of criminals!" _

"_You mean like the old Batman?"_

"_Yes Alfred! Just like that! Just like the Batman."_

"_Well Master Trent, I suggest we stow the shop talk, you seem to have a visitor." _

"_Andrea?"_

"_Hi, it's been four days since we met and still no calls, I figured you must be dead or something." she noticed the bandages about my body "Gosh what happened to you? Fall over some loose cash or something?"_

"_Humph, you expect every guy you meet to call you?" _

"_Only the ones smart enough to dial a phone. What are you doing anyway?"_

"_Jijitsu!"_

"_Gesundheit." I frowned "That was a joke."_

"_Jijitsu is no laughing matter, it's a serious fighting method...helps hone the body to all it's skills." _sounds more like Harold to me. _"and it takes years to masteeee-[thud]" the flipped me_

"_Still got a few bugs to work out. I took many self defense classes for girls."_

"_Ha-ha-ha-ha."_

"_He laughs.-gah!" I side swiped her, then got her in a fall. "Not bad, can you dance too?"_

"_Pretty well." we shared our first kiss._

_So, Andi and me started to get serious. I can remember one of our favorite dating spots was the the old Gotham Look Into the Future Attraction. I wonder what they did with the old place. But it was then she decided it was time for me to meet her dad, the wealthy and important investment banker, Carl Beaumont. _

"_Uh...Daddy, you got a minute?"_

"_Pumpkin." the aging businessman said happily "Come in, come in. Oh, I see you've brought you're little friend."_

"_Nice to meet you sir." we shook hands_

"_Sir? Don't be so formal, Andrea's told me so much about you I feel like I already know you...so at last I meet the illustrious Trent Wayne." _

_Outside, someone else arrived...someone sinister._

"_You want us to go with you boss?"_

"_No-no, I can handle this Duncan, you and Vito stay in the car, I doubt I'll be long."_

"_Yes sir." _

. . .

"_Gee, I hope were not interrupting anything?" I asked_

"_Not at all. You know Trent I deal with a lot of money and-"_

"_Uh, excuse me sir." his secretary entered "There's a Mr. Valestra here to see you, he says he has an appointment." Carl got nervous_

"_Ugh, well Virginia, if Mr. Valestra says he has an appointment, then Mr. Valestra has an appointment."_

"_That's what I like about your old man kiddo." he says "He puts his priorities first." he took one of Carl's cigars and lit it. We left. Though when we walked out of the building I felt as though we were being watched. _

"_Did my shirt get tight or is that my flesh crawling?"_

"_It's okay Trent, Mr. Valestra isn't exactly what you would call straight and narrow, but that's Daddy's business."_

"_Hey Vito...ain't that Trent Wayne?"_

"_The boy billionaire, well I should say that is Duncan." _

"_I bet he's got some petty cash on him he don't want." he drew a switch blade._

"_Wait, wait, hang on, check it, possible mugger 2 o' clock."_

"_What are you a cop now?"_

"_F*ck you, just watch."_

_. . ._

"_It's not that Andrea...it's everything-"_

"_Help! Help! He stole my purse!"_

"_Gasp!" I chased up to the mugger coming my way_

"_Trent wait." _

"_Hang on! Hey pal! That don't belong to you!"_

"_Oh yeah, what are you gonna-[OOF]" I knocked his block off, then bashed his face into the pavement. Andrea could barely watch. "Alright, alright man, I get it, I get it, here's the purse!"_

"_That's more like it, now scram!"_

"_Yes sir!" he dashed away, and I handed the old lady her purse._

"_Here you go ma'am."_

"_Thank you."_

"_Trent that was..."_

"_Incredible?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Well, I'm just full of surprises."_

_In the van, Duncan and Vito gasped, Vito even dropped his knife._

"_I uh...don't think we'll be getting dime out of him, what say you Dunk?"_

"_I agree." he lit a smoke "You'd have to be CRAZY to go against him...wait, what say you? My God Hamlet, you been reading again?"_

"_F*ck you."_

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	224. Mask of Phantasm, Part IV

**PLEASE REVIEW! LEEROOOOOOOOOOOOY JENKINS!**

At the secret hideout, which isn't so secret anymore, Hugo and Lock-Up waited patiently for Ra's and Chill for part II of their pre-global conquest meeting.

"Where is he?" Hugo paced "I can understand Joe being late, the imbecile can't even tie his own shoes, but Ra's? His schedules tighter than an Englishman's cricket shoes!"

"Patience Hugo, I'm sure they'll be along."

"This coming from you? Patience?"

"Yeah that's I'm a patient guy."

"We saw the Inside Man last week, you watched one third of it, then went to your quarters and read this month's Jugs!"

"The movie was boring me, did he rob the bank, did he not rob the bank, was he living in the bank-It bored me."

"Well don't go talking on about patience when you can't even-[ker-slam]"

"Hurry Ubu! Shut the door!"

"Yes master-[slam]"

"You set the shadows outside right?"

"Yes of course master-but, I think we lost him."

"Well make sure anyway, look twice kill once."

"Yes master." Ra's turned to the others.

"Ra's?"

"What happened to you?" His clothes were tattered, and he was bleeding a little.

"That...that-that-that-FIEND Phantasm! He's turning the city upside down I tell you-knocking over any freak in a costume, I was away from Ubu and my guards for nearly a minute or two and he attacked me, asking about that clown-white buffoon Napier! Before we start any kind of plans we must consider how to deal with such a fearless adversary...well, don't everyone think of something at once." suddenly the door flung open again

"Ask and ye shall receive boss." Joe said, an older gentleman was next to him.

"Joseph, so glad you can join us." Strange said sarcastically

"Where were you, learning how to make a paper mache hat, or how to count to 20 without your hands and feet?" Lock-Up asked

"I think you fellas will change your tune, once you he who this is."

"The old fart?" Lock-Up asked

"Old fart?" Joe took offense "Lyle this man is none other than Salvatore Valestra, former Godfather to the Valestra crime syndicate, and my old boss."

"Pleasure to meet you all." he said old and weak.

"And, how is he going to help us?" Ra's asked

"Tell em boss."

"I figure there's one person in this whole damn city to get rid of this Phantasm person...The Joker."

"You tired old dipstick, that's the very person he's trying to kill!" Strange fumed

"Exactly, he'll be expecting it, which is why were going to have the upper hand. Joker is crafty you see, I'm certain if he's pissed for no apparent reason on most days, imagine his reaction when someone is trying to kill him."

"Hmm, not a bad idea." Ra's pondered

"Yeah well, we still don't even know where Joker is." Lock-Up reminded them

"Aha, but we do." Sal said "He used to work for me too, I still keep in touch with him whenever I can, I believe he's hidden at the old Gotham Future attraction...place, I got some money, Joe and I will go over there and make him an offer he's not gonna refuse. Capice?"

"...Go forth." Ra's smiled.

_And back to Flashback land!_

_Twas another raining night, I was by the fireplace going over some preliminary sketches of how I should look. _

"_Erg...nothing makes sense! Why is this so freaking hard!" I tossed another crumbled up piece into the fireplace._

"_Might I suggest some art classes Master Trent?"_

"_I'm not in the mood Alfred, I've got so much on my mind right now." I stood up "Why am I still doing this for! It's gotta be one or the other I can't have both! I can't do it Alfred, I can't put my life on the line knowing there's still someone to go home to"_

"_Miss Beaumont would be glad you feel that way Master Trent...shes holding on line 1." he held up the phone, I simply starred at it. "Master Trent?"_

"_Alfred I can't, not now!" I staggered to the door_

"_Uh, what should I tell her sir?"_

"_I...I-I...I don't know...I just don't know." _

_I found myself at my parent's grave site...in the pouring rain_

"_Look...I-It's not that I don't care anymore, it just doesn't hurt so badly that's all...Look, I can give the city money, they can hire more cops! I know it looks like I'm breaking my promise but it's different now!" I fell to my knees "It's different now. I didn't see this coming-never counted on it...that, somehow I could be happy...please, tell me that it's okay."_

"_Maybe they already have."_

"_Gasp!" I turned around, and there she was, Andrea, _

"_Maybe they sent me..."_

_So our love was very much rekindled. My conscience was clear. So the very next day, I took her near the cliff's edge by my house. _

"_My father is really keen on taking me to Europe, but I really want to move?"_

"_Move, why move?"_

"_He is my father Trent, I can't just say no."_

"_Please, hear me out." I simply took out a small box "Ah, I'm no good at this." I gave it to her, and got on one knee. "Uh, what do you say?" _

"_Oh...Trent...YES! Oh I always thought I like, threw you this big curveball like I wasn't part of the plan!" I put the ring on her. _

"_You are now, I'm changing the plan-" we embraced, but it was short lived, suddenly a horde of bats flew from a small cave opening right by us_

"_SCREEEEEEEECH!"_

"_Ah!"_

"_Get behind me!" the bats flew right out of there._

_But, little did I know of what was to come, we were on our way to her dad's to tell her the news, Sal and his crew had other ideas._

Duncan waited in the driver's seat with Vito next to him. A sober Joe Chill, carried a drunk Sal to the back

"_Oh boy, boss had one too many." Vito noticed_

"_Yeah and he brought along that mick Chill...why he keeps hanging around that yo-yo I'll never know."_

"_Al said he was a good earner."_

"_He's a mick, he can't be on our commission."_

"_Whatever, let's just get over wit, huh?"_

"_Yeah, sure." they hopped in_

"_Ah Joey that joke gets funnier-and funnier every time you say it."_

"_Yeah thanks."_

"_Where to boss?" Duncan asked_

"_Oh, Duncan! Take me to that asshole Beaumont's house, I gotta few bones to pick with that mook!" _

"_Sure thing boss." they got underway, Joe did notice it started to smell_

"_Hey...Hey boss?"_

"_Yeah Joey."_

"_What's that smell?"_

"_Jeez, boss you puke?" Vito asked_

"_Oh...ha-ha-ha, yeah that's Frankie Potts."_

"_Frank Potenza? You mean you let that asshole puke in your car?" Duncan asked_

"_No, ha-ha-ha-ha, he's...ha-ha-he's in the trunk."_

"_WHAT!" _

"_Listen we'll fix it once once I have my words with Carl-and boy will there be words! Big words, with lots of syllables!" _

"_You sure you don't want me to do the talking boss?" Vito asked_

"_Course not, I can talk, just drive, and ignore the smell it'll go away." _

_Later we arrived at the place, we could see from a window something wasn't quite right._

"_Uh oh, daddy's got guests...business type guests. He doesn't normally sees clients here, especially at this hour." I opened the door for her. "Maybe we should wait to tell him the good news tomorrow." _

"_Maybe, I'll see you then, okay baby."_

"_Okay, I love you." _

"_Love you too." I hopped back in the car, and noticed someone resembling Duncan Napier, out on the front porch smoking, I glared, I didn't trust him. _

_. . ._

"_Well hello Princess." he chuckled tossing his cigarette aside. _

"_Humph." she walked in. And...until last week, that was the last I saw of her. _

_-End Flashback-_

"Wow...she just left, just like that?" Jason asked

"I was searching this very cave the next day...well...I guess I should explain."

_Dammit, flashback_

_I was in the cave_

"_Yeah it's a cave alright, judging by all the bats, it could be as big as the house, pretty cool actually." I rose up, Alfred had something in his hands, he didn't look too happy. "Alfred?"_

"_This came for you sir." it was from Andrea, my engagement ring with a note "Left with Dad...too young...not ready...forget about me?"_

"_I'm...so sorry sir." Well what could I do, I kept my promise, by that evening, I had avenged Hill's old title...and I became...the new Batman._

_Flashback over_

"So, that's the story."

"You told it so well Trent."

"GASP!" Andrea walked down the steps

"She-she-she-she"

"She knows." Bridgette gasped

"I told her guys, I'm glad Andi and I got back together, I figured sooner or later you guys would understand...It;s with a heavy burden...but I am not going to be Batman anymore."

"GASP!"

"I'm so glad Trent..." she hugged him "I'm glad you told me too, it's nice to know there aren't any secrets among us." she starred daggers at Bridgette. Who gulped

"Thanks, you know I feel like celebrating, come on, let's bake another cake!"

"No-no-no! Please God no!" he grabbed the two lovers "Come on this'll be fun."

"I'll help, God knows you'll need it." Alfred sighed.

"I'll call the fire department." Jason followed

"I'll help dude." Geoff went too

"I'll stay here for a little while Trent, to get better acquainted with the place."

"Good idea Andrea." they disappeared up the stairs. Bridgette had her back to her.

"Well aren't you a piece of work Phantasm...you have Trent fooled, but you can't fool me, I'll expose you! I will." She turned around, and Phantasm was right there "Yipe!" she ducked.

"Sorry Batgirl, but I can't have you ruining my plans! They engaged in a decent fight scene. Bridgette managed to slam her head against a table or two, combos were exchanged, Until Bridgette was beat

"UGH!" she realized a cement block attached to a chain was at her ankle, and Phantasm held her over the pit to the water hanger below "AH!"

"You want to know why I hate Joker so much?"he kicked off the mask

"It goes something like this."

_I walked inside and creaked the office door open just a little, inside stood Sal, tipsy, with Vito and Joe. _

"_I'll have you the money Sal I pr-"_

"_You dipsh*t! That's what you said last week-well where is it Carl!"_

"_Boss-boss please, let Joe and I handle this, you're drunk-"_

"_You're drunk you...drunk! I can handle myself Vito."_

"_Sal listen, I'm sorry I'm-"_

"_You're a liar Beaumont! Why for what it's worth, how do I know you ain't working for that prick Jim Gordon and his police? Are you wearing a wire you slime!"_

"_No! No of course not, Sal, gimme one last chance!" the front door opened and I hid behind a nearby planter, Duncan entered the room, but closed it so only a crack was open, and I watched_

"_What's all the ruckus?"_

"_Oh good, if it isn't my favorite Lie tenant! Napier I'm through with this bozo! Teach him some manners for me, so I can get my money."_

"_Sure thing." she saw Duncan reach for something._

"_No...No!" Carl lunged...then-[pop-pop]_

"_Unh...ugh-[thud]" My father...was dead._

"_You...IDIOT!" Vito yelled_

_[smack] "Ow!"_

"_What's the matter with you!" _

"_You said teach him some manners!"_

"_Yeah beat the money out of him you stupid gavone!" Vito yelled_

"_Great! Now we got two bodies, perfect!" Sal yelled angry _

"_Duncan's gonna bury them!" Joe yelled_

"_What? Hell no you don't tell me-[creak]-what, to...do?" the door opened accidentally, I was too speechless "Oh sh*t." _

"_No...NOOOO!" I just remember running away. _

"_What do we do?"_

"_Forget her, we just gotta make daddy disappear, we'll bury him next to Potts." _

_Flashback over_

"I wrote Trent the note...and ran away to Europe. Got married, had a child, got divorced, came back here, to exact my perfect revenge."

"Andrea, I realize that was unfortunate but you can't-"

"I can! I'm gonna do the one thing not even Batman will do, I'm gonna kill the joker, and get rid of all the other costumed nutcases in this town along with him...and, since you know my plan...you...must...be...destroyed." she let Bridgette fall

"AHHHHHHHHH! [splash]"

"Hmm, wonder how that cake's doing?"

BUT wait, were not quite done. In the house of the future, the focal point of the old amusement attraction, Sal and Joe waited for Joker.

"you sure he's here Sal?"

"He's here, I just know-" music started up, but as soon as it did -[rapid fire]" shots rang out, and it stopepd

"Gah! I hate that song!" Joker came out of the darkness "Gasp! Can it be? Old Sal Valestra! And Joey Chill too, well what a reunion. Come-come take seat Pisan! Mi cosa nostra es su cosa nostra." they sat, a dog walked passed, it was robotic

"Oh don't mind my home security system, down rusty-[kick] So, fellas, tell me what's on your so called minds."

"A proposition." Sal opened up his money filled suitcase. "Phantasm, I want him gone."

"Oh yes, I read about him...quite efficient."

"I wants you dead Dunk." Joe informed him

"I'm aware."

"Look, I heard Vito Scungili is dead, and since he wants you dead, that can only mean the connection is Beaumont...he'll be after me! And all the other costumed freaks in this city! Look, 5 million to start, and whatever you want when the job is done!"

"Yawn...what do I look like pest control?"

"But he wants you dead!"

"I'm fine here, he'll never find me, why should I help you-" Sal grabbed him

"Caused you killed him you imbecile! What's to stop that creep from making a connection...your hands are just as dirty as mine...dirtier." Joker frowned, and flung his hands off of him "Don't touch me old man! I don't know where you've been." he laughed "Oh Sal, no one can take a joke like you, of course I'll help you out."

"Really?"

"Of course, no way is anyone gonna hurt me or my pal Sal...that's it, that's what I want to see, a nice big smile."

"Well, thanks, I'll be going now." Sal went for the exit

"Not you Joey...we need to catch up."

"Uh, I'll stay here Sal."

"alright." he left.

"Good...no one insults me in my own home-NOBODY! He'll pay, care to help me? I'll pay you half?" Joker held up the suitcase. Dollar signs went into Joe's eyes

"Alright I'm in."

"Good, and if I know my creeps, that means this person will try Sal first to find me...why don't we send him a message-Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Alright guys, get ready for the FINAL Episode! By the way, I had an awesome day! Facebook friends with THE Paul Rugg, Tom Ruegger and Tara Strong! I feel accomplished, alright, stay tuned guys, R&R please!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Pennyworth

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Dana Delaney:** Andrea Beaumont

**David Warner: **Ra's Al Ghul

**Clancy Brown: **Phantasm

**Corey Burton: **Hugo Strange, Mugger

**Charlie Adler: **Joe Chill

**Richard Moll: **Lyle Bolton/Lock-Up

**Jim Cummings: **Ubu

**Dick Miller: **Sal Valestra

**Drew Nelson: **Duncan Napier/Joker

**Stacey Keach: **Carl Beaumont

**David Kaufman: **Jason Drake

**Billy West: **Vito

**April Winchell: **Secretary, Woman


	225. Mask of Phantasm, Part V

**Villain(s): Phantasm, Andrea Beaumont, Joker, Joe Chill Featuring: Ra's Al Ghul, Lock-Up, Hugo Strange, Sal Valestra (sorta) **

**Archive: The Mask of Phantasm (1993)**

**Written By: Lots!**

**Directed By: Eric Radomski**

**. . .**

**Written By: Niko56**

**Directed By: Kevin Altieri&Tom Ruegger**

**Teleplay By: Paul Dini&Michael Reaves&Steve Perry**

**Art Direction: Glen Murakami&Shayne Poindexter**

**Casting and Voice Direction: Andrea Romano**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Episode 109: Mask of Phantasm (Part III)**

Twas the next day (Hope Bridgette's a good swimmer) at the lair of the morons, Ra's had given them a hefty proposition.

"Leave Gotham?" Lock-Up asked nervously

"Of course, how else to conquer the world, but to start a global conquest, besides, it will be easier this way to locate the stones."

"But, how?" Hugo asked

"I have my own jet we can use...It uses solar power! With it, we will be able to go forth, find the stones and that gentlemen as they say, is that."

"So...we have a jet?" Lock-Up asked

"Not just a jet, connections, which is why we will be taking a nice to journey to Great Britain to meet with my foremost contact a Mr. Gerald Moriarty, he's a renown philanthropist, and a less renown kingpin."

"I've heard of him." Hugo began "He's an art collector, inherited a family fortune, some speculate he's a descendent of the Stewart Royal Family."

"Whether that's true or not, he will be an invaluable asset to us gentlemen. Besides him, I have many others across the globe."

"I too know of some Help." Hugo said "Roy Chang, he's a Triad Boss in Shanghai, but he's also a city official."

"Hmm, he could give us good PR." Ra's agreed

"Master, are we missing someone?" Ubu asked

"Chill."

"Screw him!"

"Yeah, the moron can't even tie his own shoes, I say we leave him, any takers?" Lock-Up asked

"I agree."

"Leave him here."

"For all we know Joker whacked him and Valestra." Hugo fumed

"So it's agreed then, we leave for England tonight, and leave the dumbass here?" Ra's explained

"Agreed."

"Fantastic, get packing gentlemen, we leave tonight."

"Soon, the world will be ours!"

"It will take some time, but yes, the world will most certainly be ours."

That morning, in her new car, Andrea and Rebecca were loading the last of their things, they would be on their way to their new house not too far away.

"Well that's the last of it." Trent said closing the trunk.

"Thanks for helping me babe." she said happily giving him a hug.

"Hey it's no problem, so I'll see you tonight, it's not like I have anything to do."

"Of course, but not too late though, I too need my beauty sleep."

"I know, see ya later Andi."

"You too, Trent." Rebecca and Jason were nearby doing some canoodling

"Mmmwah! Call me." she headed for the car

"I will, don't you worry. I'll see ya Becca."

"See ya Jas." they started away.

"I don't like her."

"Hard to tell, you guys were tongue wrestling ever since you met each other."

"No, not Rebecca, Andrea, I'm starting to think Bridgette's right about this whole Phantasm thing."

"Get real Jason, Joker has so many enemies they can have their own convention! Someone just finally wanted something done about it." they headed inside.

"Yeah well, something's not right about her man...but for all intensive purposes, can I be the new Batman?"

"Knock yourself out."

"YES!"

"What's he yessing aboot?" Geoff asked

"Meet your new Batman-"

"THIS GUY!"

"Trent you can;t be serious-no offense Jas, but you have to be the Batman!"

"No, I don't...I know I made a vow, but like I told you guys, life is good, I'm happy, I can't have both, so; I'm picking the one thing in my life that'll make me smile, Andrea."

"But shes evil!"

"Shes not Phantasm dammit! The sooner we learn that, the better off we'll all be. Now, if you guys will excuse me, I have to go to work, being a big important businessman you know." he headed for his room to get a briefcase

"Ugh..." Geoff did a facepalm "We've lost him Alfred." the butler put a hand on Geoff's shoulder

"Don't be discouraged Master Geoffrey, believe me I know him, and why he's acting this way, afterall you're talking to the man who used to change his diapers."

"Uh-oh, I smell monologue." Jason smirked

"Perish the thought Master Jason, I'm old. But let me say this, I have not seen that boy with a smile on his face since he and Andrea were betrothed...what's more discouraging, before that, I haven't seen him smile since...well, February 13th 30 some odd years ago. He's not used to being happy, when someone finally came into his life, his brain didn't know how to react like a normal person, so; it just, as you kids say, went all out, maybe he'll grow out of this, and maybe he won't."

"He has a point." Cody said from the nearby staircase, Sara was with him.

"But we must stick to the task at hand, Phantasm-Andrea or not is running around in Gotham, it could only be a matter of time before someone gets seriously hurt...or worse." Alfred added

"Plus, there's Ra's, and whatever he's planning." Sara added

"Precisely, so, whatever it takes, this city needs a hero...or heroes, I should hope you all are willing to step up to the challenge of it all."

"YEAH!"

"Good!"

"Wait a minute, were one bat short of a belfry." Cody looked around "Where's Bridge?"

"Did she even go home last night?" Sara asked

"I'll check in the Bat-Cave." Alfred said "I need to find my ball peen hammer anyway, the Astin's on the fritz again."

"Well kids, we got some planning to do." Geoff smiled, cracking his knuckles.

Inside said cave of Bats. Bridgette struggled to stay afloat, which she was doing all evening. The cinder block kept waying her down, but she managed to tread water...though she was getting very-very-VERY tired.

"Gah-pant-pant-pant-gasp-h-help-h-h-h-help me!" she went under again, Alfred entered the hanger.

"La-la-la-la, ah, there you-[splash]"

"Help!"

"Miss Gordon!"

"Alfred! Thank G-Help me!" she went under again

"Balls and Beans! Hang on!" he threw his blazer off, and dove in after her.

Bridgette was sinking fast. Alfred was able to reach her as she was blacking out. The badass butler that he was, he chopped of the chain, and swam up with Bridgette

BREEEATH-pant-pant-pant!" Alfred took a much needed breath, and swam over to the dock, placing Bridgette face up. "Dear God miss Gordon, please don't die on me!" he administered CPR. "Please!" He pounded on her chest

"The Lord is my shepherd-the lord is my shepherd!"

At the Hall of the City, Evil Andrea was busy plotting a plan in her office, very loudly I might add

"Okay, I got rid of Vito Scungili and that scum didn't show...maybe if I whack Valestra? Yeah that might work, Sal's an old fart anyway, it's perfect, maybe I can get the Joker out of hiding, or atleast get him to spill on his location."

. . .

"Come on Bridgette! Pull through...a pulse-good...good...come on...Heavenly Father keep thy prayers for Bridgette Gordon! Come on!"

. . .

"Alright, that's what I'll do, tonight, Sal Valestra sleeps with the fishes." an angered Mayor Hill listened in on the one sided conversation, he stormed to his office, and made a call

. . .

"Almost there...come on...a few more breaths..."

. . .

"Pick up-come on, pick up!"

"_Gordon."_

"Get a squad over to Valestra's you'll have your Phantasm."

"_Are you sure Hill-"_

"Sure I'm sure, do it!"

"_Alright."_

Upstairs, everyone was gearing up for the evening, the elevator door to the Bat-Cave opened, and a breathless, short torn Alfred, carried an equally out of breath Bridgette bridal style

"Bridgette!"

"Pant...Pant...Pant...Pant-Beaumont-Pant...Must...Pay." she uttered

"Hang on, we may have to put that on hold." Geoff noticed something on his laptop

"What?"

"Large aircraft, ready to take off, wonder who that could be?"

"It has to be Ra's!"

"Well Beaumont's not going anywhere, but these guys are! Let's go!"

"Geoff too?"

"Hey, this thing was made for this stuff." he said patting his chair.

Cutscene to Sal Valestra's Penthouse in Westbrook, across the street Phantasm watched from binoculars.

"He's in there alright, time to find out where Joker is, one way or another."

He sneaked inside the place, it looked as though Valestra was in an easy chair reading the days paper. Phantasm entered, giving away some smoke

"Sal Valestra, your angel of death awaits!" he tore away the newspaper "Gasp-no."

Valestra had a creepy smile, his whole body, limp and pale, Joker had gotten to him first, his phone rang.

"Wonder who that could be?" he answered it.

"_Ha-ha-ha-ha! Hello, anybody home?" (split scene, Joker's car, and the room) "Did you honestly think I couldn't put the pieces together Andi? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh, listen boopsy, even though you never call and never write, I've still gotta soft spot for you-so I'm sending you a fun gift-AIR MAIL, and there's no use running away this time toots! The plane of the future is gonna make you history-AHA-HA-HA-HA!" (scene cut to Joker's car)_

"Oh, I've always wanted to say that! Alright Joey Chill, send in the plane!"

"With pleasure!" Joe controlled the small plane, in the underbelly was a bomb, it went on a collision course with the window.

"NO!" Phantasm dove away, then

-[KA-BOOM]"

Joker and Joe watched from across the street. Sirens grew louder.

"Whoops, time to go, it's been fun Joey Boy but I think we need to head on home."

"I'm with you." they drove literally right passed the police cars heading towards the penthouse.

"Wait, hang on, let me make one more call."

. . .

"Ung..." the phone was off the receiver by Phantasm, she listened to the mad man

"_Hello? Hello Operator? I believe my parties been, disconnected-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh I can't stand it!" _

Phantasm looked outside to see Gordon and a whole caravan of troops, and helicopters.

"There he is!" Chef yelled

"I see him too!" Courtney added

"Attention Phantasm, we have you surrounded! Come out with your hands up, and no one gets hurt!" Chris yelled

"Retire Gordon!" Phantasm yelled

"Oh good one!" the Commissioner rolled his eyes, unimpressed.

"Tee-hee." Gil chuckled "Oh come on, that wasn't bad."

"Shut-up Gil!"

"Ow."

"Storm the place!" he ordered

"You heard the Commissioner let's go!"

From across the street V-Bat watched Phantasm run back through the penthouse.

"Well, time to do what I do best!" he launched a Bat hook, and swung inside.

"Look!"

"V-Bat!"

"Dammit do these freaks gotta ruin everything!" Chef yelled

"Shut-up you doofus, you want the colalr, than move-move-move!" Courtney yelled

"Yes ma'am!"

"That's what I like to hear! Yell with me Chef! I must succeed-I must succeed-I must succeed! LET'S GO!" SWAT followed the two inside

"I really think Arkham was a good thing for her." Gil smirked

"I'm still pissed you didn't tell me."

"I know."

Phantasm dashed through the dimly lit hallway, until by the usual serendipity he ran right into Batman

"Gasp! V-Bat!"

"It's over Andrea! I'm in no mood to play around! Lose the mask, lose the gadgets!"

"Never!" V-Bat took out a Batarang

"I'M NOT PLAYING GAMES BEAUMONT! JUST DO IT!"

"When you can carry my cold, dead body to Arkham, I'll surrender, until then-" he sprinted in the other direction

"Oh don't run-erg-cripes! Get back here!" V-Bat chased after him.

He launched the Batarang at his neck, good form

"Gah!" he stumbled, allowing V-Bat to catch up "You're not taking me down! Not till I get Joker!"

"Nyah!" he sideswiped Batman, and the two engaged in a rather edgy fight scene.

Phantasm took a picture off the wall and smacked Batman with it, he rebelled by throwing it back onto him, and a few more combos. Phantasm used the claw and got a few cuts on the uniform, and a good one to the face

"Gah! Sh*t!"

V-Bat responded with a Batarang to the mask, not making a dent, Phantasm knocked it out of the way and kept on punching eventually, V-Bat knocked him into a table nearby, and the fight ended, bot wee quite winded

"Not bad." he panted

"Andrea...you're not well...we can help-"

"NO! Andrea Beaumont isn't here V-Bat! It's Phantasm! And my mission will be complete once Joker, and all the rest of this cities costumed scum are gone forever...maybe even you too." he got a thought "Plane of the future eh-[snap]-of course...well, if you need me, I'll be getting rid of Joker now." a cloud of smoke appeared, Phantasm walked into it

"ANDREA NO!" he ran through the smoke, and he was gone. Suddenly, both stairwell doors opened on either side of him

"FREEZE!"

"GCPD! Nobody move!"

"Oh, it's just V-Bat!" Chef groaned

"V-Bat, where is he?" Chris asked

"I...I know where." he got the same idea.

"Well, where is he?" Gil asked

"I can't tell you." Chef blocked him

"No you don't frea-"

"Step aside Bullock or your gonna wear that dougnut!"

"Not the doughnut." he moved aside

"V-Bat, we just wanna help!" Courtney added

"I don't need it...this is something I'm probably gonna have to do on my own. Chris, just keep your departments on stand-by, If I need you, I'll call."

"Typical." Gil rolled his eyes.

"Wait but, what if-" and like that, even with all the police around, v-Bat vanished

"EVERY. FREAKIN. TIME!"

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Alright guys...BIG...DRAMATIC...CONCLUSION...COMING-UP-NEXXXXXXXXXXXXT!**


	226. Mask of Phantasm, Part VI

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

At a private landing strip outside of the city, the large plan shaped like a Boomerang was loaded with the people who were ready to takeover the world...Pinky and the Brain were unfortunately not among them.

"Alright, let's take role call." Ra's said, he and the others were below the cargo entrance to the huge solar powered plane. "Ubu?"

"Here Master."

"Fantastic. Andre Boylan?"

"Right here Mr. Ghul."

"Excellent, Hugo Strange."

"This is stupid."

"Shut it...Ash Nault?"

"Yes sir."

"Awesome. Uh...Shadows?"

"YES SIR!"

Charles Mansfield."

"Right here your lordship."

"Yeah-yeah great."

"Care for a scone sir?"

"Later. Let's see here, Bolton...Bolton...Bolton..."

"Oh, uh sorry, I thought I saw something." Lock-Up pointed to the horizon.

"Well I should say you did." Ra's squinted

"Bats in our belfry!" Hugo groaned. "Shall we fight."

"No need..." Ra's shook his head "In a matter of moments they will no longer be a threat to us, quickly, to the plane gentlemen!"

"You heard the boss let's go!" they jumped into the monstrosity, Ubu and Ash took to the controls.

"Contact."

"Thrusters up!" Ra's entered the flight deck...cause I won't say cockpit...crap.

"Hurry up!"

"Were trying master!"

"Well try harder Ubu!"

"Yes sir!"

"I will not be shown up by a billionaire playboy and his kiddie crew! Not here! Not ever! Not while global conquest is in our grasp!" he clenched his fist, Mansfield entered.

"Would you like that scone now sir-"

"Fine I'll eat the damn scone!"

"Terribly sorry sir."

"Ubu-Nault, I want us in the air yesterday!"

"Yes sir!" they started down the runway.

The Bats were closing in! Inside the ever popular Batmobile, was Batgirl. Inside the brandy-new Bat-chopper was Ex...even though she crashed the original in the first place, she had the guns, Robin flew it. On the Bat-cycle, was Red Hood, and Nightwing just flew the chair. (I already destroyed the Bat-Wing once, thought I should give it a break)

"Oh no, however shall we defeat our determined adversaries. Oh wait, with our guns of course."

"Ha-ha-ha-ha." the pilots chuckled. Ra's called to outside the flight deck

"Strange! Weapons up!"

"Defenses on. Nighty-night Bats."

"Make sure Bolton and Boylan are on the turrets!"

"Were almost up Master!"

"Good...good."

. . .

"Alright, were taking this plane down, any questions?" Batgirl asked over radio

"Nope."

"Nuh-uh."

"No way babe."

"Notta chance Bridge!"

"Thought so...attack formation!"

"We got it first!" Robin yelled, they flew towards the plane, Ex took aim "I thought you said you wouldn't kill anymore?"

"It's Ra's sue me!"

"Ha-ha...I f*ckin love you!"

"I know." she had a bead on Boxer at a side turret "Goodnight-[bang]

"And miss."

"It's a moving plane, I ain't Vasili Zaytsev you know!"

. . .

"Jeez!" Boxer jolted aside, as a nice bullet hole went through the glass turret, nearly Swiss cheesing him. He had on a headset radio, just so you know "Uh boss, how good is this sniper chick again?"

"_Not quite at Nault's level, but; shes up there...shes definitely up there."_

"Great." he sneered, he got back on the gun, and shot.

"Oh crap!" the chopper was riddled with bullets "WERE GOING DOWN!" the two jumped out just in time, and hit the pavement hard.

"Ow-oof-aiee-ow-THUD!"

"Ooh, that'll leave a mark." Batgirl groaned "You up next babe?" she asked Nightwing

"Yupski! Watch and learn kiddies, this is how I do things!" he started up towards the fleeing plane, and launched a missile or two

. . .

"Missiles, incoming!" Ash yelled

"Activating shields." the missiles hit the shields to the plane, and disintegrated

"Aw man." a small missile grid emerged from the plane. "OH COME ON!" they fired. "YAHHH!" Nightwing leaped from his chair and fell through the sun roof into the Batmobile. As his chair exploded "Nice catch." he said

"Nice job." she said

"Shut-up."

"Alright bros, let's Hood's turn...or should I say, the new Batman!" Red Hood got forward (Man this is a long runway) he got the two missiles out front at the ready "This is for screwing with my life Strange!"

. . .

"Oh darn." Strange chuckled. A small machine gun was lowered from the underbelly of the plane, aimed at the cycle

"Aw crud!" he leaped from the bike before it was shish-ka-bobded. And then Red Hood hit the pavement hard.

"Well, it's up to us!" the Batmobile gained the front fins opened up, and two missiles, were at the ready. "Alright, now all we gotta so is" suddenly, the plane was armed with gun stations and more missile grids...all aimed at them.

"Oh no...AHHHHHHHHHH!" the two quickly ejected just before the Batmobile exploded into a million pieces. The plane started to take off, but not before Ra's called to the kids over a megaphone

"Eat our dust Bat losers! If you need us, we'll be in England!" the plane took off.

"Erg! So close!"

"Not really...no."

Back at Wayne Manor Trent was happily doing some business type stuff in the study.

"Let's see here, if we increase production this quarter-[slight shoosh]-might as well come out Ham."

"I see you haven't lost your touch." V-Bat emerged from the darkness "Yet."

"Whatever you have to say I'm not interest-holy lord!" Trent got a look at V-Bat, who was still wounded from his earlier fight "What the hell happened to you? Who did this?"

"I'll tell you who, your girlfriend!"

"Oh no, they roped you into this too-"

"Listen Trent!" He slammed his fists on the desk "I am in no mood for games! We have a psycho running around knocking over costumes and the like the find joker, who you are inadvertently dating-"

"Don't you monologue me dammit I don't have time for this! I gotta lot of big business stuff to do. I'm sure the kids can handle Phantasm-"

"Oh but it gets better, you know Ra's, yeah he's gone. Batgirl messaged me, said Ra's was planning some sort of global conquest with that deadly new crew of his, they're already gone."

"Oh...well that's what the CIA and Interpol are for-"

"OPEN YOUR EYES DAMMIT! In a few short days without you this city is going to hell in a hand basket! And who knows, the world could be next! Gotham is dead without you Trent, were just another piss-poor city!"

"Well who's fault is that Mr. Mayor?" BUUUUUUUUUUUURN!

"...I'm done here, not that I enjoy guilt tripping you, but if you need me, I'll be at the Futureland trying to stop your arch enemy, your love interest, and possibly the man who killed your parents from trying to kill each other." he turned around "And if these are my last words to you, know that I have absolutely no reservations by saying them: Go f*ck yourself."

"Aw Ham come on-now?" he disappeared "Ugh, maybe I'll send him a fruit basket, that'll cheer him up."

"A fruit basket?"

"Alfred when did you get here?"

"A lousy fruit basket?" he angrily approached Trent SLAP!

"Ow!"

"What's the matter with you? You gonna act like a man or a...a...businessman?"

"Whoa, take it easy there Brando, Ham was the one tripping, not me-"

"But he's right."

"Right how?"

"Ever since you've rekindled you're love, you've been acting like a...like a...like a...GRR words cannot describe the imbecile you've become!"

"Hey! I'm finally happy dammit, it took over 30 years but I'm finally hap-"

"But at what cost?" Alfred fumed "You're oblivious! You're shirking your duties, you've given up on the oath you made to your parents! And before you start about that-I know I wasn't there-I know I don't know what it's like to witness such a travesty, I feel for you Master Trent...years ago I promised your parents I would look after you should anything happen to them...ever since you became Batman, I always thought I have been doing a terrible job...but now I realize, you not being Batman is a fate worse than death."

"But that's-"

"Not yours..." he choked up a little "You know the worst part of all this? Bridgette was in the hanger today in case you were wondering, which I doubt...she was drowning-DROWNING-cause Phantasm tied her to a bloody cinder block! And thank God I was there to save her! You never knew...I don't know quite honestly if Andrea is Phantasm, but in all reality, all the evidence certainly points to her. I'm sorry to ruin your happiness, but you're happy for all the wrong reasons. But who am I to judge you...I'm just the butler." Alfred turned to leave. Trent sat back at his desk, starring at the portrait of his parents.

"Hmm, perhaps I know of someone who can help them-[crick]-ow, my back!" Alfred winced in pain "Make that two people." suddenly, the door to the study flung open, and there stood Batman.

"Alfred...roll up your pants, we have a few things to do." Alfred smiled

"That's my boy."

Back at Joker's Futuristic lair, his robotic wife Hazel was chopping with a rusty knife...it was nothing.

"Oh, meatloaf again-oh I had it for lunch." Joker complained for the sake of comedy. He put a chub of bologna where she would cut, and it cut a few slices. "Nice cutting Hazel dear." Joe sat on the couch.

"You ever have that feeling that...somehow, something just ain't right?"

"Welcome to my world Joey, here, have some bologna."

"Thanks." he chugged it down "Still, I just have the feeling that-[CRASH]-told ya."

"Joker, you're angel of death awaits!" Phantasm blared

"Very cute little girl, drop the act, I know who you are." Phantasm threw off the cloak.

"Gasp! Beaumont!"

"Ugh, you really should consider going back to school Joe." Joker sighed

"Yes, he is an idiot...too bad it won't matter once i get rid of you both!"

"Gasp! Andi, I'm hurt, can't you remember the good times we've had." Joker asked

"There were no good times you slime!"

"Oh...yeah, you're right, last I remember, I iced your old man-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"GRRRRR!" she lunged with the hook, Joker responded with a acid stream from the corsage, melting it off "Ah!"

"Perfect, of Hazel, darling, destroy her!" the rusted old robot went into attack mode "Come on Joe!" the two jumped through the window "Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Erg!" Andrea gave the robot a swift kick and then followed them down, towards a large fan, then the V-Batmobile arrived.

"Andrea! No!"

"Oh great, the old fart." Joker jeered from behind the extra he, fan motor

"What do we do now?"

"We kill two birds with one stone of course!" Joker took out a remote. And turned the fan on, which sucked stuff in.

"Get outta here! Let me-huh...w-w-w-whoa!"

"Ahh!" they hurdled towards the fan, the V-Batmobile somehow stayed on the ground. The two held onto a flag pole

"AHHHH!"

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Joker turned up the intensity. Batman was closing in, he gasped

"No!" he quickly noticed Joker with the controller, and tossed a Batarang, destroying it, and turning off the fan

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-huh?" he saw Batman. "Of course." he groaned.

"Oh forget this, this is way too crazy for me, I'm outta here!" Joe ran away. "None of yous are gonna take me alive, none of ya!" he ran away Andrea rubbed her head, and stood

"That's the idea!" she drew a gun

"Andrea-[bang]"

"NO!" the shot went right through the back of Joe's heart, he turned around slowly

"Well...you did it...someone had to I guess...It's been a hoot, by my time is up...Something tells me you'll get yours one day Beaumont...Ah!" he fell to his knees, then he raised his head "I AM SLAIN!" Joe fell over.

Batman had actually got to witness his parents killer, be killed, he couldn't believe it. Then he came back to reality to see a wounded Joker, and V-Bat tied up. Both struggling

"Huh?" Andrea approached him

"I get it now...how could I have been so stupid! Joker killed your father didn't he!"

"He did...i witnessed it too-"

"Now in my own defense it was an acci-"

"SHUT-UP! Erg...it killed me inside...I was so consumed with anger and revenge, I thought this was the only way out...it drove me insane."

"I can see that...Andi, you're not well-"

"No...I'm fine, but I owe you, since I offed your parent's killer." she tossed him the gun "You can kill mine." she pointed to the Joker. Who went wide eyed

"Now-now-now-now Bats-Bats let's be reasonable, think of all the good times!"

"There were no good times!"

"I know I'm really bad at this."

"Even so, I can't do it Andrea! And I hate to say it, but you're going to Arkham with him-"

"NO! That lying cheating bastard and his posse took from everything from me! Dad! My life! You...what's next! WHAT!" she sobbed.

"Sorry, I just can't."

"Whew."

"Well then...if you're not with me-[kick]"

"Grunt!" she kicked the gun back into her hands

"Then I guess you're against me!" she pointed it at him "Sorry Batman, but no vanishing act this ti-[crack]-ugh!" she was knocked out of the way

"Gasp!"

"GASP!"

"Gasp! Who is that?"

"HAAAAAA, sorry there pretty Mamma, but this, is not a toy!"

"Creeper?" V-Bat asked

"In the flesh! Literally!"

"Who the hell is this?" Andrea asked

"Long story." was everyone's response

"Much like yourself, he created me." Creeper explained "But, killing just ain't that answer, nope-nope, nope." Joker noticed a detonator controller he had, he crawled over to it.

"Well too bad, this is gonna be my day the day when I rid this town of Joker, and all costumed freaks like him for good!"

"Well I'm afraid you won't be toots." he slammed his nose on the controller "Cause this place is going up in flames in about a minute."

"No. ERG! This isn't over! I will have my day, I will, I'm a powerful person, you will all see the day, that belongs to Phantasm." she blew Batman a kiss, and disappeared into a cloud of smoke

"Andrea no!"

"Jeesh, what's up her fanny?" Creeper asked

"Not the time, we gotta go!" V-Bat managed to get free, and he called the V-Batmobile over."We gotta go!" the ground started to rumble

"But the Jo-"

"We can't, he did this to himself."

"You're right!" the three jumped in and zoomed away

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-[ka-boom]"

The old team painfully reached the front door to Wayne Manor, and a happy Alfred was there to greet them

"Ah, good, you're back."

"Why so happy Alfred?" Nightwing asked

"Yeah we just got our asses kicked." Ex added

"And they got away."

"Just head to the airport post haste, all will be explained in due time, Rachel and I will meet you there." the kids shrugged

They headed from where they just were to see a huge cargo plane waiting to take off, they were delighted to see who was behind it.

"It's him!"

"BATMAN!" they ran over

"You guys were right all along, she really is evil."

"Good, so, what's with the-oh." Batgirl was interrupted by a hug

"I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"Oh, that's okay."

"Anyway, the only way to stop Ra's Al Ghul, is to catch him, so; I'm going off to England to find him."

"Alone?"

"Of course not...I could use a little birdie...and perhaps his lady birdie friend."

"US!"

"Yes, you two-"

"All your belongings are loaded onto the plane." Alfred informed them, Rachel was at his side

"Good luck you guys." suddenly two more cars arrived

"Whoa, looks like a convention!" Creeper noticed. Lucius stepped out of the first car, along with Leslie. and winked, the second, Chef, Courtney, Chris, Gil, and Jim.

"Well my friend, is this goodbye?" Chris asked

"Just till we find Ra's, and stop him."

"Hell yeah freak, good luck!"

"You're in our hearts!"

"Always! Dammit Gil don't cry."

"Pansy." they wee unaware of two little nymphs sneak into the plane through the back. Heather and Gwen winked to the camera as they stowed away in a box.

"I'll miss ya Bats!" Creeper gave him a hug

"You too Creeper." Batman turned to the team

"You realize you guys have this city in your hands...think you can handle it?"

"Most definitely." Batgirl assured him.

"You can count on us."

"Well then, to England!"

"Tell Fredrick I said hello! Ta-ta!" Alfred yelled

"Bon voyage!"

"See ya!"

"Good riddance!"

"Good bye Batman." Batgirl sobbed a little, and they took off to England she turned to everyone else "Alright everybody, we got some work to do!"

**...THAT'S ALL FOLKS!**

**BUT WAIT! we still have the TDB MOVIIIIIIIIIIEEE! Hope you are as psyched as I am! Get ready, get set, grab some popcorn and soda, and let's GO!**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord: **Trent Wayne/Batman

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr: **Alfred Pennyworth

**Kristen Fairlie: **Bridgette Gordon/Batgirl

**Peter Oldring: **Cody Drake/Robin

**Kevin Conroy: **Mayor Hamilton Hill/V-Bat

**Mae Whitman: **Sara Pennyworth/The Exterminator

**Dan Petronijevic: **Geoff Grayson/Nightwing

**Christian Potenza: **Commissioner Chris Gordon

**Emilie Claire Barlow: **Detective Courtney Montoya

**Cle Bennett: **DetectiveHarvey 'Chef' Bullock

_**Guest Starring...**_

**Dana Delaney: **Andrea Beaumont

**Clancy Brown: **Phantasm

**Loren Lester: **Red Hood

**David Kaufman: **Jason Drake

**Charlie Adler: **Joe Chill

**David Warner: **Ra's Al Ghul

**Jim Cummings: **Ubu

**Corey Burton: **Hugo Strange, Additional Voices

**John DiMaggio: **Ash Nault

**Tom Kenny: **Charles Mansfield III, Additional Voices

**Dorian Harewood: **Andre Boylan/Boxer

**Richard Moll: **Lyle Bolton/Lock-Up

**Rob Paulsen: **Vice Commissioner Gil Mason

**Jeff Bennett: **Jack Ryder/The Creeper, Additional Voices

**Tara Strong: **Rachel Hollander/Bionica

**Bob Hastings: **Jim Gordon

**Mark Hamill: **The Shadows, Joker's Laugh


	227. Intro: Drown In You

**Villain: Bat-Venom**

**Featuring: EVERYONE!**

**Absent: Tuck, Joe Chill (Be reason of decease)**

**. . .**

**. . . **

**WARNER BROS. PROUDLY PRESENTS**

**IN ASSOCIATION WITH LIONSGATE**

**FRESH TV**

**TELETOON**

**AND CARTOON NETWORK**

**A NIKO56 PRODUCTION**

_**Starring...**_

**Scott McCord**

**Kristen Fairlie**

_There's a place where you_

_can light the fire and _

_watch it burn_

_Lay it down and lose it all_

**Kevin Conroy**

**Peter Oldring**

**Christian Potenza**

**Dan Petronijevic**

_It's taken me so far beyond the_

_point of no return_

_gave up all I had_

_when hope was gone (when hope was gone)_

**Mae Whitman**

**Cle Bennett**

**Emilie Claire Barlow**

**Rob Paulsen**

_Is this real or is this just a crazy_

_dream? That someday soon will_

_fade away_

**Mark Hamill**

**David Warner**

**Loren Lester**

**David Kaufman**

_Feels just like I'm underwater_

_and can barely breathe_

**Morgan Freeman**

_**as Lucius Fox**_

**_and_ Efrem Zimbalist Jr.**

_**as Alfred Pennyworth**_

_Dieing in the bed_

_that I have made_

_**Nick Durdan Presents:**_

_**TOTAL DRAMA BATMAN: THE MOVIE!**_

_I don't wanna_

_Drown In You!_

_I'm sinking then I'm_

_Sawed in two_

_**Also Starring**_

**Drew Nelson Dana Delaney**

**Clancy Brown Marco Grazzini**

**Carter Hayden Jeff Bennett**

**Jennifer Hale Adam Reid**

**Arleen Sorkin Stephanie Ann Mills**

**Katie Crown Corey Burton**

_So when you see me_

_Come up don't let_

_I'm trying to hope that God_

_Will just save me now_

_Don't let me drown in you_

**Rachel Wilson Megan Fahlenbock**

**Lauren Lipson Tara Strong**

**Julia Chantrey Brian Froud **

**Jim Cummings Richard Moll**

**John Glover Dee Bradley Baker**

**Frank Welker John DiMaggio**

**Dorian Harewood Billy West**

**Paul Sorvino S. Scott Bullock **

**Robert Costanzo Bob Hastings **

**Tress MacNeille Cree Summer **

**Suzanne Stone Maurice LaMarche **

_(Don't let me drown in you)_

_**Story By**_

**Nick Durdan**

_**Screenplay Direction**_

**Nick Durdan**

**Paul Dini**

**J. Michael Reaves**

**Steven Perry**

**Joseph Landsdale**

**Alan Burnett**

**Martin Pasko**

_**Executive Story Editor**_

**Paul Dini**

_**Story Editors**_

**Johnathon Nolan**

**Christopher Nolan **

_This city pulls me even closer then _

_I've ever been_

_There ain't not way I can escape_

_Outta dodge you know that_

_I would tread the deepest end_

_**Executive Producers**_

**Nick Durdan**

**Bruce Timm**

**Paul Dini**

**Alan Burnett**

**Eric Radomski**

_Thousand years forever_

_In a day _

_**Co-Executive Producers**_

**Tom Ruegger**

**Jean MacCurdy**

**Kevin Altieri**

**Christopher Nolan**

_**Supervisory Producers**_

**Glen Murakami**

**Dan Riba**

**Sparkling-Nexis137**

_I don't wanna drown in you_

_I'm sinking then I'm _

_sawed in two so when_

_you see come up don't let_

_**Co-Producers**_

**Curt Geda**

**Paul Rugg**

**John P. McCann**

**Randy Rogel**

_I'm trying to hope that God_

_Will just save me now_

_(Just save me now)_

_Don't let me drown in you!_

_**Associate Producer**_

**Haven Alexander **

_**Produced By**_

**Rich Arons **

**Frank Paur**

**Rusty Mills **

_**Casting Direction**_

**Gordon Hunt**

_**Voice Direction**_

**Andrea Romano**

_Did I bring this on myself_

_Did I get out alive_

_**Series Directed By**_

**Bruce Timm**

**Nick Durdan**

**Curt Geda**

**Eric Radomski**

**Alan Burnett**

**Dan Riba**

**Kevin Altieri **

**Curt Geda**

**Frank Paur**

_Yeah I've given you the_

_best of me now you want the_

_rest of me what,s it gonna_

_take to survive?_

_[instrumental]_

_**Music Composer**_

**Shirley Walker**

**Walter Murphy**

**Randy Rogel **

_**Composers**_

**Julie Bernstein**

**Steve Bernstein **

_**Musical Guests**_

**Daughtry**

**Panic! At the Disco**

_**Art Direction**_

**Glen Murakami**

_**Storyboard Directors**_

**Glen Muramaki**

**Bruce Timm**

**Paul Dini**

**Ronaldo Del Carmen**

**Kevin Altieri **

**Tom Ruegger**

**Butch Hartman **

**James Tucker **

_**Background **_

**Eric Radomski**

**Ted Blackman**

_**Vehicle and prop design**_

**Shayne Poindexter**

_There's a place_

_where you can light the_

_fire and watch it burn_

_I don't wanna drown in you_

_I'm sinking then I'm sawed_

_In two (sawed in two) _

_**Creative Consultants**_

**Butch Hartman**

**Seth MacFarlane**

**Sherri Stoner **

_So when you see me come_

_Up don't let_

_I'm trying to hope that God_

_Will just save me now (save me now)_

_Don't let me drown in you!_

_**Supervisory Directors**_

**Peter Shin**

**Jack Heiter**

_(Don't let me drown in you)_

_(Drown in you)_

_(Just save me now)_

_**Assistant Director**_

**Christopher Nolan**

_Don't let me drown in you_

_**Directed By**_

**Nick Durdan**

**Bruce Timm **

_Drown in you!_

_[outro]_

**Drown in you By Daughtry **

**ENJOY THE MOVIE!  
**


	228. The MOVIE, Part I

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Chapter 1: Thy Drugs Are Quick **

Inside the Fine Art Museum in Midtown. We see a glass case containing some art, the glass is smashed, and the art taken. Several people rallied around their leader.

"Let's get a move on!"

"Why the rush boss?" a fat thief asked

"Yeah, we got the whole place to ourselves, what's to worry?"

"I'll tell ya what's to worry, the freakin' Bat that's who!"

"Ah screw him."

"Relax boss!"

"Yeah the old Bat skipped town to follow that other guy-or whatever."

"Hmm, be that as it may, we should not keep our guard down, now hurry up! I wanna leave sometime before next Christmas!"

"You heard the boss!"

The boss man turned to the Terrible Trio, who were assisting in the pillaging

"And you three! I hired you stooges as muscle, so start flexing, you're on Bat detail."

"Yes sir." they said

"Ugh, should've hired the Riddler." he groaned.

In the next room, the thieves got to work.

"You almost got that vase Joey."

"Yeah-yeah I got it." he got a tap on his shoulder "Huh?" he turned around, to see a smiling Batgirl

"Hi ya, wanna hear a joke?"

"Uh..."

"What did the 5 fingers say to the face?"

"Uh..."

"SLAP!"

"Gah!" he slammed against the wall

"Sh*t!"

"It's Batgirl!"

"Hey stooges! Muscle!" the boss ordered

"Oh-crap!"

"Right-right!"

"Aw fellas, thanks for the ovation, but I'm on a tight schedule, so...can we move it along please."

"What a mouth on that one, wouldn't you say Blast?" Snatch asked

"Hey Mr. Fibb why don't you stop referencing movies and-[crash]-OOF!" the glass window broke, V-Bat had sent Blast flying into two thieves, who crashed into the nearest wall "Why is it always m-[SMASH] "Ugnh...That hurt my face." he passed out.

"A wee bit late are we?" Batgirl asked

"Traffic above Dorchester was brutal." THWACK! A thug ran up behind and V-Bat socked him without even looking.

"You don't say, hang on a sec-HI-YAH-[punch]"

"Oog-unh." Batgirl socked a guy heading for her "Sorry about that, where were we?"

"You were saying-[KER-THUDGE]-something about traffic?"

"Oh yeah, I hear ya, Midtown sure gets backed up-HEEYUH-[THUD]-this time of night. Ooh, speaking of which, I gotta get going." she looked at her watch before throwing the boss

"GAH-[thud]"

"Where to?" V-Bat asked getting into it with Snatch?"

"Come on you tired old fart let's see you put em up and fight like a-[pound]-ooh, pretty stars above my head look mushy and soft-ung-[thud]-not like the ground."

"You just can't find good villains these days." V-Bat shrugged

"You outta know."

"Sorry, how rude of me, you mentioned something about plans?"

"I have date."

"Tonight...at this hour?"

"Uh-huh."

"Hmm, that must be nice-"

"Yeah I bet it is, too bad you both have a date with death!" Yelled Shifty entering with a gun

"Hmm, what do you make of this?" Batgirl asked V-Bat

"Let's see, SIG 552 Commando Assault Rifle, fully automatic, 30 round magazine, fires the 5.6mm round very standard, and can pump lead at about 700 rounds per minute."

"Options?"

"2 on 1, plenty of cover."

"The old Two-bit hit?"

"Sure, the want I should take the distraction?" V-Bat asked

"Be my guest-"

"Hey! Starsky and Hutch! Can we kill the mushy sh*t and cut right to the part where I blast yous?"

"Be our guest!"

"Perfect!" he aimed at V-Bat, and fired. V-Bat took off crawling through the rows of exhibits, Batgirl did the same on the opposite end of the room

"Come on-[rapid fire]-Come on!" he continued down broadway while the two were down the sides. "You can't hide forever-[rapid fire]-Stop hiding!" he turned to Batgirl. She stopped behind an exhibit to catch her breath

"So...30 round mag huh?"

"Give or take." V-Bat panted doing the same.

"I ain't running out Bats! I'm through messing around with you all! I'm gonna-[chink]" In the midst of his ranting Batgirl threw a Batarang right into the chambering mechanism of the gun "Oh Fuc-[BAM]" the gun exploded, and this tossed an injured Shifty into the nearest wall, knocking him out, the two detectives stood over him

"Like I said, good villains are so hard to find." the main doors flew open, the police, led by Gil Mason entered

"FREEZE!"

"Get down on the gro-"

"Dammit." Gil holstered his weapon "With you guys around, who needs us, we'll be obsolete and antiquated before you can say Sh*t!" The Vice Commissioner sighed

"Likewise, what do we got?" Chef asked

"Typical late night break in." Batgirl sighed

"Yeah, small time crime syndicate, operates out of East Gotham, I assume for added security measures they hired the terrible trio here." he explained pointing to Shifty

"Yeah, Three dumbasses is more like it." Chef added. thank you Kurtwood Smith.

"So, what's the old man doing?" Batgirl asked

"What do you think? Being lazy as sh*t!"

"No not Chef, he's right there, doing his job." V-Bat pointed to Chef taking CS pictures

"Hey!"

"Yeah, I say again, being lazy as sh*t! With me around, all he does is sit in his office nowadays."

"Ha-ha, that sounds like Chris, alright Batgirl, I can handle things from here why don't you-" V-Bat turned to the open window she disappeared out of. "Ha-ha, that smug little minx."

Batgirl fell to the street below, activating her rocket shoes to thrust above her awaiting Bat-cycle. She fell right into the seat, a robotic arm placed her helmet on her head...now, engage cool start-up effects, and thrusters. Anyway she looked at her watch.

"Aw nut bunnies I'm gonna be late!" she got on the road. "Come on, let's go, move it or lose it!" she weaved her way in and out of traffic like Nicholas Cage would do if he were in a movie which would involve something like that...that made no sense. Anyway this would be cool to watch, she jumped over cars, weaved through them, dodged a bus-gee lotta traffic for night time. Anyway, in the allyway behind the Rose Cafe, she leaped off of her bike

"Transform, camouflage." the bike then transformed into an indiscreet garbage can. "That's more like it." she pressed a button on her communicator watch and her batsuit transformed into a lovely sparkly light blue dinner dress.

"How bad ass was that?" she asked talking directly into the camera. She then dashed into the restaurant "Oh crap I'm late!" she dashed to the table her date was sitting at...yes it's Geoff.

"What took ya?" he asked

"Don't...pant...start...pant...with me!" their waiter walked up to her "Can I get you a drink miss-"

"Water! Lots of Water! Now-please-now!"

"Right away miss!"

"Whew."

"So...what took ya?"

"Ugh, some wannabe crime family trying to lift some art in Midtown, Ham and I took care of it."

"Well I should hope so."

"It's stupid, you know these crime syndicates are hiring our rogues muscle now?"

"No big mouth I didn't."

"Oops." her face went red, no one seemed to notice, she slumped back in her chair, Geoff chuckled "Anyway." she continued quieter "They hired Huey-Dewey-and Louie."

"The Trio?"

"No Geoff, the Biker Mice."

"Well Snatch and Throttle do sound-"

"Don't-EVEN start with that."

"Alright, alright." the waiter returned with her water

"Oh thank God, what took you?" she gulped it down

"Uh...I'll be back later to take your order." he said awkwardly

"Yeah thanks." he turned to Bridgette

"Ahhhhh, that's some quality H2O."

"I can see you enjoyed it." he smiled

"Sorry Geoff, I'm just getting really ency about this whole, protector of the city thing...I gave Trent a lot of crap, but when he was her,e man were we efficient, I love Ham, but he's so old school, you know he knows the exact specifications of a 552 Commando just by looking at it?"

"Uh...yeah, just yesterday I got a stern lecture on the history of Sub-machine guns, thank God, their history isn't long. Look, I know Trent's gone, but you guys will get used to it."

"I know...feels like he's been gone for so long, has it even been 3 days?"

"3 days today."

"Jeez."

"Haven't heard from him since, you think something's wrong?"

"Doubt, hey-hey can we stop talking about work, this is our date, let's enjoy it." Geoff insisted

"Yeah, you're right." they looked at each other

"I'm glad you're one of the good guys...I could never picture you evil."

"Really?"

"Yeah, besides, you're too good to be evil."

"Aw, thanks Geoffy." they shared a kiss

Okay, that's enough of that, the V-Batmobile entered the Bat-Cave and parked right next to the NEW Batmobile. Alfred was tidying up, while Jason sat at the Bat-Computer.

"Ah, Master Hamilton, how was patrol?"

"Broke up a heist with Batgirl, other than that, very quiet." he uncowled

"I do believe Miss Bridgette and Master Geoffrey were going on a date, yes?"

"Yeah should be there now-and uh...what's with the first name basis's all of the sudden Alfred?"

"I call all occupants of this house by their first name."

"Still can't believe the old man let you and Jordan and Bridge live here with us." Jason turned around in the chair "Or Bridgette for that matter."

"Well He wanted someone to keep an eye on the place, and it is bigger than mine, plus, I need to keep an eye on Bridgette keeping an eye on the place-and Jason, what in God's name are you wearing?" Ham asked

"Oh, you like?"

Jason's new costume was similar to Cody's Robin suit, except there were two R emblems, more weapons, more combat ready, and of course, an actual Red hood, and black Zoro mask

"I figure since Cody's gone, the position of Robin was open, ergo, I'm the new Robin."

"He calls himself Red Robin." Alfred said

"Yum." Ham sighed...get it? "You sure you're not copyrighting anything?"

"Hey, never said I owned the name, which I don't, but check it, if I put the hood on...-"

"-...It changes my voice like the Red Hood mask...see, on-"

"Off-"

"-On-"

"-Off-"

"On-"

"I get it!" Ham fumed "Ugh, I need a shower."

"Oh and before I forget sir, we have a million guest rooms, I would hope you stop sleeping in Master Trent's bed, I doubt he would appreciate it."

"Why he doesn't need it."

"Oh Ham by the way, speak of the devil, he's holding on line 1." RR turned the Bat-Computer's phone back on, Ham approached the computer "He's here."

"Trent, how goes the Ra's hunt?"

. . .

_(Cutscene to the plane, Part of Batman's face is obscure)_

"Quit sleeping in my bed dammit."

. . .

"Ha-ha, sorry; why'd you call?"

. . .

"Ra's made a U-turn, looks like he's on his way back to Gotham, so are we."

. . .

"Why did he forget something?"

. . .

"Maybe, but whatever the reason we'll be back in town tomorrow afternoon."

. . .

"Gotcha, can't wait to see ya."

. . .

"I'm sure, so are thing's in America's sh*thole?" Batman asked

. . .

"Ah you know, rotten."

. . .

"Ha-ha, just like I left it. Alright, I'll let you guys get some shut-eye, see you tomorrow, and no sleeping in my bed." end transmission

"That's it." Jason said taking the hood off.

"Hmm, I seem to recall Ra's having a hideout before skipping town, perhaps we should check it out."

"Great minds apparently think alike sir, I just got a Bat-Fax from Commissioner Gordon, it reads: Meet me at Ra's Hideout in South Gotham, I think he's coming back...that's it."

"Speak of the F*cking devil." he cowled up, and turned to Jason "Coming?"

"You know it." he threw the hood up

"We'll take the Batmobile-"

"No way man, I got my own bike."

"Alright, I'll meet you there, GPS the location-"

"Yeah-Yeah." RR complained putting his helmet on.

Out behind the restaurant, Bridgette was sitting on Geoff's lap, who was sitting on the Bat-Cycle (also new, forgot to say that) and the two were...making out."

"_Hey...Hey...Batgirl...HEY!"_

"Crap." she sighed "Yeah?"

"_You're date's ending early, meet me at this address in South Gotham, it's Ra's hideout, I got a call from Batman, they're on their way back, and so is the Baddie crew, not sure why either."_

"I'm on my way." she talked into her watch with a sigh

"_Good, did I interrupt anything important?"_

"Well-" Geoff said

"_Good, now get over here."_

"Ugh, I'm coming-I'm coming." end transmission "Prick."

"Hey come on, we'll do this some other time, alright baby." Geoff hopped into his wheel chair

"You got it fixed?"

"Lucius fixed it, now lambchop if you will excuse me, I got some rubber to burn, see ya!" he blasted away.

"Ah." she sighed lovingly. She transformed to Batgirl and drove to the address.

Which was a seedy partially burned urban house in the poorest neighborhood in South Gotham, everyone arrived at about the same time, except for Chris and Courtney who were waiting for them.

"Traffic?" the Commissioner asked

"At midnight?" V-Bat asked "Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"Like you said, who sleeps anymore."

"You did say that-" RR added

"Zip it."

"Is...is that the Red Hood?" Courtney asked

"You like the new look dollface?"

"No, neither do I like being called Dollface."

"Okay-okay, sorry."

"So, I guess if Ra's is coming back, then they probably need something?" Batgirl asked

"Probably, and it's most likely in here." Chris said tapping his flashlight against the charred siding.

"Couldn't imagine why." V-Bat took out a flashlight too "Looks like the torched the place."

"Obviously to kill any evidence." RR pondered

"Or perhaps that's what they want us to think." Batgirl suggested

"That's why were here, let's go, sooner we get done, the sooner we can sleep."

They entered the burnt house, and gave it a thorough look-over for the fact that they were near sleep.

"Jeez, looks like they took whatever wasn't nailed down." RR said from the living room

"Yeah, and a piss-poor job of they did of it too, they left most of the furniture, but it seems to mostly be charred anyway."

"What about this couch." RR pondered

"Don't even think about it!" V-Bat scolded

"Alright-alright, jeez."

"Were looking for evidence, not shopping for a new futon."

"Uh, it's a couch, thank you." RR corrected

"Whatever, the last thing you need is junk."

"Hey, will you quit fighting, keep looking, look in obscure places."

Anyway Batgirl found herself on the second floor, where no one else was, twas quite eerie. There was one room that caught her eye. A boarded up door at the end of the hallway. In her head she started to hear maniacle laughter

"Huh? Hmm." she approached the door, almost out of a trance, there was a note in red paint "Chem lab keep out." she started to tear away at the boards. And then kicked down the paper-thin door.

Twas in fact, what was a chemistry lab. Though most of the beaker's, and flasks and stuff were nothing more. On a table she noticed half burned notes I Strange's handwriting.

"Yup, this has Hugo, written all over it." she tossed them aside, and looked around the room some more, the laughter in her head getting louder "Erg, where is that laughing coming from."

Then she spotted it, one single, unbroken or burnt test tube on a table. There was a liquid in it, matching the color of the stuff Harley Quinn drank earlier, and Jason too. Still like in a trance she picked it up, and noticed the pleasant odor

"Yum...citrus." she smelt it "Smells like lemonade...s-should I?" she heard the laughter in her head, then a sinister voice

"_Yes...do it...do it now."_

Batgirl drank the formula, then her eyes went wide, she dropped it and started to feel funny

"Ah-w-whats-Grr-AH!" What's..h-happening...to..." she changed "Me. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." she chuckled, her eyes suddenly red. "Oh yeah, it's about time I got that attitude adjustment. God I feel so deliciously evil, so many things to do, so many lives to ruin...question is, who fir-"

"Batgirl?" she heard Chris's voice

"Uh...in here."

"You okay, what did you find?"

"Oh...nothing."

"Well we came up with nada too. Come on, you need your rest honey."

"Sure Dad." she grew an evil smile

"Hey-hey, not so loud, I still think Montoya is clueless, come on, let's get out of this dump."

"Yeah...yeah sure, let's go." they started outside

"You sure you're okay?"

"Oh yeah...never better." she smirked wickedly, the laughter kept on playing in her mind.

**End of Chapter 1 R&R please! **


	229. The MOVIE, Part II

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Chapter 2: Smooth Criminal **

Twas late in the night when Ra's and company returned. They exited the plane in the Ra's mobile. In the caravan was the Demon himself, with Ubu at the wheel, and Strange.

"Are you sure, this U-turn was necessary Hugo?" Ra's asked

"Positive, and we have to hurry."

"No kidding, with your luck were bound to run into one of the Detective's cronies, or the police, and we HAVE to take off before they get here."

"We will." Hugo assured them.

"I should hope so." Ra's looked at his watch "I would hate to keep Mr. Moriarty waiting."

"Nice watch." Hugo noticed

"Thank you."

"Let me guess, it was given to you personally by King Henry II?"

"No you bumbling idiot, it's just a watch I picked up at a jewelers in Nottingham...and for your information I actually was not alive during Henry II's dynasty."

"Sorry I asked."

"Strange, are you certain whatever we've come back for wasn't torched when we scuttled the safe house?" Ubu asked focusing the rear-view on Strange.

"Sure I'm sure, that room was hermetically sealed, and since we neglected to burn inside of it, I was forced to hastily board up the room." Hugo explained

"Then why didn't you just take it with us along with everything else?" Ra's asked

"I-I didn't know I had forgotten it until we were in the air, and our bon voyage wasn't exactly pleasant if you two recall."

"Quite."

"Were a block away master." Ubu informed them

"Good, Hugo, just grab whatever the hell it is, so we can get the hell out of here and start reaping the rewards global conquest is certain to bring."

"Okay."

Cutscene to outside the house as the sun rises. Ra's and Ubu wait patiently for Hugo's arrival. Ubu was still sitting in the drivers seat, whereas Ra's was resting against the side of the vehicle, the Demon lit a cigar.

"No! NO-NO-NO!" they heard Strange yell from inside the house "FUCK! SHIT-[crash]-HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!"

"I don't think he found it." Ubu assumed

"Oh really bright eyes, what alerted you, was it no boom-boom or lack of a mushroom cloud?"

"Uh, wrong movie master."

"Right, sorry. Cigar Ubu?" he offered

"Yes, thank you Master." Ra's lit the cigar, and the two took some puffs, and listened to Hugo's rather loud tantrum

"DAMMIT-[crash]-CRAP! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!"

"What do you suppose it was he forgot?" Ra's asked Ubu shrugged

"FUUUUUUUUCK! -[Crash]

"I imagine it was extremely important."

"Clearly-[CRASH]"

A few minutes later a broken Hugo exited the near torched apartment.

"Are we good?" Ra's asked

"No! And far from it!" Hugo approached the car, and simply got in "Let's go." Ra's shrugged, he got in too. They started back to the airport

"As the kids say, we are officially up sh*ts creek without a f*cking paddle!"

"Hugo what the hell is so important that you lost?" Ra's asked

"...You remember Quinn, when she went nuts, and by the way asshole thanks for telling Bat-Bitch where my cottage was!"

"What can I say, I owed him a favor." he took another puff or two "Hugo I may be a lot of things, but if there's one thing I'm proud to be, it's a man of my word. And yes I do recall the events."

"She went nuts because of a toxin I created...for Der Furher, over 60 years ago. He told me right to my face, he wanted a new breed of super soldier, and he wanted them with a brain capacity of pure, indescribable evil. 528 failures until I made the first perfect batch. I made 4 viles, each one stronger than the other. Ivy stole the weakest, and Batman took two of them when they raided my house-again, all thanks to you Ra's."

"Oh shut-up."

"The final, and the original batch, I kept for myself, you never know, anyway before I could show Der Furher, I found myself fleeing stateward. Until recently they've been untouched-hell I never even got to properly test each, I used lab mice, one drop, and boy...it was a sight to see."

"And the weakest vile was used on Quinn...oh God, I read the papers, she tore the city apart..." Ra's pondered "Gentlemen, you don't think-"

"May God have mercy on the sucker who drinks that toxin master." Ubu said

"Now let's not get ency, we torched the place, it's possible-"

"However unlikely." Hugo added

"Yes, however unlikely, it was lost in the fire."

"I would have at least found the charred test tube or something, no it was taken, I looked over the house too, looks as though the police have been there."

"Good, so they keep the vile, and properly destroy it, case closed gentlemen." Ra's said happily

"Somehow...I just...I just don't know."

"Aw-cripes!" Ra's complained looking at his phone

"What's wrong Master?"

"Text from Nault, engine trouble, we also have a burst fuel line, were grounded."

"Boxer can fix it can't he?" Hugo asked

"Sure, but it will take some time though, so I hope the detective isn't too nosy. Which is why I believe we are well hidden...as for your situation Hugo, I perceive it as water under the bridge, rest easy."

Over at Wayne Manor, another car pulls up and a familiar face steps out of the drivers seat. With him, the love birds, Heather and Gwen.

"Ah, feels just like as we left it." Trent said

"It looks beautiful bel-"

"Don't push it you stowaways or you're both going back to Arkham, comprende?"

"Yes sir."

"Good." they approached the front door, where Alfred was quick to answer.

"Master Trent."

"Alfred."

"Good to see you back already, come in-come in."

"It's been three days Alfred, and were not staying long, or maybe, if we can catch Ra's." Alfred noticed Heather and Gwen

"Stowaways I presume."

"You could say that." Cody added

"I found them hiding out in a box yesterday when I was looking for something in the cargo bay." Sara explained

"Not sure how." Gwen said

"Yeah all we were doing was breathing, quiet as church mice." Heather added

"The sound of your breathing was all I needed to hear."

"That's such an assassin thing to say." Gwen sighed

Upstairs the evil Bridgette had awaken. She looked at herself in a mirror. Very evil, so-do evil-I guess, evil would be the central theme to this description. She looked out her window to see Trent's car parked out front

"So, he's here is he?" she smirked looking back at the mirror "Hmm, I can deal with him and the others later-" a buzz came over her police radio-scanner...thingy. "Well-well, silent alarm tripped at City hall. Well, seems more important anyway-but I'll need a new gimmick...new gimmick-[snap]-Bat-Venom of course, luckily I made some new choice weapons for it." she found the old costume, and did some dressup.

Now we cutscene back downstairs.

"So, how was air traffic? He asked as if he cared?" Alfred asked

"Wasn't terrible." Trent shrugged

"We made the U-turn near the Azores, so we were close to Europe." Sara commented Suddenly Bridgette walked downstairs with a duffel bag slung over her shoulders, and a smirk who could creep out Satan.

"There she is!" Cody yelled happily.

"Morning." she said, while heading to the door.

"Where you going?" Trent asked

"He asked as if he cared." Alfred added

"Uh...out."

"Where-"

"Just out!" she snapped. Then exited

"Oi, must be that time of the month." Trent scratched his head.

"So anyway, about Ra's?"

"If we can find him here and stop him in Gotham, there will be no need to continue...but right now, I need a nap."

Like most movies, now we give you a small 20 second camera pan of the city in daytime...doesn't that look nice? Alright, now were across the street from city hall, the roof of the Morgan Stanley building. Rupert Thorne stood with Frankie and a few of his foot shoulders, eyeing up City Hall.

"You sure this is a good idea boss?"

"Frankie please, this is business son."

"But I don't get it, that Phantasm chick didn't do anything to us." Frankie rubbed his temples "Why kill her?"

"Sigh, you just don't get it, do you?" Thorne asked turning around

"What do you mean?" Frankie asked a little defensive

"Shes anti-costume."

"Annnnnnd?"

"Sigh, and; I like to hire the costume types to help aid us in our more...how should I put it, out-of-left-field pursuits?"

"Right, crazy sh*t, I getcha."

"With them out of the way, who do I hire?"

"Ohhhhhhhhh."

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiight you freaking gavone! Now give me the binoculars."

"Yes sir Mr. Thorne."

Thorne looked through the binoculars to see the crew he sent at City hall, busting through the roof

"Ah, excellent." he turned to Frankie "Speaking of the topic, uh; you suppose it was wise to hire Boyle, Wesker, and Crane to do the job?"

"Uh...if you want my honest opinion, no."

"Aw cripes-"

"But boss, did you send some of our guys?" Frankie asked

"Yeah but only three."

"Well that's better than 3 knuckle heads."

"Uh, three and a half, counting the puppet of course." Another soldato said from nearby.

"Say boss, how did you figure out Phantasm was Beaumont?" Frankie asked

"Why they very same person she sought to eliminate...Joker."

"Humph, you ask me I trust him about as far as I can throw him."

"Well here's the beautiful thing Frankie I wasn't asking you, so let's just watch and let the debacle unfold, shall we?"

Inside the office all you pencil pushers wish you had Andrea was doing some councilman...type, stuff.

"Well if you ask me Mr. Spalding I would just-[buzz-buzz-buzz]-uh, I'm gonna have to call you back." she hung up and looked at the silent alarm she personally had installed "Hmm, whatever this is, I'm sure my end will certainly justify their means-hmm-hmm-hmm." she pulled out a shiny new Phantasm claw and chuckled evilly.

But not as evilly as Bat-Venom who was already inside the location, in the attic where the stooge crew was breaking in.

"That everyone?" Greed asked

"Yeah."

"Alright, her office is not far, but remember, quiet as church mice." He reminded them

"Who do you think we are dummy?" Sadieface asked

"Hey, clam it.' Greed ordered

"Believe me, he's serious-"

"I know that."

"Okay-okay."

"Take my advice Katie, make a nice pair of clog dancing shoes out of that. Now come on! We don't have all day!" they headed for the door.

"He-he didn't mean that, did he?" Sadieface asked The Ventriloquist

"Of course n-"

"I did dammit now let's go already!" he snapped Scarecrow was the last to leave, but he froze, something didn't feel right.

"Scarecrow you coming?" a soldato asked

"Nah eh, something don't feel right, I don't like it, I'll stay back here, and meet up with you."

"Okay professor, it's your funeral." he shrugged closing the door behind him.

"Alright eh, where are you." he turned around "Show yourself! You're messing with the master of fear eh, nothing scares me!"

"Hmm-hmm-hmm." he heard her chuckle

"Grrr! Who's there!"

"Ha-ha." she appeared from a cloud of smoke near a vent "Gee, for the master of fear Crane-[slick]-you sure look scared to me." she smirked slicking out a Recon-1 blade. Navy Seals finest.

"Who...who are you?"

"Who am I? I'm your worst nightmare." she stepped a little closer.

"No, eh-I'M you're worst-NIGHTMARE!" he sprayed her with the fear gas "Soon you shall see what fears you the mo...huh?" he noticed nothing changed, she yawned

"Are you through?"

"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-"

"Oh yeah, somehow, those little gases, ha-ha-ha-ha, it doesn't effect me."

"Gulp."

"But I happen to know cold steel...effects anyone."

Over into the hall near the executive offices the team was ready to strike, they had just turned a corner, when...they ran right into a security guard.

"What the-HALT!"

"Oh man!"

"Sh*t."

"Ah well, ha-ha so much for the quiet approach-Weapons free boys-girl...and puppet!"

"Finally some action!" they shot up the office floor.

"Find Beaumont!" Greed ordered

"Oh my God!"

"Out of our way!"

"They got guns!"

"Someone call the police!"

Mayor Hill was nearby and overheard the commotion, from the corner of his eye, he saw the crew run passed an intersection. He scowled

"Oh no, this time they've gone too far!" he pressed a button at a keypad on his desk, and went to change.

This alerted a grid inside Gil Mason's office. (Cause Chris would never want it in his.) This alerted the vice commissioner that officially there was a break-in.

"City Hall...sh*t!" he dashed next door to Chris's office, interrupting his dinosaur playing time

"Commissioner!"

"Gah! I wasn't playing with toy dinosaurs!" he quickly tossed the stegosaurus and triceratops aside and stood up

"Hey listen, remember that silent alarm at city hall we assumed to be a malfunction?"

"Vaguely, yeah." he said getting more suspicious

"Yeah well Mayor Hill just alerted that there was a break-in!"

"Crap! Send in Moncourtois's crew!"

"Yes sir!" they left his office "I want a chopper over there, which pilots actually showed up for work today?"

"Uh, Brett Cavorkian, Julie Torres, and...Cam Hayden."

"Ooh get Hayden he's goo-"

"Hey Commish?" Chef jumped up from his desk in a rather chipper mood

"Sigh, what is it Lieutenant, and whatever it is make it-"

"Can I...I dunno, be the chopper gunner?"

"Hell no!" Gil snapped

"Well why not-"

"Look...Chef, if you can behave yourself-"

"YES!" he jumped up, and started for the roof

"Hayden's chopper!" Chris yelled "At least he's happy."

"Right."

"Montoya, you're with us!"

"Yes sir."

Over inside the attic, a bloody fight engaged between Scarecrow and Bat-Venom.

"Hi-yeah!"

"Oof-aw!" he fell to the ground "Not bad eh-"

"Yyah!" he sideswiped her

"For a woman!" they both stood up.

"Oh no you didn't!" let's take the next two minutes while they go at it to remind you this movie was brought to you by Warner Brothers Entertainment. Warner Brothers, it's a laugh a minute.

Oh good interesting stuff, okay Bat-Venom had socked Scarecrow in the face

"Ah, dammit you frickin bit-gah-gkgkgkgkgk!" she grabbed him by the collar and headbutted him "AW! F*ck...that hurt. YYAH!" she grabbed him by the neck "No-no-no-no-ple-gkgkgkgk!" and thrust her knife into his neck. She dropped the corpse to the floor, and took off his mask and retrieved her knife.

"Smooth. Now, to find a broadcasting room, I'm sure those jamokes will provide a proper distraction." she left Scarecrow to bleed out in the attic. Ironically, he had a fear of knives.

Back in officeland, the team had stopped in an office block that separated the hallways. One soldato walked to the window to see SWAT converge

"Aw, I don't like it."

"Easy, the sooner we find Beaumont the sooner we can all leave."

"Yeah but-[Chok]-GYAH!" the soldato suddenly found himself shishkabobed by Phantasm's claw, who responded by throwing him out the nearest window-[CRASH]

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" across the street, this perked Thorne's interest

"Holy...did you boys-"

"See that?"

. . .

"Boyle."

"Well-well, if it isn't my dear old friend Phantasm. Last time we met you were beating me around trying to find Joker! How'd that work out for you?"

"...It was eventful...so, you wanna do this the easy way or the-[bwak]-aw!" he fell, V-Bat entered holding another Batarang

"YOU!"

"Me."

"Oh cripes-don't I get enough of you during the night?" Greed asked

"Maybe?" he slung another Batarang, knocking Sadieface's head off.

"SADIEFACE!"

"I'm hit boys! Katie help!"

"Yeah, I'm coming!"

"Erg, enough of this fluff fest, get em boys!"

"With pleasure bo-[bang-bang]-unh!" Phantasm shot the one!

"Phantasm! Stop!"

"Make me!" he fired again in V-Bat's direction, who wisely dove behind a desk.

"Thought so-[bang-bang-bang-bang]" the other soldato kept on firing through cover by a window sill.

"Ha-too easy." he took out a ninja throwing knife, and slung it at his head-[chok]

"Grunt!" right on the mark

"Ha-ha, money shot."

Meanwhile, Bat-Venom found the room she was looking for, a broadcasting room. She made sure her message would be broadcasted to every-AND I MEAN EVERY, television screen in the city. Including the giant jumbotrons in Gotham city square.

"_Attention...attention all Gothamites, you may not know me, sorry I'm new...the names Bat-Venom, and let me assure you I am far deadlier, smarter, better looking, and merciless than ANYONE you have experienced before me. I promise you that in a matter of days the costumed community in this city will plummet to one...me, the police will be disbanded...by me...the local government will be impeached, and replaced by...me! I am your commissioner! I am your mayor! I am your queen! This is my city Gotham, anyone who so stands in my way...will cease to exist. That is all."_

in Gotham city Square, Ra's and Hugo stepped out of the car and stared at the screen

"Hugo?"

"Yes?"

"Perhaps I was mistaken when I said the vial was in police custody."

Trent watched the broadcast from home.

"...Well, that's all the motivation I need to stop this person."

. . .

Back at City Hall, Phantasm was fuming.

"What! If anyone is taking over this damn city, it's gonna be me!" he threw down some smoke and sprinted down the hall

"Dammit." V-Bat stood.

"No! I'm clocking that f*ck if it's the last thing i-[thwack]-oof!" V-Bat clotheslined him as he ran passed

"That's enough lip out of you Boyle." he cuffed him and Ventriloquist. And ran after Phantasm.

Now Bat-Venom headed for the nearby roof, whereas Phantasm was able to just catch a glimpse of it.

"Oh no you don't." he ran after her. He threw open the doors to the roof "where are-you?" she had disappeared

. . .

"Hey boss!"

"I see her, I see her!" Rupert added

. . .

"Come on, come out and fight like a-[thwack]-gah!" Bat-Venom out of nowhwre kicked his mask off, revealing Beaumont.

"Ha!"

"So...Bat-Venom is it?"

"Duh, didn't you hear the broadcast?"

"Yeah I did...listen up you wannabe, if there's one person taking over this town, it's gonna be me-GOT IT!"

"Oh believe me I got it...Me thinks I'll let the converging police handle this one, I'm sure they'll find a nice cell for you." she activated a jet pack. Noticing Bullock's chopper get close

"Oh no you don't!" she leaped onto her as they took off,

They flew erratically across the street, Chris and the team down below noticed

"Hey look!"

"It's that Bat-Venom girl!"

"And Phantasm!"

"Chef, you seeing this?"

"_Yeah I see it, on my way! Yo Hayden!"_

"_I see em I see em!" _

"OOF!" the two crashlanded on the roof right next to thorne's on the other side of the street, would be the city square. Bat-Venom threw her adversary off of her.

"Erg!"

"That's it Beaumont you just signed your own death warrant!"

"Try me bitch! Try me!" Chef got close, he fired from the mounted M-60.

"Drop your weapons and stay where you are!"

"Not likely fatass!" Bat-Venom yelled, she and Beaumont ran for cover as Bullock fired

"Freeze! This is your last warning!"

"No this is your last warning Bullock!"

"Yeah like I'm gonna stop!"

"Oh you will!" with a smirk she turned from cover and fired a single shot at the roto engine, direct hit

"Whoa-whoa!"

"Hayden, what's wrong?"

"I can't control it Detective, were going down!"

"WHAT!"

"I said were going down!"

"Mayday-SOS-Assistance!" Chef yelled as the chopper spun.

[CRASH]

The chopper crashed onto the roof, Bat-Venom walked over to the wreckage, she saw the pilot was dead, but Bullock was half slumped out of it, clinging to life

"Ugh...unh...uh." she stood above him, gun in hand. "Huh?"

"You always were a lousy cop Bullock."

"Gasp."

"I'm doing you a favor...[bang]" he died "Ha-ha too eas-Y!" Andrea leaped onto her back, Bat-Venom was too tough she threw Andrea over, and then had her handing onto her arm for dear life as she hung over the side of the building.

"AH!"

"Look familiar Andrea?"

"I-I-I don't know what you're talking about?"

"Oh come off it." she took off her reengineered mask.

"Gasp! Gordon!"

"That's right, surprised?"

"Yeah! You're no killer!"

"That pussy Bridgette Gordon, yeah you're right, shes not." then she pulled Beaumont closer to her face "But I am." without another word, she led Andrea go, and she fell 21 stories to the square below.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH-[splat]"

**R&R Please! **


	230. The MOVIE, Part III

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Chapter 3: Some People, Just Want to see the World Burn...  
**

Ra's and Hugo looked over at where Beaumont lay.

"Should have killed Hitler when I had the chance." Ra's scoffed

"Hey, watch it he was my boss."

"Well you're boss was a psychotic sociopath who might just be crazier than I. Is there an antidote for this?"

"Yes, but I will need a big batch, my old laboratories are in Dorchester."

"Then what are we doing standing around here!" Ra's yelled hopping into the car. "Ubu!"

"Master?"

"Dorchester, and step on it!"

"Yes master!"

Thorne looked down from the building him and his soldiers stood on.

"Well, that takes care of that, right boss?" Frankie asked

"Are you kidding, so many questions unanswered, whoever this person is, I don't like them." The Kingpin bellowed.

"Come on boss, she offed Beaumont didn't she?" Frankie asked

"And she did it for free." The other soldato added

"I don't care, this one worries me, let's be off, hoping the police don't find us."

"And as an added bonus she offed that fat ass Bullock." Frankie added

It didn't take long for Rebecca to be kneeling by her mother, sobbing.

"Whyyyyyyyyyy! WHYYYYYYYY!"she sobbed At a distance, Batman was talking with V-Bat.

"Boyle...Crane...and Wesker?" Batman asked

"Yeah."

"You know why?"

"To do what this Bat-Venom person did...not sure who sent them though."

"If it was for Phantasm could be any number of people."

"And if you want my opinion, whoever it was, probably hired Bat-Venom too, perhaps as a distraction for the others."

"Jeez Ham that's one hell of a distraction."

"I know." Chris joined them. He did not look happy

"Well?" V-Bat asked

"...Bullock's dead." he said solemnly

"What?" The Batmen jumped

"What the hell happened?" Batman asked

"That Venom chick, popped him right in the head before offing Beaumont, Took out Cam Hayden too."

"Whoever this is, it's definitely someone who is more dangerous than anyone we could have imagined." V-Bat snarled teeth a-grit. Just then Gil walked over, more angry than sad

"How goes the investigation partn-" Chris tried to say

"I don't know what kind of criminal mastermind were dealing with here, but I just found Crane's body in the attic room, with multiple stab wounds, definitely a struggle."

"Scarecrow too?" Batman asked surprised

"Yeah, but get this, those three other guys, soldiers to Rupert Thorne, or so we think."

"So Thorne could be behind this?"

"Yeah, but why hire someone who was just gonna kill an associate during a job?" Gil asked

"Maybe cause she wasn't working for him?" V-Bat asked sarcastically.

"Oh."

"Alright look, I'll put my trip on hold and then, see what I can do about Rebecca. In the meantime, watch for Thorne, somehow I have a feeling I'll be dealing with him tonight." Batman squinted his eyes.

Lucius Fox sat in his new office...meaning Trent's office. The Executive plunged in.

"Mr. Wayne, nice to see you back so soon."

"Can the nice Lucius, we got a situation."

"Hmm-hmm, no shit Sherlock, everyone knows who this chick is."

"What do you got for me that's...well, new?"

"Well, I have these." Lucius opened his briefcase "These are new infrared specs, you put these in the eyes of your cowl, totally voice activated."

"Oh cool."

"Comes in infrared, night vision, black light good for finding fingerprints, fibers and such."

"Oh I'll enjoy that."

"X-Ray, so you can see your enemies behind solid cover. And protection, just in case of those bright lights."

"Now this is neat."

"Thought you'd like it, I also got this, Semtex in a can, just spray, run, and watch the boom."

"Whoa...how did you...how did you do this?" Trent asked

"I have some free time. Now last but certainly not least I have this. It's a mini circular saw, stainless steel, can cut virtually anything that isn't reenforced with concrete, alloys, or diamonds."

"Neat. So, you wanna help Geoff and be our eyes and ears for this whole thing?"

"Well, I'd...have to take the day off-"

"Yeah-yeah-yeah cut the bullsh*t, let's go."

"Hmm-hmm, good to have you back Mr. Wayne."

Inside the Bat-Cave, Night-hacker was looking over some details about the situation that morning.

"Well...this is a puzzler."

"I should agree." Alfred said pouring himself some tea. "Someone finally went off the deep end it would seem."

"Yeah it would Alfred." he turned around in his chair "Question is why? According to the death toll from this girl: Crane...Bullock...Beaumont."

"That is strange...neither three have any positive reaction with the other-as far as I know of...strange pattern."

"Perhaps there's not a pattern at all?" he shrugged

"Maybe. It would mean a lot more researching to do."

"Oh Joy." Night-hacker rolled his eyes.

A car pulled in the Bat-Cave.

"Is that Lucius?" Alfred asked

"Yeah I think so, cause that's his car." Lucius stepped out

"Gentlemen."

"Hello, might I get you some tea Mister Fox?"

"Thank you Alfred."

"Very good sir."

"So, I assume you're to help me with this whole "Bat-Venom" thing?" Night-hacker asked

"That's the short version of it."

"What do you know about it?"

"Oh...10% less than you do."

"Great." Night-hacker rolled his eyes again.

Outside Wayne Manor Trent had pulled up with Rebecca sitting shotgun.

"Are...you...sure I can live with you Trent?" she asked still very sad.

"Of course you can Becca. I could never leave a friend sitting out alone, I would never do that."

"Thank you...you do realize that, I would have done whatever I could to help you stop mom...she wasn't perfect...but she still loved me." Trent smiled

"I know. Glad to know we would have had help. I'm sure Jason will be happy to see you."

"I'm sure." she sighed. Jason threw open the door.

"Oh God Rebecca!"

"Jason!" they embraced in a hug, Trent rolled his eyes.

"I'm so sorry to hear about your mother! Promise we'll do all we can to find her killer!"

"Lord." Trent rolled his eyes. "Hey lovebirds it looks like rain, take the kiss fest inside will ya?" he pushed them in. they never broke the kiss.

"Don't worry we will find this Bat-Venom whatever!"

"Oh bless you Jason Drake."

"Ugh, this is slowly turning into a bad movie." he headed for the Bat-Cave.

Inside, Geoff, Lucius, Alfred, Cody, and Sara began to plan on what to do next about this whole situation. Alfred served them tea.

"Thank you Alfred." Cody said

"Crane...Bullock...Andrea." Trent counted "It just doesn't add up."

"They're murders." Sara countered "Does it matter?"

"Of course...everyone has a motive...even Joker, even he enjoys some semblance of a goal." Trent said slamming his fists on the table "None of those three could have in any way caused harm to this Bat-Venom chick!"

"Perhaps...it was a contract?" Alfred asked

"Could be, she certainly has the precision for it." Sara added

Meanwhile outside a seedy general store in Park Row, Frankie stepped into the passenger seat of the car with a few fresh pack of smokes.

"Alright Tone here's you're-gasp! Tony! TONY!" he looked over to see his buddy shot up, resting against the steering wheel "Who the hell did this-[knock-knock]-huh? Oh shi-[pop-pop]-unh." Bat-Venom was right outside the car, and killed Frankie too.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha, that'll teach you to spy on me Thorne...but don't worry, you'll get yours...just don't sleep-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ooh; don't mind if I do." she took the pack of cigarettes from Frankie's dead hand. "Ah, free...my new favorite word." she lit it, then heard a siren she was familiar with.

"Freeze!" two cops in a cop car nearby.

"Oh come on." she rolled her eyes

"Commissioner, Bat-Venom spotted! 83rd and Custer, Park Row!" the one officer called over a radio "Back-Up requested, shes-[bang]"

"Sh*t!" the cop couldn't open his door, she inched closer "Shiiiiiiiiii-[bang]"

"Ha-ha-ha, fish in a barrel!" she yelped another squad car came around the corner "Ugh, you'd think they would learn." of all people, it was an angry Courtney

"This is Montoya responding!" she drove closer "I'm coming for ya you...you...you...PARTNER KILLER!" suddenly she got closer, but Bat-Venom leaped up and jumped over her car. "What the?" she screeched to a halt

"Catch me if you can copper!"

"Erg! Who the bloody hell is this?" she gritted her teeth, and followed Bat-Venom.

Who dashed through the door to an abandoned building. Of all the buildings, it was Dr. Leslie Tomkins's small time clinic she ran, Leslie herself was the only inhabitant.

"What?" she heard the noise, and looked out the second floor window to see Montoya's car out front. "My word, I think I was just broken into." she grabbed the small .38 Detective Special she kept under the medical table "Not if I have anything to say about it."

Back at the Bat-Cave.

"Well I'll be damned, according to the security footage...Thorne was watching the whole thing, and according to Boyle's excuse...they were in fact trying to whack Beaumont, but he won't say if it was under Thorne's orders."

"But why kill Crane though?" Sara asked

"Loose end maybe?" Lucius suggested

"No...erg, this could've been a contract!" Trent screamed "Thorne is a class act, he would never hire someone THAT unpredictable! Nothing makes sense! It just doesn't."

"I may have another theory." Alfred suggested "But I must tell it to Master Trent alone."

"Oh right."

"That's lunch people!" they left the Bat-Cave. Alfred turned to Trent, still slamming his fists on the Bat-Computer

"Master Trent?"

"Not now Alfred, I'm trying to grasp all of this!"

Cutscene to outside Leslie's place.

"This is Montoya I've cornered the suspect inside a structure, at 432nd Custer Avenue, free to engage...good." she walked into the place, no Bat-Venom to be had. "Where are you Bat-Whatever, I gotta special bullet for ya, it's from Chef...with...not too much love!" well thought out-NAT!

. . .

"I don't get it Alfred, it just...everyone has some kind of motive, even if it's just to get a laugh, no one kills this erratically for no good reason...it just doesn't add up."

. . .

Cutscene to the upstairs of Leslie's clinic.

"Hello? Whose there...who? Show yourself?"

"_It's like this Master Trent...back when I worked for the SAS they stationed me and my crew in Taiwan." _Leslie turned another corner "Show yourself! The police are on they're way, you might as well give up now while you still can!"

"_What happened Alfred?"_

"_We were looking for some chap, went by the name of Lau, Sun Lau, he was an expert thief, also a noted contract killer-worked for whoever brought him money...strange thing was, half the time he worked for free?"_

"_Why?"_

"_I'm getting to that. _"Where are you Bat-Venom? Don't think I forgot what you did to Chef!"_ But more about him, he sold his own parents to the government because he felt like it. Did whatever he could to make a quick buck-and like I said, half the time, he didn't even take it. So they sent us in to protect the people for the sake of the Crown, or something like that. _"Show yourself you intruder! I hear a police officer too, you're surely in for it now!"_ There was a mine under our control, they mined everything, gold, diamonds, rubies, even an emerald or two. This guy, was precise, he worked like they were paying him an arm and a leg for the job-would take the product right under our noses, that's how good Sun Lau was. We robbed us blind, he had a fortune. _"Oh please come out...please?"

"_And...?"_

"_And, weeks later, Fredrick and I spotted a young boy and his friends, they were playing a marbles type game...with priceless diamonds from that mine...later, a little girl was polishing a clump of gold easily worth a few hundred thousand pounds. _"Okay Tomkins, you want me, you got me!"

"Gasp!" I_n the next few days, we basically found all of our product, no Sun Lau."_

"_So he just...gave it away?"_

"Who...who are y-y-y-you, w-what do you want?"

"_Yes. You see Master Trent, the world is divided up into many types of people. There's the type that want something long term, people like you, Gordon, Mason, and the rest of our merry brude; a clean city, free of crime. _"What do I want...?" _"Then you have people who want the short term goals, this is where goals very, take me, I like a nice clean house. The Joker, he wants a good laugh, Ferris Boyle, he wants money. _"Please...p-p-pleeeease, stop!"

"_And...the other group?"_

"_Ah yes, I believe this Bat-Venom falls into this category." _"what do I want-[grab]"

"Oh dear!"

"I'll tell you what I want!" _"There are some people, who have absolutely no motives, they have no reason...they can't be persuaded with, bought out, or changed...some people- _"I want..." _Just want- _"You to..." _"To see us all burn and-" _"Die." [BANG] "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh, I was never all that poetic!"

"Gasp!" she turned to see Courtney, of wit, she quickly overpowered the Detective "AH!"

"Can't I ever get enough of you freaking cop people, hmm?" she asked, Courtney couldn't answer through the tears, and her hand muffled over her face. "As much as I would love to end you, right here, right now, it just wouldn't be professional of me, besides, I have other things to do, I'll be seeing ya Detective...but don't worry, you'll see Chef soon, hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm." she dropped Courtney and fled, leaving her with Leslie's body.

. . .

"I guess you're right Alfred...that...that does kind of put things into perspective." Trent said, he was near the edge of the cliff, looking down into the hanger.

"Uh...sir."

"Yes Alfred?"

"I uh...just heard...uh..."

"Alfred...Alfred what's wrong?" Trent asked

"Ugh...sir I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what? WHAT'S WRONG?"

"Bat-Venom...Montoya called...she...she...killed Leslie Tomkins in cold blood at her clinic."

"No...n-no-no-NO she couldn't have!"

"Sir...I'm...I'm so very sorry-"

"NO!" Trent broke down "Shes-gonna pay! I'll make this chick pay. One way or an-" Suddenly, speak of the devil, Bridgette entered said Bat Cave.

"Did you hear about this Bat-Venom...person?"

"I did...she just killed Leslie-"

"I know."

"You, do? How do you?" Alfred asked

"Who cares Alfred, that sick f*ck probably broadcasted it all over Gotham like she did the other thing. What are you doing tonight?" Trent asked

"Oh I...I have a lead to catch up on."

"Fantastic-good-good, this is good, let me get those jamokes, were checking out Thorne's place tonight-" Bridgette for whatever reason was a tad jumpy about that

"Whoa-whoa-whoa why?"

"Yeesh, just cause he's the only lead we got if anything."

"You...think you'll be there late?" she asked

"Jeez I hope not...after a day like today, I need sleep. Coming Alfred."

"Yes of course sir, right away." they headed for the stairs, leaving Bridgette alone.

"Well, I sure hope those morons aren't there at midnight, I would hate for them to die without me being there to witness it." She sat at the Bat-Computer "For I have my hearts set on another target...something, much...much bigger-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." she smiled looking at a diagram...of Arkham.

**To Be Continued...**


	231. The MOVIE, Part IV

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Chapter 4: Echoes, Silence, Patience, and Grace**

In his lab of sorts in the seedy area of Dorchester, Hugo was whipping up an extra strength antidote, Ubu sharpened a knife or two he had on him, Ra's...watched some TV.

"Hugo, how much longer will it take you to whip up that antidote?" Ra's asked from across the hall.

"It'll take some time, have patience Ra's. You can't rush perfection."

"I'm not, I'm rushing you!"

"What does it matter to you anyhow, were grounded until Boxer fixes the ship anyway."

"Humph, if let's Nault touch one tool, they'll be hell to pay."

"Why master?" Ubu asked from the other end of the apartment

"Nault is the go-to-guy when it comes to a lot of things Ubu...fixing not being one of them."

"This'll take time but I'm close to a breakthrough."

"You mean to tell me you do not even remember HOW to make the antidote?" Ra's fumed

"I'm rusty, please Ra's, in due time, we will solve this Bat-Venom problem once and for all."

"Humph, like I've heard that one before."

"But you haven't master-"

Oh shut-up Ubu!"

Darkness fell on Arkham Asylum, on the outside of the facility we suddenly see a dark figure starring at it, gee wonder who that is?

Anyway, in the rec room, it twas Movie Night, Dr. Bartholomew read them the list of movies.

"Okay everyone, we have a nice selection for movie night tonight."

"Can we see First Blood?" Bane asked

"No Bane."

"Oh darnit."

"Can we see the Exercist?" Duncan asked

"No Joker."

"Ooh-ooh-ooh!" Lindsay jumped "Mean girls?"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

"I'd rather watch whatever he's gonna suggest." Eva scoffed "Moron."

"Ahem, like I was saying, tonight's movie night includes: Field of Dreams-"

"GROAN!"

"Uh, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory."

"GROAN!"

"Alright-alright, time to bring out the big guns...perhaps The original Snow White-"

"BOOOOOOO!"

"Not Disney crap!"

"I'd rather see the Field of Dreams!"

"I'd rather see Mean Girls." Lindsay scoffed crossing her arms.

"Were not seeing mean girls you kook!" Dora snarled

"Alright-alright-ALRIGHT ALREADY!" Bartholomew fumed "We are watching Field of Dreams and if you don't like it, then you can return to your cells immediately!" everyone just sat and crossed their arms

"Now that's what I thought."

Meanwhile inside the laundry room, which was in the dark and creepy basement, a guard was taking a whiz in a nearby urinal, whistling a jaunty tune of some sort. He heard a noise.

"Huh?" then silence "Whose there w-[shing]" the sound of his decapitated head hitting the floor echoed.

"Oh, bastard got blood all over my nice new uniform...oh well."

"You hear that?"

"Yeah it came through here."

"Sh*t." two more guards rushed in, Bat-Venom was quick to hide.

"Aw sh*t!"

"MacGregor! Go find someone!"

"yes sir!"

"Holy crap, his head was cut right off, who in the-[tap-tap-tap]-huh?" he turned around, guess who.

"I would-[SHING]" she dashed outside to catch a glimpse of the other guard running away

"No...NO!" he ran for the nearest alarm and slammed on the button VERRRRRRR-VERRRRRRRRR!

"You...just signed your own death warrant!" she raised her weapon, the guard simply panted in fear "Not that it matters anyway-[bang-bang]"

The villains in the room heard this

"Now-now, let's remain calm everyone, I'm sure this is simply a-a-a-a malfunction!" Bartholomew mused. Just then, all the windows and exterior doors locked. "Or not." and a familiar face appeared on the TV screen.

"_Attention worthless villains, it is I, Bat-Venom. Make no mistake this place tonight WILL be your final resting place. As for anyone else, stand in my way and you too shall feel my wrath, that is all." her transmission ended._

"Oh great!"

"Her!"

"That little minx!"

"Alright-al-alright everyone calm-"

"No Doc you calm down!" Duncan screamed "That psycho is crazier than anyone of us here."

"And that's saying a lot!" Ferris added "After all, she killed Phantasm!"

"You might as well just let us defend ourselves!" DJ insisted

"No! I couldn't-"

"But as a doctor, it is your job to help us is it not?" Noah asked

"W-well, uh-u-y-yyes."

"Then start helping by getting out of our way so we can ICE this sick FUCK!" Dora screamed.

"So Doc." Duncan asked again

"What's it gonna be?" Harold finished

Later, Bat-Venom was walking around the cell blocks...silence. She heard an echo from behind her.

"There she is!" several guards were behind her, along with the Ventriloquist and Sadieface.

"You're in our den now dummy! This ain't city hall!" Sadieface chuckled

"You might as well just give up."

Dr. Leland watched from the camera room.

"Shots fired." she said solomly

"Holy sh*t doc, she just whacked all three, plus Wesker and the doll." a guard said

"Bullock, where is she?"

"South corridor!" he screamed

"Oh...This is certainly a bad time but uh...I'm sorry about your brother."

"So am I...but once we pinch dis ya-hoo, dats all da revenge I'll eva need."

"Hmm."

. . .

She sprinted through the hallway, coming face to face with the Riddler.

"Ha! Come on Venom, you've handled the rest, but can you take the best?"

"Oh come off it Nygma!"

"No you do, none of those morons is man enough like I am-[snaps]"

"UGH!"

"Just like Croc over here." Killer Croc had grabbed Bat-Venom from behind him

"Quite the feisty little one, isn't she?" Riddler asked getting closer

"You can say that again, man she keeps wriggling!"

"Not to worry Justin, I can fix that right quick."

"N-no, no you won't!"

"There's something awfully familiar about you young one...can't quite put my finger on it."

"Sure is a puzzler."

"Hey, that's my schtick Croc..."

"I'll send both of you to hell!" she mocked

"Sure you will, but I...will send you first." he took the sward from his cane.

. . .

"Dammit, they're gonna kill her!" Leland yelled

"I got dis!" Carlo got over the loud speaker

"_Hey! You freakin bozos lay one more hand on her, and I'll cut yours off! I want her alive!"_

"Alright-alright, come on Croc, let's just take her to-[shing]-shi-[stab]gak!"

"Gasp!" she activated a shoe knife and kicked him right in the throat.

"That's it."

"You little!" Croc squeezed harder

"GAH!" she reversed headbutted him, and she came loose, Croc hit the wall.

"Ah!" he looked up and saw the gun pointed to his head. "No...n-NO!"

"Relax croc...I'm just gonna fix that little face of yours-[bang]"

. . .

"She got Croc too." Leland sighed

"Shes headed for da kitchen! Team three, kitchen, I count Da stooges wit Vertigo, let's hope dey can wrangle her up!"

"I hope so." suddenly Bartholomew entered

"It's a mad house out there!"

"I know."

"Oh I am in for it, I should never have let the villains dress up and try to find her."

"I don't tink dat matters anymore doc, shes already whacked a few of em."

"What? Oh no...this is all my fault-I should never have listened to them!"

"It wouldn't matter anyway." Joan sighed

"Yeah, you put em in dere cells, it'd just be target practice fa her."

. . .

In the kitchen, Penguin had joined the four for some late night snacking. Grace.

"Hmm, ice cream, such a good treat."

"Ant might I zay ve have zuch a good fantage point to get zhe Bat-Venom, ja?" Vertigo asked

"It's pretty good I'd say." Blast noticed "This is the only entrance inside, and through the food door we got a good view of the whole chow room, as well as the only entrance to it."

"So let's keep our heads up, shall we boys?" Snatch asked

"I couldn't agree more." Vertigo said. Suddenly they heard the echo of the door move

"Front door!" Shifty yelled pointing his AR-15 through the food window.

"Whose there?" Penguin asked

"Well no one yet." Blast added "I dunno man, it looks so quiet out there...silence. I think it was just the wind."

"Are you zure?"

"Sure I'm sure Vertigo, if there was something amiss, trust me, I would-[shing]-know-[thud]"

"Cratcheville!" a knife impaled right dead center mass, there was nothing anyone could do.

. . .

"Blast is down." Bartholomew sighed looking at the camera.

. . .

"Sh*t!"

"Shes in here somewhere!"

"Come out, come out little Bat-vreak, ve got a zurprise vor you-ha-ha-ha-ha."

"Can the bullsh*t Vertigo, just look for her!" Snatch yelled. He jumped out and walked into the cafe, silence.

"See anything Trev?" Shifty asked

"Nope, nothing."

"M-maybe she left?" Penguin asked

"Now I doubt that, there's no way she would-[shing]" you don't even wanna know

"Dear God!"

"Snatch!"

. . .

"Naples?"

"Down."

. . .

Oh mein God."

"WHERE ARE YOU!" Shifty jumped in firing erratically "SHOW YOURSELF!"

"Ha-ha-ha...you never did learn how to shoot right O'Connor."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I dunno...figure it out-[bang]"

"Unh...[thud]"

"Shifty...guys?" Penguin looked out

"No Owen, it iz too dangerous!"

"For you! I'm running for my life!" he dashed for the exit "Ahhhhhhhh-[bang-thud]"

"Dammit."

. . .

"Cobblepot too."

"Team 3 get to the f*ckin' ktchen!" Bullock ordered

Vertigo had rested against the wall, deep breathing

"What's the matter Vertigo?"

"Gasp!"

"Cat got your tongue? That's okay, I got the perfect cure for that."

"We vill shtop you...not zure how but ve vill!"

"Yeah...pull the other one-[crunch-shing]"

"GAH-unh-" she thrust a sward straight through the wall, impaling him on the other side.

"Now, whose next?" she disappeared.

Just then Team 3 burst in.

"Freeze!"

"Don't...move?"

. . .

"Aw dammit!"

She got away again!"

. . .

It wasn't long before she came face to face with Hatter.

"Ha! Don't think I'm just another loser Venom! Soon you'll be under my control!"

"Ugh, I don't have time for this-can we just make it quick?"

"I should say not!"

"Look Harold, I'm a very busy girl, why don't you just make my life easier, and kill yourself, huh?"

"NEVER!"

"Ugh, cheese and rice."

"With the flick of this card, you will be mi-[shing]-mi-mi...ung-[thud]" she sliced the card, and his juglar in half.

. . .

"Tetch is down."

"South Corridor, dat's team...1, get to it!"

. . .

Bat-Venom made it to the rec room, empty.

"Hmm, Field of Dreams?" she picked up the DVD case. "What a stupid mov-IEEEE!" suddenly a few vines picked her up.

"I know, that's what we said!" she came face to face with Poison Ivy. Joined by Harley, Nurse Pain, Red Claw, and Mrs. Freeze.

"Well-well, all the psycho femme fatals all in one place...cute." she said

"One more word out of you and I shoot." Freeze threatened

"What should we do with her Red?" Harley asked

"What else? Wait for Bullock and his screw crew to make a mulch out of her...I think he's not too happy about the loss of his dearest brother." Ivy said "Big mistake there cupcake."

"Oh Ivy, you never cease to amaze me with your wit and crazed humor." Venom rolled her eyes

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Yeah I happen to love Red's sense of humor!"

"Sure you do!"

"Hey! Listen you, no one talks to my sister that way and gets away with it!"

"Well Harleen, looks like I just did, so; what are you gonna do about it?"

"Oh, she shouldn't have said that." Red Claw rubbed her hands evilly

"What am I gonna do about it she says? Well, for starters." she took out a medical saw "THERE'S THIS!"

"Oh that would be a problem."

"Yeah-yeah it is!"

"So f I was you, and thankfully I'm not, just give in already."

"Or-or, better idea-better idea...I could do this!" she dropped an incendiary gremade, when it exploded, the plants started to burn, and Venom was let free.

"MY BABIES!" Ivy yelled. Venom hit the floor

"Erg! I've had it with this nonsense! Time to take out the trash!" Red Claw lunged, only to be impaled by a knife SHING

"Oh that's it! THAT IS IT! You're mine BAT-FUCK!" Dora aimed her freeze gun, but Venom was too fast for her, and impaled her right in the neck SHING!

"No...My babies!"

"Red hurry, we gotta run!"

"But Harl-"

"NOW!" Harley pulled Ivy up and the two headed for the exit. Venom was too fast and she caught up.

"Red hurry! S-Save yourself!" she pushed Ivy out the door, right before being impaled

"HARLEY!" by impulse Ivy kept running until she ran out of breath. Venom caught up "You...you sick twisted-"

"Oh get over it, you'll see her soon anyway-[crash]-WHAT!" suddenly a large something burst through the wall, it was Bane

"ROOOOOOOAR!"

"Gah!" He grabbed Bat-Venom.

"Good...very good Bane." Two-Face followed suit, he flipped his coin. "Bad Heads." he shrugged

"What are you waiting for Al! Kill her!" Ivy ordered. His gun was on her. "Wh-what, what are you do-[bang]"

"That flip was for you Izzy. Don't tell me that wasn't a long time coming. And now my dear, there is the matter of yourself."

. . .

"4 way corridor separation! Get there! Get there!"

"And make sure you pinch faces while yer at it!"

. . .

"You're not going anywhere little girl." Bane said

"Oh believe me I am, right out the front door."

"Yeah sure...in a body bag." Two-Face chuckled

"Yeah, so just-"

"Make this easy on myself blah-blah-blah, it's getting old dammit, and quite frankly, I'm not in the mood."

"You hear that Al, shes not in the mood."

"Yes...but we are." he flipped his coin.

Bat-Venom quickly kicked it away, then flipped herself above Bane and kicke dhim right into Two-Face

"What the-OOF!"

"Aw!" Two-Face looked up to see Bat-Venom with his coin, and a gun above his head. "Bad heads...looks like you lose-[bang]"

"No-no-no-no-no-please no!"

"Don't worry Bane, I'm sure you're momma will miss you."

"Don't you talk about mamma you sick-[bang-bang-bang]"

"F*ck? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." Echoes...

. . .

"where's she now?"

"I can't find her!"

"We keep-"

"HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

"Oh no."

"Aw sh*t, laughing boy's got us bogged down, he's controlling the cameras...he and uh...Perfect, Money bags is in the gym.

. . .

"Come in-Come in Bat-Venom."

"Joker! Where are you?"

"Oh, I'm somewhere...and...then I'm nowhere-Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" the lights faded

"Just come out you diseased freak!"

"I know you are but what am I? Nah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

"JOKER!"

"Yes?"

"Come on-"

"No, you come on Bat-Venom...or should I say Batgirl?"

"Gasp!"

. . .

"Gasp!"

"GASP!"

"It can't be?"

"Could it?"

. . .

"Or should I say...Bridgette Gordon? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"How did you know?"

"That's for me to know and for you to never find out. And since that cats out of the bag, how about we release all that pint up aggression, with a blind fight huh? Ha-ha."

"I can't see?"

"No...I can, thank you Night vision goggles!"

"Come at me bro!"

"Oh don't worry, I will, and then I'll rub you out...FOR-GOOD!" she heard the footsteps, then channeled all kinds of chi...and heard the laugh

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-AHA-ha-ha-ha-ha-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-[bang]-unh-[thud]" she walked up to him "You...you did it, ha-ha-ha-ha, you got me...well don't be discouraged, you'll reach your downfall soon enough, I can already sense it ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-unnnnnnnnnh..."

"Well, he died laughing, like he always wanted-OOF!" she was suddenly thrown aside, by Greed. Patience.

"You...y-you-you-"

"Go ahead and say it Goblin! I've already heard it all believe me!"

"What are you trying to prove? You killed everyone...including Harleen-WHY!"

"Cause...I dunno, I was bored."

"You really must have snapped Gordon! I'm not sure how, or why, but you're gonna be in for it!"

"Nope, like I said, I'll just walk through the front door."

"NO! I'm gonna make up for my girlfriend's murder...as for everyone else...I hope you have plans to see them again-"

"UNH!" he sat on her, and had his hands on her neck

. . .

"GYM! Stat!"

. . .

"Because I'm gonna be the one to send you there to see em."

"You think...I'm scared of you?"

"You'd better be."

"I...took out EVERY villain and a few guards here...with a freaking Ruger, a few switch blades, and a Katana! Face it! I'm you're worst nightmare in a sexy little blonde package!"

"You're nothing but a snapped psycho whose lost all their marbles."

"And what are you, huh?"

"Huh?"

"A forgotten CEO, a swindler, a two-bit sociopath who cares about three things, himself, money, and a ditzy pile of psychosis!"

"YOU, are in NO position to bad mouth Harleen like that!" he tightened his grip "You're going down Gordon. I want to hear you scream-nah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah! I SAID SCREAM! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

"No." she took a blade from her belt with her free hand "But I WILL hear you choke."

"Huh-[choke]-GAH...that...that's not funny, that's not...ung-[thud]"

"And that, as they say...is that-"

"Shes in here!"

"In the gymnasium come on!"

"Through here!" the guards ran in to see no sign of her.

. . .

"_We lost her sir."_

"Look again!" Carlo yelled "Shes gotta be here somewheres!"

"I don't think so sir!"

"What?"

"Why?" Bartholomew asked

"The-the front doors just unlocked she...she, left."

"She said...she would walk right out da front door...son of a bitch."

"Get the Commissioner on the line!" Leland ordered "Hey...you hear that?"

. . .

Outside, Venom walked away

"Echoes."

. . .

"It's a beeping noise!"

"I hear it too."

. . .

"Silence."

. . .

"Everyone quiet-shh-shh, listen...listen, it's nearby."

. . .

"Patience."

. . .

"It's in here." a guard opened up the cabinet, revealing a huge bomb

"Oh sweet Jesus!"

"How did she even-"

"KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

The Asylum erupted in a ball of fire, demolishing the whole facility just as Venom was in the clear.

. . .

"And grace...Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...ha."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	232. The MOVIE, Part V

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Chapter 5: Mercenary**

**(With special musical guest: Panic! At the Disco)**

At Wayne Manor Alfred served a still saddened Rebecca some supper.

"Here you are Miss Beaumont."

"Thanks Alfred." she said at a near whisper.

"Uh...You know I was never the best at these sorts of things, but-"

"I know, your sorry-I'm sorry-everyone's sorry." she said a tad irked "Believe me, I told Trent, my mother wasn't perfect-hell she was insane, but why did she deserve to die Alfred? Oh when I get my hands on that Bat-Venom...she WILL pay."

Alfred rolled his eyes and patted his forehead.

"Heaven help me, another one." he whispered

"I couldn't imagine who would have such a vendetta against her specifically though...it was clearly someone who knew she was Phantasm, and not to piss on Trent's parade but Rupert Thorne is a sure dead end."

"Yes well, be that as it may, I'm certain in that Master Trent will reach a breakthrough, at some point." Alfred looked towards the stairs, where Lucius was motioning for him to follow him. "Uh, I'll be right back Miss Beaumont, it appears I'm wanted upstairs."

"Okay Alfred."

The butler followed Lucius down into the Bat-Cave.

"What's wrong Mister Fox?"

"The new program I installed a month ago was activated...it can detect distressed aircraft's in the area. Check this." Lucius typed a few buttons. "Aircraft touched down early this morning, not too far from Arkham Asylum."

"My word, that must be Ra's Al Ghul's plane."

"My thoughts exactly. Speaking of Arkham, check this." Lucius opened up a live news story Summer Gleeson was standing atop some charred rubble

"_What you see below me WAS Arkham Asylum, this once proud facility was dashed, by who authorities assumed to be Gotham's latest psychopath Bat-Venom."_

"Dear God."

"But wait, Ra's plane is nearby, I bet shes on her way there as well." Lucius added

"Lucius...if what you say is true, that would mean-"

"Bat-Venom accessed the software FROM here!"

"But...but-but-but t-t-t-t-t-that w-w-would mean?"

-_"Who would have a vendetta against my mother unless they knew she was Phantasm-"_

"Oh my God."

"What?" Lucius asked

"I think...I surely hope I'm wrong, but I think, Bat-Venom...is really Miss Bridgette."

"NO! [clonk] OW!" Geoff was under the Bat-Wing making some repairs when he heard that statement, he jumped back into his chair "No-no-no-no-no-no-no-a million times no! It just can't be!"

"I dunno Geoff, Alfred's gotta point, all the evidence does point to her."

"No! Bridgette's far too nice."

"I have noticed shes been acting quite strange lately." Alfred added "Why ever since Master Trent returned."

"No." Geoff took out the ring he was gonna propose with "I'm marrying this girl someday Alfred. I know shes no criminal."

"Oh please Master Geoffrey, if you were going to propose to her you would have done it by now."

"I'm waiting for the right moment thank you very much!"

"Well whatever floats your boat then." Alfred sighed "Come, I'll fix your supper."

Over yonder and not so far off, the Bat Team was outside Rupert Thorne's villa, which was guarded by a horde of bodyguards.

"So, I assume splitting up might be an option?" Exterminator asked

"When isn't it?" Batman smirked "V-Bat and I. take the roof and enter through that way somehow."

"Ha-ha, love it."

"Robin and Ex I know you two like the direct approach, but make it stealthy, and R-squared try the garage."

"I'm sorry R-squared?" he asked

"You know...Red Robin...2 R's...RR...R-squared?"

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiight."

"Ugh, let's just get moving."

"Right...mercenary style." Ex mused.

_[Intro]_

Batman and V-Bat leaped on the roof, and silently subdued the two guards there hence.

_Just a dime store poet_

_Keeping pace talking his face blue_

_Two dollar store tramps_

_To get a new glance_

Ex and Robin clonked two knuckleheads together by the pool, and were able to break into the apartment, and then knocked out another guard by slamming him into a fridge.

_a new chance for you_

_walk passed the dance floor_

_that's always been a dear friend of mine_

_Cut calls and concubines_

R-Squared used some knock-out pellets to K-O one guard by the garage, then used a battle staff to whack the other down. Very nice footwork.

_dancing in full-full time_

_Hey Mister! The bell man said_

_I can only recall last nights _

_hotel I said so he replied_

Batman and V-Bat entered through a balcony which lead into a dark second story reading room. Batman used the new Specs to see there were heat signatures behind the cover of a few couches and nice ahairs

_and said how do you manage_

_I dodge the blast and apologize _

_for collateral damage_

It didn't take long for the Bat duo, to subdue the guards who thought they were already to take the duo out. The two tiptoed down the hallway.

_[Instrumental]_

Downstairs, Ex and Robin had taken out three guards in the foyer and by the staircase. They were then captured by two more, however, someone was there to chloroform the two guards so they let them go.

_In love I've always been a mercenary but I_

_Never leave my post when the cash _

_runs out! Better make you quiver make_

_your backbone shiver Hey Kid!_

There smirking was The Eldest Drake, the three took out one last guard, and tiptoed upstairs, trying not to alert anyone else.

_Take the stage and deliver!_

_Hey Mister! The bell man said_

_I can only recall last nights _

_hotel I said so he replied_

Batman turned a corner in the hall where he was confronted by a guard, a few flicks of the wrist and said guard ate sh*t.

_and said how do you manage_

_I dodge the blast and apologize _

_for collateral damage_

_(Collateral damage collateral damage)_

_(Collateral d-d-d)_

V-Bat could hear the words of Hugo Strange in his head, the villa reminding him of his own house, and his own parent's untimely murder.

_[instrumental]_

_Strange: How does it feel, to stand on _

_the very stones that ran with your _

_parents blood? Do you feel sad?_

_Full of Rage? Or does that outfit_

The little Bats clonked another two dumbass heads together, and tiptoed to meet up with their superiors.

_Belay your feelings? Hiding your_

_True self. You are truly an_

_Extraordinary specimen, I look_

_forward to breaking you._

The Bat duo saw Thorne's bedroom door at the other end of the hall, a laser grid separating them from it. Good thing they're both quite flexible.

_Singer: I dodge the blast and_

_Apologize for collateral damage!_

_Hey Mister! The bell man said_

_I can only recall last nights _

Batman did some lunges, and some flips and such, and he was over to the other side.

_hotel I said so he replied_

_and said how do you manage_

_I dodge the blast and apologize _

_for collateral damage_

V-Bat was struggling, luckily, there was a control panel on the other side to control the grid, of wit, Batman turned off as the older Bat did a face plant. Kinda funny.

_Hey Mister! The bell man said_

_I can only recall last nights _

_hotel I said (Hotel I said) so he replied_

_and said how do you manage_

Eventually all five regrouped, and they were ready to breach.

_I dodge the blast and apologize _

_for collateral damage_

_[Outro]_

"Well, that was fun." R-Squared shrugged

"That was, I rather enjoyed that." Ex smiled

"Alright, we had our fun, time to teach Thorne here a lesson." Batman deepened his voice.

The doors flung open, and the light hit Thorne

"What? Whose there! Show yourself!" he drew his gun. V-Bat was quick to throw a Batarang with deadly accuracy into the barrel, rendering it useless

"You!" a surprised Thorne tossed the gun aside "W-what do you want, I-I've done nothing you can't prove anything!" He cringed. Batman grabbed him

"Oh I can Thorne! And we want answers!"

"So spill!" R-squared ordered

"Hey, shush! Anyway, we know you ordered the hit on Andrea Beaumont-fess up!"

"O-Okay-okay I did-I did, but I swear, none of my contractees killed the bitch!"

"We know." V-Bat added

"No we don't...or do we, who was that girl Thorne...Bat-Venom?"

"How-how should I know? She wasn't working for me I swear it! S-s-s-she killed Scarecrow, and Frankie, one of my Lieutenants! Whoever she is, she has absolutely NO affiliation to me whatsoever! I promise!" he cringed again

"Erg...okay, your story checks out." Batman dropped him back on the bed. "But keep in mind, I WILL be back once I have more evidence to convict you...so you enjoy that nice bed of yours Rupert. Come on guys."

Thorne fell back into his bed and wiped the sweat from his brow

"Whew...hey, wait a minute, what's that beeping?"

The gang had exited the villa compound.

"What time is it?" V-Bat asked

"11:59." Robin said

"Alright I say we pack it in what say-

KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! The villa exploded behind them, and the team hit the deck.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?" Robin yelled

"Must have been a bomb?" V-Bat suggested

"No...I'll tell you who it was...Bat-Venom." Batman snarled

"Well look, were not doing much good standing around here to be charred to death!" Ex yelled

"Shes right, besides, I may have an idea on how to get her to come out in the open." Batman said, he started to walk away, everyone else, stopped and thought a moment, then followed him

"Wait a minute!"

"At least tell us what it is!"

But wait! Were still not done yet! Next up, Bat-Venom had her heart set upon Ra's plane, in the obscure wasteland outskirts of the Somerset District.

"Oh yeah, maybe with a little luck, Ra's will be there too." she smirked, and counted up her weapons.

"Let's see...Ruger pistol, check...Katana...check...dual machetes, check...stolen MP5...check, low on ammo though, let's see, ooh, sawed off double barrel, how could I forget you baby...and last but certainly not least, Recon 1 Cold Steel blade...oh yeah, I'm ready."

She sneaked up to the large monstrosity, the main hanger door was carelessly lowered so she was able to sneak right in. She wall crawled right next to a lounge where Ra's 10 shadows sat and watched some Freakazoid! She sneaked passed that, up a small stairwell to her right would be the galley.

Where Ra's loyal yet timid manservent cleverly named Mansfield was diligently preparing snacks and such. And he of course hummed a mellow, jaunty, and British sounding tune to himself. Bat-Venom tiptoed behind him, blade in hand, when she passed a cutting table a smirk crept on her face, she sat a Meat Clever wedged into the wood.

"Oh the irony." she said to herself. She picked it up. And sneaked up behind him, but was interrupted by the sound of-

"_Yo Dre? You any closer to us tasting sweet Tea and crumpets yet?" _Came Ash Nault's voice from over the loud speaker.

"Sh*t." a disoriented Bat-Venom quickly tiptoed behind her and into the pantry.

"Good heavens, could that speaker be any louder?" Mansfield asked to apparently no one and rubbed his head.

"Dammit!" Boxer rolled from under one of the engines in the engine room, and looked for the loudspeaker there. _"No! In fact, I've found like 10 more damn things wrong with this damn jet, were so grounded, it ain't even funny Ash."_

"_Well just hurry it up!"_

"_You jamoke, I'm actually gonna have to go into town and pick up a few things..and by that I mean steal them, besides, we can't do anything till Mr. Ghul and Strange get back."_

"Gimme." Lock-Up ordered for Ash to hand him the speaker _"Ra's said something about Hugo needing to take care of some kind of business, they could be awhile Andre."_

"_Well ain't that a relief , cause awhile is just what I need to fix this fool thing!" _

"_Just get to work." Lock-Up said calmly_

"_We'd be airborne 10 times faster if I had some got damned help!" _

"Should we help him?" Lock-Up asked

"I ain't going, I gotta watch the...t-the-the g-gears and stuff." Ash trembled

"The gears?"

"Yeah."

"Those gears." Lock-Up pointed to the gears on the dash (If you haven't guessed they're in the flight deck)

"Yeah that's r-right."

"Ash?"

"Yes Lyle?"

"WERE ON THE FREAKING GROUND!"

"Jeez oh man, I get it already jeesh!"

The morons left the mic on, and Mansfield heard them from the kitchen

"Ugh, such barbarians." he sighed, and used the mic in the kitchen _"If we could all act civilized for five minutes, I've prepared us some lovely snacks, Master Boylan, perhaps you should take a break."_

"_In a minute or two Mansfield...gotta...tighten...this...bolt-[crash]-OW-FUCKER!"_

"Ugh." Mansfield did a facepalm. And he grabbed the platter of various dips "Now goodness me, where did I put those crackers?" he passed the pantry, Bat-Venom sweated holding the box out "Thank you." he said taking the box...totally oblivious, he left.

"Whew." she sighed of relief, and left the pantry. But when she turned an unsuspecting shadow entered

"Mansfield might you have any-gasp!"

"ERG!" she lunged, and plunged her knife into his throat

"Gakakakakaka-unh." she looked up to see another shadow across the hall

"Damn." she took her knife and launched it when he tried to run, bullseye, right in the back of the neck

"AH!"

. . .

"You hear that?" Ash asked, kind of startled

"Yeah I did, did not sound right."

"Lyle, we definitely got an intruder in our midst."

"No kidding." the two stood up.

"Gentlemen, would you care for some-[smash]" they ran right through Mansfield, knocking his dips all over his suit

"Not now Chuckie!"

"We got bigger fish to fry-heh-heh-heh-heh."

"Oh dear, you pigs!" the Butler complained.

Bat-Venom had done away with another two shadows which had gotten in her way, then she heard the sound of large footsteps grow close. It was Lock-Up

"Oh jeez! Yo Ash, we definitely got a problem on our hands here." he said over com link

"_Whatcha mean over?"_

"I count four casualties kitchen and kitchen corridor, danger close."

"_Roger that."_

"Alright sicko, you're in for a world of hurt once I find you."

"Ah-he-hem!" Bat-Venom turned from her hiding place behind him, and pointed her sawed off

"Huh?" Lock-Up turned around

"Lucky I found you first Bolton-[BLAM]" The bullet proof vest was no match for the hard 12 gauge slug.

"_Bolton...Bolton you there...answer me dammit!" _she picked up the radio

"Whoever you are, you'll be joining him soon enough." she dropped the radio

"Sh*t!" Nault yelled he dashed through the plane trying to look for who ever got Lock-Up, through a corridor he ran right into a shadow

"GASP!" who was hung "Holy sh*t!" Nault cut him down "Who the hell are we dealing with here?" a felt a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around. "GASP!"

"Me-[BLAM]"

"GRUNT!" the blast blew Nault to the other side of the hallway, another Sadow saw this as he turned the corridor

"What the hell is going o-oh sh*t!"

"Hi ya."

"H-h-h-hi." he said nervously

"Now-bye-ya-[bang]" Ruger shot to the forehead.

Mansfield had ventured off with a cup of tea in hand back down towards the kitchen, ignoring the dead bodies, the thought of a clean blazer was on his mind

"Good Heavens, I try to something nice-and what's my reward? Nothing that's what, lousy good for nothing." the camera pans to behind Bat-Venom who is holding the meat clever from earlier. You don't even wanna know how shes gonna chop him up.

Anyway downstairs, Boxer had finally taken notice to the ruckus.

"_Yo guys, what in the hells going on up there...hello? Anyone? Oh shi-_[sniff-sniff]-gas? Well that ain't good."

Bat-Venom wasted no time, as do I. She had made a small gas trail leading up to the plane.

"Well, I might not have found Ra's. But at least I know he ain't going anywhere. And, thanks to that butler of his, I now know where he went. Ha-ha-ha-ha!" she held up Mansfield's bloody agenda book, Ra's had called him saying the address in Dorchester. She threw the lit match onto the gas trail, and watched the show, at a safe and manageable distance of course.

Boxer watched the inferno rage, from the window as the plane was slowly engulfed.

"Oh sh*t." he was locked in. Then he noticed Bat-Venom waving, turning away. "YOU! I-I'VE SEEN YOU! YOU...YOU SHITHEAD! YOU MAY GET US...BUT JUST WAIT TILL MISTER GHUL GETS A HOLD OF YOU...YOU'LL BE SORRY!" Boxer begrudgingly accepted his fate.

Upstairs, also on fire, Lock-Up...woke up, barely clinging to life.

"Sh*t." he sighed, before blacking out.

Then the plane simply imploded on itself! And Bat-Venom walked away.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Well, I do say that was a productive evening...ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-AHA-HA-HA-HA! Man has my evil laugh gotten better or what?" Or what would be my answer "Don't get comfortable Ra's, your next on my list, then once your through I can focus on my number 1 target...Batman. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

**To Be Continued...Well guys, we are narrowing it down, just parts 6, 7, and 8 to go and that...is...all...he...WROTE! THEN I'll focus the month of June on my other projects that appear to be neglected...PLEASE REVIEW! And stay tuned...**


	233. The MOVIE, Part VI

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Chapter 6: All Filler No Killer **

The Bat team returned to the Bat-Cave, all very tired, and all very confused.

"So, how did it go?" Alfred asked a tad nervous

"Nightmarish, where's Lucius?" Batman asked

"Oh he went home not long ago."

"You alright Alfred?" Ex asked taking her mask off

"Yeah man, you look like your on your way to your own funeral." Robin concluded

"I might be." Alfred said in a low whisper.

"What was that Alfred?"

"Uh, has anyone seen Ms. Gordon at all this evening?" he asked, Geoff simply crossed his arms

"No I haven't, but hey; someone has to defend the city while we do busy work." Batman shrugged

"Yeah, defend alright." The Butler whispered

"Anyway speaking of funerals, I may have the perfect idea to get Bat-Venom." Batman explianed

"Oh really?" Alfred asked looking over at Geoff.

"Yeah, what is it?" he asked

"Chef and Andrea's funerals are tomorrow, Chris planned a huge funeral procession for them, it would be the perfect time and place for Venom to do some real damage."

"You don't say." Alfred sneered

"So, what will we do?" V-Bat asked "I gotta make a speech."

"Exactly, so she'll gun for you, we just place a huge security team in key areas, and when she decides to strike, we can get her easier."

"Well, it's crude, but hey so is she."

"Alright then it's settled."

"Uh-uh, Master Trent, i-if I may-"

"Not now Alfred."

"But are you sure you have all the bugs worked out on this one?"

"Of course." Alfred sighed

"I...I don't think you do, uh everyone, might I talk to Master Trent alone?" Alfred asked everyone shrugged

"Sure."

"Alright."

"Come on let's get some rest." Everyone exited the Bat-Cave. Geoff being the last

"Okay Alfred, what is it?"

"Sir, there's something you should see." he went to the Bat-Computer and pulled up the news feed.

"What? Arkham...gone? A—a-a-a-and Ra's crew?"

"All gone. And guess whose-"

"[slam]-Bat-Venom! When I get my hands on that-t-th-th-th-that little-"

"That's what I wanted to tell you, Lucius and I were talking and..."

"And..." Batman asked

"Uh...d-don't worry about it, just...just get some rest sir."

"Alright Alfred. Goodnight." Trent shrugged and headed for the stairs

"Ugh." Alfred rubbed his temples and headed back for the computer. "I sure hope your right Master Geoffrey...I sure hope you are."

Back at Ra's part time lair, he was flipping through the channels when he found the articles on the murders on his plane.

"WHAT!" he threw the remote at the TV

"He Master, that was a good-"

"Oh shut-up Ubu!"

"Sorry Master."

"What's wrong?" Strange asked not looking up from his work

"What's wrong...WHAT'S WRONG?" Ra's angrily entered the lab "I'll tell you what's wrong-THEY'RE DEAD!"

"Who's dead-"

"EVERYONE! Everyone on our plane-hell including our plane-all dead-D-E-A-D-DEAD! That-that Bat-Venom destroyed them all, including all from arkham, they're...all...DEAD!" Ra's kicked the wall in a little. He calmed down and turned to Strange "What in the hell have you done?"

"Relax, I'm nearly through with the anti-"

"Take ALL the time you need now Strange, cause our quest for global conquest is-like our crew and plane-DEAD!"

"Don't worry, we'll get this Bat-Venom once I finish the antidote, and I'll let you take the first whack at her." Strange smiled at Ra's.

"What does it matter, I'd be killing a lost cause, I have nothing to defend! I'm certain one of you two will do a fine job. [yawn] Well, this has been the unnofficial worst day of my life."

"Come now Master, I'm sure you've had worse."

"Shut-up Ubu, I'm watching some Freakazoid! And some Iron Chef and I'm going to bed, if you blokes want to continue with that silly antidote, by all means." Ra's plopped himself on the couch, "Far be it from me to hinder your obvious trivial pursuits."

The following afternoon, Trent was gearing up in his car to go to the ceremony, he decided to go in-cog-nito. As in as Trent Wayne.

"Hey." Bridgette said happily

"Hey, where have you been ever since I've been home I hardly see you."

"I've been...very busy. Uh, good luck, trying to catch her."

"Thanks, make sure to tell the others this situation is far too dangerous, I'm not losing anyone else, alright?"

"You bet."

"Good, hopefully I'll see you later." Trent drove away, the evil blonde put on an evil smirk.

"Sure hope you can withstand what I've devised...ha-ha-ha." she whispered, Bridgette turned around to see Alfred standing right in front of her "Whoa-oh, Alfred, you...you startled me."

"...So sorry Miss Bridgette." he said a tad cold.

"It's alright, now if you excuse me, I have a few things to do."

"Yes...yes of course." he watched her walk away "What are you up to Bridgette Gordon?" he whispered.

Down near city Hall, on Metzner Street, the procession was halted in front of the hall at the large stage where Hill would make his speech, all the key players had in ear pieces.

"Everything set?" Ham asked

"_Were tight mayor." a SWAT sniper said from a top an adjacent building_

"_Everything's good here." Commissioner Gordon said nearby._

"_My ends clear too." Montoya added_

"What about you Batman?"

"_Oh you know me, just...hanging around."_

"Perfect." Hill took to the stage. Trent remained in the crowd, looking for anyone or anything suspicious.

In the crowd, also in-cog-nito, Ra's, Hugo, and Ubu looked around for their girl.

"If you see any blond haired females doing anything out of the ordinary, feel free to strike them down." Ra's said.

"Relax boss, we'll find her, don't you worry." Hugo assured him

"I should hope so."

Trent noticed a familiar face in the crowd, one he hadn't seen in awhile.

"Dr. Steinreich?"

"Mr. Wayne, I trust your here for the funeral?"

"Well I'm certainly not here for the free shrimp." while they chewed the fat, Hill made his speech.

"It is a sad day in Gotham, for us to lose, two great people...so many in fact have fallen victim in the passed 24 hours as you've heard-"

. . .

"You know this Bat-Venom person is the work of an old colleague of mine, Hugo Strange, I was also a student of his." Steinreich explained

"Really?" Trent pretended to be interested, after all he knew the whole shpeal by now.

"Yeah, he was always obsessed with the workings of DNA scrambling, this sounds like it's right up his ally."

"You don't say."

. . .

"You know, I got a lot of gray hairs from that boy...Chef...Chef was...well let's face it he was a bit of hard to get to know guy." Hill paused, to look around "But let's be honest, like anyone else, he truly supported this city and what it stood for."

. . .

"Master?" Ubu asked

"What is it?"

"I don't think shes here."

"Oh shes here alright...she has to be."

. . .

"So, as we grieve the loss of these two great people let us all remember."

Back home, Bridgette looked at her watch, nearly noon.

"Showtime." she whispered.

And back at the ceremony

"That there is a little devil in all of us...this Bat-Venom just had a little more-I want everyone to be aware we are doing al we can to bring this woman to just-[dong-dong-dong]"

"Five O'clock." Trent whispered.

A quick pan to the other end of the street, a window shade opens, revealing an Intervention Sniper Rifle with an auto motion sensor, and auto loading capability, clearly another one of Bat-Venom's handiwork. A shot was fired [Bang]

"MAYOR!" Chris yelled, he leaped into action and threw Mayor Hill out of the way the bullet unfortunately got lodged into him.

"CHRIS!" Gil yelled

It was suddenly pandemonium, Trent knew he had to change. The auto loading auto firing rifle marked targets and shot em up like fish in a barrel.

"Whoa! Think it's about time I had a debut wouldn't you say?" Jack Ryder said to himself, he looked for a place to change too.

. . .

"Ugh?" Hill stood up to see Montoya and Gil see to Chris.

"Guys-guys, I'll-I-I-I'll be okay. Just tell Bridgette."

"Right now we gotta get you safe!" Hill ordered

"We'll take him back to the station-[whoa]" a bullet whizzed right passed Mason's head. "Too close."

"I'll say, just get Chris to the station, pronto!"

"Were on it!" Gil picked Chris up and threw him over his shoulders

"Whoa easy there Mason I'm not that limber."

"Shut-up! We'll get you to safety." Montoya followed Gil away from the path of fire, Hill went to go change himself.

Batman hid behind a car as a shot whizzed right by him, people were getting picked off left and right.

"Yo bats! Bats! Hey buddy!"

"Creeper! Get down!"

"Oh right!" he jumped downward. "So, what's the plan boss man?"

"I-I don't know." Batman looked across the street to see Steinreich

"Batman! Batman over here!"

"Erg...come on!" the two jumped and dashed through the kill zone, the Dark Knight tried to toss a Batarang at the rifle, but the long distance and blind shot caused him to miss. The two made it behind the cover.

"Well, I trust our Bat-Venom friend is behind this."

"No kidding. She is in there Steinreich, and I'm going to get her out."

"Well then." he transformed "Perhaps you will need some help ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Ew, what up with the face thing?" Creeper asked

"Mind your own business! Come on you guys, SWAT is mobilizing, they're gonna storm the building."

"Not smart." Batman said "There surely must be an easier way to get her out of there."

"Well I'm sure there is." Evil Hans said "But what's the use, they're already to go, and I'm gnna join them." he changed back

"Care to join me?"

"No."

"Well it appears were late anyway, those three gentlemen already got a head start." he pointed to the three familiar faces already in the kill zone jumping from cover to cover.

"Oh no."

Ra's, Hugo, and Ubu, were behind a large piece of debris.

"Alright, somehow, we have to disable that gun shes somehow controlling."

"Give me a rock Master, I'll get her out."

"Yeah right." Hugo rolled his eyes, he took the flask of the antidote from his lab coat. "But we have to-"

"Found one!" Ubu picked up a large piece of concrete, he stood up, Ra's suddenly realized that was a terrible idea

"NO-[bang]" Ubu hit the ground, right between the eyes

"UBU!"

"Loyal to the very end...what a pity."

"Hugo SHUT-UP! Ubu...he's...he's gone."

"But he provided the most excellent distraction!" Hugo ran through the kill zone with the antidote

"Hugo don't!"

"It's alright I'm-[bang]" the gun got him, and the antidote hit the hard pavement, the glass shattering everywhere rendering it useless

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Ra's looked around to see SWAT behind him, he felt the only thing to do was to run and wait.

Steinreich made it to the SWAT barricade yards from the front door, they were behind cover, but 60 or so yards separated them and the door, all of that being the kill zone.

"What do we do sir, that thing's gonna have us zeroed in?" A SWAT Operator asked the CO

"shut-up...J-JUST SHUT-UP I NEED TO THINK ABOUT THIS!"

"Well you better think fast Mac."

"What are we doing?" Steinreich asked "Were supposed to be tough dammit! I say we charge! The damn thing can't hit all of us can it?"

"What? Steinreich no!" Batman yelled

"No! Were doing this Batman! It's the only feasible way." he morphed

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! So, what do you say boys? Cause I say-LET'S GO GET THE BASTARD!"

"YEAH!"

"CHARGE!"

"No...N-NOOOOO!" Batman yelled

SWAT and Steinreich charged right into the kill zone, they managed to dodge most everything till they made it to their first cover point, 40 yards to go.

"Steinreich stop!" Batman yelled

"This is too crazy, even for me!" Creeper added

"I know it's crazy!" Evil Hans yelled, he briefly morphed back

"But dammit, it's so crazy it just might work!" he morphed again

"Come on brothers! Attack!"

"Damn I like this guy!"

"CHARGE!" Evil Hans went first, and the first bullet popped him

"UGH!"

"No!" Batman looked at the window, and had an idea. "Wait here, don't break anything!"

"Wait here? Can do! Don't break anything? No promises!" Creeper swore. "Wait, what are you doing?" he asked

"My own way!" he launched a Bat hook to the top of thw building and swung towards it, just as V-Bat landed next to Creeper

"What did I miss?"

"Hey, V-Bat old pal, what took ya?"

"Sorry I'm old-What's he doing?"

"My guess...something crazy."

"Yup...That's Batman alri-get down-[bang]-too close!"

Batman dodged bullets as he swung towards the window

"Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" CRASH!

He broke through and knocked the gun off the turret, rendering it useless.

Over at Wayne Manor, Bridgette was doing some evil meditating, when she was interrupted.

"Uh-knock-knock." Geoff rolled in

"Oh...hello Geoff, what can I do for you?"

"Uh, I was...just wondering-"

"Will this take long, I have something to do soon."

"Oh uh...just wanted to say later, when you have some free time, meet me in the cave will ya?"

"Uh...sure Geoff."

"Good, I love you." he gave her a kiss, a quick one

"Yeah, love you too, now could you-"

"Oh sure, need your privacy, I get that." he rolled away.

Back at the apartment, SWAT enetered as Batman did

"FREEZE!"

"Gotham Special Weapons and Tactics!"

"Don't anyone...aw!"

"Jeez!"

"He always beats us!"

"Well save your breath guys, shes not here."

"Shes not?"

"Why not?"

"Look, that turret was auto controlled that gun was working on it's own."

"Yeah, but I bet we know who put it there." V-Bat added swinging in

"You have any idea where this Venom will strike next?" an Operator asked

"I have no idea, but I reckon, it'll be something...something more important, even more so than Mayor Hill."

As Batman said this, we transfer back to Wayne Manor, the sun was setting, Bridgette exited her meditative state, and put on an evil smirk.

"Ha-ha-ha...it's time."

Outside, Batman and V-Bat looked over the dead.

"Hugo?"

"And I spotted Ubu over there, no Ra's."

"Figures, he's stood the damned test of time, but I'm certain he's around somewhere." Ra's listened in from where he was

"We should take Creeper and see to Chris at the station, to plan next."

"Good idea. You know suddenly, something about Bat-Venom's patterns seems like...it was an inside job, I think...I think that's what Alfred was trying to tell me." Batman pondered

"Well, what does that mean?"

"Oh hell if I know, come on, let's go see Chris."

"I'm coming. Creeper!"

"Huh?"

Saddle up let's go."

**Part 7 coming up next...very...very...DARK! You've been warned!**

**In other news, please review! And have a richful bounty day! **


	234. The MOVIE, Part VII

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Chapter 7: Diamonds Are a Bat's Best Friend**

Over at Wayne Manor, the sun was beginning to set. Everyone was preparing for dinner. Well sorta, Gwen poured herself a bowl of milk and sat at the nook, Heather made a TV dinner...from...uh-who makes TV dinners-Stouffers! She was having a Stouffers TV dinner.

"Yum, this certainly looks good." Heather said sarcastically.

"Hmm...milk." Gwen licked her lips.

"Uh, why is it in a...bowl?" Heather asked, she stopped herself to see Gwen start licking the milk. "What are...what are you doing?"

"Drinking my milk, you gotta problem with that?" Gwen asked, she started to lick the back of her right hand.

"Uh...Gwen you're-you're-"

"I'm what?"

"Uh...You're...oh hell you're acting like an actual cat!"

"Duh, side effect from an old antidote! Besides, I like it better this way." she shoved her head back inside the bowl.

"Ugh...I am surrounded by freaks." Heather sighed. "Why can't Alfred make us dinner?"

"Cause he's in the cave I think. I think his girlfriend is there too."

"Great, guess I'm stuck with this." Heather took a bite of some processed mac n cheese.

Bridgette walked down into the kitchen, and drank some milk directly from the carton.

"Hey!"

"Ever hear of a glass?"

"Yeah, I gotta drink that milk!" Gwen added sipping some from the bowl.

"Oh shut-up!" Bridgette sneered

"Hey, that's not nice!"

"You know Gwen you've developed a real attitude problem lately."

"You'll see an attitude problem Ghul! Soon-very soon, you'll see." She started to walk away from the kitchen "Everyone will."

"Well, someone's PMSing!" Heather called

"Geez, when she has it bad she really does have it bad." Gwen shrugged "Oh well." she began to lick up her milk

"Ugh, surrounded...by...freaks." Heather groaned.

Bridgette walked downstairs into the Bat-Cave, Alfred was going over some things on the Bat-Computer, while Rachel was behind the computer chair trying to be flirty.

"Come on Alfy, why can't we have some fuuuuuuuun?"

"Not until I go over a thing or two hon-bun."

"Look, I'm sure Trent will find this Bat-Venom, just relax."

"Somehow honey, I think; she might be right under our noses."

"Oh come on that's just silly."

"Somehow, I don't think so."

"Alfred, you're working too hard, take a break-look, things will get better soon, I promise."

"I only wish you were right Rachel...I really do." Bridgette turned back upstairs.

"If only you knew how right you were Alfred. If only you knew."

Upstairs, in the living room Cody and Sara were making out like Geoff and Bridgette normally make out.

"Mhmnmhmnmhm-mwah. Wow." Sara said taking a breather

"I know, 3 minutes 43 seconds."

"That's our personal best."

"Just proves how much I wuv you so much." Cody cooed.

"I know, I love you too Codykins."

"And I you Sara blossom, I you."

"Wanna kiss again?"

"YES!"

"Let's do it!"

"Mhmnmhmnmhmnm."

"Ugh." Bridgette shook her head and went for the stairs "Killing them would be doing the world a favor." she started up the stairs "A BIG favor."

Upstairs she ran into Geoff.

" Hey babe!"

"Not now!"

"But-our talk."

"Later Geoff-uh...Alfred and Rachel are there, wouldn't that spoil the moment?"

"Oh...y-yeah I guess it would, we'll talk later then. Okay?"

"Uh-yeah sure." he rolled off.

"We'll talk alright...except it will be with something sharp or a loaded gun." she whispered

She peered into Rebecca's room, she was reading a book...a really...a really big book.

"Hey champ, whatcha reading?" Bridgette asked trying to be as fake and polite as possible

"Crime and Punishment." Rebecca said dryly briefly looking over to see her

"Ah good book, Sun Tzu, great author."

"Uh...Fyodor Dostoyevsky wrote it." she said as if Bridgette should have known that

"Oh...yeah-he's good too." Bridgette sighed clearly not caring. Awkward silence "O-kay then, bye." she walked away, Rebecca rolled her eyes.

Bridgette made her way down the hall to where Jordan was, he was in his room while Jason was trying to be entertained by his feats of magic.

"Come on Jordan."

"No-no, I promise, this ones good."

"But I've already seen all your magic tricks...TWICE!"

"No-no-no I swear Jas, this ones brandy new!"

"Jordan, unless you're swallowing a pile of swards, I'm not interested."

"Funny you should say that, cause that's exactly what I'm gonna do!" he took a few daggers from a rack.

"Oh, well not you've suddenly peaked my interest."

"I thought I would."

Bridgette ducked her head out of the doorway and took a deep breath

"Okay...time to destroy everything Trent holds near and dear...and then I'll destroy him, and I know the perfect place, heh-heh-heh-heh." she took out a small diamond from her pocket. She then entered the room, with her trademarked evil smirk.

"Hey guys!"

"Hey Bridgette!"

"Wanna see me swallow some knives, it'll be cool."

"Speaking of knives Jordo...those look pretty neat, wanna see a few tricks of my own?"

"Really, you got a few?"

"Oh, I've got several alright."

Over at the police station, Chris was laid up on a bed in the infirmary, not too happy, V-Bat and Batman stood above him, Courtney and Gil were also in the room. The doctor was one of the few Chris trusted, his own father.

"Erg! Dammit!"

"Son stop wriggling will ya, leaping lizards you jump more than a murderer when the police are at his house!" Jim said sewing up his son's shoulder injury.

"Will you quit it with the freaking cop puns! For God's sake you've been at em ever since I was a kid!"

"Cause I was a cop you idiot! Relax, were almost done!" Jim briefly turned to the others "So, who in the hell is this-t-this Bat-Venom I keep hearing so much about? Huh?"

"Pure evil." Batman simply said

"Scoff...that narrows it down." Jim mused sarcastically.

"All we know Mr. Gordon is it's clearly someone who truly despises this town, Batman, and all things nice and good." Gil added

"And...perhaps someone who was close to Batman." Courtney added

"That too could be a possibility." V-Bat pondered "But who?"

"You two are the greatest detectives in the world-FIGURE IT THE FUCK OUT, AND MAKE IT SNAPPY!"

"We'll get her Chris, don't wor-"

"Why are you all still here when you could be out there trying to put Bat-f*cker in her grave! I'm tired of this cut and dry bullsh*t I want her found and I want her found now I wanna-I wanna-I-"

"Christian! Dammit son you keep wriggling like this I'm gonna end up stabbing you with the needle, just relax." Jim coerced him "Relax."

"We'll get right to it now Chris." V-Bat said they started for the door.

"Just let me say this...whoever that person is...I want em dead! Dead you hear me! Dead! I want their family dead! I want her father dead! Slapped in the face first, then I want him dead! If they have a dog I want that dog dead! I wanna see them cry! Then I want you to rip their lungs from their body, then I want you to make em eat them! I want to see them bleed through their eye-sockets, and then butcher their body, like fresh veal!"

"COMMISSIONER!" everyone yelled

"As evil as this person is Chris, I couldn't kill them."

"Well why the f*ck not?" The Commissioner asked

"Cause it's against our policy." V-Bat added

"Nothing anyone can do could make me kill someone...I made a vow." Batman said

"Ha! Well I challenge you to find the one thing that will!" Chris yelled

"It will never happen Chris. It never will." they left the informary

"No ones perfect Batman! Sooner or later they snap...please! Even if it's just to wipe out that...that worhtless little-"

"Chris! SHUT-UP!"

"Sorry Dad."

"Come to my office guys, we can plan out next move there." Gil said

"Alright."

"Excuse me, uh everyone." An officer called

"Yes, what is it?" Courtney asked

"A Mr. Fox is here to see the Batmen?" he asked confused

"Send him to my office." Gil insisted "Let's go guys."

Over to Wayne Manor everyone not in the Bat-Cave heard a blood curdling scream

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

"You hear that?"

"I sure did!"

"It came from Jordan's room!"

"Come on let's go see!"

"Jordan!"

"Jason!"

"Jordan!" They ran up into the room to see

"Oh my God!"

"What the hell?"

Jason and Jordan were slashed to death. Bridgette knelt beside them, what a good actor she was.

"Their...their dead...murdered!" she sobbed

"But...but how?"

"Holy-[VOMITS]" Cody vomited

"Cody! Cody, you okay?" Sara asked

"N-cough-cough-NO! MT BROTHERS DEAD DAMMIT! Whoever did this...is gonna pay!"

"I'll tell you who!" Bridgette stood up "It was Bat-Venom!"

"Of course!"

"Who else would it be!"

"I am sick, and I', tired...of...her ruining everything!" Cody yelled "Well now shes gone too far!"

"Maybe shes still in the house?" Sara asked

"Maybe...we should split up?" Bridgette suggested

"Good idea, let's go."

"Were coming for ya sicko!" Geoff yelled they departed from the room, Bridgette smirked

"Like sheep to the slaughter...hmm-hmm-hmm-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-Aha-ha-ha-ha!"

Bridgette took one of the knives, and caught up with Gwen in another corridor.

"Number three." Bridgette smirked she approached the kitty. "Hey Gwen."

"Find anything?" Gwen asked

"You could say that."

"Well quit being moody and vague, you know that's Trent's job."

"Yeah, don't I know it!"

"MMM!" Bridgette quickly muffed Gwen and plunged the dagger into her back

"Sleep tight kitty-kitty, ha-ha-ha." she dropped her

"GASP!" long enough for Rebecca to see.

"Uh, sorry you had to see that."

"No...no-no-NO!"

"It's alright, you'll join your mother very soon."

Elsewhere in the house Ex was with Cody, she closed the door behind them, they were unaware of who was already in the room.

"Where do you suppose she is?" he asked

"Who knows...hell for all we know she could have escaped by now or...something like that."

"Yeah...but boy when I find her...I...I might even...no, I couldn't even think of that!"

"I know your upset Cody...I know what will make you feel better."

"What?"

"This." she pulled him in close, and removed her mask

"Hmm, yeah that might work." suddenly the light came on and the figure was clapping

"Bridgette?"

"Lovebirds to the very end...too bad it can't last."

"GASP!"

"You mean...you're the-"

"But hey, at least you have each other right?"

Next on the chopping block we have...uh...gimme a sec-Heather! Yeah Heather, she...was near the kitchen.

"Ugh! This search is taking us nowhere. Why-oh-why did we stowaway on my beloved's plane! This never would have heppened!"

"I dunno-"

"Gasp!"

"You would have lived longer."

"Bridgette, is that you?"

"Maybe. Come closer I'll show you."

"Ugh." she started walking until she saw Bridgette and her bloody dagger "You...y-your the-"

"That's right, man everyone seems to be good at guessing today!"

And last but certainly not least, Geoff. Bridgette confronted him in the living room.

"Geoff!"

"Bridge?"

"Still wanna talk, huh?"

"What the hell are you doing over there for?"

"Cause...look, I know you've been beating around the bush that you wanna marry me right?"

"Well...kinda-you knew?"

"Oh please, you were always a lousy liar."

"So...you know, will you?"

"Oh...what's the word I'm looking for...no."

"No, why?"

"Why...isn't that funny, cause why...rhyms with, DIE!" she came into the light

"No...so Alfred was right."

"Yeah, you should have listened to him Geoff, you might have lived longer."

"No...NO!"

Alfred and Rachel were still in the Bat-Cave, totally oblivious to the situation unfolding upstairs, that is until Geoff called

"_Alfred!"_

"Yes Master Geoffrey?"

"_You were right! It's Bridgette, shes killing everyone! I'm-[shing]"_

"Gasp!"

"_Your next Alfy! I'm coming for ya! Ha-ha-ha-ha!"_

"No...Rachel my dear, find a place to hide, I'm taking her out myself!"

"Not without me you're not!"

"Alright then, we still need to find a place to attack while we have the element of-"

"SURPRISE!" Bat-Venom appeared on the staircase.

Over at the station the Bats were making a plan, when this happened, because the Bat-Cave could connect to every television like Bridgette had done before, she took this to her advantage.

"Hey, I didn't turn my TV on." Gil said confused

"_Attention, people of Gotham!"_

"It's Bat-Venom."

"_Just me, calling to let you all know by tomorrow this city will be mine, but; before I leave you with that, just wanted to clear the air with one thing. She took her cowl off "I am Bridgette Gordon."_

"GASP!"

"_And that Batman you all know and love, is just that slob Trent Wayne, Ham Hill is the other guy. That is all Gotham, have a pleasant evening." _

"That's it, it ends!"

"You're Trent Wayne?" Courtney asked

"I knew it! Well not really." Creeper shrugged

"Wait a minute...that was another broadcast."

"YEAH NO SHIT!" Batman yelled enraged

"Think Trent, where could she have made that broadcast?"

"Well city hall." Batman said

"I would have known...what about the Bat-Cave."

"Sure...but if that transmission was made from the Bat-Cave that could only lead her to...home."

"Oh no!" the two ran from Gil's office just as Lucius entered

"What did I miss?"

The two were home lickedy-split, they ran inside to see it was burning.

"GUYS!"

"JORDAN!" they ran through the burning house, lots of blood, no bodies

"GUYS!"

"JORDAN!"

"ALFRED! GEOFF!"

"JORDAN!"

"The Bat-Cave!" they ran to the study

"Erg, the stairs are blocked! The elevator." the elevator took them to the main cave floor, the door refused to open but the window on the elevator door made sure they saw everything. Bat-Venom had Alfred tied to the computer chair. The whole cave was destroyed.

"BRIDGETTE!"

"I should just have let Phantasm drowned you."

"Yeah...maybe you should have."

"It was against my better judgment."

"Pity you can't see forward in time."

"No! NOOOO!"

"Tell me what heaven's like will ya? I ain't going there." she pointed the gun at his chest

"ALFRED! NOOOO!"

"Adios Alfy. Any last words."

"Go to hell."

"I just said I was, what part of that didn't you get? Oh well-[bang]"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" a cloud of smoke appeared, and Bat-Venom disappeared with it.

"Alfred!" the door opened on cue, and the two ran in.

"Jordan...JORDAN!"

"Alfred!" Batman ran over to his dying butler

"Master Trent."

"Alfred, it's okay! Everything's gonna be okay-"

"No...no it's not, I'm dying."

"No, I can get you to a-"

"Trent listen to me...my time here is up...73 years...that's a good run. Look...I was there to see your birth...I watched you grow up...hell-the only thing I seemed to miss, was your parents murder...Your vow...In my dying words you must grant me this wish Master Trent...kill her...make her truly pay for what she did...to everyone...everything...I know you promised to never kill...but what will prison solve. I had told you...there are those who want to watch and see the world burn...well for whatever Godforsaken reason, Bridgette Gordon has become one of those people...you must get rid of her...strike her down with...every last ounce you have left in you...Trent...do this for me...do this...for your city...do this...for you. If you...let her to roam free...more...and more shall suffer at her evil little hands. I...simply cannot let that happen...though unfortunately...I cannot do much to stop her...But you can...you must...you...and Hamilton...must get rid of her...restore peace and integrity to this lost city...restore...peace. Before I go...i just want you to know...no matter what happens, I'll be there...to watch...over you...I promised your parents that...so even in death shall I carry it out...I never got to tell you this...because I didn't know how to say it...you know how I am...but always know that no matter what happens...never...ever...ever...quit...don't give up...complete the mission you have sought after for all these years...get rid of her...do not...let the world...burn...because of her...Godspeed my son...God-cough-cough-cough-speed..." flatline

"Alfred...Alfred...ALFRED! NO-NO-NO-NO! NOOOOOOOO!" Trent stood up sobbing "So that's it, he's really gone." Trent turned to V-Bat, holding his dead son, and sobbing, everyone else was lined up in a row, like a morgue...smelled like one two.

"Jordan...no...I should never have left you...never got to tell you...no...no...noooooooo."

" _I challenge you to find the one thing that will!" _Chris echoed in his head. Batman tugged on V-Bat's cape

"Come on...we have to get back, it'll only depress us to stay here."

"Yeah...you're right." he gently left Jordan on the ground.

Back at the station suddenly, a bomb exploded in the main lobby

Ka-booooooooooooooom!

"Jeez!"

"What the hell was that?"

"Who do you think!"

"Oh God!"

"Shes here!" Gil yelled

"Where do you think shes headed?" Lucius asked

"Oh God, the Commissioner!" Courtney shouted

"To the infirmary!"

"Where's Creeper!"

"Who knows, come on, we have to protect him." they ran out.

Creeper was in fact in the local restroom taking a whiz.

In the infirmary. Jim and Chris were still dumbfounded at the previous broadcast

"I-I can't believe it."

"I know son."

"My little girl."

"I know."

"why would she do this?"

"Cause!"

"GASP!"

"Maybe I was just too tired of being the good girl." she raised a shotgun

"Bridgette don't you even-[blam]"

"DAD!"

"That's for making me come to that stupid dinner of yours Grandpa! As for you daddy."

"Bridge...Bridge...no...NO! Stop, think about what you've become!"

"It's an improvement!"

"Shes this way!"

"In here!" she heard their voices outside

"Oh goodie, luckily I planned for this!" Outside Lucius and Courtney were about to run in when they hit a mine which killed them both

"Wait I think-[ka-boom]"

"Gah!" the shockwave knocked Gil off his feet.

"That's more like it. Now where was I...oh yeah, sorry Daddy, nothing personal, but I have to destroy everything Batman holds near and dear...even if it is you."

"But I...I loved you."

"Yeah, I loved you too-[blam]" she turned to walk away, she saw Gil trembling on the ground

"Just be happy I'm out of shells!" she walked away realizing her shotgun was out of ammo, and she brought no other weapons with her "Give Bat-Breath this for me, so he knows where to find me...tell him I'll be waiting...Commissioner Mason." she walked away laughing. But not soon before long Creeper showed up

"What did I miss-oh...I should say I missed a lot."

The Batmen were there, they noticed the Bat-Signal.

"Jeez, looks like a bomb." Batman said noticing the exploded first floor.

"Yeah, and were wanted upstairs."

They launched themselves to the roof, to see Creeper and Gil.

"What's wrong Vice Commissioner?" Batman asked

"It's Commissioner now...she killed him..Lucius...Courtney...Jim too...all gone."

"THAT TEARS IT!" V-Bat yelled "She has to be stopped! NOW!"

"She did leave this for you guys." Creeper tossed them the diamond.

"A diamond?"

"There were...two more...by Jordan's body."

"That can only point to one place-"

"The diamond exchange." came a familiar voice

"WHOSE THERE!"

"Relax Detective. I share your pain as well...my crew...my daughter...all gone."

"So that's it then...we all share the same goal don't we?" Gil asked "Just goes to show, how far will someone go to get rid of something they hate."

"Yeah...s-she...there's only one thing we can do." Batman began "We have to kill her."

"With what?" Ra's asked

"At the Bat-Cave, I have an arsenal, it's mostly Sara's weapons...all military grade, body armor too."

"I'll send for a truck." Gil said "So we can ride in quickly."

"She'll be waiting for us you know." Ra's said

"Yeah...but at least will be ready."

**Alright, it's time for the dramatic conclusion, also the FINAL CHAPTER! To Total drama Batman! Alright you guys, read and review! Cause were nearly done...and the ending...will...shock all of you! Stay tuned!**


	235. The MOVIE, Part VIII

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Chapter 8: Stairway to Hell**

Let me just say that after playing the ending for Call of Duty Modern Warfare 7, I was salivating over how to use that ending for TDB, and boy was this the perfect way in which to do it. Which is saying a lot cause I got the game when it came out in November, where the hell were we then? Season 3? 4? Alright I've ranted long enough, enjoy the dramatic Call of duty inspired conclusion to the greatest niko56 story ever told.

. . .

In an automated van, the five sat in the back ready to take on the scourge of Bat-Venom at the place where diamonds are exchanged.

"Okay, everyone set?" Batman asked

"Yup."

"I'm ready."

"All is good here Detective."

"Ready to rock and roll chief!"

"Gil, how far out are we?"

"Let's see." Gil looked out one of the small side windows "I'd say about 4 minutes out."

"Alright." let the awkward silence begin.

Each man was decked out in military grade Dragonskin(TM) brand Kevlar plating underneath what they were wearing. This type of Kevlar could stop a 30-06 round, which is the standard 5.6mm assault rifle ammo (AR-15, AK-47, 552 Commando, M-4, M-16, AKS-74U) and other standard rifles. In doing so one can still be mobile and unharmed, it's been said this type can also stop the dreaded 50 caliber round, however one would still go into shock.

Each man carried three weapons. One main, a sub-machine gun or back-up, and a pistol.

Ra's carried the deadly military Spec-ops grade SCAR-H assault rifle. A deadly combination of durability and damage. He also carried the International policeman's standard MP5 sub-machine gun with dual clip magazines for quick loading. As a sidearm, he used a custom designed Colt Peacemaker.

"Gentlemen, not that I am one to be pessimistic, but this may be the last time we all see each other. I don't want to dwell on anything or live with regrets so I'll just say it. No matter what happens, life or death, we go down fighting. And hell, maybe we'll take her down with us. As crazy as it may seem hope might still be in our grasp." he looked up "Trent, you are a most worthy adversary, and in all the years we've grown to despise each other...it would be my greatest honor to fight alongside you."

"Thank you Ra's...that's very man of you."

Creeper basically had on his skimpy costume, that was covered by the armor plating. He decided for the big daddy M-60 Light Machine Gun, fully auto, chain fed. He also sprung for the MP5, and dual Glok 18 machine pistols with extended mags.

"Gentlemen." he said in a stereotypical southern military drawl "I was once a normal feller like yourselves once upon a time. Then this man by the name a Joker showed up, and that as they say, was history. I would be delighted to give up myself as a crime fighter/news reporter if it means the safety of the citizens of Gotham, anyone have any opinions to that?" their heads shook "Good."

Gil had his armor on under his trenchcoat shirt and pants, much like Ra's had his armor. Gil was decked out in the "Bullpup" L86A1 Light Machine gun with 100 round beta clips (two clips holding 50 rounds a piece) The Vector sub-machine gun, and his standard police issue Glok 16 pistol.

"You know...Three days ago I gave this girl a map to the city. It was our map which shows gang territory and where they hang out. This is a privilege usually reserved for you Batman but since you were out of town I thought I was giving it to a person who could keep it in good hands. Clearly I was mistaken, cause that person I gave that map to was Bridgette Gordon. It's three days later. I'm exhausted, traumatized, pissed off, and ready to ice that bitch."

Over to V-Bat. He attached his armor right to his outfit. His primary weapon was the mack daddy! The M249 SAW Light Machine gun, with his secondary weapon being the Benelli M4 Super 90 combat tactical semi-automatic shotgun! Man! That's a mouthful. His pistol was the Raging Bull S&W .44 Magnum.

"When I first put on this uniform, I promised myself it would never come to this. I guess 20 some years later, I was sorely mistaken. But, up until now, it was a good choice...I helped people...saved people...it wasn't just a pact I had made, it was a sense of pride-a sense that...maybe things would come out for the better. My wife called that happiness. I always thought it was just a stupid made-up word, so some life coach, self-help book novelist, or...shrink could sit behind a desk to look and feel important, like they accomplished something...if we do reach our accomplishment today, I won't feel happy...simply satisfied...and hardly that considering."

And not for the title character. Batman had his armor on much like V-Bat did. He too was rocking the SAW. Though as a side weapon he chose the rather annoyingly deadly UMP-45 sub-machine gun, and chose the Desert Eagle as a side pistol.

"The last words Commissioner Christian McLean Gordon said to me was...I challenge you to find the one thing to make you want to kill. No more than 10 minutes later...I found that reason. Alfred Pennyworth raised me from when I was born, to his death several hours ago. And watched him die...I watched him suffer...and I saw the person who killed him...It's deja vu all over again. Except this time I was helpless for a completely different reason. So...if Chris were here to say I told you so...I'm sure he would have...I'm so sure he would have."

Suddenly the van stopped. V-Bat looked out the back door window

"Were here."

Atop the restaurant level, Bat-Venom saw the van pull up. Keep in mind the building is 60+ stories high. She had hired a high security detail including not one, but two escape choppers on the sly. Her first wave had surrounded the back of the truck.

"Miss Venom, it seems we have uninvited guests."

"So it appears Makarov, are those hostages ready?"

"Yes of course." he turned to see a tied up Roland Dagget, Clayface, and Firefly. (The only villains I seem to have forgotten)

"You're not getting away with this Bat...whatever!" Dagget sneered

"You'll soon see that I will." she noticed Clayface struggled "Struggle all you want Hagen, but you're no match for those chains, you can't even morph either...yeah, I thought of everything."

"Yeah well...well...we-well...I got nothing." she sighed

"Someone will stop you Bat-Venom...like my Codykins!"

"You know Sierra I was hoping you'd say something like that."

"Why?"

"Cause I killed him." she said sweetly

"WHAT! YOU-YOU MONSTER!" she kicked a little, like it did her any good.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Hey! Cut it out!" Dagget ordered

"shes right you know! You are a monster!"

"Sticks and stones...let's just hope the Bats are quick enough to save you all..." she walked back towards the window "Not like they will be anyway."

Back down below.

"Looks like Bridge sprang for a security team. But at least we know she ain't leaving through the front." V-Bat said.

"Come out of that truck! Or you will be shot!"

"Gentlemen wait."

"What?"

Ra's took several items from his pocket

"Victory cigars, given to me by George Washington after the American Victory at the battle of Yorktown. Save it for your victory he told me...tonight gentlemen, that night is ours."

"Now, this, I like." Creeper smiled" Creeper yelled

"So, what do we do?" Gil asked

"Any ideas?" Ra's asked

"Ah, who needs a convoluted plan, with; multiple contingencies and safety nets so no one gets hurt? Half-baked plans got us to 109 episodes, 5 Emmy's, and a movie!"

"Creeper!"

"What are you doing?"

"Just follow me gents! GERONIMO!" Creeper leaped from the van catching the team by surprise, Gil and Ra's followed suit by knocking over the team, they hid behind an SUV the security team came from.

"Come on!" Ra's ordered to the hesitant duo.

"Well?" V-Bat asked

"Lead the way old timer!" V-Bat smirked, and the two ran in guns a blazing

They fired their first shots, hitting their mark. The five jumped behind the SUV, two more cruisers came from the entrance, headed their way.

"Hang on I got this!" Gil aimed, and took out the driver -[bang-screeeeeech]"

"Whoa!"

"Hey!"

"Lookout!" CRASH

"Ha! That's how I roll!"

"Kill the formalities Mason, there's still another!" Ra's reminded him, several security guards exited the other SUV!

"Get rid of them!" Batman yelled. The team iced the tangos with deadly precision

"Two more!" Batman yelled

"I got em!" Creeper left cover

"Creeper!"

"Get back here!"

"It's okay I got this! Hey fellas, say hello to my BIG friend! Ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Watch out-unh."

"Roddy-gah-crap!"

"And were free to move up!"

"Let's go! Let's go!" Gil yelled totally pumped

They ran under the roof porte croche. The building also served as a lavish hotel. From the lobby a wave of tangos ran out.

"Whoa!"

"We got hostiles!"

"Hostiles, what is this call of duty?" Batman asked

"It might be!" V-Bat snapped

KOOSH!

"RPG!"

"Second floor!"

"Take cover!" they jumped behind whatever they could while the RPG teams who fired from the second floor windows tried to pick them off/

"Creeper!" Batman yelled

"Yup?"

"Now would be a good time for one of your crazy ideas!" Ra's yelled

"Got any?" Gil asked

"Uh, just one." Creeper left cover and started to shoot "Quick get em before I'm cornmeal!"

"Got it!" the team fired upstairs taking out the RPG shooters distracted with Creeper.

"Let's go!" Batman moved up, and with one wave, wiped out the crew in the lobby. "Gentlemen, after you."

"How polite of you Detective."

They entered the lavish lobby of the office building/hotel. The front desk was in the middle while a waterfall was above, two escalators were to either side of that, which was the only way to the next floor, and since the second floor had a circle wrap around balcony, they were sitting ducks as long as they stayed downstairs.

"Were sitting ducks down here."

"No sh*t Gil." suddenly a familiar voice was boomed over a loud speaker

"_Welcome to Bat-Venom's House of Pain, where you will all shortly meet your untimely demise."_

"WHERE ARE YOU?" Batman yelled

"_Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Silly Batman, I'm on the restaurant level, top floor. You want me, find me...I'll be waiting."_

"We can handle whatever you've got to throw at us Gordon!" Ra's yelled

"Don't think were going lightly...you're security detail outta know that by now!" V-Bat added

"_Luckily I prepared for this...much like an old victim of mine, I too enjoy the TWO part plan. On the other side of this floor sits three hostages. Say hi guys!"_

"_Batman!"_

"_Help us!"_

"_Did she really kill Codykins?"_

"_Clayface...Dagget...Firefly, ask yourself this, are any of these three worthless piles of filth more to you then my capture-or even better-death? You'll have to decide, but the clock's a ticking you have 5 minutes before a bomb goes off in the lounge, and they will be blown allllllllll the way down to the second floor...surely meeting a gruesome fate. But by the time you have time to think, I'll be long gone, leaving in style, to find a new city to destroy. Tick...tock...tick...tock...tick...tock-[end transmission]"_

"...I should have met Hugo years ago so I could kill him!" Ra's boomed "This never would have happened if it wasn't for that-t-that-that blasted formula of his!"

"WHAT!"

"You mean the stuff that made Harley go psycho?" Batman asked

"Only this one was worse."

"Well, at least we know why shes acting this way, though it's too late to save her...we have to finish what we started."

"Agreed-huh?" suddenly, several grenades plopped down from the escalators.

"GRENADES!"

"Everyone take cover!" Batman took out a few exploding Batarangs and tossed them at the grenades, blowing them up. "Everyone follow me! Up the stairs let's go!" they zoomed up the escalators taking out several more security men on their way, their armor still protecting them.

"Come on to the elevators let's go!"

"More gunners!" they took cover

"Alright boys, polish these Bat-Vermin off!"

"Sh*t. They got shields!" Creeper yelled

"Yeah, I got this!" V-Bat fired his shotgun which blew the shields away, making shooting that much easier.

"Come on-come-on-SHOOT EM!"

"Oh sh-[rapid fire]-unh."

"Will there be anymore distractions?" Ra's asked the pile of dead bodies "I figured as much, come on everyone this way...Creeper?" he looked at Creeper, who was looking up

From the second floor the middle of the building on up was a giant abyss, Creeper could see right though the glass center roof which has been broken through a few times through the course of this show.

"whew...long way down."

"Yes, and it's a long way up too, and time is something we don't have, so let's move it!" Ra's ordered

"Huh? Oh right-right!" the crew piled themselves into the elevator.

"Restaurant and lounge floor Detective." Ra's reminded him

"I know which button to press." Batman snapped. They started to ride to the top.

It was a glass elevator, open to the outside on three sides, another elevator was to their right. They started for the top floor.

"Hmm...I like elevator music." Creeper smiled "It's got a nice ring to it." he started to whistle.

"Erg...three minutes." Batman sneered looking at his watch

"We'll make it, don't worry." V-Bat assured him.

"We have her cornered, how the hells she getting out of here?" Gil asked

"Uh, that answer your question Gil?" V-Bat pointed outside, a small fighting helicopter was keeping pace with them.

"Oh sh*t-"

"Get down!" they quickly sprawled as the chopper fired, sending glass shrapnel everywhere.

"Kill it!"

"I got it!" Batman and Creeper fired at the chopper, knocking out the motor and the driver.

"Yes!"

"Nice shots!"

"Eh, not quite." Ra's noticed. The helicopter was being sent right for them

"HOLD ON!" the chopper crashed to the top of the lift, not harming them cause of the armor.

"Great!"

"Uh, this armor's no use! It's only gonna slow us down now!" they quickly threw the heavy Kevlar plates off of them

"Hey look!"

"The other elevator!"

"It's going up!"

"Yeah, so are we!" Batman fired at the glass as it went up. "come on we only got one shot at this!"

"JUMP FOR IT!" four of them leaped into the lift gracefully, Gil was the last, and not so lucky, he missed.

"GIL!" he saw Gil had barely one hand on the second lift, several glass shards were in his neck.

"Gil, let me pull you up!" Batman offered him his hand.

"No...it's t-too late for me, I'd just slow yous down."

"Gil we can-"

"No...it's time I started acting tough...like a man should...hey, hey Bats, when yous gotta meet the president for this...mention me will ya?" he let go

"GILLLLLLL!" there was no time to morn

"I know it's a loss, but stack up! We have but 2 minutes 10 seconds!" Ra's reminded them.

"Yeah-yeah right." the elevator door opened, and the team was greeted by a mass of tangos

"AHHHHHH!"

"THIS ONES FOR MASON!"

. . .

"Miss Venom?"

"What is is Makarov?"

"The chopper shes down and-[rapid fire]"

"I think we have more pressing matters to attend to."

"Thankfully, another is on it's way, and I have news, they've taken a casualty...uh, Mason."

"Humph, figures, oh well, get ready to move on my signal."

"Yes ma'am."

. . .

"Come on!" they came to the intersection.

"There she is!" Between them and Bat-Venom was the the middle abyss...60 floors down. To their left was the sky lounge, then the restaurant/bar where Bat-Venom was on the other side, to their right was the regular lounge, where the three hostages were kept.

"Well-well-well...so this is how it ends huh?" she asked "Hmm, seems Hogan is missing a hero-ha-ha-ha-ha, oh come on you gotta admit that one was funny."

"YOU'RE SICK!"

"Tee-hee." Creeper did a slight chuckle. "Oh gimme a break, it's...comic relief?"

"Enough! You must choose Batman, me? Or them."

"PLEASE!"

"Batman help us!"

"PLEEEEEEASE!"

"One minute and counting, tick-tick-tick!"

"We'll go after Bridgette, you guys go after the bomb!" V-Bat ordered Ra's and Creeper

"Can do!"

"Roger Wilco!"

"You ready?" V-Bat asked Batman

"Let's finish this!"

They sprinted through the sky lounge icing as many as they could, while Creeper and Ra's found themselves pinned down

"Erg! They got us pinned real good they do!" Ra's yelled "We'll never save them this way, we have less than 30 seconds!"

"HELP!"

"HELP US!"

"You know Ra's...i may have one final horrah left in me to take em." he took out the dual Glok's. "Hope your bomb defusing skills are good demon...cause mine will be useless."

"Creeper Wait!"

"AHHHHHHH!" Creeper ran in blasting them all down in his path. Ra's opened his eyes to see a cleared pathway

"Ha-ha, he did it!"

"Yeah-I-I-I did!" Creeper turned around, his chest was riddled with bullets "I-I-oh boy." he hit the ground with a thud.

Again Ra's had no time to mourn, he quickly ran to the bomb.

"There goes the craziest person in the world!" Dagget said "God bless him!"

"You'll save us right?" Clayface asked

"If you shut-up!" Ra's jeered trying to defuse the bomb "10 seconds."

"Hurry-"

"I'M TRYING DAMMIT!" Ra's tore the timer delay cap from the bomb "Ha got it!"

"RA'S!" Batman called from the distance.

"Detective it's alright I've done it!"

"Ra's! THAT'S THE BLSTING CAP!"

"Oh shi-[BOOM]"

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" their voices trailed off, as they were blown to the bottom.

"Whew...and so ends the 600 something dynasty of Ra's Al Ghul...a giant-ass fall." Bat-Venom shook her head.

"Come on! We'll mourn later! Shes dead ahead!"

"I'm right behind ya!" Batman followed V-Bat, as the other chopper flew right outside.

"Oh goodie, my ride!"

"V-BAT LOOK OUT!"

[boom-boom-boom]

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

It's missiles fired, taking the restaurant side off kilter, it started to fall towards the outside as it's windows broke, Batman almost went with it, but was able to grab on to a steel cable, one of many holding it all in place, though his two main weapons fell to the outside, then down to the bottom.

"Whoa, that's a long f-V-BAT!" he looked up to see V-Bat, impaled by a piece of piping.

"Just...go...get her...do it for me."

"But-"

"GO! Let me see Jordan again, and Maria. I'm coming guys, I'm coming."

"I'll miss you Hamilton Hill." Batman sprinted through the rubble and out towards the roof, the helicopter was ready for take off. Batman quickly sprinted to the helipad and grabbed hold of the landing gear "AHHHHHHHHH!"

"Dammit! It's him!"

"So get him off!"

"NO!" Batman climbed up, and literally threw the pilot overboard

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"No you don't the next one he struggled with, he drew a gun, Batman's quick reflexes allowed him to send the shots forward...to the gears, which made the bird go haywire. He pushed the co-pilot off

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

But Batman couldn't control the helicopter, and it headed back to the roof

CRASH

Trent's Cowl had been torn away, he was bleeding, and starring right through the glass roof to the bottom. The roof cracked, he looked up. In front of him was the burning chopper about 20 yards out, then dead center of the roof, was Trent's desert eagle, painfully, he started to crawl towards it, but Bridgette walked out of the wreckage, and saw the same idea, just as Trent got to the gun, she stepped on his hand, and grabbed it, Trent looked toast.

"Goodbye Batman-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-[bang-bang-bang]"

Trent thought he was finished, nope, it was V-Bat, who through his last bit of energy, fired on Bridgette getting a shot on her leg

"AH!"

"No! You're not gonna-[bang-bang]-unh!" she finished him off! This gave Batman plenty of time to make a move

"GRUNT!" he plunged Bridgette to the roof, and tied the choppers steel cable around her neck. You know where this is going.

"GRUNT!" he slammed Bridgette's head into the roof, cracking it

"Very good." she said weakly "Use your anger, forget the goodie two shoes you once were...become me."

"This ain't Star Wars." Batman said dryly before shoving her head down again

"You know...I thought Alfred was gonna cry."

"GRUNT!"

"Since I already took all the good from you...maybe I should have went back in time...killed Chill and your parents."

"GRUNT!"

"And...maybe even you too-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"No...More...It's time-GRUNT...You felt-GRUNT...the hand of-GRUNT...JUSTICEEEE!"

"CRASH!

With one final thrust the lass broke. Trent swung Bridgette until he could leap off and into the lounge and not fall down.

"Gah!" right into some glass. He turned to see Bridgette just hanging there. "It's finally over." Trent took out his victory cigar and lit it, he watched as the sirens of the police drew close. "Victory...at last."

**End simulation-E-E-End simulation End simulat...[malfunction]**

"...Well that sucked!" Nault jeered

"Yeah we die, what a load of horsesh*t!" Lock-Up added.

"I agree Hugo." Ra's added "I would never disarm a bomb so carelessly, nor would I ever ally myself with the Detective."

They were in the small lounge in Ra's Plane. Nault and Lock-Up sat at a table, while Ra's chose a close spot by the door.

"Gentlemen, this was just a simulation." Hugo said

"Well it was stupid!" Nault added

"Yeah, come we die...not even halfway through."

"What was the point of this Hugo, other than to stall for time until we reach England?" Ra's asked. Hugo took out the vile of the formula.

"Gentlemen, I decided to run a control simulation, to see what would happen should me formula get into the wrong hands. Clearly as you saw, the result was not pretty."

"no sh*t."

"And it was totally unrealistic too! Come on Trent Wayne Batman, gimme a break!" Nault stood up

"Yes...quite weird." Ra's said sarcastically.

"Let's go get some chow." Lock-Up suggested

"Sounds good to me man." Nault followed him out.

"So Hugo, what did this...simulation tell you?" Ra's asked

"That clearly, this stuff must be destroyed, never to be used again." he reluctantly poured the formula into a flask of pure alcohol and carbon sulfate, rendering it useless.

"Humph, I could have told you that, come on, we land at Heathrow within the hour. And by the way, I smoked those cigars eons ago." Ra's exited.

"Hmm...maybe that simulation wasn't all the bullsh*t it appeared to be...oh well." Hugo turned off the television and followed Ra's out.

**THE...END!**

**Well, that's it guys! It is...9 something, June 3rd 2012, and we...are...DONE! I would like to thank everyone who contributed to this story, keep a good thought! Thank you fanfiction, uh...Warner Brothers for not suing me, and uh...yeah, look for the Spinoff this Summer, don't forget to REVIEW! And...thanks for making Senior year that much more bearable guys. I'm taking these next few days off, and then it's back to the grind with everything else...until then PEACE!**

_**Starring the Voice Talents of...**_

**Scott McCord**

**Kristen Fairlie**

**Kevin Conroy**

**Peter Oldring**

**Christian Potenza**

**Mae Whitman**

**Efrem Zimbalist Jr.**

**Dan Petronijevic**

**Cle Bennett**

**Emilie Claire-Barlow**

**Morgan Freeman**

**David Warner**

**Jeff Bennett**

**Mark Hamill**

**Rob Paulsen**

**Corey Burton**

_**Our Total Drama Rogues gallery**_

**Drew Nelson**

**Marco Grazzini**

**Peter Oldring**

**Megan Fahlenbock:**

**Rachel Wilson**

**Scott McCord**

**Katie Crown**

**Stephanie Ann Mills**

**Carter Hayden**

**Brian Froud  
**

**Julia Chantrey**

**Lauren Lipson**

**Cle Bennett**

**Carla Collins**

**Adam Reid**

**Annick Obonsawin**

_**Others**_

**Rob Paulsen**

**S. Scott Bullock**

**Billy West**

**Arleen Sorkin**

**Jennifer Hale**

**Jim Cummings  
**

**Paul Sorvino**

**Dana Delaney**

**Tress MacNeille  
**

**Clancy Brown**

**Tara Strong**

**Paul Sorvino**

**Scott Menville**

**Kath Soucie**

**John Glover**

**Dee Bradley Baker**

**Robert Costanzo**

**Frank Welker**

**Suzanne Stone**

**John DiMaggio**

**Richard Moll**

**Tom Kenny**

**Dorian Harewood**

**Bob Hastings **

**Maurice LaMarche **

**Ed Asner **

_**Special Thanks To**_

**Daughtry**

**Panic! At The Disco**

**Warner Bros. Animation**

**Total Drama**

**Kyrogue23**

**Sparkling-Nexis137**

**PhenomsServant**

**SargentEpsilon**

**Batman created by: Bob Kane**

_**Special thanks to**_

**ALL THE READERS!**


	236. Spinoff Season 1

**Alright, here is the first preliminary season to the spinoff! ENJOY  
**

**-We Are The Night!-**

**[Also I hope by now you realize that in REAL time, the events of the movie did not occur]**

**Episode 1: Adjustments _Villain: Phantasm, Andrea Beaumont. Featuring: Others_**

**Direction: **Dick Sebast **Story Editor: **Bruce Timm

Batgirl narrates a typical night in Gotham City. Everything starts out basically as typical as it can possibly get. She busts a few muggers, a bank robbery, a few baddies were all familiar with, you know same old, same old. Until she gets an urgent call from V-Bat, she goes to meet him at his coordinates to realize it was just a trap caused by Phantasm. Bridgette awakens chained to a bed (Not what you think) with Andrea standing above her. Her plan is to frame Batgirl for a crime, by impersonating her, and leave Bridgette helpless. She is saved by V-Bat. The two go forth to stop Beaumont, while trying to keep Batgirl's good name a secret, will it work? Will the heroes still remain heroes? Or will the world famous vigilante become the new target against the city?

**Episode 2: Tea and Death? Villain(s): _Ra's Al Ghul and crew, Gerald Moriarty, Alexei Moriarty_**

**Direction: **Kevin Altieri** Story Editor: **Paul Dini

In London, Ra's meets with his old friend Gerald Moriarty (Tom Kane) about funds and possibly giving his crew a solid PR so as to not have anyone become suspicious of their intentions. Gerald suggests make a phony company, and being a wealthy and financially important philanthropist, he agrees to fund it. While they brainstorm ideas Ex (Against Batman's orders) sneaks into Gerald's well secured penthouse, where she is inadvertently captured. Batman is quick to realize this, so he and Robin stealthfully try and rescue her, while trying to put a damper on Ra's and Gerald's plans, as well as evade his ever strenuous crew. Minus Mansfield of course. Cody is also unhappy about Gerald's sociopathic son Alexei, who flirts with Sara. The two also recruit the help of two stowaways, and some unlikely help from 2 people from Batman's not too distant past.

**Episode 3: A Cold Joke Villain(s): _Joker, Mrs. Freeze Featuring: Ferris Boyle_**

**Direction: **Dan Riba **Story Editor: **Michael Reaves&Paul Rugg

Joker and Greed are playing chess at Arkham. Joker quickly pops the question of Greed's very happy relationship with Nurse Pain. Joker remembers what Harley said about how he never appreciated her, and wishes to maybe find love the right way...and to an equal extent, a new henchgirl. As he is in dire need. After Boyle gives him advice, Joker gets up from the table, telling him he needs time to think. So he escapes, and on a quick and poorly planned heist, he runs into Mrs. Freeze. Joker tries to bust a move, which she is quickly angered. So she decides to eliminate him. Nearly frozen, Joker manages to make a piss-poor distress signal, which Batgirl and Red Robin pick up. This tails them to Freeze's new frozen lair. After a rather awesome fight, Joker is saved, nearly costing everyone their lives. Too weak to catch him, the two heroes settle on one. Joker starts to walk away exclaiming "All I wanted was love...if you need me, I'll be at the Clownfish" In the B-Story, Andrea is stuck in an elevator with Mayor Hill, and she pushes more anti-costume policies on him (B-Story based on the Animaniacs short: Ups and Downs)

**Episode 4: Crazy For Disease Control! Villain: **_**Nurse Pain Featuring: Ferris Boyle**_

**Direction: **Alan Burnett **Story Editor: **Sparkling-Nexis137

Harleen Quinzel is bummed. It seems every other Gotham villain seems to be doing better than she. Everyone has a better gimmick, even her sister is cashing in on the villain's game. So, she just feels completely sad. She sits with Ferris at their new energy efficient lair, and watch some TV. He falls asleep, but as Harleen is flipping through channels. She comes across a half-assed disease movie from the 1980's. An animal spreads a deadly virus across the world. She gets the idea to create a super virus, and a vaccine, where she can hold the city for ransom, by asking a ridiculous amount of money for a vaccine, and for the city to rename her a nurse, and even rename Gotham Medical the Harleen Medical center. With her knowhow of medicines and diseases, this plague is certainly deadly, which goes without saying. Phantasm and the Bat-Team make a temp. truce in order to stop the psycho. Creeper joins in too.

**Episode 5: Cat-Caper _Villain(s): Marauder, Lena Price Featuring: Ra's and Crew _**

**Direction: **Eric Radomski **Story Editor: **Tom Ruegger&John P. McCann

The Bat's are in gay Pairs, where Ra's and Gerald attend a gala in hopes to drum up more investors for Ra's dummy company. Trent Wayne invites himself to said gala, while trying to avoid the two altogether. Gwen joins him as a date, much to Heather's chagrin. They meet French philanthropist Lena Price (Adrienne Barbeau) and her niece Kara DiCenzo (Christy Carlson-Romano). How either or is French I can't say. They are quick to discover a new villain calling herself the Marauder, who is none other than Kara, stealing items for her aunt so she can sell them. Bat and Cat put their plans on hold so they can stop the two. Cat is bummed to discover the new villain is three times the thief she ever was, and is off her game drastically. In the B-Story, Robin, Heather, and Exterminator give Grant and Maryanne tips on how to become heroes, they start by trying to apprehend Boxer, Nault, and Lock-Up, who they spot leaving a local bar, completely intoxicated.

**Episode 6: The Villain's Guide To... _Villain(s): Riddler, Phantasm, Bane Featuring: Others_**

**Direction: **Tom Ruegger **Story Editor: **Peter Hastings&Sherri Stoner

Riddler decides to write a book titled: The Villain's Guide..." An all access playbook of what it takes to become a successful villain in Gotham city. He asks Bane to type it for him. It's a series of situations (All involving the Bat Team at some point or another) that a serious villain would want to get away from. After a multitude of failed ideas, because the Bat-Team seems to be the victors in every scenario Riddler chooses, he calls it quits on the book. The two decide to get rid of whatever they made at the local dump, only to be t-boned by Phantasm. She has also captured Creeper and Batgirl who were spying on while he was planning another big and convoluted scheme to get rid of all the costumed nuts in the city. And it will take all their skills to escape. Perhaps the book wasn't such a terrible idea after all?

**Episode 7: A Thorne in the Side _Villain(s): Andrea Beaumont, Phantasm, Rupert Thorne, Poison Ivy_**

**Direction: **Curt Geda **Story Editor: **Paul Dini

Bridgette Gordon answers the door at Wayne Manor, she is pissed to see a smirking Andrea at the door. They dispense with the formalities, and after a brutal conversation Bridgette is informed that it is her time to complete her annual 10 hours of community service as the police force requires. Shes really pissed to find out, it's shuffling papers at Andrea's office. (So, shes basically her bitch) Meanwhile she wouldn't Andrea wouldn't find herself relishing in the moment long, cause Phantasm would be called off to oversee a business deal with Ivy and Rupert Thorne. Phantasm of course was hired by Thorne. Batgirl, V-Bat, and Red Robin will have to try to sneak Bridgette out so they can stop the deal and take them down. In the B-Story Alfred gives Geoff advice on how to ask Bridgette to marry him. This of course does not go over very well at all.

**Episode 8: In Soviet Russia... _Villain(s): Ra's and Crew, Dmitri&Ivan Smetlov (one-shots)_**

**Direction: **Frank Paur **Story Editor: **Steve Perry&Butch Hartman

The two teams collide in Russa...crash land is more like it. They are just outside the sleepy town of Smolensk. Ra's believes this town contains the first stone. Which both parties are quick to discover it has already been unearthed and is in the ruthless hands of international arms dealers Dmitri (Jim Cummings) and Ivan Smetlov (Corey Burton) the brothers intend to sell it to Syria so they can buy more weapons to sell to some volatile nations. They learn Syria simply wants to melt the stone down into some semblance of a resource. It's clear the two teams will have to briefly set aside their differences, and go in mission impossible style to retrieve the stone. And the end isn't so pretty for Ivan or Dmitri either. Also, Mansfield tries to be cool by tagging along, only for him to ruin everything. Ubu learns a few pointless Russian jokes, that all start the same.

**Episode 9: The Fall (Part I) _Villain(s): Lisa Duran, Rupert Thorne, ?_**

**Direction: **Bruce Timm **Story Editor: **Sparkling-Nexis137

A bright new detective joins the Gotham police force by the name of Lisa Duran (Candi Milo) she seems nice, but she tends to be a bit over obsessive. Especially if that obsession is Vice Commissioner Gil Mason, who is trying to advance a relationship with Courtney (Partially to get her mind off of Gwen) Lisa tries to bust a move on Gil, but quickly sees Courtney being flirtatious, this makes her snap a little and become very jealous. She tears up pictures of Montoya and makes dolls of her that she abuses physically. But a drug bust thanks to the Bat crew, and a the couple hugging sends her over the edge. So using her police knowledge, she transfers the departments money little by little to Courtney's account, where she dismisses this as a raise. Then she goes to make a deal with Rupert Thorne, disguised as Courtney. Chef and Gil investigate, and the situation ends with Chef getting injured by Courtney. He is hospitalized. Angered Gil vows revenge.

**Episode 10: The Fall (Part II) _Villain(s): Lisa Duran, Joker, ?_**

**Direction: **Kevin Altieri **Story Editor: **Sparkling-Nexis137&Michael Reaves

Courtney is in a rather fetching mood for some reason. The reason being, Gil. Shes been oblivious to everything that has happened thus far. She decides to surprise the morning briefing with a box of donuts, she is quick to discover dirty looks from people. It gets worse in the station. She is ambushed, and Chris explains what she "allegedly" did. Courtney tries to explain but it's no use. Her only option is to jump from a window and to a dumpster below. Feeling like shes out of options, that evening she turns to the Bat-Crew for help via the signal, instead of being met by the love and compassion, it's a bunch of Batarangs, they don't believe her either. Courtney chases them and the police through town and to the sewers. She is cornered by a large drop off which leads to the ocean below. Courtney knows shes defeated. And before falling tells them she truly thought they would believe her. She laughs, telling them how she had devoted her entire life to doing what was right. To upholding the law. To being the perfect angel that everyone would love, but it just wasn't enough. She would just never be perfect. With those last words and tears in her eyes she spreads her arms, and falls over the edge. Shis washed up a few miles east of Gotham, on a shore, near an old hotel, the clownfish, inhabited by Joker who is doing some thinking. Courtney wakes up to a hot meal, and warmth, she is quick to fight Joker, but he is quick to coerce her...she knows she has no place in Gotham as a hero...so he suggests a villain. She is reluctant at first...but agrees.

**Episode 11: The Fall (Part III) _Villain(s): Joker, Jester, Lisa Duran _**

**Direction: **Alan Burnett&Eric Radomski **Story Editor: **Sparkling-Nexis137&Paul Dini

Hamilton keeps having sleepless nights, still thinking of Courtney's apparent suicide. Bridgette can't sleep either, they both find themselves in the Bat-Cave, researching more about her crimes. Nothing adds up. It is clear Courtney is innocent the whole time, much to their dismay. They find the one person who had motive...opportunity...and fingerprints everywhere, Lisa Duran! Shes caught and reveals everything to them. There is little time to grieve when they are called out to a crime committed by Joker. They catch him, but notices he's got a new player: Jester! V-Bat examines the new girl and realizes that it's none other than Courtney Montoya! They tell her she is innocent and off the hook, but she doesn't care. They begin a fight, where it was a losing battle for the villains. V-Bat uses the reverse psychology to try and get Joker to bad mouth Courtney so she can resent him. It works but Courtney's arguing is interrupted by a Joker wink. The two lose, and are taken to Arkham. On the way once they're alone in the van the two smile, saying how they're great actors, and make out all the way to the asylum.

**There she be! Look for this towards the summer! R&R PEACE! **


End file.
